Disclaimer:
Superlong(ish) chapter below. Thought about breaking it up into two chapters - but don't wanna drag the "traveling" part for too long.
Feel free to slowly read over a period of time/hours/days/etc. XD. Or just blaze through it...
~TW
"Journey to Gongmen City (II)"
Po had never seen snow.
Well, he had occasionally seen snow drop by the Valley - usually during a Winter Festival or when the weather got quite cold. The snow around him right now however, was different: crystalline white, solidly placed, thick and heavy, and shrouding his entire vision like an immense white blanket. They were close to the halfway point already (based on the map, which Tigress didn't allow anyone else to keep) - so it was mainly just traversing these snowy mountains, then going through a long stretch of sea until Gongmen City.
Alf fared worse than the others, lacking fur. Through the journey, he had managed to piece together woolly mats - collected from jungle areas and lace them around wood - to manufacture an extra layer of garment around his thin vest. The cold was still formidable however, so the Five, Yu and Po had taken to wearing an extra pair of thick garments around their bodies. To an outsider, it might have seemed awkward - in the misty cold night, with heavy snowfall - eight robed figures made their way up a steep, sloping mountainside.
"Uh - guys - Alf's sort of shaking!" Yu called out, heavy scarf and dark robe nearly swallowing her voice. She was at the end of the line, clasping onto the Seeker with fear.
Alf didn't say anything. The rest of the Five stopped, Mantis in particular flashing a tight glance behind him. "How's he doing, Yu?"
The fox shivered, wrapping her scarf more tightly around herself. "Alf - Alf - you okay?"
"Argh - " Alf moaned, shaking uncontrollably. " - I'm fine. I'm fine…"
Yet he made no movement forward. Tigress snarled, stomping through thick snow until she made her way to the Seeker.
"Hands," Tigress demanded, voice unusually urgent.
Alf merely grunted underneath the heavy layers. Annoyed, Tigress forced his right hand forward, grasping and removing the makeshift glove.
Viper and Monkey gathered around, their personal robes flapping in the dense wind. Po moved closer, crowding around. Mantis and Crane made an air-drafting joke as the panda blocked the chilled breeze, but it was shut down immediately once they saw Alf's exposed hand.
It was shaking. Moving erratically.
The fingers were deep blue.
"Shit," Po uttered softly, watching Alf sag against Yu's grip. "Um - that's not normal, right? For Seekers?"
"I dunno," Mantis broke in, hopping atop Po's shoulder. "Maybe it's just the way they adapt to the cold."
Tigress narrowed her eyes, moving both paws to Alf's scarf. Again he tried fussing for a bit, but was quickly suppressed as she effortlessly opened the knot.
Po gasped.
Alf's face was blue as well. Veins were visible and running across his face. His eyes were closed, but he was still breathing.
"I'm fine…" Alf kept repeating, completely unaware. "I'm fine… I'm fine…"
"You didn't think to pack some extra clothing?" Viper hissed, slapping Po's leg with her tail. "Yanno - before you kidnapped him?"
"I admit that sorta slipped my mind," Po mentioned in shame. "But he's fine! Right buddy?"
Alf flashed a stupid smile, body still shaking. Tigress sighed, beginning to remove her exterior brown coat.
"Augh - you don't need to do - UUF! " Alf began, shutting up as Tigress wrapped the oversized brown coat on his smaller frame, taking a sleeve to twist around his mouth and head.
"Try not to pass out on us, hmm?" Tigress asked sarcastically.
Alf - mouth obstructed by the dense sleeve - mumbled something before nodding.
"Good girl," Tigress finished. "Everyone else - let's keep moving."
And just like that, she was back to the front of the group - lack of coat not even remotely slowing her down.
Crane watched from a distance with Po, shaking his head. "Doesn't she get cold?"
Monkey shrugged his shoulders, throwing some snow into the air in boredom. "Have you ever seen Tigress uncomfortable?"
Crane chuckled, following the rest of the group up the rest of the mountain. "I wonder if she even realizes we're in snow right now…"
Another major problem had been the lack of food - the jungles had been an excellent source of leaves, roots, and bunches of fruit - nothing Po enjoyed, but it was enough to get them surviving for the next few steps. But here, in the cold wilderness of mountain ranges - there wasn't too much food sources to pry from. Water could always be boiled from snow, but solid food was difficult to come by. The Five, Yu and Alf seemed to tolerate this - Po found this near torture.
"Anyone got any extra bean buns?!" Po called out, mimicking heavy breaths. "I'm starving."
"Po," Mantis urged, still on Po's shoulder. "Literally no one would say that after seeing you."
"I would…"
Po continued the march forward.
. . .
The leader of Shen's wolf army had a name.
Not that it mattered. In practical matters - such as sieging a province, or killing its residents - very few people cared about what the name of their killer was, and fewer still wanted to know the identity of what many perceived to be a "grunt" in the vast battalion of wolves that Shen had managed to recruit over to his "cause".
Zhongcheng stood at the outskirts of Gongmen City, thick armor putting off the brunt of the cold breeze as he stared off at the moon.
Gongmen City's docks were always peaceful at this time, despite the foreign occupation. The area itself was huge - with sprawling, open wood planks jutting out into sea while gentle projections made their way into the water. Only a few boats were being housed right now - Shen had ordered the remainder of them to be sent off to neighboring areas, pillaging metal and destroying villagers' lives.
Zhongcheng - or Zhong, colloquially - moved to the edge of one dock, admiring the contrast between the giant metropolis that was Gongmen City, compared to the infinite expanse of cold, dark water that caught all the moonlight that was beaming down.
The wolf smiled. Despite how controlling Shen was, the numerous guard patrols he had thrown into the city, and the general disarray of its citizens - Gongmen still very much looked like China's Eden, a gigantic city with skyrise towers and overpacked buildings rather than the simple clay huts that Zhong was accustomed to pillaging.
"Hey Zhong!" came a rough voice. "Meditating again?"
The Wolf Boss turned back, seeing a younger wolf approach him with eagerness - amateur armor just barely covering his entire chest.
"No Li," Zhong answered, continuing his stare at the large sea. "Was just walking around - needed to clear my head."
"Of course you did," Li answered, walking over to the taller wolf with an annoyed expression. "I heard about the whole Shen thing. Is it true? Did he tell you where the cannon plans are?"
The Boss wolf sighed. "No - no not really."
"Not really?"
"I ain't allowed to talk about it, alright?" Zhong forced, trying to restructure the conversation. "Leave it alone."
Li respected this, leaning against a wooden pillar nearby. "You've known him for a while, huh? He trusts you with a lotta shit man…"
Despite his best intentions, Zhong smiled. "Since I was just a cub. He used to share food with me - when no one else would."
Li blinked, confused.
"You're probably too young to know," Zhong emphasized. "But there used to be a time when wolves weren't thought of as - the most respectable citizens around."
"Like the Seekers?" Li countered with interest.
Zhong scowled. "Hell no. Not that bad but - we were second-class, for sure. And unlike those damn fleshlings - no one had any good reason to hate us."
"Just untrustworthy huh?"
"Yeah…" Zhong rattled off. "I remember Shen sneaking me a little soy sauce one night, back when his mom and dad were still ruling Gongmen - heh. Bastards almost threw me into the jail for that…"
Zhong trailed off, lost in his own private memories. Invariably, that same smile came back to him - confused yet appreciative, mulling in deep thought over impressions and feelings long-since buried.
"Is it true what they say?" Li interrupted with enthusiasm. "About the pandas? Were you there?"
Zhong sighed. "I was there. I dunno how the hell it came to him but - there was some old goat lady that gave his parents and him this prophecy sorta…"
Zhong paused, trying to recollect. "... it said something about some fighter - or warrior - who was black and white. Who'd take Shen down."
Li scoffed, clutching at his chest in laughter. "So our boy decides to nix every panda he could find? Hah!"
Zhong's face grew weary and discontent, as if he was having trouble recalling the memories - or more accurately, hesitant to recall them.
"I was young, maybe eighteen at the time," the Boss Wolf recognized, just glancing for a moment at the red tattoo on his arm. "We organized some young cubs - same age as me, probably younger - and went to this remote village in the mountains somewhere."
Li kept an attentive gaze on Zhong, who paused yet again and looked downward.
"It was the only place everyone knew pandas lived," the Boss Wolf noted. "Only place we knew they'd be completely taken by surprise."
"And?" Li pressed.
Zhong swallowed, shuddering for a bit. "Kids. Little pandas. Babies. Shen - Shen didn't really give a shit who they were, or how old, sick, or young they were…"
"Good," Li forced, scowling. "If some damn panda is supposed to stop me from doing what I want, I'd be happy to make coats out of their damn fur…"
Zhong hissed, more annoyed than ever. "None of them saw it coming. We'd come at them with spears and swords, blades and hammers… these guys were farmers and peasants, not fighters…"
Zhong moved away, covering his face. "... they didn't put up much of a fight. It was over pretty quickly."
"And you got everyone, right?" Li questioned.
"Yes yes yes!" Zhong spat, shaking a bit. "Listen, don't you gotta do patrol rounds or something?"
"Finished early," Li promptly answered. "So how'd ya kill 'em? Was it slow? Did any cry?"
"Take over Chang's patrol - heard he's sick."
"Ming already did. You see anyone fight back? Did those fat losers actually run away?"
"Li - why don't you go in and check on our food stocks?"
"We're full. Did any of those pandas survive or - "
"LI! CHECK AGAIN!"
The younger wolf looked highly offended. Zhong merely glanced away, breath coming out violently as his chest heaved.
"As you say, Commander…" Li bit, walking away in confused frustration. Zhong watched the younger wolf walk away, passing through a grand archway leading out of the docks and back into Gongmen City.
He turned back to the vast sea in front of him. Zhong narrowed his eyes and frowned, wondering if that single act of mercy - the act that he wouldn't dare bring up in front of Li, the wolves, or even Shen - would come back to bite him later.
That particular panda had been too innocent. Its small green eyes and chubby cheeks made it too pure to kill.
Zhong knew back then he wouldn't be able to do what Shen had asked him - while still staring at that one baby panda - the only panda in that village that had made him hesitate. He doubted he would be able to do it even today.
He hoped and prayed that the panda was dead. That something else had gotten to it.
Maybe hunger.
Maybe another creature.
Maybe the cold.
Maybe the world.
Anything.
And just then, Zhong realized that after so many years standing by Shen's side, following him unflinchingly, carrying out his orders with little reluctance or questioning - he realized that the peacock he knew long ago had been lost through the ravages of time, revenge, hatred, and egotism.
And Zhong wondered, perhaps motivated by seeing his disturbed expression displayed in the reflective water surface: whether some key part of him, some integral component to his soul - had been lost all those years ago, just like his old friend.
. . .
...
The sky was darkened. Blood fell from the clouds, drenching the Earth in moist hatred. There was a large sense of dark foreboding, the sense of inevitability.
He knew what that was.
He struggled to get back to his feet. He blinked the dust out of his eyes, seeing the same figure approaching.
But he knew now.
He knew how to beat him.
The cloaked figure approached.
He flipped to his right.
CRACK.
"AUGH!"
The figure had him in his hands. It stuck a hand straight through his chest, tenderly gripping the beating heart.
"I told you," the figure breathed heavily. "It was inevitable. Colonization. Evolution."
...
"AH!"
"Alf!"
The Seeker shot up, familiar cold sweat perched on his forehead. He tried to reassess his surroundings.
The boat was still quiet - everyone except for Yu was still sleeping.
Alf breathed in relief, watching the fox smile beside him while lying down. It had been bad enough that he had slowed down the group a bit in the snowy mountains, and it had been worse that he had contracted a harsh cold that remained with him - even now, traveling in a stolen boat (Po had emphasized that he had "borrowed" it), gently gliding through the sea leading straight to Gongmen City. The cold had stripped Alf of all critical thinking skills, had made the Five bundle him up like an infant and shove him to the farthest side of the boat (perhaps fearing an infection), and leave him out of the "planning steps" of how to take Gongmen City back.
And now, he had almost woken up everyone.
Alf watched the Five and Po sleep soundly with thick blankets, in the small confines of the wooden boat - entire area gently rocking as planks collided with the sea breeze and cold water. There hadn't been much supplies in the single-masted boat - just a few bags of remaining food, the map, and a few shelves that the boat had come with.
"Nightmare?" Yu gently questioned. "Again?"
Alf scrubbed at his head, watching Yu sit up as her brown blanket fell to reveal a black nightgown. "Yeah…"
Yu grasped his hands, squeezing tightly. "Alf, you wanna see someone?"
The Seeker coughed and laughed, clutching his chest. "Like - who - ahem…"
Yu ran a paw through her cheek fur. "I don't know - maybe a healer? Someone who can - make these nightmares go away."
Alf shook his head. "It's not that serious."
"It sounds serious," Yu retorted, slightly upset. "Alf - you've been getting the same thing for months now. Don't ya think it's time to get it looked at?"
The Seeker smiled, adjusting his collar to a more comfortable position. "Who'd treat someone like me? And what would they say? Sleep on your right side? Eat more vegetables?"
"Healers are trained in body and mind," Yu emphasized. "I know! I come from a family of - "
The fox stopped, voice suddenly petrified and still.
Alf's eyes grew wide. "Yu - that's like the first time you almost said something about your past!"
The fox shrugged it off - trying to refocus the dialogue. "Forget what I was talking about - let's just talk about this damn riddle okay?"
Alf smiled, knowing that just getting her to slip up for a second was enough progress for today. "Why - in the hell - would I wanna discuss - that damn riddle?"
The fox winked, punching Alf lightly as he sneezed. "Obviously you're gonna be awake for the next few hours - and I am - and it's the middle of the night!"
Alf sighed. "Screw it, might as well…"
Yu watched the Seeker push aside his pillow and wait for the fox to get into a seated, legs crossed position. Alf gently placed his head onto her lap, attentiveness fading as she ran her paws through his thick hair.
Alf's cold meant that he needed an elevated, soft surface to rest his head down on - and considering that his pillow was utterly trash, Yu had sometimes had the privilege of having him rest his head on her lap.
Which thrilled the fox. It would have been an ideal scenario to re-setup the kiss (Yu still wanted a perfect moment) - but the romantic capabilities were severely limited by the Five's presence, Po's presence, and the panda's obnoxiously loud snoring. That, combined with the thoroughly musty, dark, and confined area of being inside a rocking boat - killed any moods that Yu could have hinted to Alf.
"Mmm…" Alf uttered, eyes closing as Yu ran her paws through his hair. "... you could be a great masseuse, yanno?"
The fox smiled gently, trying to steer the conversation back to the riddle. "Let's just focus on this damn message…"
She had time.
She had all the time in the world.
She would find the perfect moment.
Besides, kissing a sick Alf was probably unhygienic.
"Read it," Alf whispered, eyes still closed. "Not really in the mood for - ahhh - focusing right now…"
Yu grinned, scratching at the back of Alf's neck - one of the parts that his collar made difficult to get to. She pulled out the scroll, unfurling it quietly.
By China's end,
And by China's beginning.
By your start,
And your finish.
Six is there,
But five should be beware.
If it's answers to your past that you seek,
Then seek - Seeker - or be weak.
"Lost it?" Alf queried.
Yu chuckled. "No no - just reading over it again… whaddya think be weak means?"
Alf attempted to recall the line from memory, grunting. "Probably means I'm a weakling."
"I'm serious Alf…"
"I must be seriously weak…"
Yu scoffed, whispering it back to herself. "By China's end, and China's beginning, by start and finish…"
"It's classic opposition," Alf noted. "Opposition scheme. Poets use that to compare and contrast extremes… doesn't tell us shit, except that our anonymous friend sucks at poetry."
"Six is there, but five should be beware… is he talking about the Five?"
Alf sighed. "Thought about that - but who'd be the sixth? Me? Po? You? No pun intended."
Yu narrowed her eyes, twisting Alf's right ear affectionately. "Yeah - too many unknowns. I don't think he meant the Five..."
"How'd ya know it's a he?" Alf emphasized. "Maybe it's a she."
"Psssh, in your dreams, Alf," Yu rejected. "Like there's some girl out there actually that interested in you…"
Yu grinned in irony, knowing he couldn't see her face.
"You think that sorta thing could happen?" Alf suddenly questioned, opening his eyes to stare up at Yu. "To someone like me?"
The fox shrugged her shoulders, trying to make herself look less suspicious. "I dunno. They say there's someone for everyone…"
Alf scowled, turning his head back down. "Yeah - yeah that's a bunch of bullshit…"
Yu felt annoyed. "You don't believe in it?"
"Most people can," Alf corrected, wheezing a bit as the cold resurfaced. "There's exceptions though."
"Like what?" Yu pressed, kneading his head a bit harder in frustration.
"Duh, Seekers," Alf immediately fired back. "Maybe if you don't have any arms or legs, that'd probably be a romantic deal breaker too…"
"Both types of people have plenty of chances," Yu hissed under her breath. "Even if some of them are too stupid to see it…"
"You're saying you would date a dude with no arms or legs?" Alf questioned in surprise, looking up at the fox again. "Yu - be real."
"I would!" the fox defied. "It's not about how you look, Alf - it's about what's inside!"
"Haha," Alf mocked. "Good one. Also while we're in Fantasyland, can we take a trip to the Mountain of Lies and Myths?"
Yu snarled. She wasn't exactly sure why this was upsetting her - Alf's mindset made perfect sense, from a pragmatic standpoint. Considering his life experiences, encounters with all the bigoted citizens of the Valley, and overall relationship with everyone around him - cynicism was probably his defense mechanism. Yet there was something underneath it - a sense of hopelessness that she didn't understand, almost as if he had stopped bothering to believe in a lot of the stuff that would have kept any other person going.
"Wait a second- mountains," Alf interrupted. "Mountains, mountains… Mountains!"
"I think that cold gave you a stuttering problem," Yu spat.
Alf sat up rapidly, snatching the scroll out of Yu's paws. "By China's beginning… end… start… finish… yeah, yeah, yeah!"
"Alf," Yu let out in anger. "If you don't stop repeating the same thing like a dumbass…"
"Mountains!" Alf whispered, careful to make sure the Five and Po were still sleeping. "What does China begin, and end with? Mountains! What did we start our journey with, and gonna end at? Mountains!"
Yu sighed. "Dude - I can think of literally a thousand things that work too. Rivers, land, people - the riddle's too vague to be answered like that."
Alf huffed. "Look at the background art for the scroll."
Yu squinted, seeing a variety of zigzagging shapes go up and down, like inverted triangles.
"That's just the background art," Yu cut across. "I mean - I guess it kinda looks like some mountains if you - "
"Yu," Alf begged. "Just trust me on this - I got a feeling."
"Okay let's say we just believe in your crazy theory for a second," Yu entertained. "How the hell does that explain the rest of the poem?"
"Six is there, but five should be beware," Alf repeated. "Those are the fifth and sixth lines of the poem. It's telling us to ignore those two lines, basically. To be beware of getting mislead by those."
Yu tried her best to suppress a massive laugh. "Alf - you sound like a total lunatic right now!"
"Answers to my past that I seek…" Alf paraphrased from the riddle, ignoring Yu's criticisms. "I gotta seek it - or be weak. Hmmm… that part still doesn't make sense…"
"Your whole explanation made no sense," Yu giggled. "Come on, lie back down - I think you're getting some kind of fever."
Yu attempted to press a paw to Alf's forehead, but he smacked it away.
"Oh come on! The mountain imagery and my explanation - you're saying it made no sense?" Alf reiterated. "You don't think there's some truth to that?"
Yu sighed. "Whatever Alf. Maybe, okay? For now lemme just - yanno - get you to lie down. You're wheezing."
Alf was completely unaware of how shallow his breathing had become. He allowed her to force him down, waiting for her to start combing his thick hair back.
"Mountains, mountains, mountains…" Alf repeated, eyes closing once more as he started fading. "I'm onto something - I know it…"
Yu smiled.
"Ah!"
Yu sighed, noting that for the second time - Po had interrupted something.
Alf watched the panda shoot up with fear, reaching out randomly. Po quickly stood up, observing Alf and Yu's confused expressions.
"Sorry guys…" Po emphasized quietly, making his way through the cloth tarps leading to the outside of the boat.
Alf pursed his lips in thought. "Sounded like he just woke up from a nasty dream."
"Maybe he got your nightmare," Yu countered with a smirk.
. . .
"Radish, radish, radish… screw my life…"
Po felt like ramming himself into the boat mast. Of all the stupid, idiotic dreams he could have had, this one by far was the dumbest.
A radish.
His parents?
Why did he fight with it?
Why did the radish win?
What the hell was he doing in a dream - fighting a damn radish?
He breathed in cool sea breeze. It was midnight, so hopefully aside from Alf and Yu - no one else had been awoken by his stupid nightmare. He had lost track of how far it was to Gongmen City - but it must have been quite far, since Po still saw nothing around him except their humble boat, overset by infinite stretches of bouncing blue sea - waves gently brushing against the boat's underside. The moon even seemed bored by the situation, beams of light only superficially scattering across the water's surface.
Po walked to the edge of the small boat, huffing at the bags of food that the Five had forbid him from eating until they got to the city.
Drip.
The panda stared behind him, seeing the mast of the boat let water droplets fall to the wooden flooring.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
"Hmmm…" Po wondered.
The panda walked underneath the mast, feeling an idea suddenly hit him.
"Inner - peace…"
Drip.
"Argh!" Po let out, feeling a droplet of water smash into his head. "Inner… peace…"
The panda tried to mimic the movements Shifu had shown him, spreading his legs in a quiet stance while he made twirling motions with his arms.
Drip.
"Ergh - Inner.. "
Drip.
"Inner…"
Drip. Drip. Drip.
Po's cheeks fluffed up, eyes bulging out of his head. Every single instinct in him wanted to scream out loud, but he suppressed this after realizing how easily this would wake up the Five.
"Too late to be out right now."
Po swiveled in place, seeing a calm Tigress emerge from behind the thick tarps leading inside the boat's sleeping chambers.
"Yeah," Po noted, sighing. "Sorry about that…"
"Practicing inner peace?" Tigress questioned, walking behind the large panda.
"Yeah…" Po responded slowly. "... tryna make something work right, I guess…"
"Paws."
Po raised an eyebrow. "Paws?"
"Paws," Tigress repeated, clasping Po's arms to raise them up. "Smooth motions."
The panda watched her make the same movements Shifu had made, but it was much more calm than his - more relaxed, less forceful.
"Wait wait!" Po interrupted. "You know how to do the inner peace thingy?"
Tigress frowned mildly, voice unusually gentle. "No - I um - never managed to figure that out."
Po laughed. "You couldn't figure out a kung fu move? Is that even possible?"
Tigress smiled at his indirect compliment. "It's not a move, Po - inner peace is a state of being."
"Well you're good at being the best kung fu master I've ever seen," Po let out, fanboy-like enthusiasm beating him. "Can't think of anything you haven't mastered…"
Tigress turned her gaze down, seemingly upset with herself over something. Po wanted to ask her what, but wasn't given the opportunity to do so - Tigress had already encouraged him to mimic her movements.
"Smooth," she commanded, watching Po jerk around for a while. "Smoother."
Po grunted, feeling his elbows lock up and ears prick up at the incessant dripping sound. "I'm trying, I'm trying…"
Tigress grasped both his paws, making the movements for him. "Smooth now…"
Po felt her slow down his arm movements. He also understood the pressure she was applying on his forearms now - the resulting movements felt more natural, more calm - almost as if he wasn't doing a move at all.
"Let your body do the talking," Tigress quietly mentioned. "Let it guide your movements."
Po couldn't help but laugh. "It's so weird yanno? Seeing you teach and be not hardcore and stuff…"
Tigress moved away, narrowing her eyes at him. "Hardcore? I don't understand."
Po snickered. "I mean - like not kicking butt all day. Just being relaxed and - and just normal!"
"You don't think I'm normal?"
"Of course not!" Po immediately responded, eyes widening as he saw her expression depress minutely. "I mean - in a good way! Like - you're so badass that being normal is like - beneath you. You don't feel anything!"
Tigress' expression didn't change. She took a step back, turning her gaze down even further. "I see…"
"I don't mean it like that," Po urged, anxiety spiking. "I just mean that you're so hardcore that you can't really get hurt, or tired, or sick…"
"You mean I can't feel anything," Tigress summarized, voice still unusually quiet.
"Yeah! I mean - " Po started, wondering how to adjust this tone. " - I mean throughout the whole time we've been on the road, you don't get hungry, tired, or cold…"
Tigress offered a gentle, but still forced smile. "So why are you here?"
Po breathed a sigh of relief, happy to be off the misguided conversation. "I'm practicing inner peace."
Now Tigress' trademark smirk came back. "And I'm about to raid the dumpling box!"
Po felt confused. "What?"
"Aren't we playing the who's worse at lying game?" Tigress retorted, walking closer to the panda. "Po - why are you really out here?"
The giant panda sighed, sitting down hard as he ran a paw along the side of the boat, feeling cold water brush past and soak his fur.
"I don't know," Po finally mentioned. "I had this dream."
Tigress kneeled down next to him, tilting her head to the side in curiosity. "Nightmare?"
"Sort of," Po half-agreed. "I was fighting - fighting this radish. And the radish won!"
Even though she was clearly trying her best to be empathetic, Po could clearly see the edges of Tigress' mouth just begin to curve up.
"Did - did the radish win?" Tigress asked, smile betraying herself.
"Okay this is stupid…" Po huffed, beginning to stand up before Tigress forced him down again.
"No, I mean - what else happened?" Tigress tried again, fully sitting down now. "Was there anything else?"
"My parents," Po simply stated. "They were pandas. Both."
"Mr. Ping?"
Po gulped, throat tightening. He began to look away, covering both of his eyes as they began to redden. Tigress seemed to understand her mistake, inching closer to him to lay a paw on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry," she quietly spoke. "I shouldn't have brought it up. I just thought…"
"His birthday - or I guess - anniversary was some days ago," Po let out, mild sniffle emerging.
Tigress smiled kindly. "Yes. I know."
"I keep thinking - what if we'd just managed to see Tai Lung coming sooner?" Po questioned, shaking his head. "What if somehow - we just…"
Po became silent again, sniffle returning more strongly. Tigress blinked - vivid and painful memories coming back.
"I know he like - tricked you and the Five into thinking he was a guard or something," Po interrupted, surprising Tigress. "But - I can't shake off that feeling that somehow I'm - I wasn't there…"
Tigress remained absolutely silent, guilt forcing through her.
If she hadn't gone out to face Tai Lung, Po's father would still be alive.
If she and the Five hadn't fallen for such an idiotic disguise - Mr. Ping would still be alive.
If she had somehow managed to reel in even a tiny bit of her ego - Mr. Ping would still be alive.
"It's not your guys' fault," Po whispered, reading her expression perfectly. "It's just - I dunno. I feel like I'd have more answers if he was still, yanno…"
"Answers to what?" Tigress noted, choosing to speak now.
Po sighed, removing his paw from the water before shaking the residual moisture off. He leaned his head back against the tall mast, taking two thick fingers up to his brows to rub them harshly. He took the time to look back at Tigress, who still sat patiently next to him - observing all of his movements with intense dedication. It surprised Po greatly that she was even out here, talking: the panda had never seen her interact with anyone else to this degree - except Alf - but that was mostly teasing, and she had shown a considerable interest in trying to wrangle the truth from Po.
"Answers to all the dumb stuff that's been on my mind," Po breathed. "Red, ringed tattoos. Nightmares. The peacock. My parents… Dad…"
He paused, shutting his eyes. "... feels like I'm losing my mind."
Po felt a warm paw touch his shoulder again, clasping it tightly. He turned to see Tigress' face change - from understanding, to somber.
"I was an orphan," Tigress denoted slowly. "I - I was at a place called Bao Gu."
Po felt shocked. "You - you didn't know your parents, either?"
Tigress smiled sadly. "First memory I had - breaking the floorboards and toys in that place."
She chose to relax more now, eyes lost in deep thought. "The monster… great nickname to have as a kid…"
Po sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"But I learned to live with it," Tigress finished, staring at Po more firmly now. "I learned to live with the fact that - sometimes, we don't get to know everything."
Po stared back at her. "You - you think I won't know what happened? I won't be able to find out?"
Tigress shook her head. "I'm saying we might not always find out everything."
Po hesitated, unsure of how to agree with this. A small part of him did end up agreeing, but the rest of him felt that this seemed too depressing - to live, consciously knowing some things were never meant to be, some things were never meant to be understood.
"You think Allison spends the day worrying about her past?" Tigress offered.
"Allison, heh - is that like your favorite nickname for him?" Po fired back, smiling.
"Her," Tigress corrected sarcastically. "And - yes."
"He's different though," Po immediately returned. "He - I mean - I don't even think it's possible for him to figure out anything… but for me, I feel like - like I could get something! Talk to someone, anything…"
Tigress nodded her head. "Of course. You might find some answers Po - just don't expect to know everything, or even understand everything… learn to be okay with - not being okay."
Po blinked at her, unusually comforted by this. It felt uncomfortable, actually - but the way Tigress was making it seem - it seemed like a natural process of life, as if it was something everyone went through.
No one knew everything.
And even if he didn't - Po knew he would always have a family to keep him grounded in the present.
"Thanks Ti," Po breathed, smiling broadly at her. "You - I would have never expected all that, coming from you."
Tigress smiled, but it was a bit sad once again. "Maybe the hardcore can understand…"
Po seemed to sense something rare in her - something he hadn't seen in all of the two years he had known her personally.
Vulnerability.
He had to take advantage of it.
"So - is that why you can't do inner peace?" Po questioned softly. "Because - because of some things in your past…"
Tigress' face was unreadable, but she crossed her arms over her bent knees and clasped. Po found himself intensely captivated by her orange eyes, guard completely down as the eyelashes drooped slightly. It felt open and honest, a position he had never seen her in before, and Po couldn't help but have his heart beat a bit quicker.
He knew that feeling.
Knew exactly what it was.
But he needed to suppress it - to make sure it wouldn't ruin the moment.
He would let it out. Tell it.
In time.
"It's - " Tigress started. "I was - "
"So whaddya guys talking about?"
Po felt infuriated, seeing Mantis frame pop into view as he leaped onto his shoulder. The panda internally groaned as the rest of the Five made their way out of the tarp - Crane idly moving forward and yawning, while Viper and Monkey seemed to already be stretching and shifting around.
And Tigress' previous position was gone. She was already standing up again, face back to the plastic stalwartness that she exuded so often, and so well - none of the Five seemed to even notice.
Po observed that Mantis had now broken up two intimate moments - first with Alf and Yu, and now with himself and Tigress.
Intimate moments? Po asked himself internally. I need to stop using that word…
"I'm sorry, were you guys love-talking?" Mantis urged, giggling. "Confiding your deepest, darkest secrets?"
"Mantis, you're a total buzzkill," Po whispered in annoyance.
"Tell her how you feel yet?" Monkey broke in, cackling underneath his breath. "You only get one - "
"Would you shut up?" Po hissed.
"Po."
"What?" the panda replied in frustration, then reeled it back as he understood that it was Tigress who had uttered his name.
Po's mouth fell wide. He made his way to the front of the boat, wood creaking as the rest of the Five followed him. They formed a circle behind Tigress - who was staring intently ahead.
In front of all of their vision, a gentle streak of sunlight was just beginning to break - dawn was incoming. The cascading light rays bounced off the thick water, parting across each other to illustrate a gigantic, massive group of structures - way off in the distance. Po could make out a large wall at the area's exterior, but also huge towers, a never-ending stream of buildings, and a rough line of wood that seemed like a dock. The entire region - which stretched from Po's left field of vision all the way to his right - seemed enormous.
It looked like all of China had been compressed into one city.
"We're here," Tigress declared.
A/N
Ahh…. a SUPALONG (I think like 6k+ words? XD), chunky, meaty chapter with LOADS of plot stuff. I love writing these kinds of things.
One thing I wanted to demonstrate is the conflict of "pasts" for everyone - everyone has some dark sh** that they don't know/wanna know. Zhong, Yu, Alf, Tigress, Po - there's always something that seems to put people off - but I think Tigress' line about being "okay" with "not being okay" was a good line to write about it - thematically, anyways.
I don't have much else to say. Enjoy following up! One thing I wanna try to do is make sure everything seems progressive - I try not to "forget" about plotlines or make anything seem like filler - I try to make every single line for: characterization, description, or advancing a plot idea. I also try to make callbacks and references, to make sure there's a good sense of continuity going. Feel free to re-read earlier chapters to make sure you're catching everything!
(Note: Even I actually had to do that - I nearly forgot about Mantis knocking Alf and Yu out, but re-reading allowed me to get better continuity and insert that funny little "Mantis is a buzzkill" joke in there!)
Support? Simply phenomenal. :D
And THIS time, chapter updates might actually come by next Friday 12:00 GMT - or before. IDK. I like writing. :)
~TW
