Xander heard the familiar putt-putt of Giles' 'classic' car and opened the gate, closing it after the car had passed him.
Giles pulled into a parking spot and got out, followed by Buffy carrying half a dozen pizzas and Willow carrying a rat cage.
"You said it was important?" Giles asked.
"Yes, but I didn't expect Buffy and Rosenberg," Xander said.
"Rosenberg?" Buffy asked as Willow had frozen and didn't look to be up to asking.
"Two Willows makes things a little confusing," Xander explained.
"Then why not call the other Willow, Rosenberg?" Buffy suggested.
"Because her last name would be Harris," Xander replied before he turned back to Giles. "Watch this." Xander pulled up his baggy shirt to reveal a six pack.
"You were not that built yesterday," Giles noted as the girls stared.
"In the Poke world we died facing down a living nightmare," Xander said.
"We?" Giles asked, wondering why he was changing the subject.
"Me and you," Xander said.
"Where was I?" Buffy demanded.
"Different world Buffy, Giles hadn't even met you," Xander said, not quite sure if it was true.
"That's how you died in the other world?" Giles asked, trying to get things back on track.
"That's how we died," Xander said. "We pulled off the impossible and our alphas covered for our deaths and collected the rewards. Part of that reward was something called a Hero Medal. It's a solid coin composed of nanites tailored to our DNA that is going to restore your hair and give you perfect vision."
"And you've used yours to turn into beefcake," Buffy noted in disbelief.
"That's what it does, it fixes what ails you," Xander said.
"And the pizzas are because I'm going to be hungry?" Giles guessed.
"Why did we need to bring Amy?" Willow butted in, weirded out by the thought of Giles in a speedo doing bodybuilder poses.
"Because I talked to Willow and it turns out that one of the first things their magic users learn is to break spells," Xander explained.
"With magic being much more open, practical spell use would have advanced quite a bit," Giles realized.
"Exactly," Xander agreed. "Now, as I'm sure Faith told you, it turns out Willow didn't come alone last night."
"Why would Faith have known that?" Willow demanded.
"And how would she know?" Buffy added.
"She didn't say anything?" Xander asked surprised. "Oh well, follow me I'll tell you while we walk." He opened the door.
"I'm not sure I want to go in there," Willow said nervously.
"You guys don't need to come along," Xander assured them, "this isn't Slayer related or I would have invited you and have held it elsewhere."
"It sounds Slayer related," Buffy pointed out, "after all Faith was involved."
"Oh right," Xander said. "Ok, that part was Slayer related. I'll tell you that part here, so you get all the Slayer related stuff."
"What about the rest?" Buffy asked.
"That's my personal life," Xander said with a shrug. "You can badger Giles for it later."
Giles sighed.
"Anyway, Me and Willow went home and while we were talking, I heard some people downstairs," Xander explained. "Somehow a dozen vampires managed to get in."
"Faith showed up and took care of a dozen vamps?" Buffy asked in disbelief.
"No, remember those balls that Willow was carrying?" Xander asked. "Each one was made to hold a Pokegirl using some weird digitizing technology that heals them and keeps them in stasis."
"Are there seven Willows in there?" Buffy asked in shock, gesturing towards the building.
"No," Xander said imagining such a thing and smiling for a moment before shaking it off. "One of the balls was Willow's personal ball and the others held completely different girls."
"So, there's half a dozen Pokegirls in there," Buffy said.
"No, now let me finish my story," Xander said, giving Buffy the hairy eyeball.
"Sorry," Buffy said, "but I got distracted and upset at the thought of you facing a dozen vamps."
Xander gave her a smile before continuing his story, "So, Willow released Cordite, a bunny girl that dusted the vamps and sliced up Faith, who had followed them in."
"Is Faith ok?" Giles asked.
"Completely healed," Xander promised. "Cordite had no way of knowing Faith was a friend and stopped toying with her when I identified her. Willow had some healing tech that might as well be magic, that she used to heal her right up. I'd thought Faith would have told you guys last night, but I guess it was getting pretty late."
"Any idea how the vampires gained entry?" Giles asked.
"Not a clue," Xander said. "Faith confirmed we hadn't gotten a welcome mat and she hadn't seen anyone invite them in either."
"Something else we'll have to research," Giles said.
"And that's the end of the Slayer stuff," Xander said. "Giles grab the pizzas and let's go."
"Can we come too?" Buffy asked once Willow gave her a look.
"I don't really have anything against it, but I also don't want to torment Rosenberg by bringing her inside," Xander said.
"Please don't call me Rosenberg," Willow asked, her chest aching every time he said it in reference to her.
"Red?" Xander offered.
"That will do," Willow said, unhappy but less pained.
"OK, well anyway we are going in and I don't want to upset anyone," Xander said.
"I can handle it," Red said forcing herself to open the door and step inside, everyone else following her. "Hey, where did the stupid head robot go?"
"I melted it to slag piece by piece, doused everything with holy water, and buried it under a church," Xander replied as he led them through the plant.
"Very thorough," Giles complimented him.
Buffy noticed Red perked up on hearing what Xander had done. "And Cordite was tough enough to toy with Faith?"
"Without a doubt," Xander said. "Let me tell you Cordite's story so you won't say anything to piss her off. She was born Cordelia Chase and when she went through threshold she turned into a Bunny girl."
He waited for the two girls snicker to stop before continuing, "In some places the family can sell you off or even have you put down." The gasps from the two and the "Good Lord!" from Giles let him know they were taking it seriously now. "The Chases, being upper class in liberal California, were more understanding. They told her she had no right to the Chase name anymore and that they would only provide food and clothing till she was eighteen, then she was to go."
"Pokegirls need more than just food and clothing, don't they?" Giles asked.
"Yes, they need love and affection for one," Xander said.
"Or at least sex?" Buffy suggested.
"Unless they want to be reduced to animals," Xander said, reminding them of how vital it was. "Now the Bunny girl, Cordy was as sweet and kind as can be. I'm told Bunny girls are a bit clumsy and ditzy, but their sweet nature makes up for it. Willow couldn't hold Cordelia's actions against Cordy and she became one of my girls."
"And sweet and ditzy took out a dozen vamps?" Buffy asked in disbelief.
"No, see Pokegirls can evolve just like Pokemon. Bunny girls are kept away from violence and cruelty as much as possible because of one of their possible evolutions."
"Good luck doing that on the Hellmouth," Buffy said.
"Exactly," Xander said. "Cordy evolved into Cordite a Mini-Top."
"A Mini-Top?" Buffy asked in disbelief. "Who comes up with these names?!"
"Some pervert or another," Xander said with a shrug. "Her breasts shrunk to about the size of Willow's, her ears grew to reach her waist, and her ass… is a weapon of mass distraction."
"Back to the important bits," Buffy said, as Xander smiled and his eyes began to lose focus.
"Mini-Tops have a preference for edged weapons and explosives. They are violent and cruel, care little for anyone but their tamer, do not piss one off. That's a direct quote from the Pokedex entry on them. Cordite is not Cordelia and I would suggest not bringing her up around her," Xander warned them.
"Don't piss off Cordite, check," Buffy said.
"Willow you've already met," Xander said, "she's my alpha, basically a field commander and my wife in all but name."
Giles nodded, adding that fact to the picture he was building in his head while Buffy and Red stared at Xander in open mouth shock.
"My next Pokegirl is Amy," Xander said with a chuckle, finding the over enthusiastic Witch adorable. "Amy is a Witch, a Pokegirl Witch, which means she's stronger in the mojo then a normal human, will insist on wearing a magical outfit of her own design and throws herself fully into everything she does. She's nice and friendly and you should have no problems with her."
"No animalistic features?" Giles asked.
"None," Xander confirmed. "Next we have Marcie, she is a tiger striped Catgirl called a Cheshire."
"Inviso-girl Marcie?" Buffy asked.
"Inviso-girl Marcie," Xander agreed. "The universe has a sense of humor, in their world she became a Cheshire, which allows her to sneak about invisibly at will. She's good natured and likes to play pranks."
"A worse world but a happier ending," Buffy said shaking her head.
"The final member of my harem, and yes that's the technical term, is Beth. She's pretty quiet. She's a fighting type and dresses accordingly," Xander explained, not wanting to give away Beth's identity until she decided to tell them herself.
"You have a harem, a literal harem," Buffy said in disbelief.
"Yes," Xander said cheerfully, "but I didn't ask Giles up here to introduce him to them or rather, not only for that reason."
"You mentioned the nanite thing," Buffy reminded him, wondering if there was anything else.
"That's only five girls," Red pointed out. "Was one of the balls empty?"
"No," Xander said, "the final ball was not empty and not mine for that matter. Giles threw his alpha to Willow and told her to make sure she was taken care of. He brought her with him from England, so I doubt we've ever met her."
"What's her name?" Giles asked, thinking of all the women he'd known back home.
"Willow doesn't know," Xander said before laughing.
"What's so funny?" Red asked.
"Apparently they were introduced once and she didn't catch her name and was too embarrassed to ask after so much time had passed," Xander said with a grin as Red groaned.
"I sense a story there," Buffy said noting Red's response.
"It's happened a couple of times when we were younger," Red admitted.
"She'd always get me to ask," Xander said, "since I am harder to embarrass."
"So, you brought me here to introduce to your harem, heal me with nano-technology, and meet my other self's alpha?" Giles asked, quietly amused at the children's behavior.
"Basically," Xander said, as they reached the stairs, "also to break the spell on Amy or at least take some notes on how best to try next time. She's been a rat for a couple of months now and that's gotta suck."
"Quite," Giles agreed as they climbed the stairs, noting how much easier it was for the children as they practically bounced up them compared to his slower pace.
Willow looked up from the Pokedex as the four entered, smiling at Xander in a way that made Red's insides twist.
"I've brought Amy, some pizzas, Giles and a couple of extras," Xander said.
"Tame them later, we have things to do now," Willow ordered, laughing as the three stammered denials and blushed heavily. She tossed a gray ball with faint silver sigils inscribed on it to Giles. "All you have to do is push the button and toss it into an area with enough space to release its occupant. It's traditional to call out the Pokegirl's name if they have one, and say 'I choose you', but it's not required."
Giles examined the sigils on the ball. "It's hard to believe you can contain someone in such a device."
"Everything is a wonder until you start doing it daily," Willow said, "except sex with Xander, that is still fantastic."
Xander blushed as she came up and kissed him, a huge smile on his face.
"I think I'll forgo that pleasure if it's all the same to you," Giles said dryly, amused at the faces the children made in response.
"Actually, let's use the Hero Medal on you first, so it's easier for your alpha to recognize you," Willow suggested. "The glasses and lack of hair threw me and she's going to be upset enough at your analogues' death."
"The Hero Medal," Giles said thoughtfully. "Xander said it was… tailored nanites?"
"Microscopic machines that repair all the cellular damage you've obtained and enhances your physiology to its maximum capacity," Willow said, holding up a gold coin. "It's the closest thing science has developed to a fountain of youth."
"It has been extensively tested?" Giles asked as he looked at it doubtfully.
"By the United States Food and Drug Administration," Willow assured him. "It's called a Hero's Medal because they are really expensive but are routinely awarded to those that have performed heroic deeds to encourage others to do the same."
Giles held out his hand to examine it and Willow placed it in his palm, pressing the center of the coin and causing it to melt into his skin, much to his shock as gold threads flowed over him, erasing scars and liver spots, hair sprouting and darkening. His sight grew blurry and he took off his glasses, surprised to find everything snapping into sharp focus.
"Wow," Buffy said in awe.
"Now you look like the Giles I knew," Willow said with some satisfaction.
"Good lord," Giles said, wincing and loosening his suddenly tight clothes, his stomach gurgling with hunger. He practically pounced on the pizzas as Buffy set them on the table.
"I think he wanted to inspect it first," Red noted.
"Nanite technology is so far beyond what he knows that it would be pointless, besides you'd need an electron microscope to see any details," Willow replied. "I will apologize for misreading your intentions though."
"That's quite all right," Giles said, grabbing a jar and downing it. "Good stuff."
"It's not too strong?" Willow asked.
Giles sniffed the jar and took another sip. "No, a bit bracing and quite mellow."
"Where we're from its considered strong enough to kill a human," Willow said in disbelief.
"He's British," Buffy said with a shrug which Giles rolled his eyes at, busy starting on his second pizza.
"It has to be the latest generation of nanites," Willow said, "there was probably a resist poison upgrade I missed. I'll have to consult the Pokedex for the details." She turned towards Red. "You brought Amy?"
Red set the cage containing the rat on the table. "She was calling on Hecate and the spell was reflected back on her."
"It was probably meant to wear off after a while, but this being the Hellmouth…" Willow sighed. "Xander can you wake Amy?"
"Sure," Xander replied. He walked over to one of the sofas facing the TV and leaned over the back of it. "Amy," he said gently stroking her hair.
A pair of arms reached up and pulled him down and the sounds of two people wrestling around on the sofa could be heard until a female burst out laughing. "Uncle!" she cried out.
Xander got up and straightened up his clothes. "Good thing I read up on your weaknesses or I'd end up sticky with you asleep once more and no one to help your poor analogue who has been stuck as a rat for the last couple of months."
"My analogue?" Amy asked curiously as she got up, revealing she was naked.
"Yes, your analogue," Xander said. "If you hadn't insisted on a taming as soon as you got out of your ball, you'd know this already." He kissed the end of her nose to let her know he was teasing her and not upset. "Willow made it to another world where there are no Pokegirls and I am still alive."
"No Pokegirls?" Amy asked in shock.
"And no laws making them second class citizens or requiring they be bound to anyone," Xander told her. "But that's something for the future, for now we have your fully human but still a witch self, trapped in rat form."
"Clothes," Buffy requested urgently.
Amy rolled her eyes but waved a hand summoning her clothes to her and putting them on. "So… my local self is a witch too?" she asked eagerly.
"Card carrying from a long line of witches," Xander said, "or at least your mother was one as well here."
Amy zipped across the room to where Willow was examining a small rat in a cage. "Hi, Me!"
"You've been having sex with them?" Red asked in shock.
Xander looked at Red and then ignored her, making her wince as she realized she didn't have a right to ask that question.
"I'll introduce you to the others when they feel up to it," Xander said, "they've had a tough time of it and need their rest."
"I suppose it's time to meet my other's alpha then," Giles said cheerfully trying to break the sudden tension.
"Me and Willow have an informal bet that it'll turn out to be someone I know, since all the others were, even if she is from England. That probably means Gwendolyn Price," he said thoughtfully.
"Not her again." Buffy groaned.
"This one was bound to Giles and lived a different life," Xander reminded her, "so she probably didn't go all darkside."
"Alright, then here goes nothing," Giles said pushing the button and tossing the ball in front of himself. "You, I choose," Giles said formally.
In a burst of light a black furred Catgirl appeared dressed in a female stage magicians outfit. Her eyes snapped to his and they stepped towards one another with matching looks of joy and wonder.
Everyone stopped what they were doing, those that were sleeping waking up and turning to look at the pair, as they embraced.
"Recognition," Willow said in wonder, the strength of the bond between the two something even the Psi-blind would have been able to feel.
"Miss Calendar," Xander with a wide smile as the two kissed.
Typing by: fyrewolf5
TN: Yay! Happiness for Giles.