AN: Finally done with my class. Haven't gotten my grades yet, but I feel pretty good about it. And more importantly, now I should have time to write on a more regular basis again. This is something I've been plucking away at for a bit, and it's supposed to be a Leni-centric story, though that won't be readily apparent from this first part. I don't have a picture to go with this chapter just yet. I had originally envisioned this being a single chapter, but as I was writing it I realized this was going to require more setup than my previous one-shots, and it started to feel like this might work better as a multi-part, mini-arc sort of thing, which will potentially set up something of a mini-arc for this story as a whole, depending on how well-received it is. Feels like the next chapter might be a better place to bug Hero about drawing something, we'll see. But in the meantime, I guess you'll just have to settle for all the other amazing art he's provided for this little side project of mine.
Anyway, hope you guys enjoy the chapter. Still trying to get back to something resembling my old schedule.
The Loud House, in stark contrast to the chaotic forces that inhabited it, would seem fairly mundane to the casual onlooker. However, this impression only lasted until one noticed the rather imposing mass of metal that had taken up residence in the backyard. Or, as it was more commonly known, Lisa's bunker.
The bunker was as sturdy as it was offputting. Which was by design, as those qualities perfectly suited its owner's needs. The purpose of the structure was twofold. First, to house the more dangerous, and morally ambiguous experiments that Lisa conducted, those which could have disastrous consequences if they were to be disrupted by her unwitting family members. The second was to provide her and her loved ones with shelter in the event of a major crisis. The irony that such a crisis might result from the very experiments housed in her bunker was not lost upon the scientist.
Nevertheless, on this day it was one such experiment that kept the young girl occupied. Deep within her bunker, Lisa sat at her lab station, checking data readouts and looking over her notes. Occasionally, she'd glance over at the clock, to confirm the time. She didn't need to, of course, Lisa's internal clock was impeccable, and once her body reached maturity she fully intended to implant some variety of a much more literal internal clock just to narrow her margin of error even further. But it was helpful to know what other, less disciplined minds believed the time to be. One such as her expected guest, who was supposed to have arrived quite some time ago. Punctuality was important to Lisa. She valued a concise, orderly schedule, and while she tried to accept that other people did not share her values, it irritated her when those people infringed on her time. And Lisa Loud did not like to be irritated.
It was getting to the point where she was beginning to entertain the idea of simply finding herself another test subject, though that would have its own caveats. She had already invested a considerable amount of time and effort in determining the viability of this particular specimen, and if she wanted to keep to her timetable, she simply would not have the time to perform another such search. In all likelihood, a secondary specimen would be of considerably lesser quality, and that didn't sit right with her either.
As Lisa began to weigh the pros and cons of designing some variety of impartial, decision-making robot, one particular light on her workstation began to blink rapidly, emitting a low humming noise in the process. Instinctively, one of her fingers slid over to a large red button labeled "Pain Bots". After a moment of hesitation, her finger slid one row upward, and instead pressed a button marked "Camera One". A nearby monitor turned on, and Lisa let out a small sigh, equal parts relief, and irritation.
"It's about time." She muttered to herself, before thumbing the intercom. "Welcome, Rebecca. Give me just one moment and I'll buzz you in."
"I'm here!" Her guest shouted as she entered the laboratory. Somewhat unnecessarily, seeing as the mere presence of a second voice already implied her arrival.
"I noticed," Lisa replied, entering a few last commands into her terminal before turning her attention to her guest. "All set. Now we can...good Lord, woman! What are you wearing?"
Rebecca Miller, street name "Becky", leaned against the entryway to her lab, posing in a manner that would almost certainly rile up the blood who bore even a passing interest in tall, leggy redheads. The fact that she was dressed in a leopard-print bikini-top and a criminally short loincloth skirt, which collectively only served to emphasize the more than generous genetic bounty with which she had been blessed, only exacerbated matters.
"Do you like it?" She asked, fluttering her eyelashes coquettishly.
"Sadly, my preferences run differently." Lisa deadpanned, rolling her eyes. "But I'm sure any number of hormone stricken-cretins would find you quite tantalizing."
"Thank you," Becky said cheerfully as she straightened up. She took on a more eager expression. "Speaking of which..."
"I believe Lincoln is occupied," Lisa interjected, waggling one finger at the older girl. "And I brought you here to work, not to show off for my distressingly dense sibling."
"I can do both." Becky protested, pouting as she flounced over to Lisa's station.
"Not on my dime." Lisa corrected her, gesturing to a nearby chair she'd set up just for the occasion. As Becky seated herself, her skirt flipped upward, demonstrating quite handily that calling the girl "underclothed" would be a severe understatement.
"I was hoping you'd be dressed a little more...hygienically." She grumbled, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. "I suspect I'll regret asking this, but why are you wearing that?"
"I'm going to a costume party later," Becky responded, crossing one leg over the other. "Wasn't sure I'd have time to go home and change after this."
"Dressed as?"
"Sort of a...I dunno, a sexy cavegirl? Costume stores aren't exactly well-stocked this time of year, I went with what I could scrounge up."
"I applaud your commitment to the role," Lisa said, sourly, turning her attention back to her terminal. "Small mercy that you wore shoes, at least. And I suppose it's better than you wearing that thing here solely for Lincoln's benefit."
"Weeeeeeell, a little from Column A, a little from Column B."
"For the love of Science, woman!" Lisa groaned, slapping one hand on her forehead. "Just tell the boy you're interested already!"
To her surprise, the redhead, normally brimming with self-confidence, shrank down in her seat just a bit. "I'd...prefer to know that he's actually interested before I did something that drastic."
"'Drastic', she says," Lisa muttered, shaking her head. "Indeed. What boy would settle for a girl with curves that border on non-euclidean?"
"After all." She continued, glancing down at herself and frowning. "It's not like he's demonstrated any interest in the alternative."
"Lisa?"
"I'm fine!" Lisa snapped, locking eyes with the older girl. She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath.
"You are fine." She reminded herself, cursing her impatience for the umpteenth time. She was, after all, a literal child. There would come a day when her body's maturity matched that of her mind, and if her mother and eldest siblings were any indication, Lincoln would find her very hard to ignore. Girls like Becky would come and go, Lisa merely needed to bide her time. And if it turned out that nature had failed her, she was more than confident that science would find a way...
"Science," Lisa muttered, shaking her head. "Right."
"Now then." She said, typing one final command into her terminal with a dramatic flourish. "Let us begin the test!"
"Oh...kay." Said Becky, nodding at the still theatrically posed scientist. "You know, I just realized that you still haven't told me what this test involves."
"Because that information is on a need-to-know basis."
Becky adopted a puzzled frown. "Does the tester—"
"Subject. Test subject."
"...Right." Becky nodded again, the movement slightly more rigid this time. "Does the test subject not need to know?"
"You did not." Said Lisa as she reached towards a nearby cluster of buttons and switches. "Until..."
WHAM
Becky started in surprise as the doors to the lab slammed shut. Followed by a second set of doors. Followed by an iron grating that snapped into place, a compact but cohesive laser grid, and finally one last set of doors.
"...Now." Concluded Lisa. Becky looked to the younger girl, then jerked her head towards the now very well secured entryway.
"That's just standard procedure," Lisa replied to the unasked question. "You'd be surprised how often Leni manages to find her way in here at the least opportune times."
"...Yeah, that tracks." Becky agreed after a moment of consideration. "So, what am I doing?"
"Nothing invasive, I assure you." Said Lisa. Before Becky could point out the peculiar phrasing, the young scientist slid out of her chair and began making her way towards the far end of the lab. Mounted on an otherwise innocuous wall, near the ground where it could be accessed by the diminutive scientist, was a small, but very sciencey-looking panel. Placing both of her palms atop the panel with her fingers spread wide, Lisa leaned forward and stared straight ahead. A moment later, two tiny lasers shot out, one going into each of her eyes. After several seconds, the light show ceased, and the machine let out a very pleasant sounding Ding. Lisa then straightened up, removed her hands from the device, and then spat on the panel. Only then did the segment of the wall that panel had been mounted on swing forward, revealing a small, hidden compartment.
"One can't be too careful," Lisa remarked, before leaning forward once more, the top part of her body disappearing into the new opening. When she emerged a few moments later, she was now clutching a small briefcase in her hands.
"Pretty snazzy." Becky opined, her lips quirking upward in a small smile. "But I don't think it'll go very well with my current ensemble."
"Humorous." Said Lisa, as she returned to her seat. "Naturally, the item in question is within the briefcase."
Lisa set the briefcase down on her station and grabbed two opposing corners of the container, clutching them tightly with her tiny fists. Several moments passed, and with the audible sound of air escaping, the briefcase began to slowly open. Curious, Becky tried to get a better view, but the Loud girl had deliberately positioned the case so that the lid would block her view upon opening.
"Are you familiar with S.T.A.R. Labs?" Lisa asked as she reached into a drawer and produced a pair of surgical gloves. She pulled them on and checked their fit before peering into the case, delicately manipulating its contents just outside Becky's view.
"Nnnnooo?" Becky replied. "Should I have?"
"I don't see why you would. But I'm trying to be more sociable, and it is my understanding that the polite thing to do in this case is to entertain the idea, however unlikely, that you might."
"Well, you're doing great." Becky gave the younger girl a thumbs up, trying not to let her bemusement show.
"Thank you." Lisa paused her work to give Becky a slight nod of acknowledgment before returning to the case. Which, from the way Lisa had positioned herself, seemed to be a lot deeper than it appeared to be.
"The Scientific and Technological Advanced Research Laboratories," Lisa continued. "Hence the whimsical acronym. They're ostensibly an extremely prestigious scientific organization."
"You don't sound very convinced."
Again, Lisa paused her work to address Becky, this time with a rare smile on her face. "They've been trying to recruit me for some time now, and without much success, I might add."
"Is their work not up to your standards?"
"That, and they have a fairly draconian policy regarding mid-day naps, which are essential to my process." Unsure as to how serious the science-minded girl was being, Becky settled for nodding noncomittally.
"Even so," Lisa continued. "I have a number of respectable colleagues in their employ, and on occasion, they choose to dabble in things that manage to rouse even my interest."
"That's...nice. So where do I fit in?"
"This case." Lisa gently patted the briefcase exterior for emphasis. "Is one of several sent to me by said colleagues. They contain a number of interesting specimens and oddities that S.T.A.R. has obtained, but failed to elicit any meaningful research from."
"And they want you to...what, poke around and see if you can figure out what they do?"
"Essentially." Lisa nodded in agreement. "Though I'd like to think my process is a bit more involved than that. Regardless, I've asked you here to aid me in testing this particular item."
From the depths of the case, Lisa produced a small box made of some sort of see-through, plastic-like material. Becky leaned over, expecting to see something weird or fantastic.
"Is that...a necklace?" She asked, her brows furrowing in puzzlement. Within the container lay what appeared to be a small, leather cord, adorned with a number of sharp teeth, presumably those of an animal. It didn't look like a scientific curiosity. If anything it looked like it should be in a museum, as part of an exhibit dedicated to some variety of indigenous people.
"Yes. At least, that's what my peers seem to have concluded." Lisa turned the box so Becky could read the label on the top. "DC-WW-9.1: 'Teeth Necklace'", it read.
"Not a very creative bunch, are they?" Becky chuckled.
"It wouldn't appear so. However, while my colleagues have proven utterly incapable of discerning what, if anything this particular sample actually does, they are utterly convinced that it is some variety of magical artifac."
"That sounds a little far-fetched." Becky agreed. "But, there has been an uptick in fantastical happenings around here. What with all the robots and aliens that have been showing up, not to mention those superheroes who keep getting into fights with them—"
"Balderdash." Lisa scoffed. "There's a world of difference between observable and discernable metahuman phenomena, and 'magic'."
"What about Clarke's Third Law?"
"As such." Lisa continued as if Becky hadn't spoken. "I have taken it upon myself to find fact, where my colleagues have been satisfied with fiction. And after subjecting this sample to an extensive battery of tests, I believe I have discerned the most effective way to determine once and for all, what special properties it might possess."
"Which is?"
"Come a little closer and I'll show you."
Becky leaned over expectantly. Lisa undid the safety latch on the container, opened the box with a flick of her wrist. Becky opened her mouth, intending to ask if it was safe to so casually crack open a sealed sample like that, but before she could do so Lisa withdrew the necklace, wrapped it around the older girl's neck, and secured it with an expertly tied knot.
"There," Lisa said, smiling in satisfaction. "The testing begins now."
"L-Lisa!" Becky sputtered, glancing down at the curio that now adorned her collarbone.
"Experimentation is part of the scientific process, Rebecca."
"But isn't it the last part?"
"It is." Lisa agreed. "I have already determined that when it is confined to a small box, the necklace does nothing. Seeing what it does when it's attached to a teenage girl seems like the next logical step."
"You—" Becky cut herself off, one-finger raised with the intention of berating the scientist, as the odd bit of jewelry around her neck began to vibrate, humming softly as it did so. She peered down at the now jittering necklace, unsure if she should leave it be, or tear it off her neck and throw it across the room. Much to her surprise, however, the necklace clamped downward, pressing itself against her exposed skin. Then, much to her amazement, the necklace began to sink, receding downward into her body, passing through her skin as it was made of water. In a matter of moments, it was completely submerged, not even a blemish on her skin to indicate it was there to begin with. Becky looked to Lisa uncertain how to react.
"You see?" Lisa laughed, as she turned to her terminal and began typing furiously. "We're already learning!"
Sometime later, Becky exited the bunker, jumping slightly as the door loudly sealed itself behind her. She gave the imposing structure one last look before giving her head a little shake and starting for her car.
Nothing unusual had happened, other than that one really weird thing. But Lisa had spent the following hours testing her extensively, and as far as the younger girl could discern, there had been no adverse side effects from having a mystical(?) necklace bury itself inside her body. Per the Loud girl's diagnosis, Becky was just as healthy as she ever as. Though she had been asked to make a follow-up visit in a few days, just as a precaution.
Becky felt...uneasy and annoyed. Which she'd felt were perfectly understandable under the circumstances. When she'd agreed to this, she assumed it would be to test makeup, or a new dietary supplement or something. Starring in that little creepshow hadn't even been a remote possibility in her mind. And worst of all, she hadn't even gotten to show Lincoln her costume!
By the time Becky had reached her car, she was beginning to feel a little more positive about the situation. Yes, watching some variety of ancient artifact invade her body had been...disturbing, to say the least, but Lisa was a professional. If she thought Becky was fine, then clearly, there wasn't anything to worry about. Plus, she was getting paid double for the inconvenience of coming back for that follow-up visit. And who knows, maybe Lincoln would be around then...
Feeling a little more cheerful now, Becky opened the driver's side door, slid into her seat...and instantly regretted it. Becky was a tall girl, and while that had a lot of perks her inability to afford a vehicle more accommodating of her dimensions meant that squeezing into her car was just a part of life. Even so, it felt like there was even less leg room than usual. And...was the roof always so...low?