Set the night before S23e89 'With Good Grace' based on Mickey's comment to Mia "Sorry as well, about last night. My head was bangin'"
It had been over two months since Mickey last had sex.
Not that he was counting. It was just easy to postmark a day when you got arrested for rape.
So, curled up with Mia on her sofa, as the kisses lingered and became more explorative, his body was eager.
His heart was thumping in his chest.
Mia's hand was edging its way south, past his shirt, unlooping his belt.
He let out a soft gasp as she touched him.
Too fast.
All too fast.
All jumbled up in his head as Mia's hand moved.
There was Jenny and Steph and Liz and Kate and Mia and all those girls in between.
Clubs and pubs and toilets, and strange beds and alleyways and backs of cabs
Stumbling, drunken flings that meant nothing.
Just dirty, hazy mouths and hands, and noises
And his body was reacting, but his mind was elsewhere.
In the warehouse that shadowed it all and he had to prove he was still a man, didn't he?
That sex was his choice, but that sex didn't mean anything, not really.
Because if it meant something then what the hell was between him and Delaney?
So, no it meant nothing.
Just bodies, and fluids and no emotions attached because sex wasn't feelings.
Because if it was feelings then it was fear and it was terror doused in tears and blood.
It was a frantic, sobbing, sweating no.
It was pain to be inflicted, to be exchanged between two people.
It was rough.
It was risky.
It hurt.
But he wanted sex with Mia to be something different.
God, he wanted security and sweetness and gentleness.
Lo-
Lots of feelings.
He didn't want it to be ruined.
He wanted it to be normal.
"This is okay, isn't it?"
Mia was staring at him, worried.
"You know what? I don't feel very well."
He started tucking his shirt back into his jeans.
"Look Mickey, I didn't mean-"
"Nah, it's been a long day, work, you know, my head's killin' me."
He babbled as he fumbled with the belt buckle.
"It's not you."
He lurched and grabbed his trainers.
"I'll see you tomorrow yeah?"
He kissed her quickly on the cheek and rose swiftly.
"Another time?"
Mia looked at him, he could see she was hurt. Confused.
But she nodded.
"I'll see meself out."
The door slammed shut behind him and he let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding,
It misted on the cold night air.
Next time.
Next time he'd be ready.