Chapter Nineteen

Stansie Morello lay in the hospital bed, barely clinging to life, her eyes fixed directly ahead of her. Lorna sat in the chair beside the bed, watching her carefully. The way her eyes stared at nothing in particular haunted her mind rather fiercely. She grabbed one of her hands and held it tightly in her own. The only thing that reminded her mother was still a living being. She bent down to place a kiss to her forehead. In doing so, the woman's head gradually turned towards her. Immediately raising Lorna's heart-rate.

Everything happened in slow motion. Stansie grabbed onto the rails of the bed and used them to push herself up in a sitting position. The sight was such a shock to Lorna, she couldn't find it in her to do anything other than to watch it all unfold. Her mother started kicking her legs over the side of the bed, and when she looked into her eyes, she still saw that glassy appearance in them. She would never forget that look. It was haunting. The next thing she knew, her mother had gotten herself out of the bed but her legs were too weak to hold her up and she ended up crashing onto the floor.

"Mom," she shouted, finally able to move again. She quickly ran to her mother's side to try to help her off the floor, however, realized her arms weren't strong enough to maneuver her. The rattled breathing gradually quieted and Lorna felt her heart beating faster than she ever thought possible. As if her mother's heart was added to hers and she was breathing for the both of them.

Lorna hurriedly grabbed the remote off the hospital bed and clicked the nurse button multiple times in a panic. While she waited for one to come in, she knelt on the ground beside her mother and peered directly into her eyes. There was nothing in them, she noticed, her breath caught in her throat. Those eyes lost the last ounce of life the moment Mrs. Morello collided onto the hard tiled floor. She placed her head on her mother's chest, hoping to hear the sound of her heart pumping, but instead was met with an eerie silence. That couldn't be right, she thought. She moved her ear towards her mouth in the desperate hope that breathing would be heard and once more was only welcomed by silence.

Panic began to set in. The only thing she could think to do was CPR. She tried to remember how to do it—fourteen year old Lorna was thankful for what eleven year old Lorna thought was stupid and pointless to be taking CPR training courses during a forced summer camp she had to take part in. Now, she understood the meaning of those trainings. She carefully moved her mother so that she was lying flat on the ground and placed a leg on each side of her. Her hands placed on her chest, one overlapping the other, and she began slowly pressing down against it.

A nurse entered the room and rushed to their side. "I'm gonna need you to stop that, please. Let me get her back in the bed and have a look at her, okay?"

Lorna shook her head, not budging even a centimeter, and fastened her compressions. She needed her mom to stay here with her. A life without Mrs. Morello wasn't an option. Her hands pumped harder as if it would bring breath back to the clearly deceased being beneath her. She wouldn't stop; all she could do to keep herself from falling apart was pretend that her actions were doing something to help. Even when the color of Stansie's lips began to blue, she didn't halt the compressions.

The nurse sighed, realizing the young girl wasn't going to oblige and went ahead with examining the patient right there on the floor. A stethoscope sat dangled around her neck; she took it off, placing the buds into her ears and placing the chest-piece onto Stansie's blatantly still chest. She listened for a few seconds, moving it around and listening again for another minute. All breath sounds were clearly absent. She looked over at the young girl—who was so evidently desperate for her mother to stay alive—and felt a pang in her own chest. She carefully grabbed one of the woman's wrists, which was much colder than normal, and held two fingers on it for several seconds. Not surprisingly, no pulse was detected.

Still pressing her hands against her mother's chest, Lorna paid no attention to the nurse or what she was doing. Nothing else mattered to her than saving her mother. Everything around her was only background noise. She heard nothing but a dreary silence. A sound she loathed. The room had a melancholic aura to it, she noticed and she refused to accept that.

"You really need to stop that," the nurse repeated in a hushed tone. She tried to gently pull Lorna's hands away but was immediately rejected. A breath expelled from her lungs. She looked the brunette over and it didn't take much to observe the very real pain that emanated off of her. "Your mom—she's gone, Lorna. I'm so sorry. I've checked her heart, her pulse; there's nothing there. She's gone. I'm so sorry."


Your mom is gone. She's gone. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. The words roared through her mind awakening Lorna from a restless slumber. Her body jolted up, she squinted her eyes as she tried to make sense of her surroundings. She looked around and realized she was sleeping on the couch in Alex's living room. It was dark but she could make out the figure of Nicky's body resting on the recliner on the other side of one of the end tables. She quietly got up from her spot and followed the shadow of a light that shined through from the kitchen. There was an oak door—leading to the backyard—next to the counter with a skinny window that displayed the moon and stars lighting up the sky. She unlocked it and did her best to silently open it so that she could step outside.

After closing the door behind her, Lorna peered up at the sky in awe of all the millions of stars displayed throughout. They lit up the area rather vibrantly, she noted. A peaceful breeze whirled through. But then her limbs formed goosebumps and she remembered it was still winter and she didn't have a coat on. However, with her thoughts still twirling around her mind, she decided against going back in for a coat and instead started walking towards the sidewalk.

Streetlights shined on the sidewalk helping Lorna to, at least, be able to see where she was headed. My mom passed away from cancer a year ago. Cancer. The comment from Alex earlier made its way back into her head. She swallowed uncomfortably. Alex's mom had cancer and died from it. That wasn't nearly the same situation her mom was in. Oh, no, she rationalized with herself, her mother hadn't passed away like Alex's had. Even the nurse confirmed that. Your mom, she's gone. She's gone. I'm so sorry. Her mom was just gone; she certainly didn't die or pass away. Of course not, no. The nurse would have said so if she'd died. But the nurse only told her she was gone. Which meant there was a chance her mother would one day return.

Lorna had no idea where she was walking to. Walking calmed her mind, so, she kept up the sidewalk and followed the trail of light. She reached into the pockets of her sweatpants and realized she left her phone back at Alex's place. Smart move, she mentally facepalmed herself. The air grew colder the longer she walked. It didn't stop her, however. Rather it only encouraged her to fasten her pace. Soon walking turned into running. She ran up the hill, exhilaration taking over. It felt so freeing to run. She didn't have to think, didn't have to stress, worry, nothing. She just ran.

By the time she made it to the top of the hill, she was out of breath and panting. Now she remembered why she didn't run often. Her body wasn't accustomed to it. Out of the corner of her eyes, she caught sight of a nearby cemetery. She couldn't remember if that was the same cemetery that her Nonna and Nonno were buried at or not, yet, she ventured towards it anyway.

It only took a few extra minutes for her to arrive at the cemetery. The wind came through, making her body shiver on impulse. Lorna cautiously searched through the gravestones until she came across a plot with Morello written on it. Legs fatigued from the running, she sat down on the dew-covered grass and read the engraved names on the granite gravestone. Giulia and Johnny Morello. Beloved parents and grandparents. She traced her finger around the carvings of each letter.


The sun was starting to peep up from the horizon the next time Lorna opened her eyes. Her head was resting on the edge of the stone, she realized she must have fallen asleep there in the graveyard as she stroked the engraved names of her grandparents. Tingling in her legs informed her that those too had fallen asleep. She noticed they were also slightly sticky, most-likely from the fresh morning dew that covered over the grass beneath her. By the position of the sun in the sky above, she deemed it must have been no later than six o'clock in the morning. Which meant she'd better hurry back to Alex's house to prevent from worrying the two of them.

However, if she thought she was going to prevent any worrying, she assumed wrong. When she returned to the house and tried to sneak back in through the kitchen door, she noticed it had now been locked. That meant she had to knock on it, and of course that would bring questions and wondering with it. Sucking in a large breath, Lorna ignored her swirling mind and lifted her fist to gently knock on the door. Birds sang in the background, easily calming her nerves while she waited.

The door opened a few moments later and she timidly entered back inside. It was clearly evident that both of the girls were upset with her. They all sat back in the living room, almost exactly in the same spots they occupied the evening before, and she kept her eyes down on the floor. Mentally observing all the dark lines that streaked through the wooden pattern. Anything to keep her from looking at the two of them. She loathed the sight of disappointment in the eyes of other's. Especially when it had been her own doing.

"Lorna, where were you?" It was Alex who finally broke the silent spell. She sat crossed-legged on the corner of the couch, cradling a coffee mug in her hands.

Lorna fidgeted with a strand of her brown hair in her hands. She hardly knew the dark-haired woman and was seemingly being scolded by her. It wasn't like she lived there; she had no business asking her such a question, she thought. "I went for a walk," she mumbled, keeping her eyes on the wooden floor.

Curving her eyebrows in confusion, the eldest of the three took a sip of her coffee. "In the middle of the night? Why? You know how unsafe it is to be out there after dark—"

"Why do you even care? Stop scolding me like I'm a damn child, I'm not. And you barely even know me. You work with my sister, big deal."

That was a point that Alex couldn't really argue with. Another sip she took of her coffee. "I'm not scolding you. I was just asking where you were. Nicky and I were worried, that's all. And you are a child, Lorna, you're only fifteen. It's not an insult, it's just a fact."

The remark had Lorna impulsively roll her eyes. A child she was not. If she were a child, then, obviously her uncle wouldn't be performing sexual acts on her. Acts that made her nauseous. She swallowed uncomfortably and shifted her legs. The sun poured in through the bay window that faced the front yard. Lorna closed her eyes for a moment and soaked up the sunlight much like a cat would.

"Do either of ya want some coffee? I was just about to start a second pot," Alex offered, getting up off the couch. She stood in the archway, staring at the teens while she waited for a response. Receiving two nods, she went to the kitchen to prepare the coffee.

Alone now with the brunette, Nicky turned her head so that her eyes met with hers. She let them search over her for several minutes. Concern and worry crept back up the longer she looked. The events of the evening before replayed through her mind, strengthening the concern she held for Lorna. A sigh tumbled up through her larynx. Her insides churned at the idea of anyone causing any harm to her friend, accident or not. Lorna was the kindest, most loving, person that Nicky ever met. She couldn't begin to comprehend one single reason for anyone to want to bring any pain to her.

Lorna easily sensed Nicky's eyes on her and slightly turned her head to return her gaze. Guilt gradually ate at her; she wasn't pleased with herself for withholding things from her best friend, yet, she also hadn't been keen on the idea of opening up about anything so soon. Without a word, she reached over and let her hand tenderly rest over the older girl's. She brushed her thumb softly over each of her knuckles.

"Why did ya go for a walk in the middle of the night, kid?" Nicky's voice huskily inquired.

The brunette unconsciously put on a smile. Her hand gave a warm squeeze to the one she held. "I was coming back from the bathroom and I just-I saw how bright it was outside with the moon and everything…I just wanted to enjoy the beauty of it. I always loved the night sky," she mustered up a response. Even though it hadn't been the complete truth, she had enjoyed the night sky since she was a little girl. It was an interest that Mrs. Morello passed on to her.

She wanted to believe her. In fact, she craved to believe Lorna's words. Yet, a nagging sensation kept her from fully trusting that what she said was the truth. And it forced her lungs to expel a deep gasp of air. "Ya shoulda taken your phone, yeah? Me and Al were worried when we didn't see ya in here earlier," was what Nicky settled on commenting back with. Albeit not completely sold on her friend's story, she hadn't want to cause an argument—especially before they even had coffee.


Though both Alex and Nicky offered to drive her to school, Lorna insisted on walking. It gave her time to think as well as exercise that she knew she needed. The more exercise she got, the more calories she burned and the more weight she'd shed. Of course, she kept the latter to herself. The walk didn't take that long, anyway, she arrived inside the building only fifteen minutes later. Which meant Alex's place was closer to her school than her own house.

She went through her normal routine—grabbing her books and heading straight for the bathroom. However, the second she entered inside she was frozen in her place. Her eyes landed on the familiar blonde teen, who was in the middle of washing her hands at the sink, and felt her hands become clammy from the growing apprehension.

Lorna's unease must have transmitted through the room because Annalisa quickly turned from the sink to peer over at her. A taunting smirk easily made its way to her face. She took a paper-towel to dry her hands off with and walked over to stand in front of one of the stalls. "Gee, I wonder why you're in here. Come to throw up some more?" She stuck two fingers mockingly down her throat.

Ignoring her taunts, Lorna walked passed her to enter another stall but sighed when the blonde followed and stood in front of it, too. She placed her hands on each of her temples, rubbing at them to calm her heightening nerves. Her energy was almost nonexistent at that point; she didn't have it in her to confront Annalisa. Or better yet, she didn't have it in her to deal with anything. A breath of air exhaled from her lungs. She tried walking to the stall farthest from her, however, the other did the same and guarded it.

"You're disgusting, Morello," Annalisa retorted, leaning her back against the stall door behind her. Her blue eyes pierced fiercely at the smaller teen. She shook her head, pushing open the stall, and motioned her hands profusely inside. "Get in there, go!"

Lorna had hardly any time to process what was happening or respond; she felt a pair of hands shoving her in the stall and nearer to the toilet. She couldn't even turn around to stop the other girl before her head was harshly pushed down into the toilet bowl. Water quickly made its way up through the passage of her nostrils; she tried to move her head from the vessel but Annalisa's grip proved to be too strong. Breathing became a struggle, her chest started to constrict from lack of air. Her eyes stung from the water hitting them.

"I bet ya wish you didn't come in here, don't ya?" Annalisa's voice boomed menacingly through the room. Though, muffled by the water pooling in Lorna's submerged ears. The blonde snickered, watching her struggle in delight. She kept holding her head down until she heard the liquid bubbling from the other girl's struggle to breathe.

With the other's hold on her finally released, Lorna fell back against the metal of the stall while trying to catch her breath. She pulled her knees up to her chest as her heart-rate gradually slowed back down. There was no chance for her to even say anything to Annalisa as the girl quickly ran out. She was left there, a quivering and panting mess on the now soaked tiled floor. Her body ached and her throat was raw. She felt slightly disoriented as she tried to focus her eyes straight ahead. The surroundings were blurrier than usual, she noticed.

She didn't even dare try to stand up; wooziness overpowered her and her legs felt like Jell-O beneath her. Her eyes gazed out through the opened stall door, she hoped an adult would miraculously walk by and notice her there but she wouldn't hold her breath over it. Lorna momentarily shut her eyes when the sound of footsteps sounded on the floor. Shoes clacked against the tile floor and stopped once they entered in Lorna's line of view.

Her mouth opened and shut. She had hardly any energy to even form simple words at that point. The shoes stood right outside the stall she was in, a glimmer of hope that maybe she would be helped out of the current situation she was in. All hope dissipated when the sound of a mop sloshing water against the ground jammed her ears. Lorna inhaled and felt a sharp sensation shoot through her chest. It took everything in her, but she finally was able to lift her leg enough to kick it loudly against the frame of the stall.

Suzanne, who'd been oblivious to if any students occupied the bathroom as she started in on the daily cleaning, rapidly halted her task at the thump against one of the metal stalls behind her. She turned slightly and noticed a student's legs resting on the floor in the stall right in front of her. Out of concern, she peeked her head in to see if they were okay and felt her eyes widen when she realized the student was Lorna. She could clearly see the young brunette was not well.

"Is everything okay in there?"

The voice of another person—that wasn't her bully—brought a sense of relief to her. She still couldn't get her legs to stand, however, she was able to scoot her way to the front of the stall where Miss Warren stood. "Hel-help, please," her voice cried out, barely louder than a whisper. There was a blatantly desperate plea hidden in her tone; her brown eyes gazed up at the woman with that same desperation.

Watching her move nearer her by scooting, the janitor swallowed uncomfortably. She wondered what on earth had happened to her. "You can't walk? What happened?"

Lorna shook her head—such motion causing a strong dizziness to form. For a moment, she let her eyes shut while using her hands to place atop her temples. A gesture she hoped would ease the nauseating sensation. "I-I can't get up," she breathily answered, pointing her finger profusely at her two legs that were as numb as her mental state. "They feel like…they feel like jelly."

"O-okay," Suzanne pushed the cleaning supply cart out of the way and carefully bent down to help Lorna up. "I'll bring ya down to Nurse Reznikov's office."


Lorna lay on the bed in the school nurses' office, everything hazy and muffled around her. A blanket had been placed over her body at some point and she pulled it up closer. She searched the room to see if anyone was in there with her and felt slightly more at ease when the bright red-haired nurse came over with a dixie cup of water in her hands. She carefully took the cup and brought it to her lips for a much needed sip. It burned all the way down her already raw throat.

Situating herself on the plastic chair that was placed between the two beds, Red noticed the way she flinched as she swallowed the water and her concern grew stronger. "What happened, Lorna? Miss Warren said she only saw you sitting in the bathroom stall," she inquired, placing a comforting hand over her forehead and allowing the tip of her thumb to lightly stroke around its flesh. Her blue eyes watched over the young teen methodically.

The door to the office opened interjecting the interaction between them. And when Annalisa was the one to enter inside, all color dissipated from Lorna's face. If her legs hadn't been so numb still, she'd have gotten up and run out of there. Instead, she only yanked the blanket further up so that it was nearly covering over her head. Her breathing became heavier, almost as though she was panting from how fast her heart beat inside her chest.

Red turned her head somewhat to glance at the student who entered into her office. An eyebrow arched over her eyes. "What can I do for ya?"

The blonde had to refrain from smirking at Lorna; deep down, she was thrilled to see her suffering. Instead, she focused her attention on the nurse and folded her arms over her chest. "Well, Mrs. Bell told me I should come down here and tell ya what happened to poor, poor Lorna," she said with mock concern.

That statement had Lorna's brows curve up. She had serious doubts that her bully would actually give the honest story. However, she was intrigued nonetheless to hear what she was going to respond with. Her head peeped out from the blanket just enough so that she could keep an eye on Annalisa. Though the sight of her revolted her tremendously. She gripped her hand tightly on the cup she still held.

Puzzled, Red also folded her arms over her own chest and looked between the two girls with a perplexed expression. "Please do, Lisa."

"Well, I was in the bathroom washing my hands and when I turned around I saw Lorna in one of the stalls trying to drown herself in the toilet. She had her head submerged in the water for a while—I tried to help her but she didn't want me to. Guess she's a little suicidal or something?"