Chapter 13
"I dare say you will find him very agreeable."
"Heaven forbid! That would be the greatest misfortune of all! To find a man agreeable whom one is determined to hate! Do not wish me such an evil!" Miss Elizabeth stated.
Sighing, Darcy continued on his way as he struggled to appear unaffected by her words; words he would not have even heard if not for his inhuman hearing abilities. He was at a loss to understand how she was still so adamantly against him. He had all but apologized directly to her publicly, yet she had been hesitant to accept his hand for the next dance.
He had wanted to ask her for the current dance, yet upon approaching her, saw that she was in a heated discussion with her friend Miss Lucas so instead asked Miss Bennet who stood nearby conversing with Bingley. It was not hard to see why his friend had fallen for the eldest Bennet; nor why she shared such a close relationship with Miss Elizabeth. She had the sweetest disposition, and seemed incapable of uttering an unkind word.
He was surprised to discover her, after the dance, requesting information regarding Wickham. She had told him that she feared her sister was not disposed to think well of him, and was under the impression that she blamed him for the scoundrels downfall. Shocked, Darcy had asked if she knew why her sister was so determined to think ill of him, yet Miss Bennet had been unwilling to answer. With a gentle smile, Darcy had leaned in closer to them as they stepped forward in the dance, and asked if Miss Elizabeth had been so unfortunate as to have overheard his insult at the Meryton Assembly. Miss Bennet had immediately paled, and Darcy quickly reassured her that he had regretted his words immediately, and had been attempting to apologize for them ever since.
"I knew there had to be some mistake, sir," she had replied with a happy smile. "Lizzy had been greatly hurt although she tries to hide it. May I assume your arguments while we resided here during Netherfield were your attempts gone awry?"
Chuckling Darcy had bestowed a smile upon her. "Indeed. I fear I do not converse easily with those I am not well acquainted with, especially when I must admit a failing on my part. I can offer no justification for my words, nor can I remove the pain. It is my hope that I may simply ease her comfort, and prove to her that I have seen the error of my ways. I do not wish your sister to think ill of me."
As he had concluded speaking, Darcy noticed Miss Bennet eyeing him with much consideration. "I believe, Mr. Darcy, that if you continue as you have this evening, my sister may yet improve her opinion of her. She will find it will not be so easy to despise you now that the rest of the neighborhood has improved their opinion of you."
"I thank you, Miss Bennet. You have given me hope." As the dance ended, he asked permission to escort her to her sister and was cheerfully accepted. However, they were intercepted by Bingley on the way as he was most impatient to renew his attentions to her that evening. Seeing him hesitate ever so slightly, Miss Bennet offered him a small smile and told him that he should continue on without her. "I am sure my sister will be most honored to accept your hand for the next set, Mr. Darcy. If I remember correctly, her card is not yet full." Bowing gratefully and ignoring Bingley's confused expression, Darcy heeded her advice.
Miss Elizabeth, however, was not as honored as he had hoped her to be. She gave all the appearances of wanting to deny him her hand when Miss Lucas had nudged her. Disappointed that she seemed to be even more hostile towards him than normal, he turned to her friend requesting the dance following Miss Elizabeth's in an attempt to ease her mind before walking away.
When the time came for the dancing to recommence, Darcy returned to the ladies in time to overhear Miss Lucas whisper "do not be a simpleton and allow your fancy for Wickham make you appear unpleasant in the eyes of a man of ten times his consequence." It took all the effort he had to appear unconcerned while he felt as though the floor had disappeared from beneath his feet. How was it that she found herself attracted to another man? That had never happened before; there had never been any other than him. A hint of laughter drifted by and Darcy had to repress a shudder realizing that the idea had been planted in her head by another.
Although Darcy had thus far danced every set but the first, he could not fail to notice the extra attention he was now receiving as he escorted Miss Elizabeth to her place in the set. This attention only further set his resolve to right things between them as he now had proof that the entire neighborhood knew of his slight at the assembly.
Taking his own place, he allowed himself to fully absorb this moment while the other dancers continued to join them. It was obvious to him that Miss Elizabeth had taken great care with her appearance that evening. Her gown, though behind in fashion, was one of perfection on her. The cream of the fabric contrasted beautifully with her tanned skin and dark features. Her full length gloves fit her so well they appeared to be one with her soft flesh. Her neck was unadorned with the jewels many others wore that night, yet Darcy found it preferable bare. Her hair was done up in a simple yet elegant style with several curls threatening to escape her pins. At that moment he wished he could reach up and run his hand through her chestnut curls.
The sounds of the orchestra quickly brought him from his reverie and he looked up to see her cold gaze and a small frown aimed at him. With a slight blush at having been caught admiring her, he offered a hesitant smile as he bowed in time with the other gentleman. For some time they danced in silence as Miss Elizabeth seemed reluctant to converse, her cold look replaced by one of confusion, and Darcy was too pleased at finally dancing with his beloved to disturb the peace.
Eventually Miss Elizabeth grew uncomfortable with the silence and made some slight observation on the dance. With a gentle smile, he replied, yet not knowing what else to add fell once again into silence.
"It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy," she said several minutes later. "I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples."
"I would be happy to oblige you and will say whatever it is you wish me to say," he said with a chuckle.
"Very well. That reply will do for the present. Perhaps by and by I may observe that private balls are much pleasanter than public ones. But now we may be silent."
Not wishing for their camaraderie to end, Darcy quickly began to speak again. "Do you talk by rule then, when you are dancing?"
"Sometimes. One must speak a little, you know. It would look odd to be entirely silent for half an hour together, and yet for the advantage of some, conversation ought to be so arranged as that they may have the trouble of saying as little as possible."
Feeling the weight of her accusation regarding his character, he decided to try teasing her as history had taught him that usually provided the help he needed. "Are you consulting your own feelings in the present case, or do you imagine that you are gratifying mine?"
"Both," she replied archly, slightly confused at his cheerful attitude; "for I have always seen a great similarity in the run of our minds. We are each of an unsocial taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak , unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room. And be handed down to posterity with all the eclat of a proverb."
"This is no very striking resemblance of your own character, I am sure. How near it may be to mine, I cannot pretend to say," he said with a disarming smile.
Having heard the compliment in his words, Miss Elizabeth stumbled over the next step, and Darcy had to quickly reach out to steady her. As he gripped her upper arm just above her glove, he felt a shock travel up his own arm and settle in his heart. It was a feeling he had become accustomed to over their many lives, yet she had no such memories at this time.
Sensing her discomfort, he looked down to see her eyes upon him in fear, hints of emerald green starting to shine through the hazel.
"Have we...we have danced together before, Mr. Darcy."
Excitement began to bubble in his chest; here was his moment. "Indeed we have Miss Elizabeth; many times in fact. There is nothing more that I love than to dance with you, my dearest Ellette," he said with a small smile and love shining brightly from his eyes.
Smiling, she looked up at him as gold began to join the green in her eyes. "I remember, sir. Your hair was much lighter then, though not as fair as your fathers."
Forgetting where he was, Darcy almost reached up to stroke her cheek as he stepped towards her in the dance when he felt a small kick to the bag of his leg. Looking around quickly to find the perpetrator, he saw Bingley passing by him with a look of rebuke and shock clear upon his face. Wondering how many others had witnessed his improper behavior, he turned back to Miss Elizabeth to find her staring behind him with confusion. Neglecting the dance, Darcy whipped around to see a cloaked figure wending their way through the crowd, unseen by any others. The feeling of power overwhelmed him, and he began to step off the floor to follow the personage responsible for meddling in his life when he felt another sharp kick.
"Darcy, pay attention man!" Bingley hissed.
Before Darcy could make a retort, he turned back towards Miss Elizabeth and his heart dropped at the sight. She was staring at him in horror and disgust, all traces of his Iliana gone from her eyes. "If you no longer desire my company, Mr. Darcy, perhaps you could return me to my friend."
Disheartened, Darcy rushed to reassure her of his desire for her to finish the dance with him. "I must humbly beg for your forgiveness Miss Bennet. I thought I saw something, and found myself quite distracted. However, I understand if you would desire to leave my presence at the moment as I have failed in my duty to properly attend you. I will forever regret this lapse in my attention, Miss Bennet." Upon seeing her nod in grudging acceptance, he once again tried to engage her in conversation. "It seems my lapse in attention had made me forget what we were talking of."
"I do not think we were speaking at all. There could not be any two people in the room who had less to say for themselves. We have tried two or three subjects already without success, and what we are to talk of next I cannot imagine."
Not enjoying the turn of her countenance nor the return of her anger towards him, Darcy decided to once again tease her. "What think you of books?" said he, smiling.
"Books - Oh! No. I am sure we never read the same, or not with the same feelings. You made that quite clear when I stayed here at Netherfield."
"I am sorry you think so; but if that be the case, there can at least be no want of subject. We may compare our different opinions."
"No, I cannot talk of books in a ballroom; my head is always full of something else."
"The present always occupies you in such scenes, does it?"
"Yes," she replied absentmindedly as her gaze once again wandered off into the room. Feeling as though he was once again being watched, he turned to follow her gaze, only this time he was unable to see anything out of the ordinary. Frustrated with himself for not following the being, he heaved a sigh and decided to try once again with Miss Elizabeth; he refused to give up hope on this night.
Before he could formulate what to say, she surprised him with her sudden speech. "I remember hearing you once say, Mr. Darcy, that you hardly ever forgave, that your resentment once created was unnappeasable. You are very cautious, I suppose, as to its being created?"
"I am," he said in a firm voice, concerned as to the turn of the conversation.
"And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice?"
Fear soon overcame his concern upon hearing her words. Memories of conversations long ago came to mind, none of which led to happy endings. Whoever the being was, had kept her from remember who she was, yet obviously allowed her a slight recollection of his worst moments with her. There were only a few people besides themselves who were aware of these past conversations, and only two of whom he believed would encourage her to use them against him. His worst suspicions had just been confirmed, and they were in true danger; unfortunately, this time the danger was not mortal.
Realizing that he had yet to give an answer and that she was waiting impatiently, he forced aside his macabre thoughts telling himself he could search out the being the following day. "I hope not," he finally said.
"It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first."
Impatience and irritation such as he had never felt with her soon overcame all rational thought and he hastily replied with harshness. "May I ask to what theses questions tend?"
"Merely to the illustration of your character," she said in an attempt to calm him down and brush off her own gravity. "I am trying to make it out."
"And what is your success?" he sneered.
"I do not get on at all. I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly."
At that moment, the musicians played the final chord, and Darcy had never felt so relieved to end his dancing with her. In the past it had always been a moment of great sorrow, yet now, it was one of great joy. He could not escape her fast enough. He needed to get away before he further damaged her opinion of him.
"I can readily believe that reports may vary greatly with respect to me; and I could wish, Miss Bennet, that you were not to sketch my character at the present moment, as there is reason to fear that the performance would reflect no credit on either," he said as he escorted her from the floor to join her parents.
"But if I do not take your likeness now, I may never have another opportunity."
"I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours," he ended coldly with a small bow.
Walking away from her as fast as he could, he began to head for the doorway so that he might escape from his personal demons in order to calm himself down. As he drew near, however, he spotted Lady Lucas chatting with another woman and recalled that he had asked Miss Lucas to dance the next with him. With a sharp turn he redirected himself towards the refreshment table, and began to converse with the officers there until it was time to collect his dance partner.
When the musicians played the cue to start the dance, Darcy begrudgingly left the table and officers behind in order to escort Miss Lucas to the dance floor. Although he attempted civil conversation and a pleasing demeanor, he knew he would have to apologize to Miss Lucas afterwards as all his attempts fell. As they left the dance floor, he began to turn to ask if he could escort her to dinner when she raised a hand to stop him.
"Mr. Darcy please allow me to speak. I thank you for the very great honor of dancing with you, yet I know your heart was not in it. I have seen the way you watch my friend, and although she does not believe me, I can see how you feel for her. Give her time. My friend is a stubborn woman, she will come around.
"Miss Lucas, I would beg..."
"No, there is no need. Promise you will not give up on her and that is all the apology I need."
With a smile, Darcy took her hand and bowed over it. "You have my word, madam."
"I thank you, sir, and I will now wish you good evening as I doubt we will converse again. Although, you should replace that grimace with the smile you wore earlier this evening. Do not let her know how her words have affected you."
Admiration shone from Darcy's eyes as he watched Miss Lucas walk away to join her family as they headed towards the supper room. Smiling, he realized that although his dance with his beloved had not gone as planned, the evening was far from over, and he had many unexpected allies.
AN: Sorry this is so short, but I decided to go ahead and make the ball a 3 part as trying to condense everything was not working for me. Anyways, please forgive any editing errors as I did not take the time to edit before posting. I am supposed to be somewhere right now, but knew if I did not get this posted first I would not get it done today. I will go back next week and edit this chapter, but in the meantime, I hope this pleases you all haha. So here it is, and the rest sometime real soon.
AN: Edited (finally haha) July 1, 2018
