I woke up confused and alone on my couch.
Mostly what nagged inside of me was that I woke up alone.
I remember Clint and I watched some of The Big Bang Theory after midnight. I must have fallen asleep shortly after. And Clint must have gone home.
Sitting up the throw blanket from the back of the couch was sliding down me. I don't remember grabbing for the blanket.
Maybe Clint covered me before he left?
The thought made my stomach flit.
Don't read anything into it. You'd do the same for him. Friendly gesture. Nothing more.
Rubbing my face I got up and looked at the time, it was past nine in the morning and my stomach rumbled. Breakfast was in order on this lazy Sunday.
Padding into the kitchen I thought I really needed to stop falling asleep when I was around Clint. It was becoming a bad habit.
Making eggs and toast I sat down at my table and checked my phone. Pops had sent me a text message asking if I could come by and help him with the yard work now that we were officially into April.
"So much for my lazy Sunday." Sighing to myself as I sent him a text saying I would be by after breakfast. Hopefully, by tomorrow I would be able to finish my article.
When I got back to my apartment later that afternoon I was exhausted and covered in dirt. Pops and I planted all new flower beds in the front yard. As well as cleaning up and trimming the trees.
My beat-up pair of jeans and old t-shirt smelled of dirt and sweat. My curls piled on top of my head in a messy bun. What I needed was a shower.
Walking into the kitchen I filled my electric kettle with water and mused about what tea to brew. A blended orange, vanilla spice sounded good.
Leaning against the counter I waited for the kettle to be ready when I heard a knock on my glass doors.
"Oh please no." Pleading quietly as I looked down and took in my dirty, messy clothes.
Maybe I should just pretend I'm not here. Then that would save me from having to stand in front of Clint looking like a mess?
No, then that would be rude and I'd feel bad.
Another set of knocks sounded and I groaned internally as I slowly made my way to the living room. The blinds were open and Clint could see me clearly.
His eyes widened when he saw me and all my filth. As I opened the door a huge smug grin was on his face.
"You look beautiful." He gasped mocking me.
"I hate you." Rolling my eyes as I moved to close the door. But his superhero reflexes stopped me.
"No, no come on I'm sorry." He laughed pushing the door open and stepping inside "Did you lose a bet with a gardening center?"
"Ha freaking ha." Turning my back on him going back to the kitchen "I was helping my Pops plant flowers and cut tree limbs all day."
Clint came in behind me and hopped on the counter as he watched me pour my electric kettle.
"Tea?" Looking up and asking him.
"Sure." He shrugged. Going over to the cabinet I grabbed my meticulously arranged tea tin and handed it to him.
"Wow…this is organized." Clint raised his eyes at me.
"I don't like my teas mixing. It screws up the flavors." Dunking my bag of tea into my Disney mug watching the water darken.
Clint handed me a tea packet "Vanilla Chai, not bad."
Letting the tea steep I went over to my mug shelves, "Pick a mug, any mug." Showing them off for him.
"Wow, you really like to collect mugs. That is a lot of Disney mugs." He chuckled as he hopped down and went to inspect my drinkware.
After a quick deliberation, he chose the simple white mug with the sketch of Steamboat Willie on it.
"Hmm…interesting choice." Musing as I grabbed it and poured the boiling water and set the teabag.
"Why what does my choice of mug tell you?" He quipped as he hopped back on my counter as I handed him the tea.
"That you're simple. You stick to the classics. Not at all showy. It doesn't take much to please you. Very original personality." Smiling at my analysis.
"Hmmm you're not wrong." He smiled back at me as I took a sip of tea.
"Have you ever been to Disney?" Asking him as I took another sip.
"Nope. Never." He replied like it was no big deal.
To him, it may not be a big deal but it made me choke on my tea.
"Are you kidding me?" As I began coughing to clear the tea out of my throat.
"Jesus it's not that disastrous," Clint said thumping my back a few times to get me breathing.
"Uh yes, it is." Coughing to out one last time "Not only is it disastrous but it's depressing that you've never been to The Happiest Place on Earth."
Shaking my head at him "And I thought you had potential." Heaving out a heartbreaking sigh.
"Don't you think you're overreacting?" Clint questioned as he sipped his tea.
"No. Not at all. Disney is Disney for a reason. It's magic!" Exclaiming "And don't give me any of that crap that Disney is only for kids. Walt Disney made Disney so everyone young and old could enjoy his parks." Defensively saying.
"How many times have you been?" He asked.
"Only three times. Once when I was a kid with my mom, Grandma, and Pops. The second was when I was in high school with Pops and Grams. Then Beth and I went two years ago before we entered our graduate programs." Telling him "We always go to Disney World."
"Why not Disneyland?"
"Disney World is closer and bigger." Explaining.
"This legitimately makes me so depressed." Looking at Clint with a frown "Everyone should go to Disney at least once."
Putting my mug down I resolutely said to him "That's it we're going."
Clint looked at me and burst out laughing.
"What? Why is that so funny?" My frown growing larger.
"You're just so serious. It's adorable." He calmed down to chuckling.
Did he just call me adorable?
Yes. Yes he did.
"I never kid about Disney sir. Plus if you can survive a week at Disney World with me then you can survive anything." Wickedly grinning before picking my mug back up and drinking my tea.
"That so?" Clint smirked at me.
"Oh yeah." Laughing out "Major planner here." Pointing at myself "Plus I'm not one of those people who rides the rides just once. No, I'm a multiple times rider."
"Not instilling me with much enthusiasm to take this trip." He joked and drank some more tea.
"Don't worry you'll have a blast when you get there. And if not then I'll just have to force you to have a blast." Innocently smiling at him.
Clint shook his head and let out another laugh "So when is this trip?"
"Oh, I don't know?" Shrugging my shoulders "Whenever you're free."
"I'll check my schedule and get back to you." He joked but it made me smile.
"I'll be waiting." Grinning giving him a quick wink then quickly averted my eyes.
Smooth Dot.
"Did you eat dinner yet?" Clint asked me.
"No, I just got back." Answering.
"What do you feel like for dinner?" He asked taking out his phone.
I noticed it was a Stark phone.
That would make sense.
"Oh you don't have to do that. I can just make something." Starting to speak but he cut me off.
"Chinese sound okay? I'm kind of craving eggrolls." He said like he hadn't heard me.
"Clint it's fine really." Trying to tell him because I felt bad because he paid for food last night.
"Dot will you please stop being so stubborn and tell me what you want." Clint looked up from his phone and stared at me.
After almost a minute of a stare down I knew that he wasn't going to budge. Along with master assassin skills, he was also an expert in patience. Or stubbornness whatever you'd want to call it.
"I'll have chicken and broccoli with fried rice. And I'll split the eggrolls with you." Finally giving in "But one of these days I'm actually going to cook something for you."
"Can you cook?" He questioned with a bit of surprise.
"I can!" Mildly insulted "Keep asking questions and you won't ever eat anything I make."
Clint raised his hands up in surrender "I apologize I'm sure you're a great cook."
"You're lucky I find your annoyingness to be cute." Mumbling as I took a gulp of tea.
"What was that? You think I'm cute?" A devilish grin spread on his face.
Uh oh.
"I said you were annoying." Trying to salvage myself.
"No there was a cute in there." Clint remained grinning down at me from his spot on the counter.
Putting my mug down I crossed my arms "What are we five?" Hastily rushing out wishing I could disappear.
"Sorry, sorry I'll drop it." His lips quirked into a huge smile before ordering the food.
Finishing the last of my tea I dumped out the bag and put the mug in the sink next to Clint.
"Wait." He grabbed my arm and pulled me close before I could step away.
"Yes?" Suddenly breathless.
He raised his hand to my cheek and stroked it.
"You've got some dirt on your face." He softly said.
We both were silent as he brushed the dirt from my cheek. His hand felt warm. Comforting. I found myself wanting to lean into him.
"There, all gone," Clint said quietly but his fingers still ghosted my cheek. His eyes roamed around my face making my insides squirm.
God I wish I at least had some concealer on.
His fingers stilled on my chin. We both continued to stare at each other.
I swallowed the hurricane forming in my stomach.
He smelled amazing. Clint reminded me of hiking. The wind blaring over cliff edges. The subtle scent of pine trees. Leaves crunching under your feet.
His scent was filling my head making me fuzzy but I wasn't complaining.
Still, I noticed that his eyes kept darting to my lips.
Oh my God.
The harsh sound of a ringtone shattered everything around us.
Letting out a breath I took a step back from him on slightly shaky legs.
I was one hundred percent positive my cheeks were flushed.
"God damnit!" He cursed under his breath as he fished his phone out of his pocket.
"I'm sorry." He apologized.
"It's fine. If you give me ten minutes, I'm just going to take a quick shower. Feel free to make yourself at home." Rushing from the kitchen.
I heard him pick up his phone "What is it Stark!" Hearing him snap. Oh my God, he was talking to Iron Man.
Closing my bedroom door I leaned against it and took a deep breath.
Okay…what the hell was that?
Moving from the door I went into my bathroom and grabbed a towel before turning the shower on. Waiting for the water to heat up I looked at myself in the mirror.
Yup my cheeks were definitely flushed. My pupils were a little wider than usual.
Clint and I almost kissed.
…..
I wanted Clint to kiss me.
I had no idea what to do with this!
Attempting to push the panic from my head I went to my room and grabbed a comfortable shirt and a pair of leggings to change into before jumping into the shower.
Showering in five minutes I stepped out and toweled off before changing, then I roughly toweled my hair.
Running a brush through my knotted curls I tried to keep calm. Just because I wanted to kiss Clint doesn't mean he wanted to kiss me.
Maybe it was a fluke. A one-time thing.
Maybe there was something off with the tea?
Okay that last one was lame. But the point still stands.
God I would need to talk to Beth about this tomorrow. If I texted her now, she'd hound me for the rest of the night.
Putting some anti-frizz solution into my damp hair I looked at myself in the mirror.
Not liking what I saw I let out a groan and stepped out of the bathroom and opened my bedroom door before I could second guess myself.
I found Clint on the couch gazing at his phone.
"Everything okay?" Lightly treading on the subject, taking a seat a few feet away from him.
"Yeah everything's fine. My friend called me to confirm some things for tomorrow. I'm….I'm actually going to visit my friends in New York for a few days." He spoke in hesitation. Almost like he was afraid to tell me.
"That's great." Smiling hoping not to look disappointed or keep from asking how long he would be gone "Are you excited to see them?"
"Yeah, it should be a good time. It's always interesting when we get together." He quipped with a smile but it rapidly fell off his face.
"What is it?" Inquiring when I saw the change.
"The sister of the man I told you about. She's going to be there." He said quietly.
"I'm guessing you haven't much contact with her." Gently prodding.
"No, after her brother died I can barely be in the same room with her." He shamefully admitted, "We've scarcely spoken to each other."
Putting my hand on his arm I said, "Maybe it's time to change that. No matter how difficult it's going to be I think it would be good for both of you." Kindly saying, hoping it was comforting.
Clint sighed and roughly ran his hands through his hair. I could hear him cursing under his breath. An internal battle with himself happening.
"Hey, hey." Scooting closer to him, gently grabbing his hands "Remember what I said. Don't let yourself drown in the whys." Getting him to look at me.
His hands were warm and rough. Just like I thought they would be. They suited him and the work he did.
"You both don't realize it, but you need each other. You both can help each other." Staring at him as he took in my words "I know it will be difficult but if you at least try to reach out I'm sure she'll appreciate it." A small smile of encouragement on my lips.
"It will okay. And it will be good for you to see your friends." The smile still on my lips "You'll have a great time."
Without thinking I reached over and pulled him into a hug. He was stunned. I felt him stiffen. I was about to back up and apologize when he responded by holding me tightly.
We were quiet for some long moments before Clint said, "Thank you." Whispering to me.
"No problem." Softly saying back giving him a quick squeeze before I let him go.
But Clint didn't move very far. His face was inches from mine. Gulping my suddenly dry throat I tried to calm the heart in my chest that felt like it was about to explode.
Oh his eyes.
God how he had gorgeous eyes.
I was channeling some major Helpless vibes.
Without saying anything Clint pushed some damp curls behind my ear. His fingers raising goosebumps on my skin.
Letting out a breath he moved forward and connected our foreheads. I could smell the spices from the tea on his breath.
All thought was climbing out of my head.
Clint closed his eyes as we stayed like that. I was afraid to move. Afraid to break the spell and bring us back to reality.
He looked like a thousand questions were running through his mind. While I could barely formulate a thought.
The doorbell rang through the apartment.
Letting out a long sigh Clint opened his eyes. I wondered if I was blushing again. I'm positive I was.
He stared at me. Looking torn. I wasn't sure on what though. He moved away from me but before he got completely off the couch he pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead and then went to the door.
I bolted off the couch attempting to find something to do. I needed to shake out these feelings from me. I had to clear my head.
Focus. Focus.
I moved to my DVDs and glanced at them before choosing The Goonies. One of my go-to movie picks. I heard Clint behind me setting the food up as I put the movie in the DVD player before fleeing into the kitchen.
"What do you want to drink?" Calling out to him as I grabbed my Brita and poured myself a glass of water.
"Water is fine." He called back and I grabbed another glass. Picking up the drinks I went back to the living room.
He appeared completely normal and fine sitting on my couch. I popped back into the kitchen for plates and napkins.
"Do you need a fork?" Asking as I set down the plates.
"No, I can use chopsticks." He smirked up at me from his spot.
"Hey not everyone can. It took me forever to get the hang of them." Replying and he let out a laugh. Settling down on the couch, a respectable distance from him, I pressed play.
"What are we watching?" He asked as he dug into his stir-fried rice.
"The Goonies." Responding as I grabbed an eggroll.
"Classic." He grinned.
The rest of the evening went by completely normal. Like the two incidents of flirting/almost kissing had never happened.
We ate Chinese food and quoted the movie nonstop. The atmosphere was friendly.
Maybe he just wanted to forget it. He probably thought they were mistakes. He just wanted to stay friends.
My stomach churned at the thought, but it was better than not having him in my life at all.
When the movie ended, we said goodnight and parted ways as I had work in the morning, and he had to leave for his trip to New York.
We waved goodbye.
We didn't hug.
I put on a smile and it only dropped when he closed the door and was out of sight.
Clint walked back into his apartment. He shut the door, locked it, and slid down onto the floor.
His head thumped against the glass.
He let out a long breath. His mind racing. Replaying the whole evening over and over.
Shit.
He was in trouble.
