Tali'Zorah vas Neema

"Come on, let's see the girl before we dock," Shepard suggested, grinning. He stood and offered his hand. Naturally, I took it. Naturally, Garrus chuckled. I ignored him, as Shepard led me to the shuttle's cockpit. No pilot? Strange. It must be operated remotely from the ship. Risky, could be jammed. Unless… Perhaps quantum entanglement. Expensive, advanced, but not impossible. The technology is known to us, just simply inefficient and too expensive for widespread use. As for the expense, Cerberus has already put many credits into Shepard and his mission. It adds up. We broke atmosphere and would be closing in on the Normandy. I could barely just make out a faint shape in the distance, a sparkling sliver amongst the stars. One getting closer and closer, one which started to take shape. An unmistakably familiar one. I couldn't help but smile as good memories flooded back. Even the same coat of paint.

"I gave them nine kinds of hell when they first showed me her, all in Cerberus colors and logos," Shepard chuckled.

"I take it they relented."

"I'd still be standing in the dockmaster's office if they didn't," he smirked.

"As stubborn as ever."

"Look who's talking. Refusing to back down from your mission, then refusing to break down from your word so much as to basically give your admiralty board the finger."

"Another human phrase?"

"Right, right. Lifting our middle finger, alone, is shorthand, pun intended, for 'fuck you.'" I shook my head, smiling. He really hasn't changed. The shuttle began to slow, and the Normandy's bay doors began to open. Certainly larger than the original's. And a lot brighter. The shuttle entered the ship, the bay doors closing behind us, and the shuttle touched down. But the shuttle doors couldn't open until the bay doors were closed and the atmosphere restored. Of course. Shepard and I returned to the crew bay while the process finalized. There was an older human woman, just as unmistakable as the ship. Dr. Chakwas. The shuttle doors opened, and the crew took their leave ahead of us. Except for Garrus. The doctor was smiling, and stepping forward to greet us, and we met her just outside the shuttle.

"Tali, it's good to see you again."

"It's good to see you too, Doctor. It's good to know we're in such good hands."

"Thank you, dear. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Neither would I. Without her I'm sure my face would be in a few more pieces than it already is," Garrus remarked.

"I meant to ask about that. Just what happened?"

"It took a rocket," he shrugged.

"...What?" I questioned. That seems a bit ridiculous. But… a lot of ridiculous things have happened aboard the Normandy.

"More or less. There was a gunship where the pilot had quite a large bone to pick with him," Shepard explained.

"Is it stranger that this happened, or stranger that somehow, I'm not as surprised as I should be?" Shepard, Garrus, and Chakwas, glanced amongst each other, considering.

"I don't know anymore," Shepard chuckled.

"I'll let you give her the tour, Shepard. Besides, I want to calibrate the guns."

"More calibrations? You didn't spend enough time doing that two years ago?"

"I like to think of it as making up for lost time," the Turian shrugged.

"And I'll return to the med-bay to ensure I have everything we need for you, Tali. And make a list of what we don't for our next stop. Which I believe to be the Citadel?"

"That it is, doc. EDI, you can tell Joker to put us en route," Shepard looked up as he spoke to this, Eedee. There was no verbal response, but Shepard didn't seem to mind. I suppose he's confident he was heard. Garrus, Doctor Chakwas, Shepard, and I entered the elevator. Garrus selected the button for deck three, and Shepard for deck two. Good, the elevator is much faster than the original Normandy's. That one was almost painful. While Garrus and the Doctor exited from the same door we entered from, facing a wall and hallway, for CIC, the opposite end of the elevator opened, revealing a nearly identical CIC. Simply a little larger, and much better lit. Crewmembers all in their stations, and a woman with red hair standing at a console, an empty one on the left side. The woman turned, as did a few curious heads. The woman smiled and stepped forward. Remember, Tali. These people are Cerberus. Remember the Idenna. And this one still wore the logo.

"Tali'Zorah vas Neema? I'm Kelly Chambers. The Commander's Yeoman. It's a pleasure to meet you," she offered her hand. I crossed my arms over my chest. Her smile began to fade and hand lowered. "Is… something wrong?"

"Take a guess."

"What do you-oh. I see. You were with Shepard to see the distasteful rogues of our organization. I assure you, there's really-"

"Assure me of what? That your 'organization' isn't responsible for one of our ships being full of orphans, widows, and even parents who've had to bury their little ones? Or that they aren't responsible for the same being done to a colony of your own species?"

"I… see," the woman answered sadly, looking down. I felt a pang of remorse, a desire to apologize. I fought it down. I'll consider apologizing once she no longer wears that logo. "I'll… just get back to work." Shepard began to guide me down towards the cockpit.

"I'm, surprised, Tali," he remarked. "That was harsh, by your standards."

"Cerberus, Shepard."

"I know, I know. I've either done the same or worse. I just didn't expect it from you is all," he explained.

"Not everything can stay the same over two years," I shrugged.

"Tell me about it," Shepard sighed.

"Hey, that's a voice I'd know anywhere," the chair in the cockpit turned around, revealing a small man with an unshaved beard, and a hat with 'SR-2' on the front. It was able to bring a grin back to my face.

"As is your voice, Joker. It's good to hear it again."

"Likewise. Alright, come on," Joker pushed himself up onto his feet, without crutches. "Surprising, right? As a bonus, Cerb threw in better treatments for my Vrolik's. I wouldn't take a hammer to it, or, a strong gust of wind, but I can walk. Now, come on," Joker spread his arms, smirking. Grinning, I accepted, making sure I was gentle.

"Hey, I never got a hug, Joker," Shepard joked.

"That's because you could probably give me a fracture by looking at me the wrong way," Joker remarked. Shepard and I both chuckled as Joker and I separated, the small human returning to his seat. "So, what do you think of the ship's little tumor?"

"Uh… a tumor? For a ship?" I asked confused. Shepard was nervous.

"I uh… was going to explain it after the tour."

"Oh shit, she doesn't know?" Joker burst out in laughter. "Yeah, you have fun with that."

"I don't know about what?" I questioned.

"Well, looks like the cat has to come out of the bag now. Thanks Joker," Shepard muttered. "EDI, show yourself why don't you?" A hologram panel beside Joker's seat lit up to show a blue ball with a small, thin support below. It remained silent. "You can introduce yourself too. Free to speak." There was still silence.

"Oh, that's my bad. Keep it on mute," Joker explained, and pressed a button on the console.

"Thank you, Mr. Moreau. Apologies, Tali'Zorah. The Commander requested that I remain silent until he could later explain my presence." The voice was synthetic. Add in the hologram, and the fact that this was being kept quiet, well, there was only one possible explanation.

The very existence of this… thing, was insulting. I crossed my arms over my chest again and glared at the hologram.

"And yet again, Cerberus somehow manages to go even further below my expectations. Why would you try and hide this from me, Shepard? Don't tell me you're ok with this," I exclaimed.

"...Marginally. She-"

"SHE?!"

"Oof, now you've done it," Joker tried to hold down a chuckle.

"Force of habit. I hear a feminine voice and don't care enough to think about stopping myself. Look, EDI's been heavily shackled. Only has access to surveillance and cyber warfare. Can't access anything else because of hardware blocks. No way around unless a person deliberately messes with the blocks. It's more like, I don't know, an advanced VI with a personality rather than an AI."

"A personality that's all about rules and protocols and all that bullshit," Joker added.

"These rules and protocols do include that my existence comes second in priority to those of all crewmembers," this, thing, added.

"The Geth had their programming, and protocols, and that didn't stop them. Keelah, not only does the Galaxy have the tragedy of my entire species to understand why AI shouldn't exist, but they have the attacks from two years ago! It's insulting!" Shepard put his hand on my shoulder and I turned to look at him. Just, seething.

"Tali, just, a moment, please," he requested. I took a deep breath and followed him into the ship's airlock for privacy. "Look, when I learned, I wasn't exactly pleased myself. But by that time, we were already underway. Kinda lost my bargaining power. Plus, I doubt it would have been negotiable anyway. We've been watching for any bad signs, and she's been helpful. As for surveillance, my room's clean and Mordin agreed to verify that on our way to the Citadel. If it helps, EDI never seems to speak when spoken to or when some rule or protocol is being broken. Out of sight, out of mind," he suggested.

"It's still an AI, Shepard…"

"I know," he gave a reassuring grin. "You don't have to trust EDI, but, can you trust me? Can you power through, for me?" I took another deep breath, looking down. I can't just abandon him here now. And if it's shackled to the degree it is, there really isn't anything it can do to harm us. Alright, it's going to feel like a betrayal of my principles. And my people's, but… alright. I looked back up to him. And nodded.

"Alright, I'll… ignore it. For you. And the moment it does something I don't like…"

"I wouldn't expect anything else," Shepard chuckled. "Thanks. I know it's not easy. Means a lot," he smiled, and wrapped his arms around me in a hug again. That's not a feeling I'll be getting tired of anytime soon. "Get on with the tour?"

"Sure."

"Good. Come on," he nudged his head towards the door inside. I followed him out.

"She's not storming out ahead of you. Guess that means you did well," Joker remarked.

"You could say that," Shepard responded. We were making our way back towards the elevator, but towards the door on our left. "On the right over there is the armory. Jacob mans it. If you're interested in a new shotgun, touch ups or improvements, hell, anything of that sort, he'd be happy to help. Where we're going though, is the lab. That's where Mordin makes his home. Only ground team member you haven't met yet."

"Is he the professor you mentioned?"

"That he is. Quite the character. I wouldn't blame you if you have trouble keeping up with him." We entered the first set of doors, revealing an airlock which began its decontamination. It finished, and we entered the lab. The Salarian was rapidly going back and forth from a microscope and his computer.

"One moment," the Salarian requested. He took another glance into the microscope and typed down some more data before looking up. "Shepard. Assume Quarian is Tali'Zorah. Professor Mordin Solus, pleasure to meet you."

"You too, Professor."

"Read of your inclusion in Shepard's team in STG mission reports. Impressive. Believe inclusion on team will be valuable. Will stock on immunoboosters. And will add project of Quarian immunotherapy to list."

"That's… appreciated, Professor." I'll admit some surprise. The Galaxy's scientists don't generally put any interest towards us. Either way, I wouldn't expect too much success from the professor. Not as any discredit to him, just that it's both not realistic for any significant progress to be made anytime soon, and that any treatment would still take years to take effect.

"Of course. Now, still researching Collector biology. Apologies."

"It's alright, Mordin. Still have a tour for her," Shepard added. Mordin nodded and returned to his work, and we left his lab, decontaminated once again. Followed by the elevator down to deck three. The elevator's exit on this deck still facing the back of the ship.

"Standard crew quarters there on the left. Starboard observatory is basically just a quiet place to relax if you ever want. Port side, lounge and bar. Around this way," Shepard led me to the other side of the crew deck. The mess area was obvious, and moderately populated. A few of the crewmembers gave a short wave. I was a bit unsure how to respond. Some had the logo, some didn't. At least they were already returning to their meals. "Mess hall, obviously. Pretty decent kitchen built in. Chef Gardner ain't bad either. On the left there is Miranda's office."

"Where your quarters used to be? Where are yours?"

"You'll see. Saving the best for last," he remarked.

"Ok…"

"So, ahead down past the sleeper pods, the Gun Battery. You'll find Garrus there when he's working. Med-bay on the right. Now, for a part you're sure to enjoy."

"Engineering?"

"Engineering." We returned to the elevator and down another level. "Starboard cargo is where Grunt's staying, and port, Zaeed. Both doors on the back side here lead to engineering." We passed by a small corridor that led to a sub-level, and he spoke up again, "Jack makes her home down there by the way. She gives you trouble, warn me," Shepard warned. I nodded as the second set of doors opened. Inside, straight ahead, a Human man and woman.

"Gabby, Ken. Other Kenn, over here, would you?

"Aye Commander," the human man began with an accent I've never heard before. It's… unique. "Who's this now?" Another form approached from the other side of engineering. My eyes widened.

"Tali'Zorah vas Neema?! Keelah, it's an honor!" the Quarian male exclaimed.

"Guess that answers that," The human woman chuckled.

"It's… a pleasure. And you are?"

"Oh, sorry. Kenn'Hass nar Yanil."

"A pilgrim? How did you end up here?"

"I was on Omega, scraping by when the Commander found my shop. He offered to give me a place on his ship to help me find a pilgrimage gift," Kenn explained.

"That sounds like Shepard, alright," I chuckled, glancing at him.

"I'm proud of it. Anyways, Tali, the two humans. Ken Donnelly, Gabriella Daniels. You can see neither of them are wearing that logo," I hinted.

"We knew next to nothing about Cerberus when they came to recruit us. They just told us that we'd be working with the Commander to help stop a threat to Humanity," Gabriella reassured.

"Then when Shepard explained how the right old cunts are threats to humanity themselves, well," Ken added.

"Anyways, Gabby, Ken, Kenn, Tali here is your new boss. Chief engineer. EDI, you can log that officially."

"Shepard! I'm sure-" I don't want to take someone's job.

"Ach, don't worry about it, lass. We haven't had a Chief Engineer anyways. Besides, you're already familiar with the Tantalus," Ken shrugged.

"But I don't know what changes have been made," I argued.

"Simple in a lot of ways. Few additions that help us keep stealth during the FTL change, and being able to keep it for longer. We'll go over it with you tomorrow. Sound good?" Gabby suggested.

"Plenty of time during that while we're going to the Citadel," Shepard remarked.

"Alright, but, I would like to see the core first," I requested.

"Happy to show you. Come on, let's see the beautiful girl," Ken answered. Shepard followed as the engineers led us to the core, the thrumming sound of the core getting louder in the large room with the large drive core. Impressive. Already I was running through all the technical information I could gather from the exterior. Wait… do I hear something?

"Tali? Taaaaaaali? Earth to Taliiiiiiiiiiiii? Seriously, Tali? You there?" Shepard chuckled. I snapped back to it and shook my head.

"Sorry, I… got lost in tech."

"Hm, some things change, some things don't," Shepard chuckled again.

"Sorry, sorry."

"Come on, let's go finish the tour, eh?" I nodded, and we left engineering, up to deck one. The door opened, and there was writing on the wall beside a door. Writing my visor translated so I could read it. Captain's Quarters. A whole deck for himself? "EDI, sync Tali's Omni-tool, she's allowed in at any time."

"Thank you, Shepard." The door opened, and I followed him inside. A fish-tank, with several fish. What a strange practice. Just keeping small animals in captivity for… viewing pleasure? Seems like a waste of resources. Still, I had a hard time looking away from them swimming around. I tore my gaze away to look at the rest of the room. An office with display cases, what I'd assume to be a bathroom behind it, and of course the bedroom. A large, very nice-looking double bed, and a large couch.

"Get you a drink?" he offered, going to a mini fridge he had under his desk. "From clean water, even some dextro beer. Sterilized and sealed."

"Someone's prepared," I smirked.

"Eh, you and Garrus are the closest people I've got aboard. Plus Chakwas. Like hell I'm not going to treat you both."

"I'll just have a water, thank you." Shepard shrugged and got one out of the fridge, handing it to me.

"So… Haestrom. They were willing to sacrifice you and your team for a stellar anomaly? I gotta say, that's kind of fucked." I sighed.

"If they believed our lives were worth the information, I have to believe they know what was best," I murmured, sitting down on the couch.

"Tali, come on," Shepard began, taking a seat on the couch beside me. "I don't care what some admiral thinks. What do you think?"

"I think that I had friends die on Haestrom. And everyone who died was good at their jobs. That data better be worth it." Shepard wrapped an arm around me.

"I'm sorry. What would even cause the sun to destabilize so soon?"

"I don't even have a definitive answer. Just a guess. Dark energy. Look, let's just move on. What have you been up to since we last spoke?"

"Well, picking up Jack and Grunt first off. The Blue Suns on Purgatory tried to double cross us. Forced us into a firefight through that prison ship. Freed Jack, and she went on her own little rampage. End of the mission, ship blew up."

"How many missions have we all been on that end in an explosion?"

"Too many, that's for sure. So, getting Grunt, we were actually after a Warlord Okeer on Korlus. Saw a Quarian ship in the sky there also," he added.

"Must have been one of our salvage ships. They occasionally go to Korlus for scrap metal."

"Right. So, Okeer was in the company of the Blue Suns. Including this psycho egomaniac, Jedore. She wanted a Krogan army. Okeer was cloning them. Looking for the perfect Krogan. Jedore had his rejects. Curiously, the rejects never fought my team and I. The suns on the other hand? Different story. Krogan were already fighting them, target practice and the such. Krogan were getting rowdy though. We fought through the Suns to Okeer's lab, and agreed to help him get himself and his successful perfect Krogan out. Jedore caught wind, went to poison the room and specimens, including the perfect one. Crew and I took down Jedore, but Okeer succumbed to the poison. So, we took the specimen. Decided to wake him up on board, and he put up a surprising fight. Named himself Grunt, agreed to join us for good fights."

"How very Krogan of him," I chuckled.

"You could say that. Finally, an op on Horizon. Collectors were making a move. Long story short, TIM used not only the Colony, but an old friend as bait. Kaidan was there. Cerberus did a long-term con that drew Kaidan there, and word got to the Collectors and they went after him on the colony. Lot of Colonists didn't make it out. We helped who we could, sent the Collectors running, but still."

"Keelah, what about Kaidan?"

"He made it out. Met up, talked. It wasn't the friendliest resolution, but, there was an understanding."

"That's good, at least. It would be nice to see him again."

"I'm hoping he'll be around when we get to the Citadel. Sure he'd be happy to see you." I nodded, grinning, and attached the sealed water bottle to the port. Seconds later, the suction tube extended just far enough inside my mask that with a bit of effort, I could get the tube inside my mouth and drink. Shepard and I sat in silence, drinking. Enjoying one another's company. His arm still around my shoulders. So, I leaned my head against his. He took and released a deep breath.

"So. I guess there's no point beating around the bush anymore, huh? Or denying it?" Well, there comes the blush. And the hand wringing. Keelah.

"I… guess not…"

"I mean, we are talking about the same thing, right? Just, feel like we need to actually put it in words now."

"Well, you did say no more denying it," I mumbled.

"So…" Shepard released a deep breath. "Guess I'll go first. Alright. Hoo boy… Tali, I… really… shit," he chuckled. "Take on a fucking Geth invasion force but clam and freeze up when telling your crush you like her."

"Your… crush?"

"Yeah, guess I did let that slip," Shepard rubbed the back of his head.

"Well… you're also… mine," I curled up onto the couch. Embarrassed. Shepard released another deep breath.

"Well, that's good to hear. Do you… want to give this, us, a shot?"

"I…" My mind was racing. What if I take away his focus for the mission? Does he understand how difficult it will be for us to be… intimate? Even just to show him my face? It would be so much easier for him to just be with a human. Or… literally anyone else from any other species.

And beyond that… my people. Father would view it as a betrayal to the Quarian race, being with an outsider. It won't produce any children for the fleet

"Shepard, you deserve better."

"Tali, what are you talking about?" he questioned, confused. "I deserve better than exactly who I want?"

"Shepard, don't you understand how difficult it would be? For you? This… damn suit, you won't feel me, you'll feel the suit! You won't see me, you'll see my mask! You deserve a real woman, not some… some suit rat," I shook his arm off of me, balling myself up on the couch. The tears began to pour.

"Have I ever told you how much I hate that phrase? It's bullshit. You're a helluva lot more than your suit, you know that." Shepard put a hand on my shoulder again. "I don't care about the suit, I don't care about the mask…" his other hand gently took hold of my chin and pulled it up so we were face to face. "I care about you."

Keelah.

I wrapped my arms around him, pressing my face into his chest. His arms returned the favor, and I felt one gently rubbing the small of my back.

"I want to try this with you, Tali. I want to try being with you. For you. Anything else? Just a bonus."

"...I watched you for so long. I wished for this for so long. I never thought you'd see past… this," I gestured to my mask.

"So, you want to give it a go?" I took a deep breath.

"What of the fleet? If it works, it means I won't… produce children for the fleet."

"So? This is your love life you're talking about. Out of all things, it's the one thing that should absolutely, entirely, be one's own choice just for one's own benefit. Not that of others. The one thing people should be selfish for." he argued. I kinda had a hard time thinking of an argument.

"Shepard… if we do go through with this… the suit won't be enough. Nerve stim… I can't do that. I need something real."

"And… what does that mean?"

"That means… someday… no mask. No suit. And I feel your skin on mine." I gently rubbed my hand on his chest. Just, imagining.

"I see. And, uh, anything I can do to help with that?"

"Mordin might actually be the best bet. Enough immunoboosters, decontamination, and it would be safe. At least, for a while. Beyond that, I could adapt."

"I'll follow whatever pace you set." I took another deep breath.

"Thank you, Shepard."

"Tali… it feels wrong for my… girlfriend, damn, that feels weird," he chuckled, and I blushed harder. Commander Shepard is… my boyfriend. "It feels wrong for my girlfriend to call me by my last name." I looked back up to him. "Call me John." I smiled.

"John," I tested the feel of his name. "I like it."