Jake is panicking and Tsu'tey and Neytiri have a heart to heart. What could be troubling Jake?
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Alira screeches angrily, smacking my jaw with her tiny fist as Tsu'tey hurries to warm the mash of food that will be her breakfast. The smell of the vegetables and milk curl my stomach and I crinkle my nose, holding Alira closer and breathing in her sweet baby smell, hoping to chase away the stench. She shrieks again and kicks her legs, her small lips curling into a grimace.
"Shh little one, your breakfast is almost ready. Your daddy just has to heat it up first for your delicate tummy." I poke said tummy and she gurgles, momentarily distracted from her fit of anger. Tsu'tey pokes at the mash with his finger, checking the temperature, and settles in the small chair by the table that was a gift from the clan. He holds his arms open and I pass our grumpy baby over to him. He coos softly to her, stroking the little indent between her eyes. He holds her with such tenderness and smiling sweetly at her, that my lungs constrict and the room spins, forcing me to lean against the wall of our hut and try to catch my breath.
"Is something the matter Jake?" Tsu'tey watches me curiously as Alira gums at her breakfast mash. I quickly shake my head, trying to dispel the sudden wave of panic gripping my chest. He looks like he wants to question me further but Alira burps, dribbling some food down her chin. A scratch sounds at our door and Neytiri pokes her head in, smiling brightly.
"Kaltxi Jake, Tsu'tey. Little Alira." I wave her in and she settles on the stool beside Tsu'tey, gently touching Alira's foot as she eats.
"How is this little one?" Neytiri smiles as Alira shrieks at her, her little face stained with her breakfast. Tsu'tey manages a smile for Neytiri and wipes Alira's chin with a scrap of cloth.
"She is well, thank you Neytiri. Her appetite grows bigger every day." Alira takes that moment to burp and Neytiri and Tsu'tey watch her with adoring eyes. The family moment is tender and I'm glad that Neytiri is here to share it with us, but I can't help but feel the swarm of panic once more settle over me. I watch Tsu'tey and Neytiri talking, unaware of my inner turmoil and I'm hit with a sudden urge to run. I push away from the wall and grab my hunting gear, stumbling in my haste to get out of our hut. Tsu'tey looks at me, his eyes crinkled with concern.
"Jake, are you alright?" My head spins and it feels as if I'm hearing his words from underwater. I nod and shove open our door.
"I'm fine, I'm just going to hunt. I'll be back later." Tsu'tey frowns at me and hands the baby to Neytiri, but I'm too quick. I sprint from the hut with a backward wave and disappear into the vegetation. I can sense his hurt and confusion through the bond, almost as if it was my own, but I don't slow down. I close my mind and emotions off to Tsu'tey, unwilling for him to know what I'm feeling. I don't want him to be hurt further from my own weakness. I crouch down and focus solely on the forest around me, letting myself fall into the role of hunter.
...
Tsu'tey's POV:
Neytiri feeds Alira for me, her yellow eyes full of sympathy as she stares at me. I close our door with a soft thud, my mind swirling as I try to get a read on Jake. When I come up short, I realize that he's blocking me, and confusion and hurt fill all of my senses. Why would be block our bond? Alira burps and swings her tiny fists in the air, content now that her belly is full. Neytiri holds her close, pressing her nose to her hair.
"She is a beautiful babe Tsu'tey. Eywa has truly blessed you and Jake." Her words are kind and they manage to slip past my bubble of protection, and I burst into tears, unable to keep them in any longer. Neytiri tsks and shuffles the baby to her shoulder, standing up and tucking me under her other arm, as if a mother would her child.
"Hush now Tsu'tey, dry those tears and tell me what is the matter." Like all Navi women, she has a brusque caring nature to her that all children need to survive in this world. I let her press me against her side, allowing my softer, gentler side to be exposed.
"Something is wrong with Jake. I don't know what it is, but ever since we adopted Alira, I can sense this energy around him." I remember when he woke from sleep a few nights past, covered in sweat and shaking. He assured me it was nothing, and wanting to respect his privacy, I didn't pry through our bond. Neytiri clucks her tongue and slowly bounces the yawning baby on her shoulder.
"Have you tried talking to him about it?" I nod, remembering how Jake shut down my concern when I tried to ask him. Instead, he kissed me until I was breathless and mated me until the sun peeked over the treetops. I remember the feel of our sweaty limbs tangled together and our queues locked together for hours. I've never felt closer to Jake then in that moment, and now it feels as if he's slipping through my fingers.
"I worry this is all too much, too fast for him. We had only been mated for a short period before becoming fathers. What if he regrets it?" I look at my little Alira and I'm filled with a fierce desire to protect her, from anyone and anything. How could Jake not look at her and feel the same? How could I possibly choose one or the other, if it came down to it? I shudder at the thought and push it aside. Now is not the time for silly thoughts.
"I'm sure it is not that, my brother. I can sense that something has been weighing on his mind, but I do not believe it is that." A flare of jealousy wells up in my heart at the thought of Neytiri and Jake talking together about what troubles him, but I squish it down. Neytiri is my friend and Jake is my mate, and despite my jealousy of her, I trust Neytiri. She squeezes my shoulder and Alira snorts quietly in her sleep.
"I am not mated, so I'm not sure how much weight my words will carry, but, I advise you to really talk to Jake, before your mind runs wild." She presses a tiny kiss to Alira's head and in that moment, despite all the misgivings I've felt about Neytiri, I'm glad she's here. I squeeze her thigh and she smiles at me.
"I will. Thank you, my sister." Her smile grows softer, more tender and she looks away, her eyes shining. We spend the rest of the afternoon in comfortable companionship and I plot my next move with Jake.