Chapter 2
Kakashi heard, before actually seeing, Tenten. He was surprised no one else was around to check out her wailing. Because that was how he would describe her. Wailing like a dying cat. Maybe that was exactly why no one came, they didn't want to be involved in whatever made her produce the god awful sound.
He found her crouched on the floor next to her desk. Shoulder heaving, mumbling incoherently. He debated if he should involve himself. Making a pros and cons list mentally. In the end, he decided if it wasn't dealt with, he would have to hear her cry all day long. Best to rip the band aid off now.
"Tenten…what's going on?" He asked as gingerly as possible.
She turned to face him, tears and snots running all over her face.
"Hokage-samaaaa WAH *hic hic* WAH" she wail louder. He maneuvered around her strategically, trying to find a safe place to gently pat her. He extended his arm, but at the last second pulled it back. Too much snots he decided. Wasn't worth the effort.
"What's the matter?"
"I'm half priced! WAH!"
His eyes twitched. "What's that? I don't think I heard you."
"I'M HALF PRICED! WAH WAH"
He didn't hear wrong. She's just crazy.
"Tenten…you're not, um, doing, ah…can you explain more."
He waited, but the wailing continued.
"If you're facing hard times, I can-"
"How can I be half the price of Gai-Sensei?! It's outrageous!"
Kakashi never thought he would hear such a sentence. The wheels in his mind churning out all sort of possibilities from her outburst. He shouldn't have been surprised though, half the population was off their rocker one way or another.
"Tenten, I-"
"Look! How can this be half priced?!"
She threw another Polaroid at him. This one didn't upset him though. It was actually a very nice photo, he thought. Of course it was another picture of him, but this time it included Tenten. They were facing each other so it was a picture of their side profile. He was looking down at her as she showed a smiling face. Her hands were raised and in the process of fixing his Hokage hat. The implication of the photo was clear, they were caught in an intimate moment, but the truth was the total opposite.
That was the day he had a photo shoot for some event or other. He was distracted with thoughts of escape. And being the horrible assistant she was, she knew and stopped him. She had used the pretext of helping to fix his veil to quietly threaten him. She was all smiles as she told him how she would snitch to Shizune the moment he poofed away. And now that memory was made concrete with a Polaroid. He really should put in some effort to find this black market photographer.
"It's a nice picture." He offered.
"I know! But Ino just told me that it's on sale! Apparently no one wants it! They rather have pictures of you with Gai-Sensei or Iruka-Sensei!"
"Oh I see."
Tenten didn't understand why he wasn't as upset as she was. She slowed her crying down now that she vented. She looked down at the stack of Polaroids. She has promptly bought a dozen just to up the sale number. More accurately, she got Ino to buy it for her. How embarrassing would it be to be caught buying pictures of herself.
She looked up to see the Hokage walk to his desk and put the picture into the drawer.
"How come you're not burning that?"
"No need."
"Really?" She eyed him suspiciously. Not really believing he would save it.
"Why would I? I look good in that one."
Tenten silently nodded. She felt the same, she look damn good in the picture. A smile finally graced her face.
"Thanks, Hokage-sama!" She beamed at him, feeling better. Sadly she was not met with the same sentiment.
"Um, maybe you should go wash up." All he saw was half-dry snots and black mascara lines on her face. The smile did not help her imagine, it actually made her look deranged. He made a circular motion around his face, indicating the area in need of attention.
"Oooo, yes yes, thank you. I'll go now!" Tenten swiped at her eyes and nose, trying to wipe away her tears. She successfully smeared the mascara further. As she happily walked away, Kakashi held back a facepalm.
Once she was gone, he pulled open the drawer and took another look at the picture.
'Hm…'
Xxxxxxxxx
Tenten contentedly strolled towards the Hokage tower. She was returning from lunch, a nice break from the morning shenanigans. One break that her boss insisted she take and which she didn't hesitate in accepting. Nothing a good plate of food couldn't fix. She spied the Hokage standing in front of the tower with an elegantly dressed woman. The woman had on a forest green kimono and wooden sandals. Her hair in a low bun.
'I don't remember him having any lunch appointment. This must be why he wanted me to leave so badly. Tsk tsk tsk, he could've just told me he had a date.'
She averted her eyes and pretended like she didn't see them. Walking around a different path to enter the tower.
"Tenten! I'm here!" His voice stopped her in her track. That and his arm raised high, waving at her. She turned to them with a bright smile. Busted. The lady's judgmental gaze made Tenten walk a bit straighter.
"Hi-" before Tenten could finish her greeting, she felt herself being pulled in by the Hokage. He casually draped his right arm around her shoulders.
"This is Tenten." He presented. The lady took her time examining Tenten from head to toe.
"Hm…her picture looks better."
Tenten could feel the Hokage's hand holding her back from pouncing on this woman. She looked to him questioningly. He didn't spare her a glance as he spoke.
"Nonsense, Lady Mako. Tenten is perfect in person. But we must be getting back to work now. I'll talk to you next time. Bye now." With that he turned them both around and started walking towards the door. Tenten looked back over her shoulder to glare at the woman. Nonsense indeed was what she thought.
"Watch your step." He advised. She turned on him so quick, she almost felt whiplash.
"What was that all about? Who was that? What picture was she looking at?" She shot out rapid questions. Wanting to get to the bottom of whatever weird encounter she had just been a part of.
"Nothing serious. I just told her that you're my girlfriend."
If it weren't for the fact that his arm was still around her shoulder, she most likely would've trip and fallen on her face.
"Wha-What's that now?" Her feet still weren't functioning correctly. He was practically half-dragging her at this point.
"I just told her that to keep her off my back. She's a village elder and has been pushing for me to get married. She's the one that keeps sending that matchmaker." He was unperturbed by the lie.
"This isn't going to end well."
"Eh, she'll come back half a year later. No big deal."
Tenten fully stopped now and faced the Hokage, shaking his arm off.
"Ok, listen. It's really not going to end well."
"It'll be fine. Next time she ask, I'll just say we went our separate ways and I need time to heal."
Tenten shook her head.
"Have you never read or watch anything with this lie being used? Don't you know how things turn out?!"
"Yeah, it's always fine. The couple falls in love and live happily ever after. But we're not lying to everyone. It's just one lady."
Tenten wanted to grab him and shake some common sense into him. Did he not hear himself? Happily ever after? Love? Was he nuts?
"Hokage-sama, trust me, it's not going to be like that. Mark my words."
"You're being dramatic. It's fine."
Xxxxxxxx
3 hours later…
Tenten knew this would've happened. She told him so, but no, big boss man knew what he was talking about. He didn't think anything of the lie. Just the benefits he got from it. And now look what happened. Well, it wasn't her lie so she'll just let him deal with it. You reap what you sow.
Kakashi stared at Tenten, but she kept silent and continued with her work. He didn't think it would turn out like this and she wasn't even helping. His head was about to explode from all the noise.
Just five minutes ago, his greatest nemesis, Maito Gai, had bursted through the door with confetti and bells. The worse part was, the man was dressed in a ridiculously voluminous white wedding dress. And trailing behind was his other student, Rock Lee, in an equally ridiculous looking dress. They had come to congratulate the 'couple' on their upcoming nuptial. Kakashi had tried to interrupt the flowing speech to dispel any misgivings, but he couldn't get a word in.
Gai was still going on about how beautiful of a bride Tenten would be and that he had to show her the dress right away. Kakashi couldn't fathom why Gai had to personally model it though…a not-so-secret cross dresser? Kakashi was trying to catch Tenten's eye. He saw her bury her head lower.
"What kind of flowers should we have? Orchids? Wisteria? Roses? Oooo what color should we decorate with? Tenten, tell me what you like. Lee, take note! It must be perfect for *Our* flower."
"Yes, Sensei!" Lee nodded his head enthusiastically. Pulling a notebook and pencil out of his dress.
"ENOUGH!" Kakashi bellowed as he slammed his hands down on the desk. All three looked at him.
"Gai, Tenten and I are not getting married. We're not even a couple"
Gai narrowed his eyes then smiled brightly.
"You're afraid I'll mess up the wedding. I have everything under control! Lee, take note! We must hired the best for this!"
"Yes, Sensei!" Lee frantically scribbled in his notebook.
"There's really no wedding." Kakashi assured. "How did you come up with that idea?"
"The whole village is talking about it. Has no one come to congratulate you two?"
Kakashi felt a migraine coming on. He did not anticipate the severity of his white lie.
"There's nothing going on between us. Please pass the word along. The truth is I lied about us being together."
Both Gai and Lee looked affronted at the statement. They both felt personally attacked. Twin eyebrows raised so high that it disappeared into their bangs.
"Lied? You…lied?! Toying with a young girl's heart like that?! How dare you? Is she not good enough? Is it someone else? You two-timing…if you weren't the Hokage. I outta-"
"Sensei! I don't wanna marry him." Tenten finally spoke up. She could see the situation quickly getting even more out of hand.
"My Flower! Don't worry, Sensei will find you a better man. Don't cry!" Gai pulled her into a tight hug, comfortingly petting her head.
"…I'm not…"
"Lee! Take note! We must find Tenten a great man!"
"Yes, Sensei!" Scribble scribble
Tenten rubbed her temples to dispel any oncoming migraine of her own. She methodically lead her team towards the door as they spouted more nonsense about what qualities they'll look for in her future partner. She nodded along as if she was really listening intently. All the while tuning them out. She got them out the door and promptly shut it in their face. As she leaned against the closed door, she looked towards the Hokage. He held up his hand.
"Don't"
"Told you so!"
xxxxxxx
A/N: Happy Holidays!
