When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.

-Sophia Loren -

"Fine," Erin sighed in defeat with her hand on the doorknob. "You walked out of my house...I guess you know how to come back... "

"Just-go, Mom," Paige growled, her eyes flashed with unspoken anger.

"I love you, Paige. No matter what." Erin tried to keep the pleading out of her voice, but it managed to creep in.

"I just-I can't do this, Mom. Just- leave!" Paige turned her back toward Erin just in time to hide the tears she swore she didn't have anymore.

Erin took one longing look at her daughter and let herself out and closed the door quietly behind her. With a sinking feeling, she realized she'd walked out on her daughter. The thought made her skin crawl, parents weren't supposed to leave their children behind. But she had, and she was doing it again by deliberately driving past the exit that would lead her back home. She hit the button on the car's hands free device and dialed her home number. Paul answered on the second ring.

"Hey, we just got here. Where are you?" He sounded worried. She wondered why that put more guilt in her heart instead of hope.

"I'll be home soon, Honey," she made a weak excuse. "Paige is..." Just the mention of her daughter's choices put a knot in her throat. She cleared it away and spoke again. "Paige is staying with Dad for a while. So, set the table for three, please."

"Why? She hates it there."

"I know, but she wants to stay."

"What happened, Mom? What did you say to her?" Paul stormed. His voice boomed through the small space of the car. "Why can't-"

"Don't yell at me, Paul; I am still the parent," Erin interrupted in a tone that warned him he had crossed the line. Almost immediately Paul's tirade stopped. "We will talk when I get home."

Suddenly calm, Paul took a deep breath. "There's only reason Paige would take off for Dad's." He left the statement hanging.

"That's not the only reason and I'm not discussing it here with you."

"I'm sorry... Mom...I just...I'm sorry. I love you, Mom. Hold on Paige just texted me."

She's probably informing you that your mother is a whore, Erin thought bitterly. "I love you, too. I'll be home soon. Don't defrost anything because I'm bringing dinner."

Paul hung up and Erin dialed another number. Dave barely beat the voicemail.

"Hey," he said, slipping off his shoes. He sat on the couch and held the phone away. Yawning abruptly he said, "I'm surprised you called."

"I took your advice." She pulled into the parking lot at KFC and turned off the car.

Dave perked up. "Oh, really? That's a first. On what?"

"Parenting," Erin said ruefully.

"And, how did that go?"

She pictured the way he raised his eyebrow in that self- important way that infuriated her. "And there's a reason I don't listen to you. I walked out on Paige." Hearing the bitter truth escape from her lips, she felt her heart crack for the second time in as many hours. When did she get so sensitive?

"What happened?" he asked, always the picture of concern.

"She's angry. So...angry. David, I've never seen her so mad at me."

"She's a kid," Dave shrugged. "At 17 she's a raging mass of hormones," he dismissed.

"What the hell are you trying to say?" Erin spat, infuriated that he could make that assumption so casually. "How the hell can you judge her?"

"Did you call to yell at me, or do you want a solution?" Dave returned evenly. "You made a statement and I assumed you wanted my point of view on what could be wrong."

"I didn't call for you to fix my problem, Dave. I called looking for some moral support."

"I'm fresh out of morals, Sweetheart," he drawled.

She rolled her eyes. "This is why you're still a bachelor."

"But, honestly, you're letting your kid walk all over you. If she wants to leave, let her."

"No!" Erin argued. "You're not a parent...you have no idea-"

"I'm not a parent…yet," Dave leveled. "And you're only mad at me because I'm not telling you what you want to hear. I'm not telling you to kidnap her from your ex husband's house."

"If Mudgie were missing, wouldn't you hang fliers? Wouldn't you call the pound and tell them to look out for your dog?"

"Sure, but there's a difference here, Honey," Dave measured his words and spoke gently, "Paige isn't missing, you know exactly where she is. You know that she's safe, and though Mark might be an ass, he's not going to let anything happen to that girl."

A defeated sigh fell from her lips. "She's not the girl I raised," Erin admitted. "Physically, I guess you do have a point, but the things she said...Dave. I thought I did better than that."

"You did," he encouraged.

Erin pressed her forefinger to the corners of her eyes. Damn the tears, she cursed silently. She could handle everything but the tears of self-pity and weakness. "I don't understand...why she's so upset."

Dave sighed. He knew whiney when he heard it, but it didn't suit her. Not Erin, she didn't whine and Dave didn't know how to handle it.

"She's a mixed up kid, Erin. Her world is changing and she doesn't know how to stop it. There is a lot going on and she's being hit from all fronts," he said with more bite than intended.

"My kids are not 'mixed up', David," she said hotly. Of all the crap she'd thrown at them, she'd thought they turned out well. Sure, Paul did throw a low blow and McKenzie was a little antisocial, but that was just growing pains. Wasn't it? Divorce and alcoholism was tame compared to her childhood.

"Being mixed up is normal, Erin," Dave pulled her from her thoughts. "But you can't let her walk all over you because you feel guilty."

"And what gives you the right to determine all of this?" Erin raged. "Where the hell did you get your degree from, the back of cereal box?"

Dave paused for a long moment before replying quietly, "Chaminade University. Magna Cum Laude in psychology."

Ugly words fell on her tongue, ready to cross her lips. Paige wasn't his - hell, he'd never even met her. So who was he to offer advice?

"I need to go," was Erin's clipped response before disconnecting the call.

"Before we get home," Erin said in the quiet of the car, a bucket of chicken sat in the floor board. "I owe you, an explanation." One hand navigated the highway and the other rested against the nearly invisible swell of her abdomen.

"Things are going to get worse, before they get better." She took an unsteady breath. "But whatever happens, it won't be your fault. Your father wants you more than anything... I just...I don't know how I'm supposed to do this. I'm sure you've figured out by now, but this Mom thing didn't come with a handbook. And if it did, I surely didn't receive one with your brother or sisters."

Her eyes flicked downward towards her abdomen. It was oddly comforting the way her hand sat so naturally against it. Considering the more she thought about her big news - an announcement that was supposed to be happy - the more miserable she felt.