A/N: Ok, so I'm not going to pretend like it hasn't been forever and a day since I posted. Sorry! I wasn't lying when I said this story was completely written when I started posting. But when I got to the last chapter, I decided I wasn't happy with how it was written and started to rewrite it. Just about then, real life got in the way, and I lost all motivation to both read and write. But I kept picking away at it, determined to finish. And then one day I finally had some motivation! And this is what I came up with.

This chapter is not beta'd and though I have edited it, I'm sure there are mistakes. Please overlook them.

Chapter 9

Hermione put the finishing touches on her makeup and studied herself in the mirror. Deeming her look complete, she turned to grab her clutch and headed to the door of her flat.

The evening before her promised to be interesting. The last of her good friends was getting married, leaving her the only stand out among them to not have paired off. She was thrilled for all her friends, of course she was. They were all so happy, and she knew soon the babies would come and there would be more joy to go around.

When she reached the bar the engagement party was at, a swanky place uptown she would never have gone to otherwise, she cringed a bit at the crowd lingering outside. The bar was obviously popular and based on the way the people around her were dressed, she guessed it attracted people in high places. Not her scene, but Ron's fiancée came from a wealthy family, so she wasn't surprised.

She wove her way through the crowd, to the back room she was directed to for the party. The place was packed, and she was jostled all the way there. Feeling rather put out by the time she reached her destination, she accepted hugs from all her friends and toasted the happy couple. After more than an hour of feeling oppressed in the packed space, she excused herself to take a breather.

She made her way back out on the sidewalk. The crowd had thinned some, but she walked a bit down the street and stopped to lean again the building behind her, closing her eyes and breathing in the cool night air.

"Hermione."

Startled, her eyes snapped open, and she whipped her head to the side to look for the speaker. Though she hadn't heard it in more than a year, the raspy voice was instantly recognizable, and her heart jumped to her throat at the sight of him.

He looked different. His hair was shorter, and he wore it down. The beard was gone, though his jaw was covered in what must have been several days of stubble. He wore a suit, though it looked rather rumpled, his top two buttons on his shirt undone and his tie loose.

"Sirius?! I... Uhh..." she stuttered, blushing furiously.

He smiled gently at her and stepped forward. He looked for a moment he may give her a hug but thought better of it, instead saying, "I saw you inside. I tried to say hello, but you seemed pretty determined to get out the door."

She chuckled, uncomfortable, "Yes, well, it was a little stifling in there. I just needed some air."

He nodded, then appeared to study her, "It's good to see you, but surprising. This isn't really a place I would have expected to find you."

She couldn't help the flash of hurt at his words, though she couldn't explain why. He was right.

"No, it's not really my scene. But Ron's engaged and this is where they are having their engagement party."

When he didn't respond, she ventured, "It's good to see you too. How have you been?"

"Things have been good," he said, not really answering her question, "My time at Black Industries has been really rewarding. Reg and I have become close, like brothers should be. How about you?"

She shrugged, looking away, "Nothing is new with me. Same old, same old."

"Really?" he asked.

Her head snapped back to him, annoyed by his obvious surprise. "Yes, really. Why should that surprise you?"

He shrugged, looking uncomfortable, "I guess it doesn't. But it's been a long time. I thought maybe..."

"Maybe... what?"

"Maybe you had found someone," he looked away again when she scoffed.

"Sirius... we were close friends for a long time. I know that you may have moved on, but I haven't changed. I still live in the same flat, with the same job, and the same group of people to hang out with, and no romantic prospects in sight. Nothing is different in my life. Well, except that you're not in it."

He flinched at that like she had yelled at him, but her voice was calm. He looked back at her, "About that. I'm sorry about how I handled everything. I was a real bastard."

She studied him. He seemed genuinely remorseful, the look in his gray eyes almost pleading. For forgiveness, she thought. She shrugged, "It is what it is."

"Hermione-"

She cut him off before he could continue, "Look, it was good to see you, and I'm glad things are going well for you, but I really need to get back to the party."

Perhaps she was being rude. He obviously wanted to talk, but she just couldn't face it. Looking back on the time right after he left had her feeling wrong footed. She wasn't proud of how she had handled being left behind by him and had taken longer than she wanted to move on with her life. She wasn't interested in going down this rabbit hole with him just to ease his conscious.

He nodded, "Of course. I'm glad I ran into you."

She smiled tightly to him and slipped past him, murmuring her goodnight as she did. He stayed silent. She could help but glance back at him before slipping back into the bar only to find him staring after her intently. She felt a blush stain her cheeks and tried to put him from her mind.

Two weeks later she heard her phone ping as she was putting away some food she had bought at the market on the way home from work. She didn't glance at it at first, going about her usual after work routine. When she finally picked up her phone, it was nearly two hours later, and she nearly dropped it in shock at the name staring back at her.

Sirius. Sirius had texted her. Something he hadn't done since before he moved out. What on earth was he thinking?

She was almost afraid to read what he wrote, so she wasted another 20 minutes pretending the text didn't exist. Then she decided she was being foolish and opened it up.

I hope you can forgive me for this, but I need to see you. Are you home?

Hermione stared at the text in shock. What could have possessed him?

She was very tempted to ignore it. She didn't need him showing up and disturbing her hard-won peace and mixing her emotions all up. She had had a hard enough time seeing him briefly a couple weeks ago, and that had been nothing.

But she was incapable of ignoring him. She still cared far more than she ought to, and she was more than a little curious as to what he wanted.

She texted him back in the affirmative and was startled to hear the soft knock at her door less than ten minutes later. He must have been waiting close by for her to text him back.

When she opened the door, she let out the breath she didn't realize she had been holding. He was in a t-shirt and jeans. Nicer than he used to wear, but still clearly well used and not the three-piece suit she had briefly been envisioning since she read his text.

She didn't say anything, just stood aside and gestured him to come in.

He passed her and walked into her tiny kitchen and turned to face her as she closed the door.

When several moments passed and he just looked at her, she became uncomfortable and said, "You asked to see me. I didn't think you meant you only wanted to look at me. Did you come here to talk?"

Sirius seemed to shake himself before nodding jerkily.

"So...talk."

"I can tell you're not going to make this easy on me," his raspy voice was hoarse, and he gave her a little smirk, "Not that I blame you. I deserve it.

I meant what I said a couple weeks ago, Hermione. I was a bastard. I knew what I was doing, and I did what I thought I had to to push you away."

He stopped then, and she asked, "But why? Why did you feel like you had to push me away?"

"That's rather complicated. I can't explain it very well, but please know that I thought I was doing the right thing. What I said was true; you are very young, and I didn't like the idea of you throwing your life away with someone like me. I thought you deserved better."

Hermione furrowed her brow, thinking through what he said, "You knew how I felt about you, even though I never said anything."

He smiled at that, "Yes, well, you wore your heart in your sleeve, so to speak. I thought it was just a crush, something you would get over. And you probably would have if we hadn't spent so much time together. By the time I realized it was something more, it was too late."

Her cheeks were burning by the time he finished. How humiliating! She had truly believed he had no idea she felt anything more than friendship for him.

"But no matter what, I was a total fool for how I treated you. You had the right take your own decisions, and I shouldn't have pushed you away just because I thought it was best. I realize that too late as well."

She sighed deeply at the words, and his hoarse voice and sorrowful tone cut at her. He obviously was remorseful, but what did he expect from her?

"I appreciate your honesty, Sirius, and I'm glad you realized your mistake, but...what exactly do you want from me? Forgiveness? You have it. You don't have to feel guilty about anything anymore."

He shook his head, "I'm grateful to have your forgiveness, Hermione, but that's not what I'm here for. At least, not entirely."

When his pause lengthened into an uncomfortable silence, Hermione prompted, "So then...why are you here?"

He sighed deeply, swiping his hand over his eyes a few times before dragging it down his scruffy cheek, "Things have been going really well. Reg and I have become close again, like we were when we were growing up. He's gone out of his way to give me a place at the company, one that fits me and plays to my strengths. All told, it was the right move for me. I should be happy, and I am in a way. But something is missing. It took me a while to realize it was you."

By the time her brain caught up with his last words, he had already started speaking again, "You were always there for me, whenever I needed you, expecting nothing in return. Never judging me, always thinking the best of me. I never really had that before. When I left, I knew I would miss you, of course, you had become one of my best friends. But I had underestimated how empty my life would feel without you in it. How lonely I would feel. And I don't like it."

He stopped then, sighing deeply again. When he didn't continue, she asked, "So, you're here because you don't want to feel lonely anymore?"

He shook his head, then laughed roughly, "God, this is complicated. I...I just miss you. And I know it's been a long time and things are different now. I has managed to put it from my brain for so long, and I thought I had myself convinced that you would have forgotten about me, found someone else and moved on. Then I saw you the other night, and I just thought... Well, I guess I thought maybe I had a chance at making things right."

She stared at him, unable to formulate a response at first. Then all of her pent-up emotion came bubbling to the surface, and she burst out, "God, Sirius! It's not that simple! You made the choice to walk away! I never would have done that. I never would have made a decision that affected both of us so deeply on my own without so much as a by your leave! You can't do that Sirius, especially to someone you supposedly care about. It wasn't your decision to make for me!"

He had closed his eyes during her tirade, a pained look on his face. When she finished, he stepped away and turned his back, sighing deeply. After a few moments of silence, he said softly, "I know that now. But I didn't understand it then. It shouldn't surprise you after the mess my life has been that I don't usually make the right choices for myself. I don't know why I thought I was in a good position to make decisions for the both of us. I know it's no excuse, and I'm not trying to make it sound like one. I just want you to understand where I was coming from. I truly thought I was making the right choice."

He turned back toward her, and she was startled to see his eyes glistening with tears, "I'm so incredibly sorry. And if you give me another chance, I will make mistakes, I know I will. I can't promise to be perfect. But I swear to you, I will never make a mistake like that again. I'll never take a choice like that away from you."

He was so clearly torn up about it, she couldn't help but believe him. Despite the way he had handled certain things in their relationship, she had always known him to be a good man. And she couldn't help but believe him now.

"I...I don't know if I can trust you," she muttered, unsure.

She could tell by his face that her statement had given him hope. He stepped forward again, eyes soft as he looked down at her, "I know. I'll earn your trust back, Hermione. I know I'll have to work for it. I will. I won't let you down again."

"You said you wanted me to give you a chance. As chance to, what? Be friends again? Hang out? And so we...what? You live on the other side of town now, not right next door. We can't go back to pretending like everything is as it was then."

He shrugged, looking helpless at her words, "I don't know. Maybe we meet up sometimes? Go to the movies, go out to dinner, just...spend time together."

She studied him for a moment before saying, "That sounds a bit like dating."

She was watching him carefully, so she saw his whole-body tense and then he took a visible gulp of air. He swallowed thickly and said very quietly, "Yes, I suppose it does."

She sighed, debating whether to push him further on the issue. Did he want something more than friendship? And whether he did or he didn't, what did she want? She couldn't deny that she still loved him, even after all this time. But she also didn't know if she could handle it if he decided to up and leave again. And if he did truly just want to be friends and felt nothing more for her, did she want to put herself through spending time with him, knowing her feelings were not reciprocated?

Before she could make any sort of decision, Sirius moved suddenly from across the small kitchen. He stopped just in front of her when she reflexively threw out her hand as if to ward off his advance. She flushed, embarrassed by her reaction, dropping the hand she had pushed against his chest.

"Sorry," he murmured, sounding contrite, "I didn't mean to startle you."

She was forced to look up at him with him standing so close. His gray eyes were sparking with intensity as he stared at her. "You see, I fooled myself into thinking it was one sided. That you were the only one who wanted more than we had. I truly believe it too. And when the opportunity presented itself to move on and separate myself from you, to allow you to find someone better, I took it."

She was vaguely aware that her jaw had dropped open at his words and she was gaping at him. He continued, "It wasn't until much later that I knew how wrong I had been."

He stopped talking and seemed to be studying her. She tried to force her jaw closed, but only succeeded in flapping her mouth open and closed a few times before managing to rasp out, "Sirius..."

She slumped her shoulders and felt tears pricking at her eyes as she said after a long silence, "Sirius, please don't do this to me. I...when you...you left me behind! It took me a long time to get over that. And I don't think I could take it if you..."

With her words, he grabbed both of her hands, causing her to startle and quiet, looking up at him as he said "I'm sorry I hurt you. I know you have no reason to trust me anymore, but I have to know. Do I still have a shot with you? Because if I do, I will do whatever it takes to make it all up to you. I'm not just saying this, Hermione. I... I love you. And I want another chance, even if I don't deserve it."

She stared at him, unable to formulate a response. She closed her eyes, and she felt his fingertips hesitantly touch her cheek to wipe away the tears she hadn't realized had fallen. With the gentle touch, she let out a sob and threw herself at him. He caught her in his arms as she wrapped her arms tightly around his chest and buried her face into his shirt.

"I never wanted you to leave," she murmured as he held her, "Please, Sirius, don't let me down again. Not like that."

She felt him shake his head in agreement. She pulled back slightly to look at his face, only inches from hers now. His grey eyes still glistened, but his smile a moment later lit them up. She smiled back, reaching up to run her fingers down his rather scruffy cheek.

"That last day, before I left, you kissed me. I couldn't get it out of my head for the longest time," he murmured.

She blushed, whispering, "I regretted that. It didn't really help me to get over you."

He lifted his hand, running his thumb lightly over her cheek before tangling his fingers in her loose curls, "It drove me mad. The memory of your lips on mine."

The huskiness of his voice made her bold. She stood up on her tip toes and pressed her lips to his, just as she had that day. She pulled back quickly and smirked at his dazed expression.

"As good as you remembered?" She teased him with a smile.

His lips quirked into a smirk, "Better."

When he leaned down and their lips met again, there was no hesitancy on his part. Hermione's heart soared as he pulled her against him. When they finally pulled back, she couldn't help the excited giggled that escaped.

"I have a frozen pizza, if you want to stay," she offered softly.

"Sounds perfect."

He leaned down again and brushed his lips against hers. Then he moved his lips to her ear, his stubble rough against her cheek. She couldn't help but shiver as he whispered, "How about some of those fresh baked cookies of yours as well?"

A/N: That's it! Hopefully it all came together. Thank you for everyone for hanging in there with me! Also, thanks for all the encouraging reviews!