Author's Note: I just want to thank those who are still reading this story, it really means a lot to me. I'm also sorry that it's so excruciatingly slowly paced, I have so much I want to accomplish with this story but I can certainly be way too wordy (more often than not) and I'm so sorry for that.


Chapter Thirty-Nine

The shorter brunette gave a timid nod while walking slightly nearer the older woman. There was something about Miss Warren that made her feel safe—she had a comforting aura surrounding her, Lorna believed. She didn't need to contemplate for long how to respond to her inquiry; there was an unspoken trust between them which had been built upon since their first encounter many weeks earlier. She let a breath of air expel from her lungs before allowing herself to voice her answer.

"Yeah, I-I was um trapped in there." Her eyes averted down on the tiles beneath where she stood. Mentally counting each colored spec that made up its pattern.

"Trapped as in someone shoved ya in there?" Suzanne asked, setting the mop that was previously in her hands aside and placing them on each of her hips. Her brown eyes gazed ahead into the teen's, watching as she slowly bobbed her head up and down in response. Without even needing to ask who could have done something so atrocious, a certain blonde-haired teen came to Suzanne's mind. "Hmm, is it that girl with the blonde hair? The one who made those comments to ya in the bathroom a while ago?" It made sense that she could have been the one who'd done it, Suzanne thought, that child seemed a bit too on edge for her liking.

Lorna swallowed a lump in her throat; she felt tears forming along the bottom of her eyelids and hurriedly sucked them in to stop them from spilling outwards. Her hand immediately was brought up to her face, wiping beneath the lids of her eyes for safe measure. So much for a decent day of school, she thought. As if her life hadn't already been turned upside down enough, this incident had be added to the list. She drew in a breath and moved her hand to the top of her head in order to habitually slick back her brown waves. "Um, yeah. She was just kinda playing a little joke on me is all. No big deal."

Hearing her explanation, Suzanne narrowed her eyes a small amount as if that alone would be able to assist her in deciphering whether it was an honest one or not. She brought a hand up and tapped it methodically against one of her temples. "I may be wrong but isn't being shoved in a locker kind of the opposite of a joke? That blondie girl wasn't too nice to you that other time, either, I remember. So are you sure she's not possibly bullying you?"

She deterred her eyes across at Lorna and held her other hand up in the air to yield her attention. "I only ask because I, too, was bullied in school and kind of thought the same way you are now. I thought the other kids were just joking with me but they really were just tryna hurt me. Least that's what my therapist pointed out to me years later," her shoulders casually recoiled upwards.

"You, uh, you were bullied? How did ya keep people from finding out? I mean not that that's what I'm dealing with or nothing. Just, ya know, curious." The question was worded in such a way that it disguised what she was expecting to keep hidden. She let her eyes wander to the row of lockers behind Miss Warren and discretely longed for the other's answer to somehow advise her on how to make sure no one ever found out about Annalisa's cruel behavior towards her.

Folding her arms over her chest, the janitor tilted her head slightly while allowing her brown eyes to gaze Lorna over relatively sternly. She couldn't quite figure out the young teen. It was certainly palpable to her that Lorna was dealing with something more than she had been letting onto. And the more she let her mind ponder over it, the more her concern grew. She didn't want to unknowingly encourage her to keep up whatever it was when it seemed to be causing self-destruction.

"I didn't know I was being bullied when it was happening that's why no one else knew. But to me, it kind of looks like this blondie girl is bullying you. And if that's the case, I can't let it keep happening. That would be wrong and against the rules. It's not good to break rules, ya know that? Do ya wanna tell me what's going on with you and her?"

The brunette felt her heart nearly drop into her stomach. How had the school janitor been so easily able to see through to the truth when even her school counselor hadn't? She swallowed a wad of saliva and scratched her knuckles along the side of her face. Of course, she rationalized, Miss Warren was the only person to be there when Annalisa had seemingly been taunting her. That clearly had to be the only reason she was able to figure out the truth versus any other adults in the building.

Still, Lorna wasn't very fond with such realization. That meant she had to actually come clean about what was going on, which wasn't something she felt ready to do quite yet. She inhaled a sharp breath and moved the hand from her cheek back to her hair so she could run it through like a comb once again. A motion that was like a security blanket to her now.

"She just, I don't know. She doesn't really like me so she kinda picks on me a lot. But that's normal, ain't it? I mean everyone gets picked on sometimes, right?"

Suzanne slowly shook her head at the query. Back in her school days, she more than likely would have agreed with Lorna on that—she, too, had normalized being picked on by the other kids in her class. But in the present, after having been through therapy, she acknowledged that it wasn't typically normal for students to mistreat others in such a way that it caused them to have recurring nightmares each night or panic attacks when going to the mall.

"No, I don't think it's normal anymore. When I was your age, I would say the same but no, it's not. I mean I know my therapist told me that there was a difference between bullying and picking fun at someone. And I would lean my beliefs toward this girl is bullying ya more so than just picking on you. Because shoving people in lockers isn't something a friend would do as a sort of joke, does that make sense?"

As much as the older woman's words factually declared through Lorna's ears, her mind convinced her otherwise. It wasn't okay for her to allow anyone else in on her sufferings. No one needed to be dragged into that mess, her inner voice reminded her. No matter how appealing it sounded to finally let everything slip up, it wasn't something she deserved. If she had been deserving of anything of that sort she wouldn't have been dealt the life she was currently existing in.

Coming out of her thoughts, Lorna sucked in some air and pursed her lips into a smile. She needed to go back to pretending her life wasn't completely falling apart. Pretending would make everything better, she prompted herself. At least it used to do that before she met people who actually took the slightest of interest in her. "I mean I guess that makes sense. But it's not like she shoves me in lockers on a regular basis or nothin'. I just I guess I piss her off sometimes. S'okay though. I'll just have to make sure I avoid her is all."

"But it's not really okay. It's not okay to excuse that kinda stuff when it's harmful to you, Lorna. Now I know I'm just a school janitor but I still will not sit back when it's real obvious to me that another student is mistreating you this way. Come with me, let's go see the counselor. At least she'll be able to help more than what I can do," Suzanne suggested, turning to walk towards the door.

Lorna immediately shook her head at such a recommendation; the last thing she wanted to happen right now was for any more incidents of hers to be broadcasted to any other people. Because clearly if Annalisa had somehow heard of the whole gun fiasco with her father via the news then surely so had the rest of her classmates. She wasn't going to add being bullied to that list of what everyone knew about her.

"But I'm not asking for help. I don't want or need to be helped," she pointed out while exasperatingly throwing her hands up in the air.

Standing with her back against the door that separated the locker room from the gymnasium, the older woman crossed her arms over her chest and stared perceptively at Lorna. "You don't always have to ask for help to receive it, Lorna. And you may say you don't want or need it but that doesn't necessarily make it true. Now, come on."


It was a reluctant—somewhat forceful—decision that Lorna made to comply and follow Miss Warren down into her school counselor's office. The second she entered inside of it, however, her eyes nearly assumed what they saw was a hallucination of some sort. It had to be. She couldn't comprehend what reason Nicky would be doing sitting in one of the chairs that sat opposite of Mrs. Mendoza's desk. For a moment, she stood frozen in her spot by the door.

Their heads quickly turned and two sets of eyes focused their gazes on her. Probably the janitor as well who'd stood slightly to the side of the door. Nonetheless, Lorna instantly felt a queasiness meld into the pit of her stomach and chewed on her bottom lip. This was a bad idea, she told herself, she should have never given in to Suzanne's request to go with her to the guidance office.

Miss Warren cleared her throat, slightly uncomfortable to have anyone staring in her direction for too long, and gestured her hand over towards the petite brunette. "I was cleaning the girl's locker room down in the gym and found Lorna in there. I just kinda thought it might be a good idea for her to come here and talk with you about some things that I suspect may be going on with her and another student," she informed the counselor, who sat in her chair behind her desk with reading glasses covering atop her eyes.

Gloria gave a nod in the other's direction along with a friendly smile and waved her hand towards Lorna, gesturing for her to have a seat over in the chair beside where Nicky was sat.

With the door shutting behind her from the custodial worker exiting the room, Lorna swallowed thickly and wordlessly made her way over to sit down. One leg crossed over the other as she sat in the plastic chair. Her eyes slightly shifted across at Nicky, who had a somber expression shaped on her face. Sucking her bottom lip inwards, she returned her gaze onto her lap and exhaled a deep breath. There was something fishy in the air. She felt like she was playing a part in some form of intervention.

"I'm glad you were able to join us, Lorna. I tried calling down to your first period class but Mrs. Bell said ya hadn't shown up. We were beginning to worry about you," Mrs. Mendoza pointed out, narrowing her glasses a smidge so she could get a closer look at the young brunette. Her eyes studied over her carefully.

In the seat next to her, Nicky innately reached a hand over to cover over one of Lorna's and gave it a tender squeeze. After finally hearing what her beloved girlfriend had been going through for the past god-only-knew how many months, her heart swelled with a great deal of compassion and empathy for her. She couldn't even think of the words to say her just yet, rather tightened her grasp on the younger teen's hand. Silently making sure she knew that she wasn't alone anymore.

Squinting her eyes, Lorna looked the Hispanic woman over skeptically. Her inclination seemed to be right so far; there was certainly something peculiar looming through the room. She bit down on her lip and shifted her one foot that rested on the floor around out of nervousness. "So, you were planning for me to come down here no matter what? Why? What the hell is going on?" Both the counselor and Nicky wore the same dreary miens, which only added to Lorna's apprehension.

Mrs. Mendoza quickly waggled a hand in Nicky's direction to clairvoyantly inform her she would be the one to answer the query. "Yes, I've been in contact with your outpatient therapist and you know we're supposed to meet every other day during the school week. Did you forget about that, Lorna?"

"Oh, uh, no but I-I just, what's Nicky doing here? Are ya guys plotting something against me? I'm confused," the words spilled frantically from Lorna's mouth as she looked between the two of them.

To hear her girlfriend's panic-stricken interrogation, Nicky grabbed her hand and laced their fingers softly together. There was no time for her to take any of it in a personal manner not while there were so many more important things that needed to be brought forward and discussed today. At least that was what Nicky had to mentally remind herself of. She kept silent, for now, allowing only physical comfort to be given to the young brunette beside her.

"No one is plotting anything against you," the older woman assured her softly, using a thumb to push her glasses back onto the bridge of her nose. She allowed her eyes to peer Lorna over intently for a few seconds. After hearing about the current situation she was in, she felt her heart ache a slight amount for her. The foster system was no place for a child, she thought. It broke her heart.

Inhaling a breath, the counselor pulled herself out of her mind and observed the expression on the brunette teen's face carefully. "Nicky's here because she thought it might be good for ya to have someone supportive with you when we discuss what's going on in your life right now," she pointed out gently, hoping nothing she stated inadvertently upset her.

"What's going on in my life right now," Lorna repeated in more of an announcement than a question.

She squinted her eyes while trying to decode the meaning behind the counselor's revelation. How was everyone hearing about the mess she presently appeared to be in? She brushed a hand through her dark waves of hair and puffed out an airy breath. Nothing made sense to her as she sat there in the school's guidance office, wondering how any of what was occurring had even been real. Naturally, her arms folded over her chest as her eyes pierced strongly across the desk into Mrs. Mendoza's.

"I don't know what you expect me to say."

"Why don't you just tell me what's going on? How's that?" Mrs. Mendoza threw back in a way that showed she wasn't going to back down from the topic. She mirrored Lorna with her own arms folded over her chest.

Lorna bit down on her lip, chewing the side of it nervously. Her shoulders bounced up a slight amount. "Why? It's clear to me ya probably already know so what's the point in me sayin' nothin'?"

"Anything—It's anything, kid," Nicky tenderly corrected, pressing a soft kiss atop her head.

The younger teen snapped her head around to give a frustrated glance towards her girlfriend. With everything else that was whirling through her mind in that moment, a grammar lesson was one of the last things she needed. Instead of voicing her distaste at Nicky's comment—despite it being true and not made out of spite—Lorna drew in a breath and closed her eyes.

Gloria watched the interaction between the girls and felt a bit of her own uneasiness come up at hearing the redhead's good-natured correction. Right then was certainly not the best time for that, her mental voice deemed, however she wasn't going to point that out. It was clear Lorna's silence confirmed such. Rather, she chose to focus back on her own line of questioning. "I don't know anything except how worried and concerned your girlfriend is for you. What's going on? Keeping everything inside is only going to continue to hurt you, Lorna."

"I am already late to class, I don't understand why you want me to sit here and talk about that kinda stuff when I'm supposed to be in class so I don't fail and end up in this stupid school for even longer. I mean I have a therapist I talk to, so why do I have to talk to you about personal things? Ain't my grades more important?" Lorna fired out her questions, shifting which leg she had crossed over the other. Truly, it seemed highly counterproductive to her that she was sitting in this room when her grades were slipping so vastly.

Throwing a hand up and gesturing it over at Nicky, Lorna peered wide-eyed across towards the Hispanic woman. "As she pointed out, even my grammar sucks. So I think this whole counselor stuff is a waste a time. It's just making me suck even more in all the school subjects. And I do not wanna end up having to repeat ninth grade because a this."

Swallowing uneasily, Nicky only tightened her hand around her girlfriend's. Brushing her thumb delicately along the creases of the inside of the smaller girl's hand. She inhaled deeply and looked down at her with compassionate eyes. Fully knowing, now, all that Lorna had suffered through in at least the six months she'd known her she desired for nothing more than to truly be there for her and help her to work past it all. She just hoped that Lorna would be willing to allow her to do so.

"Lorna, how can you focus on your grades when there are things going on in your life that clearly seem to be weighing down on you? School work comes second when it's obvious you're going through something. Now, you can sit here and continue to make excuses or act like there's nothing wrong but I can promise you that's not going to make whatever it is go away. In fact, it would probably only make things worse."

The brunette teen shook her head sharply at Mrs. Mendoza's comment. It made her mind ponder on whether she really had known something and was only lying to make her feel better about it. Either way, the whole atmosphere that surrounded her caused her to feel a strong bout of discomfort. As if her entire existence was being torn from beneath her. She sucked in a breath, felt her throat raw and dry. Was the room suddenly humid? Sweat perspired through each pore of her flesh.

Tapping her hand against the material of the pants that covered her legs, she fixed her eyes on the window to the right of Mrs. Mendoza's desk. Sun shone through the stained glass but was unable to pour through the room like it would a normal window. "So, ya do already know whatever it is you think I don't know that you know but lied to me that you knew nothing? Am I right?"

It took both the counselor and Nicky a few seconds to process what Lorna had just recited. Gloria decided on taking a moment to reach for her cup of coffee, sipping it slowly. Needing the caffeine to push through her veins. She set it back in its spot after a few drinks of it and returned her gaze onto Lorna. "I would rather hear it from you, Lorna. You're the one who needs to mention it. What is going on in your life at this very moment?"

Lorna violently brought her hands up to place on the sides of her face and rolled her neck frustratedly around her shoulders. "I. do. Not. Know. What. You. Are. Talking. About. The only thing going in my life right now is I'm fucking failing my damn classes and instead of being in them, I'm stuck in here. Let me go to class," she cried out, moving her hands from her face and throwing them up above her head.

Growing impatient and irritated, Nicky grabbed onto the younger girl's cheeks and forcefully turned her face so that they were eye-to-eye. She peered sternly down at her, searching her over quite intently. "Stop, stop it. Stop with this fucking act, Lorna, it's beyond the point of ridiculous now. You know that's not what the fucking problem is. You know that. Stop pretending. You're not fucking okay, Lorna. Why can't you just admit that? Why can't you just fucking be real for once?"

Despite her words being on the harsher side, the redhead made sure to snake her arms death-grippingly securely around Lorna's waist so that she couldn't get up to run away as she always seemed to do when the conversation morphed into practicality. She tried to suppress her anger; it wasn't Lorna she was angry at. No, in fact, all she felt towards Lorna was compassion and empathy. But the constant pretending that she took part in was quickly wearing on her nerves.

Gloria put up a hand and waved it between the pair of them. "Let's try to not argue with each other, okay? That won't help either, Nicky. I know it upsets you to see someone you care about suffering but take it from someone who can sort of relate, being yelled at about it will only make her feel worse and that will just lead to her continuing to bottle everything up."

After receiving a reluctant nod from the redhead, Gloria narrowed her eyes over onto Lorna. That girl was one hard shell to crack, she deemed. It felt near impossible to get her to open up about anything that was going on in her life—all the more understandable it was for Nicky's outburst. To watch someone she cared about continuously refuse to acknowledge the facts had to have been tiring for her.

A breath of air naturally expelled from her lungs.

"Why don't we discuss what happened in the locker room for starters? And ya can't talk your way out of that one, honey, Miss Warren found you in there," Mrs. Mendoza questioned and gestured a hand in the air to emphasize the last part of what she spoke.

Lorna immediately bit down on her bottom lip. Trying to come up with a response to that question without having to give an honest statement mentally exhausted her. She sighed. Maybe that was the older woman's exact plan for asking her such a question. It was a trap. They wanted to stump her and manipulate her into giving them the factual information of what occurred. Of course, to anyone who wasn't Lorna, that was a logical and reasonable thing to want but Lorna hadn't been logical or reasonable in a very long time.

"I was in the locker room and I saw Miss Warren cleaning it so I talked to her because she's nice and I like her. What's the big deal?"

Lifting a hand up to her forehead, Mrs. Mendoza mechanically used it to push back her hair. She reached for her coffee cup and sipped the liquid to take a moment to recenter herself. It wasn't her place to display her frustration with Lorna. She knew Lorna's refusal to admit to anything was only a coping mechanism. A highly detrimental coping mechanism, however, a coping mechanism, nonetheless.

"Yes, and Miss Warren mentioned there might be something going on with you and another student. I see you cleverly avoided mentioning any of that, huh? Let's talk about that. Who's this student, Lorna?" Gloria folded her arms over her chest while holding an intent gaze on the petite brunette across from her.

The brunette held open her hand and slightly waved it in front of her counselor's face. "I plead the fifth," she muttered. Her eyes deterred away from Mrs. Mendoza and fixed down on her hands that sat restlessly atop her lap. Life kept getting more and more on her nerves, lately. She yearned to get up from her chair but Nicky's arm was still wrapped rather tightly around her waist. And although it initially caused a faint irritation, now such a sensation appeared to lull her and her head became heavier.

Nicky noticed the feeling of Lorna's body finally relaxing into her arms and leaned her head somewhat so that her eyes were peering down onto her. She noted the fatigue that emanated from her eyes and carefully took hold of her head, laying it softly onto her shoulder. Her hand combed soothingly through her brown waves of hair. "Babe, pleading the fifth isn't gonna make it all better. Mrs. Mendoza is right, kid, just because you refuse to talk about the problem doesn't mean the problem is gonna poof away."

The Hispanic woman nodded in agreeance with Nicky's words. "Very good point, Nicky. And anyway, pleading the fifth doesn't apply to this situation. That's something people who are being investigated for a crime would do, Lorna. You haven't been accused or committed of any crimes. You only need to be open about what you're dealing with, that's all. You wanna feel better don't you?"

"I feel fine already, though. What do I need to feel better about? The fact that everything in my life is falling apart and I can't do shit to control it? Or the fact that there's not enough counseling or therapy in the world to make me less me?"

To make Lorna less Lorna? The question repeated through Nicky's mind; she squinted her eyes as if that would help her comprehend if she'd heard her right. Her arms instinctively tightened around the petite waist they embraced. She brushed her lips warmly atop Lorna's head, wishing her kisses could poof away all of her problems. "But Lorna, beautiful, nobody wants you to be less you. That's not what getting help is for—it's not to make you less you, it's to make you more you."

Gloria clasped her hands together, nodding her head fervently in agreement with the redhead's comment. She looked her over and couldn't resist the smile that formed from the corner of her lips. It was clear to her just how much Nicky genuinely cared for Lorna's well-being and Gloria found that to be the most precious thing. That was the epitome of true friendship. "Nicky, I couldn't have said that better myself. You're a wise young lady, ya know that?"

Shifting her eyes back onto the younger teen, she gestured a hand at her and said, "Everything that your best friend just said is exactly right. We aren't here to make you less you but rather more you. That's why we push you so hard because you need to talk about the things you don't like to. That's the only way you can truly heal from the suffering, Lorna."

"No, Nicky's not my best friend. She's my girlfriend," the brunette quickly corrected while reaching to grab a hold of Nicky's hand in her own.

Albeit the frustration that loomed over her, she wasn't afraid to make sure everyone knew that the girl beside her wasn't only the best friend she'd ever had but also her girlfriend. That was something that needed to be established with anyone who thought otherwise, she mentally vowed to herself. Nicky was everything to her and she'd be damned if anyone ever even thought that she was ashamed to admit such. Because that was the one thing Lorna didn't feel any shame in—her romantic relationship with Nicky, that was something she cherished more than life itself. She took a lot of pride in their relationship.

"Oh, I'm sorry—I didn't know you two were girlfriends, Lorna, that's my bad. But lemme just say you have a very wise girlfriend," Mrs. Mendoza amended, the smile on her face not faltering in the slightest. "So, with that in mind, let's talk about the locker room mishap. What happened in there? Which student was Miss Warren referring to?"

The brunette felt a lump in the back of her throat and swallowed to try to get rid of it. Eradicating the lumpy sensation with a gulp did nothing but transfer it into her stomach. She sighed, looking down at her lap in dismay. Was it really worth it to keep up her charade? The mental fatigue it caused her only influenced physical pain to manifest within her. She sighed a second time. If she gave in and brought to light what was really going on with her, she'd only be dragging others into the same misery as well. And that wasn't what she wanted to do. She didn't want anyone else to have to hurt like she did. She didn't want Nicky to feel like she had to help her with any of it because that was a burden too heavy for her to take on. Lorna couldn't allow her to do that. She closed her eyes and sucked in a breath, retelling herself why she was keeping everything hidden in the first place. To avoid burdening the people she cared about with what even she hadn't want to be stuck dealing with.

"No one important. Can we move on from that? I don't care to talk about it anymore."

"Has anyone ever told you how stubborn you are?" Gloria asked, clearing her throat to rid it of the mucus that had gathered at the back of it. She looked her over with a searing intensity. There was not a single student she'd counseled in the past twelve years she'd worked there who was as stubborn as the one sitting across from her. A level of stubborn that certainly ensued a fierce strength of hindrance for those on the receiving end of it.

Lorna shifted her right shoulder forward and deterred her eyes back out the window. "I'm really fucking done with this. I just I want my life to be normal again, is that so bad a me to want?"

Shaking her head, Gloria felt her heart gradually start to ache. Were they on the verge of a break through? She could only hope so. There was no stopping now, she deemed. If she wore her down enough, there was a chance Lorna would finally crack and spill it all out. "What's not normal about your life right now?"

Sucking her bottom lip inwards, Lorna felt a bout of fury boiling beneath her skin. She folded her hands in her lap and tapped her feet loudly against the tiled floor beneath her. "Well, I have to sit in here with you instead of being in class like all the other students. That's not normal. You keep saying things and it's making me so mad. I just want to stop. Please, can you please stop? This is really fucking tiring. Why do you like making me mad?"

"I don't like making you mad, Lorna. That's not what I'm here to do. I'm here to help you but you need to help yourself, too."

Forcing herself up from the chair, the brunette angrily paced through the office. Anger possessed her, engulfed her. She felt like she couldn't focus on anything other than the unrelenting anger. Her eyes searched the room methodically, she needed something to release all the pent up anger. Something, anything—a pair of scissors caught her eye from within a pen holder on Mrs. Mendoza's desk. She peered at them longingly, knowing the sharpness of the point tips would cut nicely through her skin. And the pain of that would be enough to take her attention off the anger for at least a few minutes. Mechanically, she strode her way over and snatched them rather inhospitably from the jeweled glassware it sat inside of.