"Next… we heard about second hand," Xander said. "Anyanka the patron saint of scorned women, a vengeance demon, granted Cordelia's wish that Buffy had never come to Sunnydale. Giles was still here and between the two of them they destroyed her necklace undoing the wish. Only Cordelia remembers it and Giles had a 'devil of a time' getting all the details from her for his journal. Anyanka is now powerless and human. She's a student name Anya Jenkins. She was a witch centuries ago, so she knows a lot about magic and Giles says that while she doesn't like men she does like money, so if you need her help be prepared to pay her."
"Um," Red said nervously. "Anya, new student, blonde?"
"That's the puppy," Xander agreed.
"And if she got her necklace back, she'd be a demon again?" Red asked.
"A very powerful one," Xander said. "Wait? Was that who you were helping?"
"Yeah…" Red admitted.
"No helping people become powerful demons," Buffy told her. "Bad Willow."
"And moving right along… Christmas was nice, we had snow," Xander said.
"And," Buffy said.
"What and?" Xander asked.
"And something called the First Evil tried to drive Angel to suicide and only the snowstorm protected him from the rising sun, it was a miracle," Buffy said.
"No, that was just the weather," Marcie said. "We had snow too. We made snowmen and our alpha stayed in bed and told everyone to fuck off."
Willow wrinkled her nose. "You know what you get with snow? Polar bears! And I just didn't feel like dealing with them."
The Sunnydale crew laughed.
"Actually, we did end up dealing with polar bears," Amy said. "I think it was an illegal cloning lab that accidentally let loose five half grown polar bears and about a hundred penguins."
"The polar bears were rounded up and taken to the zoo while we were tasked with dealing with the penguins," Cordite said.
"They tasted like chicken," Marcie said cheerfully.
"You ate the penguins?!" Red and Buffy exclaimed in horror.
"Not all of them," Cordite said, "just a dozen or so."
"I spent my Christmas here," Xander said. "I hooked up my VCR to the one of the TVs and watched Christmas specials, including the infamous Star Wars one from 1978."
Willow and Cordite exchanged glances, the idea of Xander being alone, much less on a holiday so strange as to be incomprehensible.
"I think we'll buy this place," Willow said, "it's pretty cozy and has room to build stuff."
"Can we put in a gun range?" Cordite asked, as she considered them making their home here and some of the differences between the two worlds.
"Maybe in one of the basements," Xander said.
"So, what happened next?" Amy asked.
"The papers started showing articles about two young children being killed by occultists and the town organized a witch burning," Red said with a frown.
"They were being manipulated and controlled by a demon," Xander reminded her.
"Hansel and Gretel turned out to be a demon," Buffy said. "Amy accidentally turned herself into a rat and I staked it with the pole they tied me to."
"Once it was dead everyone returned to normal," Xander said, "and repressed everything."
"Giles sent away for some books that would help us de-rat Amy, but being rare and expensive we are still waiting for them," Red said.
"The Watchers Council isn't as helpful as you'd think," Buffy said with a frown.
"For Buffy's eighteenth birthday they stripped her of her power, kidnapped her mom, and locked her in a house with an insane master vamp," Xander explained.
"You're shitting me," Cordite said flatly, eyes narrowed.
"I shit you not," Xander said. "They claim it's to test a slayer and prove she has what it takes, but really it's to keep the slayer from getting too powerful, weaken the bond between the slayer and her watcher, and make sure the watcher is more loyal to the council than the slayer."
"How do you figure?" Buffy asked.
"They make the watcher drug his slayer or they remove him," Xander explained, "so his choices are obey the council or not be able to assist his slayer at all and either choice puts him further under the council's control. Giles told me to keep a close eye on you and not let you patrol alone while he redoubled your training to make sure you could fight without your powers."
"That's why you insisted on going on patrol with me?" Buffy asked.
"Just like when you were sick," Xander reminded her.
"Oh," Buffy said, looking embarrassed.
"The council stacks the deck by not using just any vampire, but one that has a good chance of killing the slayer at full power, causing another slayer to be called who is young and controllable," Xander finished.
"That's awful," Willow said, all the girls chiming in their agreement.
"Yeah, the council itself is split on the matter with Travers, the asshole in charge, being the one who decide on bringing it back, since no slayer had gone through it in over eighty years," Xander said.
"How do you know so much about it?" Buffy asked.
"Because Giles is a talkative drunk," Xander said, "and everyone needs someone they can unload to."
"Oh," Buffy said quietly.
"Next?" Willow asked.
"Blue demon girls trying to open the Hellmouth," Buffy said.
"Mayor took care of that," Cordite said with a grin. "Well… he took care of making sure it closed again anyway. Our librarian took care of the demons who made the mistake of kidnapping Flutie to try and get free access to the Hellmouth."
Willow shuddered. "There were bits of them everywhere! We were tasked with cleaning up."
"I am so glad Xander made us practice so many cleaning spells," Amy said. "It made things go a lot faster."
"We took care of the blue girls and Giles and Willow closed the Hellmouth," Buffy said. "Cordelia did pretty well and I was really glad we had Faith on hand."
"What were you up to?" Willow asked Xander, sensing something through their bond.
"He wasn't there," Buffy said. "We needed a little less drama, so I told him it was too dangerous, to give everyone time to cool down."
"He gave Faith a 'ride," Red said sourly then tried to pretend she hadn't said anything.
"She was almost late," Buffy complained.
"I'd have had to finish for that to be a danger," Xander said.
"I think you're having two different conversations," Oz noted.
"Xander had sex with Faith," Red said bluntly.
"The entire thing lasted fifteen seconds," Xander said with a snort, "it was hardly sex."
"I hear that happens to a lot of guys the first time," Buffy offered awkwardly.
"Seriously?" Xander asked surprised.
"I think you're having two different conversations again," Oz said.
"What happened?" Willow asked Xander.
"I saw Faith losing to a pair of the blue girls-" Xander began.
"She's a slayer," Buffy interrupted, "I'm sure she was just luring them in."
"Shut it or I'm going to break both your arms," Cordite said with a glare, responding to Xander's irritation.
Willow pulled a jar of alcohol out of her backpack and passed it to Cordite.
"Go ahead Buffy, tell us all exactly what happened," Xander said mock cheerfully.
Buffy winced realizing she'd stepped in it. "I wasn't there," Buffy admitted, "it's just… slayer."
Xander sighed. "Faith was losing badly, one of them had gotten in a lucky shot and dislocated one of her arms. The two of them were working together to wear her down and she was flagging. So, I rammed them with my car, making it easy for Faith to take care of them."
"You hit them with a car?" Red asked in disbelief.
"Detroit steel trumps demonic flesh," Xander replied. "She asks for a ride to her hotel where I helped bandage her up and put her arm back in the socket. Next thing I know she's pushing me towards the bed saying she'd steer me around the curves." Xander sighed heavily. "Less than a minute later I'm standing outside with my clothes in my arms and a raging hard on."
"She lasted fifteen seconds," Human Amy said in surprise.
"If that's sex, then walking into someone from behind constitutes a lap dance," Xander said. "Slayer sensitivity has its downsides I guess."
"Whoa!" Buffy said. "Slayer sensitivity does not work like that! I had sex and it lasted quite some time. I didn't time it, but it was at least an hour."
"Oh, thank god," Beth muttered.
"I would not suggest bringing it up around her," Xander said, "I think it really embarrassed her because she acts kinda nervous around me now and I'd like her to go back to her normal self."
"She accidentally killed a guy the next week, I think that has more to do with her nervousness," Buffy said.
"Good point," Xander said. "Somehow the deputy mayor ended up getting between Buffy and Faith in the middle of a stake fest and Buffy tossed him to Faith who staked him on reflex."
"Xander!" Red exclaimed not liking how that painted Buffy.
"No, he's right," Buffy said, "neither one of us had time to realize he was human."
"Why was he there?" Willow asked. "I mean our deputy mayor didn't run around in the middle of the night and we don't have a vampire problem."
"No idea and we can't ask him," Buffy said with a sigh.
"Ask the mayor," Cordite suggested.
"He's not in the know and that would give them evidence that Faith killed him," Xander said.
"There was the blubber demon and the vamps in armor," Red reminded them changing the topic to one that was less depressing. "How about you guys?"
"After we dealt with cleaning up the blue girls, we took Samantha to the nursery as it was time to turn her over… and the Widow attacked," Willow said climbing onto Xander's lap and burying her face in his chest, Cordite gripping them both tightly and the other girls moving over to do the same. "It gets a little fuzzy after that."
"I'm here, love," Xander assured her, "and I'm not going anywhere."
It took a good ten minutes of shared love and affection before the girls resumed their seats.
"I guess the last thing here was Red trying to help Anyanka regain her power and summoning Willow instead," Xander joked.
"We'll have to do something nice for her," Willow said.
"Like cure her boyfriend of lycanthropy?" Cordite suggested with a smirk.
"I was thinking more of an increase in breast size and a Hero Medal," Willow said.
"Anything you want," Xander promised.
"So, we're all caught up now," Buffy said awkwardly. "Think Giles is done?"
"Really doubtful," Amy said, "though someone may want to make them drink some water."
"I'll take care of it," Marcie said, fading from sight.
"You can really increase breast size?" Buffy asked, thinking they could make billions on that alone.
"Use a Hero Medal first," Willow said, "because you'll want to see how much you have to work with before you decide."
"I don't think we have any pizza left," Buffy said.
"We have plenty of food bars," Willow said, "pizza just tastes better."
"I'll get it," Cordite said, picking up the backpack and grabbing herself another jar of booze before using the Pokedex to figure out which Hero Medal to give them, as all the different upgrades that provided additional defenses against Pokegirl attacks weren't needed… and she didn't want shared outside the harem, just in case.
Red chewed on the food bar while Cordite located the right Medal. "This isn't too bad."
"It is if you have an enhanced sense of taste," Cordite said, "well not bad, more bland."
"I won't end up with increased sensitivity, will I?" Red asked nervously.
Buffy groaned. "It's not like that."
"I have increased sensitivity and it's awesome!" Amy said.
"Yes, but you still last at least half an hour before passing out," Xander told her.
"Literal pass out or fall asleep?" Buffy asked curiously.
"Pass out," Xander replied.
"Here," Cordite said sliding a Hero Medal to Red.
"I just put it in my palm and push on it?" Red asked as she did so and it dissolved. "Unhook my bra!" she requested as her form swelled slightly while gaining a full cup size.
Buffy quickly unlatched Red's bra. "Nice muscle tone," she said.
Red winced and took off her shoes with some difficulty. "My clothes still fit, but I'm going to need new bras and shoes."
"Shoes?" Buffy asked nervously, weighing having the upgrades versus having to replace all her shoes.
"If you've been wearing shoes that are too small while growing up it can affect your foot size a bit," Amy explained.
"Red's parents weren't the most attentive," Xander said.
"Gotcha," Buffy said as she ate the food bar. "That's pretty good."
"And here," Cordite said, passing her a gold coin with silver trim and activating it.
Buffy's form grew quite a bit larger, her hair darkening as she expanded, her clothes splitting at the seams until she stood nearly a foot taller. "I'm no longer short!" she cheered as her clothes fell to the floor leaving her in her underwear, which was cutting into her skin. "Eeep!"
"Ah Ha!" Red exclaimed, looking back and forth from Beth to Buffy.
Beth sighed. "I have some clothes that will fit you."
Typing by: fyrewolf5
TN: mwahaha! The luls, just wish Cordite or Willow called Red on her jealousy/what her problem with Xander having sex with Faith was, she tossed him to the side, so even if it had been as much as she thought it was, really not any concern of her's. You don't get to drop someone then complain about what they did when it had nothing to do with you. Should be nice and awkward next chapter when Buffy realizes Beth is her alt, and Red undoubtedly jumps to the conclusion that Xander has already tamed her.
AN: Buffy calling Red, Willow and not Red is intentional. Red is her best friend and will always be Willow to her.