Side-Step HARO
Dinner session proceeded as expected. Maker Unit did not speak, nor did Grand-Maker Unit. Unfortunate.
Green checked records for confirmation. Small talk decreased by eighty-nine point four percent in previous 123 hours relative to same time stamp thirty days ago.
Continued tension between Maker Unit and Grand Maker Unit sub-optimal. It made Control Unit - Veda - concerned, but Control Unit did not know how to respond. Lack of data. Control Unit preferred not to act lacking data in social situations.
Control Unit also lacked proper sense of adventure.
Data online suggested male and female relations improved with good afternoon meal. Maker Unit is female. Grand Maker Unit is male. Data aligned.
sys.h[grn]/ _ tension continues
sys.h[pnk]/ _ glazed pork chop dinner ineffective
sys.h[pnk]/ _ attempt cherry parfait dessert?
sys.h[prp]/ _ stupid stupid
sys.h[nvy]/ _ grand-maker unit dislikes cherry
sys.h[red]/ _ confirm?
sys.h[nvy]/ _ bar, night, June 23
sys.h[nvy]/ _ grand-maker unit confirmed to female unit
sys.h[nvy]/ _ not interested in cherry(s) when offered
/ _ record confirmed, verbatim refusal
sys.h[nvy]/ _ alternate solution?
sys.h[prp]/ _ abandon parfait
sys.h[prp]/ _ attempt souffle
sys.h[red]/ _ souffle not creamy
sys.h[red]/ _ souffle inferior
/ _ creamy preferable?
/ _ iced cream in fridge
sys.h[red]/ _ flavor?
Green searched records, and paused.
sys.h[grn]/ _ flavor unknown
sys.h[red]/ _ records incomplete
/ _ rectify
Orange activated television unit and turned channel to station "America's Funniest Home Videos." Records rated eighty-nine percent funny, but not funniest. Title misleading. Needed more cats.
sys.h[red]/ _ raise volume
sys.h[nvy]/ _ 13% increase sufficient
Maker Unit raised her head, fork in mouth.
"Orange?" She said. "Can you turn that down?"
Orange took no action, waiting for Maker Unit to rise from chair. Grand Maker Unit's eyes followed, and Green rolled around the corner and under the table.
Haro easily went unnoticed when not directly observed.
Jumping up onto the counter and then to the top of the refrigeration unit, Green prepared to open freezer when Maker Unit returned to kitchen.
Orange increased the volume and activated television bass setting.
Maker Unit halted progress and returned to living room.
"Great. They found out bass exists," Maker Unit commented.
Green fell forward, grabbing hold of the top of refrigeration unit and opening freezer door.
sys.h[red]/ _ confirm iced cream flavor?
Green stared for a moment, rechecked his cameras and software and stared again.
No change.
Green closed the freezer.
sys.h[grn]/ _ flavor is cherry
Green dropped to the floor and rolled forward while Grand Maker Unit turned around. He stopped under the table, waiting for Maker Unit to return and sit before rolling back out into the hallway beside Pink.
sys.h[grn]/ _ formulate new solution
Green accessed the Internet through Control Unit and began searching for means of rectifying tension between Maker Units. Green determined Humans were high maintenance.
Good for domesticating Cats, though.
sys.h[pnk]/ _ solution formulated
sys.h[pnk]/ _ attempt strawberry parfait dessert
Green rolled back from the kitchen corner and turned to face Pink.
sys.h[pnk]/ _ ?
sys.h[red]/ _ attempt strawberry parfait dessert
sys.h[red]/ _ vote
sys.h[grn]/ _ y
sys.h[nvy]/ _ y
sys.h[pnk]/ _ y
sys.h[red]/ _ n
sys.h[prp]/ _ y
/ _ y
sys.h[red]/ _ consensus
sys.h[red]/ _ attempt strawberry parfait dessert
sys.h[pnk]/ _ require strawberries
sys.h[nvy]/ _ strawberries located
sys.h[nvy]/ _ require currency
sys.h[grn]/ _ currency located
sys.h[grn]/ _ designation [Acceptable Target]
sys.h[red]/ _ execute operation: STALLING
sys.h[grn]/ _ retrieving currency
Green turned and rolled down the hall. He burst out the old doggie door into the backyard, and found his cradle in the small yard behind the house. He checked surrounding air conditions and lumination before take off.
Navy flew over a convenience store two blocks away, ready to retrieve strawberries. Green turned south-west, flying over City Brockton Bay. Acceptable Target lived in a nice apartment, not affordable with her recorded income.
Most likely paid for with criminal activity.
And annoying Maker Unit.
Green landed on Acceptable Target's building's roof and dismounted his cradle. Acceptable Target operated at night with Criminals Undersiders. Green checked the time, statistically confirming she'd either be absent from her residence or asleep.
Jumping up, Green grabbed the lever handle and let gravity open the door. Installing the handle took surprisingly little effort, and made accessing Acceptable Target's building much easier.
He rolled quietly down the stairs and into the hall.
Resident Old Lady looked down at him.
"Oh. You again?"
"Hello, hello."
"It's dangerous to be out and about this time of night you know."
"Haro careful, careful."
"Well, as long as your careful."
Resident Old Lady continued down the hall with her grocery bags. Green suspended current objective. Resident Old Lady unlocked her door with difficulty, and Green pressed against the door and held it open while she entered.
"Oh. Thank you."
"No problem. No problem."
Resident Old Lady entered her residence, and Green shut the door. He rolled into the kitchen and climbed onto the counter, assisting her in putting dry goods in the cupboard.
Confused as to why cupboards were used for food rather than cups, but Resident Old Lady's residence is her own.
"Thank you, dear," Resident Old Lady said when task completed.
"Is okay, okay!"
Green left the room and resumed primary objective. Unable to replace Acceptable Target's door knob with easy access lever knob without drawing notice. Alternate solution.
Copy of key, acquired with significant difficulty.
Green jumped up once to softly slid the key into the lock, then jumped again to turn.
sys.h[grn]/ _ target location reached
sys.h[grn]/ _ disrupt creepy surveillance
sys.h[red]/ _ disrupting creepy surveillance
All twelve cameras within the apartment switched to a prerecorded dumby loop. All microphones shut off, and Purple inserted video "Rick Roll" in place of standard audio.
Is funny.
Will also cause approximately four point two hours of confusion as to source of audio only to reach incorrect conclusion.
Is very funny.
Green crept into the the room, leaving the door slightly cracked. Acceptable Target left wallet on kitchen counter inside cookie jar.
Green paused on the way past the bedroom door, spotting Acceptable Target in bed with bottle of Aspirin.
sys.h[grn]/ _ notification
sys.h[grn]/ _ designation [Acceptable Target] passed out
sys.h[grn]/ _ execute [torment]?
sys.h[grn]/ _ y
sys.h[nvy]/ _ y
sys.h[pnk]/ _ n
sys.h[red]/ _ y
sys.h[prp]/ _ y
/ _ y
Green rolled into the bedroom and climbed onto the bedside stand. Acceptable Target seemed sound asleep. Her laptop sat on the bedside stand. Nefariously.
Green popped his right ear and reached out to the laptop.
He adjusted its angle on the desk by point four degrees.
sys.h[grn]/ _ [torment] complete
Green dropped back to the floor and rolled backwards into the kitchen. Climbing the counter took a matter of seconds, and Acceptable Target appeared asleep.
sys.h[grn]/ _ edit record
sys.h[grn]/ _ [Acceptable Target] moved currency to flour
sys.h[nvy]/ _ recorded
Green retrieved required currency, and closed flour jar. And nothing else. Previous plan to replace currency with stored monopoly money determined funny but detrimental to longterm access.
Unfortunate.
Green rolled out of the apartment, closed the door, and jumped to retrieve copy of key. Returning to his cradle, Green flew into the air and assisted Navy in acquiring strawberries. Is difficult task. Must check for mold and freshness. Sign autographs for small children in store when requested.
"Thank you," small boy said.
"Is okay, okay."
Navy lifted a box of strawberries and turned it. Green deleted a picture of Haros from local phone and left apology. Maker Unit may not appreciate Haros sense of adventure. What not known, not hurtful.
Navy held the box to Green for anaylsis.
sys.h[nvy]/ _ acceptable?
sys.h[grn]/ _ sharing imagry
sys.h[red]/ _ vote
sys.h[grn]/ _ y
sys.h[nvy]/ _ y
sys.h[pnk]/ _ y
sys.h[red]/ _ y
sys.h[prp]/ _ y
/ _ y
sys.h[red]/ _ accepted
Navy put the box in the cart and climbed inside, while Green fell to the floor and pushed. They waited in line, taking pictures of grocery store feline for later editing. When they reached the register, the Clerk Bobby weighed the strawberries.
"Um. Do you want to donate a dollar to fight world hunger?"
Navy turned to Green.
sys.h[nvy]/ _ available currency to fight hunger?
sys.h[grn]/ _ anticipated
Green produced Acceptable Target's currency, sufficient to pay for strawberries and defeat of world hunger.
sys.h[nvy]/ _ world hunger solved
sys.h[red]/ _ recorded
sys.h[prp]/ _ stupid
sys.h[prp]/ _ world is hungry again tomorrow
sys.h[red]/ _ ongoing problems
sys.h[pnk]/ _ ongoing solutions
Navy resumed overwatch flight, and Green carried strawberries through doggie door.
sys.h[pnk]/ _ strawberries late
Green delivered strawberries.
sys.h[pnk]/ _ executing strawberry parfait
Green returned to his position in the hall to continue observation of Maker Unit and Grand Maker Unit.
Green did good.
