A/N All characters belong to the writers and creators of The Walking Dead. Except those that arose from my own twisted imagination.

Possible trigger warning: descriptions of child abuse in this chapter. Also, while writing that section, I was listening to Johnny Cash's version of Hurt. Great song, one of my favorites, and I think Daryl might have had it on his playlist.

Chapter 34-Hurt

Carl got up early and was at the practice range with Dani's bow. She had given it to him the night before and talked to Rick about keeping an eye out for one on the next supply run. Rick walked down to the range and watched Carl practice.

"You're really getting good at this." Carl twisted his mouth up in annoyance.

"I still can't hit the bullseye. I aim for it and I can't hit it. Dani hits it every time." Rick patted his shoulder.

"You just need to keep practicing. Dani's been hunting since she was six. I think she said once that she was twelve when she got her own bow so she must have learned how to use one long before that. That's a long time for her to practice and get that good." He followed Carl to the target to retrieve the arrows. "Dani told me you really like it. She told me what to look for when we go out on a run so we can try to find you one of your own." Carl shrugged.

"I'd like to get my gun back. I mean, this is cool but I'd rather have my gun." Rick nodded.

"I understand that but we talked about this. You're still a kid Carl. You've shouldered more responsibility than most adults ever do, I get that. But I have an opportunity here for you and for Judith to have semi normal lives and I want you both to have that. Giving you your gun back, that would be like I've given up on that." He looked hard at Carl who was looking at the ground. "Do you understand what I'm sayin'?" Carl looked back at the target and then back at the ground.

"I guess." Rick smiled.

"I promise you. If it looks like something's going down, that we'll need every able person in this prison to be armed, I will give you your gun back. Until then, just enjoy being a kid alright?" Carl smiled and nodded. Rick pulled his son in for a hug and struggled to hold back the tears. It wasn't just Carl anymore. It was Carl, Judith, Maddie, Dylan and now Daryl and Dani's unborn baby. All of these kids were going to grow up in this world and Rick hated to think that not one of them would have an actual childhood. He let Carl go and Carl looked up at his dad.

"Dad, it's going to be alright." Rick nodded.

"I know that." He motioned towards the target. "Now go on and practice." Carl smiled and loaded another arrow.

Dani pulled the blanket out of the linen storage and carried it back to hers and Daryl's room. It was getting colder and, even though sleeping with Daryl was like sleeping with a furnace, she needed a blanket. He had gone outside to talk to Rick and see if Abraham, Tyreese, Michonne and Taylor had returned. Dani took the opportunity to change out the sheets and mentally figure out how they were going to put another person in this cell. It was slightly bigger than the double cells, which didn't seem right in her opinion. The bed was against one wall with a small built in, fold down table right next to it where they kept the lantern and a shelf on the wall above the bed that ran almost the entire length of the wall. Over in the corner was the toilet and sink, both bolted to the wall. On the wall with the door was a built in seat and a larger fold down table. There wasn't room for another bed and, while there was room for a small basinet, there was no way a crib would fit in there and still leave room to move. She and Daryl kept their few clothes, personal items and their ammunition on the shelf above the bed but where would they keep the baby's things? How could they possibly fit another person in here? She backed into the doorway and put her hands on her hips, frowning as she mentally tried to rearrange the room.

"You look lost in thought." Dani jumped when Carol walked up behind her. "What are you looking at?"

"Trying to make this space bigger and it's just not happening." Carol smiled.

"Is it getting too crowded in there?" Dani snorted.

"Not yet. I just…I just think we need more room in here, you know? I never did like these cells." Carol nodded sympathetically and Dani shrugged. "I don't know. I'm nesting I guess." She bit the inside of her cheek at the nesting comment and hoped it would sail over Carol's head. Thankfully, it did.

"Dani, I wanted to apologize for the other day. I was being nosey when I was hinting around about you and Daryl and kids. I know I offended you and I just wanted to tell you that I was sorry." The slight twinge of guilt that screamed through Dani's skull caused her to bite her tongue to keep from blurting out the truth, that Carol's tingling spidey senses were right on the money this time. Instead, Dani looked at Carol and smiled.

"It's ok. I'm sorry I bit your head off about it." Carol gave Dani a hug and walked back to the main cellblock. Dani turned back to the cell and began chewing on her thumbnail as she tried to figure out what to do. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Daryl walking towards her. He walked up behind her and put his arms around her.

"What're you doin'?" He brushed her hair off of her neck and kissed her. Dani leaned back against him.

"Just thinkin' that we need to tear down a wall to make room for everything." Daryl chuckled.

"What, you already plannin' out the nursery or somethin'?" He maneuvered her into the cell and let go of her to set his crossbow and gun down. Dani sat on the bed.

"Daryl, last night when I told you that I loved you…" His back was to her and she saw him go rigid. "…you acted like you'd never heard that before. It was like, you had never said it to me the other day and we were right back the way we were months ago when I couldn't even touch you without you flinchin' or pullin' away. Is there something wrong?" Daryl turned around and his face was serious.

"There was. I was scared."

"Scared about the baby?" Daryl shook his head.

"Not about the baby. I was scared of what I would do after the baby gets here." Dani frowned.

"Daryl, what are you talking about?" Daryl sighed and leaned back against the wall. He crossed his arms over his chest and seemed to sink inside himself.

"I know you've figured out that I didn't have the best time growin' up. I've told you my father hit me but you don't know the half of it." Dani bit her lip.

"Daryl, you don't have to tell me. I've seen the scars. I know what you must have gone through." Daryl shook his head.

"No I have to tell you this and get it all out so it stops eatin' me up inside. My dad used to beat me with a belt, a big thick brown leather belt with a big silver buckle on it that he would sometimes knock me upside my head with. And when that wasn't handy, or he was too drunk to find it, he'd make me take off my shirt and stand in a corner while he threw lit cigarettes at my back. I'd have to take the pain. If I didn't, if I let out one sound, he'd put the cigarette out somewhere on me, grinding it in. When he did that, I thought I could smell my skin burnin', you know? Merle got it too but he kept gettin' locked up and then he was gone soon as he turned fourteen but I had to stay there and take it from that bastard." Dani could see he was going back in his mind, to the time when he was a little boy and these unspeakable horrors were being done to him. "I'd try to hide when I was little but he always found me, even as drunk as he usually was. He'd find me and then whatever punishment I got would be worse. I learned I just needed to stand there and take it and it would be over faster." Dani put her hands over her mouth.

"Daryl, I'm so sorr…" Daryl kept talking like he never heard her.

"What got me the most was, these were punishments for things I didn't even know were wrong. Like the time I dropped a hammer on my big toe and broke the nail. Bled like a son of a bitch. I was six or seven and couldn't stop crying because it hurt real bad. He beat me with that belt for what felt like an hour for cryin' like a pussy, tellin' me I had to be a real man and just suck it up. And there was the time I was in fourth grade and had to write a story, I can't remember what about, but the teacher liked it and I got a big gold star sticker on it. I thought he would have been proud of me for once, you know, 'cuz he always said I was stupid. He said I was actin' better than him since he never got past third grade and tore up the paper and burned it. Then he beat me so bad that he had to take me to the hospital after he was done because he split my head open with that damn belt buckle. He wasn't worried about me, he just didn't want to clean the blood up off the floor. I never tried to do anythin' in school again after that. And this whole time, from the day my mom died, he'd take off with whatever bitch he could shack up with and I was by myself for days at a time with no food in that damn house. When he'd come home, he'd beat on me again just because I was still alive, I guess. And it just kept goin' on like that until I finally took off when I was sixteen and went to go live with Merle after he got out of jail for selling pain pills. I never wanted to be close to anyone, ever. I didn't want to have to explain the scars, didn't want anyone to see that I flinched whenever someone went to put their hands on me, so I just turned into an asshole. No girl wanted to be near the pissed off redneck who'd cuss her out for touchin' his truck and most of the guys were scared I'd kill 'em. I just became Merle. I didn't do the drugs he did, didn't screw the skanks he brought home but other than that, I was Merle. Merle thought I was queer because he didn't think I liked girls. I liked girls, I just didn't know what to do with 'em. He made me hook up with a couple of girls he picked up at some honky-tonk to make sure I was normal, or at least what Merle considered normal. It didn't mean anything, I don't even remember what they looked like or what their names were. I didn't feel anything for them at all. And I treated them like shit, called them both whores, made one of them cry. Merle was real proud when I did that, you know, cuz that's exactly what he did to all of them." Daryl was looking at her hard. "When all this shit happened, I tried to act just like Merle did. I tried not to care about anyone and did a damn good job of it until Merle got his ass left on that rooftop. And then there was just the group left. I could've taken off on my own, tried to track Merle down but I didn't. We went to the CDC, found Hershel's farm, lost Sophia, got run out of there by walkers and finally made it here. These people are my family and they've treated me better than my blood kin ever did." One corner of his mouth turned up in a smile.

"And then you showed up. I watched you, how you were, how you laughed and talked and I didn't get it. With everything that happened to you, you were still fightin', still livin' your life and you weren't about to let anything get you down. I didn't know why you cared about me and I didn't know why I felt anythin' for you. All I know is the night Merle brought your daughter to the prison and shot her was when I knew. When I was holdin' you back I felt all that fight leave your body and you went limp. I saw your eyes and there was nothin' there anymore, no sass, no feelin', no life, nothin' there at all. I thought I was gonna lose you and that feeling scared me more than anything. My whole life spent tryin' to keep from feelin' anything and I couldn't stop caring about you." He paused and ran his fingers through his hair. Dani walked over and put her arms around him. He hugged her back and she could hear his heart pounding.

"After that first night with you, out in the yard, I turned into Merle. Yellin' at you, sayin' all those things to you to make you leave me alone because I didn't think I could give you what you needed. I didn't think I could love anyone or anything. I know that part of Merle, part of my daddy, was still inside me and I've been thinkin' the past couple of days that I could do the same thing to the baby." Dani frowned and pulled back.

"I don't understand. Do what to the baby?" The sadness in Daryl's eyes almost broke her heart.

"That if that little bit of Merle inside me was there tryin' to keep me from lovin' you, maybe there's a little bit of my daddy still inside me that would come out. And that I could end up hurtin' my kid the way that son of a bitch hurt me." Dani shook her head.

"That would never happen Daryl. You're better than that." Daryl's shoulders slumped forward and he hung his head.

"But if I thought it, that means it's there, right?" He looked at her, head still down, his hair in his face as if hiding in shame. "When you told me you loved me last night, I felt guilty because how could you love someone who might hurt your kid? If that could happen, then I don't deserve to be loved by anyone." Dani felt the tears welling up in her eyes as she realized what he was saying. He was that little boy, fighting Merle, hiding from his father and building a wall around himself so he'd never have to hurt or be hurt ever again.

"Daryl, you're not your father. You're not Merle. I don't think you ever were. Acting like them was just that: an act. You've always been a sweet, loving man. There's no way you'd be able to love if that wasn't already in you. And I know that you'd never, ever, lay a hand on your child. Those thoughts, those fears you have, that proves that. It means that you don't want to be that man." Daryl straightened up and caressed her cheek, frowning.

"How come you can see things in me that I can't?" Dani blinked back the tears and swallowed hard.

"Because you spent your whole life havin' people tell you that you were nothin' and I see who you really are. And as far as this baby is concerned, you're gonna love him no question. And he'll love you too." Daryl smiled.

"You keep sayin' he but what happens if he turns out to be a girl?" Dani laughed softly.

"Then we'll teach her to shoot, to climb trees and track game so she can go huntin' with her daddy." He nodded, the smile finally reaching his eyes.

"And her momma too." Dani raised up to kiss him and paused right before her lips touched his.

"I love you Daryl." He nodded slightly.

"I love you too." She opened her eyes and looked into his.

"Do you mean that?" He brought his hand to the back of her neck.

"Yeah, I do." He brought his lips to hers and she knew he was telling the truth.

Rick and Hershel were pulling weeds in the garden when they heard the horn honk three times. Rick got to his feet and ran to the gate to open it with Glenn when he saw the bus following immediately behind the car.

"What they hell Rick?" Rick shook his head at Glenn.

"I don't know." Both the car and the bus drove through the gate and they quickly shut it. Rick turned towards the practice range where Carl stood with Maddie and Dylan, all three kids staring at the bus.

"Carl! Take those kids inside and get Daryl out here now!" Carl didn't hesitate and ushered both of the little kids inside. A minute later, Daryl was running out the door with Carl and Dani right behind him. Abraham stopped the car and motioned for the passengers of the bus to stay inside. Rick could see frightened faces of women, children and a few men looking out the windows at him. Abraham, Taylor, Michonne and Tyreese got out of the car and Abraham approached Rick.

"The Governor left these people in Woodbury. I couldn't leave them there to die." Tyreese walked around the car to join them.

"It's true Rick. These people, they'd never have made it there. They were runnin' short on food and supplies. We have to take them in." Taylor nodded.

"We got D block cleared out. We can move them in there. There's hard working people on that bus Rick. They'll earn their keep and it's not like we don't have the room." Rick looked at the bus and then at Daryl and Dani. Rick walked over to her.

"Dani, you know some of these people right?" She nodded. "I trusted you when we let Bill, Abraham and the others in. What's your gut say about this crowd?" She walked over to the bus and looked at the faces peering out at them. Some of them registered shock at seeing her and others smiled and waved, relief apparent on their faces.

"They're good people Rick. I never said that Woodbury was filled with rapists and murderers. They trusted the Governor. I did too once. So did Abraham, Taylor, Alice, Bill, Andrea…we all fell for the mask, the security he offered when the world went to shit. Just because we saw the face behind the mask before these people did means that we were stronger but it doesn't make them bad people. Let them move into D, have them pull their weight. They'll fit in fine here, once they've settled." Rick walked closer to her and spoke quietly.

"Daryl told me you're pregnant." She sucked in her breath and turned her head slightly to look at Daryl. Rick raised his hands. "Now he had his reasons for tellin' me when he did. What I'm askin' you is are you absolutely sure you want to bring strangers in here right now?" Dani looked back at the bus.

"They're not strangers to me Rick." She turned back to him. "They were my friends. You can't turn them out on the road. I understand what you're sayin' but I have no problem letting them stay here." Rick nodded.

"Alright then. Abraham, let 'em off the bus."

Karen and Baylor sat in the car at the driveway to the prison. They'd followed the bus from Woodbury to the prison and were both surprised when they realized that the prison group was letting them stay. They had about five hours until nightfall and they knew they needed to start heading back and tell the Governor the news. With the rest of Woodbury at the prison, their little group of the Governor's inner circle was now completely outnumbered.

"You ready to head out?" Baylor asked as several biters ambled slowly towards the car. Karen nodded.

"Yeah, let's get out of here." He started the car and headed south towards Fort Benning.