"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."

— James Baldwin

"Erin, I can see the smoke coming out of your ears." Dave whispered, taking her hand underneath the dinner table. They were bending the rules on bed-rest slightly, so the whole family could sit around the dinner table. Now, the kids were clearing the dishes and everything felt normal again, but he could tell she was holding onto something; he just couldn't place it. He watched her move the salad around her plate; over half a square of lasagna sat untouched. She stabbed a piece of lettuce with apathy and Dave decided to act.

"What's on your mind?" He asked again.

"She jumped slightly at his voice. "I'm sorry," she said, "I wasn't paying attention."

"Are you okay?" He asked, studying her face, she looked tired the dark circles under her eyes magnified against the bright LED lights.

"I think we should have desert in bed," she said tightly. Under normal circumstances Dave would have thought she was teasing him.

He slid his chair back and kissed her forehead. "Let's talk," he said and took the wheelchair guiding them to the bedroom.

"Listen," she said, absently picking her cuticles on her left hand; a nervous tic that Dave hadn't noticed in years. Her right hand was in a cast and laid across her knees.

"I have a meeting with Andy tomorrow." Her voice shook slightly and Dave knew she had been holding onto this awhile.

"What's he want?" Dave asked, arching an eyebrow. "Why now?" In Dave's opinion the bastard couldn't have picked a worse time to turn up the heat.

"He's retiring and he wants me to take over and if I don't meet with him-" She paused, and took a breath. "He's finding my replacement."

"So?" Dave asked, dropping one shoulder, "I thought we talked about slowing down a little."

"You don't understand, David. I either play by his rules or I'm out of the game completely." She reached up to massage the kink in her neck that spread across her shoulders. He truly didn't understand. He was used to being his own man; he wasn't under someone's thumb.

"Come on." Dave said, "I'm tired of watching you spiral." He threw back the blankets on the bed. Come sit with me and talk this out." He took her hand and helped her to her feet before climbing into the middle of the bed with his back against the headboard and his legs spread eagle.

"Move over," she demanded, "how am I supposed to fit on the edge?"

"You're not. I want you here." he demanded, patting the space between his knees.

For the first time in their lives, Erin did what she was told, "Are you comfortable like this?" She asked settling against his chest, his foot brushed against her leg.

He bent down and kissed the side of her neck, "I have the best seat in the house."

"Oh good," she whispered as his hands went to work on her neck, she melted against his body as he worked his way down her neck and across her shoulders.

"Jesus, Erin," He mumbled in her ear. His 5 O'clock shadow brushed against her cheek. "even your knots have knots."

"I blame the hospital pillows." She said breathlessly as he continued his ministrations.

"I blame Andy," Dave growled. "He shouldn't put this kind of pressure on you."

"He's-" she paused as his hands hit just the right spot on her neck. "He's- in a selfish phase since he's so close to retirement."

"You deserve to be selfish, Erin. Hell, we deserve to be selfish, this is our honeymoon phase and we're wasting it worrying about Andy."

"I think we're losing it with hospitals, heart attacks and bed rest," she countered and leaned back against him. Fully relaxed, she took his hand and pulled his arm around her. "But for what it's worth, I'm glad we're here now."

"I couldn't ask for anything else." He planted a kiss on her forehead, "but I wish we could have done this sooner."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed deeply, her head lifted with his chest. "I feel old Erin." He blew out a breath and continued. "and I think you do too." He couldn't stop himself, in the few hours she was in the hospital he read up on Placenta Previa, it wasn't a young person problem. Like it or not, it needed to be said. Maybe if they were younger, they might have a better chance. Nature was cruel and fickle, to give them everything they could ever dream of only to threaten to snatch it back at any minute.

She leaned up to meet his eyes, a weight lifted off her chest; "I really do. I'm sorry, I know that's not the right answer- I'm supposed to be bitching about hot-flashes and saving money on tampons."

"Yeah," he shrugged, thinking about diapers and formula, "I'm supposed to be retiring and driving a mid-life crisis Ferrari." Truthfully, the cherry red sport's car didn't sound fun anymore; it was a stereotype that he didn't want to live out.

"Would you say you're in a crisis?" A sudden twinge of insecurity crept into her voice, she loved him but she wouldn't hold him back if he changed his mind on her.

"I don't need a Ferrari," he snapped and took her chin in his hand so they were eye to eye. "I need you. Who else is going to keep me on my toes and make sure I eat my vegetables?"

"I know this would be easier if we were younger," she said.

"It's never easy." He ran his hand up and down her back in absent motions.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I shouldn't have met with Andy the other night. I should have been with you."

"It's part of the job." He muttered, as it much as it sucked he deserved a taste of his own medicine every once in awhile.

"No," she shook her head. "I wish I would have put my foot down… Then, maybe-" the words she was thinking got caught in her throat, maybe their children wouldn't have been put in danger? Maybe she wouldn't be completely terrified of Dave having to relive the worst day of his life.

"No." He cut her off harshly, "this is not your fault," he said, squeezing her shoulder. "We're not playing the blame game about the way our son is growing."

"I-" She paused to swallow the knot in her throat, she had the chance to let go of everything she was holding back. The words stuck in her throat, if she talked about her deepest fears they might manifest into their lives. "David I'm scared, we're in a constant state of limbo and I can't do anything about it."

"I am too." He held her tightly, "I don't want you to suffer like Carolyn and I had to...but.." he paused and kissed her hair again, "we'll get through it, one way or another. For now, I think we should sleep on it."

"You're right-" a yawn slipped past her lips, "I hate it when we fight."

He cut her off and said, "I love how we make up."

In Dave's opinion, making up was part of the fun, it was why he loved her. They found ways to get under each other's skin. On a good day, they did it on purpose.

"I love you." She leaned up and kissed his cheek before turning off of him and onto her side of the bed.

"We'll be alright," Dave said as he flicked off the bedside lamp plunging the room in darkness. Then he rolled over and wrapped his arm around her. His hand coming to rest against her baby bump, the fluttering under his hand made his heart soar and gave him hope. "I know we will."

Night fell over the Rossi home and blanketed the state of Virginia with snow and ice. Dave and Erin were oblivious to the weather outside. Safe, in their bed Dave couldn't turn his brain off. He stuffed his pillow under his head in aggravation, what if they were wrong and everything went to hell in a handcart? What then? He blew out a breath and threw the pillow on the floor, he got out of bed and covered Erin with the blanket. He needed some air and a plan. He slipped on a pair of house shoes by the bed and tiptoed toward the kitchen, catching sight of the clock on the bedside table on his way out. He decided that 4Am wasn't a horrible time to start the day; a cup of coffee would give him the boost he needed to solve all of their problems. He took his phone off the charging cord and crept out of the room.

In the kitchen, he started the coffee pot and took a seat at the table, with a pen and a notepad. Lists helped him make sense of things and he solved problems more efficiently when he could see them on paper. first on his list, what could he do about Andy? When the weather cleared up he could treat him to a round of golf and a conversation, man to man.

He probably couldn't save Erin's job but he could try.

Next, what could he do for Erin and the babies? The bedroom downstairs was efficient and comfortable but it wouldn't be enough to keep her from losing her mind from boredom. He sighed and pushed back from the table, the fresh pot of coffee called his name. He poured a steaming cup and took his list to the living room, maybe he could talk J.J. into stopping by a couple of times a week since the team was still grounded? No, scratch that, J.J. had her own family and he couldn't ask her to give that up. Maybe Penelope would pop in randomly? She and Erin got along okay. Ideally, Erin would get along with everyone and the team would offer, but he reasoned this was his cross to bear. She and the team had their issues but they came together when it mattered the most. Crossing the living room he ditched the list on the table and took his coffee upstairs. Folding baby clothes seemed therapeutic enough. Something had to be done about the 'tornado site' that was supposed to be a nursery.

He took the stairs two at a time, he would set to work to make sure sure his babies had a nice place to sleep. Going down the hall he ran through a mental list of everything they needed. Starting with, a crib; Maybe two. Could twins share? That made sense. He pushed open the door to the nursery and let himself in. Paint swatches and cardboard boxes littered the floor, he pushed himself further into the room, shoving boxes out of the way he made himself comfortable on the floor. He folded clothes and organized them by gender. Floating shelves would give the room more space while still being practical; he pulled up amazon on his phone and added a set of shelves to his Amazon cart. Along with a rocking chair and two matching cherry wood cribs. He wanted to talk it over with Erin, but putting things in the cart might spur her interest in decorating the nursery'; especially since she couldn't do much more from the bed. Online shopping seemed like the perfect antidote to the inevitable boredom she would face.

Dave looked out the window, snow continued to fall and the dawn seemed a long way off. His back was stiff against the wall and two medium sized boxes were full of baby clothes. His son had more outfits than his daughter and they needed more diapers and bottles. Standing up from the floor, his knees cracked and his foot was numb. For now, the nursery was as good as it was going to get until he and Erin decided on furniture.

He grabbed his coffee mug off the floor, the siren's call of a refill compelled him back downstairs. He pulled out his phone and checked the time, 5:30Am he needed to get dressed. It was his first day back at work since his heart attack and he had a 7:00am class. He pondered this as he walked down the stairs, leading a class of 20-somethings didn't sound remotely fun today.

Stepping off the last step, he sighed, he didn't want to leave the house today. Not in the snow and bitter cold; and he especially didn't want to leave Erin. He ran through a mental list of people who could take over for him. He could call Jethro Gibbs or Agent Cooper from the Red Cell team, either one might jump at the chance to mold the next generation of profilers.

Just as he poured his second cup of coffee, his phone buzzed.

"Yeah, Hotch?"

"Hey, I-" Aaron paused, "I know it's early, but I was hoping I could take over your classes today? I'm bored out of my mind and Jack's in school all day."

Dave's heart soared, his unasked prayers were answered, he tried to sound nonchalant when he said, "are you sure?"

"Absolutely," Aaron responded as he pulled on his suit coat. "I'm leaving the house now."

"How did you know I would say yes?" Dave asked with a grin at his overzealous friend.

Hotch shrugged, "I had a feeling you would want to be home with Erin. I can take over for you until she's back on her feet."

"Thank you, Hotch. Have a nice class and leave me notes for next week."

"You're welcome," Hotch said, "and Dave.."

"Yeah?"

"Enjoy your family."

"I will." The line disconnected and Dave put his phone on the counter. He poured a second cup of coffee, with more cream than coffee and took it to the bedroom. Like clockwork, at 5:45am Erin was sitting up in bed with the blankets pulled up to her chin.

"Good morning," He said and passed her the cup.

"You're up early," she said, taking a sip.

He shrugged, "Eh, I couldn't sleep." He took another sip of his coffee. "I was working in the nursery."

"Oh," She took another sip to buy herself some time. "How much stuff do we have?" She asked, in feigned interest. Truthfully, she didn't want to come home to a beautiful nursery if they couldn't bring home their babies.

He shrugged, "I think we can get by with clothes if we're okay with dressing our daughter in stripes and fire engines."

"I'm not," Erin said harshly, "pass me your I-pad."

Dave grinned and handed her the tablet, he had her. Hook, line and sinker.

"Don't you have a class to teach?" She snapped.

"Nope," he popped the 'P' and smiled. "I'm staying home, how else are you going to prep for your meeting?"

Erin looked at the clock, she had an hour before meeting with Andy, Dave was running himself ragged going up the stairs and back down again, dumping potential outfits in her lap. "David!" She snapped, so that he could hear her from the living room. "Please, don't bring another set of clothes down here."

"Sorry," he said peeking around the door frame. God love him, he didn't even try to look sheepish.

"I know you're trying to help me and I love you for it, but I think I'm going to take the weather-man's approach."

"Huh," Dave shrugged, "a nice top and the desk covering the rest. Good plan, just-" he paused and waggled his eyebrows. "Make sure Andy can't see you."

"Not even on my worst day," she said with a shudder. Andy Robinson might have been attractive once, but his current attitude made him ugly.

"That's my girl, you knock 'em dead." He leaned over and kissed her temple. "Try this," he plucked a thin burgundy sleeveless top from the pile.

She shrugged, "I think that one still fits." Paired with her charcoal gray blazer it would be perfect.

Dave grabbed a laundry basket from the corner of the room and swept the whole pile into it. "When we're done here, I want you to go through this stuff so we can replace it."

"David-" she objected, "We have too much to do already."

"What you mean is, we have too much to buy."

"Well we do," she shot back. "I'm probably about to lose my job and you want to spend more money."

"Because we have money." He pushed back, "Erin did we just meet? We have plenty of money to buy you clothes that fit."

He was tired of having the same arguments, he had enough in the bank account to float a tiny country but she refused to spend a dime of it. Anything the kids needed, she bought with her income and he was sick of it.

"You have money," She said quietly.

Annoyed, he reached out and pointed towards her nightstand. "Hand me the tablet."

"Why?" She arched an eyebrow at him and lifted the I-Pad off its stand.

"Because, we have money." He took the tablet and pulled up his bank information. Tapping the screen he said, "tomorrow, I'm going to the bank and putting your name on the account." He finished his transaction and handed the I-Pad back to her. "That should hit your account in a few days. Until then, use my card and buy what we need."

"You're too comfortable spending money," She said, rejecting the tablet.

"You're too comfortable not spending money because I worked too hard to earn it to let it sit in the bank," he growled, shoving the tablet in her direction. "Why can't you ease up and let me take care of you?"

"Because I can't!" She yanked her hand away from him before he could touch her.

"Because you don't trust me?" He snapped and folded his arms over his chest. "Erin, we both have scars we need to get over, but we're here now. We're not Dave and Erin anymore. We're us." he leaned across the bed so they were face to face. "We're a team and both of us need to work together to carry us."

If their life together were a romantic comedy, he would have leaned down and kissed her. Just as he dipped his head down to take a taste of her lips; she broke the moment.

"David," she huffed, it's not that I don't trust you and adore the ground you walk on."

"I sense a 'but' Erin and I don't like it," he said softly, crestfallen that his well-timed romantic declaration fell on deaf ears. Well, he figured if it didn't work on her, he could include it in his next novel.

"You're not the problem here." She said, "It's me," she whispered staring at the bed sheets. "I'm the one with trust issues here. Logically, I know you would never leave us high and dry."

"Not on your life."

She held up her hand gesturing for him not to interrupt. "The problem is, me. I've made my own money and supported myself since I was 17 and I've never been good at sharing responsibility."

"And I'd say, that's why you drank," he said a little too casually to be serious.

"I thought I asked you not to interrupt me."

"You didn't-" he shot her a boyish grin. "You gestured, but go on."

"All I'm saying is that I don't know how to be comfortable with being kept in the dark with the finances."

"Then," he reached across her lap and flipped on the bedside lamp. "Let's shed some light on the subject. We can go over the bills after I've added your name to the accounts tomorrow; but only if you promise to shop over the next 2 weeks."

Erin grinned, like the cat who ate the canary. Her she was in a king sized bed; loved well by a man she adored who was literally begging her to spend his money. "How did I get so lucky?"

"I don't know," he shrugged, "now quit arguing with me and get ready for your meeting." He walked into the en-suite bathroom and returned with her hand mirror and makeup bag and dropped both in her lap.

She looked up at the clock, "Oh shit!" she cried, she had 30 minutes to review her talking points and get dressed. With any luck she could blend her concealer enough to cover the circles under her eyes and some blush and bronzer would create the false glow of youth on her face.

She rushed through her make-up routine and tied her hair into a claw clip on the back of her head, Dave ironed her shirt and blazer and helped her into the wheelchair.

"Do you feel ready?" he asked, pushing her in front of the desk. She turned on her laptop and logged in.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

Chin up, Erin. Your life depends on it.

"Chief Strauss," Andy's broad shoulders filled her computer screen. "I'm glad you could make it." His smile seemed genuine, but the inflection in his voice suggested otherwise.

"Thank you for meeting me," she said evenly. She was steel and fire in equal measure, but inside she was shaking. "I appreciate the accommodations."

"We're glad you're here."

"We?"

"Gentlemen," The camera zoomed out and she saw a boardroom of men. Seated together in a conference room, each donned in pressed suits and silk ties. Not a single familiar face in the crowd.

Erin's blood froze in her veins, she felt trapped. She wanted to reach up and slam the laptop closed, but she knew they wouldn't go away if she did.

"Erin Strauss, meet the Ethics Committee. We would like to speak to you about your relationship with David Rossi."

"What exactly do you want to know?"