A Waken 14.5

"He actually said that?" Lafter asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

Leave it to the Protectorate to realize how fucked they were and make me feel bad about it. Bright side, I didn't have to worry about the morality of not saying anything anymore. Downside, if I had said something, would things be different?

A very loud part of me reassured myself that nothing I did or didn't say would have changed what was happening to the Protectorate. A small part said it was still my choice not to say anything, and that part wondered how different working in secret was from doing nothing.

Lafter clicked her tongue on the other side of the phone. "What do we do about it?"

"For now?" I frowned. "Nothing. There's nothing we can do but assume Teacher knows Chevalier knows something is wrong and may know we're onto him."

"Chevalier may be under his influence," Veda noted.

Dinah broke into the conversation. "I could—"

"No."

I wasn't surprised that Veda said it with me. I was surprised Lafter joined in.

"Veda told me what happened yesterday, half-pint," she chided. "No more power use for you!"

Dinah started to protest. "But—"

"You know the lengths I will go."

"...Fine."

That was refreshing. Though a bit off topic. "I don't think he's a Pet."

"Why say anything?" Veda pointed out.

"Exactly. I think he's being honest. He's realized how screwed the situation is, and—and I think he's going to do something."

"Something like what?" Lafter asked.

"Like leverage all the power he can to remove as many problems as he can while he can."

That sentence sucked, but it was my assessment. Chevalier knew time was limited. Rather than focus on a problem he didn't know how to solve, he was using everything to solve as many other problems as possible. Eventus? Arrested. Now if Uppercrust up and died suddenly, his successor would be a more cooperative cape. Just one of many problems he could solve with all the capes he could imagine to throw at them.

"It's more than that though," I knew.

"Hit as hard as he can and live with the consequences," Dinah mumbled.

I stopped at the street corner, scowling.

"I didn't use my power," Dinah protested. "This time."

I really wanted to ask her. That's the fucked up part. I knew how exhausted Dinah was, how burned out she'd become. I wanted to ask anyway.

Temptation is terrible, like hate. It fucking crawls.

"Yeah," I whispered. "I think he'll strike as hard as he can, and I think he's ready to burn the Protectorate down to do it."

"That's why he's using the Wards like this," Veda commented.

"I think so."

The Wards offensive hadn't stopped since it started yesterday. The intensity had lowered, but the Wards were still attacking across New York and surrounding areas. The Protectorate had only interceded twice. Once against a group called Lost Garden, and again against the Bratva.

I didn't even know the Russian mob was in New York.

Apparently, no one expected Tunguska to become such a problem. His power moved slowly. Unfortunately, that also meant that the longer a fight went, the more hazardous it became. Same with Lost Garden and their leader, Barrow.

I'd been there with Chris and Housenka for that second part. Barrow would normally not have struck me as such a powerful cape; his power only seemed to grow a forest in a wide area around him—except his forest was weird. After a second team got lost in it and couldn't find their way out, the Protectorate just sent Cinereal in to burn it out.

It actually took her a while because his power was freaky, but she weakened it enough that Flash teleported Armsmaster right next to Barrow and one of our anti-brute serums actually got used.

So that was nice.

After that things wound back a bit though. Lots of villains went to ground. Others started clearing out. Smaller teams were deploying against them. Others were doing public patrols. News spots. PR events. The Wards mostly organized all of that too, along with their PR reps.

Chevalier is preparing them to be all that's left.

Damn my hero complex. "There is something we can do."

Lafter hummed. "I'll bite—what?"

"Locate Teacher's Pets and help remove them," Veda answered.

I nodded to myself. "If the top of the Protectorate is now aware and involved, we have options we didn't have before."

Lafter clicked her tongue again. "I thought we were okay with letting the Protectorate go down."

Did I have to keep explaining this to everyone?

With a sigh, Trevor finally spoke up. "It's not about the Protectorate. It's about not letting people die when they don't have to."

I bowed my head and crossed the street. "Yeah."

I'd almost forgotten he was on the line.

Trevor was an oddly resilient person. He finally decided he wanted to know what was happening, and I told him. He got upset for all of a day. Then he was back at it, managing the factory and helping with projects as if I'd never said anything.

"The Protectorate probably wouldn't survive the scandal," he continued. "They'd never be able to explain why anyone should trust them when Teacher played them for fools for years. They'd have to disband, or Blue Cosmos will run for office on making them disband."

I agreed. "The Protectorate is still going to fall. The heroes don't have to fall with it. In that, nothing has changed."

"Gloomy," Lafter quipped. "Okay. How do we do that?"

"I can—"

"No."

Trevor joined in this time.

As for what we could do… "We can ask Chevalier about the attack. We still have thirty-six hours to figure something out. How close is Faultline?"

"Close," Veda answered.

I didn't know how she did it, and I really didn't care now. It would be faster than having Dinah ask about every member of the Protectorate for weeks straight.

Everything costs money.

Anything clandestine costs moneybrokers.

We find Number Man, we find the leads to everyone working with Teacher. I really only fully understood that after Faultline's attack on Mockelburg. His connections to Blue Cosmos. The Think Tank. Everything. All of Teacher's schemes would be connected by associations, timing, and money. Probably not David himself—I wasn't going to bet on catching the world's biggest asshole like the FBI caught Capone.

Undoing his network of Pets? That we could do with the information we had. We just needed the money books to see where all the connections were.

"Tattletale could help," I admitted. "I'm going to ask her."

"Assuming she doesn't already know you're going to ask her."

"Shut up, Lafter."

"You know we have an HR department now."

"I'll call you back in a few hours."

"It's a good thing we love each other or I'd sue for a hostile work environment!"

I hung up and for a moment considered that Mrs. Knott wasn't wrong. Neither was Chris. Still, not really the time to consider what that said about me.

Maybe I was just hopelessly hopeful? The Wards and the Protectorate might die as organizations, but the people who made them up could go on. There was somewhere to go from here, no matter how dire or horrible the coming storm was.

The future was still there, waiting for us.

We just had to take it.

That...That made me happy, somehow.

I walked down the block and crossed over another street.

New York was a very different kind of city than Brockton Bay. I thought I knew busy and crowded. Turns out, I was clueless.

The streets in New York were packed. The cars were so thick I'd never manage a safe chase in it. The people were so numerous, it amazed me we hadn't had a bunch of civilian casualties in the past thirty-six hours.

New York City was huge, and shockingly not as well laid out as you'd think.

I suspected the reconstruction of the city after Behemoth and the Gold War was a bit of a mess.

Slipping the PRT and Dragon wasn't hard in the end. Kati made up an excuse about having to meet with someone, and we actually went and did some of our own PR work since the PRT didn't really talk about me even when asked. After that, I was already out of sight. If anyone asked, I had a business meeting.

Green and Red covered my surroundings from above to make sure I wasn't followed, and switching out of my costume into street clothes worked wonders.

In Brockton Bay my face was well known. It can be surprising how often people didn't notice me, but once they did they knew. In New York I was just some girl with dark hair in jeans and a hoodie. Crowds were too thick and movement a bit too congested for anyone to get a good look at me. Being from a different city, those who did seemed to think nothing of it.

Of course, there were so many people it was hard not to bump into someone.

"Watch where you're going, bitch!"

And I thought Brockton Bay could be rude.

I still made good time. Helped that the scenery wasn't much to look at. New York is covered in TV screens. Far, far too many TV screens. They were everywhere, blaring ads and news feeds. I saw Weld on one, talking with a group of capes by a car wreck. No real time to wait and see the story there.

"Hello," the hostess greeted. "Do you have a reservation?"

"Fortuna," I replied.

The woman nodded and looked at the papers set before her podium. "The rest of your party has already arrived. This way please."

The restaurant was a lot fancier than anything in the bay. It was dimly lit, but in an atmospheric sort of way. There were two stories, with an oddly-shaped bar at the center of the room on the main floor and an empty stage above it. Seemed like an odd design choice but I suppose there was a style to it, though I was under-dressed in comparison to others.

My slacks and blouse were the same kind of sleek and fitting clothes I usually wore to school, and my hoodie wasn't from a bargain bin. The rest of the clientele though were dressed in designer dresses, nice suits, and expensive coats.

The hostess led me to the second floor by way of a winding stairway. There were enclosed rooms along one side of the establishment, something I did recognize from Brockton. Guess other cities did the same thing. Private rooms and screens for capes. Probably only a few businesses did it, but given the upscale air and the name over the door, it made sense that Mantello's would host such a feature.

That name is so cheesy though.

People probably didn't notice it's Italian for 'cape.'

"Right in here ma'am." The hostess indicated a door but didn't open it or look inside.

"Thank you." I noticed a slot in the wall, which was different from the places I'd experienced. Guess they went all in on privacy.

"You can use your phone to place your order."

I nodded and she departed. I gave her time to get a good distance away before turning to the door. Probably my last real chance to turn back. Knowing Tattletale, she'd know I was out here. Which meant leaving would mean letting her know I turned and left…

And when exactly did I get into an ego race with fucking Tattletale?

They probably brought her along just to make sure I'd show up.

I wasn't sure what I expected on the other side when I opened the door.

Silence wouldn't have made the list though.

And silence is fucking—

"Yeah, yeah it's awkward and you've already had enough for the week and the week has barely started." Tattletale poured sugar into her coffee. "Let's get on with it. It's not going to get any less awkward with you standing there."

I decided to be petty. "That's a lot of sugar."

"Sue me. I haven't had coffee in months. They don't have any in Sanc. All they have is tea."

What's wrong with tea?

"What's wrong with tea?"

My attention shifted to Relena Peacecraft while Tattletale mumbled something about leaf broth.

The question was clearly addressed to Tattletale, but Relena's eyes watched me. It was just the three of us, and I knew that because I remembered Aisha existed. She was off following leads on Teacher's scheme.

Did Chevalier know about her?

Probably safe to assume yes. He knew about Faultline. Grue was with her. Not a big leap from knowing I was working with her to guessing Aisha might be around. That was unfortunate. A stranger no one remembered and that no one knew was working with me is an unsurprisingly useful person to have around.

"You're distracting yourself," Tattletale quipped.

"Can you tell what I'm thinking now?"

"It would be rude to repeat in polite company."

"Good."

I took a seat at the table. Tattletale was dressed modestly. I wouldn't call her clothes unflattering, but they weren't flattering either. If anything she looked plain and unremarkable, which were words that did not describe her accurately otherwise. I suppose that worked for her. She wanted to avoid notice. Relena dressed casually herself. A nice sweater and leggings with a modest skirt. The scarf around her neck was the only particularly fashionable item she wore.

And it was just the three of us. "Count isn't here?"

"She said she was busy." Relena's eyes turned toward Tattletale warily. "Though, I think she was lying."

"She wants the two of you to figure this out for yourselves," Tattletale explained. "She's probably taking a nap or something."

Worried that being present would bring out my anger? She probably wasn't wrong. Hiding from me and any questions I might ask didn't make me less angry, though.

Then again, maybe Count wasn't the point of this chat and it was best she wasn't around.

Maybe her power told her that.

"Why are you here?" I asked Tattletale.

"Oh, I'm here for the show. Don't mind me."

"She thinks I'm naive," Relena offered.

"No. I think you're both naive, but no one listens to my opinion."

Testily, I proposed, "Then shut up."

The silence returned.

My tea was delivered through the slot in the wall, but I was slow to get it and return to the table.

"God you two are unbearable," Tattletale grumbled.

"I said—"

"And this is ridiculous." She pointed her stirring stick at me. "You want to save the world and shit." She pointed it at Relena. "You want to save the world and shit." Twirling the item between her fingers, she drawled, "Now, how about you save the world, together. See? Easy!"

"Is she always like this?" I asked.

"More or less," Relena answered.

"And do you find it as unbearable as I do?"

"See?" Tattletale grinned and raised her coffee. "Here I am, making bridges and contribut—" She stopped, eyes looking forward. "Oh fuck you too Contessa!"

"Language," I quipped.

"Fuck her twice! She did this on purpose!"

"Did what on purpose?" Relena inquired.

Tattletale grimaced, took a long gulp of coffee, and slapped the cup on the table. "To answer your previous question, I am here to make sure you two actually talk about something, even if it's how annoying I'm being."

Relena and I shared a glance.

"I don't think she would do that," Relena proposed.

"I'm more likely to punch you again than talk with anyone about you."

Though, that did get to the point in a roundabout sort of way.

How did Count use people now?

She said she was done with Cauldron and regretted what she'd done while there. Maybe that was true. Maybe not. If she continued old habits, then what role did Relena really play? How much of what Count told me was bullshit? Relena Peacecraft rose to prominence so quickly. Maybe Count used her power to make that happen. Maybe Relena had a power of her own.

A sword and a shield. That's the metaphor Count applied to us. It was poetic, but I wasn't sure I saw the applicability. I was a cape in the US. She was a political speaker in Europe. Maybe we could cross the Atlantic and visit, but how exactly did we work together?

In some ways, it sounded a bit like expecting us to do what we were already doing.

Not sure we needed to be friends to do that.

Relena sighed after the silence started to set in again. "I suppose I'll ask."

Broken from my thoughts, I raised my brow and asked, "Ask what?"

"What would satisfy you in this world?"

Hm. "Do you come by that naturally?"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

I'd gotten good at sniffing out lies. That didn't feel like a lie or an attempt to deflect. She really seemed to not know what I meant. She also didn't seem to care. She set that gaze on me, the one that said she wanted an answer to her question and she wanted it now. It felt heavy, but not in an unnatural way.

I glanced toward Tattletale. She pouted and shrugged.

With a sigh, I stirred my tea.

"I want the future," I mumbled.

"What does the future look like to you?" Relena asked without missing a beat.

I smiled. Didn't mean to. Guess I was getting sardonic about myself. "People like me don't exist there."

"And what kind of person would that be?"

A thought came to mind, and my smile turned wry. "The kind who finds happiness in this mess, and can't fathom any other way to live."

Tattletale, for once, closed her mouth before speaking and returned to her coffee.

Relena scowled, though it seemed too polite to be a scowl in an odd way. "You talk like Hero."

"I hope not." Fuck, I did quote him more than once, didn't I? "He did some dark shit."

"Different Heero," Tattletale whispered. She held up her fingers. "With two 'e's."

My brow rose.. "A friend?"

Relena got this sad look in her face, and her eyes drifted down toward her lap. "He also acts like his life has less value than others."

Tattletale leaned toward me. "It's complicated."

Boyfriend then. That would explain the sadness. "It has nothing to do with how I value my life. I wouldn't know what to do with peace. I'd—"

"It's a very sad way of looking at yourself."

"My life is a sad life."

"Just because a life is sad, does not mean it must always be so."

Relena and Tattletale jumped a bit. I pulled my phone from my pocket and set it on the table. Tattletale mouthed 'oh right' and returned to her coffee.

Relena looked at the device curiously. "Hello."

"Hello," Veda replied. "Apologies. I was not spying."

"She goes where I go," I revealed.

Relena's gaze narrowed. "And where will she go in a future without you?"

It was my turn to scowl. "And what do you want then?"

Her answer came instantly.

"Peace."

I tapped my cup, which I hadn't really drunk from. "Count said that when I asked her."

And Relena got a look of surprise on her face. "She did?"

"Yeah. I don't think I believe her."

"Do you believe such a thing is possible?" Veda asked. "Without wanting to be pessimistic, I have observed that degrees of conflict are inherent to humanity. Even those with good intentions will find themselves in conflict."

"Conflict is perpetuated by lack of trust and understanding," Relena answered. "If people could trust one another, and understand both themselves and the rest of humanity, there would be no need for conflict."

Again, it was immediate. I got the sense she'd had this debate before.

"How?" Veda asked.

Across from me, Relena bowed her head. I got the sense she'd lost this debate before.

"You can't fix everything," I pointed out.

"I know that," she admitted. "I'm not that naive."

"And you'll chase an impossible goal anyway?"

"Yes," she declared. "I'm sure there are many times you've been told what you want to achieve is impossible. Did you stop?"

She wasn't wrong, but I never pursued something as intangibly vague as 'peace.' As absurd as it might seem to others, I had a definite image in my head of what the future should be. Something material. Something practical. I knew what I wanted and I knew what it looked like.

Huh, Kati was right. I did pursue what I wanted.

Even so, there would always be some kind of fighting. Veda was right. It wasn't as simple as good and evil. Cauldron started out with good intentions, and they still became something I'd be fighting if not for all the bigger problems. The road to hell isn't paved with ill-intentions alone.

More unity was good. We needed that. The Endbringers and other S-class threats wouldn't go down so easily. If they did, the Nine wouldn't exist anymore. We needed to work together.

That wouldn't end conflicts between us. The enemy of my enemy is only my friend until our mutual enemy stops existing. Then we're more likely than not enemies ourselves, without something else to rally against.

That was the irony of it, in a way. We fought. We made alliances because we fought. It's not like I liked the Protectorate or the PRT anymore today than I did yesterday, but Teacher was the bigger threat. I didn't want to see people die for nothing, especially not capes who could help me. There wasn't going to be a fairy tale ending though.

Those sorts of things didn't exi—

"My father believed in true peace," Relena said. "Total peace. He thought that if people could learn to change themselves, to adjust their way of thinking, then...then there would be peace." That's stupid. "My father was misguided."

Even Tattletale reacted to that with surprise. She turned her head, brow cocked, and started to speak.

"He was a good father, and a noble man. But he dreamed of the destination. He didn't know how to get there. He thought words alone could change the world." Relena got a longing look, and mumbled under her breath, "Words alone can't change the world."

Neither can actions. Actions without words, without context or meaning, are too vague. Words without action are too empty. The sword and the shield.

"And you think differently?" I asked. "Odd, given how you spend your time."

"I think that we can't not stop the pursuit of peace because it is impermanent. The world is forever turning. Forever changing. We must change with it, or be consumed by a past that has already come and gone."

"The last time we talked, you told me you wanted"—I thought back—"tomorrow?"

"I want people to dream for tomorrow. To keep moving." Her hand raised from her lap. "Go forward."

When did my back straighten?

Relena pressed her hand to the table and I heard it creek. Her lips set in a long line, eyes searching. She always spoke so convincingly. It struck me as strange she seemed at a loss for words, searching for what to say next.

"That's easy to say when you live in a place that loves you." Tattletale seemed less impressed. "Some of us weren't so lucky."

"You wish to remain then?" Relena asked quickly. "In your own misery?"

I gave Tattletale a curious look, but she'd already looked away as if that one bit was all she intended to say. Odd. Fuck Contessa, she said?

"I do not believe anyone chooses to be miserable," Veda offered. "Cranial was not miserable by choice. Othala sought an end to her suffering. Façade actively fought against it." I glanced down at my phone in surprise. "They all brought about more suffering by their actions, rightly or wrongly."

When did Veda give this so much thought?

"Sometimes," she continued, "the ills of the world are brought about by the best intentions. I ponder this often, wondering if we will regret the choices we have made only long after we've made them."

That sounded similar to something Sam Stansfield said.

He talked about it as a side effect of growing old but I thought back to Vanbrace. I knew there would be blowback for siding with Bakuda. For proposing anything close to amnesty for crimes in light of what was coming.

It felt different having someone accuse me of protecting a villain who tried to hurt them. There was more weight. More uncertainty.

Would Vanbrace still think that if she knew Bakuda? Could she, or anyone like her, see Bakuda as I did? Someone with demons, who despite it all willingly risked herself to save others. Orga and the rest of Tekkadan might not be alive without her. Those girls they freed from Lung's brothels might not have survived.

That didn't even start with how she got her power. I looked her up. Vanbrace became a cape six months ago. Did Bakuda's action influence her choices? I had to wonder where she got her vial from. Count claimed to only have one left, and that what was left of Cauldron likely only had a dozen at most.

What wrongs did Vanbrace commit to right another? How much good outweighs the wrongs we've committed?

"We still have to do something," I proposed. Sentiment was no better at bringing about change than words.

"That is all we can do." A weight came back over Relena's expression, as if she'd found the words she wanted. "A world where everyone can pursue happiness, where those trapped in misery are not ignored or denied, even by themselves. Where we go forward and pursue…"

I leaned back in my seat.

She really was a good speaker.

"We should try that bit on Jack Slash," Tattletale grumbled. Jack Slash? "I'm sure he'll be all set and ready to join the commune."

It was an odd example, but she wasn't wrong. Noelle said it herself. "Teacher won't stop because we ask nicely."

"It does seem unlikely," Veda agreed.

"I know that," Relena insisted. "I know I sound naive, but I'm not that blind." Her expression turned sad, and she closed her eyes. "There will always be those who cannot find peace, or don't know how to live in it. Those who see peace as false, or in vain."

I supposed that was a sad way of putting it.

"And despite that, you still think true peace is something that can happen?" I asked.

It was nice, in a way. I knew Piggot and Armsmaster, at times, thought me an idealistic fool. In that way, I could understand Relena. She made sense to me now, though maybe it's more that even a brief talk made it easier to peg her down. I just wasn't sure what Count expected us to do together.

"Yes," Relena answered. Tattletale rolled her eyes, and the princess opened hers. "Because the world is twisted, and always will be. There will always be suffering, and in suffering comes misery. In misery we find ourselves at odds. Those who seek to end their own. Those who seek to end it in others. Those who don't care as long as their own happiness is uninterrupted."

"Those who inflict it?" I asked.

"We all inflict it," she retorted. "Even you and I." I was about to reject that when she said, "Everyone wishes for something. They're like gravity, I think. They draw us down, even as we reach up. The things we pursue can hurt without any desire to hurt. Even so, we can try to get past our own weakness."

We're all weak.

"That is what I want." She looked me in the eye, and with the firmness of stone said, "Tomorrow is not a place. It's a path. A world where we pursue tomorrow, pursue peace and happiness, even as suffering and strife swirl around it. Where we go forever forward"—my hand tensed under the table—"That path, that is utopia."

...

Fuck Count.

I slouched slightly, watching the girl across from me.

It was more than just being a good speaker, it went beyond that. You could tell, hear it in her voice. However foolish or naive she may or may not be, Relena Peacecraft spoke in a way that was earnest. You didn't have to wonder what her ulterior agenda was, because it was obvious she didn't have one.

She spoke from the heart, just like Count said.

"And how is that achieved? Veda asked. "As lovely as the sentiment is, sentiment alone will not make it real."

I was not accustomed to Veda being the downer in the room, though I don't think she meant to be. I also wasn't accustomed to her echoing my thoughts so well.

Tattletale pointed her finger at my phone. "You got a smart kid."

I shot her a warning glare and she just shrugged. Figured. If anyone would put together that Veda wasn't a Case-53 or some cape without a body who felt indebted to me, it would be Tattletale. She wasn't psychic but she figured things out. Pieced them together.

She knew Veda was an AI.

I didn't want her spreading it around.

"All I know is that I should do what I can do," Relena replied. "When my father formed the Sanc Kingdom, he trusted people he shouldn't have. People with ill-intentions, who sought to use us for their own ends. They spoke of being the will of the people." For a moment a flash of anger crossed her features. "Many would-be tyrants insist they speak for the people."

True. "A lot of people don't speak at all," I noted. "They're happy to ignore what's wrong around them, as long as it doesn't affect them."

"It does affect them."

"They choose not to believe that," Tattletale retorted. "People are shit like that."

And again, I was agreeing with Tattletale.

It was just the tip of the iceberg too. The unwillingness of people to stand up and do the right thing was just another problem with her 'utopia' as nice as it sounded. There were Teachers in the world. Everyone says they're justified, including him. There's always an excuse. People who thought extreme actions were necessary to fix what was wrong and tore the world apart in a misguided effort to reform it.

And...maybe Tecton and Vanbrace would accuse me of the same.

"That's why I've chosen my own path," Relena muttered. "To speak to the people and ask them what they want. What they dream. What in this world will satisfy them, and bring them happiness."

"I would observe most people already have an idea of what will bring them happiness," Veda replied. "That does not make them pursue it."

"And there are people who will twist their inaction into power and prestige," Relena agreed. "People like Nobliss. Like Djibril. Like David. Teacher."

The anger that came with that last name struck me as odd. Odd in a—"You didn't know?"

That was absurd. How could Count not have told her?

"Fortuna explained it to me recently," Relena murmured. "She thinks elements within his control were behind the last assassination attempt on my life."

Teacher was behind Ali Al-Saachez? Or maybe just the man who hired him?

Not the point.

Count never told her? She was using Relena as some means to an end, propping her up as a 'shield' for the people and never told her that someone was literally gunning for her to get her out of the way? I knew she used people like tools in the past, but she talked like she didn't anymore.

A snake can shed its skin, but it's still a damn snake.

I glanced at Tattletale.

"Don't look at me," she griped. She waved her free hand in the air flippantly. "I've been dragged into this against my will. I can hardly go off and bystand when Teacher will just assume I'm up to something and try to knock me off."

"You're not that selfish," Relena disagreed.

"I'm pretty sure I am. Unlike the two of you, I think people get what they deserve one way or another. It's none of my business how they end up."

I saw that flippancy for what it was. Tattletale didn't really believe that. Maybe she wasn't all altruistic, but she wasn't nearly as selfish as she was trying to pretend she was. Which meant I was looking for good in Tattletale, fuck my life.

I also saw why she was really here and why she was really angry at Count.

This isn't just about Relena and me.

"Even you know that the world isn't what you want it to be," Relena offered with a small smile. "And you've chosen to become involved."

"No I didn't."

My turn to scoff. "Pretty sure you did."

I didn't think that Tattletale couldn't vanish if she wanted to. It might not be easy or completely safe, but if she wanted to be uninvolved she could be.

"I'm not sure which of us saw it first," Relena continued.

She looked down at her wrist, drawing her sleeve back to reveal a small band around her arm. It was a scar of some sort, not like a cut but more like she'd been restrained at some point. How harshly was she held that it left a scar?

"The world cannot be changed by words alone. Nor can it be changed by brandishing power in the name of others." Was that meant to mean me? "People have to stand up for themselves. They have to give voice to their own wants and their own desires. Pursue their happiness themselves, and break their own misery rather than waiting for others to save them."

Part of me grimaced internally. "Not everyone trapped in pain knows how they got there, or that they can get out. It's not that easy."

It wasn't so easy to escape misery. It's a cage. A locker, even.

It was faint, but I saw a small flicker on Tattletale's face. A sort of resigned agreement. That made sense. She triggered too, didn't she?

"But they can get out," Relena insisted. "You are not where you were when you gained your powers, are you? Can you not advance further?"

My fingers grasped at my knee under the table. "Yes."

"Are you done?"

Done?

There was that weight again. A gaze that demanded an answer.

"Of course not. I'm nowhere close to done." We're not there. Not yet.

"And yet, you are so sure the future you want is a future you don't deserve yourself?"

...

Had she been spending this entire conversation building up to trying to convince me to value my life more? I was getting tired of people assuming I didn't. Not that I held it against anyone. I couldn't find the words to convey what I meant in many regards. The fact I'd scraped by so well was a shock.

"Did you talk to StarGazer about this before I got here?"

"No," she said firmly. "You haven't answered my question."

"It's not an easy question to answer."

"I think it is."

"She's got you and you know it," Tattletale quipped. "And you like her, so maybe the two of you can stop sniffing each other's butts like it's your first day at the park."

I did not dignify that with a response.

"That is why you speak?" Veda asked. "To try and push those who listen to act on their own behalf?"

Relena kept watching me for a bit, but that weight fell away after a moment. She looked away, bowed her head. I again got the sense she'd lost this argument before. Maybe with that Heero guy?

"I cannot solve all the world's ills myself," she lamented. "But I have a voice, and for some reason it seems many people like to hear it." Because she was earnest in the purest sense of the word. "So I will speak, and continue speaking, until others find their way."

It still sounded naive. "And the Teachers of the world? The Jack Slashs?" Jack Slash again. Even I was doing it?

Relena frowned. "I don't know."

Just an 'I don't know?'

I figured she'd have more. All this talk about how people needed to take their own power, it kind of skipped over the impossibility of common everyday people wielding the kind of power that can challenge someone like fucking Eidolon. The first one, that is. The man with all the powers. It didn't broach the issue of Blue Cosmos either, of people who put their faith—their power—into the hands of someone who would use it to start a damn war.

"All I can do is speak," Relena admitted. "And hope. I'm afraid I have nothing else." She bowed her head, barely audible as she continued. "And sometimes I wonder if I'm any different from the Teacher's of the world."

That was harsh.

Tattletale was right. Fuck Contessa. Contessa? Isn't that just Count in some other language?

Relena can be the shield to give voice to what is in people's hearts.

She couldn't be the sword, and maybe for all my own earnestness and shocking success at speaking, I lacked what Relena had.

No, no it went deeper than that. To the cores of who were were.

I was an actor. I went out and did what I thought was right, and I went beyond words to do it. I made enemies. People who didn't trust my intentions. Who saw me as an obstacle to their own hopes. There were people who would actively work against me, even though we should be working together.

I literally had an entire conversation with Chevalier trying to hash that out and still wasn't entirely sure where to go with it.

"Seriously." Tattletale groaned. "You both know you're going to say yes."

"I'm not sure what I'd be saying yes to," Relena admitted.

Tattletale pulled stirring straws from a dispenser on the table. "This line is you." She nodded to Relena and set one straw on the table. Then she nodded to me and set down another. "And that's you. See? Parallel. Now, watch what I do with the tips!" She pinched them together. "Is this geometry metaphor working?"

And that's why she was here.

"Then I suppose," I mumbled, "I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, and get them out of the way."

"This would seem to pose no real burden upon us," Veda agreed. "We'll simply continue doing what we were already doing."

Relena looked between my phone and me. "I'm not sure that's what Count hoped for when arranging this."

"Maybe it's not what she hoped for, but it's what she expected." Tattletale pushed her lower lip out and groaned. "Why do I let myself get roped into this crap?"

"Because you have to be the smartest person in the room," I suggested. Relena's reaction told me she didn't understand. "She's not here just to guard you."

Tattletale rested her cheek into her palm and closed her eyes. "The idealist, the pragmatist, and the cynic. We're a regular triumvirate. Guess Miss Schemes and Dreams figures it'll work out better the second time."

"Not sure I've ever been in a set where I'm not the idealist," I realized.

She opened one eye. "It's relative when you think about it. Compared to her"—she indicated Relena—"you're the more pragmatic of the two."

"And you would be the cynic?" Relena asked.

"Probably figures someone has to keep your heads below cloud level. You philosophical types have a habit of becoming recluses when your hopes and dreams don't pan out the way you expected." She nodded toward me. "Happened to New Wave."

Relena smiled a small smile. "That is cynical."

"Most things become mediocre when the bureaucracy of life gets involved."

"It's more than that." I looked at Relena sympathetically. "She's dying. You know that, don't you?"

Relena grimaced. "Yes."

"She cares about you. She's worried about what happens to you when she's gone, so she's set about appointing a replacement."

"Worst job interview ever," Tattletale groused.

We sat together for a bit, watching one another.

That's all Count really wanted in the end. She figured that Relena and I wanted the same things. We used different words. We used different means. Our end goals were similar enough. A world where people like me didn't exist was a world where misery wasn't ignored and lives weren't cast aside. A world where everyone moved forward was a world where we could pursue the future.

"Would you be willing to do something in conjunction with Londo Bell?" I asked. "Some kind of charity drive or something?"

"Londo Bell?" Relena asked.

"A new non-profit," Tattletale explained. "She set it up with the members of Blue Cosmos opposed to Muruta Azrael and what he's planning to do."

Relena got angry again. "This talk of a war between capes and naturals?"

Guess Azrael's dickishness was known even in Europe. She did mention Lord Djibril's name. He was Azrael's European counterpart.

"Teacher's driving it," I replied, "and he'll make sure it happens."

Even the Protectorate knew that now. Ironic. Ultimately, Noelle was believed. As unpleasant and ugly as the things she had to say were, they were too big to ignore. The consequences were too severe. The truth won out in the end.

Now, there was only the question of how much difference the truth could make.

"You're trying to divide Blue Cosmos?" Relena asked.

"No." Thinking back over our conversation, I grinned. "Those with power will tell people they only have two choices. Us or them."

"And Londo Bell is the third choice, the one that is neither us nor them."

I nodded. "The one that is everyone, together."

"I can list ten reasons off the top of my head how that's not going to work," Tattletale retorted.

"Send them to Veda and I'll come up with ten ways to make it work."

Ah. And then Relena could find ten different ways to explain it so people could understand.

Tattletale flinched, and Relena cocked her head.

"I am Veda," Veda declared. "The fact she is giving you my true name should be taken as a sign that she is willing to cooperate. Taylor only reveals my nature to those she trusts."

"Your nature?" Relena queried.

"She's an AI," Tattletale answered. "Artificial intelligence."

"You already knew," I pointed out. And if Tattletale knew, Count knew. Count might have known even before Tattletale knew, given her power.

"Yeah, but I was willing to play along with the charade."

"I prefer machine intelligence. The connotations of artificial imply my existence is in some way insincere."

"I'm not sure you'll like the connotations of MI any better."

"MI. Military Intelligence… That is a funny joke, though rather disparaging to members of the armed services."

Tattletale scoffed. "Fortunately, they're used to it."

"And you're irreverent to avoid looking uncomfortable," I accused.

"Don't psychoanalyze me, miss hero complex."

"Do as you say, not as you do?"

I ignored her retort, and did my best to reconcile myself to how much I was...okay with this. It really didn't impose on me in any big way. Our goals were aligned. By different words, means, and sentiments, we were going the same way.

"I do still have those Helpers for Sanc," I noted. "Not sure how to get them to you."

"Give her a place and time and it'll work out," Tattletale remarked. "Though if you were really feeling charitable, you'd deal with the merc problem."

"Sarah," Relena protested.

"Merc problem?" I asked.

"The area formerly known as Sweden has become a haven for non-government groups operating outside the law," Veda explained. "Several groups that sell their services, including armed forces, operate out of the region. No one has any technical legal authority."

I grunted. "Like that's ever stopped me, but I'm guessing there's a lot of them." Relena reluctantly nodded yes. "I'd need to think of some way to deal with them in one go, before they retaliate. Something that would keep others from replacing them. I'd need time."

Relena seemed more resigned to that than accepting of it. Peace, I guessed, even extended to the people making her life difficult. The shield needed a sword. Right. Great metaphor Count came up with.

"This is going to be a disaster," Tattletale remarked.

"Only if you make it one," I replied.

"If we were to go back to the original topic?" Relena proposed. "If Londo Bell's goal is to promote unity and cooperation, I am happy to contribute." She smiled wryly. "I wouldn't miss the chance to do more of the one thing I'm good at."

"That would be helpful," Veda agreed. "I am beginning to suspect we have an image problem."

"We can save that for the moment," I thought. "Right now… Right now I'm very busy."

"Seems like all the white hats are." Tattletale pulled her phone out from under the table. She'd been toying with it the entire time. I actually showed my phone rather than playing with it out of sight. "You guys have arrested more villains in the last thirty-six hours than the local Protectorate has in the past two months."

"Teacher is targeting the Wards," I noted. "For once, the Protectorate is baring its fangs and gritting its teeth rather than running from a battle that was always coming."

"It's too little too late."

"For the organization. Not those inside it."

Relena seemed happy to fade into the background for the moment. Guess she wasn't immune to the strain of being at the center of people's attention. I could relate to that.

"Sarah mentioned something about an attack." I could also be wrong. Relena got a forlorn look. "The Wards are just children."

"I'm pretty sure everyone at this table is a child," Tattletale pointed out.

"I have yet to have a birthday," Veda revealed. "I think my progress is excellent, despite my youth." We all looked at my phone. "That was a joke."

Tattletale pursed her lips. "A for effort, sweetie."

Topic at hand. "Have you had time to look over the information we sent?" I asked.

"Moles in the Wards?" Tattletale shook her head. "Wouldn't surprise me. Coil tried that, but he couldn't find a good candidate after you snatched up Chariot for your crusade." I had a hard time imagining Trevor succeeding as a villainous spy. "Yeah, I'm with you there. I can look into it, but you people need to realize my power isn't infinite. I get headaches using this stuff too much."

"Do go on," I murmured, very well aware of the low level throbbing in my skull, even if I barely noticed it most of the time now.

"I'm saying I can't just spin stuff up on a moment's notice. It takes time. You have an AI, can't you do it?"

"There are over one thousand registered members of the Ward," Veda said. "I can investigate all of them, but I am not infallible and can only see what I can find electronically. I can collect information better than any living thing. On the basis of analysis however, it is possible you'll notice something I do not."

"What she said," I agreed.

Tattletale raised her brow. "Are you proposing that you'll share your information gathering capability with"—she pointed at herself—"moi?"

"Might as well."

"Worse case scenario," Veda mused, "we'll ignore you."

"And break in your roof when you do something we disapprove of."

"Oh, scary." She lifted her mug in a mock toast. "But why not? I do like knowing things. Maybe you can help me with this stupid Jack Slash thing."

Again? "You mentioned his name before. It was an odd example."

And it occurred to me he'd been abnormally on my mind a bit the past few days. I couldn't quite explain why, though I did put a hand to my temple as my headaches suddenly flared back up. I'd gotten so used to the damn things they didn't even bother me most of the time anymore.

Was Administrator trying to talk to me again, or...

Tattletale turned her head back and gulped the last over he coffee. "Count told me to track him down and figure out what he's up to." She scoffed. "For some reason. It's been a damn headache because someone keeps interfering and I can't tell who it is."

Interfering? Just like with Dinah. "Who?"

"I don't know. It's mostly low level information manipulation. Sightings that don't make any sense, but are close enough to making sense that I don't know they don't make sense until I've looked into them."

I glanced at my phone. "News stories?"

"Here and there. Social media too. Even some well modified videos and audio. I have no idea who is doing it. Maybe no one is. Fads like this come and go. Someone makes a 'guess what I saw' post somewhere, someone else nearby joins in. Next thing you know it's a snowball effect of false information. Kind of like mass hysteria, but through the Internet."

"You don't believe that," Veda charged.

"Nope."

"Why?"

"Because if it were that banal, Fortuna wouldn't have me looking into it."

Count only asked where Jack was? Not the Nine? Just Jack? "Did she give you a reason?"

"Same reason she gives for everything." Tattletale pointed at Relena over her shoulder.

The girl flinched and looked away nervously. "The path said so," she explained.

Her power told her to have Tattletale look for Jack Slash? "Do you have any idea where he is?"

Tattletale shrugged. "The Nine move fast when they want to. It's shocking how easily you can lose track of a naked Zebra woman, a doll man, and Crawler. I think they're chasing a new recruit. They lost Star Reaver when they hit that Dragon Factory awhile back. There's only seven of them right now. The last place I could pin them was Beardmore, in Canada."

"Beardmore?" The name didn't mean anything to me.

"Ontario," Veda said. "Near lake Nipigon."

Ontario…Oh fuck.

"Oh fuck." Tattletale grimaced. "You just figured something out and it's—"

"I have to go."

I grabbed my phone, stood up, and stopped myself.

What was I doing?

I sat back down.

"I've been trying to find Saint and the Dragonslayers."

Tattletale sat up straight. "Go on."

"They have"—how much do I say here?—"They have something I need. We were tracking them, but they suddenly started moving. They've been moving near nonstop for over a month. By the time we've pinned them down they're already gone."

"And the connection is…?"

"The last time Forecast and I attempted to locate Saint," Veda explained, "we paradoxically got a few possibilities that involved the Nine… Most of the possibilities involving Saint have been very strange lately."

Someone is screwin—No.

My face paled as the chill went over me.

"We need to find Saint," I whispered.

Tattletale looked confused for a moment, then grimaced. "Who? Who's about to get hurt?"

I rose from the table, screaming internally.

How did I let this happen? I should have noticed this. I would have noticed this! If things weren't so busy and crazy, spinning from one disaster to the next—I always assumed that when shit hit the fan, the first target wouldn't be me, but those close to me. Dinah. Lafter. Dad.

I never thought...I thought any threat to her would be further away. That if I stayed low she'd be safe. That I'd have time!

Who?

It couldn't be Teacher. Teacher wouldn't be able to arrange this. Not on his own. He could do convoluted shit with his bullshit powers, but not this. A member of the Nine couldn't be a Pet, right? That was too convoluted, even for him and that meant we were dealing with something else.

We'd been looking for Saint in Manitoba, but Dragon told me just the other day she'd been tracking him in Ottawa. If someone was manipulating headlines and social media—the tools we used to make Dinah's limited uses of her power more efficient—then what? We—We were chasing the wrong possibilities.

Asking the wrong questions and getting the wrong answers.

I could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

Someone knew how Dinah's power worked and they were using it against us!

The Nine hit one of Dragon's facilities right before Behemoth. Did they cross paths with Saint there? Information about him? Were they already trying to find him when that happened?

Tattletale leaned forward. "Well?"

"Dragon," Veda answered. "The Dragonslayers have the capacity to manipulate Dragon."

"And if the Nine are chasing Saint..." I growled, fingers turning white against the table. "If the Nine are chasing Saint, that fucking box is going to fall right into their hands."