I know right?! An update! Hopefully this chapter is good enough for y'all to enjoy.

With that said... enjoy!

Cue action!


I was a wreck. Although the top-notch technology would bring my body to heal completely within a few days, the fact didn't help me deal with the constant pain of fractured bones and bruises. My teammates pitied me to some extent, but I could tell that some were still spooked by my interactions with the Joker.

As time passed, the tensions and awkwardness subsided, but Robin and Aqualad were still uneasy around me. Aqualad was the leader of our group, so it was his responsibility to be paranoid. In Robin's case, he had dealt with the madness of the Joker and experienced the Joker's playground of imagination, which was obviously not the nicest thing in the universe. But I had somehow empathized with that madman, and that short interaction set him off.

He would be keeping a close eye on me, if he followed Batman's footsteps.

Sighing again in anguish of endless boredom, I buried my head in my arms and popped up the middle finger at my essay. Even with the Injustice League shitstorm, school always finds a way to screw with me.

"Wow… you're doing homework in Mount Justice?!" Exclaimed Wally as he stared at me in disbelief. "To be honest, I thought you were the type to skip homework and school. Besides, school's closed thanks to the Injustice League"

"Dude, I work my ass off to get all straight 'A's" I deadpanned. "I'm not letting a supervillain team-up deteriorate me from my pursuit of intellect"

"Wow… the Question must be a slave driver to make you do that" Murmured Wally. "Never had the experience of having my parents asking me for such high standards…"

"Don't you get straight As though? I doubt your parents would want anything more from you" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Last time I checked, you happened to recreate the process of obtaining the Flash's speed, which is quite the accomplishment"

Wally beamed at my words as he miserably failed to stop the end of his lips from curling upwards into a proud smile.

"Besides, I'm doing this for my own good… I have a reputation to maintain in my school and I refuse to be treated as a Neanderthal who pretended to be a Homo sapient"

"You're being too harsh on yourself" Muttered Raven as she flipped the pages of one of the best human literature. "Learn to relax"

"... you really wouldn't like to know the methods I use to relax" I spoke, wincing a bit from a memory of a session of hate fucking with one of my rivals at school before the Injustice League incident. What was supposed to be a study session with Cindy An Nguyen turned into a heated one sided spite-filled insults("It's not fair! You don't even try to get good grades, then how the fuck are you so good?!" "Uhh… I'm Asian?" "I'm Asian too! Phak you!"), then the next thing I know is her forcefully trying to shove her tongue down my throat.

The next events were a blur, but I am positive that there were a handful of slapping, a dose of lethal scratching, abundant asphyxiation, illegal shots of hand-holding, and a drizzle of name-calling.

In the end, hate sex turned out quite productive for both of us in regards to our significant decrease in stress levels and the tension between us. But I wasn't going to tell Raven that. Although I'm sure my status as a slut wasn't unknown to the team members(unless they're really dense), I wasn't that uncaring to nonchalantly reveal my personal sex life to my friends.

Raven seemed to get the innuendo and scrunched her brows in disgust while the indirect mention of sex went over Wally's head as he was still glowing from my recent unintended compliment.

I think I forgot to mention something important…

Oh yeah, we're on probation for an unknown extent of time.

Unfortunately, this brought a lot of spite and grievance to the Team. Superboy, with his large ego, was the one to complain the most, talking about how Red Tornado had more faith in them than the current supervisors. He hadn't talked to Canary yet, but it was only a matter of time before something voiced their thoughts.

Sounds of commotion going on outside… I wonder what's going on…

"Oh hey!" Spoke Wally as he used his superspeed to check what was going outside. How he managed to keep his shoes intact I have no idea, but he managed well. "I think we have our newest member!"

"We're getting a lot of teammates these days" I grumbled as Raven helped me up. "Ouch, not the toes, not the toes!"

"Sucks being normal by the way" Spoke Wally apologetically, before he suddenly realized that sounded greatly offensive. "N-no offense! Just commenting on how normal healing isn't that good"

"Nah, no worries. Super speed has its downfalls too" I commented.

"Yeah?" Asked Wally, having the nerve to raise an eyebrow right after he dissed 'normal'. "And what could that be?"

"You guys will never get a girlfriend" I teased with a slight shit-eating grin.

"And why's that?" Asked Wally, with his voice being snarky and sarcastic as he folded his arms.

"You're too fast"

"... hey!" Yelled Wally balling his fists as my joke got to him. "You! You…! You… uppity…! Argg! Only if you weren't so injured!"

"Pfft"

"Oh come on!" Whined Wally. "This is my first time hearing Raven laugh, and it had to be a joke that targets me"

"That's comedy my friend" I spoke sagely as I stroked my imaginary beard, causing Raven to snort again. "It's comedy from far away , but a darn tragedy up close"

With the response only being a glare, but with a slight appreciation for a witty joke, we strode off to meet another team member, who was a… another girl? And seeing how enthusiastic Robin is, I could only sigh at the sight of another horny chimpanzee.

Aren't I also a horny chimpanzee? Oh, most certainly yes. However, I acknowledge and embrace my horny monke side, unlike others who pretend to be sophisticated gentlemen.

Huh, it's Zatara, and following him was…

"Zatanna" Spoke the magician. "This is the Team"

"Bummer" I muttered, kicking an imaginary pebble, and wincing from the pain of my broken leg. "Thought we were getting a new teammate today"

"... we aren't?" Asked Robin, obviously disappointed. Then he looked skeptical of my words. "Wait… how do you know that?"

"Obviously because her papa loves her so much to keep her from going on suicide missions" I answered sincerely.

"I mean… we've already seen him being resolute with his decision with his daughter's… what's that word again?" I asked, snapping my fingers and wincing once again for my stupidity of forgetting my broken forearm.

"Future?" Supplied M'gann helpfully.

"That's it!" I exclaimed before snapping again.

CRACK

Nobody moved at the disturbing sound of the breaking of bone. However, Zatanna, who hadn't had the experience of hearing or experiencing broken bones, swirled her head side to side to catch where the sound came from.

"Comedian… don't tell me you just…" Asked Robin as he gave me a look of disbelief.

"Yup…" I spoke with my voice two octaves higher than usual. With cold sweat beating down and my skin pale, I tried my best not to scream the f-word. "I broke my forearm… again"

"Jesus…!"

"How could you…?!"

"Here we go again…"

"W-why…?!"

From here and there groans and "there he goes again" came tumbling out of my friends' mouths. However, I wasn't in much of a situation to retort because I was asking the same question to my stupid self.

Seriously, must every comic relief(if this is a comic relief in the first place) be based on pain and excessive violence?

Well… okay, excessive violence is always fun and enjoyable to watch like Tarantino said. But then again, it's not so fun when that violence is directed towards me.

"I'll take care of him…" Grumbled Raven as she started to tug on my body that she was supporting.

Well… the good part of my fragile situation was that my waifu was taking extra care of me. Plus… I got a bit of an upgrade in my body.

Due to the lack of a lot of cartilages(when the medics got to me, they found out it turned into a bloody pancake), and severely fractured body parts, they apparently replaced some of my bone with metal alloys, which had some complexed element names that I didn't bother to memorize. According to Batman, who paid the hospital fees(god bless that man), I didn't need to worry about having my body system poisoned by the metal alloys.

Then came the questions, but surprisingly, they weren't about the Joker.

"That issue will be dealt with Black Canary" Spoke Batman in the flashback. "The main issue we have is about the Question"

He's still missing and has simply disappeared from the League's radar and that wasn't a good sign. Now I was getting worried too because of his long absence.

However, I couldn't just tell Batman what the Question was doing. I knew that he was investigating Cadmus due to the goodbye letter he left for me, and perhaps it was for the best for Batman to conduct his own personal investigation on Cadmus. However, as much as I respected Batman for being a hero of justice and being a great detective, I couldn't fully trust him. After all, he trusts nobody except for his dutiful Butler and possibly Robin. Heck, he might even not trust both, and this made me hesitate in giving Batman an answer.

Should I, or should I not comment on the Question's investigation on Cadmus?

Either way, it was up to the author to decide.

Apparently… I decided to tell the Question's latest actions and Batman thanked me for being open with him.

I threw up after my decision as my head began to cloud with thoughts of free-will and just how wrong Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz was in this particular universe.

The show must go on, and all I could do was to plead helplessly as the strings attached to my limbs dragged me across the stage for the next event, like a useless marionette.

Now, now, now… Back to becoming a Comedian.

It was a common occurrence for the Question to suddenly disappear into one of his lairs where he had a bunch of conspiracy notes laid out and tied together with strings and pins, or go overseas to investigate his theories. But for some reason, everything felt out of place with a heavy dose of foreshadowing.

After I fully recover, I need to find the Question myself, starting with Cadmus. If Batman can't locate the Question even with the League's help, the only person who can do it is myself. There was a chance that tracking him down may blow up his mission(which usually consists of whistleblowing some truth bombs to the media and making it go viral), but my guts were telling me that I needed to find dad fast in order to stop having stupid regrets later on.

But first, let me savor the moment of my waifu treating my forearm.

"Oh, stop enjoying it so much" Grumbled Raven as she popped open an anesthetic injection before stabbing it into my broken forearm.


"..."

"..."

"... so…"

"..."

"... They've kidnapped Zatanna, huh?"

"Yup"

"That's kind of stupid"

"... we should inform the grown-ups, right?"

"We should" Agreed Raven as she calmly flipped a page of her book. "But I'm feeling a bit negligent about my duties"

"Man… peer pressure is surely an enormous thing" I groaned as I tried to stretch my neck without trying to break anything else in my body. It has been ten minutes before the Team announced that they were going rogue/rebellious against their mentors by hunting down Red Tornado with Zatanna.

Raven and I were already informed of Aqualad's plan of chasing Red Tornado, way before the variable Zatanna showed up. Now, with all the grown-ups distracted or gone(excluding Captain Marvel who I consider to be a child) this was the perfect opportunity to investigate the rogue ex-member of the League. However, this had two major problems

One was Zatanna, who we were tasked to babysit on the request of Zatara. Thankfully, she was in her rebellious period and seemed genuinely excited on going on an adventure(more like a happy suicide mission). She was just a teenager who needed a bit of a deviation from her normal life. Knowing this, I was positive that she wasn't going to snitch on us.

Second problem was me.

Apparently, I had pushed too much during our last mission. Although it felt good knowing that I put two major villains out of commission(Count Vertigo and Wotan), I received heavy criticism from the League and especially Batman.

I understand that their harshness was to keep me from pushing myself too far. But what they don't know is that the author is too much of a sadist to give me up so early.

Anyways, after the Injustice League, I've become a fragile snowflake with a bundle of sex jokes. This meant that I wasn't going to be able to participate in most missions with the Team for a considerable amount of time, unless I gained a power up during the next few days of recovery. I mean… that happens for plot and OP characters, right?

Yeah, fuck you author. Just wait till I get my hands on you…

Man, I'm going off track so easily. Back to the point. I couldn't do missions, and the Team felt somewhat guilty of abandoning me to search for answers, especially Aqualad. He thought that doing such things would create a sense of alienation and he didn't want such things happening within the Team, no matter how… weird and broken I was. He didn't voice his opinion, but the combination of his body language and personality(which I already knew from past interactions) was enough for me to understand his thoughts.

Fortunately, Raven volunteered to stay and watch over me, commenting on how I would break more bones without them restraining me from self harm. Everybody agreed that was for the best and M'gann joked about making sure I don't burn down Mt. Justice. I simply lamented that my intentions of blowing up the toilet and selling the toilet seat in a black market auction was for naught because of Raven.

Usually, such comments would result in a small love tap, or a satisfying slap/punch, but thanks to my physical condition, I was temporarily immune to all attacks from my sides.

Friendly fire on bitches.

So off they went, taking the baby we were supposed to sit on with them.

That came out way wrong but hopefully you get what I'm saying.

However, I was beginning to worry about the Team.

"You know… sometimes I wonder if the grown-ups truly don't know the things that they say they don't know" I spoke up. "I mean… have you heard of the first unofficial mission of this Team before it got this big?"

"... no, not really"

"It basically started out with Aqualad, Robin, KF, and I… coming to think of it, we may have had Red Arrow with us, but he left on day one we met" I smirked at the memory that felt so… distant.

"So the four of us were pretty pissed at that time. After everything we've been through with our mentors, we weren't given access to the main important seats of the League. But that frustration soon turned into a rebellious act that the four of us decided to act upon. We… kind of illegally infiltrated Cadmus, a genetic research facility that was actually harvesting a biological army. Within the place… we found Superboy and thus delayed Cadmus from… whatever it was doing"

"..."

"Okay, okay, I'll get to the point" I exclaimed, waving my hand around. "What I'm saying is… Did the League truly not know of the things going on in Cadmus? I mean… it's strange don't you think? Cadmus was already a suspicious place that the League was about to launch an investigation. It was just because of the Guardian and his false reports that the League's interference was delayed. But it took us a single day to find Superboy and uncover an entire army of illegally created genomes. However… if the League interfered sooner, they would've done much more than we would've. They're better than us, more efficient than us, stronger than us, smarter than us, and… well… yeah, better"

"... so you're wondering why they didn't"

"That's exactly what I'm saying" I said, finally resisting the urge to snap my fingers, but settling on pointing my index finger at Raven, signaling that she was correct. "I know the majority of them are human and all, and they have limits of saving the day within a day. But… it's just weird don't you think? Even if they have a whole lot to do considering just how messed up the world is, shouldn't something this big of a scale be immediately caught by the League's eyes?"

"Even this Red Tornado case" I continued on as I leaned back into the comfy sofa. "I'm not sure why they're still unable to find the android. I mean… if they can't, so can't we. Logically that has to be true no matter how you see it. Sure, there may be many other factors and possibilities that the Team may find Red Tornado. But it just feels weird that we could achieve something that the League hasn't been able to do"

"... I understand your statement" Commented Raven, closing her book with the black and purple bookmark, saving the point of where she had read the last. "But I think you're overestimating the League"

"We should be… I mean… Raven, come on! I don't know your knowledge and perspective of the League, but it's an elite group of men and women and everything else that have incredible skills. Sure the villains themselves are a nasty bunch with a lot of talent, but we aren't that bad either. Heck, I believe we exceed the bad guys, considering how large and united the League is and how resourceful it is"

"... Comedian, you may have more knowledge of the League than I do, but I do agree that the League is superior to the villains when it comes to comparing the extent of their abilities. However, you're forgetting something important"

"... which is…?

"Our side follow the rules"

"Oh…"

It was as if a fresh celery snapped inside my head as I blinked at the simple realization. Such a simple sentence. Just a few words, way less than what I have blabbered just hit me.

I knew the answer already, but the replaying thoughts of the League's and the Team's actions made me forget the morally good, yet a huge downside of the League.

Their sense of justice becomes the confined area where their actions become limited. While they could do so much more, they draw the line up short.

However, it is necessary for them to stay within the boundaries while following the code. Or else… Well, there are many things that can go wrong when that happens.

Truly, humanity's greatest talent is to build hell upon where we stand.

"By the way, where did this question come from?" Asked Raven, curious about my thoughts.

"It's just… I have a gut feeling that they'll find where Red Tornado is" I let out a shaky breath as I sank deeper into the sofa until the furniture was just about to drown me. "Feel kind of anxious for them… Is this what grown-ups feel about us? Loved ones going out with a huge chance of never returning… hope they all come back safe and sound"

"They will" Assured Raven in an expression that wasn't assuring at all. I hadn't noticed it before, but now it was clear that something was eating the back of her mind.

"Raven… you okay?"

"..."

"... wanna talk about it?"

"..."

"... whatever suits you" I spoke, respecting her privacy of her inner turmoil.

Raven's upset, but what was she upset about?

This seems like another piece of foreshadowing. However, I had no idea if this was going to develop into a universal shitstorm or not that much impactful side story.


Two days later, I learned of Luca and his family's death. Apparently the clean up crew of Hub city dug up their bodies, but that was all I got. No more details.

Yeah. I still feel numb. The news of death apparently had no effect on me, who knew? I thought I would be somewhat attached to these characters despite knowing the Truth. Alas, all I know is to stupidly smile or miserably cry while chugging down pills and alcohol.

Maybe there's a bit of disappointment in me after hearing Luca's unfortunate end. After all… I'll never be able to eat at Luca's restaurant and his great dishes.

Yeah, I'm resorting to drugs now… can't believe how fast I'm falling.

Dad… dad where are you?

"Get the fucking Comedian! The fucker is just a kid!"

I need you because I keep finding myself wading in a pile of shit: mentally and physically.

Among the shouting that came from the gangsters that were peppering what they thought was my hiding spot with bullets, that was the single sentence that didn't have the n-word.

'If my black friend sent me a text saying the n-word…' I began to think to myself as my body went to autopilot, quickly moving towards the rear of the gangsters. Quickly positioning myself on top, I calmly shot a tear gas pellet at them.

'... and if I read that text in my head, does that make me a racist for saying the n-word in my head? Or is it okay since I just thought this inside my head and never intended to offend anybody…? Man… PC is fucking hard, and so tiring…!' I thought to myself as I pumped my shotgun after gunning down a guy with a coughing fit. This activity of attacking these gang members was more of an experiment with my new pellet: water.

So far, it proved to be quite useful.

"You fucking evil piece of shit!" Screamed one thug as he shot blindly as I kept on walking with a yellow lego helmet with a smiley face, preventing the tear gas to affect me along with the bullets that bounced harmlessly off the headpiece. "Don't you know we hate water?!"

"That's racist"

"That ain't racist! I'm black!"

"I wasn't talking to you"

"Then who the fuck are you talking to?!"

"The author"

With that, a jet of water struck the thug's face and knocked him out.

Was it racist of me to assume the author to be not black? Fuck! I said it once, I'm saying it the second time: PC sucks.


"PC fucking sucks… why did y'all white folks decide it was a good thing to enslave people when you believed in Jesus and eternal damnation?!"

"... I'm sorry, what?"

"Hey, don't get offended. As a minority, I have every right to make fun of the majority's mistakes. That includes making racist comments against you white folks"


I can't f##king believe in myself that I forgot to mention that Gary is an Asian… Hell, did I ever gave a good description of how he looks like in the first place?


"... Comedian, do you hear yourself?"

"You just asked me what was going through my mind!" I yelled exasperated from the look that Black Canary sent towards me. "And who the hell interrupted me?!"

Don't tell me… don't tell me I was this close to breaking the fucking forth wall! Fuck! I could've finally known something about the author to cuss about the little shit!

Meanwhile, unknown to me, Black Canary looked very confused and slightly uncomfortable. Currently, I was doing a bad impression of a normal, not-crazy person as I sprouted nonsense every now and then. Fucking author. They can't let me act normal for just once.

As the blonde bird jotted some words down on her clipboard, she gave a quick glance at my furious state and let out a sigh.

"I… I truly don't know if you're doing this on purpose or you're being genuine" Confessed Black Canary as she started to take her belongings, signaling that this therapy session was over. The so-called therapy session was horrible. When I say it was 'horrible', not only does it imply that it was boring, but also it made no benefit whatsoever. Even when I tried my best to answer all of her questions with sincerity and professionalism, we kept going in circles over and over again.

Worse, the more I talked, the more I became tired, which is directly proportional to my crankiness. By the passing minute, I became more and more sarcastic and cynical despite my efforts, and it was obvious that Black Canary wasn't enjoying staying in the same room with me.

"... Oh, by the way, Gary" Spoke Black Canary in a very tired tone. "This is the last time the League is going to let you off with a warning from pulling off a stunt today. We specifically told you to not patrol the streets and stay at home for at least a week for absolute recovery"

I winced outwardly. Of course they were going to know what I did so I tried my best to rest… but my stupid soft heart had to go out and make a damned difference.

"Good. Now with that out of the way, back to our therapy sessions…" Continued the blonde woman as she gave me a cold stare as I gulped, intimidated. "This is far from over"

"Yes ma'am"


The metal alloys that are now implanted into my body gave… off a strange sensation. Almost as if the body does not recognize one of its important parts functioning properly. It felt odd, having something so foreign becoming part of me… guess not many people would have such experience…

It's been one month since the Injustice League incident and I'm already in a hot mess.

With Batman giving me constant info about Cadmus and the Question, I was trying my best to figure out where he could've gone, but to no avail.

I sighed once again, as I dragged my ass across the room with a bottle of alcohol in my hand to keep me company. I was currently in one of the Question's warehouses, where he would store and analyze information from magazines, newspapers, and articles. Currently, with his absence, the whole lair was plastered with Cadmus and the possible suspects of those who were in control of the genome factory.

It was maddening how they were still functioning as a company after we wreaked havoc on their research and revealed the army they were manufacturing. What a fucking joke…

Pulling my pants down, I sat down on the toilet seat. Although I wasn't taking a shit, I always found myself sitting down to take a piss when it came to the toilet. Don't know why I chose to do this, but perhaps it's out of my desire to clean the toilets with more ease.

Huh… my badge.

Still wearing my Comedian costume, I happened to suddenly grab the yellow smiley face and started to caress it. No reason, really. Just a way of spending time while taking care of the leak.

Then, my fingers slipped.

"Motherfucker…" I groaned as I lowered my body position to pick it up.

Suddenly three things happen at once.

a) My fingers grabbed hold of the smiley face.

b) The hairs on the back of my neck rose sharply up.

c) A sound of an immense explosion came right behind me.

There was indeed an explosion, and the force of it blew me away, causing me to tangle with my unbuckled pants, smash painfully through the wall and roll a couple of feet before my back hit the other end of the warehouse.

Instincts kicked in, and I pulled my pants up.

Second instincts kicked in, now I was trembling as I was able to see the destruction that took place in the bathroom. With the smoke and ash clearing, I could see that if I hadn't lowered my body to pick up my badge, I would've died. Turned into paste and all, and gone straight down the fucking drain.

With my desire to piss evaporated, I focused on staying alive as multiples of beams of light, shot down from above.

I jumped, rolled around, and did a shit ton of moves to dodge everything.

Meanwhile, the papers were burning in yellow and white flames, and fluttering gracefully between the streaks of yellow light. Photos melted or froze and from the horizon the last droplets of the sun were slowly disappearing.

In the warehouse that was now a nearly demolished place, I barely stood up straight, as I had to use all of my willpower to stop my knees shaking so much out of fear and confusion.

Now, as the night closed in, I stood bare and defenseless as I stared up at the maw of the night. In the middle of that maw… was…

"IRREGULARITY" Boomed the voice of the ancient God, rattling my bones and the metal alloys as the flesh that encased them resisted from bursting into gore. "You… YOU DO NOT BELONG IN THIS WORLD!!!"

"Ah… ah… ah… AHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed in horror as I immediately unloaded my revolver on my predator.

However, these bullets are no use against Nabu the wise. Against the great being like Doctor Fate, such things were like flies that could easily be thwarted by a flick of his wrist. But, it seems that the bullets didn't register in the hero's mind as he simply raised his hands into the air. Magical energy started to gather in his hands. My Gods… this guy… this guy was doing some Dragonball Z level types of shit to kill me!

"Ha… Haha… HAHAHAHAHA!" I suddenly laughed, my survival instincts forcefully redirecting my emotions from short-circuiting. My face was still pale and the pupils of my eyes had shrunken down to a single dot, but I wasn't going to give up. Quickly scanning my surroundings, I placed my attention back to Doctor Fate and raised a finger at his levitating form. "M-man… wanna… wanna h-h-hear a joke?"

"Doctor Fate versus Comedian"

Then with a devastating light and explosion, chaos, in the name of order, rained down upon Hub City.


Next Episode: Doctor Fate vs Comedian.

Next Update: Squadra Esecuzioni: Ascension to Heaven.

So... Doctor Fate is about to get medieval on Comedian's ass, and poor Gary has to deal with it. Suck it up Gary, but don't worry. In the near future... or sometime later, I might promote you.

Besides that, Gary vs Cadmus arc is slowly building up, and the relationship with Raven deepens, one chapter after another.

Good criticism is always invited, and please point out any grammar mistakes I have made. Thank you for reading and stay healthy y'all. And most importantly, PC sucks.