Charlie had softened up to me in the past two weeks, which made me feel better.
I was still grounded but he talked to me more at least. I know I put him through shit and I hurt him, and I deserved this. I honestly deserved more, but perhaps I was already getting my fill by karma herself.
But if Charlie started talking to me, he was talking to others in the family as well.
Which kind of made me angry with him, after I found out that he had talked to Renee. She was more love struck with the idea of me and Edward getting back together. The official story was, that back wherever the Cullen's were, Edward had run away from home and gotten himself in trouble. I went to save him, and that made Carlisle realize that his kids loved Forks more than the other place, and that it truly was home for them, so he had deiced to move back, while getting me back home safely as well.
I almost gagged when my mum had called me, saying that she was so proud of me for taking care of things, as I usually did. I missed being a kid, which I recall I never could be since I had to take care of her. She was happy that I did what I did – opposite of Charlies thoughts on the situation.
"How are the Cullen's?" She asked after I explained that Edward and I were no longer an item and my mother expressed how hopefully we could stay friends.
"I… Have no idea, actually. I haven't been to the Cullen house."
"Oh…" She sounded disappointed about it "Well, you haven't seen any of them?"
Rosalie was the only one, but I couldn't tell her, since she was talking to Charlie, and I was grounded. Renee would applaud me for doing such a teenage rebellious thing, but she would also tell Charlie, so he could be the parent for her, which would probably make my grounded life longer than it needed to be.
I wondered how Rosalie was doing. I wondered if she was wearing the necklace. I blushed at the thought and didn't think why I did that. I was telling myself that it was just because she was beautiful, but I knew it wasn't. I ignored it. I knew I should be angry with her about the fact that she was the one to call Edward. Perhaps my hatred had its limits after all. Perhaps I wasn't ready for that just yet…
"Well, if you want to be friendly, you should go over and say hi, or something."
Perhaps I should say hi to Rosalie. I sure as hell wanted to but I knew that when I went to the house, I had nothing to ask or do with the Cullen family. Of course, I wanted to see only one of them but in all honesty, it was hard to just show up and do that. I had no business to do anything else there. It wasn't as if I could just bake a pie and come over. Maybe I should hunt a deer or something?
At school, everyone had kind of come to terms with me and the Cullen's not being so tight anymore. Thank god!
Of course I heard a couple of rumors, about my fall out with the Cullen's. Some of them were funny and if they wanted to believe them then I didn't care. The only person who hadn't really asked me about them was Angela, and I was grateful. I didn't communicate with anyone else, anyway. Edward and Alice kept their distance as well, exception for saying hello, how are you and goodbye sometimes.
But this day. It was weird. Edward was almost my second shadow, following me around. The thing that made it weirder was that he wasn't even trying to talk to me or anything. He tried to act like it was normal, when I would give him a look, but it wasn't.
Alice was nowhere to be seen.
By lunch time, my adrenaline was spiking because my gut was telling me something was off.
That's why I decided then to speak with Edward.
"Hey," I started turning around, catching him off guard "What's happening?" I asked him, before we could walk in the cafeteria.
He scowled, kind of surprising me "I thought you weren't talking to me."
That just told me that there really was something happening if he was getting defensive. I was looking at him, hoping that he was going to tell, but he wasn't saying anything. He wasn't even looking me in the eyes, opting to look above my head. It gave me a flashback to when he dumped me in the forest.
"So you're just going to lie again. That always does everyone some good." I scowled at him. Perhaps it was low to remind him of what had happened after my birthday, seeing as he just wanted to keep me safe, but I was done playing around with him, and letting him gaslight me.
He didn't break though, so I just decided that I would go to the Cullen house after school. I would have maximum of two hours before Charlie would start to wonder if I was breaking my house arrest or not. I would go now but I wouldn't make it back in time for class, and I didn't want Charlie to be upset.
For the rest of the day, I had hoped that Alice wouldn't tell Edward I was coming to the house and thanking, by the end of the day, to whomever was listening to my prayers, since it looked to be true – it seemed that Edward didn't know about my descision. I was golden by the end of the day, no one trying to stop me or restrict me in any way.
I started my car and when I didn't turn to the way I would usually turn if I was going home, Edwards car showed up in my review mirror right away. I wanted to laugh, when I saw him in my rearview mirror, he looked so pissed off. I bet he wished that he would have told me something when I asked him because I was going to get to know myself what was happening now. Knowing him, he would be wishing that he could read my mind rather than tell me the truth. I don't think I would have accepted anything Edward would have told me truthfully – I didn't trust him anymore. I thought I didn't trust him before but now I was sure. Reminder – never trust Edward. He lies and he thinks he knows what's best, without asking anyone else.
I thought that Edward would stop me somehow, but he didn't. I didn't think he wanted to risk startling me in a car, while I was driving, accidentally causing a car wreck, and changing me sooner, in panic.
Anyhow, I manage to drive up to the Cullen house in one piece, which was the first part of my plan. The second part was to get to bottom of the thing that was happening. I trusted my gut feeling on this.
As I was walking up the stairs, Carlisle opened the doors for me "Bella. It's lovely to see you." Was it? I didn't think so. His smile looked like a grimace or as if he was in pain but didn't want to show it. If I wouldn't have known that he was a vampire and I didn't know he wouldn't be able to feel pain, I would say he was having a massive headache. Maybe vampires could get migraines. Carlisle seemed the kind of vampire that a migraine would happen to.
"Hey Carlisle." I said as I walked passed him into the house, uninvited, as if I was still part of the family.
"Hey Bella! You look good. What's up?" Emmett came in, smiling, happy to see me. Wow, at least one of them was happy to see me. He didn't hug me or anything, and I was grateful for that. I was still wary of all of them. Just as I thought about it, I wondered about Rosalie. I had to be angrier with her… But in fact I was less angry and more forgiving. I was wondering what Rosalie was doing. Wait, it didn't matter now.
"Thanks Emmett. Well…" I made my way to sit down on the couch "Tell me what's up." I shrugged, trying an easy tactic "I know somethings happening. I think I should know, seeing as I'm part of it… Usually. If it's not about me, if it's a family thing, I'll go. But if it's not – I deserve to know."
"She's right." Jasper walked in "If we're going to keep her in the dark, we might fuck up. She might help as well."
"No!" Edward roared at him, making me flinch.
"Edward. Calm down." Jasper rolled his eyes at him. It would have made me laugh, but I was starting to get worried what was happening. Jasper sighed looking at him, then looking at me "Victoria was back. She was running around Forks, but she wasn't entering the town. Then again, we followed her close enough so perhaps that scared her off. The thing is she isn't deciding on anywhere to go. It doesn't help that she is fast, so it's hard to get her." Jasper was looking at me assessing probably how I was handling it.
Truthfully it pleased me, and it calmed me down. I still had million questions, but as long as it wasn't Edward, they would tell me. Well, some of them anyway.
"Where's everyone else?" I asked. We were missing the female part of the clan.
"Alice is out, concentrating, trying to see if a decision is being made by Victoria." Jasper was still the one answering me. I had to note that he was the one to tell me things I had asked for. So, I could probably get information from him from now on. Good.
"Where's Rosalie?" I blushed "… And Esme? Where, umm where are they?" I felt my cheeks go red a bit, at how I almost sounded. I never had asked them where she was, or was very interested in her but truthfully, I was.
Jasper squinted his eyes at me, feeling all that I wanted to keep to myself.
He answered "They're out hunting."
I nodded.
I was kind of disappointed. I had wanted to see Rosalie and maybe even talk to her, ask about the change, if she wanted me to tell that. I slowly got up, nodding still.
"How do we handle it?"
"You're not handling anything." Emmett laughed, while Jasper was still kind of making a face at me "But we will tear her apart and burn her to pieces." He growled looking far in the distance, as if he could see the future himself.
"If you catch her." I laughed, making his eyes soften once again.
I turned to Jasper "Please, keep me updated."
I got up to leave and then Rosalie and Esme came in, and I stopped in my tracks. I had no idea why I had butterflies in my stomach. I was so happy to see her, that was probably it. I smiled automatically.
"Bella!" Esme was the first one to respond, "How are you?"
I loved Esme, somewhere deep deep deep inside me but she was irritating me for some reason "I'd be better if I had known what was happening." I breathed in to calm down "You can't keep me in the dark about the things that involve me. I don't want to die before I get to die." I looked around the room "I mean this to everyone." My eyes landed on Rosalie, who was smirking a little.
"I told you Edward. She has to know." She responded. She was angry with him that much was obvious.
I glared at him and shook my head. What was it with him? I know, in comparison to him I was way way younger, him being over a hundred and all that but he wasn't acting like someone older… He truly was a seventeen-year-old boy, forever frozen, with his make-believe family. I looked around the room, at his siblings and parents, and my stomach dropped at the sudden realization.
I didn't belong here and I didn't belong here with them. And I won't belong, with them after I'm changed as well. I was stuck with them and they were stuck with me, until the point I am changed and my new born years. They owned me that much. It didn't mean that I was a welcome addition to the family.
I was going to be more like the accidental pet from the shelter…
I was trying being strong, but I got that stupid feeling in my chest again - that if I stayed here another minute I would start to cry. The feeling was unbelievably sad.
"Bella?" Jasper was starting to come forward, worried written all over his face.
I just turned away and left, running, quiet literally down the hall and out the door to my truck. Fuck this. I didn't need this or them. Why the hell had I even come to Forks? To live this nightmare of an existence? I didn't deserve this!
When I got to the car, Rosalie was there.
