Rain pitter pattered on the windshield in a soft drum. The low grumble of the car mixed with the muffled whistling of the wind against the windows made the air feel calm. But he couldn't feel relaxed. Anxiety bubbled inside of him, his toes tapped impatiently and he couldn't focus on one thing on the road for too long. Playing music would be too much, but being alone with his thoughts wasn't much better. He didn't know where he was, the long stretch of road ahead of him was completely unknown. He was in a new town, one that looked much nicer than his. The houses were taller than they were wide, with large paneled windows that stretched from floor to ceiling. The roofs were built in nonsensical shapes, and opulent gardens decorated the front yards.
Edd sighed, there was no turning back now. He scheduled this meeting two weeks ago, and ever since his nerves have been uncontrollably wild. He hasn't seen or talked to Matt in nine years, and it was for that reason that this trek to his new house seemed to go on for ages. Truthfully, he had no idea what he had done in that length of time, once Edd moved into a house with his new family an hour away from him, they drifted apart. He tried everything in his power to keep them as strong as ever, but adulthood had done them a disservice, and their lives were just too busy. Then it became awkward to talk, then they didn't at all. It hit the hardest when Edd tried to call Matt only to learn he had gotten a new number, and the realization that there was barely a way to contact him anymore sat heavy in the back of his mind. Someone who was once a friend, now a distant memory. But he had a job, and a family to take care of now, and life went on. Until a month back, Edd discovered a familiar face on social media. He sent a friend request, and he accepted. He was too nervous to say anything, in fear it would disturb the odd tension between a lifelong friend. But as soon as he gave the first word, Matt was ecstatic to talk to him again. He not only agreed to meet with Edd, but insisted to see each other as soon as possible. So now was that day, and Edd didn't know how to feel.
Matt's driveway was long and twisted into a multi-car garage that was separate from the house. It looked newly paved with thick black asphalt that felt smooth against Edd's rickety old tires. The sun was setting behind the house, and the golden outline shone against the back, making it look like some sort of holy place. It was gorgeous and obscenely high-end, just like Matt was. Yeah, this is definitely the place, Edd smirked to himself. The lights were already on in multiple rooms, one being what looked like the kitchen from far away. As Edd crept closer, his nerves fired up fast, he really didn't know what to say to him when he answered the door. He had no idea what life was like for him now, and Matt was no help on the phone. He insisted when Edd asked how he was doing that, "I'll tell you all about it when you get here! I can't spoil anything!"
Shutting off the transmission, Edd drew in a deep breath. How could he be so nervous about someone he knew inside and out? It seemed like only yesterday they were passing silly notes to each other in class, worried the teacher would catch them goofing off. He struggled to find the doorbell, the house had that fancy modern twang where things didn't make much sense. He cursed Matt under his breath as his eyes frantically searched around the doorframe. Then, his eyes fell on a sneaky circle in the frame and pushed it. The button pressed and sent a baritone of welcome through the house signaling his arrival. On the other side of the door, hurried footsteps came to meet the entrance. They were light and bouncy, and as the door opened Edd looked down to the small figure of a little girl. Her expression dropped as she peered up at him, and she visibly gulped. She twirled her finger through a lock of her auburn hair, "Hello?"
"Hi little one," Edd tried to soften his voice to ease her fear of the stranger. "I'm here for Mr. Hargraves, can you get him for me?" He was going to use Matt's first name, but he was unsure if she would recognize it or not. The presence of the child was puzzling, she didn't look any younger than ten, so it must be a relative of his. But Edd thought he knew Matt's family intimately, and he struggled to think of which baby in his family would be her age until she turned and shouted as she walked away, "Dad!"
Dad? Edd echoed. There's no way! The math didn't make any sense, she would have to be at least nine if Matt had her the year they broke apart, but he wasn't seeing anyone then... He heard a familiar voice speak to her from the other room, and as Edd tried to see where it was coming from, he took in the first full view of the inside of the house. If it wasn't made incredibly obvious to Edd before, it was a smack in the face now that Matt became very well off. A wave of intimidating jealousy washed over him as he saw the display of riches around him. Paintings, small sculptures, fancy trims on the walls, decorative vases, mirrors, it was almost ridiculous. One vase he immediately recognized from being in Matt's room a long time back when they lived together, Edd couldn't help but smile, a hoarder never gives up his trinkets, huh?
"Edd!" Matt's voice boomed and bounced off the walls of the foyer, snapping him back into the present. Matt was walking over to him with wide open arms. Smiling like an idiot upon seeing him, Edd fought not to run up to him but instead greeted his hug calmy. He accepted the warmth from his best friend with overflowing joy, Matt really didn't change much at all. Other than dressing more formally, he still wore the same color palette as he always did. A soft lilac sweater over a white button up shirt made him look like a much more grown up version of himself, but his hair spiked up with wax made him look just the same to Edd. "Oh good buddy how I've missed you..." Matt said quietly over Edd's shoulder before breaking their embrace.
"Jesus, Matt. How long has it been? Are you eighty yet? Where are all your grey hairs?" Edd joked, but he was well aware of exactly how much time they've spent apart. The guilt rose up in his throat again, and he couldn't quite process that the man he once saw every day was now beginning small talk with him as if they were only work acquaintances.
Matt laughed, "don't you dare joke about that, I'm not that old am I?"
"Nah, you don't look like a day older than the last I saw you." Edd ensured.
"Here, let me take your coat." Matt offered and held an arm out. Suddenly an insecurity sparked out, Matt looked perfectly well put together, bright and proper, but Edd was showing his age quite clearly. He hadn't shaved in a couple weeks, allowing his whiskers to grow unkempt. He wore the same heavy black trench coat any time it got a little cold, and his shirt was worn. He had really let himself go in the past decade, and against such a properly made companion, it was absurdly clear that Edd looked like a complete mess. No wonder his daughter was scared of me...
"So, a little girl, ey? When were you going to tell me that buddy?" Edd snarked as Matt hung his coat in a nearby hallway closet.
Matt showed him a beaming smile of pride, "not just one, five!"
Edd nearly choked on air, "five? When the hell did you have time to pump out all that?"
Matt waved him over to the room next to the foyer. It seemed like one of those rooms people with big houses have where it functions as a living room, but no one really spends time in it. Picture frames littered every flat surface he could see, he recognized a few members of Matt's family, and on one table, an old photo of the two of them with Tom.
Matt grabbed a frame and held it up for Edd to see, he pointed at a blonde man standing beside Matt, "this is my partner, Danny, he's at work right now but he'll be home soon and I can't wait for you to meet him!" Edd looked up at him impressed. Matt always seemed like such a hopeless romantic, he was glad he finally seemed to end up with someone. Moving his finger to the same little girl he met earlier, Matt introduced Edd to the rest of his family, "this is Robin and her brother Roy." Roy was in Robin's likeness, just a little older. "This is Tatianna," he motioned to a smaller girl dressed in pink, "Demeter, our oldest," Matt paused on the teenager's name. His smile cracked a little and Edd noticed him start to stare, something wasn't right, but before he could say anything Matt moved on, "and our newest addition, Rain." He finished on the baby he was holding in the photo. Edd took in how happy everyone looked, their shining smiles so genuine, for a moment he wondered if he would ever experience that again. He reminded himself again of this Demeter girl and how it caused Matt to act that way, he decided maybe now wasn't the time to bring it up, but he was sure to find out before he left.
Matt showed Edd to the proper living room and they sat down. He left for a moment to get them both a glass of wine, and Edd had a moment to reflect. Matt simultaneously seemed like a different person yet exactly the same. He was much more...humble, he was glad to see that he could be just as cheery and excitable as he always has been but still be mindful of others. He was so grateful that Matt was so happy to see him again, what if he never saw him again after they drifted apart? Edd couldn't say that the distance made him as happy, and he wasn't excited to update Matt on how his life had gone south since.
"So enough about my daughters, what about yours? Amy's what, ten now? Oh! She and Robin should be friends wouldn't that be so cute!" Matt entered the room with two glasses of rich red wine.
Edd took a sip, "ah, indeed she is, and they should." He tried to ease into the subject slowly, still unsure how to go about it.
"So you and Stacy decided to only have one?"
"Yeah..."
"How is she? You should have brought her, I miss her too."
"Ah...yes, well, about that..." Edd took a bigger drink of the wine, wishing he would loosen up already. "Stace and I split up a few years ago."
"Oh," Matt's face dropped and flushed hot with embarrassment. "I'm really sorry to hear that, you still see Amy right?"
"Yeah, I got weekends," he avoided Matt's glare. It was awkward having the worst parts of your life displayed in front of someone who seemingly had their life put together in all the ways he didn't. "Don't feel bad though, it wasn't too rough for us."
"Any particular reason why?"
"No, just, things didn't work out. I'm getting on just fine though," he lied. He didn't know what the point was to lie about something like that. Edd knew he could trust Matt with all of his demons, but maybe it wasn't a good idea to lay out all the bad on the table so quickly.
"Hey, well, you have me now," Matt smiled at him, his voice came soft and understanding. "And this time, I won't let us lose contact again, not ever! You're stuck with me until we're in retirement homes."
Edd allowed himself to relax more, it felt good to be around someone so positive. There was such a charm in the way Matt would be so optimistic, it seemed like he could brighten up any room he was in with his sunshiny attitude. It was refreshing, even when talking about something not so cheery, to have someone who wouldn't judge him and could bring a smile to his face with ease. As they talked over their wine, Edd told Matt the story of the divorce, the seemingly endless paperwork, the court dates, the pricey lawyers. And as he did, he grew much more comfortable with Matt, it was like they were never apart. His bad mood fled with time, and soon enough they were laughing over nothing like young adults again.
"I tell you, I can definitely wait until Amy becomes a teenager, I don't want to be in the position my father was in when we did the stupid shit we did!" Edd laughed, referring to old memories the boys shared.
"Tell me about it, how would you react if she came home and told you that she and her friends set fireworks off inside a trash can too close to the neighbors' house and it set their lawn on fire?"
"I remember your mum's face so clearly! Oh, to be sixteen again." Edd finished his third glass of wine. "Hey, didn't you say your kid was sixteen? Better watch out, she could be a troublemaker like you were."
"Right..." Matt trailed off, his expression fading.
Edd took notice of his tone shift, and he thought now was a decent time to bring up his suspect from earlier, "is there something wrong?"
For a second Matt didn't answer, it looked like he was finding the words to say. Edd thought for a second maybe he shouldn't have said anything, but before he could take the words back, Matt looked back up to him, soreness in his eyes. "Something very bad happened a little while ago," he began. He looked thoughtfully at the ground and shifted his sitting position uncomfortably, struggling to figure out how to go on. "I-I'm not sure how to tell this story to you, it's a little...political."
"What do you mean?" there was caution edging Edd's words.
"How do you feel about the Red Army?" Matt said bluntly, not giving any hints of his own feelings towards the matter. The Red Army, the name itself sent a rock to the bottom of Edd's stomach. What didn't he feel about the Red Army? Fourteen years ago, everyone's lives changed when a group of vigilantes who dubbed themselves 'The Red Army' assassinated England's officials and swiftly took over the country. Taking the crown out of power, their wrath swept the nation with chaos, violence breaking out every day in major cities. Stories of protestors being murdered en masse littered the news, and over the course of that year's summer, a new government was set into place. A dictatorship ruled by someone Edd would never expect, someone he knew personally. Since, England has only gotten worse over time. While it was rough at first, the Red Army quickly dug its claws into the flesh of modern English society as they knew it. A police force gathered, a ruthless system run by pseudo-soldiers who used death as a primary tool, a new controlled source of media that biased towards propaganda foremost, and a prison system that focused on punishment and torture rather than rehabilitation. As technologies advanced, so did the control. Robotics were now the norm, and holograms displayed ads everywhere you went. Economics were dominated by digital governmentally tracked transactions, and banks became increasingly insecure. Taxation rose, pushing class boundaries further into polarity, causing a rift in social norms. War broke out between nations, and over the course of the army's rule, Norway, France, Poland, the Netherlands, Belgium, and Denmark were all taken over as what was now called "The Red Nations." Currently, The Red Nations are at war with Czechia on the eastern front and America on the western front. It was predicted that Czechia would fall by the end of the year, but things were always uncertain. It seemed impossible that such a small rebel group could snowball into an unstoppable brutal force that wreaked havoc on all of Europe, but that's just how life was now. Neighbour turned on neighbour, because if you spoke out against the establishment, there was a chance you would never be heard from again. Where Edd stood on the matter was obvious, he didn't like the oppression. He thought that everyone felt the same, but over the years he had begun to lose faith in those he trusted, as they began to believe the government's lies. Either that, or his loved ones didn't trust him enough to say how they really felt. One thing's for sure, they would never silence him. Could it be that Matt also wasn't a slave to the big brother?
Edd wasted no time voicing his radical view, "they can kiss my ass, I'm not afraid of any make-believe 'soldiers' marching in the streets with their toy guns and superiority complexes. Why?"
Matt seemed relieved, and gave a smile half to himself. There was something that set apart the two of them from the average belief. The knowledge they shared was something special to them, and the fact that they felt the same way sent a wash of relief over them both. "Besides the obvious, the army has affected my family in a way I can never forgive," he looked out the window, hurt clouded his eyes. "Four months ago, June 15th, I'll never forget the date, an enforcer came to my door asking for Demeter." Edd recognized the term, enforcers was a slang term for the Red Army's police force. Not quite the same thing as a soldier, but a corrupted police officer on a mission to stamp out those who spoke ill of the Army or its members. Matt went on, "they told us she was being arrested for conspiring against the government. They told us that she was planning a vigilante heist with an online group of teenagers to damage government property."
"Was it true?"
Instead of answering his question, he continued, "I told her that they couldn't arrest her without showing me proof. But they busted in anyway, they took her from her room and put her in handcuffs. I tried to do something but they threatened to shoot me if I attacked them. She...admitted to it. She swore at them, kicked and screamed, and I couldn't do a fucking thing. Just as quickly as they came, they took my daughter away." Matt took a moment to breathe, it was clearly still hurting him as if it happened yesterday. "I looked at her computer and it was all true, I found documents about conspiracy theories and chat rooms where they were planning to go to city hall and set it on fire. I found designs for posters she was going to make. I had no idea any of this was happening. And now," he looked at Edd straight in the eye, a menacing glare that was so unusual for him unnerved Edd a little. "We're on a watchlist. They think we're a dangerous family, and an enforcer comes by once a week at different times to check up on us so that we are always taken by surprise. Sometimes even in the middle of the night. We have no idea where she is now, and my family hasn't known peace since."
"Jesus Christ, Matt..." Edd allowed the silence to still the grief that sat between them. "I'm so sorry that happened to you."
"It's alright." Matt lied.
"Do you think she's...?"
"Dead?" Matt finished, "I don't know. I try not to think about that, but my heart tells me she's still out there, probably in a cell with others like her." There was an awkward silence that followed. When he noticed the wine bottle was emptied between them, he slapped his knees and stood up. Holding out a hand to help Edd up, he said, "come on, no more heavy subjects! I want to show you around."
They continued into the various rooms of Matt's house, chatting about small details of their designs. Soon enough the discussion of Demeter was buried and the mood was brightened once more. But Edd's mind was still brewing with thoughts about it, Matt's daughter was a conspiracy theorist. He wondered what kind of things she knew, what those documents were about, and how the Army tracked her down. Where would she have gone? Could there be some secret prisons made for people who did these types of wrongs? A certain guilt clutched his stomach hard, he held the same dramatic views as Demeter seemed to, and their mutual curiosity of the government's corruption fueled their rage. But Edd was luckier, he had never been reprimanded for his opinion. The worst he's gotten was strange or scowling looks from family members or strangers at the bar. There were a few times where he would get a disapproving tug on his shirt from his now ex-wife when he went a little too far on his political rants with others. But that's all it was, ranting. He never considered that there would be greater consequences for this treason, punishable by inhumane crimes like abduction and predictably death. He thought of his own child, what would he do if Amy was taken away from him? He wouldn't let it happen, no stupid enforcer could step foot in my house without getting clocked. But he was in the presence of someone who had gone through such trauma, and his thoughtful speculations were nothing compared to the pain of losing a child that Matt, his best friend, had suffered. He knew that no matter how much he was going through with the divorce and job troubles, Matt's seemingly perfect family had their issues too. It wasn't right to feel jealous of their wealth, their wealth was nothing compared to the tightly woven love between its members. He hoped that he would be a part of that with Matt again, that he could help him through this, and together they would solve the mystery of his stolen child. They were walking through the upstairs hallway when Edd spotted a familiar portrait on the wall. It pictured the two of them with Tom, standing together smiling. Tom was on the left, leaning up against the railing of a bridge, Edd in the middle taking the picture, and Matt's arm around Edd's shoulders, the sun setting behind them. He looked so much younger, just barely twenty-two at the time, their smiles so genuine. Edd stood in front of it for a moment, he hadn't seen this picture since Matt moved out of the apartment complex all those years ago. "I'm surprised you still have this."
"You're joking right?" Matt giggled and stood next to him, admiring the frame himself. When Edd didn't answer, he added, "I'd never let it go. Those are the greatest friends of my life right there."
"You still talk to Tom?" Edd cocked his head to the side.
"Ha, no. I didn't mean that. You mean you don't either?"
"No...I lost contact with him a long time ago."
"But I thought he stayed in the complex after we moved out? I thought you hung out all the time."
Edd shook his head. "No, well, yes he did stay after we left. About three-ish years after we stopped talking, Tom lost his job and had to move in with his cousin in London I believe. Or was it a friend...I can't remember. But, after he moved I called him once and he just never talked to me again after that. It was very abrupt."
"That's so strange, I hope he's okay."
"He was having phone issues at the time, and he kept mentioning he was going to get a new one, so when he stopped answering I thought he got a new number, but he just never called me back. I still don't know why." What Edd didn't include was how much it hurt Edd at the time. His daughter just turned two, and it was like Tom was an uncle to her, he would come over almost every weekend and spend time like he was an essential part of the family. Where did those days go?
"Where in London did he say he was moving to?" Matt asked, interrupting Edd's spiral of thoughts.
"I don't think he ever said."
"You were that close and he never told you where he was going?"
"If he did I can't remember. It wasn't that big of a deal at the time, I thought I could just visit him soon. I didn't think it would be important!"
"Hm, well...I guess this means he would rather be left alone." Matt sighed sadly. He looked up at the picture again and let his thoughts slip out. "I guess it'll never be like that again, will it?"
"No, probably not." Edd said coldly. The reality of the statement was one he had been dealing with for a long time, he was numb to the fact that the days only go by faster and he can only get older. "If only we knew how good those days were while we were living them. Don't you remember how we were feeling at the time?"
"Ah, no. Not really. I remember we went to the beach right?"
"Yeah. Two weeks after Tord moved out. We were twenty-two." The name hung in the air.
"Oh, that's right. It was you who took us out wasn't it? To cheer everyone up? I think you were the only one in need of cheering up though." Matt punched him in the arm at the joke.
"Yeah, and look where we all are now." Edd said melancholically.
"Hey, it's okay! We have each other now. He has his own life now and he is free to do as he wishes, and that's not our concern anymore." Matt tried to be the voice of reason, but Edd wasn't convinced.
He shrugged him off, "if being a dictator is what it means to be free then I'm not sure."
"I was talking about Tom." Matt crossed his arms and looked at him unimpressed. It seemed like he was offended that Edd assumed he felt bad for the other member of their team. Either that, or he was upset that Edd did, he couldn't tell either way how Matt was feeling.
"Oh."
"Listen-" just as Matt was about to continue, they heard someone coming through the front door. Joyous noises of children followed and Matt's expression changed. Almost like he completely forgot what they were talking about, Matt urged Edd downstairs to meet the missing member of the house.
A few hours passed, Edd started to grow weary as the moon shone high above the sky and people across the neighbourhood started shutting off their lights. The three adults sat at the dining room table talking about unimportant things. He mostly let Matt and his husband talk, the alcohol started to take a toll on him. He was grateful that Matt had been so hospitable tonight, allowing him not only in his home, but meeting his family that clearly meant the world to him. This trust touched Edd, even after so many years apart, he was trusted. Overall, Edd was impressed with how well Matt was doing. It made him happy seeing how well he got on, a family, and in their conversation he learned that he became a small business owner. Such a thing was next to impossible in the current climate. He admired how well he could handle the struggle, admittedly Matt was a lot stronger than Edd thought he was. Maybe because he hadn't had the opportunity to see him flourish for himself, but either way he was glad that he was healthy. He couldn't help but stifle a yawn as his fatigue grew. Matt seemed to take notice and pointed it out, "getting tired, Edd?"
"Yeah it's getting to be around that time, huh, I should probably get going-" Edd groaned as he started to get up. Before he could stand, Matt outstretched his arms and urged him to sit back down.
"Nono, you're not getting behind the wheel with wine in you."
"Oh! Don't worry, I didn't have that much, I'm fine."
"No, you'll have to stay the night, that's okay right?" Matt turned to Danny and he nodded in agreement. "It's already settled then, we have a guest bedroom for a reason!"
Of course you have a guest bedroom, Edd thought, but he didn't resist. Soon enough, they said their farewells as Matt pushed him in the doorway. There wasn't much in the room, it was simply decorated but it didn't bother Edd too much. It has the right touch of Matt. He frowned, eyeing an expensive looking mirror on the wall close to the door with raised eyebrows. He let out a sigh he was saving and slipped off his shirt and tossed it on the floor next to the bed. There was a lot to take in. Things seemed to be so different and yet the same as it always was. It was easy to talk to Matt, like it always has been, but the circumstances were so different. His unmatched charm continued to sparkle in his eyes when he spoke, and his prideful remarks made Edd chuckle when he thought of them. But at the same time, hearing about all the things that kept them apart for so long was draining. Work, family, money, politics, business, taxes, all these things seemed so boring as opposed to all the adventures that they used to go on all the time in their brighter youth. How could they let the grey angst of adulthood cloud their fun? He allowed it to happen, he could have reached out at any time but he let the ticking clock of age march onwards, forcing himself into the same schedule of work and sleep. He allowed himself to break his own family, the one he loved to leave him, his own child to be limited to two days a week. Wait a minute, Edd looked up from the floor suddenly as his phone lit up and buzzed, it's Saturday tomorrow isn't it?
He rushed over to the phone and read the contact name. Immediately upon viewing it, his heart sank, realizing the mistake he made. "Hello?"
"Hey. I'm going to be there at about eleven tomorrow, everything's good?"
"Ah, about that...I'm not home right now, actually," Edd cringed at himself. Heat overtook his spine in embarrassment, he had been too careless.
"What? Where are you?"
"Matt's, surprisingly."
"Matt's? Like, Matt Hargraves?"
"Yeah, it's a funny story actually," Edd began awkwardly as he got into the story of him getting into contact with Matt and the venture of today. "So he insisted I stay overnight because of the alcohol, and I couldn't drive so that's where I am now. I'm staying in his guest room, it's actually very cozy, very him, as you could expect-"
"O-okay, that's very nice, but what about our daughter? What time are you going to be home tomorrow then?"
"Um..." he didn't know how to proceed. "Well I'm not sure when I'll be up and out, you know?"
She huffed, clearly annoyed, "well, I have somewhere to be too, can you be there by one?"
Edd looked around, mulling it over in his head. No matter what, his duties as a father come before friendships. No matter how much he wanted to spend time with Matt and return home to the stress and emptiness, the world just wouldn't allow it. "What if I picked her up on the way home? Less driving for you."
"Are you suggesting I leave her home alone until you decide to show up?"
He pinched his nose, getting impatient, "I'll be there, I just think it'll be more convenient."
"It sounds like an excuse for you to be late to me. Seriously, you're going to drive up hungover at who knows what time? I can't be-"
"I'll show up, Stacy! Jesus, I won't be hungover, do I sound wasted to you? She's ten, she can handle being alone for twenty minutes max while she waits for me. Just go do what you need to do, I'll be there, I promise." Through gritted teeth, he growled in annoyance and hung up before she could argue further. Why do you always think I'm some lowlife drunk? You just happen to catch me all the times I drink. Distracting himself from the melodrama between him and his ex, he scrolled through his contacts. Scrolling past his coworkers and family members, he finally landed on the longest lasting collection of numbers and names. Matt's old number was still attached to an old photo of him holding a glass up with a wide smile showing his teeth from a new years party. He smiled to himself and scrolled past it. A little further down sat the one he was looking for, Thomas Bridgewell. The contact picture was nothing more than a blurry image of him playing the bass, his hair a blurred mass of light brown as he rocked his head to whatever music he was listening to at the time. His thumbs grazed over the number and without thinking he called it. He stared blankly at the screen when it was immediately disconnected. Oh Tom, where are you...Edd sank under the sheets of the guest bed and hung his phone high over his head. He fought the thought, but he knew there was only one other person who might have had a lead.
"What is it," she sounded unimpressed.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hang up on you earlier." Edd put the phone on the bed next to his ear and ducked his shoulders under the covers.
"It's fine." Stacy's voice stayed flat.
"But I was wondering something," Edd started. "When Tom moved, do you remember where in London he said he was going?"
"You didn't really call back to apologize, did you?" When Edd didn't reply, she sighed, "that was years ago Edd I don't remember a detail like that. Besides, it wouldn't matter anyway after the rezoning. I don't know where anything in London is anymore."
"Are you sure? You don't remember him saying anything about where he was going?"
"You're his best friend, why don't you know?"
"I..." Edd struggled to find words. "I don't know."
"Goodnight, Edd." Stacy finished, not wanting to continue the conversation anymore.
"Night." Edd went to hang up, but the beep of the ended call prevented him from doing so. He let the phone screen go dark on its own as he stared up at the ceiling. He tried to grasp at the long buried memories of when Tom left. The boxes, the moving trucks. But big blank spots blocked out most of that time. Tiny shots of Tom managed to come through, he was acting so strange and it all happened so fast. He was out and gone within a matter of two weeks. It was so wild that he could have just got up and left so suddenly, and it seemed like he never said goodbye. Edd took it to mean that it wasn't goodbye. It didn't feel like one, he would just see him that very weekend. He would help him move out of the apartment building he once lived in himself and talk that night. But he didn't, it never happened. He wasn't just busy, he was gone for good. Matt's words echoed in his head, they didn't feel right. Edd thought he knew Tom inside and out, if he secretly had an issue with their friendship, there was no way he would be able to hide it from him. If he was struggling with work, Tom would have complained about it. Nothing fit, and if Edd could get into contact with Matt so easily, maybe Tom could be the same. It was decided then, Edd closed his eyes and said quietly to himself, as if it was a personal affirmation, "Tom. I'm going to come find you."
