First of all, thank you so much for liking chapter 3.

And for the heads up, this story is quite dark. Well... I am planning on doing that with somewhat comedy in between so we can all laugh with Gary Sage. Poor Gary.

By the way, I'm not proud of this chapter. However... I'm really excited to write chapter 5. I have a feeling that I'm going to enjoy writing chapter 5.


I didn't have time for depression due to schoolwork, hero-work, and son-work. After downing that bottle of whiskey I was grounded for a week by dad who was quite furious for underaged drinking, spewing conspiracy theories about company manufactured alcohol that somehow involved a dead body. Couldn't remember the details though… I was drunk.

Anyways, dad found me knocked out in our apartment, leaning on a toilet while singing 'Won't you be my neighbor' with the beautiful lyrics terribly butchered and edited.

Forgive me Fred Rogers.

"Gary! I'm ho— Gary…? GARY! GARY ARE YOU ALRI—"

"I've always vanted to wiv in a houfe, just like yoursssss~ When you're not at home… I'll break innnnnn~!"

"My god, Gary! I raised you better than this! Drinking whiskey? Especially this brand?! Seriously?! Do you have any idea what those sick bastards put in their recipe to make these drinks?"

"Hehehehehe… sowwy daddy… *sniffile* I just… I just… *sad Comedian noises*"

"Don't try to emotionally manipulate me Gary. I'm your father and I know exactly what you're planning"

"Gee, that didn't work?"

"Quiet so Gary. Anyways… I'm very disappointed in you. If you truly wanted to become intoxicated, you had to tell me! Not drink some… some of that disgusting, horrible stuff!"

"Wheeeeeee~!"

"NO GARY! THAT'S NOT A DOOR, THAT'S A WINDOW!"

I do own an apology not only to mister Fred Rogers, but also to my dad whom I disappointed him very much. That is why we're making homemade edible rice alcohol that doesn't contain whatever bad ingredients dad mentioned.

After a week of grounding and no wifi(an evil punishment that went a bit too far) I was free. Then there was a tiny incident where a new member joined us. The person that introduced this new member to the team, was dad, who took his time and effort to search for a magic user who fit the criteria to join the team of teenagers.

Getting Zatanna was an option one could consider, however, Zatara was being an overprotective daddy and refused the Question's offer.

Anyways, back to Raven and how our Team first met her.

After stopping some robberies that were done by ridiculous people wearing ridiculous tights, I came back only to see Batman and the Question with a girl wearing a long-ass dark blue cloak that covered her entire body.

"Team, meet your new team member" Spoke Batman as he approached us.

"Whoa… we have another member already?" Spoke Kid Flash as he eyed the newcomer up and down. "Wonder who this dude is…"

"It's a girl KF" I replied, chewing on my energy bar. "Look at the body structure. Everybody could tell that it's a girl. With the exception of Robin of course"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Growled Robin with annoyance as he turned his head to look up at me.

"Nothing" I spoke innocently as I deliberately turned my head away as I whistled innocently. "Maybe it's an implication that you're short and cute"

"I'm not cute!"

"You kind of are" Spoke Artemis as Miss Martian giggled.

"Oh come on! Cut me some slack here!" Yelled Robin, clearly confused whether to feel happy that the girls find him cute, or frustrated by the fact that cute was something far from being masculine. "Stop humiliating me when we have our new teammate!"

"Eh, we need some drama to keep us alive Wonderboy" I said, crunching on another bite of the bar. "So! Who's our shy newcomer?"

"I'm not shy" Muttered the teen as her hood slipped back. "I'm just used to having my hood on at all times"

"..."

"Uhhh… dude? You're staring"

"Grrk… krrk!"

"Comedian…? COMEDIAN! He's choking!" Yelled the Question as he jumped into action as he got behind me to pump out the large piece of energy bar that was choking me.

But at the moment, I didn't give two shits of the fact that I was nearly dying from an energy bar. All I cared about was the girl in front of me. I didn't care if I were in some kind of shitshow for entertainment for those who read this, I didn't care if there were millions who could read my thoughts, I didn't care because right in front of me was one of my childhood crushes: Raven.

"So much for first interactions…" Muttered Raven as her short dark blue hair swished around her pale skin. "Does this usually happen a lot?"

"With him around, yes" Spoke Kid Flash scratching his head. "But it's the first time he nearly died when meeting a new teammate. The first time a new teammate came along, he went full on racist"

"Racist?" Asked Raven with her eyebrows raised.

"More like disliking a certain set of people with specific abilities. Long story" Spoke Superboy snorting. "I've never seen anybody so scared of mind readers"

"I'm sure he has a reason" Spoke Miss Martian with a kind smile, although it was slightly strained.

"Hey, looks like Comedian finally figured out to breathe" Muttered Robin with a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"*gasp* I'm so sorry. First time I nearly died by choking on an energy bar. I'm Comedian by the way, nice to meet you"

"Nice to meet you… Comedian" She spoke, slightly reluctant to make physical contact.

"Dude, what's wrong with you?" Asked Kid Flash with an annoyed expression. "I've never seen you so excited in your life"

"I think I met the girl of my dreams" I said breathlessly. "I feel so happy and blessed…"

"... that's a first" Commented Artemis, clearly amused by my words. "At least he goes straight into the point instead of dancing around like a certain someone"

"Why… are you staring at me?" Asked Kid Flash, smiling awkwardly.

"Wow… that's straightforward of you" Murmured Raven as she pulled back her hood over her head. "I'm so pleased to meet you"

"Even that hint of sarcasm hits right on my kokoro…" I said grabbing my heart. "Oh my, I'm having a heart attack"

Everybody scoffed at my cheesy romantic gestures until I called out to them once again.

"No, seriously. I'm having a heart attack"

Everyone's jaw fell off, including Batman and Robin as my knees hit the ground.

"Delete my browser history" I gasped before falling face-forward.

"COMEDIAN!" Screamed my dad as his expressionless face tried to kiss me.


Then on September 4th, shit hit the fan during a mission.

Thankfully, I was the only one who made it out unscatched, but the situation was bad, I mean… really really bad.

It all started out with me being a dick for the thirty fifth time and refusing to be connected through a telepathic link.

"Hell no I'm going to let somebody inside my head!"

"Comedian, I promise you that I will never read your mind" Spoke Miss Martian trying her best to calm me down. "We've known each other for three months. You know I'll never do something like—"

"Nu-uh. I'm opening up to nobody but myself. Keep your sexy mental probings away from my brains"

"Was that sentence directed at her or at me?" Asked Raven with her passive annoyed expression.

"... both?"

"Is he… really okay?" Whispered Artemis to Kid Flash and Robins. Unlike the two boys, she seemed genuinely concerned by the fact that I came back after having a heart attack.

"Eh, my intuition is telling me the guy would survive every major thing. Heck, after being tortured by Klarion, he walks it off as if it was nothing. Armageddon, Doomsday, Apocalypse, Zombie Outbreak, yadda yadda, those scenarios won't kill him for sure" Spoke Robin as he observed me with great humor. "It's the daily things that'll get him. Just like swallowing a protein bar, getting lovesick, or maybe even dishwashing, who knows?"

"Why are you so scared of this?" Asked Raven exasperated. "It's just a telepathic link—"

"Don't care, minds off!" I yelled.

"Alright… someone's definitely hiding something from us" Mumbled Raven as she pulled the hood tighter around her head.

"To be fair, we really don't want to know what he keeps in his head" Said Superboy to Raven. "Trust me, we've seen the things that come out of his mind. It's not worth knowing"

"Since you refuse to free my people~ All through the land of Egypt~ I send a pestilence and plague Into your house~ wait, wrong song. Sorry, the desert just reminded me of Egypt. Heheh"

"Are you guys sure he's mentally stable enough to be on this team…?" Raven asked everyone.

"Believe it or not, he is quite good at observing and deducing. He has saved us from trouble and harm more than once with his sharp eyes and… fractured mind I suppose…" Spoke Aqualad giving me a disapproved look.

"You know what's the most insane part?" Spoke Robin adding his two cents in. "He's second-in-command, thanks to Aqualad over here"

"Why did I sign up for this…" Moaned Raven as she facepalmed. "Whatever, let's just get over with this…"

Then things went up in flames, fast.

We were illegally investigating a power surge that erupted in the lands of Bialya and everyone but me were on their telepathic link.

Then, Miss Martian volunteered to go into incognito mode and snoop around the scientists that first got to the source of power to study it. Without caution or paranoia, I didn't say anything against that idea.

Fucking hell, I should've said something.

Fucking hell, I should've made a comment on how our positioning was way off as most of us were splitted up, trying our best to watch out for Bialyan soldiers who were working for their dictator.

Fucking hell, I should've brought more of that rice wine with me.

Luckily, I was paired with Raven to patrol the sandy lands to look out for Bialyan soldiers or hostile forces. Although I would've loved to talk with her, I wasn't dense to figure out she wasn't that comfortable around me and talking was something she avoided as much if possible. So, I respected my crush's wishes and calmly sneaked around as she floated beside me.

Then, she started to scream.

"What the fuck!" I yelled as I jumped up at her levitating form as I wrapped my hand around her mouth, trying my best to prevent her from her screams being heard by others. "Shhhh! Raven! Stop screaming and chill! Calm down and I'll let you go! Calm down! Bitch be cool!"

However, she wasn't listening at all. Withering in pain and screaming at the top of her lungs, there was no way for me to contact the team since I refused telepathic communication and the radio had to be silent at all times considering where we were. The only way for me to group up with the others was to drag the screaming girl, hand still over her mouth, over to where the Team set up the equipment we needed for the mission.

Problem was, there was nobody there and it was infested with Bialyan soldiers.

"Sorry about this, but you'll appreciate it later" I whispered and I wrapped my arms around Raven's neck, blocking air from entering her lungs as she passed out almost instantly. Then, I took off to search for the Team.


"Who are you?"

Personally, I found the princess holding position to be harder. Thus, I carried Raven on my back while I searched for the Team. Problem is, I didn't anticipate that Raven would wake up and attempt to murder me immediately.

Feeling her tense, I was about to ask her if she was awake, but I couldn't say a thing as something started to choke my throat. Apparently, Raven solidified her dark magic to create a badly shaped lasso that wrapped around my throat. Was it because I have experienced Klarion's magical torture that I'm feeling so much fear from the inky black magic rather than the fact that Raven's emitting her incredibly scary aura?

Whether that is the case, I don't know for sure. But if there is one thing I know for sure, I pissed on my pants.

Thankfully I was wearing an adult-sized diaper(after Klarion's torture, I found out that I crapped my pants so I chose to wear them just in case things went to shit) and asphyxiationn was the perfect excuse for pissing with my pants on. At least I didn't shit on them.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, I'm about to die unless I say something.

How the fuck am I supposed to say anything when she's blocking my windpipe?! Well… I would have to resolve by using my hand to signal her to loosen up a bit.

I frantically tapped the black tendrils signalling her that I give up and she let me go, allowing me to fall down on the ground. However, the dark magic that kept pouring out of her hands didn't seem to be a friendly sign. Thus, I held up my hands signaling that I wouldn't do anything.

"W-where am I?" Spoke Raven with a slight tremble in her voice. "Who are you…? Why am I…? Why am I here?"

Oh son of a bitch. This fucking sucks. Memory loss? Seriously? In a mission in the lands where Queen Bee is ruling/dictating? I really had to find the others to convince her that she was part of the Team. More witnesses grant more credibility, and if I find Miss Martian, I hope she can recover Raven's memory loss.

"Hi…" I spoke gulping, half-scared out of my mind and half-aroused by my waifu choking me like a bitch. "I don't exactly know what happened, but it seems like you lost your memories. Today is September 4th, 2010. What can you remember?"

"Wh-what…? No… that's impossible… that's… I'm…? What am I wearing?" Spoke Raven as she glanced down at her clothes. Good news, she looks like she calmed down enough to maintain that calm personality of hers. As much as I enjoy seeing her showing off some emotion, I know that her powers are heavily influenced by her emotions. Raven had gone through immense training to maintain tranquility, but waking up from a stranger's back and being in the middle of the desert would surely send anybody, even Raven, into confusion and other negative emotions.

Hopefully she doesn't get stressed out and summon her dad by accident.

"You're looking great though" I spoke stupidly, earning a glare from the already stressed teenager as the red gem thingy on her forehead glowed briefly. Okay. That was really stupid of me.

"Nevermind that… who the heck are you anyways?" Asked Raven as she now stared at me with slightly narrowed eyes. "No wait… September 4th?! It's already been six months?!"

"Okay, now that's a lot of damage…" I muttered as I still kept my hands in the air. "By the way, last time I checked, you were doing fine for the last few days"

"What do you mean by 'last few days'?"

"We only met for the first time a few days ago" I spoke truthfully since there wasn't anything to hide except for some personal secrets. "You joined a team of heroes who are in their teens. I don't know the exact reason you joined, but you apparently did"

"..."

"Can't you… you know, recover those 6 month of missing memories? You are a magician after all"

"Just because I know how to use magic doesn't mean that I know every single trick in the book" She spoke.

"So you don't possess the skills of remembering what you forgot?"

"I do, it's just that I don't know if it'll work"

"Great! We'll give it a shot. What's the problem?"

"I'll be defenseless"

"I've got your back"

"I'm talking about you, you idiot. How can I possibly trust you?"

Well… fair point. If our situation were reversed, I would've shot her at least two times before I asked the questions. I'm just as paranoid as that.

"I mean… if what you're saying is true, I can look into your memories"

"NO!" I screamed like a bitch, shocking Raven as she flinched hard. "NO MENTAL PROBING!"

"... so you are hiding something from me aren't you?"

"What?! No! I mean… yes, of course, there're personal memories inside my brain that I prefer nobody knows"

"Fine then" Grumbled Raven as I could feel our trust break apart.

That being said, what can I tell her to lower her guard so that she could focus on recovering her memories?

"Can't you use your magic and bind me while you try and restore your memories?" I asked cautiously since I had no idea how magic worked.

"You want me to multitask?" Asked Raven with a single eyebrow raised.

"Hey, I don't know how magic works okay?" I said with an exasperated look just like hers. "... well this a risky move, but how about making me sleep?"

"I don't know how to do that"

"Oh come on!" I yelled. "You can make portals, black tentacles, use telekinesis, create magic shields, but you can't put a person into sleep?!"

"... I never learned how to do that…" Muttered Raven as she hid her face in her hood.

"Fuck me… we're doomed"

"Hey, just because I didn't get my memories, doesn't mean we are doomed" Snapped Raven as her eyes narrowed again.

"Oh, I wasn't talking about that," I said as my right hand, still in the air pointed directly at a platoon of soldiers marching towards us. "I was talking about that"

Raven turned around and gasped as she caught sight of them, but it was too late. They spotted us and they were running towards us while yelling in their radios that they found the intruders.

Alright, I see three options.

"Alright" I spoke to Raven, getting her attention. "I see three options. a) You invest a little trust in me and we fight off those noobs. b) You ditch me and find the others or just gtfo out of here. c) We both get out of here"

Sighing, Raven outstretched her hands as her hands and a black dome was creepily formed around us. The black substance of the dome looked like mist, but at the same time it looked so solid that I could grasp it with my fingers. It was so cool…

Before I knew it, the dome dissolved, leaving Raven and myself in a…

"Is this a forest?" I asked, bewildered by the sudden change of settings.

"You told me to get us out of there and I did that. I'm positive about those… soldiers wouldn't reach a place like this"

"Can you take us back?" I asked.

"Why would I do that?" Spoke Raven tilting her head in confusion. "We just escaped from a bunch of hostile people with guns and you want us to go back in there?"

Oh right. Memory loss. Fuck.

"If you remembered, you'll know why we need to go back there" I said.

"Like I said, how could I trust you to— wait"

Oh boy. I really don't like that little glint of mischief in her eyes that showed for barely one nanosecond.

"I do have a spell to make you sleep"

"Really?! That's great!"

That's what I said before her black inky substance covered a large branch lying on the floor. Then the branch levitated and flew straight at my face at two times the speed of Babe Ruth's baseball. It was a spell alright. A spell that was physical.

Conclusion: I was knocked out.

I just hope she doesn't poke around with my memories.


I woke sometime later, but judging by my shadow casted out by the sun, I can tell that it has been a little more than an hour.

"Oh. Good. You're awake" Came the monotonous sexy voice of Raven as she levitated her body downwards to face me eye to eye.

"Judging by your reaction, you didn't seem to have probed me" I commented dryly as I dusted myself up before wincing from the pain coming from my head. "And you seem to have regained at least the recent memories"

"I did, although there are huge holes here and there" Spoke Raven as her eyebrows raised slightly. "What made you think I didn't take a look inside your memory?"

"You're looking sane" I answered simply.

"Wow… maybe it'll be better not knowing what goes inside your brain after all" Spoke Raven, genuinely.

"That's for the best" I chirped as I dusted off my clothes. "By the way, is there even a limit in your teleportation magic?"

"It's not teleportation" Sighed Raven. "I simply go through dimensions that allow me to shorten up the distance—"

"Alright, alright I get the point! You can go almost anywhere in the world huh?"

"As long as I know the place, yeah" Spoke Raven as she nodded. "Anyways, we better get back quick. We have to find the rest of the Team"

With those words, we didn't waste our time to teleport(I'm still going to call it teleport despite her flimsy explanation) back to the sandy dunes of Bialya. Problem was, neither of us thought that the Bialyan soldiers would be stationed exactly where we took off.

"C'EST LA VIE!" I screamed as I pumped Sasha as the shotgun shot out a smokescreen that covered us up, crossing my fingers that they understood french.

Hopefully, I'll survive th— oh fuck, I just got shot in my bulletproof crotch armor.


I hate sand.

I now know the true reason why Darth Vader hated Tatooine. Sure the true reason is because his childhood got fucked up in every way possible and his mom was murdered, but the main reason for his dislike of Tatooine would be sand.

Fuck you sand! Fuck you Gaara! Fuck you Crocodile! Fuck you Flint Marko!

"Who are those people…?" Muttered Raven as she drifted in the air, far from the sand reaching into the insides of her boots.

"Did I say that out loud?" I asked, wincing.

"You most certainly did" She said as I winced even more. "And here I thought you were the paranoid one"

"I am paranoid," I said, scratching the back of my head. "It's just that I'm bored… and out of my mind…"

Because of those fucking Bialyan soldiers, my GPS system was ruined. Therefore, I had to rely on instinct and memory to find the spot where we set up our gear. Unfortunately, it was like finding a needle in a shitstorm. It would take immense luck to… holy shit, is that it?!

"That looks like it" Raven announced my thoughts as she stared at the equipment we set up.

"Now that's just lazy-ass writing" I grumbled as I glanced around. Strange. I thought at least one member of the Team would be guarding the device. Where did everyone go?

Maybe under the ground considering how that lump of sand just moved in the opposite direction of the wind blowing?

Yup, there was no reason for any of our teammates to stay under the sand unless they're waiting on an ambush for the Bialyan soldiers, which is also an implausible theory. The most likely theory is that there are Bialyan soldiers ready to ambush us when we get too close.

Therefore, it would be better if I use Sasha to— oh fucking hell, where did Robin come from?!

Although I had signaled Raven to stay still, there was no way I could signal Robin from skidding down one of the sand dunes in the cool night air as he jogged up to the machine. Fucking hell… at least he's an expert in close-combat… Sighing, I pumped my shotgun and nodded to Raven that we're going in. Then, I aimed and shot a shrapnel pellet at one of the soldiers who was still hiding. Robin, not expecting to hear a gunshot, immediately ducked and stared as the pellet exploded allowing the hiding soldier to scream in agony as he was hit by some shrapnel and fire.

"Come on Boy-Wonder!" I happily roared as I shot two more pellets as I slid down the hill of sand. "Let's get these dipshits!"

So we did. Robin immediately dropped a smoke bomb and I simply charged at the enemy with my brass-knuckles while Raven provided magical shields and blasts from above. Then, more reinforcements arrived: Kid Flash and Artemis.

It took less than 15 seconds to take everybody down.

"Man… I missed you guys" I spoke smiling that our Team was back together. "So, does anybody know where Aqualad and Superboy are?"

"... who are you?"

The smile slid right off my face as Raven developed a concerned face.

"Oh for fuck's sake… you have memory loss too?! Wait… all of you?!" When all of them nodded cautiously, I flipped my bird towards the sky and yelled. "Memory loss. And you had to do that to the whole Team. Yeah, very fucking original, jackass!"

"Uhhh… dude, you're the Comedian, right?" Spoke Kid Flash cautiously.

"Of course it's me!" I yelled once again. "But… of course. You wouldn't remember… The date is September 2010. Have you lost 6 month worth of memories?"

"I… I did" Spoke Robin as he was still hesitant to trust me. "Can you tell us where we are and what we're doing here? The last thing I remember is Batman giving out orders…"

"Four months ago the Joker used Superman to kill his wife with his unborn baby inside her. In conclusion, Superman killed Joker and Batman tried to arrest Superman, which of course didn't work out well. In a nutshell, the Man of Steel became a facist ruler where Batman is rallying a coup to overthrow the new regime of Superman. We're the assassination team working for Batman's rebel forces and this mission to assassinate Queen Bee who provides Superman's regime with resources and weapons" I spoke monotonously.

"Wait… wait what?!" Screamed Artemis as her eyes grew large as saucers.

"Dude?! What?! Really?!" Yelled Kid Flash as he started to feel frightened.

"Of course not!" I spoke laughing out loud at their dumbstruck faces. "I just made that one up four years ago, lul"

"Not funny, man!" Yelled Kid Flash, obviously displeased. "Not cool!"

"Eh, it's a matter of perspective KF" I spoke shrugging my shoulders. "I find it hilarious"

"You had me worried for a moment" Came the soft voice of M'gann as she descended from the sky. "I thought we were actually on an assassination mission!"

"It's a good thing to be prepared for anything Miss Martian" I spoke as I stomped on a guard I caught moving. "Anything could happen in a span of a single hour"

"Now, mind telling us why we're really here?" Asked Robin with a pissed off expression.

Thankfully, Raven interfered and explained the circumstances we were in. Apparently, the girl didn't quite trust me to speak the truth.

Smart girl.

"Huh… that's a lot to take in…" Mumbled Kid Flash scratching his head. "Isn't there any way for us to regain our memories?"

"Well… we could share each others" Spoke M'gann as she started to use her mental capabilities on u—

"NO!" I roared as I instinctively pulled out my revolver that carried lethal bullets as I aimed it at Miss Martian's head. "No. Mental. Probing"

"He's very sensitive about it" Explained Raven with a bland face. "Trust me, I've been on this team for about a few days, but I know that Comedian is a guy who hates sharing any bits of his mind with someone else"

"And I have good reason to" I spoke clearly as the rest of the Team, excluding Miss Martian, tensed, ready to pounce on me if I showed any signs of further aggression. "I'm sure by sharing each of yours for the last six months, you can fill up each other's holes of your missing memories"

"... he's technically right" Spoke Miss Martian in a very scared voice as her voice trembled slightly. "We-we'll do that then"

With those words, the four members were pulled into some psychological space, which I couldn't see.

Now what? Do I just stand here with Raven until I—

Hold the shit fuck up.

"Where's Aqualad?" I questioned as horror started to spread across my face. "Where's the Atlanteen?"

Fuck! A desert is the worst place for fish-people like him to live in! Wait… he might be with Superbo— oh fucking shit! Superboy was stuck in that pod six months ago! Fucking french titties! If the worst case scenario happens(Aqualad dies from dehydration), I may have to change my name, get plastic surgery, and move up and live with the Tibetians who live far away from the ocean and away from Arthur Curry's anger. Currently, I could only hope that Aqualad was either captured by the enemy for experimentation or holding on to his life right at the brink of death.

"Can you try and find him?" I asked Raven who suddenly developed a very concerned face. "Do you have any tracking spells?!"

"I… think I do!" Spoke Raven as she immediately started to cast it as the dark wispy smoke started to swirl around her.

"Come on, come on!" I whispered to myself as I bit my tongue, a habit which I developed when the situation became fucky.

Seconds felt like days and minutes felt like weeks. The only thought that stuck into my mind was…

'What the fuck do I tell Aquaman…? I fucked this up bad. I fucked this up so bad! I'm second-in-command of the Team and the first thing I do when shit happens and when Aqualad's not around is to check up on every member of the Team…! Worst case scenario Aquaman kills me or one of the Team's members by pure outrage. Worst case scenario Aquaman's killed by Wonder Woman. Worst case scenario Atlantis goes on war with the Amazons and have the human world stuck in the middle. Worst case scenario one of the Team loses their marbles and goes full on Punisher! Worst case scenario he goes against Batman and then another civil fucking war! Worst case scenario Aquaman calls war and Bialya and starts a war with humanity! Worst case scena!'

Yeah. The Question's conspiracy theories have affected me in various ways and this was kind of unhealthy for my poor mind.

May the creator bestow a pinch of mercy.

May the creator fuck off to hell.

May the creator delete my memories.

May the creator delete my existence.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fu—

"—median! Comedian!" Came the yells of Robin as he shook me awake from my dark thoughts of imagining every possible future scenario that was slowly driving me to the brink of insanity.

Mein Gott. I am going insane.

"We got our memories back if you weren't listening" Spoke Kid Flash as he nervously approached me. "D-dude, are you alright? You're… bleeding"

I touched my lips and there indeed was blood. It seems like I have bitten my tongue too hard.

"Have you found Aqualad yet?" I asked Raven, but seeing that she was rather focused on concentrating rather than listening to my words.

"We have to go and get Superboy!" Yelled M'gann as her panic-stricken face met mine. "They have him and they'll—"

"They can't do anything," I cut in coldly. "Toruture, yes. But they wouldn't and couldn't kill him. Even if a platoon somehow had a kryptonite pebble in his possession, they would very likely keep him alive since the living provide more data than a corpse. In the meantime, the best course of action would be to locate Aqualad and save him before he dies"

"B-but Superboy…"

"Don't let your love for the clone compromise your logic M'gann!" I growled as so many dark thoughts pooled my mind. It was way more shallow than before, but it was still there… churning and twisting, allowing my soul to freeze and my mind to think straight for the best course of action.

If Superboy dies, Miss Martian would be affected the most. Sure we'll all feel like shit, but Superboy's connection ends from there. He isn't related to Superman, he isn't related to Black Adam, he isn't related to shit. And what could M'gann M'orzz do? I see three options. a) she drowns herself in misery and dies. b) she holds her head up high and continues to be a hero with a colder heart. c) she joins forces with the Dark Side.

Considering the shit I've been thinking about, I would rather have Aqualad live, even if Miss Martian becomes bad. Besides, this was the most sensible option. Kaldur was dying out there or already imprisoned, not to mention that this place was the worst battlefield for any Atlanteen. It's crucial that we confirm his status.

"But enough with that" I sighed before going into the real question. "Who wiped out your minds?"

"Wh-what?" Spluttered Miss Martian, still dazed by my sudden change of attitude.

"Who. Was. Our. Enemy. Who. Wiped. Out—"

"Alright, alright! I think she gets the point jackass!" Yelled Kid Flash as she got between me as he shot me a glare.

"Then hurry up, I want to know what we're up against" I spoke impatiently. "If you can't remember, can you at least tell if we were up against a psychic, a supernatural shit-stain, or just a high-tech user?"

"Tone down the language will you?!" Yelled Wally. Now he was clearly angry at my pissed off attitude. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Miss Martian, I need your answer" I spoke, momentarily ignoring Kid Flash.

"... a psychic… definitely a psychic" Spoke M'gann carefully.

"I found him!" Yelled Raven. "I can feel him! But he's very weak!"

"We'll talk later" I spoke to Wally and M'gann. "Raven, take Aqualad to the ship and make sure to tie him down while you ease him back to strength. He lost a good chunk of his memory and might act aggressively. After you do that, come back"

WIthout words, Raven complied and disappeared as she teleported.

"Now, we need to deal with the psychic who was strong enough to override M'gann's psychic abilities and even damage everyone's heads who she was telepathically linked to" I told the remaining members of the Team. "M'gann, what exactly happens when two psychics enter a battle of… well, psychics?"

"Well… uh, we enter in a trance… and we… fight inside the mental realm until the other loses?"

"Great. So in a trance, neither can move or even be aware of their surroundings, correct?"

"Yes, but a skilled psychic can easily create a barrier around him if they wish"

"That wouldn't be a problem" I spoke firmly as Raven came back to us. "We have more a supernatural player"


"I can't believe it was that easy…" Murmured Robin as we flew over to Mt. Justice. "And I can't believe you decided to chicken out"

What happened was simple. We caused a commotion, drew most of the Bialyan soldiers out of the tent where the power surge erupted and in that same tent was Superboy, which was good. If we were lucky, we could catch two birds with one stone. We kind of achieved that goal. After we took out the remaining soldiers, Miss Martian immediately got into a psychic battle with Psimon, who was the psychic responsible for tampering my Team member's memories. Meanwhile, I was at the entrance of the tent, waiting just in case the soldiers realized they were being played and returned to their base. I don't know much of what exactly happened between the mental fight between Miss Martian and Psimon, but I know that it would've been a tough battle if it weren't for Raven. The girl just annihilated Psimon(KF's words, not mine).

"It was a psychic" I muttered as I unscrewed the lid of my homemade rice wine. "Nobody touches my mind. Nobody"

We traveled in silence as I took a swig of alcohol, never taking my eyes off the sphere that happened to follow us.

"You need a name?" I asked the sphere.

The sphere made a sound.

"You sure you don't need one?"

The sphere made another sound.

"Alright, alright… don't get your panties in a twist"

"Is he… talking with the sphere?" Questioned Superboy, who thankfully regained his memories with the help of Miss Martian after Psimon was defeated.

"I don't want to know anymore" Grumbled Artemis as she hung her head. "This mission was exhausting and Comedian's just being Comedian"

"Doesn't Rolling Stones sound like a good name for you though? But it's alllllllll right now, in fact, it's a gas~!"

"And he's singing again…" Mumbled Aqualad. "But seriously, how is he communicating with the sphere?!"

"But it's alllllllll right, I'm Jumpin' Jack Flash~ It's a gas, gas, gas Oooh~!"

"Not going to lie, it sounds pretty decent" Murmured Kid Flash.

It was a shame that the Rolling Stones did not exist in this world. Shame. Oh what a shame…

At least we have the Beatles.


"Let's talk" I spoke as I mentioned Miss Martian and Kid Flash to follow me to a secluded area. When I was sure we were alone, I began talking after taking a seat in a comfortable looking couch.

"First of all, I acted like an asshole. I shouldn't have lashed out so brutally like that and I'm sorry for doing so"

"Are you actually being nice?" Asked Kid Flash with his eyebrows raised.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I spoke as I unscrewed my canteen again to take a sip. "I'm always nice… I just have a funny way of showing it"

"Taking the words right out of my mouth" Muttered Kid Flash. "But I'm sure you're not here only to say sorry to us"

"Yup. I'm here to bitch about how badly Miss Martian was emotionally compromised"

"I… I'm sorry…" Spoke Miss Martian before Wally jumped into her defense.

"Apology accepted" I spoke curtly. "I understand that dealing with the feelings of others is hard for teenagers like you and me."

As I said this my mind pondered on Martian psychology and mental age stuff and I quickly discarded it before I blurted out questions regarding Martian culture and biology.

"But… in a situation like that, I really need you to keep a cool head M'gann. We were standing on enemy soil where their jurisdiction could sentence us death or even worse than that. If you went charging in and attempt to rescue Superboy without a solid plan, somebody was going to have a funeral where their bodies won't be even in their coffins"

Silence hung in the air as I took another swig of my alcohol. Miss Martian developed sudden interest in her toes and looked very guilty while KF stood by the side feeling quite uncomfortable.

"So… so what happens now?" Asked M'gann as she cautiously lifted her head up to make eye contact with me.

"... get used to situations like these. Situations where our friends or our loved ones may die in seconds. The minute you put on that costume and wear that cape around your shoulders, you're fighting for the innocent, for justice, or for whatever justifiable reason you have in your mind. But in the end, you have to fight for your life" I spoke. "Brace yourself for the worst and make sure to find the best decision where the consequences would be the least worst"

With that I stretched my arms and yawned.

"And that's it folks! Just a little depressing prep-talk, nothing more"

Then, draining the last drop of my alcohol I made my way to the door, leaving the two to ponder over my words.


"... dad"

"Gary"

"I have a question"

The masked hero snorted before nodding his head, meaning that I was free to ask.

"How did you find Raven and why did you recruit her to join the Team?"

"... after Zatara refused to let his daughter join the Team and risk her life, I searched for another person who was attuned to the supernatural side. So, I searched for any urban legend in this country. I created fake social media accounts to look for anything that was magic-related. It took me three days to find a connection and that was the day I found out about Raven. After some thorough research, I immediately went out to search for her and… well, I found her in a tight spot"

"Let me guess. She owed you in the end"

"She did" Spoke my father as he kept his eyes on the road.

We were driving home from the groceries. It was raining and I felt… so drained. So tired.

"As for your next question…"

"..."

"..."

"Uh… dad? Dad? You alright? Da—holy crap, you're crying"

The car skidded and stopped on the side of the road as my dad started to cry.

"... dad?"

"... I was scared Gary… you have no idea how scared I was when I saw you returning from your mission in finding Kent Nelson… You have no idea…"

"Shhhh, dad! Dad! It's alright, I'm alright! In the end, it worked out alright"

"Your forearm shattered, your skull fractured… third-degree burns covering a fifth over your body… All of your ribs were fractured, two thirds were broken and have pierced your inner organs. You were suffering from internal bleeding and you pissed blood for two days until we figured what was wrong with you…! Gary… Gary… I was so scared of losing you…"

For anybody else, they would feel emotions. Emotions of love, concern, care, anything. Me? I felt numb. Just numb as I couldn't feel anything that came from my goddamn soul. Slowly, I sat back and watched the person who took care of me for his entire life deconstruct.

Dad told me how our Team was severely weak despite having beings like Superboy and Kid Flash. Dad told me how our Team lacked members with various skills. Skills that required for me and everyone else to live. Skills that are required for inexperienced children to grow into ripe adults who would be able to take care of their own asses. Skills that our team apparently lacked.

So he searched for a person who had these sets of skills, and he brought back a birdy. A gift, a personal present for me, in case we fight against something we couldn't handle such as Klarion.

The Question hated himself. He hated himself for inadvertently introducing me to the world of heroes and villains. He hated himself for creating the Comedian. He hated himself for being so weak that he couldn't protect his own son. Vic Sage hated the Question.

Alas, he could never stop pursuing the road of justice. The man with no face was destined to fight for justice and in this life, he just happened to pick up a stray abomination on the sidewalk of his path to righteousness. Problem is, he grew attached to the abomination. Vic Sage grew attached to Gary Sage and because of this personal connection, the man with no face started to crumble. The more Vic Sage took care of Gary Sage, the more of the Question died. The more Vic Sage loved Gary Sage, the more of the Question turned to dust. Gary Sage was a hindrance to the man with no face. Gary Sage was a liability to the man with no face.

But there is no Gary Sage.

There is no Comedian.

There is just me.

And that is the secret I try so hard to contain.

The secret that everything matters not. The secret that every person would deny. The secret that only I know of. The secret that makes me, me.

There is just me.

Me.

Me and nobody else.

Me.