I walked down the stairs.
A bunch of presents were under the tree.
"Christmas morning."
"Merry Christmas, Kevin." It was Dad.
"Merry Christmas, Dad!"
He chuckled, picking me up.
"Hey!"
"Peter, are you ready to go?"
"Go? Go where?"
Natalie walked down the stairs.
Dad sighed.
He put me back on the floor.
"Kevin, Natalie and I gotta go pick up the Royal family right now."
"Now? But aren't we gonna open presents?"
"It's gonna have to wait till we get back."
"But it's Christmas." I pointed out.
"And why do you both have to go?" I questioned.
"Look, you know how sometimes you gotta do things you don't wanna do?" Dad inquired.
I nodded my head.
"This is one of those times."
"Hey, we'll be back before you know it, okay?" He questioned.
I nodded my head.
"And I'm sure nothing will happen while we're gone. Am I right?" Natalie questioned.
"Right."
"Good."
She walked away.
"Hang in there. We won't be long."
Dad kissed me on the cheek.
He walked away.
"Door, open." Natalie commanded.
The door opened for her.
"Merry Christmas, Kevin." Natalie greeted.
I flopped down on the couch.
The door shut.
"Merry Christmas."
Marv
My phone rang.
I grabbed it off the dashboard.
I sighed, answering it.
"Hello?"
I threw the blanket off myself.
"No, we're awake."
"It wasn't me!" Vera yelled when she put her seat up.
"Shh!" I told her.
"Alright. We're on our way."
I hung up.
"Oy. Sure makes me nervous." I expressed.
"Let's go, pookie." I ordered.
We got out of the van.
We approached the house.
Kevin
I watched Marv and Vera get out of their van and approach the house with my telescope.
"I knew it. Here they come."
They were fighting over who walks in front.
"First step: Eliminate the inside man."
"Oh, Mr. Prescott?" I called.
"Mr. Prescott, are you in there?"
I was pounding on his door.
"Yes." Prescott answered, opening the door.
"Mr. Prescott, can you help me with something?"
"And what would that be? Another milkshake, perhaps?"
"No. A bottle of Wine."
"Excuse me?"
"Natalie said we need to get some Wine from the Basement for the Royal family."
"If we must."
He grabbed the keys.
"So, I guess you're right. We're not gonna have any snow this Christmas."
"One can never go wrong with low expectations."
"You know, Mr. Prescott, it's been great spending time with you these last few days."
"Time flies when you're having fun."
"I know we got off to a bad start, but things can be better. Much better."
Prescott unlocked the Wine cellar.
He walked down the stairs.
"Cause you're down there and I'm up here."
"Come here."
I shut the door.
I locked it.
Prescott was pounding on the door.
"Young man, open this door! Let me out of here!"
I almost ran into Molly in the Kitchen.
"Oh!" She commented, stopping me from running into her.
"Oh, boy! Am I glad to see you?! The kidnappers are coming but this time I'm one step ahead of them. And I locked their accomplice in the Basement. Is this a perfect plan or what?"
"It would be, dear, except for one thing- Prescott is not their accomplice."
Molly leaned down to be eye level with me.
"I am."
I stared at her.
I gasped.
"You're- You're the inside man?"
The lock buzzed and clicked.
"I'm afraid so."
"Hey, Mom." Marv greeted.
We looked over at them.
They waved.
"We're here."
"Oh, yeah. Yeah."
They walked away.
"Mom?" He's your son?"
"I told you he was a handful."
"Aah! Hey! Get off of me!" I screamed as Molly grabbed me.
"Oh, now, come on!"
She put me down the Wine cellar.
Prescott and me were walking around the Wine cellar.
"Isn't there a trapdoor or something?"
"No. Not much demand for them in a Wine cellar."
"Guess you're right."
"Got any good ideas?" I questioned.
"Not a one."
I sat at the table down here.
He joined me.
Prescott sighed.
He turned to face me.
"I do have a cell phone though."
"Perfect! May I?"
"Sure."
"Thanks."
I called our house.
"Hello, Buzz?"
"Kevin, is that you?"
"Yeah. I'm calling from a cell phone."
"Oh, a cell phone. Good for you, puke-face. Is that another present she gave you?" He questioned.
"What a showoff." Buzz commented.
He hung up.
"I'll try again."
I called the house again.
"Buzz, before you hang up, I need to tell you something. I need to talk to Mom."
"Okay. You told me."
He hung up again.
"I'll try again later."
I sat the phone down on the table.
Prescott sighed.
"Why in Heaven's name did you think I was the inside man?"
"Well, if you hadn't acted so strange, I wouldn't have thought you were... So strange." I answered.
"And where were you the first time these guys broke in? Why didn't you answer the intercom? Why did you shut off the cameras?" I fired questions at him.
"I didn't. But if those thugs were using Molly's remote, they could've turned off the whole security system."
"But why'd you say I was lying?"
"Well, because I thought you were. And besides, I didn't want Miss. Natalie to know that I'd been... Well, napping on the job."
I stared at Prescott.
"That woman. If she could work me 24 hours a day, she would. It's downright inhuman, so whenever she's not here, I, uh-"
"You take advantage."
"I take a break. A nice, well-deserved break. With all the cameras and intercoms turned off, I didn't notice anything. So, I-"
"You were covering your "whoo-hoo!"
He chuckled.
"Precisely."
"You want to try calling your Mom again?" Prescott questioned.
"Sure."
Kate
The phone in the Kitchen was ringing.
I took it out of its receiver.
I answered it.
Kevin
"Hello?"
"Mom?"
"Kevin!"
Kate
I heard static on the other side.
"Wait. Kevin, I can't hear you."
Kevin
"That's probably cause I'm locked in a Wine cellar."
Kate
"No, I- Honey, I can't hear you. There's too much static."
Kevin
"I'm locked in Natalie's Wine cellar!"
Kate
"Are you calling to say Merry Christmas?"
Kevin
"Mom, are you there?"
Kate
"Sweetheart?"
Kevin
"Are you there, Mom?"
Kate
"Kevin?"
Kevin
"Mom? Mom?"
I hung up.
"Oh, great! The battery's dead."
I put the phone down on the table.
We both sighed.
Kate
"Hmm."
I grabbed the list of numbers Peter gave me.
I called their house.
Molly
The house phone rang.
I answered it.
"Kalban residence." I greeted.
"Hi. This is Kate McCallister, Kevin's Mom. May I speak to him, please?"
"Kevin's not here right now."
"That's strange. He just called."
"Really? Well, he's out with his father and Miss. Natalie."
"Oh. Oh, he must have called from his Dad's cell phone. Well, that explains the line going dead. Okay. Thank you."
Kate hung up.
"Little rascal called his mother."
"You want me to go show him who's boss?"
"Sit down, Marv. You're not the boss. I'm the boss."
"Okay." He answered meekly.
"His cell phone is dead. I don't think he'll be anymore trouble."
Marv put one arm around my shoulders and the other around Vera's.
"No."
He moved them.
Marv picked up a container of cookies.
"Cookie."
Peter
My phone rang.
"Oh!"
I answered it.
"Hello?"
"Peter, it's me. I'm calling Kevin back. We got disconnected."
"Kevin? Kevin's not with me. He's- He's back at Natalie's house."
"Really?" Kate questioned.
"I was just told he's with you."
"Well- Well, don't worry, Kate. I mean, I'm sure everything's fine."
"Okay."
"Wow. That's weird."
I hung up.
"Someone told Kate that Kevin's with us."
"Hmm."
"Maybe I better go back and check on him."
"No. That's exactly what he wants. Peter, he's manipulating you. Can't you see the pattern? Every time we leave the house, he pulls something. He's just trying to get your attention and sabotage me."
Kevin
I pounded on the Basement door.
"Hello! Anybody out there? Hello!"
I kicked the door.
I walked back down the stairs.
"There's gotta be something that we can do to get outta here."
I joined Prescott at the table.
"There is."
He stood up.
"Help me move these boxes."
"Okay."
I stood up.
"But what's back there?"
"Definitely not a dumb question."
"The dumbwaiter!"
"Bingo."
He handed boxes to me.
"Let's hope it still works."
"I'm sorry I misjudged you, Mr. Prescott."
Prescott smiled at me.
"Likewise."
He laughed.
"I'll never forget Miss. Natalie's reaction when she came home and saw what you'd done to the house."
Prescott handed me two more boxes.
I placed them on the floor.
He was rapidly panting.
I wheezed.
I laughed.
"I do love watching her hyperventilate!"
Prescott laughed.
"It's one of the few pleasures of this job."
"If you hate this job, why don't you quit?"
He scoffed.
"Jobs aren't that easy to come by. Besides, I could end up working for someone far worse."
Prescott handed me a big box.
I sat it on the floor with the others.
"You shouldn't stay someplace you hate just cause you're scared. Life's too short."
He humphed.
"And... Voila." Prescott said, uncovering the dumbwaiter.
"Let's see if you fit."
He picked me up.
I sat in the dumbwaiter.
"As soon as I get up, I'm gonna let you out."
"You just take care of yourself, you hear?"
Prescott pressed the button.
The dumbwaiter moved upwards.
It was the next opening in the Kitchen.
Molly, Marv, or Vera weren't in the Kitchen.
I was scooting out.
"I'm telling ya. I heard something." It was Marv.
I hit the up button.
Marv
"Alright. Stay very alert here, Vera."
Vera nodded her head.
"I tell you what. Why don't you go down, check out the Wine cellar?" I suggested.
"Okay."
"Yeah. There you go."
She ran off.
"Down here!" It was Kevin.
I ran over to the dumbwaiter.
"You better stay-"
Kevin
I had hit the down button.
The metal plate had landed on Marv's neck.
"Oww!"
I slid out of the dumbwaiter.
"Vera! Ow! Aah! Vera!" He called.
I stood on the step ladder behind the open door.
Vera ran back into the Kitchen.
"What? Ooh!"
"Hit the button!"
"Hang on, baby!"
She grunted, trying to yank Marv free.
"Oh! No, no! Hit the button!"
"What? I can't hear you."
"Hit the button!"
"Oh!"
Vera hit the down button.
"Oww!" He yelled.
"No, no! Not that one! The other button!" Marv yelled.
He had put his left hand on the metal plate.
She pushed the up button.
"That's it!" Marv said, getting up.
His hand got stuck in the dumbwaiter.
Marv screamed.
He pushed the down button.
"Hey!" Marv said, retracting his hand.
"Man!" He commented, holding his hand.
"Over here!" I called.
Vera and Marv looked over.
I released the pan on the string.
She ducked.
It hit him in the face, sending him on the floor.
I laughed.
Vera got hit in the head as the pan swung backwards.
Molly walked in the Kitchen.
"Hi, Mommy." Marv greeted.
I gasped.
I ran out of the Kitchen.
Molly
I grabbed a pan off the Kitchen counter.
I ran out of the Kitchen after Kevin.
He ran up the stairs.
I got in the elevator.
Kevin
"Yes!" I said as the elevator stopped.
Molly was clicking buttons.
"See ya!"
I ran away.
"Door, open!" I ordered.
My door opened.
Peter
Natalie's Limo arrived at the airport.
I got out.
"Natalie, you go get the Royals. I'm gonna go back and check on Kevin."
"What, now?"
"Yeah. Something's up. I can sense it. Maybe you have to be a parent."
"That's not fair. You know how much I care about kids."
"How much do you care about my kid?"
She looked down.
I shut the Limo door.
"Taxi!"
I got in a Taxi.
Prescott
I looked up the dumbwaiter entrance.
"Kevin? Are you alright?" I called.
There was no response.
I climbed into the dumbwaiter.
I was climbing up the dumbwaiter.
Kate
I was speeding to Natalie's house.
I had Buzz and Meg in the van.
"Mom, do you think you could slow down a little bit?" Buzz questioned.
"Kevin's probably fine." He pointed out.
"You just keep an eye out for Cops, okay?"
Marv
"Alright, Vera. Go check out the Living Room." I ordered.
"See if he's in there, alright?" I questioned.
Vera headed into the Living Room.
I was walking up the stairs.
"God! I can't believe this. I shoulda gone to College. Two years. Coulda been a dental technician. Two years!"
Mom banged on the elevator door.
"Marv! He's in the bedroom!"
"Mom?"
"Get him!"
I ran to Kevin's bedroom door.
"Door, open."
His door opened.
I walked in.
I looked around Kevin's room.
I saw brown boots sticking out from underneath the bed.
"Gotcha." I whispered.
I approached his bed.
I grabbed Kevin by his feet.
It appeared to just be his boots connected to a string.
"Uuh!" I commented, falling on the floor.
"Aah!" I yelled as a white dresser came down on me.
"Ooh!"
Kevin
"Door, close."
My bedroom door closed.
I ran across the dresser.
I switched out Marv's remote.
I moved the speaker.
Vera
I headed upstairs.
"Hey, Molly!" I greeted Molly, who was in the elevator.
"Get in there!"
I ran to Kevin's bedroom door.
"Marv, honey. You in there?"
"Shut up, Vera!"
"Well, okay. I was just trying to-"
"Shut up, you moron."
"Hey. I'm no moron, you jerk."
"Shut up, ya bag!"
"Door, open!" I ordered.
The door opened.
Marv
I had managed to get out from underneath the white dresser.
I stumbled backwards.
Vera walked in.
She slapped me across the face.
"What's wrong with you?" I questioned.
"What's wrong with you?" Vera questioned.
"I'm no bag. And you know what? You ain't no genius!"
"Vera, honey-"
"No! Don't "Vera, honey" me! You're not even as smart as this kid. Who, in case you hadn't noticed, is totally kicking our butts! Well, from now on, I am my own boss!"
Vera snapped her fingers in front of my face.
She walked out of the room.
"Vera. Vera, honey-"
"Don't "honey" me!"
"Pumpkin. Pumpkin."
Vera was angrily walking down the stairs.
"Marv!"
I looked over at Mom in the elevator.
"Forget about her! Get the kid! I'll be outta here in a few minutes."
She held up a chain.
I stared at a giant airplane coming at me.
"Oh!" I commented, as it hit me there.
I fell sideways down the stairs.
She was still walking down the stairs.
Kevin laughed.
"Whoa!" Vera commented as she landed on top of me.
We landed at the bottom of the steps like that.
We were both groaning.
He slid down the banister.
Kevin had hit into us as he got off the banister.
"Hey! Hey!" I yelled as he ran into the Living Room.
Kevin stood in front of a bookcase.
"Open sesame."
It spun around.
It was a Bar on the other side.
"Well, get a load of that." I commented.
"Holy majolie!" Vera commented.
"Come on, Vera!"
We walked into the Living Room.
"Alright! Come on out, kid!" I ordered.
It was budging as she pushed on it.
"Ah! Alright."
I pulled the remote out.
"Open Bar."
It buzzed.
"Open bookshelf."
It buzzed.
"Open- Open book-Bar."
It buzzed.
"Open book Bar shelf."
It buzzed.
"Open- Open book Bar thing."
It buzzed.
"Open sesame." Vera ordered.
"That's stupid." I commented.
"Whoa!" I commented as it spun around.
"Who's stupid now, stupid?"
"Hey, come on. Just get off me, alright?"
"I'm gonna take care of everything." I pointed out.
Kevin
I ran over to the couch.
I sat on the couch.
"Bar, revolve sesame." I ordered.
Marv
The thing was moving.
"Watch this. It's all gonna be fine."
"Bar, stop."
It was spinning.
"Oh! It's going faster!" Vera pointed out.
"Yeah, I know, Vera. I know it's going faster."
Kevin
"Speed faster, sesame." I ordered.
Marv
"Okay. The Wife's not feeling-"
Kevin
"Faster, sesame!" I ordered.
It went faster.
Both of them were screaming.
"Maximum speed, sesame." I ordered.
It started going really fast.
I was laughing.
"Stop, sesame." I ordered.
I gasped, ducking as they flew off the bookshelf.
Marv
Vera and me grabbed ahold of the chandelier in the foyer as we flew off the bookshelf.
I screamed as I fell off the chandelier.
I landed on the floor.
"Nice jump, Marv." She commented.
Kevin laughed as I groaned.
I stood up.
Vera's coat ripped.
"Ooh!"
She gasped as she fell.
"Oof!" I commented as Vera landed on me.
Kevin
Marv and Vera were knocked out.
I stood in front of the steps.
"Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night."
Molly grabbed my chin.
"Good night."
I grunted as she almost hit me in the head with a pan.
"Aah!" Molly commented as she was hit in the head with something.
I looked back.
It was Prescott.
"Mr. Prescott!"
"At your service."
He flipped the tray.
"Boy, am I glad to see you."
Prescott chuckled.
"Perhaps we should call the Police."
"Good idea, Mr. Prescott."
"Just "Prescott" to you."
He walked away.
"Prescott."
Peter
The Taxi pulled up in front of Natalie's house.
Kate pulled into the driveway behind the Taxi.
I got out of the Taxi after paying the driver.
Kate got out of the van along with Buzz and Meg.
"I thought you said you weren't worried." She told me.
"I don't know. I just had a feeling." I replied.
We headed up the steps to the front door.
"Door, open." I ordered.
Kevin
Marv and Vera were groaning as they woke up.
"Kevin!" It was Dad.
"Dad!"
The doors opened.
"Mom!"
"Mom?"
"Who are they?" Buzz questioned.
"Uh-oh!" Vera commented.
"Let's get outta here!" Marv ordered.
"Around the back!" I said.
"We're on it. Let's go!" Buzz told Meg.
"Kevin!" Mom yelled as I chased them to the back door.
They tripped Marv and Vera.
They went flying into bushes in the backyard.
"Ooh-ooh!" Buzz commented.
"Yes!" I commented.
Marv groaned as Buzz sat on him.
Meg sat on Vera.
"Yeah! Way to go, guys!" I cheered, high-fiving them.
Peter
"Kevin! Kevin!" Kate called his name as she ran out the back door.
"Mom!"
Kevin ran over.
"Oh, honey! I'm so glad you're alright."
"Ohh!"
I was behind her.
I picked Kevin up.
We were holding him between us.
I had my arm wrapped around Kevin and Kate.
"I am now!"
"I'm so sorry I didn't believe you."
"Mmm!"
Prescott cleared his throat.
We looked over at him.
"The Police have been summoned."
Natalie
"I've got lots of fun planned for your stay."
"Can we go to Wrigley Field? And the aquarium? Do you have any kids?" The Prince fired questions.
"No. But I promise we'll have a very exciting time."
Sirens wailed as Police cars passed us.
"Cool!"
Marv
"Oh, come on. No. Prison's not so bad." I told Vera.
"Oh, yeah?" She questioned.
"Yeah. On Thursday, you get Salisbury steak."
"Yeah. I know about Prison. That's where I met you."
"Calm down, calm down."
"You calm down."
"Women, eh?" I questioned the Officer.
"Yeah."
"Hey. Don't touch me."
Peter
Natalie arrived in her Limo.
"Peter! What's he done now?" She questioned, getting out.
"Well, he saved the day, that's what. You should be thanking him."
The Royal family got out of the Limo.
A Detective was leading Molly out.
"Molly? What in the world is going on?" Natalie questioned.
"It seems they were gonna kidnap the Prince. Best we can gather, she's the boss." The Detective answered her.
"She's my maid. I'm her boss!" Natalie replied.
She was put into a Police cruiser.
"Well, looks like you're gonna have to find a new maid." Kevin told her.
"And a new butler, I'm afraid. I resign." Prescott added.
"Resign? But... Why?" Natalie questioned.
"Because as a wise young man once said, "Life's too short."
They fist-bumped.
"Peter, do something." She told me.
I looked back at Kate.
"Alright. Here goes."
I stepped in front of Natalie.
"Natalie... I think I mistook infatuation and excitement for love."
She crossed her arms against her chest.
"Look. This- This- This is your world. It's not mine." I told Natalie, motioning to the house.
"I mean, the whole time I was here, all I did was miss my family."
I turned around to face Kate, Buzz, Meg, and Kevin.
"I'm in love with my Wife and kids and I belong with them."
Kevin smiled.
Buzz and Meg smiled at each other.
"And I wanna come home. I mean, I understand if you need time to think about it. I..."
Kate looked down at the kids.
"Mom?" Kevin called.
She approached me.
"Oh!"
We hugged.
Kate was crying.
"I love you." She told me.
"I love you." I told Kate.
Natalie rolled her eyes.
"Young man, how are we ever going to show you our gratitude?" Carmelina questioned.
"Would your family like to spend Christmas with our family?" Kevin suggested.
I stood next to her.
"That sounds cool." The Prince answered.
"Is that okay?" He questioned.
I chuckled.
"Yes."
"You're going to be with them? Today? On Christmas?" She questioned.
Natalie was crying.
Prescott handed her a brown paper bag.
"Thank you."
Natalie breathed into it.
"Music, on." He ordered.
Holiday music played.
"Snow, fall." Kevin ordered.
Snow fell.
"Ha ha! Hey!" I commented, picking him up.
"I knew this was gonna be the best Christmas ever!"
We were all shouting.