Song

everything i wanted - Billie Eilish

Chapter Five

Bella

Hugging my waist I watch as Paul puts his luggage into the taxi's trunk. My heart ached watching my little brother getting ready to leave for college but I was incredibly happy for him. I was glad that after he struggled so much, he's finally heading for a stable, safe future.

Looking over his shoulder, I can see hesitance in his brown eyes. Holding my arms out to him he runs over to me, his long legs skipping over the steps without a problem and accepting my embrace. "I don't have to live on campus, Bella. I can stay with you and just commute."

I chuckle and grab his face between both of my hands, making him look at me.

"Paul, I'll be okay. Besides you have to live that fun college life your friends keep talking about! It'll be great and you'll settle in before you know it."

He didn't want to go. Even without telling me I could see he felt guilty for leaving me all alone when it's been just us for so long. I knew we would both suffer from the distance but I also knew that he wanted to go and experience a different life than this one.

"Go have fun and live your life Paul but please don't get into too much trouble or I'll drive down there and kill you." We both laughed and enjoyed our lighthearted moment before I urged him to go before the taxi driver grew impatient.

I watched as my brother left home for the first time, towards his future and leaving me all alone with the mistakes our father committed in the past. The mistakes that wouldn't leave me alone.

I was exhausted. It's been a week since Paul moved out and ever since then I haven't been able to sleep without nightmares or James' fist pounding against my door. Now that he knew Paul wasn't around anymore his random visits started becoming more frequent which often didn't end well for me.

Last night he showed up, drunk and one thing I've learned over the years is that when James is intoxicated he is a bomb ready to explode at the slightest provocation. He got angry with me for not having more than half of what I owed him for next week gathered up, just an excuse to lash out on me again. When I told him I was working my ass off trying to get it as quickly as I could, he slapped me so hard that I was knocked to the floor. Even the next day, my cheek was still throbbing and it hurt whenever I tried to open my mouth to speak.

Staring at my reflection in the mirror of the employee's restroom, I exhaled deeply at the sight. Not only did I have dark circles under my eyes but the unavoidable bruise on my cheek was starting to look more prominent. I tried to hide it by adjusting my long hair over the right side of my face but if I stood under normal lights and not colorful strobes then it would be difficult to hide. Especially since Rosalie and the Cullen's were very perceptive. At least they seemed to be...even more so of me.

Ever since Peter gave me a ride it's been difficult avoiding him. Not that I would want to since I couldn't deny just how attracted I was to him or Jasper for that matter. It didn't take much for me to know that neither of them tolerated violence against women since everyone knows that if there's even the slightest form of aggression or unwanted advances taken towards women in the club, the men were to be kicked out as soon as possible.

What if I told them about James? Maybe they could help me get away from him...

Stop it, Bella. You already know what'll happen to you if you try to run. Jasper and Peter can't help you.

Swallowing the lump in my throat that made it difficult for me to breath I finish brushing my hair and wipe the tears that pooled around my eyes before pulling the door open and heading out to the bar.

The night went by quickly, almost too quickly to my liking. I really did not want to go home after my shift ended and my phone constantly buzzed with messages from James. When I had a moment to catch my breath in between drink orders I checked my phone.

You better be at the apartment by the time I get there.

Reading his message I felt myself beginning to tremble. I can't go home, not when he's there hopped up on whatever it is he's doing these days. And now that Paul was gone...who knows what he had in store for me. Tucking my phone back down in my pocket I focus on attending to the customers.

There were a few times when I stole glances up at Jasper's office that oversaw the entire club. When I started my shift, I hadn't seen either of them but after checking my phone I looked back up and was surprised to see both Jasper and Peter standing by the ceiling to floor window, discussing something with a serious air about them before they looked right at me. I stopped in my tracks as both of their eyes landed on me, their intimidating eyes that sent waves down between my thighs. Jesus, there's got to be something wrong with me. My cheeks flushed bright red when Peter waved at me and I hesitantly waved back before getting back to work, ignoring the continuous buzzing my phone made.

"Good work tonight, Bella." Benjamin says to me before he pulls his jacket on and moves to leave the club. I was one of the only people left on the floor as the rest of the girls went off to get changed while I finished my closing tasks.

"Thanks Ben, you too. Have a good night." I replied, taking my apron off and retrieving my phone from the pocket. I kept feeling pulses of uneasiness that made me feel sick to my stomach every time I felt my phone receive a notification. When I opened up my messages I felt an uncontrollable wave of nausea hit me.

All the messages I got within the last hour were from James. Only James.

Are you listening to me? Don't ignore me.

Isabella, you fucking bitch.

Answer your phone.

You're going to regret ignoring me.

You'll see when you get back.

I hadn't realized I wasn't breathing when I gasped and ran my hand through my hair, tugging at it as fear clouded my mind. What was I going to do now? He was so angry - no he was going to lose it completely this time. If the pain I felt on my face hurt from a single slap, I couldn't even bring myself to imagine what his fists would feel like against my sensitive skin.

"Isabella?" I nearly fall down as I flinched almost violently when a hand pats my shoulder. Whipping around I see Jasper Cullen standing behind me, his expression looking concerned and grave as he takes in my reaction.

"J-Jasper, i'm so sorry. I was thinking about something else, I scare easily." I joke lamely which does little to convince him as his chiseled face still looked at me with an unreadable expression.

"Are you okay?" Was all he asked me.

I tried smiling, even though my cheek hurt so badly that more tears almost sprung up in my eyes again.

"Yes, why?" Watching Jasper walk closer to me, my breath hitched as he raised his hand up and his long fingers caressed my cheek, tucking my hair behind my ear. I closed my eyes as I shivered when he brushed my sore skin with his thumb.

"Because Bella, I'm staring at a woman with a bruise on her face."

At his stern voice I nearly break down in front of him. Turning away from his touch I knew I had to get away from him before he saw me lose my composure but he didn't let me. His hand wraps around my wrist and gently pulls me back to face him and I seem to be standing much closer to him now.

"Look at me. Please." Jasper's deep voice pleads with me in an unusually empathetic voice. I breathed heavily, my vision blurring as I look down at the floor covered in gold and black confetti that looked like stardust scattered across the night sky. My eyes stung when I blinked warm tears that trickled down onto the ground.

"I'm...I'm not okay." I breath out before gathering the courage to look up, tears streaming down my flushed cheeks. Without another word Jasper holds my hand and pulls me closer to him, his hand being careful to not apply too much pressure on my face as his arm slips behind my waist. The comfort he was providing was so foreign to me yet I felt that I needed it. I let him bring me into a tight embrace and rested my head against his broad chest, my tears creating a small wet patch on his grey shirt.

"Come with me." He says and I obliged, wanting to stay with him for as long as I could before I would have to return to my personal hell.

Before I knew it, Jasper was leading me back into his office and pulling me onto the couch before he went to a cabinet where there was a small fridge there that most likely held his own personal bottles of alcohol. Instead of bringing alcohol however, he's holding a small square bag in his hand which I recognized as an ice pack. He sits down next to me and places the pack on my cheek.

"Thank you..." I manage to say through my embarrassment. We stayed in silence for a moment while I composed myself.

Then he spoke, his serious and collected tone cutting to the chase, "Who did that to you?"

Facing him I stared at his hardened expression with uncertainty. I'd never told anyone what I went through all these years with James, not even Paul knows of the abuse I faced after Charlie died and I preferred to spare him the pain I felt.

But with Jasper, I wanted to believe that he wouldn't judge me. That he would understand the situation I was forced into.

Seeing my fear, he takes the ice pack off my face and looks at the bruise carefully, "The skin didn't break so that's good but it looks like you'll have a bruise for a few days."

I nod absentmindedly.

"If you won't tell me who did it can you at least tell me what happened?"

"I-I can't. I shouldn't talk about these things to anyone."

"Isabella," I look up at his eyes, "Whatever you say to me stays in this office. I will not do or say anything about what you are going through until you tell me to. Do you understand?"

"I'm scared. I have to go home but...I'm so scared."

Suddenly he holds my hand in his and curls his fingers under my chin to make me look at the serious look on his face, "Then we'll just have to do something about that won't we?"

I sat in the black leather seat in Jasper's Maserati, biting my lip as I waited nervously for him to get in. He had insisted on giving me a ride to my apartment before escorting me to his car and as soon as I got in, his cell phone rang. He's been standing outside the car, pacing every now and then. Even with Jasper's calm demeanor I could tell he wasn't too happy with the conversation he was having.

Being a successful business man seems like more than a full time job by the looks of it. It's seems that all Jasper does is work. It must be tiring for him.

At that thought I felt a pang of guilt in my chest at how annoying it must be for him to have to help me with my own problems.

Not long after, Jasper gets into the car and starts driving. The ride to my apartment was quiet but I didn't mind. My heart kept pounding in my chest uncontrollably as I feared how James will react to me coming home with a man. The thought of him hitting me again made my skin crawl and my stomach to roll constantly.

"Don't worry Bella. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." Jasper's voice soothes me out of my thoughts and when I look over to him I can see he'll keep his word. When Jasper says something I could tell he was not one to be contradicted based on how cautious and quick to act all of his employees were in the club.

But then again, I doubted Jasper has ever met a man as cruel as James before.

Once Jasper parked, we both got out of his car and I couldn't help look up at my apartment window. For the first time since Paul moved out, the light wasn't on and the curtains were closed. James wasn't there or maybe he was and is just waiting for me to get home. Waiting for me...

I felt a strong hand circle around mine, making me look to Jasper and his calming voice reminded me to breath. I enjoyed the feeling of reassurance and peace that I only felt with him and Peter for some reason.

My grip on Jasper's hand only tightened as we approached the stairs that led up to my apartment and my fear was numbing my senses. The only thing that kept me at least a little grounded was the fact that I had Jasper by my side.

I immediately stop as we approached that used to be the door to my apartment. I stare at the splintered door that looked to have been kicked in and the doorknob was nowhere to be found. I felt myself out of breath suddenly.

"Is that it?" Jasper asks me, stepping in front of me to make me look at him. All I can do is nod in response. "Wait here."

"What? No, he could still be in there!" I said in a urgent whisper to which he simply nods at me in response as if it was nothing.

"I'll be right back." He reassures me, giving my hand one last squeeze before entering the dark hallway.

I paced in the hallway impatiently while I waited for Jasper to come back and every time I thought I heard footsteps approaching my stomach would drop. When I heard the destroyed door to my apartment creak open with difficulty I whipped my head around and breathed a sigh of relief to see Jasper again.

"No ones here but they left a big mess behind." He warns me but I had to see for myself. Walking past him I exhaled heavily at the sight of my small apartment in shambles. The kitchen was a mess, the cabinets and drawers were ripped out and scattered on the tile floor. The living room was even worse with the couch shredded and the coffee table was broken in half with glass shattered all over the carpet from the lamp that looks like it was thrown across the room.

I furrowed my brows at the sight until it hit me. Gasping, I run to my bedroom and see what I feared — what I hoped wasn't true. My mattress was flipped over and the bag of money I had saved up this year was gone, not a trace of it was left behind. My heart sank and ached from all the emotions I felt right now.

I stepped into the room to inspect the rest of the damage when I heard glass break underneath my shoe. Looking down I see the picture frame I once had on my nightstand. Picking it up and carefully shaking the broken glass off I look at the picture that sprung tears in my eyes instantly.

"We took this the year my grandmother took us in. My brother and I were orphaned at such a young age and she was all that we had," I say, knowing Jasper was standing by the door just looking at me. The way he constantly did. "This apartment was all that was left from her."

"I'm sorry Bella."

Not wanting to show him how weak I was I cleared my throat and wiped my tears with the back of my hand before turning around. His handsome face had an unreadable expression but his eyes...they clearly showed his emotions that I hadn't expected to see from such an intimidating man like Jasper. Sadness. He felt that for me. No disgust, no judgment whatsoever.

It almost made me breakdown completely.

Tears built up in my eyes as I spoke, "Thanks for coming with me tonight Jasper. I should okay now so if you want to go, I don't want to take up anymore of your time."

"You must think I'm insane if you think I am going to leave you all alone in this apartment tonight, Bella." He says in an incredulous voice and folds his arms across his broad chest.

Before I could come up with anything else to say he holds his hand up to stop me, "Do you have anywhere else to stay tonight?"

I shake my head, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

"Okay." I look up as I hear him walk out of my room and I furrow my brows. When I make my way around the corner of the living room I see Jasper on his cellphone.

"What are you-"

"Are you home? Alright well finish up soon. I'm bringing a guest over tonight and we'll talk then." I stare at him as he talks to someone on the other line before hanging up just as fast as he dialed.

A guest?

Then it dawned on me and my stomach started doing somersaults.

"Oh no Jasper I-I can't."

He turns to look at me as he tucks his phone back in his jacket pocket.

"Let me tell you what I'm seeing here," his dominating voice fills the room and instantly sends a wave down to my core. Of course I would be attracted to him even in the middle of the mess I found myself in. I look up at him as he walks over to me and stands so close I can smell the sweet scent of his cologne. I could feel my entire body earning his touch and as much as I wanted to deny it, I wanted Jasper to touch me in ways that I couldn't bring myself to admit out loud.

"Who ever did this to you is going to be back soon," his long fingers caress my bruised cheek gently and even so I flinched at the pain that radiated from such a light touch.

My heart pounded even more as he continued speaking, "So I can give you two options to help you. You can let me get you a hotel room until you can afford to move to a safer place where he won't find you. Or you can come home with me and stay the night where I'll know you'll be safe. It's up to you but you're not staying here another night."

I stood there, a dumbfounded expression on my face and all I could do was stare at Jasper who turned around to inspect the damage made in my apartment as if he didn't just say all of that. Giving me time to consider my options.

I think that's the first time anyone's ever given me that.

An option and for the first time in a long time, I was about to make one right now.

A/N:

Merry Christmas everyone!

Sorry for the wait on this chapter. Funny story, I wrote this chapter out weeks before and when I went back to revise and post it for all of you...it erased. Just disappeared. I was pretty upset about it haha but it's okay, we're back on track!

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