Chapter 12
Every night since Bella ran out of Paul's, a grey wolf could be found just inside the forest behind her house. Usually pacing, but sometimes he took a moment to just sit and watch her through a window and enjoy the melody of her heart beat. If she fell asleep, sometimes he could get some rest as well, but usually her fitful slumber just made him more agitated. When Bella spoke in her sleep, it was always his name. That was the only ray of hope Paul had left to hold on to.
Quil had just moved into the Swan home so now Embry had joined the stake out in the shadows of the trees. The only reason Paul tolerated the younger wolf's presence was for the comfort of pack (which Paul didn't like to acknowledge) and the memories he could see in his brother's mind. Embry was allowed in the house. Embry got to see Bella when he went inside to visit his own imprint. Embry would get to climb in a window after Charlie went to sleep and hold his mate in his arms. But Paul would stay outside in the trees just like he had been every minute he wasn't on patrol or being force fed meals by Emily.
At least the Swans lived right on the edge of town or else it would be a lot harder for the two wolves to stalk their imprints. They no longer had scheduled Bella Watch patrol shifts, but Paul wanted her as protected as possible. She was only human unlike Embry's imprint. Why was Embry here again?
You know your imprint is also a shape shifting werewolf and can protect himself, right?
I know that, asshole. You know how it is. I just need to be near him.
Paul understood, but he had stipulations for sharing his stalking perch behind the Swan house. Embry got to see Quil all the time, he didn't need this as badly as Paul did.
Ok, but for every slip where I have to see Quil's dick in your memories, I'm showing you the nastiest 70's porno bush I can remember.
Ew, why did you ever watch that in the first place?!
Curiosity and internet access are no good when you're 13. And hey, pussy is pussy. Paul shrugged as best he could in wolf form.
That's nasty. I don't even like vagina, I like… Embry's thoughts trailed off to his afternoon activities with Quil in his bedroom before his mom got home from work. They were trying to recreate a position they saw online and werewolf strength was the only thing that made it enjoyable. Sex shouldn't be that much of a work out in Embry's opinion, but it was fun to try once.
Paul had him pinned to the ground with his jaws in the scruff of the younger wolf's neck in reprimand before Embry could reminisce on the much less acrobatic round two.
Embry! If the threat of vintage porno previews isn't enough and I have to see Quil's package again I'm ripping it clean off of his body.
Nooooo, I need that! Embry whined.
Bella did not appreciate the volume of conversation in her kitchen this early on a Wednesday morning. Usually Charlie just sat there with a cup of coffee and the newspaper. She had assumed that was because like her, he was not a morning person. Apparently she was wrong. Charlie and Quil were loudly discussing the unusually high number of bear sightings that had been reported lately. Quil was informing her father that this many bears had not been sighted on the reservation in generations. She guessed that was because gigantic bear-sized werewolves had not been roaming the forests for generations.
Charlie was eating these stories right out of Quil's hand and before she knew it, her father was agreeing to Bella having her own personal security to and from school. Quil would be taking her and picking her up because she has to drive right by the forest and it's still dark when she leaves for school which is the most active time of the day for bears apparently. Quil also claimed it was on the way to his homeschooling lessons, but Bella knew that was a lie. How was Quil driving her going to protect her from bears anyway? Are bears prone to road rage? Were they going to lure her to the side of the road with candy before mauling her?
She didn't wait one second after Charlie walked out to the cruiser before questioning Quil's motivation for securing her a babysitter. "I know bears aren't what you're worried about in the woods, young man." She raised her eyebrows over her coffee mug and gave him a pointed look. "Whatever is going on, you can't be my shadow forever. Charlie is going to catch on eventually, Quil. Did Paul put you up to this?" She sat across from him at the kitchen table, wishing she had the same interrogation training as her father.
Brushing off her serious tone, he spoke around a mouthful of cereal from his fourth bowl this morning. "Calm down, it wasn't Paul. You're just precious cargo." When she rolled her eyes for probably the tenth time already this morning Quil added, "Imprint or not."
"What about when Charlie thinks you're stalking me? He has a whole gun safe, y'know." She was grasping at straws. Charlie loved the boys from the rez and was just happy Bella had some company her own age.
"I'll tell him I'm madly in love with you," Quil shrugged like that explanation made any sense.
"Dumbass, he knows you got kicked out for being gay," she pointed out the seemingly obvious.
"Excuse you, Swan, I am not gay." He said with his spoon pointed at her. Milk dripped onto the table and Bella mentally added cleaning the kitchen to the list of things Quil could do to pay his keep.
Genuinely confused, Bella asked, "You have sex with a man, what do you call it?"
"I'm Embry-sexual," he declared with a smug smile. Bella realized he wasn't kidding when he didn't laugh and his smile didn't fade. God, imprinting was weird.
"And I'm gonna puke." She finished her coffee and got up to deposit her mug in the sink as an excuse to hide her face from the wolf. If he saw her roll her eyes one more time he might suggest she had a muscle spasm or was developing a tic. "Let's go to school, chauffeur. I demand punctuality if you're going to be my personal driver." She was already walking toward the door, backpack slung over her shoulder and poptart in hand.
Maybe Quil really did go to Emily's while she was at school? It had been a few days now, and Quil had kept up the routine. He drove her truck to Forks High, left to do who knows what, picked her up to go to Emily's after school, and drove her back home in time to make dinner. It was Friday now and she was trying to devise a plan to escape her bodyguard at some point this weekend for some sweet, sweet silence. Although the constant wolf presence made the ache in her chest a little more bearable.
On her way to lunch Bella could have sworn she saw a chocolate brown blur in the trees but she could just be paranoid. Why would he be watching her here? She chose to eat outside because for once it wasn't raining and she didn't feel like listening to the latest drama with Mike or Jessica or whoever was dating who these days.
Her friendships at school completely fell apart while she was recovering from Doucheward and his thrall. She wasn't in a funk anymore, but she just didn't care to put the effort in to maintain her friendships here. She had the pack and Paul. Paul. Did she even have Paul anymore?
It's been almost a week and they still had not spoken yet. In his defense, Paul had called the house three times. She was the one ignoring him. Charlie had caught on that they were not talking and had been much more convincing the last two times he had to lie for her. At this point she didn't know why she was still avoiding his calls.
Before she went over there on Sunday and slept with him, they had talked about moving in together after graduation. He had his own place and they wouldn't have to tip-toe around Charlie. No more sneaking in windows at night and listening to make sure Charlie wasn't coming to check on her. She had already been mentally cataloging the changes she was going to make to Paul's house to spruce it up a bit. It needed a feminine touch. At least Paul wasn't a messy guy.
How could she be fine thinking about how easy it would be to live together, but the second he mentioned a lifetime of domestic bliss, she totally flipped? Yes, she loved him. Jake was right, it was really difficult to be apart. Her chest ached like someone had wrapped rubber bands around her ribcage. She was familiar with the symptoms of anxiety, but this was the first time she knew exactly what would fix it. Her wolf.
But that was the imprint! She wanted a relationship based off of more than the tingly zap of static electricity when they touched. They had talked on the phone and cuddled whenever they could, but most of their time together was spent with the pack. It made sense, wolves are pack animals and they are more comfortable together, but they were also humans, goddamnit!
She resolved right then and there to spend more time alone with Paul. Maybe if they could date like human beings it would bring a sense of normalcy to all of the supernatural parts of their lives. Yes, hanging out alone meant more opportunities to get in each other's pants and holy shit, that was mind blowing, but the fringe benefits extended past the sexual. They could watch an entire movie without having to listen to Quil and Embry groping each other on the next couch over. They could eat a meal without having to guard plates from wandering hands if you ate too slowly. At least Paul waited for her to finish before licking her plate clean.
The concept of forever was still terrifying. That was a very long commitment. People committed eternity to each other all the time, right? But marriage wasn't ineffable. What was the statistic? 50% of marriages ended in divorce or something like that. Just look at her own parents. That was a point in favor of the imprint. Supposedly Paul wouldn't leave her, cheat on her, break her heart, or decide the Olympic Peninsula was suffocating and move to a sunnier state. Supernatural mind control was working in her favor here.
And unlike with Edward, forever only meant one lifetime. In this light, her own mortality was actually comforting. It wasn't actually forever, frozen in time. Being an immortal teenager sounded worse and worse the more she thought about it. Edward leaving her was the best thing that he could have ever done for her happiness.
With Paul she had the opportunity to have kids, grow old, watch their kids have kids, and someday die in their sleep from old age and be buried next to each other with some sappy epitaph on their headstones about being two halves of the same whole, together forever in the dirt. Wow, that got a bit morbid, Bella.
Ignoring words like "forever" and "eternity", she tried to picture what her life with Paul would be like. It wasn't so scary. She could imagine living in his home on the rez. They would have a kid or two down the road. The whole pack will help each other so she wasn't too nervous about having kids, even with her mom across the country. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do for work, but she knew Paul didn't know either. They would figure it out. They could work in Forks, she knew jobs were hard to come by on the rez. Construction wasn't really working out for Paul. She knew he didn't feel any sense of fulfillment or accomplishment from that. Maybe they could go to school together or take classes online if he couldn't take a break from the pack.
They were going to need to work on communication if they were going to figure all of these things out together. They needed to have a long talk about all of this in order to build her future together. A future she really, really wanted with Paul. How could she run from him like that? After he had shared his feelings with her and been so vulnerable. Bella had been avoiding thinking about it all week by keeping herself busy or surrounded by people. Now that she was alone and took the time to really analyze how she felt, she felt... terrible.
Fuck, she had been an asshole. She had some serious apologizing to do. Before she could apologize, she needed to figure out why she had freaked out like that. Paul deserved an explanation.
Okay, so the concept of marriage didn't bother her, even if it hadn't worked out for her parents. It wasn't about being tied to someone. She found the concept of the imprint romantic. She had been really excited about the imprint when Billy first told her about the magic of the spirits. Soul mates were real and she had hers handed to her on a silver platter. This gorgeous man that had been made for her, for christsake. What part of this was so hard to accept?
Jake had hit the nail on the head when they had talked that first night Quil was over. She was just scared to lose her sense of self. Her entire life became wrapped around the Cullens and now her entire life was the pack. That's what she didn't like. Once again she was a glass doll wrapped in bubble wrap, to be protected and coddled in case anything even looked at her wrong. Quil becoming her guard dog only further proved her point. What were they so worried about hurting her that the pack felt like she needed a wolf on her 24/7?
A suspiciously lupine whine from the woods proved her point. Before she could get angry at whichever pack member was protecting her from her bagged lunch, she realized why they had gotten her attention. She was so lost in her thoughts she had missed the bell. Nobody else lingered around the tables outside and she was clearly late for class. Bella hurried to her classroom, still shoving things back into her bag and resolved to ask Emily how she could maintain her independence and sense of self while being a part of an imprint.
Right on schedule, Quil pulled her truck up to the curb at the end of the school day. He was wearing just a pair of shorts, further proving her theory that he was the wolf in the trees. At least the spring weather was warming up enough for it to be less suspicious that the guys never wore layers. Or shirts even. She wondered what he did with the vehicle during the day if that really was him watching her outside at lunch.
Quil started the usual back and forth of 'hello how was school?' Bella cut right to it with an accusatory tone, "Thanks for the wake up call, Cerberus. I was five minutes late to Calculus."
Quil was quick to counter, "If you're implying I'm a guard dog, I would have preferred Fluffy, the guard dog from the first Harry Potter. Also three headed, coincidentally."
Impressed that he understood her reference, she chose to focus instead on his admission, "Ha! So you were watching me from the woods!"
"I never said that, I just didn't like your reference. Cerberus guarded the gates of Hell to keep the dead inside. We're trying to keep them out. Your analogy just didn't add up."
"Ok, whatever. In the future I'll run all mythology references by you first," she crossed her arms defiantly before continuing. "But someone was barking at me from the trees at lunch."
Distracted by trying to maneuver around the mass of students in the parking lot, Quil defended himself, "I did not bark."
"Ha!" she exclaimed with a finger pointed at his face. He huffed a sigh of defeat and committed to keeping his trap shut the rest of the way to Emily's to avoid further self-incrimination. Bella changed the subject to something she knew he wouldn't resist talking about.
"Based on the scratches down your shoulders, I'm guessing you took a break from guard duty to meet up with Embry at some point? He must have really done a number on you for those to stay red this long," she wondered, tracing one of the gouges with her finger tip, as an excuse to touch heated skin. She missed the warmth, even from a platonic wolf like Quil. Pack was pack.
As predicted, he perked right up. "Or maybe we just finished during your last class," he confirmed with a wink. "I figured the only threat to you during P.E. was yourself so I ran over to his place. Almost missed picking you up, Princess."
She snatched her hand back and pouted, "Don't call me that. Paul calls me that."
The rest of the ride was quiet. Quil wondered if he had gone too far and Bella just stared out the window and missed her man. Thankfully the house full of boys was a great distraction. Seth, Embry, and Jake were already sitting around Emily's kitchen table with homework spread out and an empty bowl in the middle that looked like it had chips in it at one point. Those had probably lasted thirty seconds.
Quil glared daggers at Seth until he took the hint and scooted down the bench seat to make room for the older wolf to slide in next to his boyfriend. Quil and Embry immediately wrapped around each other like a koala clinging to a tree branch for its life during a monsoon. Bella finally understood how Jake felt watching all of the imprints around him grope each other. It just made her sad. She should be wrapped around someone like a koala clinging to a tree branch for its life during a monsoon.
Before she even got settled at the table to work on her homework too, she tracked down Emily in the kitchen. They had gotten much closer since Bella started coming over after school to do homework and help the boys with theirs. They were all in lower grades which meant she had already taken most of the subjects they studied, Quileute history being the main exception. It wasn't offered at Forks High or else Bella would have loved to take it. Instead she took advantage of the opportunity to learn from Emily with the boys. Emily always made sure to save those lessons for the afternoons when Bella would be able to learn too.
If Bella was going to ask anyone about the imprint, it would be Emily. Her other option was...Billy? Talking to Billy about how sleeping with Paul changed everything just wasn't going to happen. Emily was still more of a parent figure than a friend, even though she really wasn't that much older. Just enough to make Bella more comfortable asking her advice.
"What's bothering you, honey?" Emily asked, knowing Bella was trying to muster up the courage. Paul had been sulking and angry again so Emily knew something was up but nobody was talking about it and it wasn't her place to ask. Clearly Bella was struggling with something too. She led Bella to the back patio to give the illusion of privacy from prying ears sitting at the table in the other room.
As soon as Bella gracelessly flopped down onto the top step she laid it all out. The younger woman relayed the full story on what happened Sunday, avoiding Paul's phone calls all week, the hollow ache in her chest, and lastly, her revelation today at lunch. Bella didn't want to be a damsel in distress that waited for a knight in shining armor to save her. She wanted to save herself!
Oh boy, Emily now understood why Jake had chosen to keep Laurent a secret from Bella. This little punk might actually go stomping into the woods with a sharpened stick and some garlic to hunt that vampire down herself. Emily couldn't have been more proud.
"Honey, you can be in a relationship and still be independent. Yeah, the imprint is a little more demanding than a regular relationship, but-"
"A little? More like a lottle," Bella interrupted. She was exhausted and her capacity for intellectual conversation went out the window with her sanity after her third restless night. "It physically hurts and it's been less than a week."
"Paul isn't going to leave you. You don't have to worry about being able to stand on your own," Emily reassured. Having been a 'wolf girl' the longest, she would have bet her next paycheck that Paul was in the trees listening to this conversation. They just couldn't stay away from their imprints especially if their mate was upset. For the grey wolf's benefit, Emily continued, "That man treasures you, Bella. I didn't know you too well before all this, but I can see the massive help you've been for Paul. He's in this for the long haul, sweetie. Your heart is safe with him."
"It's not my heart that I'm afraid is going to be broken," Bella sighed cryptically. "After Edward, I found myself. I became my own person before I got involved with the pack. What if Paul needs me more than I need him? His wolf wants a mate and pups. What if I'm not wifey enough? What if I don't want kids for a few years? I'm not even Quileute! I grew up listening to the legends, but it's not my culture. He's going to have watered down, half-white kids. What's that going to do to the wolf gene? We know the imprint isn't about just making babies, but what if I'm not.. enough? I want a life of my own, not just to be Paul's wife. I do love him, Emily. So much. But loving Paul isn't everything. I need hobbies and a career and, and.. more! What if the wolf just wants a housewife?"
Tears flowed freely down Bella's cheeks. Emily couldn't hold herself back any longer and she wrapped Bella into a hug so tight that the younger woman suspected for a minute that Jake had been giving hug lessons. Emily was so proud of Bella. And so sorely missing female friends. Leah understood now what happened, but their friendship was irreparably damaged. Kim wasn't great to begin with and hasn't come around since Jared opened his fat mouth. So Emily basked in the sisterhood bonds of pack mates and gathered all of her thoughts before speaking again.
"Paul isn't just a wolf. But even then, wolves in nature like a powerful female. Of course you should have your own life and interests. That's healthy for any relationship, imprint or not. You can and you should have your own purpose without being defined by your marital status. And I'm Makah! Just because I'm just as caramel as the boys, doesn't mean I'm not still 'watering down' the genes as you called it," she chuckled. The pack mom ran her hand up and down Bella's back in a comforting gesture before continuing. Touch was so important to the pack, even the imprints.
"Paul doesn't need a housewife, he just wants a happy wife. And right now," Emily pulled back from the hug and paused until Bella's watery eyes met her own, "Right now, all he wants is a happy girlfriend."
Jake was trying to ignore the conversation coming from the back porch and focus on his school work. Bella and Paul were on track to figuring out their issues and he had his own shit to deal with. He had twice the homework the other guys did because he was trying to wrap up his high school education twice as fast. Leah wasn't in high school and Jake didn't want to be either. Maybe she would take him seriously as a romantic partner if he wasn't a student anymore. He had convinced himself that was the thing holding her back. He powered through algebra 1 and 2 in a month because maybe Leah would take him seriously. But math was easy. There was a problem with a clear solution if he just understood the mechanics of how to get there.
If only the pack was that easy. He had problems and he had no idea how to solve for 'x.' They had been training most nights all week to work on shutting their thoughts off from the pack mind. If they could get down to pure instinct like Leah, they stood a chance against the persuasive powers of that leech with the locs. The clinking sound of the ceramic beads in his hair haunted Jake's dreams. This bloodsucker was going to keep hunting in their forests until he got Bella or they got him. The former just wasn't an option.
Every minute possible was spent working with the other wolves and Leah to suppress their humanity and turn everything over to the wolf. If he wasn't on patrol or training, he was doing homework. Sleep was elusive. Even when he managed to hit the sack, those goddamn beads clinked in his dreams. Taunting him.
He couldn't sleep at home anymore either. There was a disembodied hand in a gun safe in his garage. He could hear the nightmarish Halloween prop scratching at the steel walls from the inside. What was he supposed to do with it? It would stop moving eventually, right? Vampires were immortal but they still needed to eat for energy so logically it would stop fucking scratching at some point. Logic was a joke. He was a shapeshifter contemplating the physiology of another mythological creature.
If the Cullens were here, he'd call up Dr. Fang and ask. Then again, if the Cullens were here, this would be their problem to deal with and his pack would just have to worry about keeping the thing off of their land. But if the leeches never left, Bella would probably be a zombie bride by now. A shudder ran down the Alpha's spine at the thought of his best friend being turned into a demon.
His tremors ceased when Bella walked back in from the porch with a wide smile. She must be feeling better about the imprint. Thank the spirits. Paul hasn't been able to phase back since the third avoided call last night and Jake needed their strategist back up and running. Literally. Paul had been a pile of useless fur all week and if it wasn't for Jared's punishment of running the guys' patrols, they'd have an issue. All the boys at the table could hear him pacing behind the Uley home just out of human sight.
"Hey Bells," Jake said, scooting over to make room for her to sit down next to him. "Do you think you can help me with some biology?"
Unpacking her backpack, Bella paused when she realized, "You took biology as a freshman, why would you have biology homework?"
"Ummm.. it's not for school, actually." Jake hoped she could help his predicament but he didn't know how to ask without telling her about Laurent. Bella was the resident vampire expert, seeing how the pack only interacted with a leech long enough to rip its head off. Usually.
When she just nodded, confusion furrowing her brow, Jake continued, "What would happen if part of a leech got..." he struggled for the right word, "detached?"
She seemed to consider it before answering as if this was a totally normal conversation to be having. Bella was good with weird. She didn't mind talking about leeches, she usually just avoided talking about what used to be her leeches.
"I've never seen it happen, but I heard stories. They can put themselves back together. Jasper and Emmett would arm wrestle and the loser lost an arm for the day." Jake could tell she was uncomfortable. Or maybe just angry. He knew she didn't like talking about the Cullens so he just let her rant. "I wasn't allowed to hang around when they did actual fun things in case the tiny human got injured. Edward thought their games were childish because Edward was a boring old man."
"No arguments there, Bells. But if the arm didn't get reattached, what would happen?" He needed to keep her on track before she got off topic. There was no end to her list of complaints about that asshole and his "siblings".
She answered with a shrug, "Keep trying to get back to the body, I guess?" They both thought for a while. The other boys around the table were playing along well, knowing Laurent was to be kept from the girl.
Jake needed more information but he was struggling with how to articulate his questions. "Would it eventually die? I know they're immortal but unless it's attached to a mouth, the arm wouldn't have a source of food."
"They could go a long time without eating. Or moving even. Carlile told me about these ancient vampires that sat unmoving on their thrones for so long that they began to petrify." Bella was getting suspicious of Jake's line of questioning. It was oddly...specific.
Talking out loud more to himself than to her, Jake murmured, "I wonder if the leech would feel the arm or if the disembodied arm can feel the body."
Something was up and Bella didn't like it. "Why are you suddenly so concerned about the physiology of vampires, Jake? Quil said he hasn't seen one in ages."
Jake has been spending too much time around werewolves because when he muttered "Quil was too busy getting laid," to himself he thought it was low enough for her human ears to miss. It wasn't.
"Excuse me?" She nearly screamed. "There have been vampires coming around? Why has this been kept a secret? Do the other imprints know? Why didn't Paul tell me! He's not supposed to be able to lie to me!" Bella stood awkwardly, struggling to push back the bench seat under the weight of the wolves. Finally climbing over the bench to pace the length of the table, Bella fumed.
"Omission is different from lying, Bells," he pointed out.
Correcting her was not the appropriate response to her many questions. Supernatural reflexes allowed him to deftly catch the textbook Bella threw with uncharacteristic accuracy right at his face. He still wanted to keep Laurent a secret from Bella so he needed to deflect. She wasn't his imprint, he could lie to her. Maybe it was a good thing Paul wasn't here.
"It's not a big deal, Bells," He started, already lying. "We just get the occasional leech running by. We don't let them get away." Another lie.
"Okay," Bella drew out the word, "but why are you asking about disembodied vampire limbs?" It only took a second for her to connect the dots herself. She was a smart girl, afterall. She turned back to gauge his expression as she asked "Do you have a disembodied vampire limb, Jacob?"
His moment of hesitation was all the confirmation she needed to know why her best friend was asking.
"WHAT THE HELL? Burn it! Burn it right now! Where are you keeping it?" She paused before adding even louder, "WHY are you keeping it?" The wolves in the room winced at her shrill voice, just glad that it was directed at their Alpha and not them. Any wolf on the Rez probably just heard that.
"Bells, Bells, Bells, my ears are bleeding," Jake pleaded. "It's just a hand."
She stopped pacing to stare at him incredulously. "Oh that makes it ok." She threw her hands in the air and managed to raise her voice another octave, causing the boys at the table to cover their ears. "It's just a hand, Jacob. A motherfucking vampire hand that could definitely still kill a human in a second if it got a hold of your neck!"
Quil couldn't help himself. He burst out laughing in loud guffaws. Embry was trying to stifle his own laughter and Seth had a small smile of his own. Jacob was the only one able to keep a straight face, probably because he was still afraid of the angry woman in front of him. Bella turned to the laughing wolves with fire in her eyes.
"What's so funny, Quil?" She demanded with a stomp of her foot.
"I'm sorry, Bells." Quil wiped the tears from his eyes and wrapped his arms around Embry as if trying to use him as a human shield to protect himself from the scary woman. "I get that you're upset, but it's just a hand. It can't go flinging itself at anyone's neck. It was just a really funny mental image. It just sits there clawing and trying to inch around."
Jake explained further, "It's locked in an empty gun safe and yes, it could hurt someone if they picked it up or something, but we're not going to let it out. I only kept it because I didn't know what else to do with it. I'm starting to think I should just burn it. Leah has been telling me to get rid of it since she tore it off-"
Emily interrupted Jake just in time before he could say anymore about Laurent. A large tray of muffins in hand, the pack mom called out, "Who's hungry?"
Hoping to change the subject before Bella asked questions, Embry spoke up around a mouthful of muffin, "How are things with Leah, Jay?"
The distraction worked perfectly. They were all dying for an update on Alpha couple and Leah definitely hadn't been telling the boys anything. The back and forth between the Alpha wolves was like their own pack soap opera with a "will they or won't they" storyline.
Jake had been meaning to talk to Bella anyway about the latest Leah confusion and there were no secrets in the pack. Well, other than Laurent. But this was something Jake wasn't shy about. He had been mostly keeping to himself for Leah's sake.
He took a big breath to give himself a moment to figure out where to start. "She never lets me get her alone to talk about it. I want to tell her it's not just my wolf that's interested. I've been interested for a long time now. She's a million miles out of my league and I wouldn't even know how to bring it up." Jake let his head fall into his hands and Bella reached out to run a comforting hand down his back. "I'm going nuts overthinking the whole thing and my wolf is like constantly pushing me to man up, but I feel like such a little kid compared to her. I can't tell her any of this without feeling weak. I'm supposed to be Alpha and she brings me to my knees."
"Well she's going to find out now," Seth spoke up. All heads in the room turned to the usually silent pack member who was still looking down at his homework. "You guys can't keep anything to yourself," he indicated Quil and Embry with a quick glance at the couple before continuing with his eyes back on his paper. "No offense. And we have training the next two nights. She's gonna hear about this. Someone's gonna show this conversation in the pack mind and she's going to find out you're in love with her."
All eyes were locked on the boy as if to make sure it was really him who had spoken. Seth didn't look up from his homework again as the pack members looked between each other to confirm they all had the same hallucination. That was the most Seth had spoken to anyone that wasn't Leah or his mother since he phased. Even when he patrolled, he mostly just hummed songs to himself to keep his mind preoccupied. The boys didn't think much of it, but Bella knew he had spoken up to help his sister. Leah had obviously talked to him about it and this was Seth's way of pushing the two stubborn Alphas together.
Bella knew the wolves did training sessions but she didn't realize it was that frequently. Two nights in a row? She didn't think Quil was sneaking out to attend these pack meetings. Tomorrow night she was spending the night at Emily's for a girl's sleepover with the other imprints. Maybe that was so Quil could go? She hadn't failed to notice there was always a wolf with her in Forks and when she was on the Rez she was with at least one other imprint. What were they training for? Something was going on and she felt like she was being kept in the dark.
Bella settled back into her spot on the table and tried to focus on her school work. Quil and Embry were distracted having a silly argument about who had better control over their thoughts. Jake was still watching Seth with a dumb look on his face while the boy remained oblivious to the room around him. Emily hummed while reviewing lesson plans and picking apart a muffin.
And outside, a wolf waited.
Paul watched from the woods as he always did these days. He watched Bella try to do homework even though she was too distracted by the ache in her chest. He watched as she packed up and declined Emily's offer to stay for dinner, much to Quil's disappointment. He watched as Quil walked her to the truck and drove her home.
The grey wolf constantly had to remind himself that Quil was harmless. He had his own imprint. A male imprint. He wasn't a threat.
The wolf hung around outside of Emily's when his schedule allowed and he knew Bella would be there after school. She smelled more like Quil than himself these days and his wolf hated that. Angry Paul was back. Almost five days and he'd fought nearly all of his pack brothers. Jared at least had it coming. They'd been best friends since Paul moved to La Push when he was eight and now he doesn't trust the man enough to even have his back to him.
It's been a whole school week since Bella used him and left. Charlie was lying about her not being home when he called. The last call was Thursday-last night-and Charlie had lied for the third time. Paul had crushed the phone and phased, unable to phase back since. Now he just watched her. He didn't work, he didn't run patrols, he just watched his imprint.
Training hadn't started yet so Paul was still outside Bella's window. He would stay until the very last second before he had to trust Quil to keep her safe and leave before an Alpha had to command him. For now, he enjoyed the silence of the pack mind while it lasted. The only sounds were from wildlife in the trees and an occasional comment from Jake who was on patrol currently. The best part of Baby Chief becoming Alpha was that Paul didn't have to hear Jake's inner monologue on patrol because he could control what the pack heard.
Things were different than when Sam was in charge, but different in a good way. Sam was a supernatural babysitter. He just kept a patrol schedule and kept them from killing each other when they fought for fun.
Jake was a leader. He gave them purpose and he mitigated pack issues instead of just letting the guys brawl it out. Him and Leah made a good team that gave all this shit a little more focus. Paul couldn't even bring himself to keep up his grudge against Baby Chief. Bella had helped him work out his jealousy issues and it was hard to hate the guy now. Jake was also the only one who had even tried to talk to Bella about why she was ignoring Paul and for that he was grateful. When she left he thought Bella would panic and freak out for a while and come right back to him.
I thought she'd have come to her senses by now too, man.
Fuck, Black. You're so quiet I forget you can still hear my thoughts. How's Bella?.
That leech really did a number on her. She's just trying to figure out how she feels about the whole thing. Paul, you practically proposed to her with that bracelet. She's like a professional over-thinker. I know you heard her talking to Emily. Just give her a little more time.
I'm dying, dude.
I know, Paul, I know. Can you phase back yet?
No. It's easier as the wolf.
Jake didn't bother trying to get him to phase. An Alpha order would just hurt him and he had to be a wolf for training in just a little bit anyways. He reminded Paul to meet at the clearing in twenty minutes and left the wolf to his thoughts.
Jake paced in the clearing they used for training. He decided to wait for his pack in human skin while Leah sat patiently wearing just a sundress and a bored expression. While Jake waited for the wolves to come, he ran through possible leech scenarios for the millionth time, thinking out loud more for his own benefit than to communicate with Leah. Something was coming. The spirits knew and blessed the pack with an Alpha Female and lots of wolves. Bella had said covens were rarely as big as the Cullens and they currently outnumbered them, eight to their seven.
Maybe they stood a chance if they could get down to their baser instincts and become the wolf. Like Leah. She just needed to figure out how to teach the others.
"I don't know how I do it, Jay!" Leah finally spoke up. She stood up to her full height with the lythe movements of a dancer. Even the habit of running her hands through her painfully short, shoulder length hair looked graceful. She missed her long, pin straight, shiny hair. Sam had loved it, her mother had loved it. Leah believed it was her best asset. Jake could have given her a whole list of the things he found more attractive on her than long hair, but even if it was appropriate within their odd relationship to tell her those things, she wouldn't have believed him.
"Okay, that's fine but maybe we can break it down. Think about what happens and we can replicate it," he urged her.
Jake just didn't get it. When Leah went full wolf she didn't know what happened. She doesn't even remember it. It was like she was black out drunk and didn't remember what dumb shit she did the next morning. Holy shit, did she wish she could get drunk still. Another thing the wolf took away from her. Jake was such a goody two shoes, he probably had never gotten drunk before the phase. With their high metabolisms she wondered how much liquor it took to get Jay wasted. Now that would be funny. Maybe then she'd grow some lady balls and be able to flirt with him for real.
No, she wasn't a creepy guy at a frat party. She didn't need alcohol to get a guy to be into her. They had been dancing around each other for too long now. If only her damn wolf would shut the fuck up about it and let her deal with this on her own time. She just needed to ask him. Maybe she'd chicken out and just ask one of his friends. Ughhh this wasn't middle school, she could talk to the boy she liked on her own. He was almost three years younger than her! He looked five years older than her, but she knew he wasn't some Don Juan experienced Playboy. Why should she be intimidated? She was an Alpha! She carried on the strength and honor of Kaliso, the great Alpha Female. But damn, this would be so much easier with some liquid courage.
While she reminisced about the good old days when she could drown her sorrows in a bottle, the pack showed up one at a time. Tensions still ran high whenever the whole pack got together. Jared was still being punished for his transgressions with near continuous patrols, but the pack also took it upon themselves to punish him personally. During training the hits were a little harder than necessary and they didn't always hear him when he called "uncle" during a sparring match. It was probably a good thing Quil had to stay back with Bella because Embry could only hold him back for so long. Of course he was mad too, but he thought Jared was getting it bad enough from Quil and Paul. No need to pile on. Unless Jared directly insulted Quil, then Embry would hold nothing back.
Paul was last to arrive for their scheduled training, waiting until the very last minute to leave his Bella behind. He had hit his breaking point. When she came down to the rez tomorrow he was going to get that dumbass Quil away from her and talk. He had overheard Bella's conversation with Emily. He should feel guilty for eavesdropping, but the relief of Bella's words overshadowed everything and anything. He still couldn't phase back, but maybe, just maybe, if Bella was willing to talk to him, he could convince the wolf to let the man free. He was just glad he could stay wolf for tonight's activities so he didn't embarrass himself by not being able to phase back. To avoid thinking about it either, he thought over and over again about tearing into Jared.
Leah felt absolutely fucking ridiculous standing in front of a pack of wolves like she was leading Lupine Yoga for Beginners. She chose to stay human for this exercise. She liked that the boys couldn't talk back to her and being in their heads right now would only make it harder for her to concentrate. Well, being in Jacob's head was what was really distracting. Taking deep breaths, she tried to ignore the pine tree and ocean scent of her mate and focus on how she forgot her humanity.
"The goal here is to surrender to your wolf's instincts. The vamp can't influence us if we turn off our human brains. I did it once and we're hoping some of you can as well. We have a better chance of getting this asshole if it's not just me chasing him. I got his hand, maybe one of you can get his head." Leah continued to pace back and forth in front of the line of gigantic wolves. She was taking deep exaggerated breaths, using hand motions to encourage the pack to breathe with her. When Seth began to snore she decided to try to talk them through it instead.
"Be the wolf. Imagine running at full speed through the trees. Think of all of the scents you can smell as your wolf, all the things you wouldn't even know existed with just your human senses."
If Leah has been phased with the rest of them, she'd see that none of them were taking this seriously. Even their mighty Alpha was having a hard time staying awake. Nearly all of the wolves were daydreaming about where they would rather be. They thought this was pointless or they didn't understand how this was supposed to help catch a leech.
Paul was getting more and more agitated watching Jared's thoughts. All of the wolves were thinking about their mates, or a Scooby Doo style sandwich in Seth's case, and all of the wolves were distracted from the task at hand. But Jared's very innocent daydreams were pushing Paul closer to the brink of insanity with each passing minute. Kim's hyena laugh echoing through the pack mind was like nails on a chalkboard.
Paul tried to focus on anyone else's thoughts in order to keep murder off of tonight's agenda. He couldn't bear to think about his own mate so he took the distraction of his other brother's memories.
Leah continued coaching, "Embrace the other half of your souls. Feel the wolf. Forget your human memories."
When told not to think of something, of course it's the first thing you think of. The pack did the opposite of Leah's prompting and began to think back on their human lives. Paul bristled as his Bella's laughter now flowed freely from another's mind. Bella was so closely tied to Jake's favorite human moments that at Leah's instruction, Paul was forced to watch his love through the eyes of another. The silver wolf vibrated like the pack did in human form when the phase was just under the surface. What was he going to do? Explode into an even larger supernatural beast?
Jacob made the mistake of thinking back to his last experience as a human. The effort to meditate had dropped his mental fortitude, allowing the pack full access to his thoughts for the first time since he took over as Alpha. Images and emotions assaulted the pack mind. Flashes of Bella's living room, her mahogany hair fanned out under her on the couch, the distinct smell of her anxiety that Jacob's human senses couldn't place at the time. The vision of Bella's face contorting in pain as Jacob entered her was the last thing Paul remembered.
His vision was a red tinted haze and the only sound his brain could process was his own heartbeat hammering in his ears. The man was completely lost to the wolf.
Who needs deep breathing when pure rage does the trick?
Paul had gone feral. The wolf immediately searched for prey to kill, foaming at the mouth and snarling at any movement of his pack brothers. There was no trace of leech to hunt down and no visible threat. Without prey at hand, the predator gave in to it's next base instinct. Wolves are known for resisting the pecking order and challenging authority.
His Alpha dared to tell the savage wolf to back down. In a grey blur, he lunged for her throat.
Revised 10/13/2020