Everything is temporary if you give it enough time.
-Jewel
Dave sat down heavily at his desk. He barely escaped his meeting with Andy with his badge in hand. They'd come to a tentative agreement that he wouldn't travel with the team, instead he would consult on cases privately and teach at the Academy, effective immediately. He'd lost the negotiation with Andy but he still had his badge, 'thank the Lord for small favors.' It had been a major blow to his ego. This was a big loss and one thing he, David Rossi was not used to, was losing. As he sat there and licked his proverbial wounds, he thought about the fact that he'd seen too many agents relocated, away from the field and after that it wasn't long before they were fully retired to their Lazy-boy's and eating their own guns. That wasn't the life he wanted, not when he was still useful. Was it so wrong to want to have it all? How could Erin try to have him fired? Was she so petty that she was willing to step over him for a promotion? How could they have a decent life together if he couldn't trust her not to go behind his back? His mind burned with questions and accusations, a big part of him wasn't done fighting.
He picked up his phone and found her number. Maybe, he shouldn't have yelled at her in front of Hotch and Morgan but he hadn't said anything that wasn't true. Logically, he knew he should apologize, even if he didn't mean it. However, she deserved to sit and think for a while. How was he supposed to react when she'd betrayed him the same way that Andy betrayed her. She couldn't pretend to be any better than Director Robinson, if she was going to be as shady as him. Therefore, she could wallow in the mess she made. She'd made him act outside of his character. Even as the words entered his head, he knew he didn't mean them, but dammit, she knew how much the BAU meant to him. Oh well, nobody ever died from being yelled at. By the time they went home, Agent Rossi and Chief Strauss' disagreement would stay at the FBI, while David and Erin rode home together. He put his phone back in his jacket pocket, confident that everything would go back to normal once they left the Hoover building.
"How do you think we did?" Hotch asked, as he and Erin filed out of the 6th floor conference room. The meeting was over, but the results were unclear.
"I think we proved our point." Erin said. She reached into her purse and found her phone. "I'll let you know when they decide. Although, I'm pretty sure we won the coffee pot." She checked her messages, anticipating a text from Dave, but came up short. Inside she was devastated. As angry he was, she thought, Dave loved her enough to have come to his senses,realized that he was wrong to have treated her that way and would have texted her to apologize. Not hearing from him… knowing he didn't regret the words he said to her, cut her to the quick. Strauss wanted to cry but she couldn't do it, not at work. She had to face these same people every day. They'd heard Rossi yelling at her, would see her and know how much of a fool she had been to actually believe that David Rossi could ever truly love her and put their family first. The truth was now crystal clear, the BAU had and would always come first. She refused to be the person who went running to her office to cry alone in the dark.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Hotch asked, matching his pace with hers. He didn't agree with Strauss on a lot of things, but Dave was completely in the wrong here. Hotch knew he had to try to do something to fix this situation. If the two of them were on the outs, it would only make Hotch's life harder. Both parties would take out their frustration on him.
"Aaron, I'm fine," she lied. She wasn't fine, she felt huge, her ankles were swollen and she was pretty sure she'd just been dumped. Fine, was somewhere in another galaxy.
"I knew when this whole thing started that Dave couldn't put anything ahead of the BAU. It's his baby." She said, with a terrible note of finality that told Hotch there was no hope for Erin and his best friend. "I knew he would realize it one day. Part of me thought it would take 18 years for him to figure that out," she said, unconsciously touching her abdomen. The pair arrived outside of her office, "Thanks for caring." She said with warmth, it felt good to have someone on her side. Even if he did have a vested interest.
"Of course," he nodded and headed back towards the elevator.
Steeling herself, she let herself into her office and locked her door. She sat down at her desk and picked up the desk phone. Clearly, Andy wasn't going to make the first move. If she couldn't have her family, she needed to keep her career. If Andy wouldn't speak to her, she was prepared to ambush him on his own turf. Surely her assistant, Taylor, had some pull with Andy's secretary. She pressed the intercom button on the desk phone.
"Yes Ma'am?" Taylor asked, from her desk.
"Can you get me Director Robinson's daily itinerary?"
"I-I don't know." The young girl stammered, "that's a tall order, Chief Strauss."
"I need a meeting with him, today."
"I don't know-I'll see what I can do."
Erin rolled her eyes, the girl was more capable than she was letting on. "Come on, Taylor. Forget professionalism for five seconds. I know you have lunch with his secretary at least twice a week."
Taylor nodded, there were no secrets in the FBI. "I'll see what I can find out, Ma'am."
"I know you will" Strauss stated, disconnecting the call.
Hotch let himself into Dave's office. "Are you happy?" He growled, standing over his friend.
Dave barely glanced in Hotch's direction. "Hello to you too, Judas," Dave snarled.
"Nobody betrayed you, Dave. Why won't you believe that? You ruined your life, not me and certainly not Erin. The woman loves you. Heaven help me with the way you have been acting today, I don't know why, but she does. But my friend, you are stomping out the flames of that love with steel toed boots. I hope you like sleeping alone because Erin's not coming back to you this time," Hotch said.
"I didn't say anything that wasn't true-" Dave fired back and got to his feet.
"You jackass, you basically told her that you couldn't care less about your family, as long as you could stay in the field."
"Now, come on Hotch, don't put words in my mouth. You know I love my family-" Dave said, exasperated. He sat back down in his chair.
"That's not what you told Erin."
"I never said one good, damn thing to Erin about our family. She knows I love her and the kids, that is why I can't understand how she could torpedo my career like that. I know in the past, she did what she had to do, in her quest to shatter the glass ceiling. Fool I am, I thought, when she told me she loved me, it meant she wouldn't stab me in the back, for a title!" Dave said, barely containing his anger. The pencil in his hand, cracked and he threw it on the desk. "I know she has always had aspirations of being director one day, but I thought the life we built together meant more to her than a job in an ivory tower. How, could I have been so wrong Hotch? Somehow, I always choose women, who care more about their careers than me?" Dave begged, looking for real answers. Hurt and betrayal coursed through his veins, he'd built the BAU from the ground up only to be forced out by the woman he loved. How fair was that?
"Would you get over yourself?" Hotch hissed, hovering over Dave. "As your best friend, it's my duty to let you know that you just threw away the best thing that has ever happened to you. What I don't understand is, how things changed so quickly." Hotch continued his tirade, "when you walked in here this morning, you would have walked in front of a train for her."
"Clearly, the feeling wasn't mutual," Dave said, glancing at Hotch, feeling betrayed, self pity evident in his tone. "Why are you on her side all of a sudden?"
"Because you love her and I don't want to see you throw everything away. She didn't pull you out of the field, Dave. You have to trust me on this and get your head together, now before you lose everything you love."
Dave gestured towards the door, flippant and unrepented. "I guess it doesn't matter now."
"So, you're not even going to try? Haven't you learned anything from your last three marriages?"
"I don't have time for this, Hotch." Dave studied his watch. "I have a consultation coming in 20 minutes."
Hotch turned on his heel, the message was clear. There was nothing he could do to make Dave see reason. He wasn't willing to apologize and be forgiven. He tried to help Dave, but if he wasn't willing to make the first move...well..at this point, David Rossi would either sink or swim. With that in mind, Hotch decided to leave his friend with a few parting words.
"Dave?"
"What!"
Hotch leveled his petulant friend with a look. "You built the BAU from the ground up."
"Yeah,so what? It took 30 years of blood, sweat and tears to get where we are now and this is the thanks I get."
"You built your family, with Erin, when you had no ground." With that, Hotch walked out the door.
Erin studied her watch and let out a breath. It was lunch time, but she was swamped with paperwork. She pushed away from her desk and stood up. Her assistant had yet to materialize Andy's schedule, she'd given the young woman an impossible task. Erin stalked to the door of her office, she would have to handle it herself. Andy Robinson couldn't avoid her forever. Unconsciously, she unlocked her phone and checked her messages. She sighed, in disappointment. Still no word from Dave. Throwing her phone in her purse, she straightened her shoulders, prepared to make her case for herself and her family, or lose her job.
Erin burst into the director's chambers, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, she was well past that point.
"Chief Strauss!" Andy's assistant stood up in alarm. "The director can't see you now."
"Where is he, Beverly?" Erin snapped, with fire in her eyes, daring the other woman to cross her.
"He's not here," Beverly said.
Erin clenched her jaw, "where the hell is he?"
Beverly shrugged and held her hands up, "Erin, I have no idea. He canceled all of his appointments and went home after meeting with Agent Rossi this morning and canceled all of his appointments."
"Bullshit," Erin bit out. "No he didn't."
"He did," Beverly argued. "His wife called and asked him to come home."
"Put me on his calendar," Erin demanded. "I'm sick of him avoiding me."
Beverly dropped her shoulders, "I'll put you on the books, but his schedule is hectic. Harriet's been sick and he's been leaving early-" The secretary abruptly stopped speaking, she'd already said too much.
"Do you think she's alright?" Erin asked, suddenly concerned.
Beverly shrugged, "I have no idea. He's been a closed book about it."
"That explains why he's in a rush to retire."
"It does," Beverly said nodding her head. "But for now, I'll pencil you in for Monday."
"Thank you," Erin said. "If you talk to him..tell him.." She let the sentence hang. There was nothing she could do for Andy and his wife, even if she wanted to.
Beverly nodded in understanding, "I'll send your regards."
Erin let herself out of the office, and closed the door behind her. She felt like a heel, but she didn't know why. While she was truly sorry that his wife was ill, that was no excuse for the fact that Andy had been purposefully avoiding her. He found time to have a meeting with not just Dave but several other agents, so he could have found time to discuss what happened and his role in it, with her. The more she thought about the amount of cowardice her former friend had shown in this whole debacle, the angrier Erin got.
Of course, he was worried about Harriet's health, but still that was no excuse for how the Director had been avoiding her. It was because of him, and his witch hunt, that she and Dave were through. The man played a hand in destroying the family she and David had worked so hard to build. She could never forgive him no matter if he did eventually grow stones enough to apologise. 'Why didn't he come to me with the accusations?' she thought again for the millionth time. As was the case every other time she had pondered the question, she had no answer. Getting angry wasn't doing her any good, all it was doing was raising her blood pressure, which wasn't good for the babies.
To prove the point, her abdomen tightened painfully for the third time that hour. They had been through enough already today, from all the emotions rolling through her body, at the way their father had treated her. She thought about this, all the way back to her office.
"Alright," she muttered, rubbing her bump. "I hear you, we're going home." Whatever that meant.
"Any messages?" She asked Taylor, curtly, stalking into the office.
"No, Ma'am."
"Good. I'm leaving for the day." Erin said.
"Have a good weekend-" Taylor called as Erin brushed past her. The only person she really wanted to hear from, had no interest in speaking to her. She couldn't take being in that building one second longer. She went to her desk, got her briefcase and threw her coat over her arm. Reaching for the files in her 'in' box and then thought better of it. If the agency valued her that little, then she was going to stop letting it rule her life. The files could wait until Monday for her mental sanity, she had to get away from everything even remotely related to the FBI, for the rest of the day. She hurried out of her office, down the corridor and left the building. Dave could ride home alone, the way he'd be doing everything from now on.
"Chief Strauss?" She turned around, towards a familiar voice.
"Agent Morgan," She nodded in his direction hoping he would move on, but he kept walking towards her.
"Are you headed to lunch?" He kept his tone conversational but something wasn't right. Chief Strauss kept a death grip on her briefcase and her purse was slung over her arm. It was clear that she wasn't coming back to work.
She nodded, she wouldn't disrespect David by telling his friend she was leaving him.
"Can I drive you home?" Derek offered, stepping closer to her.
"No, thank you." she said quietly, "I'll get an Uber."
"Okay," Derek nodded and started to walk past her. "Chief Strauss?"
She looked up from her phone, "What?"
Derek paused, what could he say? He wanted to defend Rossi, he wanted to say that he wasn't normally volatile or mean, but Strauss already knew that.
"Look," Erin held up her hand. "I know he's not like this. You don't have to defend him."
"I wasn't going to."
Awkward silence fell over them, Derek didn't want to leave her standing in the parking garage alone. "Do you mind if I wait with you?"
"Sure." She agreed when it was obvious he wasn't going anywhere. She checked her phone impatiently, watching her driver's progress. Any other day, she could go home and put her feet up but there wasn't a home to go to anymore. It wouldn't be long before Dave threw her and her children out and she couldn't let that happen. Her children deserved better than that, they needed a stable home. She realized, too late, that she would never have that with David Rossi.
"Have you talked to him?" Derek asked, attempting to broach the subject.
"No." Erin said, shaking her head, "He thinks he's punishing me."
"Yeah…" Derek drawled, "I think he's got that backwards."
"Yup." Erin shrugged, "he'll be fine."
"If he gives you a hard time tonight-" Derek started.
"He won't," Erin said with conviction. As the car pulled up in front of them. "Have a good weekend, Agent Morgan."
She checked the license plate and got in. From the backseat, she texted Paige and Paul to tell them to pack an overnight bag. God, she sighed, they deserved so much better than the mess she'd made of their lives.
Halfway back to the Rossi mansion, she'd booked her reservation using Dave's credit card. Legally, her name was also on the account. Just to spite him, she threw in a prenatal massage for herself and spa treatments for her teenagers. If they were going to lose their home, they deserved a parting gift.
Derek made his way back inside the Hoover building, something about his interaction with Strauss didn't sit right. Rossi had acted completely out of character today, the way he went off on her. He had seen the two of them argue about cases before and while the interactions had been heated, Dave had never been this verbally brutal or abusive and Strauss had never been this reluctant to defend her position. But, when Derek tried to get her to talk about it, she'd brushed him off. She didn't have anything at all negative to say about Rossi, from Derek's experience, women liked to talk, especially when they were angry. Strauss wasn't angry, she was defeated. Coming to this conclusion, Derek practically ran up the steps to Dave's office. If Rossi loved Strauss the way he claimed to, he wouldn't waste time punishing her. Derek knocked sharply on the door of Rossi's office.
"Yeah," Dave grunted, reclined in his desk chair, a small measure of scotch in his hand.
"Rossi, you gotta go home."
Dave stared at Derek, "Why?"
"She's leaving you, Man. If you love her like you say you do, you might want to get home. Like, yesterday."
"No," Dave shook his head in denial, "surely it's not that bad."
"I'm telling you, Rossi," Derek couldn't keep the urgency out of his tone. "If you don't leave soon, she'll either,have tossed your stuff out on the lawn or she's going to be gone when you get home."
Dave snatched his phone off the desk and dialed Erin's number, with his heart in his throat. The call went straight to voicemail.
Arriving at the mansion, Erin rushed into the house. As much as she hated it, she ignored Mudge as he followed her into the bedroom.
"What's going on, Mom?" Paige sent an accusing glare at her mother, two duffle bags piled at her feet.
"We're getting a hotel for the night," Erin said. "Dave had a hard day and we should give him his space."
Paige shook her head, her mom wouldn't take an Uber home, unless there was something wrong. "He's leaving us-" she choked. It was the only thing she could think of that made sense. Erin went to the closet and pulled out her suitcase. "I don't know what's happening, but I need some time away from him."
"Why?" Paige snapped, she shot an accusing glare at her mother. "Did he hurt you? Did he get rough with you? Tell me what he did, Mom!"
"Jesus, no. Paige," Erin waved her daughter off. "You can call off the bloodhounds. David would never put his hands on me. One of us would be carried out in a body bag and I'm a better shot."
"Then, what... Did…. He…. Do?" Paige crossed her arms, tapping her foot impatiently.
"I just..think it would be best if we took some time apart."
"So you're leaving him?" Paige asked, the bottom had fallen out from underneath her, again and she couldn't hold back anymore. "Mom, this isn't fair!" Paige barely choked back her tears. "What happened to all that crap he said about taking care of us? He said that I didn't have to worry anymore because he was here! Why did he lie? I knew I shouldn't have believed him."
Erin went to the dresser and started to empty it into her suitcase. "I don't think he meant to lie to you, Paige. I think he meant every word he said, in the moment that he said it. I don't think he meant to hurt us. He loves us. He's just not-"
"Of course I love you," came from the doorway. They looked up and saw Rossi standing there. From the look of shock and betrayal on his face, Erin could tell nothing had changed, he was still blaming her for everything.
"What were you going to say?" He asked, his arms folded across his chest, leaning slightly against the doorframe. "Go on," he urged her, waving his hand in Erin's direction. "Tell me what I'm not. I'm sure it's not accurate, but go ahead…" He said, staring her down.
Erin dropped another stack of clothes into her suitcase and drew herself up to her full height, her chin held proudly. He wouldn't break her, not today.
She choked down the lump in her throat, he couldn't have that power over her. "You're not permanent, David."
"And I can't trust your politics, but that doesn't mean you have to leave-" He pleaded.
"Yes, it does." Erin argued, pulling the zipper closed.
"You're going to hurt yourself-" He said, reaching for the suitcase.
"More than you've hurt me?" She gave a sardonic chuckle, "I doubt that's possible." She dragged her suitcase off the bed and moved towards the door. "You should always trust me."
"Erin?" Dave reached for her elbow. "Don't you understand that work and home are separate?"
She paused to catch her breath, suddenly oxygen felt very far away. Fear coursed through her veins, she needed to get this over with.
"Erin?" Dave reached for her in concern. "What's the matter?"
"David, don't touch me," she warned, holding her hand up.
She waited a beat for the muscles in her back to loosen up and blew out a breath. "Work and home are not separate." She snapped, "I'm the same person there as I am when I'm laying in your bed-"
"What's going on here?" Paul stepped into the bedroom, a thunderous expression on his face. His big body filled the doorway and he glowered at Dave. Daring him to make a move.
"I don't want you guys to leave," Dave said.
"It's too late for that," Erin dismissed him and ducked inside the bathroom to pack her toiletries.
"Will you at least tell me where you're going."
"I booked a room at the Hilton." She said, packing her makeup.
"I'll leave-" he offered. He'd panicked when he didn't see his clothes laying in the yard. If she threw him out, it meant they still had a chance; but Erin wouldn't go through the trouble of packing for herself and the kids, if she wasn't completely serious about ending their relationship.
"No, this is your house. I need some time away-" she shook her head, regretful and hurt.
"Erin, that's not an overnight bag-"
"I can't let you blame me every time something bad happens. It's obvious you don't trust me." She said, holding her head high. "I can't live anywhere that I'm not trusted." She pulled the handle of the suitcase and dragged it behind her, towards the door.
"What about the kids?" He caught the handle of the suitcase, "you're mad at me Erin and that's fine, but please don't do this to them."
"They're my children!" She hissed through clenched teeth, and jerked the suitcase away from him. She pitched forward slightly, Dave surrendered his hold on the suitcase and caught her by the arm.
"What did I say about touching me!" Erin growled, leaving the bedroom. Dave followed behind her, as she stalked into the kitchen.
"Then sit down for a second." Dave said, brushing off her ire. "You can be mad at me from a chair!" He said, dragging a chair away from the breakfast table.
"I'm not mad," she clarified. "I'm furious! I don't want to sit down," the prove the point, she grabbed the back of the chair and shoved it back in its place, so hard the salt shaker spilled on the table. "I won't sit down, I'm taking my children and leaving you."
"Two out of the five are half mine and I won't let you take them from me!"
"That's the problem, Dave!" Erin's suitcase clattered on the floor.
"Ow!" He groaned, when the suitcase landed heavily on his foot. "Did you really have to do that?"
She turned towards him invading his personal space. Ignoring his pain, "you did this." She said, poking him in the chest. "You're the one who couldn't decide what you wanted. When push came to shove, you chose the BAU over us and then blamed me for your bad decisions. I never pulled you out of the field, I wanted you to have it all." She leaned in so close, he could smell the spearmint on her breath, from the gum she'd been chewing. Her words came out in a deliberate hiss, he'd single-handedly destroyed their family, he deserved to hurt the way that she did, "But this is still America and most judges will side with the mother." She said, shoving him in the chest. "Keep playing with me and you'll never see them."
Dave gave a bitter chuckle, his hands trembled with fury. "Bella, if you try to take my children from me, I will drag your drunken ass so far down in the courts you'll forget your own name. When I'm done with you, you won't be able to work at a public library, much less the FBI. I don't want to do that, but don't force my hand." It wasn't a threat, it was a warning. He never wanted to hurt Erin, but he would do whatever he had to do, not to lose the twins too.
Erin recoiled like she'd been doused with hot oil. "How dare you!" Suddenly, Mudgie barked sharply, interrupting Erin's retort. The dog pawed at the door and growled low in his throat.
"Where's Mackenzie?" Dave asked, he pivoted sharply towards the sliding door leading to the backyard.
"I thought she was upstairs."
"Yeah, well you were wrong." Dave wrenched the door open and raced across the backyard. He heard the noise before he saw it.
"Mackenzie-we gotta go!" Paige yelled, pulling at her sister's sweater. "Come inside and pack your bag. You forgot to put on your coat-we gotta go. Come on!"
"No!" The ten year old screeched, "I don't wanna go!" She sobbed, digging her heels into the frozen ground. "You can't make me go!" Paul's strong arms grabbed her from behind, she kicked and thrashed her body against him but she couldn't break free. "You can't make me go!" She repeated, but her older siblings were bigger and stronger.
Dave hurried across the yard with Erin at his heels, "Stop it!" Erin yelled, horrified at the scene in front of her. Her ten year old was covered in snot and tears while her son held her arms down from behind, with his arms across her chest.
"Papa! Help me!" Mackenzie hollered, Mudgie barked a warning at Paul but the boy was relentless.
"Put her down Son, before you hurt her." Dave said, reaching the group first.
"You're the one who's hurting her!" Paul spat. "You and my mom can't get your shit together." Paul said, releasing his sister.
"Yeah, I know." Dave relented, "you're right and I'm sorry."
"Mackenzie, come here," Erin said.
"Let me talk to her!" Dave snarled, stopping Erin in her tracks. "This is my fault." He could make it right with one of his kids and he wasn't about to miss the opportunity.
"What did I do wrong!" Mackenzie sobbed. Her cheeks were scarlet from the cold and snot dripped down her face.
Dave caught her by the shoulders and knelt to her level, still the child stood a head taller than him. "You didn't do anything wrong. None of you did." He clarified, looking up, hoping the teenagers and their mother were paying attention. Emotions threatened to strangle him, he couldn't face watching his family leave him. "Mackenzie, listen to me-" he swallowed tightly. "I-" he blinked back his own tears, he pulled a clean handkerchief from his jacket pocket and wiped her cheeks. The pain and confusion in her eyes was almost unbearable. "You gotta listen to me, Shorty." He gently lifted her chin, staring into her eyes, ensuring she was paying attention. "This is all my fault. This is all on me," He said forcefully, he couldn't let her think she'd done anything to deserve having her home ripped out from underneath her for a second time. "I'm the one who isn't good enough for you."
Mackenzie's chin wobbled, the winter wind blew through them. Dave took her frozen hands in both of his, "I'm going to try to work this out but you gotta listen to your mom."
Mackenzie nodded, cold ripped through her. "Y-you're good enough to me!" She sobbed and threw her arms around Dave's neck.
"You're good enough for me, too Kid." He said, his eyes were wet with tears as he stood up, with Mackenzie curled around him. "Let's go inside where it's warm."
As Dave closed the sliding glass door, he heard Erin in the dining room, ripping into Paige and Paul and he wasn't about to stop her. There was no reason for them to be so harsh on Mackenzie, but his opinion didn't matter anymore.
Instead, he carried Mackenzie into the living room and laid her on the couch. Mudgie laid down on her, lending his body heat.
Dave flipped the switch on the gas fireplace and covered the kid with a blanket. "I'm sorry I couldn't take you for ice cream today," he said and tucked the blanket tightly around her feet.
"You had to work," Mackenzie said. "It's okay." She petted Mudgie's ears, she could hear the faint sounds of her mom yelling at Paige and Paul.
"I hope Mom doesn't make us leave." Mackenzie said sadly.
"Yeah, me too." Dave turned on the radio. He didn't care for Taylor Swift, but Mackenzie loved her and he would do anything to block the noise coming from the dining room. He cranked the volume up and sat down in the armchair across from Mackenzie.
"If she does…" Mackenzie said softly, her thoughts were heavy and she had to get them out. She had to ask questions, even if she didn't like the answer. "Can you still pick me up from school on Fridays?"
Dave sighed heavily, this was a new situation for him. He'd never had kids before and he certainly never had to navigate coparenting. He decided that honesty was the best policy. "I don't know, Shorty. That's up to your mom."
"I guess you're right," Mackenzie said and she yawned deeply and her eyes fluttered closed. Dave waited a beat, "Yeah...but I'd rather be wrong." She didn't hear him, gentle snoring came from the couch.
He turned down the music then got up and went to the kitchen, the quart of ice cream he'd left dripped through its shopping bag, onto the candy bar he'd bought for Erin and soaking through a box of waffle cones, dripping onto the counter. He picked up the whole bag and chucked it into the garbage can. The door to the dining room swung open, Erin emerged and Dave didn't miss that her eyes were rimmed with red. "Where's Mackenzie?"
"She's asleep on the couch," he said as Erin walked towards the living room.
"Come on Erin, don't wake the kid. If you really want to leave me, at least wait until morning." He glanced out the kitchen window, the sun slowly sank behind dark clouds, he knew Erin didn't like driving at night.
"I don't want to share airspace with you."
"Fine," he spread his arms wide, "this place is big enough that we don't have to see each other. We scared the hell out of the kids-"
"I didn't set out to traumatize them!" She hissed, keeping her voice low, "I'm a cold, calculating bitch," She spat, "That's what you've been trying to call me all day, but I would never intentionally hurt my children."
Dave turned towards the bedroom, "yell at me here!" He said, dragging her inside the room and closing the door.
"I told you I didn't want to share oxygen with you and you lock us in a room together!" She said, throwing her hands up. "You never listen to me-"
"Would you stop!" Dave barked, "For five seconds?"
"No," her chin jutted stubbornly, "you screamed at me today, in public; I don't even care that you did it in front of people. In public or otherwise, you're not allowed to speak to me that way."
"I'm sorry, I get it now." His tone softened. "You're completely right. There is no separation of church and state."
"You hit below the belt today-" She said, still standing near the door.
"We both did." He agreed. "We can't fight like that anymore."
She kept her arms crossed defensively over her chest. "Tell me something, Dave."
He knew his ship was sunk. She never called him Dave unless something was wrong between them, it was her way of letting him know, he wasn't worth the use of his full name.
"What?" He asked.
"What do you usually call me?"
He stared at her, dumbfounded. Was this a trick question? "I call you Erin-"
"And?" She motioned for him to continue, "what else?"
He thought for a second, "Mostly, I call you Sweetheart, but there's also, Tesoro, Bella, Cara...Love…" he ticked off the list with his fingers.
"Why?"
"Because I love you...Why else?"
"Uh huh…none of that sounds anywhere close to what you called me today. You called me a bitch. Dave,in my own office. In front of your coworkers. Oh no, you didn't finish the word, but that was only because Aaron stopped you."
"That reflects on me, Erin." His whole being was filled with regret. "That was my bad and they know it."
"Oh, I know they do. Both of them made sure to let me know." Erin shook her head, keeping one hand on the doorknob. "That doesn't matter. To make it worse, you called me a drunk with my kids in the room! None of that sounds like something a man who loves me would do. We're not even going to discuss the fact that I'm carrying your children." She said, becoming more irate by the minute. "I'll bet you never talked to Carolyn like that- Even after she-" Erin stopped herself, bringing James' death into their fight was a low blow, too low.
"We're not discussing anything," Dave countered, frustrated, "This is just you, reading me the laundry list of my fuck-ups." He stalked across the room, with only a foot of space between them.
"Somebody has to!" She exploded. "You came home tonight thinking you hadn't done anything wrong."
"I do love you- Erin, it was a bad day- I took it out on you, and I'm so sorry." He said, moving closer to her.
She moved away from him, "I don't care what Aaron and Agent Morgan think of me, but you know how my children feel about my drinking. I trusted you with them and you-" She stopped herself, she wanted to tell him how he'd turned his back on the trust she'd given him; but that would lead to another fight. Damn, she was tired of fighting.
Dave shook his head in remorse, "I know what I said and I'm pretty sure they were outside!"
"That's beside the point,you know everything I went through and then you threw it in my face." How could he do that? He was supposed to be her safe place, but how could she stay with him if he was going to throw all of her mistakes back in her face as soon as he had the chance?
"I know," he ran a hand through his hair and blew out a breath, "Erin I'm really sorry. I wish I could take it back." There was nothing else he could say. Still, they failed to convey the depth of his regret.
"You know," She stood up, her fists clenched at her sides. "I'd rather you hit me than talk to me the way you did today."
"I wouldn't do that, Erin." He recoiled in disgust at the thought of laying his hands on her. "I don't know what I was thinking."
"I know what you thought," she interrupted him, "and I'm sure it'll sound just as stupid the second time. You thought we magically became different people when a desk stands between us. You thought you couldn't hurt my feelings as long as we're at work. I hate to break it to you, Dave, our life together is not the United State's Constitution and you aren't a founding father."
He dropped his face in his hands, how could they have fallen so far away from happily-ever-after? "Just tell me one thing, why were you pushing to get me fired? We talked about it-" he said, grasping at straws. "You and I both know I'm not cut-out to be a stay-at-home-dad. I lost my mind when Andy said you wanted me out. How could you betray me like that?"
"What do you mean, 'Andy said?" She repeated, dumbfounded. "I want you to keep your job, David. Why the hell would I go behind your back?" She fumed, but it was clear that he didn't believe her.
"When the Director of the FBI tells you something, you tend to believe him." Dave said, he felt stupid, he should have listened to the tapes for himself.
"When your fiance tells you something, you should believe her!" Erin huffed and stomped her foot.
"How many times do I have to say how sorry I am?"
"If you actually meant it-" She said, stubbornly. She couldn't let him off the hook so easily.
"I do." He countered, reaching for her hand and she let him. She was still mad, but the only way to resolve the problem was to let him apologize. "Erin, I love you." He held her face between his hands. "Please don't leave me."
"I don't want to," she said, her blonde hair swept over her shoulders. "Our kids need you-"
"Don't say it like that."
"Like what?"
"Don't tell me that you only want to stay for the kids."
"You hurt me." She admitted, "and losing you would hurt them."
"I hurt you, today." He clarified, "Doesn't the good outweigh the bad? We've had a lot of good times too."
She avoided his gaze, chewing on her bottom lip. "You can't do this again."
Relief coursed through him, maybe they still had a chance….
"I won't sleep with you." She said, a single tear dripped down her cheek, her defenses were dangerously low, 'because," she swallowed the lump in her throat. "I'm afraid I'll be tempted to smother you with your pillow," she said.
"I'll sleep upstairs," He said eagerly, taking both of her hands in his. He couldn't let her go. If she left now, he would never get her back. He was a desperate man who would do anything to keep his family together. "I'll sleep in the garage, Erin. I'll sleep in the backyard if you want me to. As long as our kids get to sleep in their own beds and I get to see your face in the morning."
"David Rossi, I promise you, if you ever speak to me the way you did today. I don't care if it happens tomorrow or 20 years from now. I will pack my bags and leave you." She poked him in the chest for emphasis, "this won't happen again."
She stiffened as he pulled her into his arms, "if I screw up this bad again, I'll pack your bags for you." He said, against her hair.
She hugged him tightly, letting her tears fall against his shirt. "No you won't." She said, pulling back to look at him.
"Yeah, you're probably right," he agreed, "but by the time that happens, all the kids will be all grown and out of the house."
"And I'll be too tired to move out," she said against his shoulder.
"Can I help you unpack?" He offered.
"I'll give you one better," she pulled away to look him in the eyes, "you can unpack it."
"I guess I deserve that…" he relented and went to retrieve her suitcase from the kitchen.
"Did you guys kiss and make up or what?" Paige clipped, rinsing an apple at the sink.
"We did." Dave grabbed the handle of Erin's suitcase and balanced it against the wall. Paige concentrated on drying her apple with a dish towel.
"So…" Paige furrowed her brow in confusion, "Are we staying?"
Dave nodded, "If I have my way, you'll live here forever." He tried to reassure her.
"What happened today?" She asked, "I thought you guys were good."
Dave nodded, "we are good...we…" he paused, looking for the right words. "We had a failure to communicate at work and I accidentally brought it home."
Paige dropped her head…"well that sucks. Did we…" her eyes flicked towards the staircase, "Did we do something wrong?" Maybe having three extra kids was too much and Dave was looking for his way out. "We didn't mean to…"
he watched her play with the towel in her hand. She refused to meet his eyes
"No," Dave said, shaking his head. "Don't think like that, what happened today was between Mom and me."
"Are you sure?"
"Hey, Kid," Dave said gently, "You know we love you...and we're working it out. We all want to stay together. We hit a rough patch today-"
"So, what's gonna happen?"
"Well, Kid," Dave blew out a breath, "the only way out, is , that's what we're working on."
Paige sighed, her shoulders slumped in exhaustion. "This all feels like a lot."
"I know it does. It feels like a lot for me too, but this family."
"Can I go to bed?"
"Of course you can."
Paige looked at him quizzically, "can I unpack my stuff or…" She shrugged.
"Go unpack, Honey". Dave reassured her. "Nobody's going anywhere."
"I guess I'll ask Paul to take Mackenzie to bed." The teenager turned on her heel and stalked off toward the staircase, leaving the dish towel on the counter.
Dave whistled lowly, teenagers were no picnic. Yet he wouldn't trade those kids for anything in the world, he thought as he walked back to the room to begin unpacking Erin's belongings.
When Dave reentered the room, he was surprised that Erin was still awake, sitting up cross legged and apparently waiting for him. She was freshly showered and from the look on her face, she wanted to talk. Her next words confirmed it when she said, "Before you start unpacking my things, pull the chair in the corner, up next to the bed and sit, because we need to talk this out tonight David. If we don't, then it will come up again and I doubt we could survive that, we are barely hanging on by a tattered thread now."
He wanted to reach out and hold her, but every part of her body language said that his touch wouldn't be welcome.
Dave blew out a breath, "okay, fine." He knew she was right, but he really didn't want to have this conversation. He pulled up the chair and sat down in front of her. "Ask me anything you want."
"Why didn't you come to me after you met with Andy?"
"I tried." He answered honestly, his shoulders slumped with heavy burdens and shame. "But I overheard you with Hotch. I thought you were lying to him, when you said you wanted me to stay in the field. When I walked in your office.." he stopped himself. Hearing it all out loud made him feel stupid. "Erin I should have known better. I should have trusted you."
"I wish you would have." She said, "I would never go behind your back like that. How could I? We've discussed your retirement status a hundred times and we always reach the same conclusion."
"You're right, I didn't think the power dynamic at work would come between us. It scared the hell out of me when I realized I was wrong." He squeezed her hands tightly and stared into her eyes. "Erin, you have the power to end me in 300 different ways and that's terrifying. I acted on my fear today and I swear, I'll never do it again."
Erin nodded, letting his words sink in, then she realized he wasn't wrong. Her name was on all of his bank accounts, including the royalties from his books. She owned his life insurance policy and he named her the beneficiary. She held a superior position at work. Even the loyalty of his dog and the children belonged to her when push came to shove. She owned his ass because he allowed it.
"You gave me that power," she said. "I didn't ask for it."
"I know. I did that because I trust you. Okay…" He swallowed, "I let a lie come between us today and I'm not about to let it happen again." Dave vowed, "someone needs to do something about Andy… but I'm not gonna lie, I think he's got us by the short hairs on this one."
"Well, according to his secretary, our Director Robinson is out of his mind. He's canceling appointments and his schedule is chaotic. I think my employment is hanging on by a thread." Erin said and shrugged, she didn't trust Andy anymore. Not after the interrogation with the DOJ, she didn't have a choice but to handle things alone. "When he fires me for dating you, I'll report him to the Attorney General. If they wanted us prosecuted, they would have filed charges when they had me in lockup."
Dave nodded his head, "it's comforting that you came up with that plan so easily," he deadpanned.
She dropped her shoulders, as if to say, 'well, I had plenty of time to think about it, when I was being interrogated. Apparently, The Bureau is looking out for number one. I have to follow suit."
"Good point."
Silence stretched between them, Now, we need to talk about the kids." Dave said
"David," She tried to object, "We don't have to do this tonight."
"They can't be our kids when it's convenient, like when Mackenzie needs to be picked up from school, but your kids the rest of the time."
"They are my kids, David." Erin said simply. "Mark is their father-"
"I'm completely aware of that and I don't want to take anything away from Mark, but I have a relationship with all of them." Dave said, raising his eyebrow. "I'm important to them, too."
"If I had any doubts about that, Mackenzie wasn't shy about letting me know that tonight," Erin said. "I know you all have your own relationships. They love you and it broke my heart to see Mackenzie so devastated, but I can't leave my children."
Dave crossed his arms, like a brick wall in front of her. "They could have stayed with me, if you wanted to go to the hotel and get away."
"And that's fine, but if Mark found out that I left them here while you and I were arguing, he would have dragged me in front of a judge for abandonment."
"Are things really that bad between you guys?" Dave asked, surprised. As far as he knew, she hadn't talked to Mark in months.
"We're cordial, at best and I'm not willing to take the risk."
"Okay..." Dave nodded, "I get that."
"You threatened to do the same thing," Erin reminded him. "Don't pretend like you're better than Mark."
"You know I only said that because you threatened to take them away from me first when you know how much I love our babies already, sight unseen."
"You're right," she nodded, "and I can't wait to see what kind of father you're going to be."
What the hell kind of statement was that? "Haven't I proved that with the kids we already have?"
"David, you know I didn't mean it like that."
"Yes you did, Erin. I never thought I would get the chance to have a child and we have been blessed with two, there is no way, I could ever just let them be taken away, without fighting for them. And I feel the same way about the three kids upstairs, even if I am not their father."
"And they love you," Erin assured him.
"I know they do and that's the point of this discussion. I don't want to lose them either." He said, thinking about Paige. "I talked to Paige…"
"And?" Erin pressed.
"I talk a good game, but I don't know how to make it up to any of you."
"David, one thing you will learn about having kids, when you screw up this bad, there is no easy fix. Oh, you can try to talk your way out, hug your way out, heck even bribe your way out, but at the end of the day, no matter how much they may say otherwise, there is no easy fix. Once that foundation has been rocked, it takes time to seal the cracks. It can take months, sometimes even years; That is why I was so reluctant to introduce them to you when we got together."
"And I screwed that all up, when I broke your trust today-"
She nodded, "you cracked it. I don't know how to get past it. We have to keep working on reassuring them, that they are safe and loved."
"What about you?" He asked, "How can I make this better for you?" He was practically begging, "Erin, please...tell me what to do."
Her eyes brimmed with unshed tears, "I want to get over it and put today behind us; but I don't know how. I can't let my kids continue to be emotionally damaged, when I've put them through so much already."
"Stop!" Dave put his hand up, "couples fight, Erin. They know that."
"But they shouldn't have to," she argued. "As much as I love you David, we can't have a repeat of what happened today."
Dave sighed, dropping his head in his hands, "I never meant to hurt any of you."
"I know that too," she said, gripping his shoulders to look him in the eye. "Go to bed, we can talk tomorrow."
He leaned forward to look at her, "I guess I can't stay?" He already knew the answer, he would be lucky if she allowed him to touch her again.
"Not tonight," she pecked him on the lips.
"Can I unpack your stuff?" He wanted to drag out his time with her, if she fell asleep he could slide in beside her and everything would go back to normal.
"Tomorrow." She said, with finality. She knew his tricks, and he needed to learn that he couldn't slide into her bed again so easily.
He went over to the side of the bed and pulled the blankets down. "Will you let me tuck you in?"
She crawled in the bed, under the blankets. "Goodnight." He tucked the quilt around her and brushed his lips against her forehead.
"I just want you to know," he paused, resting his hand on the door frame. "I'm only leaving because you asked me to." Every molecule in his body wanted to crawl in bed beside her.
"Thank you..For listening to me." Erin whispered. "See you tomorrow." The door closed behind him and she waited for his footsteps to fade.
She sighed, deeply. She'd forgotten how emotionally draining fighting with David could be. He'd talked about their power dynamics but he failed to notice how much control he had over her. Her very foundation was built on him. She lived in his house, her children depended on him and he tried to throw that away. Not long ago, they talked about getting married. He baked wedding cakes in the kitchen, but where did they stand now? She couldn't bear the thought of canceling their wedding before they had a chance to plan it. She couldn't throw away everything they'd built, based on one day. But he might...and the possibility hurt. She let the tears fall then, hot and unbridled down her cheeks, soaking the pillowcase. There's a perverse sense of irony when you want to be comforted, by the person who hurt you.
She heard a door close and the beeping of the alarm keypad. Dave was probably letting Mudgie out. She threw the pillow on the floor and tried to get comfortable when she heard a soft knock at the bedroom door.
"What?" She asked, annoyed at being interrupted.
The door cracked open slightly. Mudgie jumped on the foot of the bed and laid down at her feet. Mackenzie stepped lightly across the room. "Mom?" Mackenzie whispered, her voice was hoarse. "Can we sleep in here?" Mackenzie asked, picking up the pillow from the floor.
Erin swiped her hand across her face and moved over. "Come on," she said, pulling back the blankets. Normally, Mackenzie slept in her own bed but after the day they'd had, Erin didn't have the heart to turn her away.
Mackenzie crawled in bed and pulled the blankets up to her chin. Erin's arm settled around her, easily. Mackenzie was asleep within seconds and Erin's eyes drifted closed, she almost didn't hear the hum of the garage door opening.
Dave drove, he didn't know where he was going, but the quiet night called to him. He needed to clear his head and figure out his next steps. His hands stayed clenched around the steering wheel as he brought the Audi down the street. How could everything look so normal when he'd blown up his life? The stars still twinkled in the night sky, mocking him. The streetlights illuminated his neighborhood. He saw his neighbors, walking their dogs or jogging on the sidewalk, like it was a regular Friday night. Finally, he came to the end of the subdivision and pulled into the gas station. The same store where Paige had run out of gas the day Erin was taken for questioning.
He parked the car and went inside the store. He didn't need anything, but he didn't want to be home where his mistakes hung in the air and the guilt threatened to choke him.
He grabbed a gallon of milk, they always needed milk. Even when Erin couldn't eat from the morning sickness, milk kept her going. He stalked through the aisles, he didn't know what he was looking for. A jumbo bag of Twizzlers called to him, a bag of pretzels, some mixed nuts and an assortment of candy bars. It was safe to say, David Rossi was stress eating.
Back in the car, he peeled the wrapper off a Payday bar and chowed down.
Sleep didn't last long for Erin. Mackenzie threw her limbs out, taking up most of the bed. "Oh come on, Kids…" Erin huffed, aggravated. Between the two in her belly that turned dancing on her bladder into an olympic sport and the one in her bed, she would never get to sleep. She crawled out of bed, restless and annoyed, she went to the bathroom then stomped into the kitchen.
"I thought you were asleep," Dave said, he was in the living room, flipping through the TV channels with a bag of pretzels in his lap.
"I was," Erin all but growled.
"And?" Dave pressed, he was restless, needling Erin put them one step closer to normal.
She opened the refrigerator, looking for milk. "It's 80 degrees in here," she said, closing the fridge while holding the milk."I'm hot, I'm cranky and my back hurts." She unscrewed the cap and inspected the jug, the date on the side was two days away but she wasn't taking any chances. "I should have made Paul haul that suitcase around." She said, hoping David didn't hear.
When he didn't respond, she held the milk jug away from her. "David, will you come smell this?"
"Can I sleep in your bed?" He asked, getting off the couch and coming towards her.
"That's not a fair trade."
"Just playing the cards I have," he said.
"Do I have to remind you that currently, I'm not sleeping in my bed." She wasn't about to tell him that she was overrun from a king sized bed by a ten year old.
He took the jug from her hand and sniffed, "no good." He said, wrinkling his nose.
"Great…"Erin moved away from the sink with her hand pressed over her mouth. She hated the smell of bad milk.
"I heard the garage open...Where did you go."
"Gas station."
"Why?"
He shrugged, "stuff. Cool night air, I don't know." He poured the sour milk down the garbage disposal, rinsed the jug and threw it in the trash. Without a word, he grabbed his coat off the hook and went to the garage.
"What are you doing?" She asked, standing in the doorway of the garage. She could see his breath, while he dug around in the spare refrigerator.
"Are you checking out my butt?" He quipped, standing up. A box of cereal and a fresh gallon of milk in his hand.
"You wish." She crossed her arms, chasing away the goosebumps, but the cool air in the garage felt so good. He thought he saw a hint of a smile across her face.
"Here," he handed her the cereal and she followed him inside the house.
"Why do you keep cereal in the refrigerator."
He shot her an incredulous glare and looked around the garage, "would you rather share your frosted flakes with the ants?"
"Fair point, although we both know an ant hasn't set foot in here since the contractors broke ground."
"Not the point," he said, shaking his head.
"Do you want some?" She asked, getting two bowls from the cabinet.
He shrugged, "I could eat. The pretzels aren't doing it for me."
She poured their cereal and handed him a spoon, sliding his bowl across the counter.
She chewed, slowly and mechanically, waiting for him to speak.
"Are we good?" He asked, scooping a spoonful of flakes into his mouth.
She nodded and gave him a glimmer of a smile, "yeah," she touched his hand. "We're good. Thanks for buying milk."
"Thanks for not leaving."
They finished their cereal in amicable silence.
"Can I tuck you back in?"
"Only if there's air conditioning and a heating pad involved."
"There's a fan in the bedroom closet." He flipped on the electric kettle, to fill the hot water bottle. "Does your back hurt that bad?"
"That'll work," she said, rinsing her bowl but leaving it in the sink. "My back always hurts."
He peeked into the bedroom, Mackenzie took up most of the bed. "Do you want me to move her?" Dave asked, jabbing his thumb in the direction of the open door.
"Please!" Erin implored.
Dave laughed, shaking his head, "I never thought I would see the day when Erin Strauss let a ten year old kick her out of bed." He said, and flipped on the bedside lamp.
"Kick, being the operative word," she said and caressed her mid-section."Any other day, I would have made her sleep in her own bed, but…" Erin shrugged, "she's still young."
"She's your baby," he corrected, easily transferring Mackenzie to the sofa in the corner and covered her with a blanket at the end of the couch. Then he went back into the kitchen and filled the hot water bottle.
"Not for much longer." She patted her bump affectionately. Standing in the doorway of the bedroom, watching him. "Where did we land on Amelia?"
He shrugged and flipped the kettle off. It felt like a lifetime ago since they'd had that conversation. "Amelia Rossi...hmm…"He let the name roll off his tongue, "I like it."
Erin led them back in the bedroom. "Thanks for taking care of them tonight…" she said, climbing into bed. You're good with Mackenzie...buying the milk without being asked." He wrapped the hot water bottle in a towel and laid in across her back.
"Erin, don't you know, I'd take care of you and our kids no matter what...colds.." He ticked off the list, "the flu..stubbed toes." He shrugged. "For better or worse."
"For better or worse," she echoed. Letting their words linger heavily in the air. "Now go to bed," Erin instructed, waving him off.
He went to the closet and pulled out the fan, he plugged it in and set it as high as it would go.
He walked over to the door, "goodnight," he said, with his hand against the frame.
"Goodnight."
"Wait!"
He paused at the door, "Yes?"
"How's your foot?" She asked.
"Eh, I've had worse," he replied with a shrug.
"Truly, I didn't mean to-"
"I know. Goodnight, Erin."
"Goodnight." She echoed.
He walked out the door, closing it behind him and then thought better of it.
He turned on his heel and knocked lightly on the door. "3...2...1.." he said, staring at his watch. How would they get over this hurdle, if they didn't allow themselves to go back to normal?
"I thought I sent you upstairs." Erin whispered, careful not to wake Mackenzie.
"It's 12:01." Dave said, still standing at the door, waiting for her response. If she told him to leave, he would go upstairs and sleep alone but it didn't seem right. "You said I could come back, 'tomorrow.' It's tomorrow."
"Shh! We're trying to sleep," Erin countered.
It's cold in here," Dave said, tying his robe for emphasis.
"Put on a sweater," She said, pushing the blankets to the floor.
"Are you really going to turn me away?" He asked. Pulling a blanket from the pile in the floor.
You're insufferable." Erin said, tossing a pillow at him.
"But you still love me." He teased, catching the pillow. "Can I come to bed?"
"No. I don't want your cold feet on me." Erin said, stubbornly,"but you can sleep on the floor. Your twins need the room," Erin stretched out in the middle of the bed to make her point.
Dave laid on the floor next to her, he would take what he could get. At least they were in the same room. He stuffed the pillow under his head and covered up. He tried to ignore the way his back hurt, he huffed and threw the blanket towards his feet. At least they were in the same room.
"Can't believe you would do this to me," he grumbled. "Mackenzie's still young, she would be fine on the floor."
"Quit your bitching, if you don't like it, you can go upstairs. There's a california king with your name on it."
"Suddenly, this old italian rug feels very comfortable for this old italian." Dave said, sitting up slightly, punching his pillow until it fit comfortably under his head and rolling unto his side. He leaned up on one elbow and said "Erin?"
"What?" She groaned, lifting her head up just enough to see him, before cracking one eye open.
"Just wanted to say, I love you," Rossi said as he blew her a kiss.
"You said that already David. Now be quiet and go to sleep or get out!" Erin said, lying back and closing her eyes. She was still angry with him for all the pain he'd caused their family today. Yet as she lay there, she remembered it wasn't that long ago, she'd almost lost him forever when he had his heart attack. Heaven forbid anything should happen to him but if it did, she didn't want to live the rest of her life knowing he died thinking she didn't love him back. "Ti amo anch'io", she whispered into the darkness, just loud enough for him to hear her. The words she spoke were true, she loved him, too.
"Did you learn that for me?" He asked. True, the pronunciation wasn't perfect, but the sentiment warmed his heart.
She could hear the smile in his voice, "I took a language class in college."
"Okay," he whispered, "goodnight…" he said, taking her hand.
"You said that already," she reminded him. The alarm on her phone blinked and she hurried to turn it off. Usually, Dave slept right through it but she didn't want the flash to wake Mackenzie.
"What was that?" Dave asked.
She tapped her screen to kill the alarm then waited a beat to put the phone down.
"What was that?" He tried again.
"Come to bed, David." Erin ordered quickly.
"What?" He asked, feeling stupid.
"Come to bed, I have to tell you something, and it would ruin the moment if I told you while you were laying on the floor" she urged him and moved towards the middle of the bed so he could crawl in beside her. She patted the mattress beside her. "David come here!"
He grabbed his pillow and threw it on the bed before scrambling to his feet. He stood over her, "what is it?" He asked quickly, before sitting down on the edge of the bed beside her.
"We did it," She said quietly.
He shook his head, utterly bewildered. "Erin I'm not following you. What could we have accomplished at 2am from the bedroom?"
She arched one haughty eyebrow in his direction. "We made it," she tried again. "We're 25 weeks."
Slowly, her words dawned on him, "Oh...Of course we did it." He leaned in close and kissed her, holding her chin. "Of course we did." He repeated, letting his hand cover the swell of her abdomen. "I never had a single doubt." He said, between kisses. His tongue flicked in and out of her mouth, savoring her. When they both needed air, he pulled away.
"That ego will get us both in trouble," Erin teased him.
"Does this mean we're moving up the wedding?"
"What did I just say about your ego?" She asked, playfully pushing him away.
"Move over," he ordered. He put one hand underneath her hip and helped her across the bed.
"You're such a bully," Erin said and stuck her tongue out.
"Yeah, yeah." He pulled the quilt and off the floor and laid down beside her. A comfortable silence settled around them, curled beside each other in the dark.
"I think we should get married tomorrow," she said.
Dave flipped on the bedside lamp and balanced himself on his elbow, to look her in the eye. "Are you sure?"
She nodded, "Yeah. Now, turn off the light," she winced, shielding her eyes.
"I thought we wanted something big-"
"You wanted something big. We can have the reception later...for now, we can have the ceremony in the living room." She didn't want the twins to be without their father and David deserved to have legal authority over them as soon as they were born. If they came early and Erin was out of commission, they needed to have a legal parent who could speak for them. It didn't matter if she was ready to get married or not, she would get there. Her children deserved stability.
Dave lay flat on his back and exhaled, after everything he put his family through that day, how could she want to marry him? "Are you sure?"
She nodded, "I wouldn't have mentioned it if I wasn't."
David Rossi wasn't a man to look a gift horse in the mouth. "Let's do it." Dave said eagerly, "I can book a hall in the morning."
"You really don't listen to me," Erin said, rolling her eyes heavenward. "I want to get married in the living room, in my pajamas."
"Who do you think we are?" Dave asked, furrowing his brow. "The Clintons?"
"You better hope not," Erin teased.
Dave tiptoed out of the bedroom and wandered into the kitchen. He had every intention of getting married today, but he had to take care of something first. He started a pot of coffee and sat down at the breakfast table, with a notebook and pen in hand. He needed to mend fences with the kids, if their family was going to make it. The only way he could see to accomplish that, was through a letter. From his seat near the window, he watched the morning sun slowly brighten the sky. That spot is where he poured his heart out. Pen and paper had always been his preferred medium, today those tools would change his life.
When he was finished, he put the three letters in envelopes and took them upstairs. With a little bit of luck, the kids would find their letter, taped to their bedroom doors.
Then, he called Aaron, his best friend. After all, every wedding needs a best man.