"I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you are good with grammar you'll get it."
—Unknown
"Who gives this woman away?" The officiant asked, reverently.
"We do." Paige, Paul and Mackenzie said in unison, Mudgie barked once to prove the point. Giggles filtered through the audience and the officiant lowered his hand, when the crowd settled he said, "We are gathered here to witness and honor the commitment of David Rossi and Erin Strauss. The couple has opted to write their own vows."
Dave drew in a breath, suddenly, his hands trembled. Sweat beaded down the back of his neck and down his jacket and he was acutely aware of the stem of his boutonniere poking his chest. "Wait," He turned to the officiant and whispered in his ear.
The officiant turned to the audience, "There's a brief change in the program."
Dave turned to Hotch, "Do you have them?"
Hotch pulled three velvet boxes from his pocket and handed them to Dave. Dave took a knee and flipped open a box, setting the other two beside him. He turned to the kids and said, "I met your mom a million years ago and somehow, life got away from us. By the time we settled down long enough to fall in love, you guys were already teenagers. I missed your childhood, but I don't want to miss anymore. I can't be your dad," Dave said, looking into their faces, "he's got that covered. I can be your friend, I can take care of you and keep you safe. I can be there for the rest of your lives, loving you. Showing you how to love and be loved by your future partners. Each of you have asked me if having three kids was too much for me." He paused again, to swallow against the lump in his throat. "You broke my heart every time you asked. In a thousand lifetimes, in a thousand universes, I would find you. I would choose you. I would choose our family every time. Will you take me?"
Mackenzie openly cried, Dave took her hand. "It's okay, Shorty."
She nodded, "I can't take you," she said.
Paige nodded, "you're already ours."
"She's right," Paul said. "I guess you can stay." He said, trying to bring some humor to the situation.
Dave barked a laugh, "thank you, Son."
He took his time, fastening bracelets to the girl's wrists. Then stood up and fastened a pin to Paul's lapel. "I love you all," he said. Then, took Erin's hands in his, to keep from pulling at his tie.
"Now that's settled…"Erin said, beaming at him.
"Erin…" Dave took a breath, staring into her eyes, "Thank you for believing in me...I love you the way I love the air in my lungs. Without you and our family, I wouldn't be who I am. I can't wait for this next chapter of our adventure. I can't promise you the moon or the stars, but I can promise that you'll never have to cook a day in your life or carry anything heavier than a gallon of milk, for the rest of our lives. You don't have to be alone anymore. I'll be there, sleeping on the side of the bed that's closest to the Boogie Man. Through sickness, stubbed toes..midnight snacks..the school pickup line. I'm all in, Baby. Heart and soul."
"David…" she squeezed his hands tightly, "You once told me that it didn't matter how we got here, but that we did."
"I meant it." He said lowly, so only she could hear.
"And you were 're always pushing me to see the bigger picture, I promise you that our lives together won't be perfect. There are going to be days when everything is going wrong, but I know now," Her voice choked, tears dripped down her cheeks. "I know we can get through it. I know that I can make it alone, but more importantly, you taught me that I don't have to. Then, I realized that I don't want to. You changed our lives and made us a complete family. I trust you with my life and the lives of my children, our children. I may not show it often, but unlike you, I listen, when you say something," She said, with a laugh.
Laughter rolled through the garden, the bridal party tried and failed to hold back their giggles and the audience followed suit.
Dave turned to the officiant, "Is it too late to add something to my vows?"
"Of course not," the officiant said, wiping his smirk with the back of his hand.
Dave turned to Erin, "Tesoro, I promise that I will always actively listen to you."
Erin giggled, "I'm going to hold you to it."
Mudgie barked deeply, in agreement with Erin.
"Traitor." Dave said, smiling.
"Someone needs to keep him in line-" came from the wedding party.
The sound of laughter filled the air again.
"If that's all-" the officiant said, he tried and failed to get the wedding back on track.
Erin and Dave nodded, struggling to hold back their giggles.
Mackenzie pulled at her mother's sleeve to get her attention.
"What is it?" Erin leaned down to let Mackenzie whisper in her ear.
Erin grinned and stood up, "Say that out loud."
"Can we keep them?" Mackenzie asked again, glancing between Dave and Mudgie.
"It'll be permanent in about 5 seconds," Erin promised.
"You may now kiss the bride," the officiant instructed.
Mudgie barked and the audience exploded in applause as Dave took Erin in his arms and kissed her deeply, her arms wrapped around his neck. He dipped her back and kissed her again. Completely ignoring the hollering and wolf whistles coming from the audience.
"Introducing, Mr. and Mrs. Rossi!" The officiant announced above the applause.
Finally, the happy couple broke apart. Mackenzie took her shot, she walked up to Dave and tugged on the hem of his jacket.
"What is it, Sweetheart?" Dave asked, holding Erin steady as he sat her back on her feet. He knelt down to Mackenzie's level.
"Does this mean we get to stay?" Mackenzie asked softly.
Dave beamed, "Forever," he promised her.
Mackenzie threw her arms around him in glee, "we're a family now!"
It was then that the sky opened up, drenching the garden in warm rain.
He hugged her back, "Yes, we are."
"I knew it!" Erin said, triumphantly, holding her arms over her head, to protect her hair. "I knew it was going to rain!"
"It's good luck!" Dave promised.
"How can you tell?" Erin wiped her face with the back of her hand, her makeup dripping towards her chin.
"I've been married 3 times before," Dave took off his tuxedo jacket and threw it over Erin's head. He glanced around, watching the attendees rush inside the mansion. "It was dry as a bone, all three times."
"It doesn't count if you get married in the desert." Erin countered, grabbing his hand. His white button down was soaked to the skin.
"Sure it does!" He said, as they hurried across the lawn, hand in hand. "But who cares about that! Let's get out of here." He grabbed Mackenzie's hand while she held Mudgie's leash. Paul and Paige were already halfway inside.
"Are you guys coming or what?" Paul grouched, holding the door open.
The guests were seated at round tables draped with blue and burgundy tablecloths. Various shades of towels adorned the backs of the chairs. LED candles and fresh flowers made up the centerpieces. A full band and a DJ set up at opposite sides of the ballroom, taking turns fielding requests. Waiters from Max's restaurant, floated around the room, handing out mocktails and appetizers. The booze flowed freely from the bar. Keeping the alcohol behind the bar, limited the chances of someone accidently being served alcohol when they didn't want it. From the looks of it, everyone was having a nice time. Hotch seized the opportunity to make a toast, he had something he needed to say. He took the microphone from the stage, with a champagne flute in hand.
He looked around the immaculate ballroom, his eyes landed on his best friend, Dave and his new bride. They were so happy compared to yesterday afternoon, they had finally come full circle.
"As I stand here," Aaron started, "I can't help thinking about how right this is. Dave and Erin have dedicated their lives to public service and I'm glad to see them finally giving their lives to each other. Dave, as your unit chief, I say, you did good work, today." Hotch held his glass high, "To David, Erin and your new family, you deserve all the happiness in the world." Applause filled the room and Hotch put the microphone back on the stand.
James Taylor's 'How Sweet it Is' played softly in the ballroom, Dave covered Erin's hand and they held the knife together. "I've always been bad at this," Dave admitted.
"That's alright, I asked Max's team to cut it. We can't butcher a pre cut cake." Erin said, so only her husband could hear. "All we have to do is smile and put it on a plate."
"You're incredible!" He said, kissing her cheek. They tried to ignore the camera flashing in front of them, trying to capture the moment.
"Don't stiffen up," Dave said, rubbing the back of her neck.
"I'm not," Erin lied. "The last time I did this, I wore the cake."
"Yeah," he dragged out the word, "Carolyn pulled that crap on me. I was picking buttercream out of my hair for hours." He wrinkled his nose, "I thought it would be funny, it's not," he groused at the memory.
They took the spatula in their hands and together, they lifted the first slice onto a plate. "Don't worry, I won't ruin your dress."
"And I won't get frosting in your hair."
Cameras flashed as the couple picked up their forks. Drunken catcalls came from the audience, "smash it! Come on, Rossi, smash it in her face!"
Dave speared a bite of cake on the fork and brought it carefully to her mouth. Erin angled her fork towards him and together, they ate the cake.
"So…" Dave said, watching couples dance around them on the floor, he and Erin managed an awkward, exhausted sway on the floor."How are we doing?"
Erin nodded against his shoulder, "I can't complain," she said fidgeting with his collar. "Everything was perfect!"
"And to think you wanted to get married in the living room."
"Mmm..not my best idea," she admitted, "think of the mess if we brought this many people home."
"Eh, I'd call a guy," He said easily. "I don't know about you, but I could have done without the rain."
"Says the guy with the dry shirt." Erin teased, holding tighter to him to absorb his body heat.
"Is it wrong that I think this party is incredible, even though I picked it out?" She asked.
He pulled her closer, "I picked you out and I know you're incredible." He said against her hair.
She opened her eyes to watch the party happening around her. She noticed Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia dancing closely, in a dark corner of the ballroom. 'Well, it's about time…" She kept the thought to herself and moved on. Matt and Kristy Simmons lingered by the bar, they'd gotten a babysitter and it was clear they were enjoying their time together. Even Aaron found someone to spend time with, Henry's nanny, Claudia was snuggled up to him at a table with a bottle of champagne sitting between them.
Dave kept his head on a swivel, with Erin in his arms. The ceremony had gone off without a hitch, but that didn't mean much. He watched Paul and Mackenzie at a table with Jessica, Jack and Henry. Paul was a solid big brother, somehow, he'd gotten his hands on a deck of cards and was using them to amuse the younger kids. Now, where was Paige? Dave scanned the ballroom, J.J. and Will curled in each other's arms. They swayed to the music with no space between them. 'Bless 'em,' Dave thought to himself, they were still hopelessly in love. He shifted through the crowd of acquaintances, who were waiting to be entertained.
"Have you seen Paige?" Erin asked quietly.
"Way ahead of you, Sweetheart," Dave said anxiously against the column of her throat.
Bingo! Dave zeroed in on his step-daughter, in the corner of the ballroom and she wasn't alone. The sudden flash from the photographer's camera caught his attention. He watched Paige's head fall back as she laughed, with her hand swatting playfully at the arm of a gentleman. Dave followed the trail up the man's arm, his palms were flat against the wall, with Paige standing in front of him. Dave took a second glance towards his step-daughter. She hadn't swatted him, playfully. She was trapped in between the man and the wall, she was trying to get away. 'Oh Hell no!'
Erin felt Dave stiffen against her, "what's wrong?"
He shook his head, "Nothing..I'll be right back." He kissed his bride on the cheek.
"May I cut in?" Hotch asked, approaching the newlyweds.
"Perfect timing!" Dave said, smoothly handing Erin over. Then he stalked across the ballroom floor, as a man on a mission. He didn't notice the entire BAU converging, from different parts of the ballroom, on Andy and Paige.
"Yeah," Erin shook her head. "It doesn't work like that." She said, turning away from Hotch. "Get the hell away from my kid!" Erin yelled, eating the distance between herself and Paige. She saw Andy's hands resting on the wall in front of him, with Paige backed against the wall.
Without warning, the music stopped, even the band was acutely aware of the problem happening in the back of the ballroom.
"Look, Man, get away from her!" Reid said, putting himself between Andy and Paige.
"Go find your mom, okay?" Reid said.
"You're being crazy! He's just being nice!"
"No, he's not." Reid said, "he's drunk and this is not a good place for you to be, go find your mom."
"What's going on here?" Will asked, he and J.J. were closest to the back of the room, where Paige and Andy stood.
"He was just being nice to me-" Paige jumped to Andy's defense, there was no reason for all the commotion. "It's okay," Paige scanned the crowd of BAU team members surrounding her, "we were just talking." Paige could tell, Will wasn't buying it.
"What could you," J.J. shot an accusatory glare towards Director Robinson, "need to say to a seventeen year old girl, that you couldn't say when she wasn't backed against a wall?"
"It wasn't like that-" Andy said, "I uhh..I stumbled and caught myself on the wall."
"We were just talking-" Paige insisted, reaching for her mom.
"I'm a police officer," Will pulled his badge from his jacket pocket and passed it to Paige. "What did he say to you?"
Paige looked from Will's police shield, to Erin and back again.
"He didn't touch me, it's okay."
Erin came to her daughter's side, "it's not okay." Erin shot daggers towards Andy Robinson, if looks could kill the director of the FBI would have been reduced to a pile of ash on the marble floor.
"What did he say to you?" Will tried again.
Paige swallowed, glancing from Andy to her mom and back again.
"Did he touch you?" Erin asked, she turned so Paige was standing in front of her, looking for any evidence that Andy had put his hands on her daughter.
"No! Jesus, MOM! I told you we were just talking."
"There's nothing the director of the FBI would need to say to a 17 year old girl, alone in a dark room." Erin spat, with fury in her eyes.
"Oh my god!" Paige blanched, all the color fell away from her face, "that guy's your boss? He didn't...Mom-I swear, I didn't know."
Paige looked back at Will, handing him his shield. "He called me pretty and then, I got stuck against the wall."
"He pushed her against the wall," Reid accused. "I saw it and got between them."
Erin nodded, her jaw clenched in blind fury, she wanted to take her shot at Andy's face. She approached him slowly and methodically, she could smell the liquor emanating off his clothes. Only a drunk man would be stupid enough to look sideways at one of her children. Her hand contracted into a fist at her side.
"Mom, don't!" Paige screamed.
"Erin!" Hotch said, grabbing her by the shoulders, "walk away." He hissed in her ear.
Hotch's words didn't mean anything. Andy had tried to destroy her family, he pitted David against her, had her investigated by the DOJ and now he went after her daughter. "What are you going to do?" Andy taunted, "Are you going to show your kids that violence is the answer?"
"Erin! Stop!" She heard David's voice, but it didn't matter. "He's not worth your time!"
Strong arms tightened around her, holding her back. "He's not worth it, Strauss. Back up and let us handle this," Derek said.
"He targeted my kid," Erin hissed. Clawing at Derek's forearms, "Agent Morgan, let go of me!"
"I know he did, Strauss, Will's a cop and we're in D.C. Don't make Will arrest you on your wedding day," Derek threatened. Pinning her arms at her side
"She is pretty." Andy taunted, towards Derek's back, "like her mom."
"Let go of me!" Erin snarled, she tried and failed to pull her arms out of his grip.
"That's not about to happen." Derek said, steering them away from the scene. The sound of sirens could be heard in the distance.
She's a minor, Andy!" Erin screamed, still wrestling against Derek's hold on her arms. "I'll have your badge, Andy!"
"The more you move the harder I have to hold you, stop making me hurt you!" Derek said, exasperated.
"He put my kid in a dark corner of a room, where he thought no one could see him and you think I care about a couple of bruises." Erin hissed, shoving Derek away.
"I care," Derek countered. "The last thing I wanted to do is manhandle a pregnant woman on her wedding day." He said, releasing her.
"What was I supposed to do?" Erin heard her voice go shrill, people were starting to stare. "After everything he did, you should have let me punch him!"
"We've had enough problems keeping the twins inside without you going full Rambo on someone! Will took care of Andy. You didn't have to get involved." Dave said, coming to her side.
"It was the principal of the situation," Erin argued, I couldn't sit by and let Paige think I wouldn't defend her."
An intense hush fell over the party, whispers floated through the ballroom. A few people stood up and left. Finally, the DJ started playing again. Trying to bring some normalcy back to the party.
"Dave's right, Mom." Paige said, sitting down next to him. "I shouldn't have been alone with that guy."
"Why were you alone with him?" Dave asked, more out of curiosity than anything.
Paige shrugged, "He was sitting alone," hearing it out loud made her feel stupid and naive. "I'm really sorry to mess up your party."
"You were being kind," Erin said, "Andy's the one who messed up and I'm not going to let him get away with it."
"Mom-"
J.J. and Will came up to the table, "Are you guys okay?" J.J. asked.
Paige nodded, "he didn't hurt me."
"Only because he didn't get the chance," Will growled. "Did he not think we were watching him?" Will pulled up a chair for J.J. and took a seat next to her.
"Will," J.J. said sharply.
"Robinson always thought he was invincible," Dave said. "He'd have to, to corner a teenager in a room full of federal agents."
"Rossi-" J.J. turned to Dave and flashed him a look that said, 'are you serious?'
Penelope sidled up to the group, interrupting the men. "Derek and I are taking Jack and Henry for ice cream, we were wondering if your kids could come with us?" Penelope asked, looking between J.J. and Erin.
"Penelope," Will drawled, "you could take Henry to a bar at midnight on New Year's Eve and he'd be safe."
Erin turned to Paige, "do you want to go?"
Paige looked at her phone, "Paul says he and Mackenzie want to go…I guess I'll go too." Truthfully, Paige would have done anything to disappear for a while.
Erin nodded and turned to Penelope, "make sure she stays with you."
"There's safety in numbers," Penelope confirmed and turned to Rossi. "You guys can get a headstart on the honeymoon."
"Home sweet home," David said, opening the door to the penthouse suite. They had the whole floor to themselves and he was looking forward to exploring every inch of it with his new bride.
"Don't do it," Erin warned, catching his stare. She could feel him undressing her with his eyes.
"Do what?" He asked, innocently.
"The threshold…it's bad for your heart."
"Eggs are bad for cholesterol every other year, but you still had an omelet for breakfast." He said, leaning towards her. "My cholesterol is fine," she said, pecking him on the lips.
He kissed her deeply, his lips captured hers in a rough embrace.
"So is my heart," he growled, lifting her into his arms. He crossed the threshold and laid her on the bed. "Give me a kiss, Mrs. Rossi." He said, laying on the bed beside her.
"Well," Erin turned away from him, pretending to think it over. "I guess I could...I am on my honeymoon."
"Uh huh.." He said, letting his hands roam over her body. His head rested against her. "I'm cold and wet and I need your body heat." He said, seductively.
"Well...if you can peel this dress off of me, you can have all the heat you need."
He got up and went around to her side of the bed, "at least we're almost dry." He said, resting his palm against her back.
"Speak for yourself," Erin grouched, "you changed your shirt before the reception started."
"Maybe it's you that needs the body heat." He said, slowly lowering the zipper on the back of her dress. He brushed his lips against her bare shoulder, his goatee tickled her skin. "I'm happy to warm you up. Chalk it up to one of my more pleasurable husbandly duties." He pushed the dress down, exposing her upper body.
"David Rossi," she said coyly, "are you trying to seduce me?"
He planted a kiss between her shoulders and said, "I didn't think I had to try."
"We need to lock the door." Erin reminded him, kicking off her flats.
"I'm on it!" Dave crossed the room, slid the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door, threw back the lock and went back to Erin. When he turned around he almost swallowed his tongue. His bride had let the dress fall to the floor and was standing before him in a barely there lace bodysuit. It was sheer black lace, crotchless and the sides were cut out. As he took his time viewing the vision of sexiness in front of him, he couldn't help but notice how hard her nipples were through the cutouts. While he looked on, she stepped out of the dress completely and then turned around and bent down to pick the dress up and he caught an impressive view of her butt through the cutouts in the back. The woman really was trying to collect on his life insurance, if seeing her in this lovely confection didn't stop his ticker, than nothing would. She climbed onto the bed, looking back over her shoulder at him as she went. The invitation to join her on the bed was clear. Dave sauntered over. "Now, where were we?" He asked, kissing her neck.
"I specifically remember something about body heat." She said, getting off the bed because he was way overdressed and she had been waiting all day to divest him of his attire. Her hands started at the buttons of his dress shirt and she ran her tongue up and down the shell of his ear, nipping the lobe as she removed the shirt. His undershirt was the next to go. For once, Erin wasn't worried about where it landed. Now that her prize was revealed, she ran her hands up and down his chest, before capturing his lips in a searing kiss.
"Oh..yeah..I remember now." Dave said and Erin unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned and took off his pants. Erin stepped back and admired her handiwork and David's body. She began to kiss his chest again, while scoring it with her fingernails. She began to sing the lyrics to one of her favorite songs: "Is your figure less than Greek?". Erin began to kiss and suck on his neck. "Is your mouth a little weak?" She kissed and nipped across his jawline until she joined her lips with his." When you open it to speak" Her tongue slipped into his willing mouth. "Are you smiling ?" On that note she began to kiss down his body, darting her tongue in and out of his navel as she passed on her way to the waistband of his boxers. As her lips moved further down, she slid his boxers off as she special care to blow lightly as she followed the line of hair down to his groin. Dave was enjoying her teasing and stepped out of his boxers before complying with her request to move to the bed and sit down. Erin knowing her equilibrium had shifted knew that she would need him sitting down to brace herself on for the activity she had in mind. Before she followed him to the bed, she reached into the drawer of the bedside table and removed the items she had placed there before the ceremony. Their honeymoon might only be a couple of days but David Rossi was in for the night of his life.
Erin rose up David's body as he fell back on the bed, completely wrung out.
"Woman, where did you learn to do that and why am I just finding out about it?" He asked, when he could talk again.
The newly minted Mrs. Rossi just shrugged as she ran her tongue over her lips and said, "I saw it in a movie."
"When did we get the Adult Channels?" He teased, smiling at her, showed off his crows-feet..
"It wasn't a porno, Jerk," she told him. Punching him lightly in the shoulder.
Dave swallowed and quipped, "After that award winning performance, I don't know if I should cancel our cable subscription or buy the cable company." He sat up and climbed under the blankets. "Come here."
She joined him under the covers, snuggling against him, as she laid her head against his muscular chest. He planned to give as good as he got, but after the way she just loved him down, he needed a minute or two to recover.
"David?"
"Hmm.."He asked, against her hair.
"This is better than The Hilton." He didn't know it, yet, but he was in charge of planning every party for the rest of their lives.
"I was told there were heated floors…and a jacuzzi tub."
"If I didn't know before, I know my husband loves me."
"Oh Love, you ain't seen nothing yet. Give me another minute to recharge my batteries and I plan to show you over and over again, in triplicate, just how much your husband adores you."
"We can wait…" She said, savoring the way his heart beat against her ear. "We have a whole weekend for that." She said, feeling his breathing deepen. His arm tightened around her, she flicked her eyes upward. His mouth hung open, strong snoring filled the room.
She sighed and rolled over on her side, the diamonds on her left hand glittered in the low light of the lamps. She was Mrs. Rossi, it was official now. No backing out, they were married, forever. Half of everything he owned now belonged to her...the small, greedy part of her was grateful that he didn't make her sign a prenup. She sat up resting on her arm and kissed his cheek. He didn't even flinch at her touch. "Keep on sleeping…" she said and snuggled beside him. His arm tightened around her waist and she fell asleep beside him.
"What are you doing?" Dave asked, he was crouched down, rifling through the mini-fridge. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"I think the better question is, what are you doing?" Erin asked. Pulling on the fluffy white bathrobe that came with the suite. "You're supposed to be asleep." She said, throwing her legs over the side of the bed.
"I'm making mimosas," he said pointedly, "what are you doing?"
"Right now, I'm checking out my husband's butt." She teased as he rocked back on his heels and stood up, straightening his boxers.
"Oh yeah? Do you have any thoughts or opinions on the view?"
"Hmm…" She put one finger to her chin. "It's a pretty good view." She said, getting out of bed and joining him in front of the refrigerator. He poured the orange juice in a shaker and filled it with ice, 7-Up and grenadine. "What can I say?" He boasted, his bare chest puffed out slightly, "I work out." He put the lid on the shaker and gave it a hearty shake. Then poured the concoction into two champagne flutes.
"Here's my question," she said, holding his hand, leading them towards the living area of the room. "If there's no champagne in this, isn't it just weird orange juice?" She took a sip from her glass to prove the point.
Dave took a sip. "Maybe I should leave the bartending to Max and his team." He said, with a grimace. "I just followed the recipe."
"I'll tend your bar for free," she said, taking his glass and setting them both on the side table. "You stick to cooking and we might just make it to forever."
"Now, that is extremely romantic and we should have put that in our vows." He said, his tone laced with heavy sarcasm.
"I definitely see the missed opportunity." Erin agreed, rolling her eyes.
"I don't know about you," Dave said, grabbing the remote off the table next to him. He pressed a button and flames began to flicker from the gas fireplace,"but that bearskin rug looks awfully inviting." He said, kissing her neck, following the line down her collarbone.
"Mmm…"
"Do you trust me?" He asked softly, his breath brushed lightly against her neck.
"Am I going to need a safe word for this?" She asked.
"I haven't decided yet.." he continued to blaze a path down her neck with his warm mouth. "Might want to come up with something...just in case."
"Diamonds," Erin gasped. Her naked body pressed against the bearskin rug in front of the fireplace.
"You usually like that," Dave said, confused. He pulled his hands away from her breasts.
"You're too eager…" she said, bringing his hands back up to her chest. "You can't just grab a handful like you're checking a tomato at the grocery store. Just be gentle."
"Yes, Mrs. Rossi…" He said against her neck, leaving a trail of hot wet kisses down her skin. She lay on her side, watching the glow of the flames in the fireplace.
"Do you think they've noticed we're not there?" Erin gasped, as he continued his journey down her body. Waves of pleasure rippled through her. His goatee brushed lightly against her shoulder. The wedding reception continued downstairs and no one seemed to realize that the bride and groom were missing.
"There's free food, an open bar and a dance floor. They either didn't notice or they don't care." He said, but his mind was on other things. His tongue trailed along the curves of her hip. Leaving hot streaks in his wake. Erin arched her back in anticipation while his mouth moved lower.
"Can I grab a handful of this?" He teased. His hands grabbed her butt.
"Y-you..can have as much of that as you want…" She said as she moaned in pleasure as he massaged her lower back.
"There's a reason why we put the cart before the horse." Erin said.
"Why's that?" He asked, planting a kiss on the small of her back.
"Because I like how the stallion performs."
"Damn right you do." He crooked one knowing finger and slowly stroked her.
"Do you hear that?" He asked, as he slowly entered her from behind.
"H-hear what?" She gasped, adjusting to him.
"I think…" he strained to hear the music coming from the ballroom. "They're playing our song."
"I didn't know we had a song.." she said, as he set a slow, gentle rhythm. His legs wrapped around her waist bringing them closer together.
Just then, strains of Celine Dion's Power of Love, floated into the room.
It was like deja vu and they were in that hotel room all over again. Where the cigars were stocked, the cards were stacked and music played loud enough to be heard in the upper rooms.. It seemed obvious now, of course they had a song.
"That brings back good memories." She said, Dave's face rested against her hip while she ran her fingers through his hair. "Although if you had told me that night that less than a year later, we would be here, together celebrating our marriage, I would have called the men in white coats and had you committed." Erin said when she had come down from her orgasmic high.
"I would have dialed the number," he admitted, laying back on the bearskin rug, with his arm around her hip. A blazing fire crackled in the fireplace behind them. It was the perfect ending to a perfect day.
A knock at the door caught their attention. "Ignore it, he said, pulling her closer.
"I'd love to," she said, "But what if it's one of the kids?" She sat up long enough to grab the blanket off the couch and cover up.
"Who is it?" Dave asked, scrambling to his feet. When he didn't receive an answer, he growled, "Somebody better be dying." As he pulled on his robe. He checked the peep hole and didn't see anyone.
He threw back the lock and stepped out of the room. In front of the door, he found a cart, laden with food and a note addressed to 'The Rossi's.' He recognized Max's handwriting.
He pushed the cart back inside the room and closed the door.
"What is it?" Erin asked.
Dave picked up the envelope and pulled out the card. "It's from Max and the catering team. It says, "no one remembers to eat on their wedding night. Ps. Enjoy the champagne with the strawberries. How nice of him to bring us our own food," Dave said, putting the note back in the envelope.
He pulled off the cover on the first tray and sat it aside. "Can I tempt you into some lamb chops?" He pulled the cover off another tray. "Maybe some fruit salad?" He picked up both trays and brought them back to the bearskin rug. He sat down, cross-legged in front of her.
"That was sweet of him," Erin said, sitting up and picking a strawberry off the plate. "He could have packed up the leftovers and threw them out."
Dave shook his head, "That's not in the contract. The rule is, we keep one tray of everything. Anything else gets donated."
"Why would we need to keep that much food? We both know you cook enough to feed an army."
He shrugged and popped a strawberry in his mouth. "You'll thank me later, when the babies get here."
"You're such a mother hen." Erin said getting to her feet and reaching for the plate of strawberries. Her lower back was tired of being on the floor.
"Yeah," he smiled, "but you like that about me."
"I plead the fifth, sometimes it's really annoying." She grumbled, crossing the room. He watched her, appreciating every curve. The lingerie was somewhere across the room. She paused, bracing herself against the mahogany footboard.
"You okay?" He asked.
"All good," she climbed in the bed, with the strawberries beside her. "But, these practice contractions can take a break." She said, rolling her eyes. "It's putting a damper on my honeymoon."
"Isn't it a little early for that?" He asked.
She rolled her eyes again, "not with twins. At this size, with one baby, it would be time to deliver."
"I don't get it," he said, "you're not even that big."
"Excuse me?" She snapped, glaring at him.
Oh shit. He was toast and he knew it. "Erin, you know I didn't mean anything by it."
"Well, what did you mean?" She asked, propped against a mountain of pillows. Her arms crossed against her chest, watching him squirm. "How much bigger do you think I should get?"
"All I'm sayin," he held up his hands in surrender, "Is that they still have time to grow." "I'm sorry it came out wrong." He went around to her side of the bed and tenderly tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Maybe we should take it easy in the sheets."
"Oh your sheets have cooled alright," Erin said darkly. Letting him know he wasn't getting laid again for the foreseeable future. "You're forgiven. Only because your argument makes sense." She said, "Now, give us a kiss."
He leaned in close, taking his time with the kiss. "Anything else?" He asked, pulling away.
"Hmm…" She thought for a minute, "The remote and some water."
"That, I can do." He went around to his side of the bed and tossed her the remote. Then, he went to the mini fridge. "See, you like the mother hen part of me, when you don't have to get up." He teased, handing her the water.
"Duh." She said, pointing the remote at the tv. "What are we watching?"
"Sportscaster," He said eagerly.
"No."
"History channel?" He tried again.
"No." She replied, flipping through the channels. "The only thing they ever talk about is war."
"And aliens." He cut in. "Bunny Ranch? We are on our honeymoon. Maybe we could learn a thing or two." He said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"HELL no." She glared at him, "Do you want a divorce?" She asked, settling on a rerun of NCIS.
He laid under the blankets beside her, "I told you I wouldn't get divorced a fourth time," he said.
"Then, one of us is going to eat the pillow and unfortunately, you sleep harder."
He barked a laugh, "I knew that was coming as soon as I signed the life insurance policy."
She rolled onto her back and sighed, "we're so romantic," she said dryly. "We've been married less than eight hours and I've already threatened your life." Somehow, she thought once they made it official, they would be kinder to each other. Instead, it was easier to let the insults fly. A good wife wouldn't joke about smothering her husband.
He sat up, shocked by how sad she sounded. "Now, hold on a minute!" He said, supporting himself on his arm. "That's exactly how I expect it to be."
"Huh?" Now it was her turn to be surprised. "I thought we agreed we weren't going to fight anymore."
"We're not fighting." Dave clarified, "Nobody else in the world is going to tease you about being a gold digger. The last guy who threatened my life, took a bullet between the eyes." He said, kissing her cheek. "I like the way we talk to each other."
She nodded, "It's kinda fun. I couldn't talk to Mark like this."
He's soft," Dave grumbled, "and we're not just KINDA fun. Erin, we're hilarious."
"That's us, the Laurel and Hardy of the BAU," Erin joked.
"I prefer to think of us as Abbott and Costello," Dave quipped back.
"Guess we're going to knock them dead at the next agency talent show," laughed Erin.
"Just as long as I am not the one to take the pie in the face." Dave said, seriously.
"I am sure all the young agents would love to be able to brag they pied the Great Agent Rossi in the face, even if they would be too starstruck to actually throw the darn thing. The agency would make a lot of money."
"If you want a real money maker, we could put a certain Section Chief in the dunk tank. No booth would raise nearly as much." Rossi teased, kissing her above her brow to let her know he was joking.
"Oh I know you're right, because you'd buy up all the tickets and no one else would get a turn." She said, pretending to give him an angry look.
"You know me so well. I'd even take out a second mortgage if I had to." Dave goaded.
"Well that's comforting, I relish the idea of being drowned and homeless."
"Don't worry, Babe. I'd miss the target every time." Dave said and pointed to the TV. "How the hell did Gibbs get his own TV show?"
"The same way you got on the New York Time's best seller list." Erin said, turned to put her arm around his torso.
They had the worst sleep schedule in history, Dave was sure of it. He stared at the alarm clock on the bedside table. The red digits seemed to be mocking him in the darkness. He'd been married less than 24 hours, he was a dad. In name and deed. He suddenly held legal responsibility for five children. Holy crap! Everything he'd ever wanted fell in his lap. So why wasn't he happy? He sat up and put his feet on the floor, he was supposed to be elated but he couldn't turn his brain off.
He went to his suitcase and threw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He didn't want to wake Erin, she would insist that he talk this out. That was the last thing he wanted to do. He crept out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him, wincing as the door creaked. He couldn't afford to be snitched out by a rusty hinge. He crept down the long hallway, peeking in on each of the kids. When all three were accounted for, he turned away. Mudgie whimpered at Mackenzie's door. Dave doubled back to let him out.
"It's a little different now. Isn't it, Boy?" Dave asked, giving the dog a much-deserved scratch behind the ears. Mudgie yipped in agreement, there was no turning back. Together, the man and his dog wandered down the hall of the historic mansion.
Dave's head swirled with thoughts that he didn't want to acknowledge. He'd never lied to Erin, not once, but now that the deed was done he couldn't stop wondering if they had gotten married for the wrong reasons. Deep down, he knew she loved him but,
tell that to his anxiety. He knew she loved him and money would never be a contributing factor. Did she marry him because she didn't trust him to come up with a fair custody agreement? Did she hitch her wagon to his because he loved her kids and knew they couldn't bear to lose each other? He blew out a breath and pushed open the door at the end of the hall. Just what he needed, an office. He went inside and sat down in the leather recliner.
All he needed was a bottle of scotch and this would be the perfect place to ruminate.
He thought back to the bottle of champagne that Max sent but dismissed it. Too much champagne would give him a headache. He let his thoughts turn back to his new bride. Surely, she wasn't that selfless. Erin was a wonderful mother, but marrying someone because her kids loved him, was pushing it. Other than that, he couldn't come up with any reason why she would have agreed to marry him. Maybe she did love him, but after the fight they'd had….he let that thought trail off. Was he really that easy to leave? After all, this was his fourth marriage. Mudgie flopped down at his feet and groaned and Dave let him. He hadn't seen his dog for longer than 20 minutes since the day Mackenzie moved in. "I guess we are in this for better or worse old pal" Dave said as he reached down and patted his faithful friend on the head but for the life of me, I can't understand why she chose to stay."
He hadn't heard his wife enter the room, so he was caught off guard when she spoke.
She closed the door with a flick of her wrist. "What I see in you is a man who loves me and my children, more than anyone else in this world has ever loved us. He is a man who goes out of his way to protect us. When my little girl cries out at night because a thunderstorm has scared her, you are only seconds behind me to her room."
"Only because you're closer to the door."
Erin held her hand up, "Hold on, I'm not done."
He nodded for her to continue.
"I see a man who takes the time to ensure my son has a man whom he can come to when he has things he can't discuss with his mother, but his father is too busy, vacationing with his new wife, to pay him any mind. That same man works out with my son, after a long day at work or after returning home from a case that took two weeks, to ensure that he made his high school baseball team, because he knew how important it was to him. I see a man who not only interrogates my oldest daughter's dates, but sits and has real honest conversations with her about how she should be treated by a young man. So she knows that despite what they may say, boys respect girls who respect themselves. I see a man who actually cares that my children feel loved, accepted and a part of this new family we are building. A man who I know would give his life to protect us. A man whose heart was broken when he realized the pain he had caused both my kids and I by his actions and who truly regretted that he hurt us. What I see is a man who was after my heart before my body. I see a man who actually cares what I think and listens when I talk, even when you go about doing what you want to anyway."
What I see in you David Rossi is a man who is flawed but is the perfect man for me."
He stood up and reached for her, "I didn't expect all of that."
"Well…" she shrugged, "it's true and if I'm being honest, it's kind of a lot for 2am."
He nodded and stood up, "my uh..head got away from me," he admitted.
"Mine too…" she said. "But you're the one who kept asking. It's a little late for buyer's remorse."
"I guess you're stuck with me," he said.
"Poor me…" she said dryly and rolled her eyes heavenward. "I wish I had gotten the warranty."
"We should have put that whole in the wedding vows…" He stood up and Mudgie followed suit. "Let's go back to bed," Dave said and took her hand. "What woke you up?" He asked as they took their time walking down the long hallway.
"It's entirely your fault," Erin said, "Your daughter is bunched up against my ribs."
"Ouch." He winced at the thought. "Does walking help?"
She laughed slightly, "No, but it gives me something to do."
"We're going to need the massages after this," Erin said and picked up her purse. Off the kitchen counter.
"I concur," Dave said, placing another package of bottled water in the cooler. "I don't care what anyone says, anything can happen in a corn maze."
"Is it too late to tell the kids that the maze is closed?" She asked, "This isn't what I had in mind when you suggested going to the fall festival."
"You could try but they wouldn't buy it." Dave said, packing another bag of ice into the cooler.
Erin shook her head, "I should have never taught them how to Google." She eyed the cooler, packed to the brim with bottles of water and cold snacks. "It's a two-hour maze, David."
"Like I said," he nodded, "anything can happen in a corn maze." He bent over and fastened a reflective collar on Mudgie's neck.
Erin looked at the clock on the wall, "It's noon, we'll be out of there well before sundown."
"Do I need to remind you of the six P's of war?" Dave asked, raising an eyebrow. "This is what you get when you marry a marine."
Footsteps down the hall stopped Erin's response, "Are you guys ready yet?" Mackenzie asked, impatiently. She bounced on her toes, overflowing with energy.
"Almost," Dave said, closing the lid on the cooler. "Go tell Paul to take this to the car." He raised the handle on the cooler and leaned it against the wall.
Without a word, the ten year old bounced towards the front door, with Mudgie trailing behind her with exuberance of a new puppy."
Erin shook her head, "Does Mudgie know how old he is?"
Dave shrugged, "I think he's ignoring it, same as us."
"This place is huge!" Paul said, staring wide-eyed out the window of the backseat of Dave's car.
"The owner says there's 20 acres." Dave said, navigating them through the woods. Dirt roads cut through the woods away from the mansion. Massive pines and maple trees filled their vision and the mansion seemed very far away.
"Are you guys sure you want to do the corn maze?" Erin asked, as they got closer to the festival. "There's a lot of other fun things to do here."
"I just wanna run!" Mackenzie said, still buzzing with energy.
"Okay," Erin glared at the occupants of the car, "who gave the ten-year old wedding cake for breakfast?"
"It seemed like a good idea at the time," Dave said, blushing. As he pulled into a parking space on grass. Orange cones and white spray paint lines marked the appropriate parking spots.
Erin patted her new husband on the arm, "you still have a lot to learn."
"Lets GO!" Mackenzie said, barrling out of the car.
Paige rolled her eyes and snapped the leash to Mudgie's collar. "Dave's not in charge of breakfast anymore."
Paul nodded and stared at Dave, "Look man, you gotta scrape at least a third of the icing off before you give it to her. She doesn't notice and we don't have to suffer."
"Noted." Dave said, raising an eyebrow.
"What are we going to do about Andy?" Erin asked, watching the kids meander in front of them. Their brightly colored backpacks stuck out among the never ending rows of corn.
"If it had gone any further, we could turn him in to the DOJ." Dave said, "But he won't get away with it."
"No, he won't." Erin said "I don't know what the hell happened to him. When he was section chief, he was the model FBI agent. I wonder if…" she trailed off, wondering if the post of FBI director is what sent him into a tailspin and would the same thing happen to her if and when she took up the post?
"Don't worry," he said and cracked open the bottle of water in his hand. "We'll figure it out."
"Look, look!" Mackenzie said, pointing ahead of her.
Erin's head snapped up, J.J. and Will were ahead of them, with Henry trotting along beside them, swinging from Will's hand.
"I didn't know this was a public event," Dave said, waving them over.
J.J. grinned, "we saw it in the paper."
"It looks like you weren't the only one who is overly prepared to get lost for days." Erin said, gesturing to Will's cooler dragging behind him.
"This is all her," Will pointed to J.J.
"Anything can happen in a corn maze," J.J. said.
"That's what I said," Dave boasted.
"Mom?" Henry turned to J.J. and tugged on her hand. "Can I go with them?" He asked, pointing to Mackenzie.
J.J. nodded and let go of his hand, "stay where we can see you."
Henry took off like a shot, towards Mackenzie. "Come on, Dude let's go." She said, holding out her hand to him. After all, he was only six.
"Stay where we can see you!" Erin called.
"If we can't see Mudgie, we can't see you." Dave reminded the group.
"Aye, aye." Paul called back and both of his parents could hear his eye roll, even if they didn't see it.
"Did you have a good time?" Dave asked, from the driver's seat.
Erin nodded, watching Paige's car from the visor mirror. "No complaints." She said, still looking in the mirror. "I miss that tub already."
"I'll buy you three just like it, if you put the mirror away." Dave put his hand on her leg, "she can tell you're watching her. You're probably making her nervous."
"I wish we would have kept Mudgie, he's distracting her…"
"It's fine, Erin. He's asleep in the back."
Just then, Erin's phone vibrated on the seat beside her, she picked it up and read the text. "Paul says we need to speed up." Her phone buzzed again, "and that I should and I quote, 'stop watching us and enjoy the silence. Mackenzie's had a bag of Twizzlers and half a Mountain Dew."
"And they say I'm not in charge of breakfast...they don't get to pick out the snacks anymore."
She flipped the visor up and turned to him, "you're right. She's a good driver and I trust her."
"Say it again." He said, just to get under her skin.
"Which part?" She groaned, knowing the answer.
"The first part."
She rolled her eyes, "you're right."
"Music to my ears."
"And to think, this is what I'm stuck with." She said, mocking him.
"Till death do us part but let's be honest, I'd probably stalk you in Heaven. I don't like sharing."
She snorted, "I'll find you on the park bench outside the pearly gates."
He shrugged, "Just keeping the seat warm, Sweetheart."
For who?"
"Eh, all of my ex wives and your ex husband."
"Well, if Heaven is letting all of them in, I think I'd like to shoot for Hell."
He laughed, "sounds like a plan. Not a good plan, but it's better than nothing."
Comfortable silence fell between them, Dave's hand stayed on her thigh until they pulled into the driveway. "Welcome home, Mrs. Rossi."
He unbuckled his seat belt and went around to the passenger side.
"I can get my own door," she protested.
"I can make my own lunches too, but you do that anyway." He said, holding the door as she got out of the car.
"Are we going to leave our stuff in the car?" She asked, going towards the trunk.
"Nah," Dave shook his head, "we have three kids, that's free labor." He said, pulling the trays of food from the backseat. "I'm only taking these in so they don't spoil."
"Now that is music to my ears." Erin said, she walked up the front steps and unlocked the front door.
Dave came up behind her as she shut down the alarm, "I'm pretty sure the kids are taking their sweet time coming home." He said, he sounded like he had a secret.
"Yeah?" She asked, with a smile. "You sound pretty sure."
"Well…" He dragged out the word. Wrapping one hand around her waist, holding the disposable foil pan in the other. "I might have bought them off...they're dropping Mudgie off, then having dinner at a restaurant and seeing a movie."
"I thought we were going to take it easy in the bedroom," she said coyly.
He chuckled low in his throat, "There are plenty of ways to enjoy each other's company without touching the sheets."
"When you said we could 'enjoy each other's company,' she said, putting air quotes around the sentence, "this is not what I thought you had in mind."
He shrugged and dipped the brush back in the nail polish. He tightened the lid and gave it a hearty shake. "Trust me, it's more fun than it looks." He said, sitting the nail polish aside. "I was told by the expert that you have to let the polish settle before you use it. Otherwise it bubbles." He said, cupping Erin's ankle in his hands.
"Who's the expert?" She asked, she sighed as his firm grip traveled down her foot.
"Mackenzie," he said sheepishly. "I caught her sitting in the kitchen painting her nails." He shrugged, "she and Paige showed me a few things."
"What color did they talk you into?" Erin asked, smiling. "And where the hell was I when this was happening?"
She could have sworn she saw him blush. "It was green and you were sleeping. But in my defence, how else am I going to know this stuff?" He asked. "Women pop out of the womb knowing how to change their looks at the drop of a hat."
"Not all of us," Erin said, shaking her head. "I thought one of the other wives would have taught you."
"Nah," he grunted, bringing the heel of his palm down her arch. "They got their own pedicures. I just paid the tab."
She laughed, "it's their loss. Pedicure massages are so awkward."
He picked up the nail polish again and unscrewed the lid. "Now, quit giggling and hold still." He said, slowly covering her toenail with lavender colored polish. "This is way more fun than I thought," he said, concentrating hard not to drip nail polish on the bedspread.
"You could have put a towel down," she reminded him.
He looked up and shot her a glare, "I like a challenge."
"Well, that explains a lot." She said, spearing a bite of cake on her fork. Resting the desert plate on her bump.
She caught him staring at her. "What?"
"Nothing," he denied, shaking his head. "You're just...comfortable. I like it."
"We're married now, Honey. It's bound to get a lot more comfortable around here. If you think this is bad, you might want to stay out of the delivery room." She said, laying the plate aside self consciously.
"Not a chance, Erin. We're married now. Wherever you go, I'm right beside you."
"Is that a threat or a promise?" She asked.
He shrugged and picked up her other foot, massaging it, he said, "I don't know, I guess it depends on where we are going."
A note from the author: Well, this is the longest chapter I've ever posted. I couldn't find a good place to cut it. I've had a lot of fun with this story over the years. I hope you have too. There is more to come...
-Aleize Claire.