Sitting next to Rosalie made me jumpy. Not because she was a vampire, not because I had to be mad at her, but because this time I was so aware that I was crushing on her… Hard! I tried to push some distance before between us because of it. But being with her together now, felt like no time had passed at all. It was easy being around her. I couldn't believe I once thought that she was the bitchiest from the family… In actuality she was the truest person I have ever met.

It was also a tad bit weird being out in the open with her, as Tylers party was going on in the background. Parties were weird for me anyway but with a vampire - weirder. It was our graduation party and I had brought Rosalie with me.

"You seem nervous. More than usual." Rose commented calmly, as she looked me over, with her golden eyes.

I laughed nervously "Yeah. Maybe. I don't know." I scratched my head.

God Bella! Don't ACT like you have a crush on her. I mean, I do but I don't want it to be out there, God forbit… I don't think I would live it down is she would know, not that I was going to be alive for long. But I didn't want to spend eternity crushing after Rosalie, living with her and Emmett, looking at how much in love they were.

Then again, I don't remember ever seeing them being in love per say… I have seen Emmett be an amazing support system. And I didn't want to knock that down. They seemed like true best friends, and I wasn't going to get in between them. That is what partners should be.

"Why would you be nervous?" Rosalie asked, as we sat down on Tylers couch.

It was something else to see my classmates drunk, and partying it up. It was something new to my experience. But it was also something new to be at a house party. I was never really interested in them before, not that there were any in Forks.

"I'm not used to parties. The last one, didn't quite end well." I tried to wiggle out of the real reason why I was nervous, trying to lie I was thinking of my eighteen-birthday party.

She grimaced, and shrugged "Yeah, that was a party all right."

I was about to say that it was better to be together with her now, but I couldn't get it out in time.

"Wow! Rosalie Hale!" Lauren came up to us. The jealousy was already deductible in her drunken, high-pitched voice "I didn't know you were going to be here. Stealing the show again." she kind of laughed but it was way too obvious she really meant it. It was getting kind of old for everybody always being jealous and treating Rose differently because of her beauty. Was I doing the same?

"She doesn't have to steal the show, if you give her the stage." I couraged up and stood up to Lauren. I've had about enough snarky commentary from her. Roslie whipped her head so fast in my direction, it didn't look human, but I don't think anyone saw. Even if it did, I don't think they would think anything about it since mostly everyone was drunk, and would think they just imagined it.

"Wow, Bella found a voice." she slow clapped as if this was Mean Girls or something "Only took you 'till graduation." she snickered "Hey everybody! Bella finally speaks up!"

"Yeah, maybe I would have done it sooner, but it looks like you can't shut up."

I was shaking inside. Hell, I was shaking outside as well. She was right though. I was speaking up now. But I wasn't going to die without speaking my truth. To hell with dying quietly.

What she didn't know was that I didn't have a long time to do that. So might as well make everyone remember that Bella Swan wasn't only a wallflower. She was more than just that.

Everyone 'oooh'ed my comeback, and Lauren got visibly red, uncomfortable, and threatened.

I stood up and Rosalie followed, smiling, not saying anything.

"Lauren. There is no surprise that people don't like you. You won't get far in life with being mean, and bitchy. You'll have fake friends, maybe even faker than you are. I know you're hurting, and I know you're scared. We all are. But you won't find true happiness until you move on." I said and moved out of her way, leaving her stunned.

I know it might have been a lot, and I won't change anything about her personality, but I do hope, in a weird way that now when after high school has ended, she will find happiness, and will stop being a bitch. I really hoped that for her.

"So, Bella…" Rosalie spoke up when we left the house "That was something. How do you feel?" She asked me cautious, well aware I was acting out of my element.

"Honestly, better and worse." I shrugged "So much for partying when you're a human."

There was some silence from Rosalie "Do you want to party while you're still human, or is it something that was told you should want?"

I thought about it.

"The lather, I think… I don't think I'll miss out on it, but I guess I'll never know if I don't try it." I looked at Rose, feeling like my midlife crisis hit me now "How do you know, that you'll miss something?"

She smiled "You don't. Only when you can't have it anymore." She spoke the truth.

"Okay, what is it that you would have done?" I asked, putting my hand on my hip, outside of her car.

She looked away "I would have had a family… That's what I miss the most. Every other human experience you can have as a vampire. Hunger will be different. Love… will be different. Even going out to party is different."

I got visibly sad then. Thinking that no matter how hard I try now, I will never have a human experience. Just death in the end.

I think Rosalie saw my mood visibly get sour as she, suddenly cheerfully said "Let's go to Port Angeles! I owe you a drink. You need to live a little no matter what I say."

The way to Part Angeles was fast, as we took Rosalie's car. For once in my life, I didn't mind driving fast. As we were traveling outside of Forks Rosalie was talking about the speed of her car, how she had accelerated the engine for the car to be able to go faster and smoother. She seemed so easy going and carefree whilst talking about something that she really liked. I can't say I was really invested in cars, but I liked to have a carefree talk with Rosalie, and I loved watching her talk with passion.

I wish she would talk about me that way.

BELLA! Calm down! Jeez I need to relax with this crush thing. Rosalie was just a friend. I needed to get a hold of it or else I will spill. It already felt like I was spilling from the sides.

When we arrived in Port Angeles the streets were filled with people. The air was warmer than usual, and people were enjoying the end of school and the beginning of summer. Rosalie parked her car, and we were out of it fast, and soon we were part of the busy people on the streets.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked in an amused tone, laughter almost part of it. My mood taking a 180 and making me actually excited for tonight.

She looked at me and smiled "We are going to get you drunk." She laughed and I laughed with her, her amusement catching me as well.

"I'm only 18 and I don't think you're even 21 technically." I pointed out, still in a good mood.

"All technicalities that no one needs to know. I get what I want one way or another, and if I want you to have some alcohol then that's that. You are graduating. And you will be a normal 18-year-old for one night. Everyone needs to get stupid drunk once." She stomped her foot.

She said it with such conviction I believed that she would be the one to pour me a drink if no one else would.

"Did you get stupid drunk when you were a human?" I asked, mesmerized by her.

She actually giggled before continuing "Yes. I used to have a friend, Vera, and we really loved champagne. So much so that one night I was not able to walk home and needed to stay the night. My father was not happy, and neither was my mother – worried sick. But I cherish the time I had with Vera." She said with love in her eyes for her long-lost friend.

"I wish you could drink with me." I said as we walked into one of the bars.

"I will. But just to look normal." I didn't think about what she will have to do later to get it out of her system, but I just nodded and was happy that technically I won't be drinking alone.

We got the bar and the bartender looked at Rose and then at me and then back to Rose. He was about to speak up but then Rosalie smiled and said a soft "Hi."

He blinked a couple of times and said Hi back. Oh no. I know what this was going to be.

"We are out of town, I was hoping you can show me a good time?" She bit her lip.

I looked at her in shock. I could not believe what she was doing! I couldn't believe I was witnessing what she was doing! I wanted to laugh but kept it to myself.

The poor bartender had no chance. He just smiled with half of his face and nodded.

"What do you recommend for me and my friend here?" She looked at him through his lashes.

"Ummm a lot of girls like vodka shots." She stuttered and stumbled on his words as he tried to seem very cool in her eyes.

"Then give us six shots please," She said as she put her money down, much more than was needed "and keep the change." She winked.

It took the bartender a second to wake up from her glamouring but when he did, he was fast to take the money and fast to pour the shots.

"Isn't six kind of excessive?" I asked Rosalie looking at the many shot glasses we had in front of us.

"I thought it would be better to get the next shot glasses before I need to trouble the bartender again. His poor heart won't take much, I'm afraid." She smiled a sly smile.

"Ok so how do we do this?" I laughed. It felt good to be carefree with Rosalie, and not think of my end.

"I think you just take it and drown it, like this." She took the shot and drank all of it.

I did the same, throwing my head back as I took the shot.

Oh God! The burn in my mouth was something else and not really pleasant. I wish I had something to drink on top of it. How could people drink this? Was being drunk that fun?

My face must have said how much I really didn't like it as Rosalie laughed. Suddenly I didn't mind the stupid drink as long as Rose was laughing.

"Take another, take another!" She clapped.

I've never seen her like this, so I did just that. I took another one and drank it quickly. God it was worse the second time around.

"Wow you actually did it!" She was surprised "I don't think I know so much about you anymore Bella Swan. You keep surprising me." She pushed me a little and I was grinning.

I smiled at her feeling the only nice thing she shot gave - warmth.

"I have some secrets too you know." I said jokingly, feeling a bit lightheaded.

"Oh yeah? Like what?" She questioned me.

"You will need more shots than that for me to spill!"

She leaned in and smiled "Then drink up."

And just like the bartender - I had no chance. I took my third shot. I was well aware Rosalie was not taking shots and there were two more on the counter.I knew they would be mine, not that I wished that they were. It felt exciting to have a drink. Well, not a drink, but a shot.

We laughed and joked and had a good time. I took Rosalie's two shots that she had left out and even more two on top of that. My head was spinning, and I felt light as a feather. I didn't think about anything that was going to happen to me, and even if that thought sneaked in - it didn't linger and for now I didn't care about it. I only cared about this moment with Rosalie. She was something special. I wish I could tell her how I felt. She deserved to know.

"So how about those secrets, Bella?" Rosalie laughed asking me this jokingly.

"What do you want to know?" I said wiggling my eyebrows. I felt so free! I could tell her everything!

"Tell me something you haven't said to anyone." She said suddenly serious.

I was confused by her change of voice, and I reacted "Rose, I will tell you anything. I trust you. Even though I hate your family, I don't hate you." I said truthfully. Perhaps I should be more careful what I say but I couldn't stop myself. It was like I was drinking truth shots.

"How so?" She asked, back to smiling.

It was so obvious, that I had to tell her "Because I like you!"

"I like you too Bella." She put her hand on top of my shoulder and tapped.

I rolled my eyes. God didn't she understand that I didn't mean it like THAT. But I meant it in a more special way. In a way that would need me to be drunk to say.

"No! I have a crush on you!" I almost yelled at her.

"Oh." Her hand dropped.

AN - hey everyone. Thank you for baring with me for my long away time. I am planning to finish this story, so I hope you'll stay with me. Thank you 3