"Harmony?" Xander asked as he helped her to her feet, ignoring the sounds of a vampire pleading for its unlife.
"Xander!" she exclaimed and threw herself into his arms, clutching him tightly.
"Shh, it's okay," he said, rubbing her back. "It was just a vampire and it's gone now."
"Mercy!" screamed a male voice in a range that was much higher than expected.
Harmony just stared at him in stark disbelief.
"I meant he's no longer a threat and he's going to be dust soon," Xander explained trying to make it sound like this was a perfectly normal thing to say.
"Oh," she said, calming down, but making no move to let go of him as she she shivered nervously.
"You made a big mistake when you tried to attack Harmony," Cordite hissed angrily at the lump of crushed flesh that was once a deadly demonic predator.
"Cordelia?" Harmony asked in disbelief, turning her head to see who was mauling the vampire who'd attacked her.
"Cordite," Xander corrected her.
"Cordite?" Harmony repeated, confused. Her eyes widened as she got a good look at the Pokegirl stomping the unfortunate demon. "She's a bunny girl!"
"She is," Xander agreed, deciding not to say anything more as she was dealing with enough already.
"That lucky bitch!"
*POOF*
"Oops," Cordite said, "put a rib through its heart again."
"Guess we'll just have to find another one," Xander said cheerfully.
Harmony pulled herself out of Xander's arms. "You always get all the luck," the blonde whined.
"I get all the luck?" Cordite asked curiously as she looked over Harmony to make sure she was unharmed.
"Yeah," Harmony said. "Everything goes your way and now you've turned into like, the apex predator, a bunny!"
"Bunnies are apex predators?" Xander asked.
"Of course," Harmony said. "They get to look all cute and stuff, but I've seen one disembowel a hawk. Bunnies rule!"
"We do," Cordite said with a toothy grin.
"I can't argue with that," Xander agreed. "Cordite's fighting abilities are almost as impressive as her ass."
Cordite looked offended for a moment before frowning as she wasn't sure how to take the comment. She turned around and looked at her ass. While she did think her ass was one of her best features she was also justifiably proud of her fighting skills.
"Holy crap that ass is awesome," Harmony said wide eyed.
"Exactly," Xander agreed.
"My tits are nothing to write home about," Cordite said gesturing to her chest. She'd lost a couple of cup sizes when she'd gone from Bunny Girl to Mini-Top and was still a bit upset about it.
"You've lost half a cup at most," Harmony said as she stepped into her personal space and felt her up, "and I think they're even firmer now. You are just so perfect!"
"I am," Cordite agreed with a grin.
"I am so jealous," Harmony complained. "How did you become a bunny girl? Can I become one?!"
"She was born a bunny girl," Xander said amused. 'I could see Harmony making Playboy Bunny, maybe.'
"She wasn't one when I saw her earlier," Harmony argued.
"Harmony Kendall, let me introduce you to Cordite Harris," Xander said, "one of my wives."
Cordite looked shocked for a moment but quickly covered it by stretching and looking around to see if there were any more vampires around though she knew there wasn't.
"Wives?" Harmony asked before looking from Xander to Cordite and back again. "Oh my god, you got married! And… converted to Mormons?"
"It's a bit complicated," Xander said. "Cordite is Cordelia from another universe and… can Mormons still have multiple wives?"
"Probably," Harmony said with a shrug, "I haven't really looked into it. You can get away with a lot by claiming it's part of your religion though."
"Well, I'm not an oil baron, so I may have to convert to make things legal," Xander said thoughtfully.
"So… you're not the Cordelia I know but one from another universe where Spock has a goatee?" Harmony asked, taking a closer look at Cordite and reaching up to stroke an ear.
"Pretty much," Cordite agreed, relaxing as Harmony found just the right place to rub.
"Are you an alternate Xander?"
"No, same old Xander," he said.
"Xander wasn't that buff," Harmony said as she looked him over.
"I got a magical makeover," Xander offered.
"You should have gone for bunny guy," Harmony said, "it'd probably help if you have a lot of wives."
"He's got it where he needs it," Cordite said smugly.
Harmony took another look at Xander's crotch, which his almost outgrown jeans did nothing to hide. "You are so lucky," she groaned.
"I've got two rabbit's feet, of course I am," Cordite said, before turning to look off into the darkness. "I need you two to play bait," she ordered. "Lean against a tombstone and makeout."
"Wha-" Xander began before being interrupted by Harmony's tongue.
Cordite moved behind a statue with a grin, pleased that Harmony took directions so well, as it would make it easier to get her tamed; she could tell the girl really needed it.
"Grope me," Harmony ordered Xander, shoving one of his hands up her blouse.
Xander was faintly surprised to find himself obeying as his hormones began to wear away at his dislike of the girl. 'If it makes Cordite happy to get her friend back, I really should play along,' parts of him decided, sliding his unoccupied hand down to pull her lightly against him.
After a few minutes Cordite was surprised to hear a couple of vampires approach and rushed out to crush them before they could distract the pair.
0o0o0o0o0o
"Mom?" Buffy called out as she opened the front door to her house.
"I'm in the kitchen," Joyce called back. "I just started making dinner."
Buffy gestured for Beth to wait in the living room, the front door closing behind them seemingly on its own before she entered the kitchen. "Mom, I've got some things to tell you."
Joyce glanced at her daughter and turned back to the stove before turning back to her daughter and taking a second look. "You're taller…" her voice trailed off not knowing what else to say.
"Among other things," Buffy said nervously. "Uh, I've got some unbelievable stuff to tell you… again."
Joyce stepped closer to her daughter and examined her closely. "Steroids… would only explain a little of this and it'd take weeks. Honey, what's going on?"
"I'm not sure how to explain it," Buffy said, she turned to the door to the livingroom. "Beth, come in please."
Beth entered the kitchen and Joyce's jaw dropped as she looked from one to the other and back again. "Hold on, I need a drink," she decided. Joyce rummaged through the cabinets and had a glass of whiskey in hand in short order. "Okay, continue. Wait, does this have anything to do with vampires?"
"No, but all of that was still true," Buffy said quickly.
"Willow did mention that most people still don't know about vampires," Beth said thinking aloud.
"Or any of the other supernatural stuff," Buffy added. "It's still very much hidden, especially in this town for some reason."
Joyce drank half the glass and braced herself. "Okay, I'm ready."
"Willow accidentally tore a hole in reality and this is me from another world," Buffy said.
"More unbelievable than vampires," Joyce decided, "and how does that connect with your… growth spurt?"
"We used nanite technology to enhance her," Beth offered.
"Alright," Joyce said setting her drink down and turning back to the stove. "I guess I'll need to make enough for three."
"Four," Buffy said.
"You have another sister?!" Joyce exclaimed wide eyed.
"No, no," Buffy waved her hands. "Invisible catgirl, I didn't want to drop it all on you at once."
"Well, thanks for that," Joyce said with a trace of sarcasm before letting out a sigh of relief and continuing with dinner. "Well, I always wanted another daughter anyway." She gave Beth an encouraging smile.
"You're taking this a lot better than my being a vampire slayer," Buffy noted with some surprise.
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof," Joyce replied. "The physical changes you've gone through, along with your sister, make it hard to deny. I may need a few drinks and a cigarette or two to stay calm and accepting, but I'll get there. We are probably going to have more than a few long talks before it sinks in, but I can deal."
"So… no mental ward?" Buffy asked hopefully, recalling what had happened in LA.
"Would you rather have a short stay in a mental ward or five to ten for arson and gross endangerment?" Joyce asked seriously.
Buffy froze for a moment. "Okay, that makes a lot more sense now. Thank you, Mommy."
"Any time dear," Joyce said, "now go set the table."
0o0o0o0o0o
"That's... seriously cool," Oz said.
"It really is," Willow said. "I can tell so much about him and what he's thinking, it really cuts down on miscommunication."
"How far can you sense him?" Red asked.
"No idea," Willow replied. "We haven't been more than a few miles apart since… ever."
"Yeah, that's true," Red said. "There was a science fair in LA where I was supposed to go… but it was canceled. I think the busdriver was attacked by wild dogs, so we couldn't leave in time." She frowned as she realized that probably meant he had been eaten by vampires and she hadn't put it together till this moment.
"So, can you sense him now?" Oz asked.
"Yes," Willow said closing her eyes. "He's… having sex."
"He is with Cordite," Oz said with a nod.
"No… Cordite is killing something, this feels more like Harmony," Willow said with a smile. She opened her eyes. "He's found Harmony."
"He's having sex with Harmony?" Red asked in disbelief. "And you don't mind?"
"No, why would I?" Willow asked. "Harmony is a friend of ours."
"Harmony is… Harmony," Red said. "A total skank and… mean."
"Harmony was the least mean human girl I've ever met," Willow said. "She shouldn't be that different, since both of them are pure human."
"She is," Red said firmly. "She insults everyone and sneers all the time and sleeps around!"
"I've only seen her like that when she hadn't been laid properly in a while," Willow said. "She was dating a guy who was against using nanotech and really sucked in the sack. It didn't last, Cordite drug her to Xander and he straightened her out."
"Xander humped the meanness out of her?" Red asked in disbelief.
Willow gave Red a disgusted look and said, "Not everything is solved with sex. Xander had a long talk with her."
"Oh," Red said embarrassed.
Oz simply raised an eyebrow and Willow burst out laughing.
"Okay, I'm just kidding, the talk was after the sex," Willow admitted. "People are a lot less irritable when they have a satisfying sex life."
"That would explain some of the religious groups I've seen," Oz said thoughtfully. "They always seem to be protesting something."
0o0o0o0o0o
Faith watched through binoculars as the pair of Fyarl demons she sent were ripped apart by the bunny girl. "Damn, she is one tough bitch," she said, her field of view drifting back over to where Xander and some blonde girl were going at it, oblivious of the fighting going on around them. After a few seconds she turned her view back to Cordite who blew her a kiss.
Faith dropped her binoculars and ducked down behind the bush she was using as cover. "She couldn't have seen me," she assured herself, "but she might have seen the bush move and realized someone was here."
Faith grabbed her binoculars and retreated to report to the mayor. It looked like those girls Xander had picked up were going to be more of a problem than she thought.
0o0o0o0o0o
Cordite watched Faith leave with a grin. Xander had some weird friends, but at least they were entertaining. She turned to Xander and Harmony and saw they were finishing up.
"What just happened?" Xander asked as Harmony rested against him and he saw a number of dismembered demon corpses strewn about and numerous piles of dust.
"And can it happen again?" Harmony asked giving Xander a squeeze.
"You helped Harmony recover from a traumatic experience and I got some exercise," Cordite said smugly. "And of course it can happen again, Xander has never turned down a girl in need."
Xander frowned at being volunteered like that, but he could feel the concern Cordite was hiding and looking at Harmony he could see she looked a lot less… Harmony-like with a relaxed smile on her face. "Sure," he agreed, deciding to go along with it for now, after all it was hardly a chore he admitted to himself, "but next time let's do it someplace safer."
"Anyone want some coco?" Harmony asked hopefully. "My treat."
"I could go for a mug," Cordite said, knowing her friend only invited people she wanted to get close to, to drink coco with her.
"Will there be cookies?" Xander asked.
"Big ones," Harmony promised.
"I'm in," Xander assured her.
"Good," she said happily before reluctantly releasing Xander so they could fix their clothes. "There is a great place near the college, we can take my car."
"We reek of sex," Xander warned her.
Harmony shrugged. "I did say it was near the college," she pointed out.
Xander retrieved his dropped stake and decided not to ask, as he didn't want to know what train of logic lead to that statement. 'Why do I suddenly feel sympathy for Giles?' he thought to himself, before the girls each grabbed an arm and lead him off.
Typing by: fyrewolf5
TN: Apex predator bunnies? We're all doomed! Either Harmony has watched Monty Python and The Holy Grail a lot or that was some weird Hellmouth bunny, and possibly where Monty Python got the idea.
TN2: So much plot progress in this chapter, and so much potential for fun. Amusing that Cordite is the only one aware of Faith being potentially evil, but assuming that the locals are most likely aware, since she was probably the one who let the vamps into Xander's place, and Faith still has no idea of who all the girls are nor what they can actually do, just that Cordite is going to be much tougher to beat than a slayer and Willow can set things on fire.
TN3: And Faith is probably regretting how things ended with Xander since she's unlikely to get a repeat or a longer session now with how she ended the first tryst.