Peter slumped against the apartment door as it shut behind him. The internship was fun, and he'd never give up an opportunity like this, but he did wish that Mr. Stark wasn't ignoring him. Ever since Danny had come to live with them, it was like Mr. Stark had shut himself in the lab and wouldn't come out or let anyone else in. Peter had ideas for that portal, damnit! And Mr. Stark wasn't talking to him.

"Danny, I'm back!" He called into the quiet apartment. Danny didn't respond, so Peter shrugged and threw his backpack on the couch before wandering into the kitchen. The dishes from that morning were already done, which he had been fully expecting. He pulled open the fridge and grabbed a slice of leftover pizza from a ziploc bag, and shoved it in his mouth. Danny was probably taking a nap or something. Peter had learned over the past few weeks that Danny did that a lot, and Aunt May said it was because he was recovering.

Peter had just sat down on the couch with a second slice of pizza, ready to veg out to whatever garbage was on tv, when he heard a clatter from outside. A familiar clatter. The sound of the fire escape when you land on it too heavily! Was someone on the fire escape? Oh god, what if they were trying to break in! Should he call the cops? Wait, no, he's Spider-Man! He can handle this.

Peter heard the window in his room clunk open. He shoved the slice of pizza in his mouth as he grabbed the baseball bat that May kept next to the couch for 'emergencies'. Peter had joked about it when she first got it, but now he was so glad they had it. There was a loud crash from his room, and he startled a little, before beginning to creep silently down the hall. He could hear someone talking.

"What do you mean ' watch where we're going'? I am watching where we're going! You try navigating with someone clinging to you, ass wipe!"

That voice sounded familiar. Where had he heard it before? Peter yanked open the door to his room, bat raised and ready to attack… and froze. There was a large man standing in the middle of his room, dressed head to toe in red and black leather, and there was someone clinging to the mans shoulders and giggling. Peter locked eyes with the man and the half eaten slice of pizza fell out of his mouth.

"Deadpool?" he asked.

"Aw, kid, you're wasting food! Gross!" a head popped up over Deadpools shoulder and Peter looked over to see glowing white hair and bright teal eyes staring at him.

"Danny?" Peter lowered the bat a little.

"Peter!" Danny chirped back, wrapping himself further around the broad shoulders of Deadpool. "You're safe!"

"Hey, uh, Peter. We, well, I was just in the neighborhood, so I thought, 'why don't I stop by and check up on that kid', right? So, um. I'll just... be going. Now." Peter stared at him as the man inched back towards the window with Danny still wrapped around his shoulders. "No, you're fucking this up!" Deadpool hissed off to the side.

"What is… I mean… what?" Peter sputtered.

"Wade, we can't leave!" Danny whined.

"No, it's fine, you stay here and I'll go… somewhere else."

"You can't leave! It's not safe! What if you die when I'm not looking?" Deadpool froze. Peter stared. Danny curled himself tighter around Deadpools shoulders.

"Um… do you… I mean… you don't have to leave, Mr. Deadpool." What was he saying?! Of course Deadpool should leave! But… Danny looked so upset at the idea. "Do you want some… I mean, there's some leftover pizza... if you're hungry?"

"Ohh, pizza. You sure know the way to a guys heart, kid. Of course I'll stay if you want me too." Peter smiled uncertainly, and Danny purred. Wait, what? Deadpool patted the top of Danny's head. "Lead the way, Peter pumpkin pie!"

Deadpool followed Peter to the kitchen, where Peter gave him a couple slices of pizza and grabbed another for himself. "Danny, are you… um. Are you hungry?" Danny giggled, still purring.

"Don't be silly, ghosts don't need to eat." Peter laughed uncertainly at the joke, and Danny grinned a toothy, fanged smile at him. Wait. Fanged? Should he be freaking out? No, it's fine. Peter knew Danny was enhanced, so what if the fangs were a bit of a surprise. It's fine, nothing he can't handle. Or shove to the back of his mind to process later.


May sighed as she trudged up the last flight of stairs to the apartment. The elevator was still broken, which she didn't normally mind, but today she had worked an hour of overtime and was ready to collapse. At least she had the weekend off before she was switched back to night shift.

May leaned against the door frame as she dug through her purse for the house hey, and smiled at the sound of the TV. May knew that Peter didn't usually watch a lot of television when he got home, he was usually much more interested in doing something active, so it was nice to know that he was probably showing Danny some of their worlds media. May opened the door and the sound from the tv became audible.

(S3, Ep11'three on a couch')"She's always harping on us to do everything just right. I'm surprised she doesn't check our underwear before we leave the house!" May glanced over at the living room as she closed the door and paused. Since when does Peter watch the Golden Girls? "Those of you who wear underwear."

A mans uproarious laughter startled May as she realized it came, not from the TVs laugh track, but from her couch. Where Peter was sitting with his head in his hands. Sitting next to Peter there was a broad shouldered figure dressed in red and black, head leaned back, and clearly the one who was laughing.

May stared at this scene as she toed her shoes off. Should she be concerned? There was a strange man in her home, sitting on the couch alone with her teenage nephew, who she was responsible for. So, yes, she should be concerned. But at the same time, May knew that Peter could take care of himself, and he didn't look too distressed.

May set her purse down on the table next to the door and watched for a little bit longer. Peter looked embarrassed, but not distressed. Okay, nothing new. But there wasn't much else she could gather from this by just watching, so she may as well announce her presence.

"What the fuck is going on here?" she asked as calmly as she could, causing Peter to jump and the strange man to turn off the TV.

"Aunt May!" Peter yelped, tumbling off the couch and turning to face her, eyes wide.

"Hi! It's nice to meet you!" The man said, reaching his arm over the back of the couch towards her, as though to shake her hand. May raised an eyebrow, and the hand drooped.

"May!" Danny chirped excitedly, materializing on the mans shoulder as though he'd been there the entire time. May screamed when he appeared.

"What the fuck?!" Danny's eyes were glowing bright teal, and his hair was bright white… and… and he'd just appeared out of thin air. And he was glowing. "What the fuck? Someone explain what's happening. Why is Danny glowing? Why is his hair white? What happened to his eyes? Did he just appear out of thin air? Who are you and what are you doing in my house?"

"My name's Deadpool. Or Wade. Wade Winston Wilson, if you nasty. Sup, babe?" the red suited my pointed finger guns at her, and she got the distinct impression that he was leering.

"Don't flirt with my Aunt!" Peter shouted at the man. Danny grinned at her. Were those fangs? What the fuck was going on? She didn't have the energy to deal with this right now.

"Does anyone else want some tea?" She asked.

"Yes please, Aunt may!" Deadpool - Wade? - chirped.

"Sure, Aunt… Hey! She's my Aunt, not yours!"

"No thank you, miss May. Ghosts don't need human food." And, yep. Those were fangs. Okay. Her nephew was a spider mutant, and the kid from the other dimension had fangs, and was maybe a ghost. She could handle this. This was fine.


This was not fine. This was not fine. Also, this was all Starks fault. After May had made some tea, she had sat down across from Peter and… Wade, while Wade explained that he was actually the one who had found Danny first, and had basically orchestrated the rescue attempt.

When he got to where he had left Danny in the safe hands of Tony Stark, Peter had abruptly stood up from the couch and loudly exclaimed that Tony had told him to stay well clear of Wade/Deadpool. Which then caused Wade to declare that he should go… which resulted in Danny bursting into hysterics and screaming about how Wade couldn't leave because Wade would die if Danny wasn't there to save him. May had a headache.

So now, here May was with one hysteric teenager, one anxious teenager, and a very well armed fully grown man in a red leather gimp suit who was holding on to said hysteric teenager. What was her life? When people had told her that the teenage years were the hardest for a parent to help their child navigate, was this what they meant? May didn't think that she had wanted to strangle Tony and leave him in a ditch off the highway to rot more than she did at this moment. She also wanted a nap.

May put her head in her hands and listened as Wade attempted to cajole Danny into letting go of him so he could leave, and the resultant uptick in hysterical crying. Peter stood off to the side shifting from foot to foot looking guilty. May took a deep, calming breath.

"Mr. Wilson," she said, lifting her head from her hands. Wade turned to face her, awkwardly patting Danny on the back as he did so. "Please sit back down and finish your story."

"And then I should leave?" he asked. Danny let out a warbling sob.

"I'm not so sure that would be good for Danny right now. Please, sit." Wade sat, and Danny crawled into his lap and pressed his face against Wades chest, still sobbing.

By the time Wade had finished his story, Danny had calmed down and was just hiccuping occasionally. May felt numb. Danny had been shot? Danny had died?! Peter looked like he was in as much shock as May. Silence filled the room, and Wade cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Should I go?" He asked quietly. Danny whimpered.

"I think," May started slowly. "That you should probably stay, at least for the time being. You've both been through a lot today, and I think Danny, at least, needs to know that you're okay. He seems pretty attached to you."