AUTHOR'S NOTE: Almost forgot to get this chapter up tonight. My bad. But it's done, a bit on the shorter side, but things are developing. And I'm developing to 20 on the 20th. Neat. The whoops 'chapter' about missing the upload will be going down later.

The Illusive Man

This was not the desired outcome. While Henry Allgood is again in talks with Cerberus to secure our funding, a demand that I may be able to talk him out of, for now, is another lead on Oriana. Of course, I know where she and her family are off to, but with how heavily Lawson has closed her net on that information, that's not information I can provide without giving her a reason to implicate me. I may be willing to reconsider her value to my organization after the Collector threat has been neutralized. Besides, if she dies, a corpse has no value to me. However, while Lawson performed as she was trained to, I had gambled on Niket either keeping his changed loyalties disguised or at least killed by Eclipse if he began to crack. And now, any progress Shepard and Operative Lawson had built towards trust was all but severed. While I heavily suspect that Lawson will remain grateful to have had Shepard's aid in rescuing Oriana, the Commander now views her as a killer and likely reverted to viewing her as a tool of Cerberus. This may be the truth, but not one for Shepard to focus on. Ironic, considering the Assassin and Mercenary he is cooperative with among the crew. To say nothing of the Juvenile Krogan or merciless Justicar. He surrounds himself with killers and tools yet due to Lawson's ties to my organization, she is the only one he views negatively.

I took a long drag of my cigarette, followed by a gulp of whiskey, the light of a massive star behind me in my office. I suppose I have no choice now but to wait and see what develops.

Miranda Lawson

It had been a full twenty-four hours since we had kept my sister out of our father's hands. Since I had spoken to her for the first time. And since I had killed Niket. Despite how relieved I am that Ori is safe and thankful to the Tur… Garrus, for encouraging me to speak with her. And yet, I just feel numb. Part of me keeps saying that I had no choice, another that he didn't need to die. That just talking a few minutes longer. Niket didn't pose an immediate threat. But he was a leak of vital information. I shot him dead like I did Wilson back after Shepard woke up. Like so many others before him. Like I was trained to do. Yet Niket was the first to get me to… react. At all. I suppose that's hardly surprising; he was the only one I had ever killed I had a true connection with. And of course, something else he said stuck with me still. Stinging. 'For everything about the man that you so fervently hate, why are you so insufferably similar?' He would have shot Niket, wouldn't he? Without hesitation. He'd keep the same secrets, from people just as trusted. If he even can trust. And yet again, Shepard is right. For all the trust I did put into Niket, I didn't trust him enough to tell him about Oriana until I needed his help with her.

But isn't that my training? How to properly handle confidential information to ensure that it stays confidential? Why did it seemingly betray me this time?

Because that's a business practice. It works in organizations to safeguard statistical information. Not moral quandaries involving the life of a young woman. And especially not with your oldest and most trusted friend that you once called something more than a friend. Just like your father, you view everything like a business transaction. Even your visits to 'dating' sites are treated as a business meeting. You're more of a cold and calculating machine born out of a test tube than you are human. And no matter how much you try not to be, again and again, you prove yourself capable of carrying on your father's filthy fucking legacy.

Sitting at my desk, I stared down my breathing halting. God… how did I let this happen to myself? When I fled from my father, I wanted to do everything different than him. I put my life into Cerberus because I was doing something for far more than just petty self-interest, but all of Humanity. Regardless of any doubts, Shepard tries to give me, that was still my motivation. Yet it seems despite my good intentions, my methods have shifted to be nearly identical to those of my father. And…

Say it. You know it's true. After all this time you've realized. You made the connection. You can't unmake it.

...And Cerberus has encouraged those methods. For better or worse, the same methods as my father, maybe that's why I excelled because I was already… hard-wired to be like him. My heart sank. My mouth went dry. I felt my stomach clench, threatening to expel my lunch. The dam in my mind was cracking.

If Cerberus trains for the same behavior, the same mentalities, what else do they do that's the same? After all, he views that rabid dog Kai Leng as his top assassin. Unquestioning blind loyalty, dogmatic. Just as you have been. You know what that dog is capable of, and that the Illusive Man overlooks it because of the value he believes Leng provides. What else is The Illusive Man willing to allow, or even encourage if it seems valuable enough? I stood firm by the claim that the exposure of Human colonists to Dragon's Teeth to observe indoctrination and… justification to be the actions of a rogue cell. That the moral abomination that it was outweighed the value. Father wouldn't have thought so. Perhaps Cerberus didn't either. Akuze? The experiments Shepard uncovered on Noveria? He claimed Cerberus had a hand in those. Resurrecting the Rachni to be an expendable army of drones and developing bioweapons. I can see the practical value, but the risks were great. But Cerberus took some, transporting them? Seeding them near an Alliance outpost? Would it have been meant as a field test? Then what value in repeating the Akuze experiment? It revealed themselves to Kahoku and then killed him by experimenting on him, then throwing his body to be food for other test subjects. Again, all of these stories I had believed to be rogue cells if Cerberus at all. But my father is far from above such twisted experimentations. With what they already share with my father, and regardless of intents to better humanity… what stops Cerberus from doing such atrocities themselves? If everyone is trained to be a cold-blooded machine and killer, morality becomes a minor concern.

Oh god…

The door to my office opened, snapping my attention away from my fracturing mind to my surroundings. And the person to step through the door, wearing a smirk, was arguably the last person I expected to see. Jack. And why was she wearing that smirk?

"Cheerleader," the door closed behind her, her arms crossed over her close-to-bare chest

"What do you want, Jack?" I asked, releasing a pent up breath.

"Just wanted to come and see the killer for myself," she mocked. "Who'd have fucking thought. Between the two of us. You were the one to gun down the poor and defenseless, All that shit you talked," her smirk grew wider. Of course, this happens now. I'll just not respond, not give her the pleasure. "Don't you remember? How I was the unruly criminal, the psychopath. While you and the rest of the crew were all the sane and just and benevolent. Funny how that's worked out isn't it?" She'll go away. "And he helped you out big time, didn't he? Saved your life, or something like that? Must have owed him big. Guess not enough to let him live, huh? What was he to you anyway? Old friend? Maybe your boyfriend."

"Just stop," I murmured.

"You know how many times I asked, hell, begged the same fucking thing to Cerberus on Pragia? In case you can't tell, that never exactly worked. A little girl begging for the big bad men to stop putting needles in me. Stop cutting me open. To stop beating me. And here you are, a grown woman absorbed by her own 'perfection,'" she mocked. "Just asking for the mean lady to stop saying mean words hurting her feelings. Oh, you certainly deserve a break more than I ever did."

"Get out," I growled.

"Don't feel like it. Admit what Cerberus did to me was wrong. Not that bullshit about it being a rogue cell." I flared my biotics as a warning, standing from my desk.

"Touch me, and I will smear the walls with you, murdering cheerleader bitch." With my biotics, I pushed her back towards the door, taking the time that put her off balance to stand on the other side of my desk, closer to the external hull. I heard the door to my office open, but I was staring down Jack as she, snarling, took one of the office chairs and flung it at me. I simply sidestepped as it impacted the wall.

"Stand the fuck down, both of you!" a voice boomed, furious. Shepard.

"Cheerleader won't admit what Cerberus did to me was wrong," Jack crossed her arms over her chest again. Naturally, she came to me intending to antagonize. Though I did let my composure break.

"It wasn't Cerberus. Not in truth," I closed my eyes for a moment. That same voice talking to me earlier scoffed.

You don't really believe that anymore. Damn it get out of my head.

"But clearly you were a mistake." Jack had begun pacing back and forth, but at that, spun on a dime, staring me down, jabbing an accusing finger at me. Admittedly, that didn't come out as I meant.

"Fuck you, bitch! Maybe-"

"I. Said. Enough. Both of you. Shut the fuck up. And listen," Shepard demanded. "You two want to keep hating each other, fine. But in case you've forgotten, there's only a few billion lives on the line with this mission. So, unless you both want to find your asses booted off of my ship, unless you don't want to do some goddamn good for this galaxy, be adults, and put it the fuck aside. You don't have to talk to each other, you don't even have to look at each other. But so long as you are on my ship, so long as you are a member of my team, you won't be trying to kill each other. I am running a military ship here, not a fucking kindergarten. Do I make myself clear?!" he ended with a shout.

"Sir, yes sir," I answered.

"Fine," Jack.

"That is not the proper response to your Commanding Officer, Jack. Try again." Jack twitched, angry.

"Sir. Yes. Sir." She managed.

"Good. Now get the fuck out. I'll deal with you later." Jack stormed out of my office as I remained in place. The door closed behind Shepard and he pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. "I don't care that Jack initiated this. I'm still fucking pissed. At you and her. Tell me what the hell this was about." I took a deep breath, looking down as I returned to my seat at my desk.

"Niket. She came in, taunting me about how she could show mercy. But I couldn't. Throwing my own words towards her back at me."

"And?"

"And… it just so happened a lot of what she's said is rather similar to the thoughts that have been running through my head."

Shepard relaxed, but only ever so slightly.

"I can't say you don't deserve it, Miranda. Not for that. But it wasn't right of Jack, nor her place. Lock your door, and keep thinking hard about it, about yourself. We're en route to see if Jacob's father is still alive. Maybe call him down to chat. I figure he was your moral compass anyways." Without anything more, Shepard turned and left.