Author's Notes: Thank you all for tuning in to the new chapter of Mr. Big. This story feels like my most reference-heavy PPG fic, which gives me so many opportunities to write quirky scenarios. This chapter isn't what I expected to write when I sat down and started, but I still think it turned out okay. Thank you all for reading, and leave a review if you feel like it :)

Chapter 5

Going Nowhere

Bubbles was almost asleep. It was around 11:30 PM and everything was quiet. Butch and Buttercup had flown back to Monster Island, but were coming back the next day to help continue the investigation into the Saga Cartel. Blossom was back at her college dorm room and had said she wasn't sure if she would be able to do much more for the investigation without any further leads. Bubbles understood that. Blossom had a lot of responsibilities between her school work and saving the day. It was a life that Bubbles didn't miss...most of the time. Sometimes she missed the thrill, but most days her heart ached for the pain she knew she caused as a superhero.

Everything was peaceful and still as the stars twinkled innocuously in the sky through her window, but then that blissful silence was broken when a downstairs window smashed!

Bubbles jolted upright, fearing the worst, and she quickly flew out of her bedroom. She saw the professor had also woke up and was carrying a golf club just in case he had to help fight off an intruder.

Together they snuck down to see if whoever broke their window was inside the house, but there was no one there. They looked outside, but there were no signs of whoever it could have been. They then looked around the house for clues, and the professor found a brick lying on the floor.

"Who would do such a thing?" The professor asked disheartenedly.

"Hm, it looks like there's something tied to the other side," Bubbles noted.

Bubbles took the piece of paper tied to the brick, and when she unfurled it there was a piece of Octi's head and some stuffing! Bubbles gasped in horror, and then saw that there was a short note; written in the same beautiful font as the gold graffiti from the other day. It read: Dear PPG. Sorry about your toy. Won't be sorry when it's you. Love, Mr. Big.

"That monster! He ripped up my Octi!" Bubbles cried out furiously, "He will pay!"

"Try to keep a clear head, Bubbles," The professor replied placatingly, "It's clear this nut job is just trying to torment you."

"How did he know about Octi!?" Bubbles asked angrily, "Who is this guy? It isn't enough he knows where we live, but he seems to know everything about us. About me! Professor, we should probably move you to a hotel until we can find him. You're in danger here."

"Now Bubbles, I'm sure you and your sisters can figure this out before anything too serious happens," Professor replied without concern, "Why, I've seen you take on intergalactic space monsters, cosmic horrors, villainous invasions, and clowns. This is nothing you can't handle."

"That was the old me, Professor," Bubbles moped, "I'm not that naive little girl anymore. I know I have limitations, and I know I screw up. A lot. Mr. Big is trying to hurt us, and that means he'll try to hurt you. I can't put your life in my hands. I just can't. Please, just hide until we can figure this out. For your own safety, please?"

The professor hated seeing his precious little Bubbles doubt herself this way, but he knew one inspiring speech wouldn't change her mind. She had been in a state of borderline depression for years, and there wasn't much he could do about it. All he could do was support her until she was ready to save the day again.

"Alright Bubbles, I'll go. For your peace of mind," The professor said with an assuring smile.

"Thanks, Professor," Bubbles whispered gratefully.

The next day Buttercup and Butch went over what they could do to find out more about the Saga Cartel. The problem with finding anything out was it was a network of criminals that operated in tiers and levels that rarely communicated with anyone higher than them in their station. The Sagas were a well-oiled machine, and most of them wouldn't talk even if they were found out.

"We gotta find this Moose guy," Butch surmised, "His name comes up a lot. My guess is he's the real Mr. Big."

"What makes you say that?" Buttercup asked.

"Come on, who would actually call themselves Mr. Big?" Butch snorted, "I mean, it sounds like that 90s soft rock boy band. Moose McGregor probably made that name up so no one would know he was the real power in the cartel."

"Makes as much as anything else, I guess," Buttercup replied indifferently, "I don't care who it is though, as long as we get to kick Saga Cartel butt. They trashed our house, they broke our window, and the professor says Bubbles hasn't come out of her room since last night. I don't remember the last time I've seen her so bummed."

"It was just a stupid stuffed octopus," Butch scoffed.

"No Butch, that stupid octopus was the very first gift the professor ever gave her," Buttercup corrected, "She's had it since the day she was born. 20 years. It's not replaceable. All we gotta do is find the leader of the Saga Cartel and beat him up. Then the prison system can handle him."

"Why don't we just melt him with our laser vision?" Butch suggested.

"Eh, we'll see where the day leads us," Buttercup replied with a smirk.

Together the green-eyed couple flew back to Townsville, and when they got there Blossom was already in front of the house. She was about to take off flying, but then she saw Buttercup and Butch were coming her way.

"Hey Blossom, what's the hurry?" Buttercup asked.

"I just got a tip from the hotline," Blossom replied, "The Amoeba Boys called to say they found out who Mr. Big is."

"The Amoeba Boys? You mean those loser germs?" Butch snorted derisively, "If they were an actual illness it would be chicken pox, because those guys are nothing but a bunch of chickens!"

"That may be true, but right now it's our only lead," Blossom pointed out, "Come on!"

With those words the three supers flew off toward the Amoeba Boys' hideout; a condemned storefront that had the words AMOEBA BOYS SECRET HIDEOUT written in crudely penned sharpie on the door. Blossom opened the door first, and she was greeted with the sight of ten giant translucent amoebas wearing fedoras and newsboy hats just standing around doing nothing.

"Bossman?" Blossom called out, and the head Amoeba Boy wriggled over to her.

"Hello, Blossom," Bossman greeted her in his thick Brooklyn accent, "I see you and your fellow Powerpuffs came all the way down here just to hear our testimony."

"Yeah, to hear our testimony!" One of the Junior Amoebas, marked by a black newsboy hat, repeated.

"Uh...What's testimony?" One of the Slim Amoebas asked obliviously.

"Shaddup, Slim Number 4!" Bossman snapped, "Alright then, we got the information you want, see? You wanna know about Mr. Big, and we got the goods, but we want a little somethin' in return, see?"

"Ugh, is this gonna take long?" Butch asked impatiently.

"Not at all," Bossman assured them, "Now, what we want is simple, see? We just want a little respect."

"Yeah, a little respect!" A Junior parroted.

"So, we tell you what you wanna know, and you give us..." Bossman paused to think about what he wanted, "...Ten dollars!"

"Done," Blossom replied a little too quickly and handed him the money, "Now, who is Mr. Big and how can we find him?"

"Well..." Bossman leaned in close so he could speak quietly near Blossom, "Do you know the muffin man?"

"The muffin man?" Blossom asked skeptically.

"The muffin man!" Bossman exclaimed as if it were a big revelation.

"Do we have a muffin man?" Butch asked idiotically.

"Sure, his shop's on 7th Street," Buttercup informed him.

"Well, Mr. Big's the muffin man," Bossman said conspiratorially.

"The muffin man?" Blossom asked, not believing a word of this.

"The muffin man!" Bossman declared.

"Mr. Big's the muffin man?" Junior Number 2 asked obliviously.

"I told you that yesterday!" Bossman snapped.

"Fine. Thanks for the tip, Bossman," Blossom sighed, knowing it was the only lead they had, "Come on, girls! Uh, sorry Butch. Come on, Buttercup and Butch. Let's go talk to the muffin man!"

With that order the Powerpuffs and Rowdyruff flew away, and the dim-witted Amoeba Boys waved at them as they left.

Once the supers were gone Bossman turned to his cohorts and smiled evilly as he said, "Great job, boys! They didn't suspect a thing. Now phase one of our greatest criminal plan ever has been completed!"

"Uh...What do we do for phase two, Boss?" Slim Number 3 asked.

"Uh...I guess we wait..." Bossman replied anticlimactically.

The Amoeba Boys then went back to what they were doing before the Powerpuffs and Rowdyruff got there...absolutely nothing.

It was another stupid party! Princess ran her fingernails through her frazzled red hair and growled at the top of her lungs. She finally, finally, got a day off, and it was being ruined by her stupid neighbors and their stupid noise! Their stereo system practically shook her windows, and she could smell the booze even from the third story. It was bad enough she had discovered the assassin Femme Fatale working for them, but they also insisted on making her life miserable from afar.

"Stupid Bubbles..." Princess muttered, "What did I expect her to do? She's such a baby. 'Wah wah, being a superhero is hard! Boo hoo! I'm so glamorous and alone!' Bah! What a joke!"

Princess continued to angrily mutter under her breath as she walked around her house trying to find some room where she wouldn't be able to hear the house party going on next door. All she wanted was to drink her organic açaí smoothie and sit on her goose down sofa while watching the fashion channel. Was that too much to ask for her first day off in forever?

As Princess passed one of the numerous hall closets she came across something she hadn't thought about in years. It was her old jet pack and her old laser gloves from back when she tried to be a Powerpuff Girl. The costume and accessories were too small for her now, but she couldn't help but smile as she thought back on all of her misadventures. She had joined the Beat Alls, fought countless battles with the Powerpuff Girls, and had once even become the mayor while wearing this suped-up outfit.

"Hm, maybe I should call Mojo Jojo and see how he's doing," Princess pondered, "...Nah. He's a grouch."

Princess sighed and kept walking. There was a time in her life when if she wanted something all she had to do was set her mind to it. As a child she believed she could have anything, but apparently one thing she couldn't have was a little stinking peace and quiet.

"What am I doing?" Princess suddenly asked as she stopped in the middle of the marble hallway, "I can't let my crummy neighbors ruin my day. I'm Princess! I don't care if they're criminals, or if Femme Fatale works for them, or even if they have good lawyers! I'm the baddest super criminal that Townsville ever saw, and now I'm the CEO of one of the most powerful corporations in the world! That's it! Those party animals are going down!"

Princess then ran down the hallway to another supply closet where her daddy used to keep his hunting weapons. She looked around until she saw the one she wanted; a crossbow that automatically reloaded and had an optional laser feature. Yes, this would do nicely...

It had been just as Blossom feared. The muffin man knew nothing of what they were talking about. When Butch threatened to melt his head off if he didn't hand over information, the poor muffin man had actually fainted! The team looked all over the muffin shop for clues, but of course they found nothing. Blossom knew that they wouldn't. She had been certain this was a dead end.

The three supers angrily flew back to the Amoeba Boys' 'secret' hideout, and Blossom broke the door down since she was so mad at the Amoeba Boys for sending them off on a wild goose chase.

"Hello, Powerpuffs," Bossman greeted them in a slow sinister voice, "I see you discovered that phase one of our plan was a ruse."

"Phase one of what plan?" Buttercup demanded to know.

"Hahahaha," Bossman chuckled evilly, and then abruptly asked, "Did you like that evil laugh? I've been workin' on it for hours."

"It's true," One of the Slims confirmed, "He laughed so much that we was worried about him."

"Why did you tell us the muffin man was Mr. Big?" Blossom asked crossly.

"It was all part of our master plan!" Bossman proudly declared, "For you see, we have finally become true criminals! Not only did we steal ten dollars from you, but we have also committed the crime of...perjury!"

Bossman held his nubby arms up in the air in a maniacal pose, but it was awkward because everyone around him was just staring at him while he held perfectly still. After a minute Bossman put his arms down, and the others looked at the supers to see what they would do.

"Um, Amoeba Boys?" Blossom addressed them almost apologetically, "You can't commit perjury unless you're in court. When you lie to a superhero it's just lying."

"Yeah, dude. We're not even cops," Butch added, "Man, you guys are dumb! What, did you just split one brain cell ten ways? Hah!"

"So...we're not going to jail?" Slim Number One asked in disappointment.

"No," Blossom replied.

"Aw, nuts!" Every Amoeba Boy shouted in unison.

"Well, this was a waste of time," Buttercup summarized, "Come on, let's go home and look for real clues."

The three supers flew away feeling defeated, and the Amoeba Boys just continued to stand in place dejectedly. After a few moments however, one of the Juniors asked, "Hey Boss? Should we have told them that Mr. Big hangs out here sometimes?"

"Nah. That ain't important," Bossman shrugged, "Now, about our next criminal plan...Oh, I know! Let's go steal grapes at the supermarket!"

"Yay!" Every other Amoeba Boy cheered.

Princess made her way past partygoers and kegs of booze. The music was even louder now that she was close to the source, and her ears hurt from the infernal cacophony of merriment and debauchery. None of the guys at the party even seemed to notice or care that Princess was holding a crossbow. In fact, many of them were also packing heat. The mixture of business suits and overly casual street wear was also a strange touch, and Princess knew enough about Townsville's criminal element to get a bad feeling about this place.

She needed to find the owner of the house if she was going to complain, but the problem was Princess didn't know who lived there. They had lived next door to her for almost a year, but she was usually so busy with her own life that she never bothered to introduce herself to her neighbors. Now she had to try to figure out which of these drunken idiots was the guy in charge.

Princess went inside the house, deciding that it was as good a place as any to start. The house surprisingly was quieter than outside. In fact, it was quieter than the inside of her own house despite being closer to the action. Princess was suspicious of this, and used the laser on her crossbow to rip a small hole in the wall. She then pulled out a wad of heavy duty foam. Yep, the walls were insulated with soundproof material.

"Oh sure, make the rest of us suffer while you stay in your nice quiet house...jerk," Princess muttered angrily as she walked down a wide hallway that led to several rooms, "I hate you already. Heh, it'd be funny if Femme Fatale lived here. I'd show her...yeah..."

Princess walked around and turned several corners until she was actually lost in the cavernous mansion. It was so much like her own house, yet the layout was different so she couldn't find her way out easily. Princess wasn't feeling as angry anymore now that she had walked for a while, but now that feeling was being replaced with one of foreboding. Something seemed wrong about this house and the people partying around it.

That was when Princess realized. She hadn't run into any people since entering the house. Between the assassin being hired and the mob looking guys outside, Princess knew something was going on. The Powerpuff Girls should have been investigating the situation, but they seemed preoccupied lately. They probably wouldn't help Princess even if she called, so she would have to keep on high alert to protect herself.

Princess then turned a corner that led her into a warm room with dim lights. She could see brightness coming from the side of the room, so she looked to see what she could see. She wished she hadn't. Inside a terrarium that took up the entire side wall was the largest reticulated python Princess had ever seen. She couldn't help it. She was so startled she screamed!

Princess backed into someone, and saw a little man in a trench coat glaring back at her with a cold expression. She screamed again and aimed her crossbow at him, but he didn't even seem phased as he pulled out a pistol and aimed it at her.

"I wouldn't do that, sweetheart," Moose drawled, "You look a little too classy to be one of the hookers. Lemme guess, FBI?"

"No! I live next door, you idiot!" Princess snapped, regaining some of her nerve despite her fear, "Are you the owner of the house? Because your stupid music is ruining my day off! So turn it down!"

"How much did you see?" Moose asked darkly.

"I saw a poorly decorated soundproof house and a bunch of lowlives making too much racket!" Princess yelled snidely, "Do you have any idea who I am? I am Princess Morebucks, and my time is worth a lot more than yours! So, either you turn down the stupid stereo outside or I'm calling the cops!"

"You don't wanna do that," Moose replied coolly, and then he snapped his fingers.

Two rough looking goons appeared from the entranceway and disarmed Princess before she could figure out what was happening. She kicked one of them in the shins and made him howl in pain before turning on the other guard to punch him in the face. Before she could get the punch in however, she felt Moose's gun dig into her back.

"Like I said, you don't wanna do that," Moose repeated as he jabbed the gun into the small of her back.

"Eh heh heh heh, can't you guys take a joke?" Princess laughed weakly, trying to diffuse the situation.

"Nope," Moose replied, "You know what to do, fellas."

The two goons grabbed Princess by the arms and quickly tied her to a pole. Princess wondered why they didn't just use a chair like normal crooks, but it became apparent why when Moose got a ladder out of the closet and propped it against the glass of the snake enclosure. Princess gasped, thinking they couldn't be serious, but then one of the goons used one arm to grab her and started climbing up the ladder; ready to throw her to the snake!

"No! Stop! I demand you unhand me at once!" Princess shrieked, caught between anger and panic, "Wait! I, um, I can pay you a lot of money to not feed me to the snake! Come on, guys! Can't you take a joke?"

Moose just watched dispassionately as the goon made it to the opening of the snake terrarium, and Princess screamed for all she was worth even as the snake watched their every move. She tried to kick and wiggle free, but she was tied up too tightly. Just as it seemed like all hope was lost though, someone else entered the room.

"Hey, Moose," A large fat ogre of a man called out to the murderous flunky, "What's going on here? Why aren't you at the party?"

"Just feeding your snake, Mr. Big sir," Moose replied obsequiously.

"Who is that?" Mr. Big asked as he pointed to Princess.

"Just an interloper, sir," Moose assured his boss, "I'm handling it."

"Mr. Big has seen her before," Mr. Big observed, "Yeah, out the window. She lives next door."

"Of course I live next door, dummy!" Princess harrumphed, ignoring the fact that this guy could choose whether she lived or died, "I'm Princess Morebucks! How could you not know who I am?!"

"Nice to meet you, Princess," Mr. Big replied politely, "Are you here for the party?"

"No, I'm not here for the party!" Princess groused, "I'm here because of your stupid noisy friends and your stupid noisy stereo! All I wanted was a little quiet, and now your stupid henchmen are trying to feed me to a snake! If I get out of this then you're in big trouble!"

"Oh," Mr. Big replied dully, a sharp contrast to Princess's fiery temper, "I'm sorry. Mr. Big will turn the music down. Boys, let her go."

"But sir-!" Moose protested.

"She's a neighbor!" Mr. Big abruptly shouted; silencing Moose's complaints, "Fluffy will be fine with chickens this week. We don't feed neighbors to Fluffy. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," Moose sighed, unhappy about it but unwilling to challenge the much larger man, "You heard him, boys. Release the broad."

The mobsters untied Princess and she dusted herself off as if their hands were too dirty to touch her expensive clothes. She walked past Mr. Big as she left and stuck her nose up in the air as a final act of disdain. Mr. Big allowed this to happen, and his subordinates were confused as to why he was being so lenient toward such an unbearable person.

"Moose, do you know that girl's address?" Mr. Big asked.

"Of course, boss. She lives right next door," Moose shrugged in confusion.

"Good. Tomorrow send her a fruit basket," Mr. Big ordered, "I don't want her to think Mr. Big's a bad host. Oh, and Femme Fatale called a few minutes ago. She got the weapons, and soon she'll get the Powerpuff Girls."

"That's great, boss," Moose replied dutifully, "So, um, this Princess dame. You think she'll turn us in?"

"Nah. She's our neighbor," Mr. Big reasoned, "When bad things happen to one house, they happen to every house. She wouldn't want the cops snooping around her house, so they won't snoop around here neither."

Moose smirked at his boss's words. He finally understood. Princess Morebucks was a white collar criminal, not to mention a former notorious super villain. She wouldn't be investigating the Saga Cartel on her own except no one else would work with her. Therefore, Princess was powerless to stop them. Sometimes he underestimated the leader of their mob family, even though time and again Mr. Big had proven how well he could read people.