Chapter Four

Nobody's interested in sweetness and light.
-Hedda Hopper

The porch creaked as Dave stepped closer to her his hand came to rest on the door frame. "What do you say Erin, will you bet on me?"

Her heart beat an erratic tattoo in her chest; she should fight, she should stomp on that bastard's foot and slam the door in his face. But she couldn't, her heart was caught in a net by the sincerity in his eyes. Hook, line and sinker.

"I don't know." She answered, using what little good sense he left her with "I'm not sure if it's worth it."
"You're not saying 'no," he challenged reaching for her hand.

"I'm not saying 'yes' either," she retorted, yanking away from him, frustration leaking from her every pore,"you don't get it. My whole life has been uprooted because of what we did! One of us is going to lose their job and we both know if you have your way, I'll be the one to step down. I'd be putting my entire life in your hands, already I run the risk of losing the respect of my kids and uprooting their lives and for what!" Her voice softened "Why should I?"

Dave started to weigh his words, then stopped. The answer was painfully simple,
"Because we love each other," he replied softly.
"Get off my porch," she growled and pushed the door closed. At the last second, Dave stuck his foot in. "What are you doing?"
"We're not finished, Erin." Dave put his weight against the door and gave a shove. Standing in the foyer, Erin and Dave eyed one another warily. It was win, lose or draw, and neither was going to make it easy for the other.

"I told you to leave."
"And I said we're not finished. I told you why we should try. Then you tried to slam the door in my face. I want to hear what you really have to say."
"You want to know how I feel," she snorted.
"Lay it on me." He said, spreading his arms wide, "No games, Erin total honesty."
With both hands on her hips, she nailed into him, he wanted honesty, and she aimed to please,
"I'm tired. Tired of being another notch on your bedpost I know you want to be a father. Twice after Carolyn destroyed you; you came crawling to me, but I can't be your back up plan anymore. I can't be the one to help you rewrite history."

Acid washed his gut, this was going to end before they had the chance to begin. "What does Carolyn have to do with any of this?"

Erin shook her head, her voice lowered to barely a whisper,"She gave you James and I can't compete with that."
For the barest of seconds she could read the agony in his eyes; ripping his heart out and eating it in front of him, might have been less painful than using his dead son as a weapon against him. But it was too late to take it back.
His eyes hard in determination he glared at her, "Do you want know what your problem is? You can't stand the fact that I'm trying to do the right thing, that you can't play the victim of a Loveless Lothario and that makes you crazy!"
"That's what you're worried about!" She huffed, that figures. Of course his reputation at the water-cooler would be at the forefront of his mind. "Well, I can assure you that your bad name doesn't need any help from me. You can rest easy now," she promised, pulling the door wide.
He caught her wrist on the door frame. "I'm not done."
"Yes you are!"

"Come on, Erin, give me one reason why we shouldn't be together. Aside from the fact that you're too damn stubborn to admit, that once upon a time you had feelings for me. Not just for me, you're too stubborn to admit that once upon a time you weren't so fucking frozen."

Heat crept up her neck and into her face, "Who the hell are you calling frozen?" Her voice took a deadly tone. "I'll tell you why we shouldn't be together, Rossi, I've never felt a damn thing for you except contempt."

Dave's eyebrow raised in a gesture of challenge, "If that was true, Sweetheart why did you end up in my bed?"
"I'm at my peak and you were easy." She shrugged her shoulders, this was the kind of sparing she was used to.
"There's a thin line between love and hate, try something else."

"What's the point in being married if we're going to make each other miserable?"
"We've never given our relationship any longer than one night. Try something else, Erin."
She eyed him, measuring her response, "Work. Your team, what will they think? I'm the boss who fucked their friend," she spat.

"So what? You said it yourself, you're stepping down anyway; and that's an excuse, a cop out. If you can't give me an answer, Erin, I swear that I am going to throw you over my shoulder and carry you down to Father Jimmy's and have him marry us."

"Prove to me that this is what you really want, and I'll consider your proposal," she said evenly.
"Okay. You want to play 'politician' and dance around the issue? I'll tell you why we should be together. We fit—we always have, we are fire and ice, Heaven and Hell rolled into two people-"
"For two people that 'fit' so well, we can't be in the same room without fighting!" She cut in.

"I'm not the on who's fighting!"
"Really? You're not? Well, I didn't think your voice could get any louder!"

Dave yanked his hand through his hair in irritation,"I can't do this. I can't keep having you pull me in both directions and expect me to tell you what I'm doing and where I'm going with this. I try to tell you what I think you should hear, and you don't listen I'm like the broken compass you expect to tell you which way is north, then you bang me against the fucking wall when I get it wrong. You want me gone? Okay." Dave held up his hands in defeat. "Your wish is my command." He turned on his heel and yanked the door open.
"What do you want from me, Dave? Do you want me to hit my knees in gratitude because you offered to marry me out of obligation?"

"You can't see the forest for the trees. I'm not the hurdle keeping you from happiness..." He sighed. "It's you. It's not whether I want you or why I want to marry you, it's that you don't want it."
"Who the hell do you think you are? The reason you want to get married is an issue-"

His eyes held hers, "I know who I am, I'm the guy handing you my heart and soul on a platter. What does it matter why we get married when all I want to do is marry you. I'm asking. I'm begging. I'm pleading with you to marry me. I don't care about how we get to the finish line, but that we got there. You want to make this about you. And what I want isn't enough for you. The sad part is that it wouldn't be...no matter what. Goodbye, Erin." Dave slammed the door behind him.

The sound of the slamming door echoed through the living room, for the second time in less than a month she let him walk out on her. But this time he wasn't coming back.

"There you go, you got what you wanted, you told him to leave, and you've cost your child its father. Happy?" Her conscience berated.
Her knees went weak she sank into an armchair, as the reality of the situation set in. Waiting for the inevitable screech of the tires in her driveway. He didn't have to come here, this conversation didn't have to happen. She flew out of her seat and tore the door open, "David Rossi, we're not finished."