AN: Apologies for the delay, the chapter is a bit longer. And I've upped the rating to M for Mature. Because Heero is a perv. (and we like it).
Happy belated New Year! Love, ~Rose
Losing my Breath
Chapter 6
"Maddening."
"Difficult."
Defined the relationship.
...
The following Friday night, Heero knocked on her door for a third time. He waited. "Relena!" Adjusted his hold on the bouquet of lilies. Quieted racing thoughts. Breathed. Listened.
No answer.
The rush began again: 'Where is she? Is she hurt? Is she angry? Did she forget? How could she forget!'
He banged on her door. His hand shook. Heero tucked his right hand under his left arm and waited for the tremor to subside. "Relena! Open up!"
Silence.
'She hasn't called or texted.' Heero leaned back against the wall. He ran a hand through his hair. It trembled. 'Dammit, stop. Calm down.'
He sent her a text. Worked to quiet himself.
Breathed.
Waited.
A greyish white haze trickled in. Then flowed. Heero let it take away the rush. His mind and body stilled. He thought nothing. Felt...
He found his breath.
"I'm here, I'm here!" A woman power-walked in long strides around the corner. "I know I'm late, but I got stuck with this stupid project and—"
Heero blinked. She came into focus. Relena. "We have a date."
"Yes, I'm aware. Just." She heaved a sigh and sent him a sharp look. "Give me a few minutes to get changed. You can come in." She squeezed his forearm before unlocking the door.
He liked her touch.
"Grab a drink from the fridge while you wait."
Heero followed her inside. Her apartment was the smaller version of his, and mirror-opposite. The entryway felt closed without the den; her kitchen sat to the right of the door. The living area held a few pieces of wood furniture - a coffee table, a sofa table; a bookshelf. Clean surfaces. A few picture frames. He drifted into her residence.
A couple of bottles of his new favorite IPA sat in her fridge. Heero opened one and moved to the living room. He pushed against the haze and focused on the cold feeling of the bottle in his hand.
The air and his surroundings sharpened. Heero sank into Relena's couch; he liked the colors: a royal blue with dark red and green stripes and a faint damask. The dark wood coffee table rose to the perfect height to rest his boots.
He took a sip of his beer.
A few, sparse, photos peppered the walls and leant her apartment a 'lived in' air. She still hung a paper calendar on the wall of her kitchen. An interesting painting hung above the fireplace - of a young woman wearing a red and black dress; a crimson flag slung over her left shoulder, she walked through a field carrying a black sword.
'Why that painting?'
The shush of water; pipes groaned. Heero sighed and launched the app on his phone: he moved their reservation back an hour. Thankfully, the restaurant he had chosen - a comfortable walking distance (even in heels) - still had openings.
A shower. She had to take a—
'Fuck.' He almost choked on a swallow of beer. His date showered a few feet away. He couldn't (and didn't want to) dispel the mental image of her: drenched the way she'd been the first time he saw her, but nude. Water droplets dotting her skin and clinging to intimate, sensitive places. And little blond curls...
Heero stood up and started pacing as the rush began again. 'Who else has she invited in like this? Doesn't she realize how vulnerable she is?'
Breathe. Pace. Breathe.
'Should I join her? No. Not on the first date. Is this a test?'
Breathe. Pace.
...
She lathered soap across her abdomen, working her hands over delicate skin. A light, dusting of bubbles trailed behind as her fingers skimmed over the wet, pebbled surface of her breasts.
...
He measured his steps around the room, and counted his breaths. And then a different mental image appeared:
...
Heero pressed her soaked body against the shower wall. Streams of water beat his shoulders as he bit kisses down her neck to the swell of her breast. Relena moaned; he slipped his fingers between her legs—
...
Pace. Pace. Breathe. Pace.
The heated apartment air buzzed around him. 'Too heavy. It's too heavy to breathe. How long has she been in the shower?' He glanced at his watch. 'Five minutes?'
Heero hung his head. He let himself out of her residence and paced measured steps outside - in the hallway. He needed to calm his body - his pulse, his thoughts.
...
He turned her around; her hips tilted. Heero guided his erection to the opening in her velvet-soft folds.
...
Heero panted and pressed his forehead against the cool window situated between their apartments.
And breathed.
Thirty minutes to shower and change was probably a record for a fairy princess. But, not for the former Marine.
Finally, she called out: "Ready." And stepped into the living room.
While Heero hadn't thought she needed to change, he could appreciate the transformation. His 'friend' and neighbor had worn 'business casual' clothes: a long sweater coat and jeans, comfortable shoes; upswept hair.
Heero's 'date', however, pulled a piece of her loose, dark-blond hair behind one ear. Her makeup made her eyelashes darker; her eyes rounder. Relena shrugged one shoulder underneath a loose, light blue sweater; a dark-colored skirt clung to her hips. Gray, knee-high boots left her lower thigh exposed.
Heero wanted to taste her.
Instead, he handed her the flowers he'd brought and offered her a smile.
She met his gaze with a grin of her own. 'I should just take her back to her shower.' Heero shoved his hands in his pockets.
"Stargazer lilies? Interesting choice."
He leaned back against the wall beside her door. "They looked like you."
"Do you believe flowers have meanings?"
He gestured at himself. "What do you think?" Heero had 'dressed up' for her, for their date: a button down shirt and blazer over jeans and his usual work boots. Still a far cry from her 'handsome prince.'
A hint of a smile toyed with her lips. "I've always thought you looked like a guy that knows exactly what he wants to say - and when he wants to say it."
Relena pulled a vase from her cabinet, and ran water into the container. "So, you likely didn't choose red roses on purpose." She unbound the flowers from a clear plastic surround.
"But, stargazer lilies in dark pink espouse a general optimism. And purity."
"They were on sale."
"You're still a terrible liar." Relena peered at him around her cabinets. "I know, at least, you weren't a spy."
"General reconnaissance." He crossed his arms. "Not the lying kind of spying."
"The sentiment is very sweet."
The wall to his left attracted his attention. For no particular reason.
"You said you were going to take me to this novel place called a restaurant?"
He found her again with his eyes. She placed the vase in the center of her countertop. The lillies stood tall; the blooms strong and bright. A spicy, exotic fragrance drifted into the air.
"Reconnaissance reports suggest it has all four food groups: steak, potatoes, IPA and lager."
She laughed. "You're a true romantic, Heero Yuy."
"No. But, you know what you're getting into."
She folded her arm into his, and he led them out of her apartment.
"And, while we're on the subject. None of my intentions are pure, Relena."
She met his gaze; her complexion turned a shade brighter than the lilies. "Well, I don't think it meant—"
"I left your apartment while you were showering. If I wasn't an overgrown Boy Scout. You were inviting trouble."
"Maybe I did it on purpose."
He stopped. "We're going back to your shower."
"Ok, ok, I didn't do it on purpose." She tugged him into the elevator. "I'm sorry for tempting you. When you've been," Relena smiled, "mostly good to me."
"I haven't even started, yet."
She met his gaze again. "I'm starting to wonder if you learned anything in Prince Charming school." She stepped off the elevator. Heero took a couple of long strides to catch up with her.
"I was expelled as soon as I arrived on my motorcycle - instead of a white horse."
"Now you're just trying to convince me you're a bad boy."
He opened the exit door, and let her go first. A blast of chilled air rifled his collar as they stepped onto the sidewalk. "Did it work?"
She elbowed him in the ribs. "No, overgrown Boy Scout. It didn't. And I prefer an emotionally mature man."
He held out his arm; she slipped her gloved hand in the crook of his elbow. "I don't cry. Or wear pink."
Relena giggled. She leaned into his arm. The sound of her heels clicked on the concrete.
The night smelled of frost. A haze of gray clouds obscured the sky. Street lamps lit the air and the ground in patches. The clink and clack of an elevated train whooshed nearby.
"What about getting in touch with your feminine side?"
Heero tilted his head towards her. "No."
She laughed; her breath puffed like clouds in the air as they walked. "You're just bitter over not getting into princess school."
"Damn right."
The second course qualified as "difficult".
...
A myriad of restaurants operated within walking distance of their apartment. Friday nights bustled with patrons and served free, appetizing smells to passers-by. Heero had chosen one that offered reservations, a quiet ambiance and a moderate price tag.
Upon arrival, a hostess with a familiar voice showed the couple to their table - a booth in a quiet corner. He slipped a small bill into the lady's hand; she smiled, nodded at his date with a grin, and headed off.
Round fixtures held flameless candles situated in the center of the table. A single orchid plumed from a tiny vase. Heero sat across from her in the cozy restaurant booth. Under the table, his legs stretched at an angle; her boot pressed against the side of his calf.
He liked the small connection.
No specialty IPA, they chatted back and forth over choosing a bottle of wine.
"Do you prefer red or white?"
"Red at least has some health benefits. At least, that's what I tell myself."
"Hn. What kind?"
"Depends. Are we choosing based on what goes with our dinner, or based on courses or—" she stopped. Bit her lip. Looked up at him. "I like a nice Pinot Noir?"
Heero nodded and looked at the list. He read several names and shrugged. "The only thing I know is Oregon makes a good one?"
One eyebrow lifted. "And where did you hear that?"
"Airforce pilot. Wanted to make wine after the military."
"I like Oregon Pinot Noirs. This one? From Williamette Valley? Oh, um, I can buy the wine. At least."
"You've bought, and cooked me dinner twice. Not including the pizza."
"But, I—"
"You're a modern princess. But, your kingdom's currency isn't accepted here. You're stuck letting me pay for dinner."
Her lips curved.
"Your consulting business must do pretty well?"
"I can pay my employees and make a reasonable living. Could be more - if I dedicated people to marketing and sales."
Her leg brushed his. She rested clasped hands on the edge of the table.
"Right now, I have all the business I can handle by word of mouth."
"Who knew you were so entrepreneurial?" She lifted greenish-blue eyes up to meet his gaze. He stared back. Her pink lips formed a subtle pout. That insatiable urge to kiss her started nagging him, again.
A small basket of rolls landed on the table in front of them; a waiter wearing a white apron over a tie and shirtsleeves appeared. The man spoke words, but Heero didn't listen. He grunted and gestured at Relena to convey the important message: 'ask her'.
Relena opened her menu and engaged the man in conversation. Heero blinked and the waiter shuffled off towards the back of the restaurant.
"You ok?"
"Hm?" He glanced across the table. "Yeah. Why?"
"You seemed a little distracted."
"Just hungry. And I don't like to fill up on bread."
"I wish I could say the same. About bread. I should add an extra workout day just to burn off the bread calories."
He swallowed the urge to suggest another way to burn calories. But, he couldn't hide the smile.
She huffed and rolled her eyes: "You and your subtext!"
After the lengthy process of ordering and pouring wine - their food arrived. Relena smiled at him over a plate of blackened redfish and sautéed vegetables. "It smells amazing." She took a bite.
"How is it?" Heero cut into the large filet. It wasn't as red as he liked, but it tasted all right.
"Good. Yours?"
Heero glanced down at his steak and shrugged. "Hm."
"Just 'hm'?"
"My neighbor makes a better one. And she makes house calls."
Her face lit with laughter. "Don't get used to it."
"Too late."
"Hmmmm." She turned her head to give him a sidelong glance that made him think of sex.
Heero motioned at her plate: "I don't always have to have steak and potatoes. I do eat other things."
Relena nodded her head a bit too much. "Oh, yeah, very convincing. Considering." She pointed at his plate of steak. With potatoes - and green beans.
"I just meant: we can eat things you like." He studied his plate. "Isn't that what couples do? Compromise?"
"Couples?"
Heero scowled. "We've discussed this."
"We have?"
He straightened in his seat. "You're avoiding again. Or playing a game. And you're not like the women that play games."
Blue-green eyes sparked in the overhead light. "You could ask me."
"Ask you to, be my girlfriend? Be exclusive? What do you need me to say, Relena?"
"Either of those would have been fine." She picked the napkin out of her lap. "Without the attitude. Heero." Relena slapped it on the table and stood.
"I didn't mean to give you attitude." He placed a hand on top of hers. "We just discussed this a week ago. I told you what I meant."
She sat back down.
"If my message isn't received, tell me what I need to say."
"I don't want to," she spoke to her plate, "date anyone else. But, I-I'm not sure…."
"Of what?"
"I'm not sure how serious." Her eyebrows pinched together. "I mean, I know you're not asking…. But, I'm not sure I'm ready to get married - as an example. And, I-I want to be sure we're on the same time table."
His princess was turning out to be 'complicated'. "This is enough for now."
"This? Food and kisses and working out?"
His heart knocked against his ribcage. "Well. No."
"Which part needs to change? Because, over the past few weeks," she waved her fork at the space between them. "This. Isn't enough for me, either."
"I can do more, for you, Relena." He returned to cutting his steak in a slowed-down version of eating.
"I want to go out places. Bring you with me to meet coworkers or friends."
Heero nodded. "I can do that."
"What about parents? Family?"
He straightened his shoulders and met her gaze. "Within mission parameters."
"Plus one at a wedding." She arched an eyebrow.
"Acceptable."
"All right. And although I'm sure I can guess." Her head tilted. "What's missing from your side?"
"Watching sports." He took a bite of green beans and chewed.
Her mouth opened and closed. "What?"
"Did you expect me to say 'sex', Relena?"
"Yes."
"You have a one track mind." He swallowed a smile.
"Me?" Red tinged her cheeks. "You're mister subtext."
"If sex is that important—"
"Ha ha, Mr. Yuy. Very clever."
"I'm a physical person." He placed his napkin on the table. "We started off working out together. I'd like that to continue."
"It's," she nodded, "on the table."
"I don't mean here. That's not what restaurants are for, Relena."
"You're absolutely awful sometimes! I mean!" She heaved a sigh. "You know what I mean."
He grinned. "You turn pink when you're angry."
"If there's nothing chocolate on the menu, you're taking me someplace else for dessert." Relena pointed at him. "And not my shower!"
The third course - returned to 'maddening'...
...
Heero pinned Relena beneath him on her couch - her breathy moans loosening ties on his strict discipline (courtesy of eight years in the Marine Corps). He kissed a path down her neck. Her fingers dug into the space between his shoulder blades. He pushed fabric out of the way to get to the soft skin of her breast.
Heero settled more of his weight into her.
"Ah, Heero…"
His name on her lips. Her hot breath against his ear. Heero laved his tongue over the peak of her breast. His left hand palmed the other and applied gentle pressure. She felt so good….
"H-Heero." She pushed against his shoulders. "Uhhhhhhhhhn. N-not yet. Please."
He closed his mouth to keep the deep sigh and pathetic whimper caged inside. Heero pushed himself into a sitting position.
"I-I…" Relena pulled her sweater down and sat up. She combed fingers through her hair.
"It's fine. Not on the first date." Heero stood up.
"It's not that. I mean it is, but. It's more than that."
"Ok." He set his jaw.
"I, uh, need to tell you something. A couple of something's. Actually." She folded her hands in her lap.
"Sure."
"I've had boyfriends before, and there have been," she twisted her fingers together. "But I...haven't exactly…."
Heero tried not to stare at her. No one, in her twenty-five years, had shared her bed? "Understood. If you'll trust me, we can take things slow."
"Okay. I trust you. More than anyone else. Which is why," she stood up, and took one of his hands into hers. "I want you to trust me, too."
He knew what she was going to say. The closed adoption search didn't yield much information - other than her birth mother's family name. And that Relena had been in contact with the family for around a decade.
"I don't know how to say this. B-but." She met his gaze. "My real name is Relena Peacecraft. Not." Her shoulders shrugged and her eyebrows lifted. "Not Darlian."
"I'm aware."
"You're what?"
"It's what I do for a living, Relena."
She dropped his hand and gaped at him. "That's more than an internet search, Heero."
"I wasn't kidding about my security clearance." He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I research everyone who lives in our building."
"You know everyone—"
"I helped police find a missing kid and arrest a drug dealer. The leasing manager looks the other way when I stop in."
A sharp intake of breath. "So, you did a search before we met."
"I dug deeper afterwards. The DoD* will conduct an official investigation on all members of my household."
"So, you're saying." Relena blinked. "I'd have to pass a background check. Once we were, if we were," she frowned. "Serious."
A flash of anger burned through him. "This is 'serious', or I wouldn't bother."
"I. Well. From now on, if you want to know something, ask me. If there's a background check I need to pass, to be part of your life, I should at least know about it. Agreed?"
Heero nodded.
"So, then, you already know. That I was adopted. And about my family?"
"The name. Was there something else?"
"Well. No? Just." She sat back down on her couch. "The Peacecrafts happen to be a distant relation to the House of Glücksburg." Relena smoothed hands over her skirt. One thumb lingered on her inner thigh.
He wanted to find out how sensitive that flesh was.
"And, they can be a little intrusive. At times."
Sonofa- "House of Glücksburg? As in, you really are a princess."
She huffed and glared. "Nothing like that! Just. Very distantly related to a, uh, 'house of nobility'."
"You're a real princess." Heero shook his head. Of course she was. Because stuff like that happened in real life.
"I'm not! Everyone in Europe is related to nobility. Somewhere." Relena glanced in the direction of the painting on her wall. "But the Peacecrafts can act like I have some weird responsibilities. At times."
"Like knighting ceremonies? Dancing at balls until midnight?" He leaned over the side of the couch. "You have a pair of glass slippers, don't you?"
"You're impossible!" She stood up. "None of those things. But, I got a little frustrated with them in college. Always wanting to know where I was, who I was with. My grades."
Heero shook his head. The life of a princess. Wait. "You're in hiding."
"Only a little. Not a lot. Just. I don't want that life. I want my life."
He tilted his head and tried to picture which princess she'd be. Of course, his knowledge of the traditional fairy tale princesses was cursory at best: he kinda knew Cinderella; there was one with long hair. Wasn't there one that turned into an ogre? Yeah, he didn't fuckin' know.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Just trying to figure out what kind of fairy godmother sets you up with a Marine. She didn't read my resume: quarter Japanese mutt with no pedigree, no college, no prince charming certificate." He picked up his blazer. "The old lady's gone blind or batty."
Her face relaxed into a smile. "I fired her ages ago. I picked you on my own."
"I'm sure your house of nobility would object."
"Like I said. I don't want that life." She nibbled at his bottom lip, drawing him into a kiss. A light, slow connection….
The kiss broke. "They'll come looking."
"My brother will," she said with a sigh. "The rest of them, who knows? And I don't care what they think."
He took a deep breath. It wasn't the right time, but he may as well start target practice. "We should elope."
"What? You-you're kidding!" She twisted in his embrace. He tightened his hold.
"I'm not."
"I will throw you out again, Heero Yuy!" She broke away and took a step back.
"You were sending me home anyway. It's almost midnight. One of us is bound to turn into a pumpkin."
"I'm surprised you know that reference."
"Princess school entrance exams."
"Right." Relena walked him to the door. When she reached for the handle to let him out, he grabbed her hand and pulled her close. Heero seized her lips into a rough kiss. Her hands came up to his shoulders, then wound around his neck. He swept his tongue into her mouth.
After a long moment of trying not to pick her up and carry her off to her bedroom - the kiss broke. Her eyes fluttered open. Relena smiled; she met his gaze through heavy-looking eyelids. "Prince Charming doesn't kiss like that."
"He's doing it wrong."
"I agree. The Marine Corps has better technique."
"That's not the Corps."
"Oh no?" She drew her hand down the side of his cheek.
"We could still elope tonight."
She dropped her hand. "How?"
"I have ways. If that's a yes?"
"It'll take you more than one date, Yuy." She pushed him away.
"Tomorrow?"
"Go!" She opened the door. He stepped into the hallway, then turned and leaned down. She pecked his lips. "Good night, Heero. I had a wonderful time on our first date."
He nodded. "Good night, Relena."
Before letting himself into his apartment, Heero turned around. Relena's door clicked shut and he sighed.
'She really is a God damned princess.'
*DoD = US Department of Defense; it provides the military forces needed to deter war and ensure national security. And issues the vast majority (80%) of security clearances.
