I sat silently in my chair at the island counter, waiting for Posy to ring the doorbell. I really needed to visit Mrs. Everdeen today to get something to help me sleep. Anything to help me sleep. I sighed and brushed a hand over the top of my hair. It was pulled messily into a low bun- I hadn't even had the energy to brush it first.
The doorbell rang and I forced myself out of my seat. It felt like I was trudging through molasses as I walked to the door and watched my hand reach out and turn the knob.
Posy's smile fell when she saw me. "Are you ok?" She asked.
I forced a smile for her. "Just tired."
"Maybe this isn't a good idea today," Gale said. I briefly glanced at him, still embarrassed he had caught me crying in his mother's arms the night before.
"I'm fine; really." If Posy didn't stay, I'd be alone all day with nothing but my thoughts to keep me occupied, and that's what I normally avoided as much as possible.
He hesitated for a moment before telling Posy to head inside. I told her I'd meet her at the piano, figuring he wanted to talk. So I shut the door behind me and braced for what he had to say.
"Why are you doing this?" He asked.
"Teaching Posy piano?" I asked back.
He sighed in frustration. "Spending so much time with her. She's getting attached. It's not good for her."
"Well, I'm not going to be the one to tell her to stay home; I've never been able to say no to kids."
"If I tell her," he nearly growled, "she's only going to want to come more. Tell her you don't want her over anymore, or that you've got too much on your plate, I don't care."
I frowned and crossed my arms. "One, I'm not going to lie to her face, and two, she's smart enough to see through it, anyways."
"Why do you have to be so difficult about this? I don't want you spending so much time with Posy, it's not good for her."
"And why's that?" I shot back, feeling irritated. If he wanted to boss people around, then he should do it himself instead of making other people lie for him.
"Because you're not going to be around forever! She needs to grow up and realize that she needs friends her own age, and you're definitely not her sister."
"I never said I was," I replied. "But it's perfectly fine for her to have someone to look up to-"
"She can look up to my mother, if she needs a womanly figurehead so badly."
"And I'm sure she does; your mother is a wonderful woman. But it's not the same as finding someone on your own, someone who isn't obligated to take care of you."
He bared his teeth at me. "Fine. But when you break her heart, you'll have to answer to me."
"I'm not going to break her heart," I said. He shook his head and turned away.
"Whatever," he said, stomping down my stairs and away from the house.
I rolled my eyes and went back inside, only to find Posy waiting on the bottom stair. Her olive cheeks darkened.
I raised a brow at her. "Were you eavesdropping?" I asked.
She looked down at her feet. "Sorry. But he was stewing all morning, and I wanted to know why."
I sighed. "It wasn't obvious? It seems he's always angry at me."
Posy gave me a sad look. "He just needs time. He'll see, I know he will."
I walked over and sat next to her on the stairs. "Posy, I think he's partially right. I don't want you to get too attached to me. Your brother is a stubborn man, but he knows what he wants and what he doesn't. You can't keep your hopes up that something will change."
Tears brimmed in her grey eyes. "But why can't he just see? You've been nothing but kind and selfless, and you love him! It's not fair that he doesn't love you back!"
"Now, don't get like that. It's completely fair for him to have his own feelings. People don't just do what we want them to because we have feelings for them. Life's hard like that, but we all have to find a way to move on."
"Are you going to move on?" Posy whispered.
I sighed and leaned my head back against the wall. "It's hard to tell. You never know what life will throw your way. But don't worry, I'll always be here for you, ok?"
Posy let out a relieved noise. "Alright."
"Come on, let's go see the Everdeens real quick," I said, pushing myself up and holding a hand out to her. She took it with a small smile.
The Victory Tour was a disaster. Not only had Katniss and Haymitch not told us about Snow's visit, but she'd only fed the desire for rebellion in District 11. By the time we had all returned home, it was with a dour sense of foreboding. And it only got worse after the Harvest Festival.
Posy was home sick, so she wasn't coming over that day. I was sitting in my living room with the curtains open, mindlessly tuning out some Capital show on the televisor when I saw them.
With a gasp I jumped from my chair, blanket falling forgotten to the floor, and ran out the door.
"What happened?" I cried, rushing to the others holding the plank of wood with Gale's bloody body limp on top. "Oh my God..."
"Got caught with game. New head whipped him," Haymitch grunted as Katniss's mother opened the door for them.
Once we're all inside, Mrs. Everdeen was in full motion, ordering Prim to grab things she needed as she started to work on Gale's back. It was a bloody mess, worse than things I had seen in the shop.
"There's a new head Peacekeeper?" I asked, my eyes unable to stray from Gale. Haymitch grunted in response.
"Did it cut your eye?" Mrs. Everdeen asked and suddenly I was able to break out of my trance and glance at Katniss, who's left side of her face was swollen shut.
"No, it's just swelled shut," she said.
"Get more snow on it," the older woman instructed. But Katniss was clearly not a priority.
"Can you save him?" She asked her mother. She said nothing as she wrung out the cloth and held it in the air to cool somewhat.
"Don't worry," said Haymitch. "Used to be a lot of whipping before Cray. She's the one we took them to."
A breath of relief whooshed out of me, one I didn't even know I'd been holding. Hazelle arrived shortly after, taking a seat beside Gale, holding his hand. He woke when the final bandages were being laid, and I cringed at his hiss of pain. I overheard Prim and her mother talking about an herbal pain killer he can take by mouth when Katniss cut in.
"That won't be enough," she said. They turned to stare at her. "That won't be enough, I know how it feels. That will barely knock out a headache."
"We'll combine it with sleep syrup, Katniss, and he'll manage it. The herbs are more for the inflammation—" her mother began calmly.
"Just give him the medicine!" She screamed at her, causing me to jump. "Give it to him! Who are you, anyway, to decide how much pain he can stand!" At that, Gale began to really stir, causing fresh blood to seep through his bandages.
"Get her out," Mrs. Everdeen instructed. I watched as Peeta and Haymitch forcibly carried Katniss from the room and up the stairs.
Hazelle's worried eyes met mine. "Are you alright?" She asked.
"Me?" I asked incredulously. "What do you mean-"
"With all the blood?" She clarified.
My eyes darted back to Gale's ragged back. "Oh. I- I hadn't..." I took a deep breath. "No. I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" She asked. I gave her a firm nod. I knew Gale wouldn't care that I was here- in fact he'd probably be annoyed by my presence- but I was going to stay until I knew he was better. If not for my own piece of mind then to comfort Hazelle.
I walked slowly to her side, trying not to look too closely at his wounds, and took her other hand. She sniffled and I gave her hand a squeeze.
"It'll be ok," I whispered. I wasn't sure if I was trying to reassure her or myself, but at this point I figured it was both.