AN: I will admit that my chapter lengths are looking a little strange from here, so I'll try to sort that out as I go (1500 words in one chapter, 3000 in another? Who wrote this thing?)
Updates weren't supposed to be this slow, but, I'm still desperately trying to find the end of my next fic, tentatively titled: Walk through Fire. It's an in-universe slow sloooow sloooooooow burn fic set two years after EW (did I mention slow?). I've written 23 chapters so far, and, um, yeah. Not finished yet.
Also, I'm working on a prompt fic for the TodoMomo prompt fest "Timeless Trust"- in case any of ya'll care for that pairing from My Hero Academia.
Thanks so much for reading "Losing my Breath". It's been a lot of fun and while it took some strange turns on me at times (still to come!), it's a story that means a lot to me.
Just 5 chapters and an epilogue left from here!
Love,
~Rose
Rated M for Mature! Definitely smutty nakedness (+ angst) contained within this chapter. Edited down for the ratings limit on this site. (You can find the unedited version on Ao3. User name "the_black_rose")
Chapter 9
"Breathtaking." Is how she looked in the moonlight.
A few nights after his 'reconnaissance mission', Heero invited his girlfriend over to watch the hockey game. She showed up looking comfortable in yoga pants, slippers, and the best version of a Blackhawks jersey he'd ever seen. Low-cut in the front and just tight enough - in all the best places.
Relena slipped onto the couch beside him; legs curled up beneath her, she leaned her head on his shoulder. His hand assumed a neutral position on her knee.
The horn blared on TV. Face-off. A referee blew his whistle. The Blackhawk center sent the puck hurtling backwards to his defenseman. "Clack," the hard rubber disk deflected off the player's stick; the defenseman scrambled forward. He passed the puck into the neutral zone.
The crowd quieted while the left wing dashed across the ice. Announcers' voices faded into the background - like the speakers moved out into the hall.
His girlfriend shifted next to him; her fingers touched his chin, tipping his head to look at her.
Heero blinked to dispel the grayish haze he referred to as 'the void'. It crept into his mind and vision at odd times - filling his head with cotton batting.
Relena's lips moved and she frowned.
'Dammit.' He stifled a groan. "I wasn't listening."
"I asked if you were going to order pizza."
"Already done. It'll be here before the end of the first period."
"You were off in outer space a minute ago."
"I wasn't."
"Just," she soothed fingers through the hair on the back of his neck. "Staring at me, then?" Her breath puffed against his ear.
Thousands of shivers trickled through the muscles of his back. In no particular hurry. "Hm."
His girlfriend gave him that shy smile - the one with a teasing glint in her eyes. It warmed his chest from the inside out. He bent forward and caught her lips into a kiss. She opened her mouth, allowing him to deepen their connection.
He pressed her back into the couch - his hand slipping into her shirt. The former Marine skimmed his hand over her ribcage, and ran his thumb over the soft, gauzy fabric of her bra. She gasped and shifted beneath him. Her eyes slipped closed.
"Uncomfortable, or embarrassed?"
"Embarrassed."
"Relax. It's ok if you enjoy this."
She opened her eyes. Her complexion peaked into a dark shade of pink. "I do. Enjoy being with you like this."
He kissed her cheek and continued to tease the tip of her areola, finally peeling down the cup so he could palm the heated flesh beneath.
"We're not going to make it through three periods," she nibbled at his ear, "like this." Relena soothed her tongue along the side of his neck. Her teeth grazed his flesh.
He couldn't stop a low moan from escaping. "Uhhhhhn." He opened her bra at the center clasp, and slid his knee beneath hers. He parted her legs so he could shift closer. The pressure, the tightness building up for months - lurched in his groin.
"Why not?" He moved his hand to gain a strategic hold at the waistband of her pants.
"You know why," her voice rasped. "Uhhhh, Heero..."
"I thought you liked hockey."
"I do. It's basketball I hate."
"Should have turned that on."
"Only if you like hockey more than me."
"Never. Not even the Stanley Cup finals."
She sat up and ripped her shirt over her head. He pulled the bra straps from Relena's shoulders before laying her down. Heero settled his weight into her. He dipped his head - their mouths meeting, becoming firmer, more insistent. Electric charges sparked through his skin and rolled the length of his spine.
Heero slipped fingers into the loose band at her hips, and traced a line against her skin. He broke the kiss to mouth down her neck. Soft, enticing noises escaped her lips. He bit and sucked at the flesh of her chest, and felt her arch off the couch when he mouthed over the peak of her breast.
"Heero!"
Nails dug into the skin between his shoulder blades. Heero had to steel himself against the hot, electric wave that washed through his system.
He lifted his head. "You ok?"
"Yesssss," she hissed, her head thrown back over the arm of his couch - her hands pawing at his shirt.
"One of us has to answer the door when pizza arrives."
She groaned. "I hate pizza."
"You don't."
"I hate it right now. I want your shirt off."
"You can wait ten minutes. I've been waiting months."
"If it had been you, shirtless, fixing my car - I might have jumped you then."
"Liar." Heero kissed her again. He slid his hand into her pants - fingers smoothing over her lace panties. He waited to see if she would twist away.
Before his 'reconnaissance mission', he had been coaxing her, week after week. Waiting for her to become comfortable with this aspect of their relationship. Their last 'exchange' gave him hope that maybe, they were getting closer.
...
"Tell me. Tell me something you feel." Relena looked at him through lowered lashes.
"I feel like. I don't want to let you go."
...
The patience of a sniper. He used to hate it. Waiting. Watching. Aching. Breathing. Boring.
At least nothing about waiting for her was dull.
Heero pushed one finger into the dampened cloth between her legs - in search of her tight little nub. He found it with the knuckle of his index finger and pressed. His girlfriend whimpered. She twisted and squirmed in his grip.
"Uncomfortable, or embarrassed?" He whispered.
"Just embarrassed."
"Trust me."
Hazy, blue-green eyes met his. "I do. And…." She panted.
"And?" He used his forearm to push her leg back into its position. Heero drew another circle with his knuckle. He grinned as she moved her hips, grinding against his hand.
"I don't knooooow," Relena let her head fall back.
She writhed beneath his touch. Her breasts bare, her chest arched. His girlfriend thrust against him. She moaned.
"Honest answer."
"Y-yes. I want you."
Heero took a deep breath and attempted to calm his racing pulse. Rational thought told him he couldn't take her on the couch. A first time should be better than that. He stood from the sofa; bent down and scooped her up.
The former Marine cradled her against his chest, carrying her the short distance to his bedroom. He kicked the door shut, laid her on his bed, and pulled her slippers from her feet. Heero stripped off her yoga pants and panties in one go.
He yanked his shirt over his head, and shed his own pants and boxers.
He kissed her, again, long and lingering as he crawled into the bed beside her. His hands returned to exploring and teasing her softer form. His girlfriend broke their kiss, one hand cupping his cheek. Her aquamarine eyes glittered.
Heero hovered over her, propped up on one arm.
"I remember. What I was going to say before." She held his face in both hands.
"You don't have to say anything."
Relena's eyebrows pinched together. "But I—"
"If you want to tell me, I'll listen.
"I," she sucked in a breath. "I love you, Heero."
He closed his eyes. Dammit. He had to change his pace. His plan. He'd wanted to take his time - kissing, tasting every cell of her skin. Driving her mad with desire. Until the flames of his need became theirs.
But, she changed the mission in an instant. Her need was something discrete. Different. Something he could have, should have anticipated - yet, missed.
Which meant: this was the time. This was the crucial moment.
With her confession lingering in the air, Heero moved. He pressed his length into her tight entrance. The feel of her body created an aching pit in his stomach. He let out a long, even breath.
Her face in the moonlight. Silver dusted her lashes. It painted her cheeks in brightness, and cast shadows on her abdomen. His girlfriend's brow furrowed and her features contorted.
"Why," she pressed her forehead against his. "Why did you stop?"
"I couldn't breathe."
"Oh?"
"Yeah." He pushed a piece of hair out of her face and curled it behind her ear. "You steal my breath away."
"Heero…." She kissed him.
The former Marine lifted himself from the circle of her arms. He pulled out to the tip, then plunged back inside. The friction sparked and soothed at the same time. His first few strokes, Heero kept at a slow pace - watching her. Eyes closed, features slack; her mouth open and mewling. Sparks turned into flames, and he accelerated their rhythm.
He had waited so long…
'Too long,' that primal urge within him roared as he moved in and out of her body. She arched and stretched and fell beneath him. The aching pit in his stomach turned into a sucking vortex. It chilled the heat from his body; pulled his will, his gentleness, and left him with cold desperation.
"Relena…." Heero pressed his thumb into her folds.
"Uhn, ohhh. Please," she whimpered. Her arms around his shoulders tightened; she hardened and stilled beneath him. And then she shuddered, her hands grasping, nails biting; Relena convulsed as she orgasmed. Her body quaked around him, and she breathed his name.
Heero growled. He needed more.
He increased the speed and force of his thrusts. She clung to his neck as her hips surged to meet him - legs wrapped around his waist. Heero rasped and struggled for air. He wanted to do this for hours, but he was losing the inward battle for control.
He found her mouth again and bit a rough kiss against her lips. The spicy scent of her perfume caught his attention - recognizable, but different. Another time, he wanted to sample her skin, and run his tongue all over her body. Find out if she tasted as spicy sweet as she smelled.
"Mmmmm," she bit his earlobe. "I like this."
Heero groaned as her hot breath turned his blood into liquid fire. He rested his forehead on her collarbone. Heated, swirling waters towed and pulled, until his flesh boiled and his body weakened.
He lost the will to fight. To hold on. And he forgot why he would want to. 'She feels so good…' Heero hefted her hips off the mattress, changing the angle of his thrusts.
Once, twice.
He fell forward as the roiling water swept his knees. Heero crashed into her, burying his face into her shoulder. He came inside her with a hoarse cry.
He lay there, spent - her fingers slipping through pieces of his hair. Heero heaved for air; their bodies still connected. Shivering. Shaking.
Moments stole quietly past. Warm air filled his lungs. A controlled breath. His world stilled. The chaos retreated.
He raised his head, and found her eyes. A small frown. A smaller smile. She stroked her thumb over his cheek. Relena closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against his. "Heero."
He seized her mouth into a kiss. Lips soft and no longer burning. She broke away and whispered: "I love you," with a tenderness that felt fragile and real.
Heero opened his mouth, but his throat closed. Nothing came out. Pain spasmed in his chest - muscle tightening on itself. He sucked in a choking breath and pulled away. 'Don't ask me.'
"You won't say it. Will you?"
"You know." He edged to the far side of the bed. Pain subsided into the void. He hated it. "Don't you?"
"I do. But…."
"You always need words. Or to say words. And I," he held his head in his palms. "Those aren't easy words." His left hand trembled.
"They're very easy words." Her tone turned sharp. Pointed. It jabbed him in the stomach and made him bleed.
"Three, one syllable words. You've already said more words trying not to say those words." An abrupt exhale. Rustling. The mattress dipped and moved.
Would she leave? 'Don't go.' Grey hazed into his vision. The void grew wider, and held out its arms.
Warm fingers on his shoulder pulled him back.
"Why can't you just tell me you love me?" Her arms wrapped around him from behind and she nuzzled his neck.
"Because." Mind blank, his tongue tried to form words he didn't recognize. "I can't. I don't want anything to. To take you away." He pulled her hands from his chest and turned to face her. 'Don't ask. Just know.'
"Heero."
The former Marine gathered her into his embrace. He leaned into her shoulder, and crushed her against him.
'Just know.'
