Chapter Thirty

When lunch time had finally rolled around, Nicky happily filed out of the classroom in leu of her locker. As she made her way towards it, she hoped that Lorna would secretly be there switching out her books already. After the earlier interaction the worry she felt towards her girlfriend had only intensified each passing moment. There was obviously something going on with the girl and she knew she had to get to the bottom of it. Whatever it was that Lorna was dealing with, it wasn't something that was going away.

However, the second she arrived where their lockers were located and caught sight of the petite brunette, her heart instantly shattered inside of her. The trembling of her legs and faded tear marks on her cheeks informed Nicky that she definitely wasn't okay. Automatically, without even a thought, her arms enveloped protectively around the younger girl's unwaveringly quivering body. She carefully led the pair of them down the hall towards the restroom so that she could comfort her without any prying eyes.

Safely in the biggest stall with the door locked, Nicky situated herself on the tiled floor with the brunette resting against her. She ignored the fact that there most certainly were thousands of germs surrounding them as they sat there on the ground of their high school bathroom. In the grand scheme of things, that fact didn't really matter to her. What mattered was finally getting Lorna to open up to her about whatever she had clearly been hiding for the past several months. It was blatantly only worsening her mental state Nicky easily recognized.

Being in such close proximity to the toilet had the brunette craving heavily to go and heave over it. Of course, with her girlfriend's arms around her—and generally, just being in the same room as her—she knew giving in to the yearning sensation was not a plausible option. She had to refrain from acting on such an urge, which proved to be a real challenge in that moment. Each of her emotions came flooding to the surface all at once. That only made the urge to vomit even more intense.

Her eyes averted slowly up at Nicky; she quickly took note of the pure worry that came oozing from her big brown eyes. The sight caused a constriction in her chest. Gently, she reached a thumb up and placed it on her cheek, stroking it in a circular motion. "What's wrong, hon?" She softly questioned, not once looking away from the other's eyes.

Nicky cupped her hand warmly around the delicate thumb that rested over her cheek. Even when it was so obvious to her that something was tearing at the younger girl, Lorna still had the energy to put the concern onto Nicky and that alone was enough to swell her heart up. She brushed her lips tenderly atop Lorna's forehead. "I'm worried about you, Lorna. I want you to tell me what's wrong. And I mean really, I know something's not right," her voice firmly responded, though her fingers softly brushed along the flesh of the thumb they covered over.

Lorna opened her mouth briefly but then shut it. She wasn't sure what to say. Her eyes deterred slightly towards the toilet—looking at it longingly, that was the one indisputable way she knew how to soothe away all the distress that overpowered her. A big breath of air huffed out of her at the realization that she truly had no idea how to escape the deep hole she dug herself into. She had no clue how to keep Nicky from worrying and knowing at the same time. How to stop herself from feeling guilty either way she thought about things. She acknowledged that no matter whether she kept up the lie or gave in and told the truth, the culpability would always be there. It would be the demise of her, she confirmed.

The silence only tightened the sensation in Nicky's chest. It made the worry and concern for her girlfriend strengthen tremendously. She wanted nothing more than for the younger teen to finally feel safe enough to open up to her. "Please talk to me. I know something's the matter, kid, I saw ya shaking as soon as I came to our lockers. And don't give me the 'I was freezing excuse' again because I'm not buying that. I want to help you, but if ya don't open up to me, I can't. Please," she nearly begged, an urgency easily noticeable with each word that came out.

"It's nothing serious. And I don't need or want any help, really. I'm not asking for help. I'm fine, everything is fine." She merely felt like a robot repeating what she had previously said to Mrs. Mendoza when she sat in her office only an hour earlier.

Shaking her head out of frustration, Nicky sighed while wrapping her arms tighter around her girlfriend's waist. "You're lying to yourself and that's only hurting you more, kid. You may not want help or to ask for it but that doesn't mean you don't need help. No, nothing is fine with you. You are not and have not been okay since probably before we even started talking. Just because you hide it doesn't mean it magically doesn't exist anymore. Please just talk to me. Tell me what the hell is going on, yeah? I can't keep sitting back and letting you suffer through whatever it is you are."

A hand covering over her left temple, Lorna let out an exasperated sigh. Her eyes closed for a moment. A silent battle took place in her mind as she pondered over what to do. Keeping up the façade was draining all of her energy quite rapidly. Telling Nicky what was going on with her, however, was another story. The strain and burden it could likely cause her was enough to halt her from doing so. Silently suffering was much more appealing than to ever see her Nicky stressed out. She refused to do that to her.

"Nicky, I don't want ya to worry. You don't have to. You don't need to stress over me or anything. I am fine. I just am failing every one of my classes and I'm stressing over that. But that's all that's going on. My dad's not happy, my teachers aren't happy and I am just fucking dandy," Lorna called out, knowing full well none of what she stated was even remotely honest. But at least her grades were actually close to failing. Knowing that part, the guilt wasn't completely overwhelming as it usually had been.

"Too late, doll, I'm already worried. You are not fine, stop saying that. That is a lie and you know it. I'm not trying to yell but I am getting frustrated at the fact that you keep holding everything in when it's so damn obvious something is fucking wrong. Why can't you just talk to me about it? I mean I'm your girlfriend, for damn sake, I love you and want to be here for you. How many times do I have to tell ya that? Do you-do you enjoy suffering? I'm being serious, Lorna, do you enjoy continuously making yourself suffer by not opening up to anyone? Is that why you won't talk?"

Before Lorna even had a chance to muster up a response, the sound of the door to the bathroom swinging open interjected their conversation. She swallowed uncomfortably, silently wishing whoever was on the other side of the stall wasn't Annalisa. Her heart immediately began pounding in her chest. The thumping was so loud she could hardly hear her thoughts. It sounded like it was coming over the loudspeaker, she slightly turned her head to peak at Nicky; she hoped the older girl couldn't hear it.

Nicky returned her gaze and instantly felt her heart drop. She took Lorna's face in her hands, brushing the tips of her fingers delicately along the flesh of her cheeks. "Tell me what's going on, please. It hurts me to see you hurting," she softly pleaded. What she commented was just the truth, seeing Lorna in deliberate pain hurt her more than anything else. She wanted to take all of it away from her. Yet, she knew that was only wishful thinking.

"I'm sorry," the brunette whispered, carefully forcing herself out of Nicky's embrace and standing in front of the locked stall door. Mentally contemplating whether or not to exit it. She loathed herself for not allowing Nicky in. There was a big part of her that felt sick and emotionally fatigued from being so secretive with her. However, the part of her that held onto the guilt was much stronger.

Not wanting Lorna to walk away like she always seemed to when anyone tried to get through to her, Nicky stood up as well and placed a tender on her shoulder. "Don't leave, doll. Please, let me help. Why can't I be here for you?"

Knowing someone was lurking outside the stalls, Lorna hadn't felt safe taking their conversation any further. If the person happened to be Annalisa, she wasn't willingly going to give her anymore reason to bully her. She unlatched the lock, grabbed onto Nicky's arm, and pulled her carefully along as she exited the stall. Her eyes begrudgingly landed on the very blonde she hoped she wouldn't see and instantly felt herself tense up. Maybe she wouldn't notice them.

Blue eyes peering at them through their reflection in the mirror in front of where she stood washing her hands, a smirk molded to her face. "Ah, little Morello, you're a dyke now? Were you and Nichols having sex in that stall? Or maybe she wanted to watch you drown yourself?"

Fury tore through Nicky's body like a tornado. She balled her hands into fists, glaring darkly at the blonde teen. "You're a piece of shit, you know that? You think it's funny to joke about that? How about I rearrange your face?" Her questions spilled out in a fit of anger. She couldn't comprehend how anyone could ever want to harm someone as loving and kind as Lorna. The girl who only ever showed her genuine care and affection.

Annalisa shut off the water and turned to properly glare back. The smirk on her face not faltering even a millimeter. Nothing brought her more satisfaction than watching Lorna squirm in misery. And knowing how much Nicky meant to her, she could only imagine the amount of pain it would cause the brunette if she'd done something to Nicky. "Hmm, I guess you're right. Maybe I shouldn't joke about that, huh?" She shrugged her shoulders and walked past them, but not without letting a finger brush against the redhead's arm. The look on Lorna's face was enough to make her chuckle. She waved enthusiastically at the two before finally leaving the bathroom.

Thankful for the blonde's departure, Nicky felt the rage release from her body and she focused her eyes back on Lorna. Her heart aching tremendously at the condition she was in. An arm wrapped affectionately around her waist, she pressed a warm kiss atop her head. "It's okay, kid, I'm not gonna let that bitch pick on ya anymore. You're safe with me," her voice murmured softly against Lorna's ear.


School finally finished and the two teens left the building, hands intertwined, a word unspoken between them. They walked to Nicky's car, getting in their spots from the morning, and the older girl drove it out of the parking lot onto the freeway. She hadn't asked but ended up driving to Lorna's home instead of the apartment she'd been staying at with her sister. It was an autopilot decision she had made. When she pulled up to the curb in front of the house, she peeped her eyes over at Lorna.

With a hand placed over her chest, the brunette tried to keep herself from panicking. She wasn't expecting Nicky to drive them to her father's house. Shutting her eyes to calm herself somewhat, she quietly prayed that her father wasn't home. She hoped he'd gone to a bar or anywhere that wasn't there where Nicky could possibly find out about his abuse. That was the last thing she needed to happen that day. Everything seemed to be working against her, she wouldn't be surprised if the opposite of what she wanted was what took place instead. The universe was against her, she deemed.

They weren't even inside the house yet and the smell of alcohol was already noticeable. Lorna squeezed her eyes shut to brace herself for what was to come. Her hand timidly reached for the handle of the door, slowly turning it and forcing it open. The scent intensified. She swallowed a wad of saliva, mentally preparing herself for whatever was about to go down. Her eyes casually averted towards Nicky, easily taking note of the concerned expression that melded on her face. A lump formed in her throat. She silently prayed that nothing would happen. Nicky already worried too much for her, she loathed for there to be any more worry piled on. Her girlfriend was the sweetest person she'd ever met and seeing her so stressed over her petty self caused a guilty pang to sit in her chest.

Relief washed over Lorna as the two of them entered in the living room with no sign of Mr. Morello anywhere. Standing slightly behind her, Nicky eyed her suspiciously. It was blatant to her that something was undoubtedly amiss with the younger girl. The way her eyes frantically searched their surroundings and her legs very faintly trembled gave that away. She remained silent, despite her worry, and followed the brunette into the kitchen where she quickly got to work at preparing a pot of coffee.

While the coffee brewed, Lorna finally turned and focused her attention on Nicky. She swallowed a small lump that had been sitting in her throat. "I wasn't expecting you to drive us here," was her quiet comment as she took out two mugs from the cabinet above, placing them beside the coffee maker. Her hands reached casually for a couple packets of her preferred zero calorie sweetener which she emptied into the mug she claimed for herself.

"Yeah? How come, kid? I mean isn't this where ya live?" The redhead questioned shiftily, eyebrows arched over her eyes. Concern only intensified as she gazed warmly down into Lorna's brown eyes. She cradled a hand delicately around the bottom of her chin.

The coffee finished dripping into the pot, momentarily interjecting their conversation. Lorna grabbed it from underneath the machine and brought it over to pour into both ceramic cups. She handed one to Nicky, keeping the other for herself. "I mean that's true, I just got a bit surprised to see ya pull up in fronta my dad's house is all. I been spending the past few nights at Franny's and figured that's where we were headed, I guess." She spoke in a nonchalant manner between sips of coffee.

Hearing that continued to encourage the concerning sensation that loomed over Nicky. She knew long ago that there was something shady about Lorna's father. And, now, she just hoped to finally get to the bottom of whatever it was. Her eyes peered piercingly ahead into the shorter woman's as she caressed the palm of her hand lovingly along the flesh of the chin it was cradling. "Is there a reason ya stay at your sister's place so much?" The question slipped out rather easily.

"I, uh, I like staying with Franny more. It's close to the coffee shop and—it's just nicer, ya know?" She shrugged her shoulders somewhat, sipping her coffee once more. The smell of alcohol wasn't strong like it normally was, yet, it was enough that she noticed and scrunched her nose uncomfortably. She sighed, walking over to the coffee maker and placing the pot into the sink to let it soak in warm, soapy, water.

"Hmph," Nicky huffed out, eyes glancing over her coffee mug directly into the shorter teen's. None of what she said seemed at all convincing to her. She folded her arms defensively over her chest and let out a dramatic breath. "Really, kid? Ya sure there's not another reason? I mean how come I've never met your dad before? I've been over here a couple times now and never once have ya introduced me to him. Why is that, Lorn?" An eyebrow raised worriedly over her right eye.

Their conversation was once again interrupted, that time by the sound of the front door opening in the living room and an obviously drunken Mr. Morello stomping about the floor. Lorna inwardly panicked; the palms of her hand became incessantly sweaty as she gripped tighter onto the handle of her coffee mug. She shifted her feet while returning her girlfriend's gaze. "Um, it's just—I guess I never really thought to introduce ya to him. He's nothing special, just my dad. He, um, he tends to drink a bit too much and it's embarrassing is all," she pointed out half truthfully.

"Your dad's a drunk, doll?" Nicky's voice and facial features instantly softened as she framed a hand tenderly around one of the smaller girl's cheeks. She peered intensely into her eyes, rapidly noting the pure fear that emanated from them. A thumb she brought up to lovingly tuck a strand of hair behind Lorna's ear.

"No, I mean, he drinks a lot but he's not a drunk…I guess maybe he's a drunk, I don't really know. I just never wanted anyone to find out because he—he isn't real nice when he's a drunk and it makes me feel bad for anyone else to see that," she stated, a lump molding in the pit of her stomach. She clutched onto her coffee mug and motioned for Nicky to follow her back through the living room and up the staircase to her bedroom.


The second they entered back into the living room, Lorna heard her father slam down a beer bottle roughly onto one of the coasters on the end table next to the recliner he was sitting on. Such a loud sound caused an instinctive jolt from her body. She didn't dare peek a glance at him, quietly but briskly pulled Nicky along towards the stairs. However, before they could fully make it up them, Mr. Morello turned his attention over at the pair and glared darkly at Lorna. A scowl molded onto his face.

"The fuck are ya doin'? And who the hell is this little friend a yours with you? I don't remember saying you could have any friends over," his speech slurred as he spoke, clearly showing how intoxicated he was. As if the glazed look in his eyes hadn't given anything away. He picked up the beer bottle from the coaster it sat on and chugged the rest of it down.

Without a second of thought, Nicky rapidly wrapped an arm around the shorter girl's shoulder in a protective manner. The way Mr. Morello was talking and acting made a knot sit in the pit of her stomach. Something clearly hadn't been right. She kept her mouth shut, even though she yearned to speak back to him out of protectiveness for her girlfriend, in order to not stir up any more emotions out of the man. Instead, she focused her eyes on Lorna. Watching her intently while letting a hand comb soothingly through her hair from the back.

Lorna swallowed a lump. It felt like everything was stacked up against her that day. Nothing was going her way. The universe was obviously out to get her, she grudgingly deemed. She didn't hesitate another moment, pulling carefully—yet desperately—on Nicky's arm and walked the rest of the way up the steps, not stopping until they got to her room. Once the both of them were inside, she hurriedly—practically in a hysteria—locked the door and sat down on the ground in front of it while pulling her knees up to her chest. She rested her head on the top of them, turning slightly to stare at Nicky. A sigh tumbled out through her larynx when she observed the apprehension that profoundly oozed from her big brown eyes.

The younger teen's actions only exaggerated the concern that had previously been brewing inside of Nicky. Her legs automatically crouched her body down against the ground right beside the brunette. She let an arm envelop soothingly around Lorna's waist, pulling her closer and brushing a warm kiss atop her head. "Are you okay?" The inquiry simply slipped from her mouth as her eyes peered affectionately down into blatantly panicked ones.

Her mind swirled with millions of thoughts it felt like. Nicky's question sounded muffled and far away as she tried to grasp onto reality. The events of the day appeared to mentally suffocate her. As if they formed an invisible wall around her, keeping her out of touch with anyone else in her presence. She opened and shut her mouth a couple of times, noticing how dry and raw it felt each time she swallowed. With a small sigh, she reached a hand over to place atop the redhead's. Her thumb softly caressed over each knuckle.

"I'm fine, hon. I just—I'm sorry ya had to see my dad like that. That's why I don't like to have ya over when he's home, he ain't a nice drunk."

"You have nothing to be sorry about, kid. It's you I'm worried about. You look so scared and timid, what's the matter? Is your dad—when he's drunk, does he—"

"Does he hurt me? Is that what you're askin'? No, Nicky, of course not. Never, he-he'd never do that." It was hard for even Lorna to believe her own lie. She didn't have the chance to add anything else from the sound of her father's stomping up the stairs growing nearer her bedroom. Only a matter of minutes passed by before the door was swung open and Lorna felt her body spring forward, landing face first against the hardwood floor.

It didn't take much for Lorna to see just how drunk her father was as he stammered into the bedroom. She instinctively grabbed a hold of Nicky's hand and pulled her up onto her bed. She sat on the edge of the mattress trying her best to shield her girlfriend from whatever Mr. Morello was about to do. The thought of his trying to harm Nicky brought an intense upsurge of queasiness over her. There was no way she'd ever allow her own father to lay a hand on the one person—other than her siblings—who showed her what it was like to be truly and utterly loved. Over her dead body would she, she angrily thought.

The scent of alcohol radiated quite potently from Mr. Morello's entire body. He towered angrily over his youngest daughter's petite frame, peering down at her with a fury lurking in his dark brown eyes. "You don't fuckin' walk away from me when I'm speaking to ya, you hear me little girl?" Saliva fell from his mouth and landed on Lorna's cheek, who grimaced at the unpleasant contact. The unconcealed terror that displayed on his daughter's face received no reaction from him. Instead, he smacked his hand roughly against the cheek his saliva had fell upon only seconds earlier.

Rage boiled in Nicky's veins. Acting on impulse, she jumped up from underneath the Italian girl and turned to glare menacingly up at the man who, unfortunately, fathered her beloved girlfriend. It wasn't an entirely shocking revelation that Mr. Morello was an abusive drunk—she had a gut sensation early on that something was wrong. And, now, she had all the confirmation she needed to know that Lorna was in danger. Her arms quickly wrapped around the petite girl's tremoring frame, eyes never once faltering from their fixed gaze on the man who stood above them.

"Don't touch her," she hissed, letting her arms pull Lorna closer to her body. Desperately trying to shield her from the man who she now deemed evil and vile. Her eyes glared daggers over at the intoxicated Italian father of her beloved girlfriend. To have seen anyone—especially a parent—lay a harmful hand on someone as kind and caring as Lorna, oh did that easily form a fire in her chest. How anyone could ever even think to hurt Lorna made her sick inside.

"Excuse you? Who the fuck do ya think you are? I'm Lorna's father and therefore I have the right to do whatever I so please with her. You can get the fuck outta my house, little bitch," Mr. Morello hurled back at the unfamiliar teen who had her arms around his daughter. The sight shocked him but then his eyes darkened a shade. Had that redhead snot turned his little girl into a damn dyke? The question whirled through his already spinning mind.

The small brunette quickly interjected, bouncing up from her girlfriend's arms to shove at her father. Nothing infuriated her more than hearing someone talk so menacingly towards her sweet Nicky. "Yeah you're my dad, which means you can insult and yell at me all ya want but don't ever call my girlfriend such cruel names like bitch. Ya don't even know her and-and ya have no right to be so mean to her," Lorna shrieked; rage-filled tears lined the bottom of her eyes, threatening to spill out at any moment.

Joe instantly saw red and grabbed Lorna harshly from the bed, body slamming her against the cold wooden floorboards. He let his other hand forcefully come in contact with her cheek again. Not only fuming to know that his daughter was, indeed, in a homosexual relationship but also disappointed and ashamed of such choices she had made. He dug his nails gruffly into the flesh and peered fiercely into her eyes. "Your girlfriend? This little fucker is your girlfriend, huh? Ya mean to tell me I have a dyke for a daughter?"

"Stop calling her names," the brunette exasperatedly cried out.

It didn't matter that she was slightly lying on her own bedroom floor in pain. What truly mattered most to her was making sure her father hadn't tried to physically attack her girlfriend. She tried to push herself back up but felt her father's fist come in contact with her abdomen. The sharpness of the pain caused a high-pitched yelp to escape from her throat, however, she gripped onto the side of her bed to help pull herself up from the ground.

Nicky operated on compulsion, snaking her arms snug around Lorna's body and scooping her up so that she was able to quickly frisk her way out of the room and back down the stairway towards the front door of the house. There were noticeable footsteps following closely behind, however, she continued on the path without hesitation until she pushed open the door and ran towards her car. She opened the passenger side door, carefully situating Lorna in the seat, and then hurriedly made her way to the driver's side to start the vehicle.

With the car safely locked, Nicky took a moment to catch her breath. Her eyes averted over at Lorna and she felt her heart catch in her throat. She cautiously reached a hand over to cover lovingly atop the brunette's. Thumb stroked tenderly over pale knuckles. There was faint yelling coming from the porch of the Morello house, but she kept her focus on the clearly distraught girl beside her. She swallowed thickly, continuing the soothing motion on her hand.

"Lorna," her voice softly called out. Empathy displayed on her face as she peered her over with a searing intensity. After all that just took place, she couldn't help but wonder how long that had been going on for. How long had her girlfriend been dealing with a drunken father—how often had she had to put up with his intoxicated insults and physical violence.

The younger girl gradually turned her head to return Nicky's gaze. Anguish that emanated from her face had Lorna lift a hand to cup around a soft cheek. "I'm okay, hon. I'm so sorry ya had to see that," she murmured, brushing her fingers lightly along the outline of Nicky's jaw.

Nicky shook her head. She placed her other hand over the one cradled against her cheek and gave a sad stare into her girlfriend's brown eyes. "You aren't the one who needs to be sorry, doll. It's your asshat of a father who should be fucking begging you for your forgiveness. What he did to ya was absolutely disgusting. No real father would ever physically hurt their own child," she commented, anger quickly overpowering her words. The memory alone was enough to enrage her but saying it aloud—oh, it made her long to smash whatever she could get her hands on. All she could do to keep herself from exploding was to grit her teeth tightly together. She couldn't risk upsetting Lorna any more than she certainly already was.

"It doesn't matter what he did to me, Nicky. I'm mad at him for tryna come after you—you, you're like my angel and he-he called ya such evil names. I wish I could kill him for that. You're the one person who, who really cares about me—the one person who loves me in a way no one else has ever before and-and for my dad to berate ya like he did, I just—I want to stab him over and over with a knife."

Nicky's heart quickly turned into a puddle of mush inside of her. Even when everything was going wrong and all the cards appeared to be stacked so heavily against Lorna, she never failed to be the naturally affectionate, caring person she was. And that always caused a warm, tingly, chill to course through her spine. Her eyes glazed slightly over as they held their gaze on the brunette's face. "You don't have to worry about me, baby, I'm fine and I'd fight him off if he tried anything," she softly assured her. "You matter to me, Lorna, so what he fucking did to ya does matter. I just don't understand how any person could have a reason to hurt you. I'm so beyond pissed I can't even think of a word for it. I just want your dad to cease to exist right now. And if you think I'm letting ya go back into that house tonight—or ever—you better wipe that thought away. No chance in hell."

However, with the two teens hyper focused on their conversation, neither one realized Mr. Morello's presence outside until they heard the piercing sound of a gun going off not too far from the car.