Chapter 15
In spite of the late hour of the ball, Darcy had been unable to sleep past sunrise as was his wont. Grateful for the quiet of the house, he had decided to break his fast in the library so that he could attend to some neglected business before meeting with Colonel Forster and Mr. Bennet. While he was thus employed, Bingley's butler had presented him with two newly arrived letters sent express; one from Georgiana and the other from her companion, Mrs. Annesley.
While he always looked forward to a letter from his sister, the fact that he had also received one from her companion worried him; that they were sent express increased his worry. Hesitating slightly, he decided to open the letter from Mrs. Annesley first in the hopes that it did not contain bad tidings.
26 November, 1811
Darcy House
London
Dear Mr. Darcy
I hope sir that you will forgive me for inconveniencing you when I know you to be enjoying your stay with your friends. Yet I cannot help but beg for your immediate return to London. I fear Miss Darcy, whom I had believed to be improving in spirits, has taken a turn for the worse. I am worried that this return of her despair is somehow connected with the events of this summer and yourself.
Last evening Miss Darcy and I took a stroll in the park after dinner when we came across an older gentleman dressed in an unusual looking cloak. She claims she has never met the man, yet the two easily struck up a friendly conversation as he claimed a past acquaintance with you. Although I attempted to request his name I was unsuccessful in garnering any useful information from him. Concerned regarding his forthright manner, I attempted to draw my charge away from him. As she bid the gentleman farewell, he presented her with a single wildflower before disappearing amongst the trees.
From the moment she took the flower, I fear Miss Darcy has been behaving in a manner most unlike herself. She has been muttering incessantly about how everything is her fault and how you have deserted her. I have attempted to remove the flower from her person, yet it somehow seems to reappear every time. I took the liberty of calling for the doctor to determine if the flower somehow contained harmful substances, yet he insists that Miss Darcy is in perfect health and that there is nothing unusual regarding the flower.
Despite the doctor's assurances, I cannot help but wonder if there is something beyond our understanding taking place. I fear for Miss Darcy, sir, and am at a loss as to how to better help her. She is not acting her normal self.
Please advise me as to any other actions you may deem appropriate, and I pray for your swift and safe return.
Your Servant,
S. Annesley
Heart contracting in fear, Darcy quickly broke the seal on his sister's letter and began to read.
Dearest William,
I do so hope you are still enjoying your stay in Hertfordshire. If I remember correctly this evening is Mr. Bingley's ball. I look forward to hearing your account of the event. Knowing Miss Bingley as I do, I am certain that it was a most extravagant affair. Did you dance brother? Oh how I would have loved to have been there. Promise me you will tell me everything. I am most anxious to hear your account.
All is well here in London. I continue on with my daily lessons and have learned a new song on the pianoforte. I shall have to play it for you when you return next month for the holidays. I must admit I am anxious to return to Pemberley as London has not the same charm as the country does in the winter.
Last evening Mrs. Annesley and I took our after dinner stroll in the park where I met the kindest old man. Although I have never seen him before, he knew my name and claimed an acquaintance with you and our father. At least I assume he meant our father although he specifically said 'your brother's father'. I thought it rather strange at first, yet he told such a wonderful story I forgot all about it until now.
When Mrs. A and I bid the gentleman farewell, he gave me the most beautiful wildflower; I have never seen its like. It has the sweetest scent and has yet to wilt. My companion does not appreciate the flower as I do and has tried to remove it from the house, but I am glad she has been unsuccessful. I plan to press it so that I may show it to you.
Do not be alarmed by my mentioning it, but the doctor has just called. I believe Mrs. A to be concerned for my health. It is nothing more than a trifle headache and fatigue, nothing that I am sure will not pass quickly. The doctor himself declared me fine, just in need of rest. Dear Mrs. A, however, is quite concerned. She is such a dear, William, and I will forever be grateful to you for securing her for me.
Please write soon brother as I miss you terribly and your letters are always of such comfort.
Your loving sister,
Georgiana
Darcy stared in horror at the two letters in his hand. He was grateful that Mrs. Annesley had seen fit to write him, for had it been merely Georgiana's letter, he would not have given the issues of her health and the stranger much thought. Mrs. Annesley had stated that his sister's emotional state had worsened, yet if he had to judge solely from Georgiana's he would have assumed everything to be just fine. As it was, he had been forewarned and could feel the magic influencing his sister's words leaking from the page.
Anger such as he had not felt in centuries overcame him. It was bad enough that there was someone preventing Miss Elizabeth's memories from returning. Now someone, and he assumed the two to be the same, was threatening him through his beloved sister.
Needing to release the building tension in his body, Darcy stood and began to pace the library. Questions assaulted him from every angle of thought: Who was this being? Were they friend or foe? Why did Iliana trust them? Was there more than one being? Why use Georgiana to try to keep him away from Miss Elizabeth?
It was obvious to him that this being wished to keep Miss Elizabeth's memories at bay, yet he could not determine why. From what he knew of their oppressors, they relished in their suffering together. Circumstances had always led them to each other, and once found, kept them together. They had only faced mortal danger after they had both regained their memories once more. He had discussed many times with Iliana why this appeared to be so, and the only answer they could come up with was the greater pain of false hope. Never had they been separated after finding each other by anything other than death.
Walking towards the window, he leaned against the frame and stared out towards where he knew Longbourn to be. How he wished he could talk to Iliana, have her help in solving this puzzle. She had always been the cleverer one of the two, and had the ability to see things in ways he could never think of on his own. He needed her, yet if the being continued as they were, he knew it could be a long while yet.
Sighing, he rested his aching head against the cool glass. Although the being kept interfering in his efforts, he was loath to admit that they had done nothing more than simply interfere. There was no true harm in that besides his heartache. Georgiana, however, had been harmed. Her already fragile emotional state had been pushed over the edge. By approaching his sister, the being had given a clear message: he was not a welcome presence in Miss Elizabeth's life at this time. They could not have found a better way to draw him away from his beloved.
Tears rolled down his face as he thought of leaving Hertfordshire and Iliana. For five years he had searched for her among all those he came in contact with, his despair at being alone growing each year. At last he had found her and the joy he felt was great. He had thought he was finally to be relieved of his current misery. But he had failed to recognize her, insulted her, and every attempt to draw her out was thwarted. Twice he had almost succeeded and Darcy feared the pain if there was a third failure.
He knew if he truly wanted to end his misery he could and he would. All he had to do was try again and refuse to give in to the other being. Persistence had paid off the first time he won her heart; he knew he could do so again. Hope began to flutter in his chest at the thought. He was to meet with Mr. Bennet that afternoon, and if he so wished, he could request a private audience with Miss Elizabeth. During that time, he would use all his magic to draw Iliana out from her sleep.
As he turned from the window with a new determination, he spotted the letters he had dropped on the floor at some point during his pacing. Bending down to retrieve them, he felt the hope inside him die. Although she would be left to the sole guardianship of their capable cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam, he knew he could not leave Georgiana yet. She was not ready to lose her brother and lose him she would if Miss Elizabeth remembered now and they failed again to break the curse.
Although they believed their marriage would break the curse, they were unsure if that would truly do the trick or if there was more required of them. Whether or not marriage was the key, they had yet to experience it. During their fifth lifetime, he had realized that they both remained miraculously safe and healthy until the other had regained their memories and marriage was spoken of. During that lifetime, he had proposed immediately after she remembered and they headed directly to the church. It was at that unfortunate time that a band of raiders entered their village and he was shot through the heart by an arrow as he attempted to protect her.
After that experience, they tried various techniques. At one point, his father had been a priest and they were in his family kitchen when his memories returned. Without saying a word to each other, they headed up the stairs to his father's room when his dog came barreling towards them causing her to fall and break her neck. At other times, just as they had done last time on the ship, they waited for as long as several months before speaking of marriage. As soon as they had discussed it, however, one of them died within a few hours, the marriage unperformed. Once they had even gone so far as to attempt a secret marriage.
As he contemplated all he knew, he came to several realizations. The first was that he could not leave Georgiana until he was assured of her security and happiness; he would not leave her alone and distressed in the world. The second, that although he had the power within him to help Miss Elizabeth remember, the pain of leaving her behind while he attended to his sister would be lessened if she remained as she currently was. Lastly, he realized that no matter what he did, there was someone out there who would no longer remain backstage on this farce he called his life. Whoever the magical being was, they had finally entered the play and would act their part through until the end. Darcy hoped that by following the beings script, he might discover who they are and how to end their interference.
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Darcy's meeting with Colonel Forster had gone much as he expected. Upon arrival, he was shown into the Colonel's private quarters and immediately questioned on his history with Wickham. He had related many instances from their boyhood where Wickham had begun to show evil tendencies. As he shared their time at Cambridge and beyond, he had been asked to show proof of the many debts Wickham had incurred.
Having been prepared for such an inquiry, Darcy was able to produce one of his many ledgers of business. Whenever he traveled, he was always careful to pack a few business ledgers and books so that if needed he could attend to any unexpected business that could not be handled by his steward or solicitor. One such ledger was a record of all Wickham's deeds. Inside were receipts of debts bought as well as written testimonials from families whose daughters had been harmed.
Upon seeing the ledger book, Colonel Forster grew quite suspicious as though he suspected the whole thing to be a set up. Darcy was quick to reassure him that such was not the case. He told the Colonel that there had been a few instances where he had visited a friend or passed through a neighborhood after Wickham had already left the area. Sometimes their visits were months apart, but once he had arrived a mere week later. Although such was not always the case, Darcy explained that he had paid men whose sole duty was to follow Wickham and keep him abreast of the man's activities. As such, he did not trust himself or others to accidentally misplace any new information if he was away from home upon receiving it.
Colonel Forster was so amazed at the extent of Darcy's commitments to both his estate and business ventures as well as to what he felt his duties were that he refused the offer to contact Colonel Fitzwilliam as a witness to Darcy's many dealings with Wickham. Darcy was also relieved as he had not been required to share with him Georgiana's near elopement.
By the end of the meeting, Darcy had been informed as to the full extent of Wickham's activities since his arrival in Meryton. Despite what he knew of his childhood friend, he had been struck dumb upon hearing how much debt he had accrued in less than a week. He was grateful that he had not waited any longer to confront and expose the man as the numbers were beyond anything he had seen before; something the Colonel contributed to Darcy's being in town.
Although he had offered to once again buy up Wickham's debts, Colonel Forster had refused him. Wickham was to be transferred to a new regiment and would be under strict orders. He was to train with the regular recruits and any spare time would be spent under the watchful eye of his new commanding officer. When not training or assisting his commanding officer, Wickham would be placed under armed guard. Any wages not used for basic essentials would be sent directly to Colonel Forster until all his debts in Meryton were paid off. In the meantime, the Colonel had informed every tradesman and shopkeeper that they were not to extend a line of credit to any member of the militia without his permission.
Darcy had expressed his concern over the necessity of wasting so much manpower over Wickham in a time of war but Colonel Forster had merely smiled eerily and assured him that all would be just fine. Wickham's new commanding officer was a strict disciplinarian who owed him a large favor.
Satisfied that all would be well and Wickham would be separated from the Bennet's, Darcy had thanked the Colonel and left feeling as though a large weight had disappeared from his life.
Looking at his pocket watch, he decided he would wait until after the luncheon hour to call upon Mr. Bennet. In the meantime, he decided to head towards the Meryton Inn for his own meal. Before leaving Netherfield, he had informed his man to begin packing his things as they were to leave first thing the next morning. He had then left a message for Miss Bingley and the Hurst's informing them that he would be gone for the majority of the day and would depart tomorrow. He had left immediately to post a letter to Mrs. Annesley and his housekeeper informing them of his arrival. He was determined to keep away from Netherfield until all his business was concluded else Miss Bingley corner him and attempt to coerce him to stay.
Arriving at the inn, he was hailed immediately by several officers who invited him to join them as they dined. With a small smile, he agreed. He knew that every bit of support he could attain before facing his beloved for the last time before leaving would be a great comfort.
Joining the officers, he found himself chatting amiably before long, his troubles all but forgotten. They talked of many subjects; the ball, the society in Meryton, the war. Thankfully the topic of Wickham never arose since all the officers by that time were hopeful that they had seen the last of him.
Finally the time came for the officers to return to their duties and they began to wish him farewell until one of them invited him to join them later for an evening of cards. Wishing he could accept, Darcy regretfully informed them that he would be unable to attend them as he was required to return to town the next morning. The disappointment felt by all was increased when informed that he knew not when he would next return as his duty to his sister was paramount to his own personal leisure. With heartfelt farewells and wishes for both his health and that of his sister, the officers departed leaving Darcy to make his way to Longbourn.
From the moment Darcy arrived at Longbourn, he could tell that all was not well inside the house. Dismounting his horse, he realized that he could not sense the presence of his beloved inside. Fear as he wondered where she could be began to overcome him until he saw Cyrus run towards him. Bending down he began to scratch behind the cats ears as he reached out to read his thoughts. With a sigh of relief, he was informed that Miss Elizabeth had gone walking towards Oakham Mount after suffering through a trying ordeal at home. Shaking his head in amusement, he thought it natural for her to seek comfort from the outdoors she so loved.
Whispering to the cat to follow her and keep her from harm, Darcy stood and walked towards the front door of the house. Upon knocking, an older woman whom Darcy assumed to be the housekeeper opened the door and took his card. Ushering him inside, she instructed him to wait while she informed her master of his arrival.
Looking around, Darcy was pleased to see that the house was comfortably furnished. Although it appeared as though many of the furnishings were old and worn, everything was in wonderful condition. It pleased him to know that his beloved had grown up in such an environment. Although never well off, she must have always been comfortably settled here.
A sudden wail sounded from above stairs followed by shrieks for a Mrs. Hill startling Darcy from his observations. Looking around in anticipation for the servant, Darcy was shocked to espy instead two young maids giggling in hushed tones as they pointed towards where he had heard the cry. Appalled at their deportment, he almost missed hearing a man clear his throat. Turning, he saw Mr. Bennet considering him with a careful eye.
"Mr. Darcy, sir. To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?"
Darcy's eyebrows rose in shock at the address. Had he misunderstood Mr. Bennet the night before? No, he was certain he had been asked to come. "I am calling at your request, sir. If this is not an appropriate time I would be pleased to call later this evening or to leave you a letter with the information you requested as I am afraid I must return to town tomorrow and know not when I shall return."
Chuckling, Mr. Bennet shook his head. "Of course, Mr. Darcy. Please forgive me for having forgotten about our appointment. I am afraid that after the events of this morning I find my normally quiet routine quite disturbed. Please follow me; I would not wish to be interrupted."
Handing his great coat, hat and riding crop to one of the maids he had spotted earlier, Darcy followed Mr. Bennet down a short hallway to a small room. Standing aside, Mr. Bennet indicated that Darcy precede him. Entering what he assumed to be a combined study and library, Darcy felt warmth fill his heart. Overflowing bookshelves covered every wall, while several other books lay stacked on various surfaces around the room. In the middle was a medium sized desk covered in strewn papers and two wing backed chairs near the fire. It was towards these chairs that Mr. Bennet indicated that he should sit.
As Mr. Bennet produced some tumblers and a decanter of brandy, Darcy's attention was drawn to the window seat across from him. Images of Miss Elizabeth at many different ages flooded his mind. There she was sitting there with her father learning to read, seeking comfort from his arms, and laughing at the book she held in her hand with her knees drawn up to her chest. Smiling, he accepted a glass from Mr. Bennet as he considered how much joy being in this sanctuary of hers brought him.
Seeing Mr. Bennet's amused look, Darcy uncomfortably cleared his throat. "You have quite the room here, sir. I am rather impressed. You must spend a lot of time here as it seems most comfortable and you have quite the collection."
"I am glad you think so sir as my family is convinced that I spend too much of my time here. They claim it is not good for my health to hide away as I do."
"Well then, I am pleased to find in you sir a like soul. My sister says much the same of me. Once I shut myself away in my study or library, it takes much coercion on her part to draw me away."
"Do you have a passion for the written word as well, Mr. Darcy?"
"Indeed I do, a passion instilled in me by my father. I am always adding to my collection much as my sister adds to her wardrobe."
Laughing at his words, Mr. Bennet was quick to reply. "In such a case as that, sir, I am surprised that you have any income at all." Joining in the gentleman's laughter, Darcy agreed that such could easily be the case if he had been so unlucky as to have an over frivolous sibling. "You must surely have quite the collection then," Mr. Bennet said.
"Indeed I do, although much of it has been procured over the years by my ancestors. However, I cannot neglect the practice. Our house in town has only been in the family for three generations now, so I find there are many books at Pemberley that I must add to my collection in London."
"Now that is unusual, sir. I understood most gentlemen to keep only a few favorites at their London residences while the majority of their collections remain at their estates."
"While that is true amongst most of my acquaintance," Darcy said, "I do not agree. I would hate to end up in town for an undetermined amount of time with a poor selection to choose from. It would not be conducive at all to a pleasant life. I am not one for social discourse as I am sure you have noticed, sir, and would avoid town completely if it were not for my many business ventures."
"You continue to amaze me, Mr. Darcy. I applaud you in your choice of pursuits. Most young men would not be as structured. Now you find me quite envious. I fear Mrs. Bennet will not allow me any more room to store my precious tomes, so I find myself quite limited when it comes acquiring more."
"Well next time you find yourself in London, sir, I beg you would stop by. I would be happy to show you my library and to lend you any books you might desire. You would also be quite welcome at Pemberley if you ever found yourself in that part of the country."
"Thank you Mr. Darcy, you are too kind." Raising his glass in a toast, Mr. Bennet took a drink as he considered his next words. "Now perhaps we should get down to business. I would not wish to detain you any longer than necessary."
"Certainly," Darcy replied as he leaned forward and set his own glass aside. "What exactly is it that you would like to know?"
"I hope you will forgive me if I am not as quick as others have been to believe words spoken by those who are filled with anger. Would you be so kind as to share your past with Mr. Wickham?" Seeing Darcy hesitate, he quickly continued. "If it were not for the affection I hold for my daughters I would not ask this of you. I know I am not the most attentive father and in many ways I have neglected my paternal duties, but I cannot stand by when I know my daughters to be in possible danger."
"Let me assure you, Mr. Bennet that I would not have agreed to come if I was unwilling to share my knowledge with you. Too many young ladies have fallen victim to the scoundrel and I would not wish to see any of your daughters come to the same harm. I admire you greatly for your doubt. I am simply unsure of where to start."
"From the beginning is possibly the best solution."
Chuckling lightly, Darcy agreed and began his tale. By the end, both gentlemen had refilled their glasses twice.
"I truly had no idea he was as bad as that. I am surprised that my Lizzy has been so fooled by the man."
"I am not so surprised sir. Mr. Wickham can please where he chooses, and I am afraid I have inadvertently helped his cause where Miss Elizabeth is concerned." Sighing he looked at Mr. Bennet who was eyeing him expectantly. "I have done your daughter a grave injustice, sir, and as a result she does not think well of me and allowed Mr. Wickham to pollute her mind with his lies."
"May I ask why it is you felt the need to insult my daughter, sir? More importantly, why is her opinion of such import to you?"
Standing up, he began to pace the small room, Mr. Bennet's eyes following him carefully. Unsure how to express himself to her father, he decided he would play on the truth of his situation. "When I first saw Miss Elizabeth, she reminded me of another I once knew. Upon realizing she was not who I thought she was, I determined to prevent her from forming an attachment to me. I regret to say that I was successful. As I continued to find myself in her company, I could not help but notice that she has many attributes similar to the other young lady I once knew. I soon found myself wishing to know her better; however, due to my careless words at the assembly, she has no desire to know me."
"Am I to assume, sir, that you fancy my daughter because she reminds you of a past love?" Anger glinted from his eyes as he spoke.
Realizing the danger he now found himself in, Darcy continued hesitantly. "I cannot deny that it was her similarities that first attracted me to her. Yet the more I see of her, the more I realize she is different and unique." Sudden meaning of the man's words from the night before dawned upon him. "You were wise to advise me against letting her live in the shadow of another, sir. I must stop comparing her and allow her to be her own person instead of trying to see the person I want her to be."
Sitting down as the full force of his realization hit him, Darcy felt a powerful surge overcome him. A soft laughter rang through the room heard only by him, although he was unable to determine if it was one of joy or evil. Not wishing to give the being any attention, he looked up to see an approving look in Mr. Bennet's eyes.
"I am glad you see it as I do, son. Now," he said leaning his elbows on his knees "is there something you wish to ask me?"
Confused, Darcy considered the man in front of him. When Mr. Bennet raised an eyebrow in amusement, he once again felt a surge of hope he had to force away. "No there is not, sir. As much as I would wish to declare myself to your daughter, I cannot. I received an urgent express from my sister's companion this morning and I must return to town without further delay. I need to remove my sister to Pemberley for her health and I am unsure as to when I shall return. I shall hope to return after the new year, yet if her health is not improved I shall be delayed until after the spring plantings."
"If you truly wish for an attachment with my daughter, do you believe such a separation wise without informing her of your desires?"
Pausing, Darcy considered Mr. Bennet's words. He knew that although it did not seem wise, to declare himself would only make matters worse. After the experience in the library and again when he had come upon her in the street, he knew she had no desire for his attentions. She feared them in fact.
"I do believe so sir. Your daughter does not care for my opinion at this time, and I fear expressing myself would only hurt my suit. I believe if I give her time, she will hopefully become more amenable to hearing what others now say of me. Proof of Wickham's evil deeds will also hopefully help."
"Very well, sir. I will leave you to follow your own counsel."
"I thank you sir."
"Would you be so willing as to join us for dinner this evening? I assure you your presence would be most welcome."
"I am afraid I must decline, sir. I would not wish to impose on such short notice and I must return to Netherfield to complete my preparations."
"As you wish, Mr. Darcy. May I wish you luck on your journey and best of health to your sister? I hope it shall not be long before we see you in Hertfordshire again." Standing, Mr. Bennet extended his hand which Darcy gratefully took in return as he stood as well.
"You may be assured that I will return as soon as may be. Again I thank you, Mr. Bennet. And best of health to you as well."
With a final farewell, Darcy allowed the gentleman to lead him towards the front door. As he was donning his coat and hat, they heard another wail from above stairs. "Oh we are all, all ruined!" Concerned, Darcy swung around in time to see Mr. Bennet roll his eyes. With a conspiratorial whisper, the older gentleman leaned forward and began to whisper.
"In light of what we have just discussed, I feel myself bound to inform you sir that Lizzy refused an offer of marriage this morning from my cousin Mr. Collins. Much to Mrs. Bennet's displeasure I refused to force her hand. I will not allow her to enter into a marriage where she cannot love and respect her partner."
Unable to hide his relief, Darcy smiled and bowed in thanks. With a last farewell, he left the house and mounted his horse.
As he trotted down the lane, he saw a sudden movement in the brush. Pulling his horse to a stop, he watched as a disgruntled Miss Elizabeth entered the lane.
"Mr. Darcy!" She came to a sudden halt as she spotted the man in front of her.
Touching his hat, he nodded towards her, "Miss Bennet. How do you do?"
"I am well, thank you." Shifting her feet nervously she looked around. Suddenly realizing where he was she looked up at him in surprise. "Sir, have you just come from Longbourn?"
Chuckling lightly he bestowed a dimpled smile upon her. "Indeed I have, madam. Your father requested an audience with me last night and I have just concluded my business with him."
"Oh! And may I inquire as to what business you had with my father?" She asked with a raised brow.
"You may indeed, Miss Bennet, but I believe it is up to your father to determine what he feels appropriate to share with you. I would not wish to overstep my bounds."
Glancing up at him curiously, she simply nodded her head before bidding him farewell. He turned and watched as she began to walk away. Realizing that he might not see her again for several months, he called out to her as he swung off his mount. Turning in surprise, she looked up at him, apprehension in her eyes.
"Miss Bennet, I must beg your forgiveness. I believe you overheard a comment I made to my friend the night of the assembly. I can offer you no excuse for my behavior, but I would beg you most fervently to understand that I do not believe the words I spoke. I have never been more wrong than I was at that moment."
"Mr. Darcy I...I know not what to say. I never expected such words from you."
"And for that I must once again beg your forgiveness. I know I have not endeared myself to you, yet I could not leave Hertfordshire without assuring you of my deep regret."
"You...you are leaving, sir?"
"I am. I leave first thing in the morning to attend my sister who suffers from ill health. I know not when I shall return."
"Then I shall bid you good day, sir. May you travel safe and see your sister soon returned to health."
With a smile, he reached out and grasped her gloved hand. Looking into her eyes with great hesitation, he quickly lifted her hand to his lips and bestowed a kiss upon her knuckles much as he had always done with Iliana. Without saying another word, he remounted his horse and rode away forcing himself to not look back.
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"You...you are leaving, sir?"
Elizabeth was unsure why she asked the question, nor why his answer was so important to her. Upon hearing him reply that he was leaving due to his sister's poor health, she felt an unexpected relief. The relief was only temporary, however, as he continued saying he was unsure when he would return. The pain that overcame her took her breath away. Ever since his arrival she had been praying he would leave, and now that he was, she did not want him to go.
Her feelings regarding the man were more confusing now than they had ever been before. Despite what the officers said he had done, she was convinced that Wickham had only been driven to such depravity because the man in front of her had denied his childhood friend what was owed him. Yet as he stood in front of her, apologizing for something she never thought he would, she felt a desire for him.
Forcing herself to speak, she wished him a safe journey hoping that he would accept her forgiveness and leave her forever in peace. Instead he had smiled and took her hand. Finding herself unable to breathe, she watched with baited anticipation as he raised her hand to his lips.
Never before had she allowed a man to kiss her hand, yet the feeling she experienced was one of familiarity and comfort. As he dropped her hand, she once again saw in his place a man with light hair and Mr. Darcy's deep blue eyes. She felt such a connection with that man, yet knew not who he was.
Before she was aware of it, Mr. Darcy had remounted his horse and was trotting away from her. Unable to move from her spot, she felt as though her heart was breaking against her will as he rode away from her, unsure when she would see him again.
