Set after HBP Ch29 The Phoenix Lament.

Dead

Dumbledore is dead. Dumbledore is dead. She should be thinking about this, because Dumbledore is dead and a world without him is a chaotic and dangerous one. It is unprecedented. What are the Order without Dumbledore? Dumbledore is dead.

She should be thinking about Harry. How Harry watched him die. How Harry has lost yet another father figure. How scared and bewildered Harry must have been. How the Order had failed yet again to protect him. They couldn't defend him when Dumbledore was alive and was with him, so what chance do they have now? He's determined and fierce and he knows that it's his neck on the line, but he's sixteen years old. And now he's been left with whatever information Dumbledore gave him to use to defeat the darkest wizard of all time.

Tonks should be thinking about the battle on the tower. Curses everywhere, Amycus Carrow taunting Ginny, the terror on Ron's face, Snape charging past them all, the killing curse missing Remus by an inch, the cramped the stairwell and the sweat, yelping and swearing as curses flashed through the dark.

She should be thinking about how much Harry's friends risk for him. These teenagers are incredible. Ginny dodging the Carrows' curses again and again- she must have been exhausted but she was fighting for her life.

She should be thinking about Remus and how embarrassed he must be by her shouting like that in front of everybody. It was selfish and rude and unnecessary, and humiliated them both. He always hated people knowing about them, and now she'd blurted it out in front of the kids and flipping Professor McGonagall, over Bill's sickbed of all places. Remus is going to be so cross with her. He's going to think she's even more of a child than he does already.

She should be thinking of handsome and brave Bill; captain of the crew of Weasley boys, Egyptian curse-breaker, Charlie's cool big brother who got Head Boy. She should be thinking of him twitching on the floor while Greyback clawed at him, blood on both their faces. And in the hospital wing, looking gaunt and frail. Madam Pomfrey had done her best to heal his injuries but there's going to be bad scarring.

She should be thinking about Molly and Arthur, who have been so kind to her the last few months. Disasters have happened to their children again and again- Ginny and the Chamber, Ron being poisoned and now Bill, on top of Arthur being bitten by the snake last year.

She should be thinking about Fleur, who didn't care about werewolf bites either. ("Contamination", Remus had called it, as if it was medical and not a violent attack. As if being a werewolf makes him dirty and poisonous). Fleur had snapped at Mrs Wealsey and taken the ointment and insisted that Bill's scars were a mark of bravery. She had snarled that she was beautiful enough for both of them and that it was a good job Bill was marrying a Frenchwoman because they're better at cooking rare meat than the English. It was difficult to tell if she was joking about these, although Tonks doubts it. Fleur isn't much of a joker and the moment had been filled with pride and devotion.

She should be thinking of Bill and she is, sort of. She's thinking about his bloodied face and his scars and how he lay still and battered in his hospital bed. She's thinking about how if a non-transformed werewolf can that to a man in his twenties, what an Earth could the real thing do to a four-year-old boy? Did kid that age understand of what was happening or was it only pain and terror? What was the bleeding and scaring like on a body of that size? How had they healed? And how could anybody, anybody do that to a child? Remus' scar is a mark not of his bravery but of Greyback's hatred and revenge. How had Remus managed months of living the same space as the man- the animal- who had done that to him? Bitten him as a tiny child and given his this curse which has ruined his life? Tonks has never wanted to be with him more. She needs to be holding him tight in her arms, and if he doesn't want her anymore then she doesn't care- somebody needs to protect and care for and love him.

He was four.

Until this moment, Tonks realises, she did not truly understand what evil was.