Chapter Thirty-Seven
The brunette teen didn't move from her spot or feel the need to open her mouth to say anything. Instead, she slightly turned her head at the sound of footsteps and watched sadly as the CPS worker walked back towards the front door, leaving her there to acquaint herself with her new family. Temporary family she had to keep reminding herself. These people were only a temporary family, surely, her older sister would soon be applying for guardianship of her and she'd be out of the Chapman's house in no time. At least that was what she tried her hardest to convince herself of.
Hearing the front door closing shut, Lorna instinctively shuddered and finally moved her focus back on the family that still appeared to be standing in front of her. Those smiles hadn't faltered even the slightest from Bill's and Carol's faces, she uneasily noted. She slightly moved her head so that her eyes landed on the son and daughter of the superficial Mr. and Mrs. Chapman. At least they didn't seem as fake as their parents, she silently thought.
"Well, Lorna, why don't you come join us in the sitting room for some tea? It would make for a great chance for us all to get to know each other," Bill was the one to first address the teen girl; the smile on his face still fused there.
He motioned for her to follow him down the long hallway and into the family room that was through an elegant archway right off the kitchen. While everyone else settled onto the sofas and recliner, he took it upon himself to go and grab the tray of tea that had already been prepared for the awaiting arrival of their foster child.
Taking in the view of the room she now resided in, there was an even larger uneasiness that formed within her. The wooden floor sparkled beneath her feet, clearly professionally cleaned every day, her eyes simply noticed. A few sculptures were placed on either side of the entertainment system that took up space in the middle of the room and it was obvious to her that they had to have cost a pretty penny. She shifted her eyes and caught glimpse of a glimmering chandelier hanging down from the ceiling. The more she studied the place the more she realized that these people weren't just rich but in fact wealthy.
She didn't know why but the thought alone of staying with such wealthy people made her incredibly uncomfortable. She didn't have the first clue as to what being wealthy was like. Her family barely scraped by most days, even more so after her mother's diagnoses of cancer. They hardly had the money to pay for all of those medical bills and yet, here was a family that probably spent more on that damn chandelier than the total for all of her mother's cancer treatment. That fact on its own—or maybe it wasn't a fact, she didn't know—had her skin unnervingly crawling.
When Mr. Chapman returned, a few moments later, Lorna realized she'd been the only one still standing. And all of their eyes were on her as well which only added to her frantic discomfort. She averted her eyes on a vacant spot on the sofa, far away from the other two who occupied it, and timidly went over to sit down. None of this felt real. It was like a dream or—better yet—a hallucination. Maybe she'd hallucinated all of the past two weeks since she'd attended that party with Nicky. Maybe she'd overdosed on that marijuana she'd smoked and was lying unconscious in a hospital somewhere. That sounded like a plausible reason unlike the situation she found herself in presently.
The middle-aged blond man handed everyone a cup of the tea before taking one for himself and having a seat on the crème suede armchair that was separated from his wife's recliner by a wooden end-table. He crossed a leg slightly over his other as if he were about to read the morning paper but instead of placing a newspaper on his man-made table, he set his teacup onto his lap. His eyes glanced over at the brunette—who amidst his own family looked like a sore thumb sticking out—and plastered the same smile from earlier back on his face.
"How old are you, Lorna?"
Such an inquiry came as a surprise to the teen. Had these people not been informed of even the basic information about herself? What kind of people blindly agree to fostering a child without even asking for the basics? She felt even more uncomfortable than before. Swallowing her emotions, however, Lorna turned her head somewhat so that her eyes were peering in the direction of Mr. Chapman. "I'm fifteen. Did ya just agree to foster some random kid without even asking for a name or age?"
Both the older adults returned her gaze with a faint look of shock. Lorna had to refrain from rolling her eyes.
Mrs. Chapman sipped her tea frivolously while looking over the young brunette with unreadable eyes of her own. She patted her hands over her skirt to flatten the wrinkles. "No, of course not. We just want you to feel comfortable is all, Lorna. Do you have any siblings of your own?"
Lorna inhaled a sharp breath, trying to keep herself in check. The question seemed innocent enough, however, coming from the middle-aged blonde woman's mouth it caused a knot to form in the pit of her stomach. There was something sketchy about the couple, she mentally noted, they appeared subtly disingenuous. Her hands cradled around the tiny teacup—a fancy piece of China nevertheless that felt foreign in her hands—and brought it to her lips for a small sip.
"I got an older sista and brotha. My sista is applying to be my legal guardian so I shouldn't be here for long," she stated, bouncing her shoulders in a shrug.
"Legal guardian, huh?"
It came as a surprise when Lorna realized it was the younger blond boy who spoke up in response to her. She shifted a bit in her seat, focusing her eyes on the cup in her hands.
Cal, who sat Indian-style on the cushion beside his older sister, looked over at Lorna with a thoughtful expression on his face. "I have to admit I'd be a little weirded out if Pipes over here decided to file for legal guardianship over me. Does it not freak you out to have your sister as a possible guardian of you in the future?"
Shaking her head at her son's remark, Carol shot a look in his direction. Cal Chapman was a different breed of Chapman compared to the rest of them; she had come to the conclusion when he was in elementary school and she received a call from his teacher claiming he'd been peeing on a bush outside on the playground at recess each day. She ran a hand through her hair. "That's enough, Cal. Lorna's obviously in a totally different situation than you are."
"It was a valid question," Cal answered back, throwing his hands up.
Mr. Chapman curved his eyebrows up but didn't add anything on the subject. Instead, he focused his attention back on the only brunette in the room and took in a breath of air. He wasn't entirely sure what possessed he and his wife to look into fostering—they'd never really considered it before. Before their eldest son became a doctor and dealt with patients of all walks of life including minors in the system of the state, that was. The stories he would tell them always seemed to pull on Bill's heart. And with their family's wealth, he figured the least he—they—could do was help those who weren't quite as fortunate.
Lorna felt his eyes on her and instantly tensed up at the realization. She finished her cup of tea and returned the gaze. Her mind still couldn't wrap itself around the events of the day. How that morning she was peacefully asleep in her own bed at Franny's apartment and now she was sitting on the sofa of her rich foster family's home. It was merely incomprehensible to her. No matter how long she tried, she couldn't make sense of any of it.
"I just—I wanna go home," she mumbled pleadingly. To not even know how long she would have to stay with the Chapman's made her physically ill. She didn't want to be stuck with them—those people who hardly knew her, who clearly didn't even ask the CPS people about her before agreeing to take her in. Something about the whole thing didn't feel right to her.
"This is your home for now, Lorna," Mr. Chapman assured her, nodding his head to emphasize his point.
This is your home. The statement repeated in her mind and she felt her body convulse a slight amount. She didn't like the sound of that. Even having the thought in her head was distasteful. Bitter like black coffee. That home certainly wasn't and never would be her home. It was a temporary arrangement, she mentally reassured herself, temporary. Just like her dad's hospital stay was temporary. And her mother's business trip. Then came the harsh reality that once her dad was discharged from the hospital, he'd have custody of her returned to him and not Franny. The temporary arrangement would only lead her right back to where she was before. It was a never ending cycle. Even if Franny was able to have legal guardianship granted, Mr. Morello would find a way to overturn it. Lorna would never truly be free of her father until she turned eighteen, she displeasingly came to acknowledge.
Noticing the tears falling along her pale cheeks, Mrs. Chapman clapped her hands together and deterred her eyes over onto her daughter. Emotions were something she didn't take part in, so, she plastered a smile on her face and broke the silence, "Piper, I think now would be a great time for you to show Lorna to the room she'll be staying in." She waved a hand over towards the lavish staircase.
The younger blonde woman nodded attentively—borderline submissively—and pushed herself up from her spot on the couch. She waved a hand in the air, nearly identical to how her mother had only seconds ago, using it to gesture for the teen girl to follow her. Once she noticed Lorna standing up and walking towards her, Piper led them up the stairs and down the hall until they came across one of the guestrooms. She pulled on the handle to open the door and walked inside, turning just enough to make sure the other was still behind her.
Entering inside behind the taller woman, Lorna let her eyes look meticulously around the room. It was a lot more than what she anticipated. That wasn't the type of environment she had thought she'd be sent off to. She felt highly out of place there. They were a normal family and she was the opposite of that. Now, probably infecting them with her abnormal ways. She wasn't good enough to be in a house like theirs.
Sucking in a puff of air, she pushed away the emotions that were attempting so hard to escape and set her suitcase on the ground beside the dresser that sat slightly to the left of the door. For a guestroom, it was a little too extravagant for her comfort. She didn't even feel comfortable wearing her shoes in there as though they would scuff up the beautiful shinning wood underneath them.
"It's a real nice room," she muttered, averting her eyes onto the blonde who stood in the doorway that segregated the bedroom from the hallway.
Piper smiled kindly at her and shrugged her shoulders. Her parents—mostly her mom—were a little senseless when it came to house décor, she came to that conclusion at a young age. "Yeah, it's a bit much. My mom always has to have the best of the best, I guess." Her shoulders recoiled upwards once more.
Nodding slightly, the younger girl shifted her eyes away to focus up on the ceiling for a moment. Another profligate chandelier hung down from it, one much like the one down in the living room—or as, apparently, the Chapmans' referred to it, the sitting room—but slightly less colossal. It wasn't that she felt appalled to now be surrounded by all those fancy materialistic items, it was just that she hadn't been accustomed to such a drastically different lifestyle than the one she came from. A lot to take in and digest, she found all of that to be.
The atmosphere wasn't exactly an unpleasant one but it certainly hadn't been entirely too comforting either. It was the same sensation she could acquaint to the aura of a waiting room in any hospital she'd ever been forced to sit in. She swallowed the building saliva and looked back towards Piper. At least, she thought, Piper seemed less superficial than her mother.
"How old are you?" Lorna broke the silence after staring her over methodically for several passing moments.
"I'm nineteen," the blonde responded.
The shorter girl nodded and felt her eyebrows slightly curve upwards. Her answer only made Lorna's desire to be an adult stronger. She sighed, four years—rather three, her mind quickly corrected—seemed like an absolute eternity to her. To finally have the autonomy over her own life sounded like heaven to her but the wait for it was going to be a treacherous one. "Nineteen? Must be nice being an adult, hmm? I can't wait til' I turn eighteen. I wanna be able to make decisions for myself," Lorna muttered the last part in a softer, merely inaudible voice.
Bouncing her shoulders in a shrug, the blonde felt an innate breath erupt through her windpipe from her lungs. Sure, being an adult had its perks, yet she still found herself needing to reside under parents' roof. "Eh, it's nice but I don't feel any different than when I was seventeen. I attend university now and I don't have to ask my parents to sign forms like back in high school. So, yeah, I guess that's liberating."
Lorna shook her head slightly. Maybe it was their differing upbringings that made the woman standing in front of her talk about being adult like it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. But, in her mind, she couldn't understand how anyone wouldn't feel relieved—maybe even a little excited—at the thought of finally having the legal right over their own life. Was it not normal to grow up feeling completely out of control? The question pondered through her mind as she stared the other over.
"I just wanna make decisions for myself," was her mumbled response, she focused her eyes on her suitcase that now lie on the floor next to the dresser and let out a breath of air. It hadn't even been an hour since she arrived at the foster family's house and she was already ready to leave. She had no clue how she was going to make it through however long she had to stay there.
Not knowing what else to say on that particular matter, Piper gave an uneasy nod and signaled her hand towards the mahogany tinted dresser to abruptly change the focus onto a different—more prevalent—issue. "You can, um, go ahead and put your clothes in the drawers here. Might as well make yourself comfortable while you're staying here with us," she cautiously pointed out.
"So, kid, are ya gonna maybe tell me what's bothering you?" Alex threw out her question as she sat on the recliner that resided on the other side of the end-table, which separated her from Nicky—who had been sitting solemnly on the sofa ever since she arrived a half hour earlier.
Shortly after watching Lorna forcibly taken away by the CPS worker, Nicky made the impulsive decision to drive herself over to Alex's house. The only thing she could think to do subsequently witnessing such a distressing tribulation. Aside from her girlfriend, Alex was truly one of her only other closest friends. One of the only other people she really trusted enough to be open with. Hell, she'd been best friends with the black-haired woman for nearly a year before ever even meeting Lorna. So, it made perfect sense to her that she'd chosen to go over to Alex's place after what happened.
Expelling a rather sharp breath of air from her lungs, Nicky reached for her mug of coffee—that immediately upon her arrival the older woman had rapidly prepared—and took a long, thoughtful, sip. "Lorna was taken to a foster family by some asshat of a CPS lady," she stated with an irritated roll of her eyes. The memory of such instantly brought her anger boiling once again.
Eyes widening gradually at her friend's response, the older woman sipped her own coffee and squinted her eyes interestedly. CPS? What possible reason could they have to take Lorna from her home? And that was when she remembered the small—or perhaps huge—detail that her mother had died several months earlier. Maybe that had something to do with it, she pondered silently. Her head shook in contradiction to that thought. That hadn't made any sense.
"She's in the foster system now?" Alex queried, an eyebrow quirked over heavily curious eyes. She watched as the other nodded with a melancholic expression upon her face. "Wow. For what reason? I mean I know her mother had passed—" When she realized what she almost let slip out, Alex hurriedly stopped herself by covering a hand over her mouth and deterring her eyes onto the floor.
"Woah, woah, woah, hold on a minute. What're ya talkin' about, Vause? Lorna's mother passed what? You know somethin' about her mom?" Nicky quickly interjected, placing her cup onto a coaster on the coffee table in front of the couch she sat on and turning to give the dark-haired woman a heated stare. That couldn't be accurate, she must have misheard Alex. Lorna never talked about her mom, never mentioned her other than the one time she stated her living out of state for her job.
Alex quickly bit down on her tongue. Cursed herself for letting that blurt from her mouth. It wasn't her place to say anything on any matter, she knew. She didn't know if Lorna had been open with Nicky about the death of her mother and she certainly wasn't going to be the one to break it to her if that were the case. "Her mother had passed state lines for business is what I heard from Franny, but I figured she was living with their father still. I'm surprised to hear about CPS coming to take her away. Why wouldn't her sister just take her in? What even happened for CPS to come?"
Shaking her head dejectedly, Nicky held up a hand and waved it profusely in direction of her friend's face. "No, no, no. I'm not stupid, Vause. Passed state lines isn't what ya were really gonna say, is it? What happened to Lorna's mom? Do ya know somethin' about her that I don't?"
To say Alex was uncomfortable would be a bit of an understatement. She swallowed thickly, her eyes looking anywhere but in the redhead's. For she knew that girl had all knowing eyes. She could read people like a book. Instead, she reached for her mug and took an extensive, mind-numbing, sip of the warm liquid inside. It gave her a moment to figure out how she was going to respond to Nicky's heated interrogation. The last thing she wanted was to violate the trust of either of her two friends.
"Look, Nicky, I don't want to say anything that she hasn't revealed to you on her own. Not because I don't think you have the right to know because you do…but I can't be the one to break anyone's trust here," the older woman truthfully answered, reaching a free hand up to massage one of her temples. She mentally facepalmed herself at the stupid words she just allowed herself to speak. Why couldn't she have just kept at the business story that she had already given moments ago? A sigh erupted from her larynx.
"What the fuck are ya gettin' at here, Alex? What's going on with Lorna's mom? I don't understand how you would know over me…I mean I'm Lorna's girlfriend, why the hell would she keep shit like that from me?"
Oh boy. The thought ran through Alex's mind as she peered into her mug that she cradled rather tightly in her hands. She really dug herself into a ditch now, she told herself. There was no digging herself out without revealing the truth to Nicky. Lying was not something she ever took lightly. She avoided it at all costs when possible. And, now, she refused to take part in the lie. Shutting her eyes, she rolled her neck slowly around her shoulders in an effort to crack the bones.
"Okay, I'll tell you what I know but please keep in mind that none of this was purposefully kept hidden from you. It wasn't even something that was supposed to be shared with me, really. But I overheard a conversation between Franny and Lorna during one a my shifts a couple weeks ago, very unintentional might I add. I tried not to listen but they were loud and it's not like I had ear plugs or anything," Alex recoiled her shoulders somewhat. She took a sip of coffee.
Swallowing the bold liquid, Alex casually threw her hands up and continued recalling the conversation, "Anyway, they were talking or maybe arguing and Franny brought up their mother and how Lorna wasn't okay since her death. Then Lorna kinda dismissed it sayin' their mom was on some business trip or somethin'. To make a long story short, Lorna and Franny's mom passed away."
Nicky squinted her eyes and shook her head. Replacing her cup of coffee in her hands, she looked inside of it and shook her head a second time. What was just shared with her couldn't have been true. Lorna would have shared something so serious with her, she tried to rationalize in her mind. Because she could not fathom how her girlfriend could keep a thing so important from her. She momentarily distracted herself by gulping down the rest of her coffee. Anything to take her thoughts off of Lorna for even only a second.
"No, that's clearly not true. Lorna would have told me if something like that had happened. She's my girlfriend for Christ sake, of course she'd a let me know if her mom died. Alex, are ya sure ya didn't just overhear the wrong words?"
Sighing, the older woman wished she hadn't have ever even let it slip out about her coworker's and friend's mother in the first place. Now, she sat amidst her own dug up grave. And she had no clue how to get herself out of it without causing more uproar between she and Nicky. Her eyes averted back onto the redhead, observing her closely. It was quite clear how displeased the young teen appeared with the current quandary.
That was her own doing, she confirmed. Another breath pushed up from her throat. She really hoped she wasn't unintentionally causing any turmoil between the two teens by disclosing all of what she knew to Nicky. To be the reason those two would ever stop communication certainly hadn't sat too well with her—that was the last thing she ever intended to do. "It wasn't Lorna I heard it from, Nicky, it was Franny. According to Franny, their mom died from liver cancer and Lorna's very much in denial about it. Her words not mine. Which I guess now I can kinda make sense of the whole CPS thing…or not. I still can't figure that one out. I thought their dad was still around, at least."
"Well, when did their mom die? Did it just happen? I mean neither one a them ever bring her up so that just makes no sense to me. I fucking went with Lorna to her therapy appointment this morning and neither one a them said anything about their mother's death. If what you're saying is true, wouldn't that be a topic brought up in therapy? What the hell am I missing here?"
"Um, well, also according to Franny, their mom passed away several months ago. Now, please, Nicky think before you react. Lorna has no idea that you know any of this. And, I did not ask to know this. When I found out, it was purely by accident. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and maybe it was dumb of me to not mention this to ya sooner…but again, I wasn't even ever supposed to find out about this. Just keep all of that in mind before you say anything," the words rambled from between Alex's lips. The more uneasy she felt, the faster the words spilled out.
Drawing in a long, intense, breath was the only thing Nicky could do in that moment to keep herself calm. Her eyes gradually shut as she let her brain try to interpret the news seconds prior given to her. She swallowed a bit too much air and placed a hand on either side of her face. Lorna had gone through the loss of a parent and never once thought to mention that in any of their conversations. Knowing that now brought a sharp pang to her chest. She couldn't fathom how Lorna retained that from her. Why would she even want to keep such a dark secret like the death of a loved one locked away? Nicky couldn't make sense of any of it in all honesty.
Her eyes finally shifted up across at Alex, peering into her blue ones in a rather frenzied manner. A frown molded onto her face while she held her gaze. She noticed the blatant apprehension which sat on the older woman's and sighed. None of this was Alex's fault, she reasoned, even though she'd chosen not to tell her sooner. "I would say you were in the right place at the right time, not the other way around. I mean if ya weren't there, I'd never know that my girlfriend's been fucking secretly grieving the past however many months its been. How long ago was this?"
"I guess looking at it that way, it makes more sense. This was a few weeks ago I found out. I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner but I just—I didn't think it's really my place to. This was Lorna's news to share not mine but now I can't undo anything," the black-haired woman threw up her hands in exasperation.
God, she hated herself for getting herself in a situation such as this to even begin with. A sigh escaped, she turned slightly so that her eyes were peering out the window. The sun appeared distant in the sky now, slowly descending its way down the horizon. Spring was only a week away; the trees showing very small buds of leaves starting to rebloom upon the branches. At least that was an upside compared to everything else going the opposite direction, she thought.
"I can't really be mad at ya, Alex. Even though I really, really want to be," Nicky admitted with both eyebrows arched over her brown eyes that now emanated obvious contempt through them. It wasn't Alex's fault that she hadn't been aware of her girlfriend's mother's death, she acknowledged. However, that didn't take away from her desire to display the anger and betrayal she so clearly experienced upon hearing the news.
A disgruntled breath of air eluded through her airway. "I am frustrated that Lorna didn't feel like this was something worth sharing with me. I can't comprehend what reason she would do some shit like that. Can you?"
Rubbing at her temples, Alex felt her nerves fraying more than usual. "Honestly, kid, I don't think Lorna purposefully kept this from you. I think, at least from what Franny said, I think Lorna's really denying that their mom died and that's why she hasn't told ya about it. She seems to not want to admit it out loud because she doesn't want it to be true. I mean I can relate to that somewhat. When I lost my mom last year, I didn't wanna admit that for a while either because that would make it feel real. So yeah I can see where she's coming from. Of course to everyone else around her it makes absolutely no sense. But, again, we're not in her mind to know what she's thinking. Ya know?"
Running her hands over the sides of each of her cheeks, Nicky slowly nodded. Hearing her friend's take on the whole debacle seemed to help her piece together the reasoning behind Lorna's refusal to be open with her about it all. Did she understand it? Not at all, but she did her best to take Alex's words to heart. It wasn't like she was able to get inside her girlfriend's mind and know exactly every minute detail that had been running through it. Though, she certainly would give anything to be able to have that chance.
"I guess what you're saying makes sense. It just hurts that Lorna wouldn't feel safe enough to tell me about this, ya know? I mean I love her more than anything in the world, I would do anything for her. I can't understand why she would feel like she couldn't be open with me about her mom. Does she not know how much I love her?"
It wasn't hard for Alex to pick up on the franticness that seeped from the younger girl's voice. She couldn't say she hadn't blamed her for any of her thoughts she just shared. Those were valid things to think given the situation. When it was hard to understand the loss of someone so close and its effects on one's mind, those thoughts would be deemed normal by anyone. However, Alex had experienced the death of her own mother and could relate almost to a T to what Lorna might have possibly been feeling and so if she shared those same thoughts that Nicky was currently having, for herself they would be completely void of any rationality.
The entire situation was conflicting to Alex. She was able to relate to both of her dear friends and, yet, couldn't figure out how to help either. A lump formed in her stomach. She loathed that she was in the middle of everything. How could she remain objective when she cared for both Nicky and Lorna? The question ran rapid through her mind. "Ya know I can't really speak for Lorna. I don't know what she's thinking or why she wouldn't tell you about this. But I can say that I've been through the loss of my own mom and it's not an easy thing to deal with. So, in a way, I could understand why she might be hesitant to open up to you about it. But other than that, I can't tell you how she's feeling because I don't know. I'm sorry, Nicky, I know it hurts. I wish I could be of more help, really. I just, I don't wanna put words in anyone's mouths."
Nicky sighed. Anger slowly dissipated. It wasn't really anger she felt towards either Lorna or Alex, the more she took the time to think things through. It was more the fact that she merely hadn't been aware of all of that had been happening to her girlfriend, which was what truly upset her. The situation, the not knowing, the being left in the dark—those were all the things that caused an anguish within her. If anything, she thought, Franny should have been the one to say something about all of this to her. Franny clearly knew how much love and care Nicky held for Lorna. Why wouldn't she have felt that was important enough for her to bring this up to her? Was Franny secretly harboring disapproval towards the relationship between she and Lorna? The questions and thoughts whirled heavily through her mind. All she wanted was to understand why nobody felt it was important enough for her to know everything that was going on in her own girlfriend's life. And, the only person she could think to blame was Franny. That was the only conclusion that appeared logical to her.
