A Side RD

Her brow twitched as the blade cut in. It didn't hurt but, part of her wanted it to. Anything was better than…whatever this was. It hurt so much. Even the blocks she'd put on every pain receptor in her body didn't stop it. They were working. They were working exactly like Riley made them to.

And everything still hurt.

Removing the mesh took time. Art was delicate work.

She twitched again at the word.

"Riley?"

"M'fine."

"Harming yourself will not help."

"I know."

She'd only said it a dozen times.

Riley disagreed…or did she? That was part of the hurt. She didn't know anymore. She thought she did, until she didn't. It's not like she ever forgot what Uncl—What Jacob made her do. How he tricked her. How she tried over and over again only for him to cut and stab. She tried to outsmart him but he was always ahead because Uncle Jack was—

Riley stopped and heaved.

She hated it.

She hated feeling this.

A pit in her chest that kept getting deeper and never stopped. Part of her wanted to just go back. Back to being Bonesaw because Bonesaw didn't have to feel pain. Bonesaw got to ignore all the pain she wanted.

And Bonesaw mutilated and murdered her mommy and daddy, and Christi. So many others. She cut and stabbed again and again to make the pain stop.

It never really went away.

Bonesaw just got to pretend it did. Bonesaw got to do whatever she wanted, so long as she remained pointed in Jack's direction.

Riley couldn't pretend anymore.

Pink rolled around from behind her, jumping up onto the bed and peering at the set up table.

"That's enough," Veda instructed.

Riley kept the tool in her arm, removing the mesh from under her skin inch by agonizing inch.

"Please," she wheezed.

Her eyes were still enhanced so the tears didn't blur her vision. While her chest shook, she detached her shoulders to keep her arms steady and she couldn't fathom what she'd done to herself. What she'd done to Mommy and Daddy and Christi.

"I want them out," she begged. "Please. I want them out."

She couldn't remove all of them. Bonesaw had been good at her art. A master. Uncle Ja—Jacob praised her all the time. It was her power too. She felt it winding in the back of her mind. It was different than before. Less subtle, and less pushy.

Bonesaw had never been able to feel her passenger.

Riley could.

She felt it plain as day. It was a strange thing. Excited for the art and yet reluctant to continue.

It had never seen things that way before. It didn't understand.

Riley didn't understand either.

She just wanted as many as she could get out.

Pink's body rotated back, eyes looking up at her face. She'd already removed most of the modifications she's made there. No scars. Her power was good for that. Without the blockers though, she couldn't hide what she really felt anymore.

Everything hurt.

"Finish what you're doing," Veda decided. "Then we will take a break."

Riley continued removing the mesh and started to protest. "Pl—"

"Everyone needs a break, Riley. Finish what you're doing for now. We will continue later."

Riley paused for a moment, trying to think. Jacob never told her to stop, except when he wanted her to do something else. He usually let her do whatever she could come up with.

He was a rotten uncle.

"Okay."

Riley continued removing the mesh. She pretended taking out the reinforcements around her radius and ulna were part of that process. They weren't. They needed to come out so she could remove the ten-inch blade hidden between the bones. All the blockers attached to her nerves were actually integrated with the mesh, so no questions were asked as she removed them.

Riley dropped it into the biohazard container Pink had brought her, along with the mesh. From there, she closed her arm up, sealed the skin, and placed the tools on the table. Pink looked her arm over first, and then turned her attention to the table.

Riley stayed silent, pushing herself back onto the bed and wrapping a blanket around herself.

Her mother used to do that. Tuck her in. Before Riley ruined her.

The tears were coming again.

Pink was still packing up the biohazard container and the tools Veda provided. When the small robot jumped down to leave it said something about 'dinner in ten, dinner in ten.'

The door to her room opened and Pink waddled out with the container and tools.

Long legs passed the robot and Riley turned her head away.

It occurred to Riley the only way she could kill herself was starvation. Of course, the same modifications that made that the only way to die also meant it would take nearly a year. No way she'd be able to fake eating that long. Not that she would, it just… It was something she thought about sometimes because she found it comforting.

She'd never become Bonesaw again if she were dead.

A weight settled in on the bed, and Taylor asked, "How you doing?"

Riley would laugh if she wasn't so miserable. "Fine."

Taylor nodded and leaned back against the wall. "That's good. Need anything?"

"No."

"You can ask if you do."

"M'fine."

Riley didn't want to talk to Taylor.

She was like Jack. There was something about her, something that drew people in.

And that dream…

That wasn't supposed to happen. The broadcasters shouldn't be able to do that. The passengers didn't want anyone to see them. They avoided it. Memory wipes. Behavioral manipulation. Riley could feel it in herself now, even if she couldn't tell what her passenger wanted.

How did Taylor get through that barrier?

Riley turned her face away to hide her expression. Her passenger was acting up as she thought about it, trying to turn her attention elsewhere. That's what they did. It's what they were supposed to do.

Except for Taylor.

Taylor reached right out to her passenger and took its hand.

"You're like Jack," Riley whispered.

"His power?" Taylor asked in a disturbingly calm tone.

"That's how it worked." It had to be. "He had a backdoor in. The broadcasters connecting all the passengers together. He could hear them. They told him things."

"Makes sense."

Riley shifted uncomfortably.

She felt trapped.

Made sense. She was trapped. She didn't even know where she was. Not the same place she'd been. Veda had opened a portal of some kind and instructed her to go through it. For all she knew they were in the arctic. Newtype seemed like the kind of person to build a secret arctic base.

This room was nicer than the isolation chamber in Newtype's workshop, but it was still a cell.

She wasn't dead, easier as that might be.

"Want to see something freaky?" Taylor asked.

Riley didn't really see any choice in the matter.

Jack was like that too.

He liked pretending she had a choice other than the one he wanted.

Taylor's visor landed on the bed between them and Riley glanced up at her.

"Freaky," Taylor mumbled. "Right?"

Riley stared.

Her eyes were glowing. No, not glowing. They were shimmering. The material of the iris wasn't emitting light, it was phasing back and forth. The light was just a byproduct. There was something behind her eyes, something golden.

Riley felt a familiar pang. The need to know.

"How?"

"No clue. Happens a lot now, especially when I'm near capes. I can hear them. Feel them, what they're feeling."

Riley pulled her knees to her chest. "You are like Jack."

"No." Taylor stared ahead, eyes fixed firmly on something. Not the wall, or the floor. Not the ceiling. She was looking at something though. "Jack used you, Riley. You were his little art project. His thing to play with."

Taylor turned the visor in her hand.

She tilted her head, as if listening to something. Riley didn't hear anyone, and her visor was in her lap. The earpiece was plain as day on the device, and it had a display too.

Passenger.

"You're not a toy, Riley. You're thirteen and your life was stolen from you." Taylor lifted her visor and fit it back over her eyes. "And you'll have to find some way to live with it."

Riley already knew that.

Her passenger was blocking a lot, but she vaguely recalled what happened at Kyushu.

'We can live with it.'

She couldn't get the words out of her head.

"So," Taylor sighed. "What do you want, Riley?"

Riley waited. No doubt Taylor wanted her for her power. Someone to patch her up, and all the other capes who were with her, no matter what happened. Maybe she wanted to know what Riley knew about the passengers. She wasn't any different from Jack in the end. He only wanted to use her too.

Honestly, she didn't really care. She had to use her powers and if she was going to use them she might as well start…doing better than before. Riley just wished she wouldn't be manipulated into it.

Taylor would use her power and tell her what to do without telling her.

Just like Jack did.

Except Taylor didn't say anything. She sat, waiting. Staring past the wall.

Riley kept waiting, and Taylor kept not saying anything.

"What do you want me to do?"

Taylor shrugged in response. "It's your life again. You tell me."

Riley waited a bit longer. No hints. No suggestions. No offhand commentary that put an idea in her head. No friendly smile hiding the cruel threat that she'd suffer if she didn't do as she was expected to.

"Want time to think about it?" Taylor eventually asked.

That didn't help.

"I…"

Riley shuddered, suddenly feeling her passenger's presence. It wasn't anything specific. No chill or crawl under her skin. Just an overwhelming sense that something somewhere was watching. Listening…but not whispering. It did that, didn't it? Told her to pick up the scalpel she was all too eager to hold. Give her the excuse to keep on being—

"I never want to be Bonesaw again," Riley whimpered.

Taylor turned her head, tearing her eyes from the wall.

"I'd rather be dead," Riley affirmed.

Taylor frowned. Her lips parted as if to speak but then shut. She inhaled, looked away, and rose from the bed.

"Okay. If you ever go back to being Bonesaw again, I'll kill you."

Riley gawked as the older girl turned to the door.

"It doesn't have to end that way," Taylor continued. "You don't have to be Bonesaw again if you don't want to."

She didn't, but it wasn't that easy. She still remembered. She still wondered. She wanted to see what was going on in Taylor's brain. What was making her eyes shimmer like that? She could find out if she took Taylor apart.

"But you don't have to say anything now if you don't want to. Come on."

Riley didn't respond at first.

Part of her really wanted to take Taylor apart.

That terrified he—

Come on?

Riley raised her head and found the door to her cell open. She waited, expecting the door to close any moment. It didn't.

Cautiously, she rose from the bed and let her blanket trail after her. She didn't really know what was beyond the cell. When she'd been moved Veda took her straight to her cell with a teleporter of some kind.

The doorway opened into a large open room.

The Gundams were there.

Six of them. Riley only recognized one though.

Taylor's in the middle. The one with two of those engines that produced hordes of broadcasters but that Taylor said contained no Gemmas. Her power was itching at her again, curious and eager. She had to restrain herself from approaching.

Workbenches, shelves, and other machines filled the room. Taylor was at a desk in the corner, surrounded by monitors. A blonde was with her, pointing at one of the screens and talking while Taylor listened.

She couldn't have forgotten about her.

"Howdy neighbor."

Riley flinched and turned.

Blue eyes watched her skeptically. Laughter leaned against the wall, arms crossed under her chest. There was another door beside her. Stepping around, Riley looked into a cell identical to her own, except with a lot more clothes tossed about and some books on a desk.

Laughter was a funny cape name for someone named Lafter. Riley still felt like she'd laugh at it if she were in a better mood. At the moment, Lafter didn't seem in a good mood either.

Neighbor, she said. "You live here?"

"I have a room here."

A room.

Not a cell.

A room.

Riley stepped back. Three Haros ran past her ferrying boxes filled with parts. One stopped and looked up at her for a moment, the red one, before turning and continuing on its way. The workshop was big. Stepping around a row of printing machines, she saw a stairway leading down to an open floor.

A dozen bulkier machines stood there, half of them in different states of assembly. Mechanical arms moved parts into place and fitted them. Haros surveyed the work, pointing and directing one another about. Veda's human body was there talking to—

Riley shuffled back around the corner and leaned to see.

She recognized the boy. He was tall and broad-shouldered. He'd been the one who attacked Jack from behind. He wore the same jacket as the boy she…

Riley turned away and went back toward her room.

"Going back in already?" Lafter asked. "You finally came out."

Finally?

Riley paused, looking into her room.

She stepped back and turned, looking through the workshop again. Newtype's workshop. She was in another tinker's workshop. Riley aside, everyone always said not to attack tinkers where they lived because Bonesaw did that all the time! There were tools here. Material. She was already itemizing everything she'd need to rebuild Mr. Spider and the rest of her robots. She even had the gray matter on hand.

"Why?" she mumbled.

"Where else are we supposed to put you?" Lafter asked.

"You don't want me here," Riley knew.

"Yeah well…" Lafter pouted and shrugged. "I trust Taylor."

Was she insane? Were they insane? They were letting her live in their home. "Why?"

"Because Taylor thinks everyone can be better. She's right. Sometimes."

Riley shifted uneasily.

She couldn't be here. She'd do something bad if she stayed here. She—

Lafter grimaced. "Don't do that please." Lowering her arms, she slouched forward and ran a hand through her hair. "The things I do for the magic of friendship."

She moved forward suddenly, placing a hand on Riley's shoulder and turning her around.

"Come on. We moved the best recliner on Earth over here. We liberated it from Lung by the way. Hilarious story."

There was a room branching off from the side. Riley had been in enough old industrial buildings to recognize a break room but someone had renovated the place. There was a big TV, couches, a small kitchen and dining room space, and one lone recliner.

Lafter pushed Riley into it and turned her head.

"Where did the remote go? This happens every time the Haros watch animal planet."

Riley shifted uneasily as the older girl began searching the couch cushions.

"Just tell me what she wants," she pleaded. This was wrong. It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

"There you are!" Lafter drew up, lifting a remote in her hand. Her smile faded quickly. "I want Taylor to never get bit in the ass for trying to do right by you." Lafter leaned in and plopped the remote in Riley's lap. "So I'd like it if you didn't do that. See you 'round."

Riley watched her leave the room, leaving her alone. There weren't any cameras in the room. None that she could see anyway. Which probably meant there were. They couldn't be that crazy. Bonesaw could create a plague with some glasses, a few needles, a microscope and tap water.

Leaving her alone was…

She didn't get it.

She might as well not get it watching cartoons.

Turning the TV on reminded her of Ned. She didn't know what happened to him, but he probably wasn't dead.

Riley sat.

She watched the shows. There wasn't much else to do. Much as her fingers itched, it would be insane to give her tools and let her do whatever she wanted. Tinker time under supervision made sense. Riley wasn't much in the mood to tinker her day away anyhow.

She didn't really listen though.

She was biting back the taste of bile in her mouth.

Watching cartoons and thinking of Ned, it all came rushing back. The things she'd done. The things she'd laughed at. Ned crushing people because they got in his way one second and watching cartoons the next. Sibby eating people and then combing her hair while Shatterbird belittled them. Mimi sulked because whenever there wasn't a fire, she was sad all the time.

They weren't a family.

They were monsters.

She'd become a monster and she shouldn't be sitting here doing nothing. Blinking the tears away didn't help her sudden blindness. Shutting off the tear ducts with her brain did because what had she done to herself? What had she done to all those people? Why did it bother her now when she'd always been able to ignore the pain before?

Taylor did something.

Riley couldn't bring herself to care. She should be… She should be something. Anything. In jail. On trial. Punished. Killed. Anything but left with nothing to do but sit and wonder what was supposed to happen next.

"Scary isn't it?"

A small girl her age walked up beside her. She wore glasses and cradled the white Haro in her arms. Her hair was short and brown, and her face rounded.

"What?" Riley asked.

"Not knowing what happens next. It's scary, right?"

She recognized the voice. "You're Forecast."

"You can call me Dinah."

Dinah. "Don't you see the future?"

"Not really. No one sees the future."

Riley raised her brow.

Dinah shrugged in response. "It's all just calculation in the end. A very educated guess I get to see. Alternatively, if I told you you'd get hit by a car today, what would you do?"

"Stay away from the street I guess." Or not.

The girl went over to a couch and sat. "You could ignore my warning. You could welcome it. In the end, it's all up to you. So I don't see the future. I just get a sneak peek at choices people might make, and how they can turn out."

Riley still didn't think that was how it worked. Seemed like playing with words and stuff. Making them mean something other than what they meant.

"You beat Jack."

"I blindsided Jack," Dinah replied. "I wouldn't say I beat him. If Veda and I hadn't been so reckless, it probably wouldn't have worked."

Jack would have known she was practically killing herself. He wanted to know why she'd do that. Figure out what the game was.

"You beat him," Riley affirmed.

"Maybe. Feeling better?"

No.

Dinah waited like Taylor had.

"What do you want from me?"

She couldn't stand this. She needed to know. What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to live with all of this?

"Not sure it matters what we want," Dinah replied. "It matters what you want."

They were all insane.

"She'll do it, you know."

Riley pulled the blanket tighter over her shoulders. She got her head under the top of it, making a hood she could hide in. She hadn't done that in a long time. Not since Christi.

"Do what?" Riley asked.

"Kill you. If you start acting like Bonesaw again. She won't like it. She'll hate herself for it. But she'll do it."

Riley scoffed. "Thought you didn't see the future."

"I don't." Dinah turned her head toward the TV. "I know Taylor."

…This wasn't like the Nine. "I see."

"I'm going to make a deal with you, Riley."

That got her to poke her head out from under her hood. "You made Jack a deal."

"There was no way to save Jack." The girl frowned. "He'd been in the dark for too long."

"Okay…"

"There is a way to save you."

Oh. "You want me to ask you a question." She said it as a statement because it was kind of obvious. One didn't live with Jack Slash for most of her life without learning to think.

Oh god most of her life.

Had it really been that—

"I'm going to peek on you," Dinah explained. "And if the possibilities where you go back to being Bonesaw ever become more than half of what I see, I'll kill you."

Riley's eyes widened.

Dinah stared into them without blinking. "Taylor will beat herself up if she has to do it. I won't."

She beat Jack.

Riley tried to beat Jack. She tried to get ahead of him. Tried to beat him. She fell for his trap.

Every trick she used, every clever solution. All of it just mutilated them more. Mommy. Daddy. Christi. Everything she did to try and save their lives did nothing but go into Jack and the rest of the Nine. He used them, and he used her.

Jack always got his way.

Until now.

Maybe those boys fired the guns and did all the lifting. Riley knew the truth though. It was the smart capes who were the most dangerous. The thinkers.

Dinah beat Jack.

If she said she could do something, she could do it.

"Okay."

"Good. Think about that for a sec."

Think…

She wasn't dead right now. "Fifty percent?"

"Fifty percent," Dinah reiterated firmly.

Riley could question if maybe Dinah was lying…but, "What if that never happens?"

"I don't know." Dinah turned her attention to the screen. "I like watching crappy movies."