"Hey Halstead. Less of the lovey dovey here please. You have a visitor," Platt barked at his back, causing him to jump off Erin's desk and turn around.

Once he took in his surroundings, he saw someone who he least expected to see stood next to Platt, and they did not look happy, "Ally? What are you doing here?"

"Wow. You don't exactly look like the heartbroken shell of yourself my dad described to me all day yesterday," She said, bluntly, taking in how 'well' he looked.

Jay looked confused, as was Erin. "Ally, what are-"

"Have you seen the date?" She asked, pointedly.

He looked on his watch and said, "It's the 22nd… oh. Oh shit. Oh my god…"

"Yes. It's the 22nd. Yesterday was the 21st. You know what that means? It was Ben's Birthday. His 18th Birthday to be exact."

Everyone looked up from their desk after trying to keep their heads down and ignore what was going on, but that last statement let on to everyone that Jay had obviously forgotten something important. Every year, he went over to the Corson's on Ben's birthday and had a slice of cake, it was tradition. Ally mentioning his 'heartbroken' state meant that the Corson's had known about some of Jay's recent troubles, but obviously hadn't known that Erin and Jay had got back together.

Erin could see Jay's head literally spinning, "Why don't you two go into the break room and talk there?" She suggested and Jay nodded, telling Ally to follow him before shutting the door to the break room for some privacy.

"Look, Ally -" Jay begun but she put her hand up, stopping him.

"No. Don't try and justify it. Do you know how hard it was for us yesterday? We sat at the table with that stupid cake my mom bakes every year even though you're the only one who eats it?"

"I'm sorry, we- uh, we had a case…"

"You had a case? And? If you have a case you always call. Last year you worked that really rough case and called during the day and then went to visit them the day after," She reminded him. "They seemed to think that you were a complete shell of yourself. Dad said he had breakfast with you a couple of months ago and said that you had broke up with Erin and were living on your brother's couch. He said that you were unrecognisable. Now, hearing that, I actually felt sorry for you so I was going to come here and see if you were okay. But seeing that you and Erin were all openly in love and all that shit? Unforgivable." She ranted, and Jay just let her, he deserved it.

"Look, I've been going through a lot of shit lately. Your dad was right, I was a complete shell of myself. I have been working on getting myself better and yeah, Erin has been a big help in me getting my shit together and we are back together. I won't apologise for that. Two days ago we were hit with a case that has really messed with my head. Actually this whole week has been really rough. I'm sorry Ally, but I genuinely forgot," He tried to explain. This week had been tough, he had gone to his first group meeting in ages, had a tough therapy session with Dr Charles at the beginning of the week and then worked that military case which messed with his head even more.

Ally shook her head, "Enough of the excuses. You know what? I don't even know why I'm here, its clear you don't really care about any of us anymore. Too busy playing house with your girlfriend," She argued, even though Jay had clearly explained that he had a lot of stuff on his mind, she took no notice.

"Ally…"

"No. I'm not listening to it anymore. Fuck you, Jay. I can't believe you'd do this. It's completely unforgivable!" She snapped and then stormed out of the break room, leaving Jay to his thoughts. Antonio quickly stood up and told her he would walk her out.


After Jay went into the break room, Erin walked into Hank's office and shut the door. He looked up as she sat down, "What do you want?"

"How do you know I want anything? I might just be coming in here to catch up with you…"

Hank looked at her, "Erin, I've known you for twenty years. I know that look on your face, you want something. Now we could pretend you're here just to 'catch up' but we both know that's not why you're in here. Is it something to do with that woman who is currently talking to Jay?"

She shook her head, "No, but I can just tell that the conversation currently happening next door isn't going well. It's Ally, Ben's sister… Jay forgot Ben's birthday yesterday and even though we had a case, he usually calls. But he forgot so I just know he's going to be crushed. But no, that's not why I want to talk to you. I was wondering if me and Jay could put in for Furlough on the 4th July weekend."

Hank sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, "You want furlough? On 4th July weekend? Any particular reason? You two usually love the picnic."

"Well, Jay's been through a lot this year, you and I both know this…"

"I'm sure everyone in the precinct knows this," Hank interrupted and she just rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, as I was saying… He struggles with fireworks usually. But when we are on call over the holiday, it doesn't bother him too much. Well, it does, but he's generally okay. So, you know we always go away for New Years Eve?" She asked and Hank nodded, "Well, the fireworks are the reason for that. So we were going to hopefully spend the weekend at the cabin away from everything this year, just to get away. We aren't on call this year, so…"

"Okay, I'll see what I can do. If no one else has put in the request for furlough, I'll approve it. I'll send the request down to Platt for her to approve, too. You should know by the end of the day," Hank informed her.

"Thanks, Hank. I really appreciate it," She replied and got up to walk out of the office.


As she walked out, she saw Kim nod to the break room so she went inside and shut the door behind her. The sight before her broke her heart, Jay was sat on the couch, trying to keep his breathing under control. She slowly walked over to him and sat down beside him, "Hey, it's okay," She whispered and began rubbing her hand up and down his back. Her touch caused him to still for a moment, before he put his head in his hands.

"I can't believe I forgot. I've never forgotten in all these years."

"Jay, don't blame yourself. You have had a lot of shit going on recently. You went to a new group therapy, something that has taken a huge toll on you," She saw he was about to object, but carried on anyway. "I know you're going to say that it's no excuse, which no, it probably isn't - but added on with that case we just worked? With bringing up all the memories for you? The therapy session with Dr Charles on Monday? That has been hard on you, Jay. I know you've not really let on how hard it has been but I know it's fucked with your mind more than you're letting on. But it's okay, I understand. Forgetting Ben's birthday is heartbreaking, I didn't even remember because of how busy we have been."

"We should've contacted them and had them over after we spoke that day. You know, when I said about mine and Ally's high school relationship? We said we should invite them over but we just got so busy, I dropped the ball. I feel… terrible. I'm the worst. I just can't believe I forgot," He sighed. "I think I need to go round there tonight and speak to them. Apologise to them. Do you mind? I know I said I would make us a nice meal seeing as we have the place to ourselves tonight…"

"It's fine. You go and see the Corson's after work. I'll grab a ride home with Kim or someone. Do you want a coffee before we go back out there and tackle the paperwork?" She asked and he nodded. She went over to the machine and put it on to brew and turned around, "So, I talked to Hank about the 4th July weekend."

Jay looked up at her, intrigued, "What did he say?"

"He said yes, but it's got to go to Platt and as long as no one else has asked for the same weekend off, we are fine. I know we didn't really plan it but I had a feeling after what was about to go down with Ally, you'd appreciate it."

"God, I love you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," He smiled.

"I'm pretty amazing, I know," She laughed and poured the two them of a mug of coffee and passing his to him. "And I love you too."

He grinned and they both went back out to the bullpen so they could finish off their paperwork.

Towards the end of the day, Erin and Jay both got email notifications saying that their furlough had been approved by Platt and that they had 3rd-7th July off. A weekend at the Cabin was exactly what the pair of them needed after the rough start to the year. It had been rough for both of them but getting back to normal was their main priority. Hank let them all leave at four, stating that no new case had come in, so they could have the evening off, Erin followed Jay into the locker room to give him the keys to her car as she drove this morning. "You okay?" She asked.

He nodded, "Yeah, I'm actually okay. I still feel awful, but I think going to see them will help. I'll text you when I'm on my way home. Do you want me to bring anything back with me?"

"No, it's fine. I'll cook," She replied.

His eyebrow rose and he looked at her, "You're going to cook?"

She whacked him on the arm, "Shut up. Carry on like that and I'll keep the key in the back of the door and lock you out," She replied.

He smiled and did a quick look around to ensure no one was in the locker room with them, he leaned in and pecked her lips, "I'm joking, I look forward to it. I'll see you soon."

"You best be joking," She warned, playfully. "Now bye."

He chuckled and walked out to the car and set off the Corson's.


"Hey do you still need a lift?" Kim asked as she walked into the locker room after seeing Jay had left.

"Yes please," Erin replied and followed Kim out to the car.

As they were on their way to Erin and Jay's apartment, "Do you think Jay's going to be okay?"

"I hope so. He has put on an 'I'm okay' front all day. I think he will be okay after he visit's the Corson's. They knew about some of the stuff that he was going through, so I'm sure they'll understand. It's just Ally who didn't…"

"She seemed like such a delight," Kim laughed.

"Oh yeah, she's a real walk in the park. Always held a candle for Jay, and constantly wanted to get back with him over the years. She usually comes round on Ben's birthday and anniversary so he rarely sees her. I think she always thought her and Jay were destined, but he actually confessed a few weeks ago that he didn't really want to be with her as long as he was. I hope he's okay though, with that case we have just worked and now all this about forgetting Ben's birthday, I just know it's going to be hard for him," Erin sighed, she hadn't mentioned how the group therapy would've also taken a toll on him as they hadn't told anyone about him going back yet and she didn't want to betray him.

"I really hope he's okay. He needs something to go right for once. I don't think the Corson's will be too upset at him, maybe at the situation, but not at him."

"Me neither. If they're upset, they'll be upset because they can't celebrate their son's 18th birthday with him," Erin replied. "I'm not too worried about Jay, though."

"Good, I'm glad. Besides, he has you so I'm sure even if he's not fine, he will be. I'm very shocked that Voight let us have until midday tomorrow to go into work. Is he okay?"

Erin laughed, "I honestly don't know. Him willingly giving us until dinner time off tomorrow? I'm as shocked as you all are. I suppose it's because of the early mornings/late nights through that case. I reckon we will end up getting a case do we have to go in early, you know intelligence's luck! Do you have anything planned tonight?"

"I actually have a date," Kim replied.

"Really? Who with? Any of those wonderful tinder dudes we saw the other night?" Erin teased.

"No, no. I actually ran into him at a coffee shop three mornings in a row last week. Apparently he's new to the area. We planned on going out earlier in the week, but the case put a stop to that, but tonight we are finally getting a chance to go out," Kim said.

"I'm happy for you Kim, I really am!" Erin exclaimed, "Where are you going?"

"Purple pig. I've never been and you and Jay always rave about going there so when he suggested it, I jumped at the chance," She laughed, "He seemed really nice. We've been texting literally non stop since we met."

"Aww that's so sweet. I can't wait to hear all about it tomorrow," Erin replied as they pulled up in front of her building. "Let me know how it goes? and thank you for the lift. I really appreciate it."

"I'll text you when I get home and I'll give you all the details tomorrow. See ya," Kim said as Erin got out the car. She watched as she entered the building before driving off.


Jay drove through the familiar streets of his old town, vaguely recognising some of the people on the streets as he drove. He pulled up outside of the Corson's and sighed, he felt so awful for forgetting Ben's birthday. Of course he had a lot going on recently, but that wasn't an excuse. Well Erin had said it was understandable but deep down, Jay felt that it wasn't understandable. No matter what he was going through, he always remembered Ben's birthday. Every year since he had died, he had called, texted or shown up on the Day of Ben's birthday. But this year, he had completely forgot and he felt awful. He grabbed his phone, seeing he had a text, I love you xx - Erin.

He smiled and put it in his pocket before mustering up the courage to go and knock on the Corson's door. It seemed like an eternity for someone to open the door, but in reality it was less than thirty seconds. Danny came to the door and saw the guilt flash across Jay's face, "Come in, Jay. It's good to see you." He said, and opened the door for him to enter their home. He took him through to the living room before shouting through to the kitchen, "Gail! we have a visitor."

Gail came through to the living room and smiled when she saw Jay standing there. She rushed over to him and gave him a hug, she knew he'd come. "It's so good to see you! How have you been?" She asked, not yet mentioning the real reason he would be here.

"I- I'm so sorry. There really is no excuse… I completely forgot about the date. I absolutely hate myself for it and when Ally came -" He started but was interrupted.

"We told her not to go and see you. We explained that you had been having a rough time of it lately and that you were probably working," Danny explained, "It's okay."

"No, it's not okay. You're right though, I have had a rough time lately, but I've been getting better. A couple of months ago, not long after we met for breakfast, I hit a breaking point. I was given an ultimatum by my boss to basically get my shit together. Erin and I worked through everything and got back together," He informed them.

"Oh that's great! We were both sad when you told Danny that you two were no longer together, or at least alluded to it. We both love Erin so much, she's good for you," Gail gushed.

Jay shook his head, "Yeah, anyway. We got back together. But anyway, the reason I'd been so bad is that someone from my past, particularly from around the time my mom passed away, appeared and I don't know, I just cracked. Her appearance was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. There had been a lot of triggers over the past year and a half, but her appearing just kind of bought up all the issues that I thought I had dealt with to the surface. I had a lot of unresolved PTSD…"

"Jay, you really don't have to explain. We understand," Gail sympathised. Her and Danny had tried their best to be there for him after he came home and when his mom died, but he had pushed everyone away.

"I know you understand, but you shouldn't forgive me. I've been getting better and I'm in probably the best headspace I've ever been in since my mom died. There is no excuse for me forgetting Ben's birthday, especially such a big birthday too. Yeah, we were working a really rough case, too. But I was doing the same last year and still remembered and called you. I honestly have no excuse for forgetting the day yesterday. I apologise profusely," He told them. "Ally turned up to my work this morning, and saw me happy and I think that if I had been the 'heartbroken shell of myself' that she expected, it would've been easier for her to understand."

"Thank you for coming, Jay. I know it must've been hard for you. We don't blame you for not being there. Regardless of you being in a good place or not, you have done more than enough for this family. We understand that this has upset you, and yeah, it was upsetting not seeing you," Gail said and Jay bowed his head, clearly ashamed. "But, it doesn't change the fact that we understand. We know you have been going through a lot, and we get it, we really do. You and Erin are really good together, and hearing that you are back together has made me happy. You deserve happiness in your life, Jay Halstead."

He looked up at her with a watery smile, "I really am sorry. It won't happen again, I promise."

"You really need to stop apologising, son. So, how about some cake?" Danny suggested, and Jay grinned at him. Danny took that as his queue to go and cut the cake. When he came back in with the cake, the three of them sat and shared stories about Ben. What they would've done the day before if Jay had been there. The only difference? Ally wasn't there as she had to go home to Phoenix. Jay learnt that she had visited him at the precinct on the way to the airport. Jay felt happier than he had in months, the Corson's were like second parents to him, and he really appreciated them. When it was time for him to leave, he apologised once again, "I really am sorry for forgetting. I still feel absolutely awful."

Gail shook her head, "Jay, you coming around here today and showing us that you are getting better made us happier than if you had been hear yesterday and putting on a front, pretending that you were okay. We are just happy that you are doing better. Now don't be a stranger, and bring that wonderful girlfriend of yours by sometime."

Jay smiled and nodded as Danny passed him a box, "Here take some cake home for Erin too. See you soon?"

"Yeah, I'll see you both soon," He replied, giving them both a hug. "Thank you for the cake." He said his goodbyes and left their house. He got into the car and grabbed his phone out of his pocket and text Erin Hey babe. I'm on my way home, should be about 30 mins. Love you too, btw xx - Jay.


Erin heard Jay open the door to their apartment and turned off the tv. She went and started dishing out their dinner which she had made just for him - bangers and mash with onion gravy. "Hey, what's all this?" He asked walking into the kitchen and putting the box on the side.

"I made bangers and mash for dinner," She replied passing him a plate.

He grinned, it was one of his favourite meals. He leant down to kiss her, "Thank you."

They sat down on the couch and ate while watching an episode of friends, "So, how was it? Are you okay?" Erin asked after a while.

He nodded, "Yeah, it was okay. I couldn't apologise enough but they weren't too upset. They were much happier that I was doing better than they thought. They had told Ally not to come and see me, but I'm kind of glad she did. God knows how long it'd have taken me to remember that it had been Ben's 18th…" He shook his head, not wanting to think about it. "But they told me not to worry, they were glad that we were back together and that I was doing better."

"I'm glad you went. How do you feel though?" She asked.

He sighed, "I feel bad, but after listening to them talk about how they just want me to be happy and how I deserve happiness, I don't know, it's kind of nice. We sat, I had a slice of cake - they've sent some home for us both to share later - and we spoke about Ben. Laughing at some of the memories."

"Do you want to talk about him some more? I know I didn't know him, but I know talking about it is sometimes easier than not talking about it," She asked.

"Ben was just a brilliant kid. He saw me like an older brother more than anything, and we had loads of fun together," He laughed.

"He sounds like such a great kid."

"Yeah, he really was. He always said he wanted to be an army man, just like me. One Halloween, I was home on leave between tours, and he got a little army outfit, and we went out trick or treating together. I wore my fatigues and it was the best halloween in the history of halloween's according to him. Then when I became a police officer, he wanted to be a policeman. Was going to dress up as a policeman for Halloween… He never got to do that though, as that was the year he was killed," He sighed.

Erin put her now empty plate down on the table and put her arm around his shoulder to comfort him, "I'm sorry, that must be hard for you."

He nodded, "Yeah, it is a little bit. I actually have a picture somewhere of me and him on that Halloween, it's one of my all time favourite pictures. He could be a right little shit though, if me and Ally were babysitting him, he would never go to bed. He'd make me chase after him for hours on end - it was exhausting. He was also the biggest cock-block going. Honestly, if me and Ally got within 5cm of each other, he'd come running in, wanting to play or he'd wake up in the night and shout out for her or me."

Erin laughed, "Yeah, Justin was like that, I remember once, I was living with the Voight's and Hank and Camille had gone away for the weekend. Justin was 11 at the time, and I'd invited my boyfriend Tom over, because no way would he be allowed in the house while Voight was there. Anyway, Justin was such a little shit, kept running into my room when I was with Tom, claiming he didn't feel well and was scared of the monsters under his bed. The last time, he came in, Tom got up from my bed and said he'd take him back to his room and check for the monsters. As Tom walked over to him, Justin threw up all over him," She cringed at the memory and Jay chuckled. "He started crying, Justin, not Tom. Although, I think Tom wanted to cry. It was disgusting. I took Justin to the bathroom, where he threw up again - in the sink. I was almost sick myself. I managed to get Justin in the shower. I had to go into Hank's draws and find a tee and some sweats for Tom to get changed into as he needed a shower too."

"Oh my god…"

"I know! It was so bad. Once I got Justin sorted, I called Hank and Camille - who were six hours away - to let them know. They immediately packed up and drove back to come and take care of him. Leaving a 16 year old with a very unwell child wasn't exactly the best thing to do. I put Justin in his bed and he threw up. Then I decided to put him into my bed, and he threw up again. So, me, Tom and Justin went downstairs and we got bowls incase he was sick again. Tom actually cleaned it all up and washed both of our bedding, Justin's PJs and his own clothes while I looked after Justin. When Hank and Camille came home, it was like 8 o'clock in the morning, they walked in to see Justin cuddled up to Tom and me asleep on the opposite couch."

Jay chuckled, "I imagine Voight's reaction wasn't the best."

"Yeah, he was so annoyed that I had a boy stay over and wouldn't stop shouting… Camille actually whacked him across the back of the head for the way he was going on - it was brilliant! She said she didn't care because we had both looked after Justin."

"Wow, that's hilarious. Little brother's are very good cock blocks. Thankfully Ben was never sick all over me… I don't think that'd have gone down too well!" Jay laughed.

"God I miss him," She sighed.

Jay put his arm around her and let her cuddle up to him, "I know you do," He whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"I'm sorry for bringing him up today of all days…"

"Hey, don't apologise. You can talk about Justin whenever you want. I know you miss him, too. How about I go and get us our cake, and we eat it up and talk about some more funny memories of Ben and Justin?" He asked and she responded by nodding. He quickly got up from the sofa and grabbed their slices of cakes and two forks for them to eat it with. He passed one to Erin and had the other for himself.

After taking a bite of the cake, Erin groaned, "Oh my god that cake is incredible."

"It really is. This was Ben's favourite cake. Gail bakes it every year, but no one ever eats it but me. But she wanted you to have some. I think it was to thank you for sticking by me when I've been the biggest idiot in the world."

"You're not the biggest idiot in the world," She replied and Jay gave her a look, "Okay. You're a little bit of an idiot. But, you're my idiot and I wouldn't have you any other way."

He grinned at her, "I love you."

"I love you too," She replied and gave him a kiss.

"Okay, so did I ever tell you about the time my mom and Gail took me, Will, Ally and Ben up to our families cabin in Wisconsin?" He asked, and Erin shook her head so Jay began telling her the story. That was how the two of them spent the rest of their night, telling each other stories about Ben and Justin. Sitting together and sharing stories of two of the most important people in their lives seemed to have bring them even closer together.

AN: Finally know why Ally turned up! Hope everyone enjoyed it. Going to work on Just Tattoo of Us & Boy next door next! Not sure which one will be updated first. I finish isolating on Tuesday and back to work Wednesday so updated will definitely be slower after then! Let me know what you thought! :)