Dark Titans - Arc 3 - This Ain't A Scene!
Chapter 4
Enjoy if you will, Tolerate if you won't.
A hushed silence hung over the darkened interior of the massive office. The only light provided was the pale starlight which filtered in through the three layers of transparent aluminium which passed for windows. Even the air itself felt heavy, weighing down on the room's occupants.
Luthor leaned back into his chair, steepling his fingers before him expectantly.
"So, Miss Xian Pu, Mr. Mu Tzu, do you think that this is an assignment which you can accomplish?"
The man smiled as he watched the proud warriors actually begin to fidget nervously in their seats.
"Sha – I am . . . not sure about this mission, Mr. Luthor. It seems . . ."
The canny businessman could already sense where she was going, and was quick to head her off. After all, she was the only he had to convince. If the young woman agreed, then Mousse would follow along with all of the loyalty of a faithful puppy.
"I understand your hesitation, my dear, I do. This is a very dangerous assignment which I am proposing. It would require tremendous skill and ingenuity . . . perhaps you feel you aren't yet prepared . . .?"
He let the bait hang in the air. It only took a moment for an indignant expression to bloom on Shampoo's aesthetic features. He nearly chuckled, but refrained with the ease of long practice.
Predictably, the deceptively delicate looking girl leapt to her feet and slammed an open palm down on his desk. What appeared to be a minor emotional outburst actually landed home with enough force to shift the entire mass of his desk an inch towards him. He carefully schooled his expression as the Amazon's violet eyes bored into him.
"We can handle anything you can throw at us, sir! Just let me get my weapons and I'll go right now!"
Ahh, to be young and gullible. The sad thing was that the young woman knew exactly what he was doing, but her pride refused to let her avoid such an obvious ploy.
Containing his smile, Luthor nodded and gestured for Shampoo to take her seat. "I appreciate your zeal, Executive Officer Xian Pu, and I know that you are more than up to the task. However, there are still many preparations to be made. I just wanted to make sure that the two of you were on board before I set the wheels in motion."
With a little more force than was strictly necessary, Shampoo plopped back into her seat. Already, she had shifted completely from reluctant uncertainty to dogged determination. Yes, he definitely liked the young woman; she was just the kind of employee that he preferred to work with.
"I hate to admit it," added Mousse, "But there is a part of me that is intrigued by the challenge you're presenting. However, even with the little bit of knowledge that I gleaned from the Academy, I can already think of one thing that could stop this whole plan before it even begins. I mean . . . what about the M-"
Luthor raised his hand to forestall the young man's concerns. The boy was just as good a find as the young Shampoo. Though a bit of a spineless lapdog when it came to his love, the longhaired Amazon male was every bit as vindictive and ruthless when it suited him. His time at the Hive Academy had obviously had had a very positive effect on the boy as well.
"Don't worry about that. I predicted that complication as well and have already taken steps to remedy it."
He slid open a drawer on the face of his desk and withdrew the pair of objects in mind. With casual ease, he tossed the two items to his guests, watching in amusement as the martial artists plucked them from the air without even looking.
However, as soon as the youths did see what was now in their hands, their eyes widened in shock. Mousse held up the bulky looking wristwatch, "This is-"
"Just a little something that I acquired from a very recently established technologies firm." Lex smiled knowingly at the understanding that dawned on his companions' faces. "I was thinking of acquiring the company itself, as well; however, I think I'll wait and see what they can accomplish on their own first."
Mousse shook his head, while Shampoo just stared in wonder.
"You do know who-"
The unexpected beeping of his desk intercom cut off Shampoo's oblique question. It immediately put him in a foul mood, as he had explicitly orderedPatricia not to disturb him. Not feeling like making a scene in front of two of his most promising young employees, he quickly removed the earpiece from the intercom and pressed it into his ear.
He prepared to spin his mammoth chair around to face the window behind him, but, as an afterthought, turned back to Shampoo and Mousse, "Please excuse me for a moment, this won't take long."
He then spun around and activated the intercom.
"What is it, Patricia. I asked you not to disturb me." He made sure that his displeasure was palpable in his voice.
". . ."
". . . I . . . see. And you've confirmed those descriptions?"
". . ."
"When did they enter the city?"
". . ."
"And their current location?"
". . ."
"Excellent, you did the right thing, my dear."
With a silent beep, he ended the conversation. Spinning around quickly, he spared a brief glance to the couple before him, noting the burning curiosity on their faces. Rather than explain, he simply pressed another button on the intercom.
"Elder Khu Lon, could you please come to my office? There is a situation developing which might interest you."
He then removed the earpiece and returned it to its proper place. One thing he liked about the old woman was that she didn't waste words. She would arrive shortly and learn everything she needed, so why bother with frivolous questions over the intercom?
". . . Umm, if you don't mind me asking . . .," Mousse interjected uncertainly.
He was cut off abruptly by Shampoo, who leaned forward excitedly, "Who arrive in town that you need Great Grandmother to deal with?"
Lex chuckled to himself as he leaned back into his chair. "I'll explain it all when the Elder arrives. I do so hate to repeat myself. Now, while we wait: Mu Tzu, I just wanted to remind you of the item which you'll need to procure. When do you think you'll be able to take care of it?"
Mousse dismissed his concerns with a casual wave of the hand. "Feh, that's literally no problem . . ."
"I'll call Hibiki as soon as we're done here."
Jinx took in a long breath as she stared across the ocean of twinkling lights that stretched on forever before her. Her legs swayed absently, tapping her heels rhythmically against the ledge of the building they sat on. A gentle breeze ran its ethereal fingers through her hair, bringing a contented sigh to her lips.
Even her company didn't seem quite as repugnant as usual.
With a lazy tilt of her head, she turned to face the old man sitting on the ledge beside her. "Okay, Happi, I admit that Metropolis is a pleasant change of scenery after that week in Bludhaven, but would you please let me know why we're here?" She made sure to flutter her eyelashes and clasped her hands as she asked her question.
The old coot in question took a long draw from his pipe before glancing at her out of the corner of his eye.
"Well, Disciple, your training has been coming along quite well. So well, in fact, that I thought I'd arrange a small test for you." Happi cackled gleefully before continuing, "And I figured Metropolis would be a great place to have some fun, not to mention to make a name for ourselves."
She was about to ask just what kind of insane test her erstwhile master could possibly arrange for them in Metropolis, but stopped suddenly when his last statement finally sunk in. Instantly, she fired a furious glare, complete with sizzling neon energy, in the pervert's direction.
"Make a name for ourselves? Are you insane? I'm still trying to live down the reputation that you got me back in Keystone City!"
In reply, the mighty midget began to wring his hands and leveled his most pathetic pout back at her. "B-b-but Jinx! That's the most wonderful name I've ever heard. I couldn't have thought of a better one myself, and believe me, I've tried!"
Jinx shot up to her feet, far too ticked off to revel in how much she towered over her part time trainer, part time tormentor.
"'The Lingerie Lesbian' is not the reputation I wanted!" she half screamed.
As usual, Happi failed to be intimidated by her temper. Instead, he just shrugged, "Well, you have to admit, you do kind of give off that impression. I mean, you were caught red handed stealing all of those poor women's unmentionables . . ."
"WHAT!"
This time, her shriek pierced eardrums across half the city, "You – you perverted little troll! You stole their damn underwear and dumped it on me just in time for me to get trampled by that mob!"
Happi waved his pipe around, looking quite unconcerned. "How could you possibly expect an old man like me to remember tiny details like that from so long ago?"
"It was a week and a half ago, you little monster!"
"Tut, tut, Jinx, getting all worked up over trivial matters won't help the situation. Besides, how can you be so certain of your sexuality? I mean, you dumped poor Ryouga like a hot rock, and you haven't been showing any interest in any men since then." The old man ran his fingers over his chest in a mockery of a sensual gesture, "Most notably this hot stud right here."
Fortunately, she was far too livid to get sick at the moment.
"I am not a lesbian!" Jinx stamped her foot furiously and pink sparks danced angrily from her fingertips.
In a strange case of coincidence, a nearby air-conditioning unit collapsed into a heap of scrap as all of the rivets and bolts holding the machine together chose that exact moment to pop or snap apart.
Of course, by this point, neither speaker paid the incidental property damage any mind. Instead, Jinx moved on to her next bone of contention, "And I didn't dump Ryouga." She then clasped her hands together over her heart and stared off into the night, "I nobly sacrificed my own love to let him find true happiness with Raven . . ."
The sappy sentiment was ruined, as a second later she dropped her hands to her side and a wave of disgust nearly dragged her chin all the way to her chest, "God, I hope she dies . . ."
It was her maudlin sentiment's turn to be ruined, as she stiffened suddenly; feeling a tiny hand unexpectedly caressing her thigh.
"Aww, don't fret Jinx. Let Uncle Happi help you forget all of those nasty, nasty memories."
A second later, the old goat had a single digit pointed directly between his eyes, a small jet of pink energy about the same intensity as a cutting torch projecting from its tip. The perverted midget's eyes crossed comedically as he focused on the furiously dancing spark of power.
"Happi," she started in a saccharine voice, "Unless you're trying to induce vomit therapy, I suggest you remove your hand before I start serving stewed monkey brains to everyone in this building."
Slowly, her master's hand withdrew from her leg as the ancient warrior focused intently on the blindingly pink flame mere inches in front of his face . . . Until a wide smile suddenly split his face.
"Excellent intensity, Disciple! It looks like your focus is really improving." Then, without warning, the withered pervert licked his thumb and forefinger and proceeded to snuff out her finger like it was a guttering candle.
Jinx snatched the digit away, staring in incomprehension as one final tiny whiff of smoke flitted away from the tip of her finger. She honestly didn't know whether to be amazed by Happi's skill, or disgusted that she had troll drool on her finger.
"See, if you had just done that to the mob of women whose panties you stole, you wouldn't have gotten all bruised up," cackled the overly amused pervert.
A nearby satellite dish, in a completely unrelated manner, unexpectedly detached from the face of the building and plummeted to the streets below as Jinx yelled, "Whose panties you stole!"
The pink haired sorceress took a moment to calm herself, "Besides, even as evil as I am, I just didn't have the heart to beat up a bunch of women that just wanted their underwear back. Heck, it wasn't even the ladies that were curb stomping me that really bothered me, it was the ones that were . . . interested."
Happi shot her a shocked look, complete with gasp, "And what's wrong with that? I'd be quite flattered if such lovely young women showed such an interest in me."
Absently, she shrugged, "Well, of course it was flattering, but . . ."
Oh, that son of a –
"Oh, shut up! I'm not gay! Now will you please just drop it and get on with your damn test?"
Happi sighed, a hurt expression on his face. She would have almost felt bad about it, if he weren't such a notoriously terrible faker. As if to prove her point, his mood pulled a complete about face and he began to chuckle happily.
"I've prepared the ultimate test for you, Disciple. You see, you and I . . . are going to battle Superman!"
". . ."
Without even a word, Jinx hopped off the ledge and started making her way to the stairs.
A plaintiff wail came from behind her, "Jii-inx! Where are you going?"
She shot an incredulous look over her shoulder as she continued on her way to the exit, "I am so getting off this freak train. You have totally lost it! I'd play tonsil hockey with Raven before I actually, intentionally picked a fight with Superman!"
At the line of drool that began to run down the old troll's chin, she spun around, fists clenched furiously at her sides, "I'm not going to make out with Raven!"
It took half a minute for Happi to come back from whatever glorious mental image that his diseased mind had constructed. Lucky for him, too, since she had been about a second away from blasting him off the damn roof!
"Don't be so quick to dismiss my idea, Disciple. I'm well aware that the two of us could never defeat the alien do-gooder . . . humiliating him on the other hand . . .," Happi trailed off leadingly.
At the word 'humiliating', Jinx found herself turning around against her better judgment. She might not be really active in the super villainy scene at the moment, and she wasn't even half deluded enough to imagine she could even scratch the Man of Steel . . . but tweaking a hero's nose was always so much fun!
". . . I'm listening . . . granted, not too closely, but I'm still here anyway."
Happi cackled wickedly, obviously quite happy that he'd caught her interest. Then, in a rather unexpected move, the old man hopped on to his massive sack of delicates and began to root through it with a stubby arm. She watched the display for a moment, trying to figure out what the heck he was doing.
"What are you looking for? Do you have Luthor's Kryptonite Boxers in there or something?"
Happi stopped his hunt for a moment, looking up at her incredulously. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, Jinx . . ."
"Really, as if I'd have boxers in here."
Jinx rolled her eyes . . . what else could she do, really?
Happi immediately dove back into his rummaging, and after a moment, pulled out the item which he sought-
A manila folder?
A manila folder with a familiar red 'S' on the front!
Her eyes widened in shock, especially considering she could see several other similar folders now peeking out from the mouth of the sack: one bore a yellow oval with a bat in it, another was a white circle with a lightning bolt cutting through it . . . and those were just the ones she could see . . .
"Wha- whe . . ."
Her mentor cackled happily as he waved around his prize. "Not nearly as convenient as a good scroll, but they do have their charms."
"Where the hell did you get that?" she barked in disbelief.
Happi shrugged, "I may have borrowed it from the Headmaster before I . . . resigned. I had to choose quickly though, since Nabiki's drones were busy stealing all of the real good stuff at the time."
Well, that just figured; man, why hadn't she thought to swipe anything? Or, at the very least get her sketchbook from her room . . .
She let out a resigned sigh . . . she had really loved that sketchbook.
"And with this information, my Disciple, we can pick apart this so-called 'Man of Steel's' weaknesses and figure out how best to really get under his skin."
Jinx scoffed, and made sure to make it loud, "I can already tell you everything you need to know: super strong, super fast, invulnerable and, oh, let's not forget the laser eyes! Are you nuts? That guy could tear us in half with his pinky if he felt like it!"
Yet another annoying cackle filled the air. "Yes, yes, Jinx. On the surface it seems like an impossible task, but what happens if we take a little closer look at the information?"
She graced him with a skeptical look.
"Bear with me." He quickly began to leaf through the folder, "Let's start with your first point: super strength. I've dealt with some strong children in my day, but this Superman character's strength is simply beyond any kind of description or comparison. Heck, he could tear us in half with is pinky, however, he never would. All of this research stuff tells us that he's never used more force than was strictly necessary."
Jinx actually found herself nodding in agreement.
"As amazing as we are, my dear, we're still just human. That eliminates the danger of his heat vision as well. He might use it to frighten us, or to try and corral us, but he'd never actually use it to harm us."
Slowly, Jinx returned to her seat on the ledge and crossed her legs comfortably. It all made sense so far; in fact, it was villainy One Oh One. Superheroes were namby pampy wimps that always held back, Superman more so than anyone.
"Next is his super speed. It says here that his top speed is unknown. Probably something utterly ludicrous I bet, but the simple fact is, in all of the news reports I've ever seen on his battles, I have never seen him actually utilize any of his vaunted super speed in a fight. Certainly, he uses it to get around the battlefield, but as soon as he throws a punch, he fights at normal speed. Why is that? Who knows? Maybe some kind of mental block or something, but it works to our advantage."
Jinx continued to nod, resting her chin on an upraised palm as she considered what Happi was saying.
"In fact, it is our greatest asset, because, as far as fighters go, Superman is a talentless brawler."
He leafed through several more pages of the folder quickly, obviously checking a fact.
"It says here, that he is only a Class Three fighter. To give you a reference you would understand, the Batman's file states that he is a Class Twelve fighter."
"Hmm," Jinx hummed in consideration, "That's a pretty wide gap . . . I wonder where I fall in."
Happi smiled in reply, "Well, though I didn't strictly have official access to the records, I did happen to accidentally browse through them from time to time. Actually, you were the top fighter in the Academy, at Class Eight. Bumble Bee was a close second at Class Six."
Jinx 'Ahh'd' feeling strangely satisfied.
"Of course, that was before the beginning of our training trip, so I wouldn't put much stock in it."
She shrugged. The fact that she was that far ahead of Bumble Bee . . . and Superman, she guessed, was smugly gratifying to know. "So, what's that mean, anyway?"
Her master looked her dead in the eye, taking on a sagely appearance that she rarely got to see him use. It usually only happened when he was actually about to do or say something that was actually useful . . . so, yeah, pretty rare.
". . . Absolutely Nothing!"
Huh?
"Huh?"
"Such generic numbers are essentially meaningless in the world of martial arts. Power levels are useless garbage; anyone worth their salt knows that style is everything."
Again: huh?
"What do you mean? If Batman is level twelve, or whatever, isn't just that their way of saying he'd beat anyone of a lower level than him in a fight? Seems pretty cut and dried to me."
Happi rolled his eyes in annoyance. "There is one universal rule in the world of martial arts, Jinx. If you think your opponent can beat you, then you're right. You've already lost your first fight with Batman, and you've never even met him.
"Think on this, there is no perfect warrior, no perfect style. Every style has its own strengths and weaknesses. Compare Ranma and Ryouga; using the power scale that the Headmaster uses, both would likely be quite comparable in power, yet, Ranma can beat the Lost Boy nine times out of ten because his strengths capitalize on Ryouga's weaknesses, but not vice versa.
"And, for as much power as either boy possesses, neither of them would have even a chance of defeating one such as Raven. Ryouga is too direct, and Ranma's verbal attacks and taunts wouldn't work on her, in fact she'd likely turn them around on him with great ease. Yet, Mousse, who is undeniably weaker than either boy, drove Raven to the very brink of defeat because of the style with which he fought."
. . . Wow . . . that actually made a weird kind of sense. It was hard to reconcile this Happi with the one that traveled with her the other ninety percent of the time. Well, she supposed there had to be some reason that he had actually survived to become an ancient master.
Happi took a moment to tap out his spent pipe, then pulled out a small pouch and began to refill it.
"Now, moving on. As for your last point: Invulnerability; it's pretty common knowledge that Superman has two major weaknesses. And they are . . .?"
"Phhfft, that's easy," she boasted, "Superman is stupidly weak against Kryptonite . . . but we don't exactly have any of that on us, now do we?"
Happi simply stared at her..
"I said two weaknesses: Kryptonite annnd . . ."
Crap . . . what was the other one?
"Umm . . ."
"Kryptonite annnd . . .:"
"Ahhh . . . is it . . ."
"Kryptonite annnd . . ."
She shot him a dirty scowl, his reply to which was –
"Kryptonite annnd . . ."
"Shut up! Just tell me already!"
Her master sighed in disappointment, not that she actually cared.
"And magic, my young Disciple."
That brought the young sorceress up short.
"Magic? . . . Hey! I'm all about the magic!" A disturbingly hilarious line of thought began to unfold in her mind. "Oh – oh man! We could totally open a bag of freak on Supes!"
The ancient master nodded, smiling proudly. "Exactly right! Between my skills, and your powers, just imagine it."
Jinx began to giggle uncontrollably, "You're still crazy, b-but if we pulled this off, we'd be legends! I mean, just imagine if we could get a picture of Supes with a pair of panties on his head-"
A pause.
"Oh God, I didn't just think that, did I?"
She grimaced as Happi let out a choked sob and proceeded to wipe away the first genuine tear she had ever seen from the corner of his eye. "Oh, Jinx! I've never been so proud of a student of mine as I am this moment. Why-"
She held out a dainty hand to stop him in his tracks.
"Shut it, Old Man. Look, here's the deal: you never evermention what I just said, and I'll go along with this completely insane plan of yours. Sound good?"
"Wellll . . ."
Happi lingered far too long for comfort, but finally, "Alright. Deal. Now, all we have to do is get the Big Man's attention. And, as luck would have it, I already have the perfect plan!"
Jinx felt her shoulders slump; things were about to get stupid again, she could feel it in her bones.
"After all, how do you catch a Super Man?"
The pink haired sorceress groaned in disgust, she could already see where this was going . . .
"With a Super Panty Raid!" They spoke in perfect unison, though one of the voices was far less proud of the . . . ingenious plan than the other.
Jinx slapped a palm to her forehead. And it had all sounded so plausible, too! Why did she let herself dare to hope-
An involuntary scream was torn from her throat as she suddenly felt tiny, yet unbelievably strong arms wrap around her waist. The terrifying thought that Happi was going to force himself on her whipped through her mind with numbing ferocity-
But then she felt herself being lifted into the air! She was about to scream again . . . except she inadvertently got a look at the section of roof that they had just vacated only a fraction of a second earlier.
Or what was left of it.
The entire ledge had been demolished by what looked to be a half a dozen . . . halberds? The hafts of the weapons quivered violently from where they protruded from the shattered concrete of the roof.
Two was approaching two with freight train speed in her head, but a sudden and jarring landing sent her for a loop. It took her a few precious seconds to regain her bearings after Happi (reluctantly) released her. When she finally did, she realized quite quickly that they were no longer alone on the rooftop.
Perched rather casually on the eastern ledge of the building . . . was a tiny little woman. The shrunken figure had long white hair, wore a shapeless green robe and held a staff of ancient looking wood in her hand. Something about the woman tickled the back of Jinx's mind as being disturbingly familiar, but she just couldn't put her finger on it.
Before she could ask Happi what was going on, another person joined them on the roof. This figure alighted on the northern ledge and wore bright clothing with what appeared to be a leather breastplate (of all things) covering her rather sizeable chest. The young woman's hair was a very bright and unusual (at least outside of the circles that Jinx normally ran in) shade of lavender. Most notable, though, were the massive pair of equally colorful maces in her hands.
Now Jinx was pretty darn sure that she'd seen this girl before . . .
Oh, yeah! It was – was . . . Whatserface!
And, as soon as she figured out that little mystery, the final piece of the puzzle dropped into place. Quite literally, too, as the familiar, longhaired and bespectacled young man dropped down onto the southern ledge; effectively surrounding them, with the forest of pole arms at their backs now. As soon as he landed, Mousse buried his hands deeply into the voluminous sleeves of his jet black robes.
Once Mousse had joined them, the old crone tapped her staff to the ledge twice and smiled a withered and amused smile.
"Hello, Happosai . . ."
"A word, if you please?"
Cologne smiled grimly at the surprised look on Happosai's face; as unexpected as it was for him to be traveling though Metropolis, the fact that she was there was likely something that Happi hadn't even considered possible. Well, time to get down to business.
"It appears that-"
She was rudely interrupted by a piercing squeal which filled the air. The ancient matriarch was about to look for the Goddess-Forsaken animal that had just been skewered, when the source of the noise made itself obvious.
"Mousse!"
Cologne could only watch as, against all reason, the pink haired half of their quarry suddenly sprang forward, wrapped her arms around the weapon master's neck and planted an affectionate peck on his cheek!
"Mousse, I haven't seen you in forever!"
Mousse had the audacity to chuckle, considering the circumstances. He then actually wrapped an arm around the girl's waist and gave her a small squeeze in return.
"Tell me about it, I haven't seen you since your boyfriend blew up the Academy."
Errantly, the nearsighted martial artist began to run his hand through the hair at the back of his head, "Heh . . . um, and sorry about trying to kill you just now . . ."
Rather than be outraged, as most people would, Jinx giggled and playfully swatted Mousse's chest. "Whatever. That's how half the guys I know ask for a date. So, how have you been doing? You're looking really good." The pink haired girl squeezed Mousse's bicep appraisingly, "Someone been working out?"
For the first time in a long, long time, Cologne wasn't exactly sure what to do. She had a strong urge to clout both children over the head, but Happi was standing only a few yards away. Any misstep could trigger a premature battle . . . besides, it was quite amusing.
"Me? Never. But, things are going pretty good. I'm even working for Luthor now," Mousse stated proudly.
Jinx let out an excited gasp, "Aww, no way! That's awesome! Half the people at the Academy were hoping to get a placement with Lexcorp! Ma-an, now I'm jealous!"
Mousse chuckled lightly, "Well, it does have its perks, I won't lie about that. Still, enough about me, how have you been lately? This is the last place I expected to run into you, let alone with him."
The young sorceress' eyes rolled mightily, "God, I don't even want to talk about the stuff he's put me through. You honestly have no idea how relieved I am to talk to a normal guy again."
The weapon master pointed to himself in amused befuddlement, "Who, me?"
"Who, him?" Shampoo echoed his sentiment, though with a lot less amusement and a lot more befuddlement.
Jinx stuck her tongue out at Shampoo before turning back to Mousse, "Well, consider my current company." She then gestured meaningfully to the withered, yet grinning, form of Happosai.
Happi gave a jaunty wave of his fingers.
"Oh! Well, that makes sense!"
"Even Shampoo have to concede that point."
Even Cologne found herself nodding, but caught herself doing it and stopped immediately. Really, that was just about enough of that foolishness. With that, the ancient Matriarch cleared her throat . . .
Loudly.
"Excuse me, but if the two of you are done fondling one another, we were in the middle of something."
Immediately the faces of both children in question flushed red and they jumped apart hastily.
"Um, sorry 'bout that."
"Terribly sorry, won't happen again."
Jinx then proceeded to return to Happi's side via a series of one-handed backwards handstands. My, but wasn't that girl frisky today?
Once Jinx finished her routine, Happosai pointing his still smoking pipe at her accusingly.
"What's this all about, Cologne?"
Cologne stared at the man.
". . . I was just about to tell you before your protégé so rudely interrupted me."
The sorceress in question dug a toe into the gravel of the roof, looking quite abashed.
". . . Sorry, my bad."
The matriarch rolled her eyes.
"Regardless, I'm here to make you an offer, Happosai. As the blind fool already revealed-" She shot a dark glare in the boy's direction, "-we are currently working on an important project with Lex Luthor. As such, it is integral that we not draw any attention to Metropolis for the foreseeable future."
The Grandmaster of Anything Goes shrugged, wearing an infuriatingly innocent expression on his face. "That's all well and good for you, but what does that have to do with little old me and little young Jinx?"
Despite her reserved nature, Cologne let out a weak groan.
"Please. We all know the kind of mischief you can get yourself into. And when I heard you were traveling with Jinx of all people, well, the potential for disaster was simply too large to ignore."
"Aww, shucks, now I feel all warm and fuzzy inside," tittered the amused witch. This elicited a small chuckle from Mousse, which in turn elicited a withering glare from Shampoo.
"So, the offer is this," she resumed, ignoring everyone's foolish antics, "Join our ranks and behave yourselves, or spend the next several weeks in a containment cell so that we may keep an eye on you."
The odd couple that was Jinx and Happosai took a moment to glance at each other.
"Well, master, it sounds like your pretty standard 'Join us, or Die' ultimatum."
Off to the side, her Great Granddaughter nodded viciously, "Shampoo highly recommend latter."
Cologne shook her head wearily. "Well, Happosai, Jinx, what is your answer. Will you join us willingly?"
Again, the witch and the warrior shared a sidelong glance, as if attempting some form of telepathic communication . . . Then, in an eerie feat of synchronization that made her wonder if they actually succeeded-
"Mmmmm – Naaaaaaw!"
The immature smiles that spread across their faces were enough to make even a seasoned Amazon warrior grimace. Really, how predictable could these two get?
"Are you sure?" purred a wickedly smiling Shampoo, "After all, 'Obstacles are for Killing', you know?"
An incensed Jinx spun to face Shampoo, hands defiantly on her hips.
"Ha! Yeah right. You and what army, Beach Balls?"
It was finally Cologne's turn to smile. Using the prearranged signal, she raised her hand into the air. She then stated proudl-
"No offense, Mousse," Jinx cut her off, out of the blue.
Mousse waved nonchalantly in return, "None taken."
At which point, in response to her hand signal, three sleek, black Lexcorp helicopter rose soundlessly over the ledge of the roof, each of them lifting up dramatically behind each of the Amazons, setting their hair to blowing dramatically.
In retrospect, though, three helicopters and three longhaired Amazons could only lead to spending the entire next day in front of a mirror with a sturdy comb or two . . .
The flying machines, absolutely cutting edge technology, hovered silently for several moments before the sides of each vehicle opened to allow six heavily armed security agents to rappel down to the roof on ropes.
Happi and Jinx didn't seem particularly perturbed by this new development. In fact, they just continued to stare at her expectantly . . .
"What?" she snapped irritably.
Jinx tilted her head to the side, "Well, aren't you going to say it?"
She glared back at the youth, "Not after you've ruined the timing, no."
"Awww, come on, Cologne, you gotta say it!" pleaded Happi in a most undignified manner.
"Really," Mousse chimed in, "How often do you get to use that line?"
Scattered around the roof, the soldiers began to mill about, staring at each other uneasily. Not that she could blame them, the entire situation was grating on Cologne's nerves as well. Still, she had to admit that the blind fool did have a point . . .
"Fine, fine . . ." She gestured dramatically to the heavily armed and armored security agents.
"This one."
The sound of palm meeting forehead drew everyone's attention to an irate Shampoo.
"Great Grandmother! Stop embarrassing me in from of the Fourth, Seventh and Ninth Internal Security Divisions!"
Cologne rolled her eyes, but, surprisingly, it was Happi that was first to reply.
"There, there, Shampoo Dear. We've had our fun now." The ancient master then dropped into a low combat stance, a serious look on his face. Jinx followed suit, adopting a disturbingly similar stance . . . No, surely he hadn't . . . "Now, in the time honored traditions held in the most sacred regard betwixst the true masters of the Art . . . Catch us if ya can, Suckers!"
With a deceptive twirl of his fingers, Happi produced a small sphere from his sleeve and slammed it into the ground at his feet. The smoke bomb lived up to its namesake, exploding into a massive, choking cloud that obscured everyone's vision.
Of course, with three helicopters directly overhead, the cloud's death was even quicker than its birth. However, it had already accomplished its job, the smoke dispersed to reveal the rapidly diminishing forms of Happosai and Jinx already two rooftops away.
The ancient Amazon let out another weary sigh. Well, things were going more or less as predicted, which sadly didn't speak very highly for the sanity of the people she was predicting.
Mousse occupied himself with a small bout of chuckling as he watched the rapidly retreating duo with amusement in his eyes.
Which left it to Shampoo to actually do something about it.
"Everyone, back into the helicopters! Force them away from the center of the city!"
Cologne nodded at the order, it was a wise precaution to take. It took the soldiers only a few seconds to retreat to their crafts; the same devices that lowered them pulling them right back up.
By the time they were ready to go, the chase was already on.
Happosai and Jinx cleared another alleyway and landed running on the next roof. A quick glimpse over his shoulder revealed that the pursuit was already on. The three helicopters were closing the distance quickly and would likely be ahead of them in a matter of seconds. Not that the three pieces of military hardware were really his greatest concern . . .
Not that he was really all that concerned at all, for that matter.
"Alright, Disciple, you handle Cologne and Mousse. I'll deal with Shampoo," he cackled evilly to himself as he began to envision the battle to co-
Jinx swatted him upside the head.
"What are you, stupid?"
Hmph, that wasn't a very nice thing to say, or do, to her venerable master. Why did he put up with this kind of disrespect from his students?
"Alright, alright. But seriously, do you think you can handle Mousse and Shampoo together?"
For just a moment, he could see a faint trace of worry flash through the talented sorceress's eyes, but it was buried beneath a wave of bravado before it even had a chance to take root. Jinx then graced him with one of her patented Cheshire grins and nodded cockily.
"Don't worry about me. I know just how to deal with those two. The question is, can you handle the hopping handbag back there? If power and midgetness are actually related, then she's at least as tough as you."
Midgetness! . . . was that even a word? Hmph! Whatever.
"Don't you worry. Cologne and I go way back. This won't be the first time we've danced this dance. Very well then, once you've ditched your friends back there, meet me at that Motel Six we stayed at last night before we came into town."
Jinx's nose crinkled up cutely, "Ewww, gross! I'm never setting foot in that place again! Hey! I know! Let's meet up at that strip mall that was just across the road. That one store had the cutest pair of pumps I wanted to pick up."
They were forced to make a sharp detour to the east as one of the helicopters suddenly dropped down before them, the rather daunting tri-barreled machinegun mounted under its cockpit looming in their direction.
"Whatever for, Disciple? There's no way that the store would be open at this time of night."
The pink haired sorceress stared at him queerly.
". . . What's your point?"
Oh, he was so proud!
Just as she had expected, their quarry split up and began to move off into the night. As soon as the two did, Shampoo turned to her Great Grandmother and nodded. Not even bothering to nod back, the ancient matriarch accelerated insanely and shot off in pursuit of the equally ancient lecher. Mousse continued to follow her; the male already knew what the plan was.
Such as there was a plan, considering the fifteen minutes they'd had to conceive it.
Shampoo tapped her earpiece mid-stride, "This FoxCat. Tao Squadron, you assist Steel Mallard and me. Te and Ching Squadrons assist Silver Dragon."
She smirked impishly as Mousse groaned aloud at his title, but it was just so fitting that she hadn't been able to resist. A moment later, two of the helicopters peeled off and began trailing after the ancient Amazon. The remaining machine moved off ahead of them to keep a visual on the fleeing form of the pink haired villain.
Once all of that official nonsense was out of the way, Shampoo accelerated as well, Mousse following suit immediately. True, their quarry was fast and nimble, but not nearly fast enough to outpace the two of them.
As the rooftops blurred beneath them, she found herself struck by an odd sense of nostalgia for the distant Nerima. Perhaps for the millionth time since they'd come to Metropolis, Shampoo found her thoughts drifting to her loving husband . . .
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Mousse's rather inane question ruined her pleasant train of thought, so she shot him a dark glare.
"What are you talking about? We already discussed all of this. We get the easy job, all we have to deal with is one weak little Outsider."
Mousse increased his speed, coming up to run beside her, his hands still buried in his sleeves.
"I wouldn't underestimate her. I'm not worried about how strong she is, I'm more dubious about the fact that we have two Jusenkyo cursed people chasing after the Queen of Bad luck."
Shampoo scoffed derisively at her companion's cowardice. "Please, we're both master martial artists . . ."
"Do you think we would actually fall for that witch's little tric-"
Mousse quickly leapt back, interposing a convenient umbrella between himself and the burst of water that had so unexpected engulfed Shampoo. He sighed loudly; one would think that anyone from Nerima would know better than to go tempting the fates like that. How else could you explain the seemingly new water pipe that his beloved had landed on (ironically, one of the very same pipes that Jinx had alighted on during her flight) shattering like glass to reveal at least a decades worth of rust inside? A deft swing of his arm launched a chained mace from his sleeve to slam into the spouting mouth of the pipe, knocking the erstwhile fountain away from them to rain water down on the street below.
The removal of the geyser revealed a violently struggling set of clothing lying on the roof, or, at least that's what it looked like. With practiced ease, he quickly knelt down and extricated the feline he knew to be there from her silky prison.
He couldn't help himself as he looked down on the absolutely drenched pink cat as it shook itself furiously to get some of the water out of its fur.
"You were saying?" he asked, vainly struggling to hide his amusement.
A mewling hiss was his reply.
"Of course. I'm sure that was totally unrelated."
Shampoo bared her fangs and spat at him, taking an annoyed swipe with her claws.
"No! . . . no, I'm not laughing at you . . . I'm laughing with you . . ."
This time the cat's back arched up and Shampoo let out a series of howls and hisses that would have peeled the paint from a sailor's bedroom, which she punctuated with a paw pointed furiously in the direction their quarry had gone. He raised his hands in a conciliatory gesture.
"Alright, Shampoo, you can kill me later. And, yes, I'll go make sure Jinx doesn't get away.
Struggling mightily to hide his smile, he turned and headed after the fleeing sorceress. As he did, he tapped the mic in his ear.
"Tao Squadron, this is Steel Mallard. FoxCat needs a hot shower. I'm continuing pursuit of Black Cat . . . over?"
Well, at the very least, it promised to be an entertaining night.
Yet again, Happosai was forced to change his course as a helicopter dropped down to block his path. Still, nothing for him to worry about yet. A quick peek over his shoulder, though, showed that Cologne had capitalized on his hesitation yet again, closing the gap between them even more. The spry old lass was only two roofs behind now.
Well, between Cologne's determination and her mechanical toys spoiling his fun, it looked like a fight was all but inevitable. The thought caused him to cackle happily.
Oh, this would be fun!
After all, if Cologne wanted to dance so badly, it would be ungentlemanly of him to decline. That in mind, he spun midair and landed facing the rapidly gaining Amazon. Taking a fraction of a second to concentrate, he began to form his battle aura; he could feel the crimson flames of his life envelope his entire body before beginning to swell-
The sharp clack of wood on wood shattered his concentration and dispelled his burgeoning aura. The ancient master actually felt a bead of sweat roll down his forehead as he saw the tip of Cologne's staff resting only an inch from his throat, only his trusty pipe holding it at bay (carefully turned so she didn't hit any breaking points.).
Good pipes were expensive after all.
"Tut, tut, Happi. What part of low profile do you fail to grasp?" the old woman asked. There was a wry smile on her lips and she was breathing a bit heavily, likely from the burst of speed she had to have used to close the last of the distance so quickly.
With a chi enhanced push of his pipe, he sent the wily Amazon skidding across the roof.
"That stings. I've always been the very model of discretion," he replied.
Cologne riposted with a derisive bark of laughter before launching herself forward. The old crone's staff led the way, before seemingly splitting into six separate staves! A fraction of a second later she closed the distance and Happi found himself on the defensive, frantically dodging the furious assault.
"Not bad, not bad. Splitting Cat Hairs and Chestnut Fist?" he asked with great interest.
His dance partner nodded, still smiling wryly, "Indeed, perhaps you'd like a closer look?"
Suddenly, Cologne's empty hand exploded into motion, also splitting into six striking limbs! Even as the six phantom staves strove to puncture organs and break bone, her deft fingers sought pressure points and nerve clusters with a master's skill.
'Ha!' Now this was getting interesting. He'd gotten so used to fighting children lately that he'd almost forgotten just how good Cologne was. He continued to defend himself, dodging what he could and blocking what he couldn't, however, the assault was pushing him back steadily, not to mention shredding the roof in the process. The air pressure of the rapid-fire strikes was bad enough, let alone the attacks he actually deflected into the roof itself.
Cologne wasn't the only ancient master present, though.
It took fifteen full seconds and literally hundreds of strikes, but he spotted her mistake instantly and countered deftly. The second that the old woman unintentionally repeated an earlier sequence of attacks, he pierced through the pattern with his pipe and caught its tip in the folds of her robes.
"Hotcha!"
And then Cologne was airborne, yet another victim of his classic pipe toss. He couldn't resist a parting shot, though.
"I'd love to stay and play, but I've got a date with a pretty little thing and I'd hate to keep her waiting!"
Happi didn't even bother to watch her land. Instead, he turned and leapt suicidally from the ledge of the roof . . . right onto the nearby power lines that ran down the street. He cackled evilly as he started sprinting down the thick cable.
He only made it a dozen feet before his instincts screamed at him to get the heck out of Dodge. Moving as quick as he ever had, he dropped down to the wire running a scant three feet beneath the one he had been perched upon, just as Cologne landed on the cable just where he'd been standing. The heavy cable vibrated madly and wailed that strange, warbling sound that only high-tension wire seemed to make, but thankfully it held.
Cologne peered down at him from her slightly elevated perch, an amused smile still playing across her wrinkled lips.
"Oh, don't worry, Happi. You'll rejoin your student sooner than you think, just not where you expected."
The momentary lull ended as his adversary lashed out again. He wasn't really in the mood to dillydally, though, so he knocked her strike to the side with his pipe and took off in the other direction. Of course, Cologne was on his tail in a fraction of a second, keeping up her constant string of attacks.
The scurrying battle ran for three entire city blocks. People on the street below watched with blasé interest as the two diminutive fighters ran, hopped and swung around the hydro wires with reckless abandon. Sure, it was strange, but nothing they hadn't seen before . . . though, it would lead to an eventual ban on the genetic modification of squirrels.
Another wide, descending slash of Cologne's staff forced Happosai to swing down under the cable, only to slingshot himself back up, right past the startled Amazon, and onto the adjacent roof. Doubtlessly, the annoying old bat would be on his heels in a second, so he started sprinting for the far ledge of the roof without even thinking about it.
Unfortunately, he only made it about halfway when one of the helicopters suddenly lowered down right in front of him. The diminutive master pulled up short, more than a little worried about being sucked into the madly whirring rotors if he tried to simply jump over, which left him a veritable sitting Mousse.
A second later, the massive door on the side of the machine slid open to reveal a literal firing squad training glowing energy rifles on him-
Which they then proceeded to fire.
Jinx rolled to the side, narrowly avoiding the pair of taloned feet that seemed pretty intent on shredding her back into so much hamburger. Without much effort, she used her momentum to roll forward and flip right back onto her feet, then spun around to face the ebon clad hidden weapon master.
"Hey again, Mousse." She looked around innocently, "Oh, my, where's Shampoo?"
Mousse smirked, pulling a straight bladed tai chi sword from his sleeve. "That was a nice trick, setting up that pipe like that."
The slit-eyed sorceress shrugged, unconcerned and began to slowly circle to the side. "Well, I figured one of you was bound to land on one of my booby traps. Guess I just got lucky, eh?" She added a teasing wink.
The male Amazon replied with a rather lazy swing of his sword, which she simply leaned back to avoid. "That depends on your point of view. Let's just say that it might be better to let me capture you before she catches up."
His lazy slash was followed by three rapid thrusts which she evaded without much trouble, twisting her torso just enough to let the gleaming steel slide past. Another of the perks of being an A-cup, she supposed.
She gave the bespectacled boy a Cheshire grin, "You're more than welcome to try, I know how used to disappointment you are."
Her friend/enemy broke into a smile as he picked up the pace of his attacks.
"Ouch, Jinx, that's just – Ouch! And I was just about to tell you how stunning you looked with your hair down."
Jinx hopped over a low slash, leaned to the side to avoid the rising diagonal reverse slash then flipped backward out of the range of another thrust.
"Awww! That's so sweet of you to almost say!"
The weapon master's lackadaisical assault continued, with Jinx continuing to evade said attacks in a manner that Ranma would find infuriatingly familiar. Despite his failure to maim her, though, Mousse never lost his smile.
"I don't know about the fashion accessory, though," he added. He then pointed to the piece of yellow and black cloth which she had braided through her hair with the tip of his sword.
At those words, Jinx's smile quickly melted into a depressed frown. Apparently noticing that he'd hit a sore spot, her supposed-to-be-captor slowed his attacks to a much less hectic pace.
"Mousse," she began tentatively, forcing herself to dodge a slow slash to her temple.
"How's Ryouga doing lately?"
"The world is a dark and lonely place."
The morose mumble garnered the ear of the rather generously proportioned proprietor's as he made his nightly rounds around his establishment. Not for the fact that such a despondent deliberation was unheard of within the walls of an enterprise such as his own, however, it was 'Two Drink Tuesday' so generally the less cheerful patrons tended to be slurring too badly to be understood by this point.
It didn't take him too long to determine the source of the dreary declaration. In fact, judging by just how young the young man appeared to be, the entrepreneur was surprised that the youth had actually gained entrance into his wayward watering hole. Obviously this little mystery demanded closer scrutiny.
With a forceful gait (that few had been foolish enough to compare to a 'waddle' and even fewer had survived to laugh about.) he made his way behind the long main bar to stand before the ill-dressed young man. Really, he'd have to talk to Bruno later, the Iceberg Lounge had a strict dress code, yet this boy was sitting there in a dusty T-Shirt of all things, and ties were supposed to be worn around the neck, not wrapped around one's forehead . . .
Except for the New Year's party, anyway.
"So, it appears we have a lost little duckling in our midst," he started rather amiably.
The young man, who had been avidly been staring into his caramel colored beverage, started suddenly, apparently taking a moment to register than the comment had been directed his way. In a rather lacking display of mental acuity, the perhaps too-young patron looked up and met his gaze, looking more than a tad confused.
"Huh? Wha . . . No, he's back in Japan already."
To quote the great Socrates: 'I drank what?' Just how inebriated was this young vagabond?
"So, my fine young friend, just how much have you had to drink tonight?"
He might as well tally the damages. As if his establishment didn't have enough problems with the various arms of the legal profession, official and vigilante alike. The last thing he needed were accusations of underage drinking going on.
The young man, obviously Japanese (though he spoke flawless English), glanced down at the drink before him, then back up.
"Um, well, I guess this is my third one. I guess I should slow down, though, this Dr. Pepper stuff always goes to my head."
Hmm, only drinking soda pop? Well, now that he had gotten a better look at the youth, he looked lucid enough, just a little on the slow side.
"Fair enough, fair enough. Now, if you don't mind me asking, little Warbler, did you happen to talk to a man before you entered by fine establishment?" He raised a hand far above his own head, indicating the height of his bouncer, "Roughly this height, clean shaven and with a sloping, Neanderthal brow?"
The young man stared into his drink in contemplation, then snapped his fingers, "Oh, yeah, the bouncer. Umm, heheh . . . well, you see, we came to a slight impasse. He didn't seem to comprehend how badly I needed to get off the street before the storm broke, so we had to have a little . . . tête à tête."
The proprietor stared at the youth a little uncertainly. The meaning was quite apparent as to how the young man had acquired entrance. But this teenager, though looking a bit on the solid side, would be lucky to top five ten and one hundred and sixty pounds. The idea that he could 'converse' with Bruno, especially considering Bruno's intimidatingly thick brow, made the legitimate business man seriously consider if this youth was one of them.
The young man then let out a long sigh. "Look, I know what this is about. I know I'm too young to be in here, and I don't want to cause any trouble. But, I really don't want to get caught out in that storm. Can I please at least stay until the rain passes?"
Hmmm, well, the hatchling wasn't actually drinking any alcohol, so there wasn't technically a problem there. And, of course, this young man had already laid out the lounge's bouncer, if that was what the boy had been insinuating, so it wasn't like he was about to eject the youngster himself. He'd say the worst case scenario was that he could get one of his waitresses to watch over the young man, just to make sure, but, then it appeared that Robin (one of his newer hires, and as pretty as a peacock) already appeared to have an eye or two glued on the boy.
"Bah! I suppose there's no harm, then. Though why more people don't just carry umbrellas with them, I don't know."
Unexpectedly, the young man suddenly threw up his arms in exasperation.
"I know! I mean, if that crazy old man hadn't wrecked mine, I wouldn't have this problem! And I even forgot to grab that technological terror that Cyborg made for me when I ran out a few days ago."
The proprietor adjusted his monocle and stared down his long, pointed nose, more than just a little shocked at the young man's exuberant agreement with his statement. Add to that: the name that his young patron had just dropped suddenly raised the youth from just interesting to truly fascinating; it was enough to make him decide to keep an eye on the young man personally. He leaned forward onto the bar, making himself comfortable.
"So, the nestling has a fondness for a good umbrella, does he? Why don't you tell me a little more about this 'technological terror' that you've been traipsing around with?"
The young man took a long drink from his glass before returning it to the bar. Then, his guest looked up, a look of childlike excitement spreading across his face.
"There's a flame thrower in my umbrella!'
Mousse lashed out with a flourish of fanciful strikes, not really overly intent on hurting the girl. Not that he needed to worry about that too much, she was pretty darn nimble.
"Well, he's alive, if that's what you mean."
His quarry froze up for a second, panic suddenly filling her eyes (which to his irritation had nothing to do with the fact he was attacking her). The sorceress began to giggle nervously, "Eheheh, um, yeah, cuz I wouldn't have any way to know he survived that tornado thingy . . . heh . . . heh . . . right?"
Well, that wasn't in any way suspicious. He would have thought she'd just have had Nabiki spy on Hibiki or something, but with a reaction like that . . . Well, whatever, it was hardly any concern of his.
"Um, sure, whatever you say, Jinx. As far as the Lost Boy goes, the last time I saw him, he was in good health. He even decided to stay on with the Titans. So, you know, he's still on the continent if someone was interested . . . a pretty rare occurrence where he's concerned."
Rather than look overjoyed at the news, Jinx rolled her eyes and let out an annoyed sigh, "That's no surprise. I bet the jerk and that skank, Raven, have been all over each other this entire time."
Swing and a miss, swing and a miss . . .
"Well, if by 'all over each other' you mean, 'almost on speaking terms' then, yes, I guess you're right."
"What?"
Jinx stopped so abruptly with her shriek that he actually had to desperately redirect his sword to avoid impaling the girl's skull! If the apoplectic sorceress even noticed that she'd only lost a few strands of hair as opposed to an eye, she didn't give any sign. The panicked weapon master let out a weak sigh of relief . . .
"Th-that frigid bitch!" Jinx's follow-up outburst set him back a few steps; he didn't even notice his sword raise into a blocking position before him as the girl's arms began to flail furiously. "I freakin' tear out my own heart so she can make Ryouga happy, and she can't even be bothered to even talk to the guy? Hell, I only did that because I thought she liked him!"
Mousse backed up several more nervous steps, not so much because of the girl's ranting, but moreso because of the pink energy that had started to dance from the tips of her fingers . . . especially after an errant spark of power reduced the nearby roof door to a pile of rust topped with a shiny new doorknob . . .
"W-well, in her defense, she told me that Saotome was the most insistent on her taking things very slowly . . . if at all . . ."
That brought the young witch up short, her angry pacing stopping abruptly. Then, about a second later, Jinx brought her tiny fists up to her chest in adorable fury, "Oh, oh – that cheater!"
'Huh?' what on earth had she meant by that? This just kept getting stranger and stranger . . . and girls were inscrutable enough at the best of times.
Then, in a nearly professional example of instantaneous mood swinging, Jinx suddenly switched from irate to thoughtful, "Hmm, still, that was pretty sweet of him . . . Oooh, I don't know if I should kiss the jerk or kill him!"
Ahh, he knew the answer to that one.
"I highly recommend the latter," he suggested helpfully.
She shrugged playfully, "Ok, but only because you've been so nice tonight. Of course, now I really can't let you catch me."
Mousse casually looked up above Jinx's head; for a moment he found himself torn . . . but, finally –
"Well, you might want to take two steps to your left, then."
Jinx looked at him strangely for a fraction of a second, but complied immediately . . . a faint trace of pink flickering from her toe as she did-
"Aiyah!"
Just in time to avoid Shampoo's aerial bonbori smash! The lavender haired beauty landed from her rather impressive leaping attack – only to disappear just as quickly, as the roof inexplicably collapsed under her rather meager weight. Mousse winced as Shampoo's battle cry dissolved into a surprised scream as she fell into the apartment below . . . only to wince all the harder as that scream was abruptly cut off by the sound of someone landing in what sounded to be a very full bathtub . . .
'Oh man, that was going to cost him . . .'
Both the pink haired sorceress and him stared at the jagged hole for a long moment before Jinx turned to stare at him, an honestly confused expression on her face.
"Ummm, not that I mind, but . . . why?"
Mousse shrugged, trying to appear more confident then he felt, "Well, she's going to kill me already, so what's one more accident? Besides, could you imagine what Hibiki would do if he found out we were the first ones to see you again, and that we actually hurt you?"
She smiled cutely, before a devilishly naughty look ambushed the cute smile and usurped its place.
"You know, Mousse, if you help me get away, I can totally make it worth your while."
He tugged at his collar, suddenly feeling a little hot under it. After all, it didn't look like he was the only one that had been working out lately. "Ahhh, heheh, well, you're nice and all, b-b-but I don't really . . . like you like that . . . heh . . ."
Her mischievous grin transformed into an annoyed glare. "Okay, first of all: unnecessary roughness on my feelings there, and second, I wasn't talking about me, birdbrain!"
The Hidden Weapon Master rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment, "Heh, umm, sorry about that. And, really, I'm sorry, but I just can't let you go like that. There's a difference between keeping you alive and betraying my duty, you know?"
"Fair enough-" Then, without warning, the slight girl made a sudden dive to the left, only to suddenly juke back to the right and start running for the edge of the building as he took a misstep in the wrong direction.
He recovered quickly and chuckled easily at the childish evasion. He then simply leapt up and over the young villainess. She was good, but still not in their league physically, yet. He landed directly before her and lashed out with a horizontal slash, more intent on disrupting her balance than harming her.
Rather then stumble, though, his surprising prey actually arched her back nearly level with the ground, letting the blade pass a mere inch from her nose. Then, without even using a hand to set herself, Jinx flowed with her momentum into a tight back flip; even lashing out with a kick to his sword hand as she did.
Mousse was impressed by the maneuver, but not overly shocked and easily moved his weapon out of the way. With a twist of his wrist, he twirled the sword around in a flashy display before lunging forward into an overhead slash.
Jinx landed perfectly from her back flip and pirouetted gracefully to the side, avoiding his sword by a hair's breadth. She even swung out a dainty, glowing backhand aimed at his wrist. Not to be outdone, he circled his wrist around hers, swirling his sword around in a broad circle to catch her wrist.
Except, unburdened by three feet of steel, his agile opponent actually twisted her wrist back around his wrist, avoiding a nasty cut, and tapped a single finger to the cross guard of his sword-
With a loud 'ping' the screws holding the tang suddenly popped out and the entire blade slid out of the hilt, flying right over the edge of the roof!
The Hidden Weapons Master took a hasty hop back and stared at the wooden hilt in his hand in disbelief. He then looked up at the wickedly smiling female before him.
"Wow, you've really improved, Jinx."
Jinx tilted her head to the side, her smile flowing into a knowing smirk.
"And you've really been holding back."
"W-what? Who, me?"
The lovely sorceress rolled her pink tinted eyes.
"Oh, please. You've only been fighting with one sword. When was the last time you attacked anyone with just one weapon?"
Mousse chuckled in amusement, "My memory fails me. Still, don't sell yourself short. This is actually a more difficult fight than I was expecting."
She gazed back in confusion, "Difficult? What are you talking about? Neither of us is going anywhere even close to full out."
He shrugged, "It's not really a matter of what we're not doing, so much as what you are doing; possibly without even knowing it. Even as we speak, you're releasing a large, yet steady . . . fog, I guess would be the word, of chi, just like we taught you to do to fight Raven. In effect, you're making yourself so obvious, that I can't actually follow or anticipate your movements with my chi senses, so I have to rely only on my eyes."
His companion's mouth formed a tiny 'o' as she comprehended what he was saying.
"Wow, no wonder you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn the way you've been fighting."
Hey now! That hadn't been very nice, teasing him like that just because he was trying . . . to . . . capture her? Hmm . . . okay, maybe he could cut her a little slack. Besides, she actually liked Hibiki, so it was obvious that she was a few noodles short of a ramen bowl in the head.
"Hmph! Well, if that's how you feel, then maybe we should, how did that guy put it: Kick it up a notch?"
His mischievously inclined companion leaned back against a nearby antennae, smiling evilly, "If you insist, you cute little duckling, you."
Sheesh, the way she was acting, one would thing she'd been dating Saotome, not Hibiki. Well, he'd given her fair warning, it wasn't his fault she was so careless. With that, he sank his hands into his sleeves and slid them into his combat claws. With their shorter reach and lighter weight, he could better compensate for his opponent's unarmed speed advantage.
Then, with a grand flourish, he pulled the weapons from his sl-
Jinx snapped her fingers.
-eeves . . .
A second later, he nearly fell backwards as fifty feet of chains (Tangled hopelessly around both of his claws in a nightmarish Gordian knot.) was dragged from his sleeves along with his claws.
The rattle and clanking of chain falling around his feet was nearly deafening as the one hundred and fifty pounds of steel did its best to drag his hands to the gravel of the rooftop. Mousse looked down to the small mountain of impossibly tangled chains pooled around his ankles, then looked up to the pink haired sorceress that continued to lean before him.
"Oh – oh – you just suck!"
Jinx covered her obscene smile with a dainty hand.
"What are you talking about? It's not my fault that you don't know how to store your junk."
"Do you have any idea how lo-"
Mousse's rant was cut off when an ominous noise suddenly caught his attention. Below their feet, the sound of a door slamming with enough force to shatter snapped them out of their childish repartee. It was quickly followed by a series of thunderous footfalls traveling down the length of the building, only to suddenly grow in volume as they reached the nearby staircase that led down from the roof. Mousse gazed nervously at Jinx, who glanced nervously back at him as the sound of furiously stomping feet flowed up the staircase and past the rusted remains of the door . . .
And then the entire rooftop bunker exploded!
Jinx stared at the cloud of debris, then back at him, "T-that was so unnecessary; there wasn't even a door there!"
Rather than waste his last breath replying, the male Amazon decided to spend it more productively: in Prayer.
Then the cloud of concrete and mortar dispersed, carried away on the gentle air currents that caressed the fair metropolis; only to reveal a furious Shampoo . . . At least, he thought it was Shampoo. True, the girl's hair was a familiar (and still steaming) lavender, but this girl was wearing a pair of ill fitting jeans and what looked to be a man's button up dress shirt . . . Oh, and she'd managed to acquire an oversized Chinese broadsword from somewhere.
The furious female pointed the gleaming weapon in their general direction-
"You I kill!"
Yep, it was Shampoo all right.
Jinx turned back to face him.
"Soooo, what do you think the odds are that she means me?"
Mousse let out a resigned sigh.
"Actually, I'd say they're about fifty-fifty . . ."