A/N All characters belong to the writers and creators of The Walking Dead. Except those that arose from my own twisted imagination.
And an apology goes out for those that read Chapter 29 before I fixed it. (Thank you to hideher & Dalongega Noquisi for pointing out that I had forgotten a crucial bit of information.) I had accidently edited out the twins' age. The boys are/were 7 years old.
Chapter 30-The Kids Are Alright
"How's he doing?" Andrea sat down next to Carol as she held Dylan in her lap. The little boy's eyes were vacant, his thumb in his mouth. He had not moved since his father had shot himself. Carol shrugged.
"I don't know. Alice and Hershel looked him over and said he's in shock. I'm just trying to keep him warm until we can go back inside." Andrea nodded.
"They've been in there for over an hour. How long do you think it will take before we can get back in?" Carol shook her head and smoothed Dylan's hair as the boy began to whimper.
"Even if they've cleared the cellblock, Rick won't let anyone back inside until he knows it's safe." She shushed Dylan. "It's ok baby. It'll be alright." Andrea touched the little boy's hand.
"He lost everyone at once. His brother too, his identical twin brother. That's got to be hard." Alice walked back over and knelt down by Carol. She felt Dylan's pulse and nodded.
"He's coming out of it but we'll have to keep a close eye on him." Carol smiled at her.
"It's nice having a nurse here." Alice smiled and blinked back tears.
"It's things like this that made me leave the trauma room. Five years of seeing gunshot wounds and stabbings and people crushed in car wrecks, I couldn't take it anymore. Six years in OB was a cakewalk after that. Hardly any death, mostly pure joy, long hours of course but…it was a nice break." She looked over at Bill who was going over the prison plans with Dani. "Bill blames himself for not getting the back of the prison secured. He thinks if he had then we could have cleared out the rest of the prison and the boys wouldn't have had the chance to get into this mess."
"It's not his fault," said Andrea. "If Mark had told someone the keys were missing, we would have found them last night." Carol held Dylan tight as he began to tremble and his whimpering grew louder.
"I don't think we need to talk about this in front of him." The three women sat in silence. Rachel sat apart from them, keeping her two children close. Hershel and Beth tried to get the daily chores done but they kept looking at the closed door to the prison. Bill and Dani were still going over the plans, trying to figure out what to do to fully secure the property. Bill pointed to the area where the fence was completely destroyed.
"We need to get some heavy equipment back there to salvage those bricks. Rick said something about there being concrete bags back there. We could rebuild the wall with the bricks." Dani frowned.
"And where do you plan on finding this heavy equipment?" Bill sighed.
"Dammit I don't know Dani. We've got to do something though or this will happen again." Dani put her hand on his shoulder.
"Bill, this wasn't your fault." Bill drew in a deep breath.
"This is my job Dani. Do you understand? This is what I do. I could make the US Embassy in Tunisia capable of being locked down within ten seconds with just the push of a button. I retrofitted a British duke's country estate to be strong enough to withstand a mortar attack. I designed and built the most secure housing development in the United States for the rich and politically connected in northern Virginia. I hold three patents on bomb and bullet resistant glass and metal. But I can't keep walking corpses from killing people I care about because I can't fix a goddamn fence!" He pushed the plans off the table, stood up and started pacing.
"Bill…" Dani started to speak but Bill held up his hand.
"Danielle, don't. Please. Ok? I just…I just need some time to think." He walked away from the table to the far side of the yard where a number of walkers were gathered at the fence. As he passed by the tent they had built for the tools he grabbed a crowbar. Once at the fence, he unleashed his rage, his frustration and his guilt out on the walkers. Alice hurried over to Dani.
"Is he ok?" Dani nodded.
"He'll be alright. He just needs to let it all out." She glanced at Alice. "Y'all haven't had a big loss in a while have you?" Alice shook her head and Dani nodded. "We've lost a lot of people. It doesn't get easier but the first one is the hardest." The door to the prison opened and Michonne, Glenn, Maggie and Carl emerged, blinking in the sunlight. Dani hurried over to Maggie.
"Are we good?" Maggie nodded.
"Yeah, it's clear." Dani's heart dropped when she saw the looks on the faces of her friends. Carl kept walking towards Bill and joined him at the fence, killing walkers with as much rage as the older man. Dani looked behind Michonne to the prison entrance and didn't see any movement.
"Is everyone ok?" Michonne nodded.
"Yeah, everyone's fine. Rick, Daryl, that new kid…they're all fine." Dani felt relief that Daryl was ok but was acutely aware Michonne had left Tyreese off the list. Dani looked from Michonne to Maggie and Glenn.
"What about Tyreese? He's not…?" Maggie shook her head.
"No, he's alive." Dani immediately knew what had happened.
"Did you find…oh god no." She covered her mouth. Glenn nodded.
"Yeah." He said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "We found Sasha."
Tyreese knelt in front of his sister's body, staring at her torn and bloody corpse. He had fallen to his knees once he found her and had not spoken since.
"Tyreese." Rick's voice sounded like it was miles away. All he could hear was Sasha's laugh from another time. It was the night it was announced that he had been drafted by the Falcons. He hadn't been the first round draft pick and there wasn't much buzz around his name. Tyreese had done well at the University of Georgia, starting most of his junior and senior years for the Bulldogs, but he hadn't done anything that made him standout, in his mind anyway. When he got the call that changed his life, Sasha had been there to celebrate with him.
"I knew you could do it big brother!" She had hugged him tight and kissed his cheek. "Momma would be so proud of you!"
"Tyreese." Rick's voice and hand on his shoulder made him jump. He turned around to see his friend looking at him with concern. "C'mon Tyreese. Let's get her cleaned up." Tyreese nodded and turned back to Sasha. He picked up his sister's body, cradled her against his chest and began to cry. His body shook as the grief tore through him. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right. It should have been someone else, not his baby sister. Not her. He stood carefully, trying hard not to move her around too much. He carried her to the shower room, turned on the water and carefully washed the blood from her face. He tried not to see her mauled throat or the bullet hole in her forehead. All Tyreese could focus on was how beautiful she was, even in death. He was getting soaked as well standing in the cold water but he didn't care. Nothing mattered now. The last of his flesh and blood was gone. His last tie to his old life was dead.
"How many more graves do you think we'll have to dig before this is over?" Glenn asked the question to no one in particular. Glenn, Rick, Taylor and Daryl were almost done, trying to hurry to get the bodies in the ground. Five more of their own, dead. The jovial mood and feeling of safety that had fallen over the prison the last month or so was gone. Glenn looked around the yard. The kids weren't laughing, no one spoke above a whisper. The only sound came from the animals and the walkers. He gripped the shovel tight and chewed his lip, trying hard not to cry. Rick saw and put his hand on Glenn's shoulder.
"Glenn, go take a break. We've got this." Glenn shook his head, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.
"No I'm alright. Let's get this done."
"Tyreese." He turned slightly when he heard Michonne's voice behind him but didn't respond. He had gone into the library to be alone. Michonne pulled up a chair and sat next to him. For a moment, neither spoke.
"She wouldn't want you to shut down you know." Tyreese closed his eyes in pain.
"Why don't you just leave me be?"
"Because you need to hear this." Michonne's voice was stern, commanding. "Grieve if you have to but you can't shut down and separate from the group. Rick.." Tyreese stood up quickly, knocking the chair over.
"Rick made me leave her alone! Rick wouldn't let me go back in and find her!" Michonne didn't flinch at his anger.
"So get mad at Rick. Go yell at him, he'll probably even let you take a swing or two if that's what you need to get it out of your system. But don't shut down. This group depends on you, more than you realize. We have new people here but they can't replace you." Tyreese clenched his hands into fists, his jaw trembled.
"I lost my baby sister. She was my responsibility. I've always taken care of her, always. I left her alone and now she's dead. I could give a damn what this group needs." Michonne rose slowly, her eyes narrowing.
"Would Sasha sit all alone feeling sorry for herself if it was the other way around?" Tyreese looked away, tears finally rolling down his cheeks. "If she lost you, she'd mourn but she'd survive. She'd keep going and do what she needed to do. You know she'd want you to do the same." Tyreese felt a tightening in his chest and he knew what Michonne said was true. But he wasn't as strong as Sasha. He closed his eyes and fell to his knees, unable to control his emotions. He didn't realize when Michonne walked to him and wrapped her arms around him until he became aware that he was clinging to her. She was not only comforting him but allowing him to hang on and draw strength from her.
"She was all I had left," he choked out. "Oh god Michonne. She was all I had left." He clung to Michonne while she stroked his hair and muttered reassuring words he didn't need to hear to understand their meaning.
Carol tucked Dylan into bed and walked out of the cell, almost bumping into Andrea.
"Hey Carol. How's he doing?" Carol turned around and looked at the sleeping boy.
"He needs to sleep. I think he'll be ok. He's still young enough to get over this." Andrea nodded.
"Why don't you go outside and get some fresh air?" Andrea limped into the cell. "I'll keep an eye on him?" Carol smiled.
"Are you sure?" Andrea nodded and Carol walked outside. She walked towards the chicken coop to check on eggs when she heard someone getting sick behind the tool tent. She hurried over to check as Dani slowly straightened up, her face pale.
"Dani are you ok?" Dani brushed off Carol's hand and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.
"Yeah I'm fine. Everything just kind of hit me all at once I guess." Carol frowned.
"Are you sure that's all it is?" Dani narrowed her eyes.
"Yeah, what else could it be?" She tried to push past Carol but stopped when Carol grabbed her arm.
"Dani, is everything alright? You haven't really been yourself lately." Dani pulled her arm out of Carol's grasp.
"Maybe you just need to mind your own business Carol. I'm fine." Dani felt guilty when she saw the shock and hurt on Carol's face but turned and walked back to the prison. She didn't know why she had snapped at the woman, especially since Carol was right about her being a little off the past few days. Dani stopped to pick up the canteen she had dropped when her stomach had suddenly decided to violently reject what she had eaten a few hours before and was rinsing her mouth out when her hands went cold.
It had taken only one night of waking up with the twins sitting on the stairs watching her and Daryl sleeping on the perch before they sucked it up and moved into the cell they used when they needed to be alone. She still hated sleeping in the cell and the bed was certainly smaller than the perch but the two of them enjoyed the private time, making love almost every night they didn't have guard duty or were just too exhausted and quickly fell asleep in each other's arms. Daryl instinctively knew how to touch her and it hadn't taken him long to get rid of his inhibitions and just let go completely with her.
But one thing they'd never done was use a condom. Ever. Dani thought back through her time at the prison. She'd had her period twice since she'd arrived, the second time joking with Maggie about what would happen to the guys if all the women synced up. That had been only a week after the Woodbury crew arrived, that she was sure of. She was sure she hadn't had one since, which meant she was almost three weeks late.
Dani couldn't be pregnant, not this fast. It had taken a year to even get pregnant with Abigail and that was ten years ago. She didn't look it but she was in her mid-thirties now, closer to forty than she cared to admit, and she hadn't even given a thought to ever having another baby, aside from the relief she'd felt when she'd gotten her period soon after arriving at the prison. But this was different. If she was pregnant now, it was definitely with Daryl's baby.
She ran her fingers through her hair, took another drink of water and tried to push her suspicions to the back of her mind. Being a little late was nothing new for her. With all the stress, the physical labor and rationed diet it was no wonder. And she had just thrown up one time, after losing several friends. Dani laughed at herself for jumping to conclusions. She'd give it another week and then talk to Alice. After all, it wasn't like she could drive down to the corner drug store and pick up a pregnancy test to find out for…
Maggie. Maggie had grabbed several pregnancy tests that first run to Barnesville when they were stocking up on medicine. When Dani had looked at her questioningly, Maggie had shrugged.
"You never know. Better to have them and not need 'em, you know?"
So far as Dani knew, they'd never been used and were still in the same spot with their stash of tampons. She could take one, confirm that she was overreacting and everything would be fine. After checking to make sure that Daryl was up in the tower on watch with Taylor and Abraham, Dani walked quickly back into the prison.
"So I talked to Rick today and I wanted to run this past you," said Abraham as he, Daryl and Taylor watched the relatively peaceful sunset. Fewer walkers were coming out of the woods now and they had finally gotten the fence line under control. Daryl looked over at Abraham and raised his eyebrow.
"Yeah?"
"I think Taylor and I should go over to Woodbury and check things out. You know, see if the Governor is still in operation. If he is, we could get an idea of how many people he's got left. If he's gone, we can poke around to see if the heavy artillery is still there and see if there's anything left worth looting. I'm worried what the guy's going to do now that a bunch of us have defected." Daryl's forehead wrinkled as he thought about it.
"Probably wouldn't be such a bad idea." He said finally. "Who all were you thinkin' of takin' with you?" Abraham motioned to Taylor.
"Definitely the two of us. You're welcome to come along too if you want. I think it would be better with a small group." Daryl nodded.
"Yeah, a small group would be better. I'll talk to Rick and Glenn about who else should go." Abraham nodded. Taylor set his gun on the control board.
"I take it you won't come with us then." Taylor said, almost sounding disappointed. Daryl shrugged.
"If I have to I will. I just think we need to come up with a plan first. Everyone is on edge after last night. I don't think we all need to just take off without figurin' out what the hell we're gonna do." Abraham and Taylor exchanged a look.
"You sure you're Merle Dixon's brother?" Taylor asked. The hard look he got in response made him step back. "No offense man. It's just, I had to work with the man and he acted first, thought second. He never would have helped out these people like you have and he sure as shit wouldn't have looked after Dani." Daryl nodded, a slight smile playin' on his lips.
"Merle may not have been the smartest but he was my brother. I don't know how things would have turned out if he hadn't gotten left on that rooftop in Atlanta. I wouldn't be here, that's for damn sure. There was a time, back before all this, there wasn't much difference between us." Abraham smiled and Daryl was taken aback at how much he did in fact resemble Dale.
"I'm sure that's not true son." Daryl nodded and opened the door to the tower. He paused and looked back over his shoulder.
"If Merle hadn't been such an asshole back in Atlanta and got himself left there, we was gonna rob the people we were stayin' with. Carol, Glenn, Andrea, Rick's wife…a bunch of them. Me and Merle, we were gonna take everything they had, even kill 'em if we had to, and go off on our own. Probably would've died, never would have made it here. And I don't know if I necessarily would've felt bad about it." Abraham gave him a sympathetic look.
"If you were like your brother, you would have robbed those people with or without Merle being there. The fact that you didn't, speaks volumes for your character." Daryl nodded and felt himself choking up. He had to get out of that tower and quick.
"Thanks." He said and hurried out the door.
Dani was sitting in their room with the lantern on when Daryl walked in later that night. Daryl put his crossbow in the corner and sat down next to her.
"Hey," he said as she turned to kiss him. "You ok?" Dani nodded.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. It's just been a hard day." He brushed her hair off her face.
"You been cryin'?" She closed her eyes and looked away.
"Just more of my friends are dead. Jamie, Mark and the boys were in my group when we left Atlanta and were headin' to Macon. Seems like I'd been with them from the beginning of all of this and now they're dead. I can't imagine what it's gonna be like for Dylan. I hope he doesn't end up hard and hating the world like Carl has." Daryl put his arms around her and she leaned on his shoulder.
"It's hard for kids but they'll survive. Kids are tougher than people give them credit. Dylan, Carl, Maddie and Little Ass Kicker will turn out fine." She pulled away and looked at him.
"You really think so?" Daryl gave her a wry smile.
"If I made it through all the shit I did growin' up, then those kids can survive the end of the world." Dani laughed.
"You've got a point there Dixon."
Later that night, Dani lay in Daryl's arms still wide awake. All she could think about was that stupid white stick with two pink lines on it. She felt Daryl's breath on the back of her neck as he slept deep. Dani couldn't tell him, not now, maybe in a day or two after she got a chance to talk to Alice. Dani closed her eyes and shifted closer to Daryl. In his sleep, he tightened his arm around her and entwined his fingers with hers.
"Tomorrow," Dani thought as she finally drifted off to sleep. "I'll figure out how to tell him tomorrow."
A/N: I remembered that conversation between Merle & Daryl in S3 where Merle asked him if the group knew the brothers were planning on robbing the Atlanta camp. I know Daryl has been told (both on the show & in this fic) by people within the group that he's better than Merle but I don't think deep down that he's truly believed it. I honestly think that it will take someone who knew Merle apart from Daryl (like one of the new Woodbury people on the show or Abraham in here), to finally get him to accept that he's a good man.