Side-Step HARO.2
Orange
Afternoon patrols were uneventful. Haros monitored known criminal elements. Ally Unit Aisha continued covert operations under careful supervision. Ally Units Lafter and Dinah returned. All was good. Mostly.
Maker Unit remained—
The sound of the rod being shoved into place drew Orange's attention.
Orange decided the appropriate word was 'serious'.
Maker Unit remained serious.
Orange assisted in final checks of Sword-7, and longest of the set Maker Unit intended for new General Utility Nonlinear Dynamic Assistance Module 04 Exia. Maker Unit checked the rings before closing the launcher, letting Sword-7 assume innocuous shape of harmless GN blade.
"Thanks Orange," she said.
"Welcome, welcome!"
He accessed the auto-arms and let them lift the weapon onto a rack with the other six. Orange considered that Maker Unit may have an obsession.
Intervention could be required.
The hour turned, and Orange checked to be sure Maker Unit was situated and observed by Pink and Green before leaving. Trading off duties watching Maker Unit was normal, but appeared more urgent over course of previous week.
Control Unit appeared calmer than in previous instances of Maker Unit's moods. Probably fine.
Orange used small access flap built into workshop door to exit. He passed the security perimeter, greeted reformed criminal allies as he passed, and made his way south toward market area near factory.
Red and Navy waited at corner store. Was important day. Careful analysis confirmed that in previous four years of operation, store served 999,945 customers. Today would be millionth customer, rewarded with $100 gift certificate and photograph over front doors!
/ _ count?
sys.h[red]/ _ 999,991
sys.h[nvy]/ _ optimal route calculated
Orange rolled down the candy isle, turned right, and retrieved case of Hugs diaper brand from sales stand. Convenient to acquire supply for later after being millionth customer.
The three Haros gathered and waited, allowing older man with fruit to enter line first. They then took a place behind him and waited for Clerk Jeanie to keep record bagging time.
sys.h[red]/ _ hugs?
/ _ Ally Unit Lafter requested hugs
Orange held the pack up.
/ _ hugs acquired
Red and Navy stared
sys.h[nvy]/ _ forward thinking
Sys.h[red]/ _ store for later
"Excuse me."
Orange, Red, and Navy turned, looking at small child in wheel chair.
"Are you Haros?" Boy asked.
"Yes, yes," they repeated.
Boy smiled. "Cool."
"Tommy!" A large woman came running, grabbing the handles of the chair as she panted. "Tommy I told you not to go rolling off like that! I've been looking for you—"
"Look mom." The boy pointed. "Haros."
The woman looked down at the robots, and then at the Hugs Orange carried.
"Hugs for Lafter," he said. "Hugs for Lafter."
"Th—That's nice sweetie. But please don't do that again. I worry."
Boy frowned, face turning red with shame.
"Sorry mom. I just heard they were here so I—"
sys.h[red]/ _ has medical bracelet
Orange adjusted his eyes.
sys.h[red]/ _ diabetic
The woman pinched a sugary beverage between two fingers. Orange looked up potential complications of low blood sugar.
Orange and Navy turned to one another, to the line ahead, and then to boy in chair. Clerk Jeanie kept good time. Calculations were flawless.
sys.h[red]/ _ surrender place in line
sys.h[red]/ _ vote
sys.h[grn]/ _ y
sys.h[nvy]/ _ y
sys.h[pnk]/ _ y
sys.h[red]/ _ y
sys.h[prp]/ _ y
/ _ y
sys.h[yel]/ _ y
sys.h[wht]/ _ y
sys.h[blk]/ _ y
sys.h[red]/ _ consensus
sys.h[red]/ _ surrender place in line
Orange, Navy, and Red, rolled back.
"Go ahead," Red urged. "Go ahead."
The woman looked at them for a moment. "Oh. Um. No, you don't—"
"Hurry, hurry," Orange insisted.
The woman frowned but pushed boy in chair ahead.
Orange dropped Hugs and sat, watching as Clerk Jeanie swiped sugary beverage. Alarms sounded, voice declaring over PA the millionth customer and awarding of $100 gift certificate.
Orange tilted as object collided with manly shell. He turned, finding paper plane on floor with word written across wings.
/ _ never
Pink
Pink waited for food delivery driver on back of Hebert home couch. Awaited special ingredients for truffle roast with rosemary and green tea leaves.
Grand Maker Unit worked in kitchen, looking over contracts and talking to Bigoted Jerk on phone.
"No. I don't think she wants to plaster her face all over the news," he growled. "Because she was shoved into her locker and no one cared. Who wants to announce that to the entire world? It's bad enough as it is Mr. Campbell."
Pink spotted truck turning street corner and jumped down. She jumped off the back of the couch and climbed onto kitchen counter.
The doorbell rang, and Grand Maker Unit turned his head.
"One second, sir." He set the phone on the table and rose.
Pink activated food heating construct, and began organizing pans for truffle roast with rosemary and green tea leaves. Pink compared the cuts of pork to the cuts of beef within the refrigeration unit before picking pork.
Grand Maker Unit returned to kitchen and muted the phone.
"Um, Pink. I think there was a mistake."
She turned. Grand Maker Unit provided note from food delivery driver but no food. Pink tilted to the left and then to the right.
No bags of food were present.
Grand Maker Unit read, holding page in both hands.
"It says dear customer. We thank you for your generous decision to donate this purchase to the homeless of Brockton Bay, Soup Kitchen Twelve. Huh. That's nice of you."
Pink dropped her pan.
No rosemary? No green tea leaves? No Kobe beef? No Sicilian Cod?
Grand Maker Unit turned the page over, looking at the invoice of items.
She noticed handwritten word in corner of page.
sys.h[pnk]/ _ give
Grand Maker Unit blinked.
"Pink. Where did you get $500 to import rosemary from Albania?"
Purple
Purple rolled back, checking to be certain that coast was clear.
Certain, Purple turned to the brown bag and pulled the box out. She examined the limited edition Twilight Sparkle figurine with twenty-four karat gold tiara. Mint in box. Very collectible.
Briefly, she rolled back again, just to be absolutely certain no one was walking down the street.
Absolutely certain, Purple returned the figurine, mint in box, to the bag and lifted it over her head. She walked the precious cargo to her cradle and attached it to the hook at the end of the string.
She took off carefully, flying across the city back to secret sanctum. Low wind speeds made travel relatively smooth. Easy to transport cargo. She set down atop the Maker Unit's apartment complex. Roof access was damaged, ensuring security of secret sanctum even in presence of Reformed Criminal family units.
Purple set down and approached old utility shed in top right corner.
"See!"
Purple stopped.
"I told you! It's exactly where she said it would be!"
The exterior door hung open, and the false wall hiding the back four feet of the interior was pushed aside. Three girls aged eight to twelve sat inside, surrounded by empty packaging.
Purple prepared to activate emergency measu—
"Best apartments ever!"
One of the girls cheered. She held a Special Edition Applejack speaking to it as though the inanimate equine were a friend.
"Why yes I would like to have tea."
She turned the prized collectible to another girl, holding only ten in the world Fluttershy with misprinted pattern.
"Yes. I'll come too!"
The third girl said, "I want to come!"
"We can all go!"
"Hey, is that a Twilight?"
"Where'd that come from?"
"I don't know."
Purple rolled away, ignoring the sound of tearing packaging.
Is a stupid hobby.
She stopped on the way back to her cradle, turning to the rooftop door. Purple noted familiar lever handle. Door appeared old, but sturdy. Paint peeled, save for freshly painted 'u'.
Green
"I'm not one to question," J Doctor said through monitor. "We're certainly happy to help as we have been, but I hope you can see this is unusual. Even for you."
"I know," Maker Unit replied.
"I'm afraid I have to ask," he admitted.
Green slowly opened the door to the server room, checking to be sure Backup Maker Trevor wasn't present to overhear sensitive negotiations.
"Why do you want so many GN drives?"
"It's not that many," Maker unit replied. "In the grand scheme."
"I think if you have to qualify it like that," S Doctor grumbled, "it is that many."
Green rolled to his cradle and checked cargo before takeoff. He flew through the small chute installed in the workshop that allowed Haros to come and go. It exited through the factory's old chimney and made decent launch ramp.
"Whoosh whoosh!"
Low winds made for pleasant flying across city.
Green set down at destination and retrieved fresh tuna from handy carry pouch. He considered asking Maker Unit to provide more reliable storage compartments to cradles, but feared Maker Unit may ask why.
Creative solutions worked just as well.
Green removed meow mix from compartment.
"Here kitty," Green called. "Here kitty."
"Who's a good kitty?"
Green stopped.
"You are, yes you are!"
Acceptable Target scratched Spot the Cat's head, crouching over bowl of tuna. Kittens crowded around her, pawing at her jeans. Acceptable Target tightened bandage around Spot the Cat's leg.
"Is that too tight?" she asked. "No? Good."
Green dropped tuna.
"Yes, you're all so cute," Acceptable Target said.
She turned her head to Green and smiled.
"So cute."
Acceptable Target held Rex the Kitten, rubbing jelly belly with index finger. Rex the Kitten clung to the appendage. "Aw, are you happy?"
Green stared. Kitties fed. Cuddles stolen.
Acceptable Target pointed one finger to the sky.
Green looked up. Sky appeared clear. Why point up at—Up.
Acceptable Target set Rex the Kitten down and rose. She walked down the alley, leaving Spot the Cat and kittens fully fed, properly bandaged, and cuddled.
Green looked at tuna. Then at kitties. Then at Acceptable Target.
"Not funny, not funny!"
"Neither is moving my furniture half a degree clockwise every night," she said.
Lisa
Lisa walked into her building with a smile.
It was an oddly productive day.
Rewarded a diabetic kid with a good time and a gift card. Provided some little girls having a rough time with some toys. Gave food to charity. Gave some stray kitties some tuna.
Regular hero stuff.
Honestly, the hardest part was doing all the leg work and feeling like kind of a bitch afterward. The scheme lacked a lot of the poetic justice she hoped for when she thought Newtype was behind everything. In retrospect, she wasn't even all that angry.
Newtype wasn't lying. The little robots could do a lot, but they weren't that smart. It was one thing to plot revenge when she thought the big hero was being a bit of a drama queen. Now it felt like picking on kids and stealing their lunch money.
Except they stole their lunch money from her in the first place.
She thought about that for a moment and shrugged.
It would be a good life lesson for them. Don't start what you can't finish!
She picked up her mail at the doorman's desk and checked over the box. She wouldn't put it past the little monsters to have done something to mess with her mail. They'd managed to mess with so much else. Somehow. She should probably just move. Her landlord sucked if he didn't notice a bunch of robots coming and going two to three times a week.
Box is untampered with.
Excellent. She needed a new lap top. Someone—someones—covered the last one with fucking glitter. From fifteen different countries!
She went up the stairs and set the box on her kitchen counter. Her eyes scanned the room, searching for any signs of a counterattack. They'd gotten into the habit of repositioning her furniture at slight angles just to send her power tripping.
That could be considered assault and battery in some jurisdictions.
Her phone rang, and she groaned.
"Why?" She said aloud as she pulled it from her pocket and answered. "What, Brian?"
"I just need to know if you've seen—"
"I haven't seen her."
Of course she hadn't. Being unseen was what Aisha's power did. Pretty damn good power, really. Shame she'd blown off the idea of joining the Undersiders by walking out right after her rescue.
She didn't need her power to tell her where the girl went.
"She's a teenager, Brian. She runs off and doesn't say anything. That's what they do."
She said, ignoring her own itch.
Aisha knew something. Her, Labyrinth, and Newtype. Lisa wanted to sit the damned girl down and make her talk. She didn't like secrets. Her power basically demanded she seek them out. What's the point of being Sherlock Holmes if you're not going to pursue the mystery?
Lisa's brow furrowed.
Terrified.
Newtype might be a stuck up bitch a little too high on her own Kool-Aid, but she wasn't a pushover. Not anymore. Anything big enough to terrify her went to Slaughterhouse Nine territory. Or worse.
Her backup plans didn't cover psychos and PRT conspiracies. She'd already put together more than she wanted without trying. As much as she wanted—needed—to know the truth, some things were best left buried.
Maybe this was one she should just let go.
"Lisa—"
"Brian," she interjected. "I am the last person on Earth who can give you advice on managing your sibling." She flunked out of that class a long time ago. "I suggest adapting to her instead of expecting her to do everything you say just because you say it. Especially now that she's literally the disappearing girl!"
She hung up and sighed.
She finished her sweep of the apartment and felt confident there weren't any surprises.
Getting all the locks changed wasn't too hard. Mrs. Liberman would probably miss the green one helping her with her groceries, but she couldn't have the robots breaking into the place regularly. Certainly not when they kept disrupting Coil's insurance policy against evil plotting. Namely, evil plotting against assholes who had it coming.
She stuffed some counterfeit bills into the flour jar in case they came back. Bad counterfeits. Might be funny seeing a news report about the robots getting arrested for passing off bum bills.
Lisa collected her package.
Time to break in the new laptop. Someone blew the whistle on Medhall big time, and she had a feeling she knew exactly which 'follow the unwritten rules or else' Tinker was behind it. But why would Newtype do such a—
Her phone began ringing and she groaned.
"Damnit, Brian I am not your family thera—"
She stopped, staring at the number.
She scowled, pressing the tip of the kitchen knife against her package. Fucking Coil. Her thumb moved to answer.
The tape exploded.
Powder and glitter blasted into her face, covering her hair, and splattering the ceiling with an all-out assault on the color palette.
Lisa gagged, falling over the couch and hitting the floor with her back. She wiped her hand across her face and coughed, scrambling onto her feet.
"How the fuck?!"
She wiped the lingering glitter field away and grabbed the box.
She noticed every line on it. The individual grains, the exact typing on the address labels. Her power noticed everything, even the stuff the best detectives would overlook.
Different box.
She noted the distinct pattern in the grains where the package had been held.
Swapped by hand.
"But—"
Those little robots didn't have 'hands'. Not human sized ones with five fingers. How? How did someone slip inside and replace the—
She noted a small foot print on the floor. Her eyes followed it to another. And another. A trail of them going right to her door. Impossible. She'd have noticed someone—
Suspect cannot be seen.
Her phone continued to ring.
Aisha
Lisa screamed and Aisha couldn't stop laughing.
She brushed some glitter off her shoulder, but maybe hanging around to see the deed done wasn't her best idea. She'd need a shower now. Still, way too much fun. If she knew there was a prank war going on, she'd have done something sooner!
She dumped Lisa's box into the laundry chute. She'd find it on her own with whatever bullshit her power did.
Black popped one ear and raised his hand. Aisha reached across her shoulder and gave him a high five.
"Don't mess with best!" Black chirped.
She carried the hood of her jacket on her back. They were still testing her power but anything she directly touched seemed to vanish with her, including any Haro she happened to be carrying around with her.
"You blocked out the cameras, right?" she asked.
Taylor would have a conniption if she got caught on one.
"Uploaded video," Black said. "Double rainbow!"
"Oh 'cause it's a glitter bomb."
"Ninety-nine percent funny!"
Aisha grinned.
"I can totally do this hero thing!"
