"If you love me don't be afraid to look into my eyes and open up the gate; just like them horses when it's time to run"
-Reba McEntire-


Her phone dropped from her hand and clattered to the floor; and her head snapped up at the sound of her name. All encompassing shock spread from the top of her head down to her toes. Her heart stalled for a half second as her eyes collided with his. "Oh...David!"

She slid off the exam table and buried her face in the crook of his neck. He buried his nose in her hair, an overwhelming sense of peace came over him. His arms circled her tightly. "I should have called," he mumbled, "I shouldn't have stayed away so long."

"I thought you-my God I don't know what I thought." Her words were muffled against his shoulder. She wasn't ready to let him go. With his hand running up and down her bare back she could have fallen asleep right there in the exam room.

"I hope you're not mad, I didn't mean to ambush you."

" Oh, shut up, I'll be mad later." She kissed his cheek and held him closer."How did you get here?" She pulled away just enough to look into his eyes.

"Hotch. Apparently I'm a dick and he thought I needed this."

"Well, was he right?"

Dave grinned and tilted her chin upwards until she was staring in his eyes. "He's always right," he replied, then he captured her mouth with his in a tender kiss.

A quick rap on the door brought them back to reality. The pair were still holding each other when the doctor walked in.

Dr Welby's short stature was hidden behind an ultrasound machine, only the top of her dark curly hair was visible. "What do we have here?" she grinned.

The woman always reminded Erin of a cherub. Her round face was always smiling but behind her sweet, kind nature; the good doctor had claws and she knew how to use them. Little did they know, said claws were poised and ready to sink into them.

"I missed her," Dave said without shame. "What's going on here?" he threw a cautionary look at the machine.

"It's just routine to measure the babies growth. Up you go, Erin," the doctor ordered.

"Do me a favor and turn away," Erin said as she climbed up on the exam table for a second time.

"I'll stay up here," Dave said and moved to stand at her head. His hand found hers and he intertwined their fingers.

"How are you feeling?" Dr. Welby asked, "any pain? Headaches?" She strapped the blood pressure cuff around her arm and then jotted down the results.

Not really," she shrugged.

"Not really or you just don't want to say?" She threw Dave a pointed, no-nonsense look. "We can send him out if it would help you speak freely."

She grabbed his wrist when he would have pulled away. He wasn't leaving even if he wanted to. Not when she just got him back; but she didn't want him to worry either.

"Just be honest, Sweetheart." With the patience of a sainted monk he said, "we can't help if we don't know."

"Nothing tastes good and most of it comes back up."

"Nothing?" Dave asked, barely concealing his worry and surprise.
Erin just shook her head. "I should have let you leave the room."

Dr. Welby nodded before Dave could respond. "I'll write you a short-term prescription until you get your appetite back." She addressed Dave; "Now, this is the part where you're suppose to turn around."

The doctor pulled on a sterile pair of gloves and Erin put her feet in the stirrups. She focused on Dave and only him. His hand in her hair, and the way his thumb grazed the underside of her wrist.

"I missed you," she said softly, completely ignoring the doctor and whatever she was doing between her legs.

"I know, I'm sorry." He meant it, he always meant it. "Can we talk after this?"

"We can talk now," she offered.

He grinned, "I mean, we could but this," he pinched the sleeve of her hospital gown. "Is a little distracting."

"Hello love-birds!" Dr Welby called, snapping their attention away from each other. "For a minute I thought I'd lost you both," she teased.

"Sorry, It's just been awhile," Dave apologized.

"I heard," she nodded towards Erin, "how's the ticker?" professional concern colored her tone.
"Mending. Stairs aren't the enemy anymore."

"Good. Now let's take a look at the babies so you two can get back to giving goo-goo eyes like school-kids with your first crush."

Erin cackled, "we are not that bad," she argued.

"Well I know I am," Dave boasted and helped Erin pull her gown up to expose the swell of her abdomen.

The doctor brought the conductive gel and Erin shivered against the sudden chill on her skin.
"Here we are," Dr. Welby said as she gently pressed the probe into the gel.

Erin craned to look at the monitor, "How are they?" her voice choked with sudden fear. God help her, but she couldn't take anymore bad news. She knew she would break if something was wrong with their children and neither she or Dave would survive the fallout.

"Erin? Erin did you hear me?" His fingers bit into her shoulder, bringing her back to reality. She chanced a look at Dave, searching for any trace of agony that she was sure he would show if there was anything less than two perfect children growing in her womb.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head to chase away those terrible thoughts. "I wasn't listening."

He broke into a smile, "They're perfect!" he exclaimed and gently kissed her forehead.

"Are they?" She looked at Mary for confirmation.

"Absolutely, but there are some things we need to discuss," Mary passed Erin a tissue to wipe the gel off and Dave helped her sit up. Mary had her full attention.

"What's that?"

Mary grabbed Erin's chart and made a note. "Well, your blood pressure is higher than before, It's not overly high but it's not healthy either. Given your circumstances, It's expected but you need to keep your stress levels down."

Erin felt Dave tense beside her. Had he caused this?

"I'm going to be very honest with both of you: Taking absolutely everything that's happened so far into account, it's still a high risk pregnancy; none of you are completely out of the woods yet."

Erin nodded and let Dave take control. "How can we fix this?"

"My professional opinion is that the two of you," she said, eyeing the couple, "would be safer chained to a bed until delivery. Erin needs to stay out of moving cars and you -" She looked at Dave, "-you need to cancel your gym membership; But we all know that's not going to happen. So just relax, spend more time with your feet up, and if something tastes good, eat it."

She handed Erin a prescription, "I'll see you in two-weeks."

Then the door closed soundly behind the doctor. Was it an ominous sound? "Well that was simple enough," Dave said quietly.

"I guess," Erin said, her voice level matching Dave's.

"Hey," Dave crouched down to meet her eyes, "don't shut me out," he begged. "Things were going so well. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She flashed him a counterfeit smile. "I'm glad you're here."

"You don't seem glad, Sweetheart; you were, but you aren't now."

"I'm not," she admitted softly. She couldn't tell him-not a word that would shatter his perfect world-after cheating death. From the very beginning all he wanted was for her to stop fighting him. It was time to give him that. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"You were unconscious," she said slowly and unsure.

When did she become so shy? His brows knitted in concern and he took one of her cool hands in his. When had this strong, power-house of a woman become so insecure?

"I know, I said some things-some hateful things that would never have entered my mind much less left my mouth if it wasn't for the drugs. Erin, I need you to believe that."

"I know." She nodded and reached out to touch his chest; just above his heart. She needed to know that it wasn't going to give out and take him from her. The beat under her fingers never ceased, "I'm just not ready for this, Dave."

"Ready for what? Us?" He didn't want to hear it. He wanted her to lie and say she was going to stay forever; he refused to accept anything else.

"All of it." One hand came to rest across her abdomen where their children grew and her voice clogged with repressed emotions. Guilty tears threatened to spill down her cheeks and she struggled to blink them away.

Hotch had witnessed a full-scale melt-down in his office and he'd held her tightly and let her vent without judgment.

J.J. helped her stay calm in the hospital while Dave fought for his life; and If she had to cry, the only person she truly trusted enough, was Dave. But dammit, she was tired of crying.

"I don't know if I'm ready to do it all again. I don't know if I can be the person- the mother - the wife, that you need me to be," She admitted.

"Yes, you can, Erin." His chest hurt with emotions he couldn't name. She wanted him. She finally wanted them. "You're already exactly what we need."

"No!" She shook her head as the dam broke and she was sobbing in his arms, soaking his shirt as he instinctively pulled her close.

She had carried her fears for so long that they finally broke free. She cried harder than she ever cried in her life. "I can't do this! And I keep thinking that one day, I'm going to wake up and you won't be there. Again."

"I'm so sorry," no matter how many times he said it, he couldn't make her forget that cold afternoon when he made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. His own throat clogged as he realized what he had done: He'd broken her.

"I'm so very sorry." He rubbed her back and tried to soothe her aching soul.

"And I can't keep our children safe. I need you to help me."

"And I'm not going anywhere." He pushed her back enough to look her in the face. With one hand he yanked the collar of his shirt and buttons pinged off the floor. With his other hand he pulled her hair away from her face. She felt like a little girl as he Brushed her tears away.
"Feel that?" He grabbed her wrist and forced her palm against his bare chest.

She nodded wordlessly and matched her breathing with the thumping against her hand. "I feel it," she said shakily.

"It's never going to stop, Sweetheart; not ever. Not until we're old and sick to death of each other." He pulled her into a hug and kissed her hair.

"Nothing and nobody is going to keep us apart unless we decide to. Now can you, me and our peanut gallery, please go home?"

"That depends." A tidal wave of exhaustion swept over her and she yawned deeply. "Can you drive?"

He chuckled, "I'll drive you crazy if you let me."

She swatted him lightly, "I'd do the same for you, David," Erin replied back in a sarcastic purr, "but it would be a short journey."

He grinned. "I'll call a cab."


Too sappy?

I hope not, but I think they needed this.

Let me know, okay?

Special thanks to my friend, Flashpenguin; this story wouldn't be here without her.

Happy Valentine's Day, Friends; I love you all! Be safe and be kind to yourselves no matter what your relationship status is.

XoxoX

-Aleize

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