A/N All characters belong to the writers and creators of The Walking Dead. Except those that arose from my own twisted imagination.

Chapter 55-…For I Have Sinned

Rick walked into the church followed closely by Michonne and Tyreese. They walked straight up to the altar where Father Gabriel still knelt, still praying.

"Father we need to talk." Father Gabriel opened his eyes and stared intensely at the crucifix.

"Jesus forgive me. This is my penance." Rick looked at Michonne and was aware that the church was silent. Everyone was waiting to see what was happening.

"There's a message written on the side of the church Father. Did you know that?" Father Gabriel closed his eyes tightly and nodded.

"Yes I did." Rick waited impatiently for an explanation, but it was obvious he was going to have to drag it out of him.

"Well? What does it mean?" Gabriel bowed his head and began to pray again. Frustrated now, Rick walked over, grabbed Gabriel and hauled him to his feet. The priest cowered and stared at Rick with fear in his eyes. "Why would someone write that on the church? Why are they writing that to you?" Tears rolled down Gabriel's cheeks.

"Because I left them out there. That night. The dead were there and my congregation came to the church, to me, for protection and I…I locked the doors." He closed his eyes and choked out the next words. "They were pounding on the door begging me to let them in. I heard the screaming, the children crying but I was too afraid. They begged me to help them and I…I locked the doors. I left them out there and listened to their screams. I betrayed God and I betrayed my flock because I was afraid." Rick let him go and Gabriel buried his face in his hands and sobbed.

"Is that all you did?" Gabriel nodded. "You're not lying to me are you?" Gabriel looked up and met Rick's eyes.

"I swear to you that's all but it's enough. I didn't help my congregation because I didn't want to die. I've spent however long it's been here and alone, doing penance and trying to atone for my sin." Rick let go of him and Gabriel sank to his knees, sobbing.

"God forgive me I'm so sorry." Rick turned and looked at the group. The reactions were a mix of disgust and sympathy. Over the past two years, they'd all had to make decisions on who they'd allow in their various groups. At the prison, they'd turned away almost as many people as they'd taken in. Rick remembered a run he'd made with Michonne and Carl over the winter. They'd travelled back to Rick and Carl's hometown. Carl had wanted pictures of Lori for himself and Judith. On the way, they'd passed a young man wearing an orange backpack. He was trying to wave them down, running after their car as it sped past. They didn't stop. They'd gone to his old town and found much of it burned, including his old home. Frustrated that they'd made the trip for nothing, they'd decided to loot whatever else they could carry: clothes, supplies, weapons. Michonne had found Daryl a new crossbow to replace the one he'd lost when he'd been captured at Woodbury. Then Rick remembered the restaurant where their family picture was hung up on the wall of birthdays from the time four years ago when they'd gone for Lori's birthday dinner. They'd gone to the restaurant, cleared out the walkers and taken the picture. There was Lori, beautiful and laughing. They'd been so happy, had so much fun that night. Rick looked back towards the smoking remnants of his neighborhood and had thought of Morgan for the first time in forever. He hoped the man was ok, that he and his son were safe. They'd gotten back in the car and drove home to the prison. On the way, they'd passed the man with the orange backpack. He was on the ground with two walkers feeding on his body, the orange backpack right behind him. He'd probably thrown the backpack at the walkers in an attempt to outrun them and failed. The walkers had stood up to attack the car. They led the walkers away from the body and further up the road. Then, Rick put the car in reverse and sped back. Carl opened the door and quickly grabbed the backpack. They had shut the door, sped off and never spoke of it again. There were others, of course. They all had stories of people they'd shut out. Alice, Tyreese, Glenn, Taylor, Andrea and Dani had been more willing to let people in, more unwilling to leave people out there, but even they had made choices. JR walking up beside him brought Rick out of his thoughts.

"Rick is it? I know I just got here and I don't know much about how you've handled things like this in the past but it sounds like the preacher here is more than sorry for what he's done and would do things differently now." He looked over at Gabriel. "You'd let your people in now wouldn't you?" Gabriel raised his face to JR's.

"No," he said. "I don't think I would." JR scrunched up his face, narrowed his eyes and backed away.

"Well then. What the shit do I know?" He turned and walked back to stand with Daryl and Tyreese. Gabriel looked back at Rick.

"What are you going to do? Kill me?" Rick shook his head.

"No, we won't kill you. This is your church and your conscience and your god. We'll leave you with that." Rick turned his back on Gabriel and walked over to JR and shook his hand.

"Nice to officially meet you. See you've got acquainted with everyone real quick." JR smiled.

"Yes sir. Any family of Dani's is family of mine." Surprised, Rick filed that in the back of his mind. That conversation could wait, they needed to move on.

"Were y'all able to find a vehicle?" Maggie shook her head.

"Nothin' big enough for all of us. We need a bus or an RV at this point."

"Why don't we just get a couple of cars?" asked Alice. "We can caravan it." Maggie shook her head.

"No we go together. We are not splittin' up again."

"The church has a bus," Everyone turned to Father Gabriel. Rick turned to face him.

"Pardon?" Gabriel's eyes were frantic.

"The church has a bus. It's parked at the school just up the road." Glenn spoke up.

"We know where that is. We went past there before we crossed to the train tracks." Rick started to speak when they heard a loud bang outside. Rick acted quickly.

"Get the kids in the office and lock the door!" Andrea, Alice and Dani quickly ran into the Gabriel's office. Getting the kids settled, Alice ushered Andrea and Dani back out.

"I've got the kids. They need you."

"I'm not leavin' Jesse again Alice." Alice shook her head.

"You're not, we'll be fine and you're a better shot than I am. Go. I've got him." Dani flashed back to Carol saying those exact words to her when Dani left Jesse to help confront the Governor. She took a deep breath and looked again at her son. He smiled up at her, not knowing what was happening. Alice saw her hesitate, stood and pushed her out the door.

"We need you Dani. I've got the kids. Go." Andrea had also hesitated outside the door and when Dani left, Andrea closed and locked it behind her. Dani joined Daryl and he handed her a gun. She met his eyes and he nodded.

"I know but he'll be fine. It's not like last time." Dani nodded and held her gun in front of her, focusing on the barricaded front door.

"Hey piggies!" The taunting voice of Gareth came from the side of the church followed by distant laughing and pig squeals. Rosita took point by the window and looked through the boards. She looked at JR and held up two fingers. JR positioned himself on Rick's right.

"Rosita says there's two on that side. We need eyes on the other window." Maggie heard this, nodded at Glenn and crept over to the other side of the church. She quickly signaled back two. Rick looked at Daryl on his left and JR on his right.

"Four of 'em so far that we can see." They watched the barricaded door start to give way as something slammed against it. Daryl felt the color drain from his face as he remembered.

"Rick, we had to break that lock to get in here." Rick nodded.

"I know." Suddenly, Rick realized he didn't know what to do. He knew they couldn't start shooting blindly through the door or the windows. That would destroy whatever protection they had from the dead. He also wasn't about to let those murderers from Terminus go. He couldn't forget Neil's glasses flying off his face and hearing them clatter into the trough. How Chuck's blood sprayed from his neck. People that he had saved, people that he'd spoken to. Neil was just a kid. Chuck had always been willing to help out at the prison. They had been good people and their killers needed to die. Rick was lost in his thoughts. He didn't hear the hooting outside or Daryl next to him. He didn't notice Carl turning to him or hear him say "Dad".

"Dad?" The concern in Carl's voice is what made Michonne turn to Rick. Rick was staring straight ahead, the sweat pouring down his face. He was swaying slightly back and forth and it was apparent he was no longer mentally in that church. Michonne had seen that expression twice before, once when the Governor executed Hershel and again when that pedophile was attacking Carl. She approached him cautiously.

"Rick?" Her voice shook him from his trance. Michonne's face was filled with concern. "Rick, we need to do something." Rick looked around to a roomful of faces looking at him. Some expressions were concerned, others expectant. There was another bang against the door and then yelling outside. Rosita looked out through the window.

"Dead heads are chasing them off." Maggie looked out her side.

"Over here too. Looks like it could be a small herd. Hard to tell in the moonlight." Glenn and Taylor hurried to the barricaded door, checked it over and came back into the sanctuary.

"It's secure enough against walkers. So long as they don't realize we're here then we'll be ok," Glenn said. Dani took the key from Andrea and ran to unlock the office door. As soon as she opened the door she could hear her son crying. She quickly entered the office and shut the door behind her.

"Sorry Dani he's wet and hungry," Alice handed the crying baby to Dani.

"No this is good. We can't hear him out there and there's walkers outside. Hopefully that means they can't hear him either. Take Dylan and Judith out there and please have someone bring me my backpack." Alice picked up Judith and ushered Dylan out the office door. Daryl quickly came in with her backpack. She laid Jesse down on the couch, took the backpack and took out a clean diaper.

"Daryl I've got him. You should stay with Rick." Daryl sat on the floor next to her.

"JR sent me back, said they'll take first watch." Dani quickly cleaned Jesse as best she could, grateful that he hadn't had one of his blowouts, and put a pinned a new diaper on him. She swaddled him in a blanket and sat on the couch to nurse him. He latched on and began making satisfied grunting noises. Dani relaxed some though she was still worried. They were running out of water, the formula wouldn't last forever and she hadn't eaten for almost a day.

"Daryl, I'm scared. We can't keep goin' with him like this. What if we can't find someplace that's safe?" Daryl stroked her cheek.

"We'll find someplace. We'll go get that bus tomorrow and head out." She barely nodded, focused solely on Jesse, her forehead wrinkled with anxiety. He knew she wasn't listening and he had to get her out of that place she used to slip into. He gripped her chin and made her look at him.

"Dani, I will keep you and Jesse safe alright? Do you trust me?" Dani nodded, her face relaxing slightly and he kissed her. They both sat back and watched their son. His eyes focused on his mother as he ate, blissfully unaware of the danger they were all in.