Song

Kiss Me In The Dark - CLOVES

Bella

I've been staying at Jasper and Peter's apartment for over a week now.

It was the most peaceful days I have ever been given the privilege to was no paranoia at night when I slept, no fist pounding at my door in the middle of the night with an intoxicated James waiting for me to open it, and there were no more beatings or verbal abuse. The more time I spent with Jasper and Peter, the more I grew to understand that they didn't want any of the things that James wanted. Jasper never yelled or even raised a hand at me but his presence was distracting and even more so whenever I could feel his intimidating eyes piercing through me. Peter never touched me in an inappropriate way until I initiated it and even if he did it was subtle, gentle caresses. His long fingers danced against my pale skin. On my shoulders, the back of my neck, even when he tucked my hair behind my ear. Whenever his hand lightly brushed mine in passing, it all felt amazing.

They were intoxicating to me, both of them and the more I got to know them, the more I started to realize just how different they were compared to the men I grew up around.

Jasper was like thunder, unpredictable yet precise. His clear blue eyes looked at me as if he could see my soul, he always knew how I was feeling as soon as he saw me and would barely let me say anything before he was asking me what was bothering me. I liked how cautious and tender he was with me. No matter how intimidating he was in the beginning, now I genuinely found his strong character to be unexpectedly safe. I felt safe with him, so much that I gradually felt myself drop my guard and let him see the most fragile side of myself.

And Peter...god, he was like fire. I couldn't believe someone as warm and reverent could exist like he did. He was kind to me of all people and he didn't try to hide how much he cared for me. Although I do hesitate to call it that, my entire body practically screamed it out confidently.

My lips burned after the kiss we shared that day. I found myself thinking about it constantly, so much that I dreamed about Peter kissing me again only it felt so vivid and the way his hands roamed my body was so overwhelming that I woke up with an urge inside of me that I never felt before.

I knew I wanted him but it both thrilled and frightened me. I've never wanted to do anything with a man before after what James and his friends did...something I couldn't bring myself to mention to Jasper or Peter that morning. It was too much for me to relive.

We hadn't kissed again since that day though, Peter has been working a lot lately, being gone most of the day and getting home long after I already went to be. When I see him at work it's only from a distance before he disappears again into his office. But I couldn't ignore the desire I felt from just feeling his eyes on me whenever he did walk up to the window with a drink in his hand.

Tonight was especially turbulent.

The club was overflowing with college students and an array of bachelorette parties all night long. Tonya, one of the waitresses, called in earlier in the day which meant I had to look after two zones all night long.

A drunk college student spilled his cranberry vodka onto my shirt when he tried to get me to dance with him and Emmett had to call a cab for the kid before he would have to kick him out in a much more unpleasant way. When the night was over I went to the locker room to find some way to clean up the stain on my shirt and cursed at myself for not bringing another shirt as a back up for these very situations.

Looking down I sighed. The red juice spilled into my shirt and over my bra, staining the front of my white shirt entirely. The shirt clung to my chest from the sticky liquids on me which made me grimace at how I would have to wait to get home to be able to fully wash everything off of me. Just as I rounded the corner I stopped when I heard Jasper's voice echoing through the hallway. "I don't give a fuck." He said, his voice cold. "You think I'm going to let him screw us over with his threats?"

"B-boss...he's with the Italians," a man says, I could almost imagine him shrinking down into himself in fear, like a child being scolded by a teacher. I couldn't help but lean against the wall as I listened to the two men in their argument.

"Listen to me very closely, I don't give flying fuck if he belongs to the Italians or the Russians, hell he could belong to the U.S. government for all I care. Find out where he's keeping the products before I put you in the same room as him so we can see exactly where your loyalties lie."

Without another word said between them, I hear footsteps flying down the hallway, towards me and I looked around like an idiot to make it seem at least a little less obvious that I had eavesdropped on their whole conversation. When a scared man ran by, his eyes barely looked at me as he bolted out of the door that led to the dance floor.

"...You can come out little one." I hear Jasper say in a less cold tone and I knew he was talking to me.

I slowly shuffled away from the corner I glued myself to and saw Jasper standing a few feet away from the women's locker room. His hands were tucked into his pockets, his entire demeanor exuded dominance. He wore a night black suit, the top buttons on his shirt were popped open enough to see his pale skin making it hard to ignore his broad chest and pronounced collarbone.

God, he was gorgeous.

I found myself blushing when he tilted his head to the side, as if to say, I'm waiting. Looking down at my feet, I make my way over to him until I'm close enough to smell his cologne over the vodka and cranberry juice on my shirt.

"Sorry, I needed a shirt. I mean, the juice on my shirt got spilled...I mean." God I was so stupid. Could I even speak English?

"I can see that. Quite a mess. Should probably go home and get that cleaned up." He said in an amused tone that told me he found my clumsiness entertaining. It made me feel a little better about what a mess I was that he could at least laugh about it. "I'm taking you home tonight, Peter still has to sort through some paperwork."

Nodding I turned to head into the locker room but stopped to look over my shoulder when I noticed Jasper just looked at me with an expression I couldn't quite read. It worried me, and when I gathered my things from my locker I couldn't help but go over Jasper's conversation with that man. Phrases of Italians, Russians, and products continuously swirled in my mind.

I haven't spent a whole lot of time with Jasper up until tonight, just the two of us, without Peter. When we got home Jasper asked me if I was hungry before deciding I would have dinner even if I argued that I wasn't. I was but I felt guilty for depending on him and Peter for everything lately.

Giving up on arguing, I went upstairs and took a thorough shower until I didn't feel my fingers sticking to my the skin on my chest and stomach. My hair was wet, slightly dripping down my back when I made my way downstairs. I slipped a long t-shirt on that went past my thighs, my pajama shorts could be seen just slightly under it.

Upon entering the kitchen, my nose was filled with the sweet aroma of garlic and olive oil and my mouth watered. Jasper was in a plain white t-shirt and grey sweatpants, a contrasted version of the business man I knew in Eclipse, but he looked perfect cooking in his kitchen.

"Do you need help making anything?" I asked as I rounded the island to stand next to him, enjoying the delicious smells of the sauce he was making for the pasta that boiled in the pot.

"I think I've managed to do everything but you can get two glasses from the cabinet." I tried to ignore the way his eyes raked over my body quickly before putting his focus back to the food Jasper was cooking. I grabbed two glasses as Jasper told me to and placed them on the table and by the time I finished pouring myself water from the pitcher, Jasper was already plating up the pasta.

We had dinner in silence in the beginning. Peter normally knew exactly what and how to coax me into a conversation just like he knew how to do the same with Jasper. But thinking about how to talk to Jasper without awkward small talk was...difficult.

"So, Peter's been working on opening a restaurant with Rosalie?" I managed to squeeze out something and of course I had to mention Peter to give me some sense of courage. Jasper takes a sip of his whiskey before resting his elbows on the table, his cool blue eyes were now completely focused on me.

"That's right, he and Rosalie have been wanting to expand their horizons with the business."

"Is that why he's been working so much?"

"Yes," He answers flatly which almost made me cringe at how uninterested he was about talking business when he wasn't working. I should have known that would be the last thing Jasper wanted to talk about.

I focused back on my food until he speaks again in a teasing voice, "Why? Am I not as fun to be around when Peter's not here?"

My eyes widen at his comment and I immediately shake my head, "Not at all! No, I enjoy spending time with you too."

He chuckles, "Well I'm glad you don't find me too dull."

"That wouldn't be possible. You could never be dull, Jasper. I don't think that's you at all." I could feel my cheeks light on fire as I went on my rambling. Something I did a lot when I was nervous which seemed to be whenever I was near Jasper or Peter.

"Oh? Why do you think that, little one?"

I twirl the water in my glass absentmindedly, "I don't know? I guess you just seem...centered, focused on what you want. Maybe that's why you're as successful as you are in what you do. I think you see others for who they are before they see you. Not everyone is like you."

"Maybe I'm not the only one who's perceptive. Thank you for your kind words, Bella." He says before taking another drink.

I shake my head, "I'm not kind...just honest I guess."

"What makes you think you're not kind?" Jasper's voice was deeper now.

"I haven't done anything that's been kind lately. I can't help my brother pay for his tuition as much as I should, I lost my grandmothers savings, and I'm taking advantage of you and Peter's kindness by staying here."

"Bella, look at me." I hadn't even realized I looked down at my hands on the table when I said all of that. Expressing my shame when his gaze was practically burning right through me again. It made me take a deep breath, my body grew tense. "Why do you regard yourself in such a belittling way?"

I shrug my shoulders before laughing awkwardly. When I felt my eyes stinging I decided I should go back to my room before I embarrassed myself more in front of Jasper.

"Thanks for dinner, it was delicious." I said while I washed my dishes. I could barely look him in the eyes as I turned around and leaned against the counter, "I should probably go to be, it's been a long night."

Jasper never stopped looking at me even as he stood up and walked up to me, making my heart pound in my chest. He trapped me between him and the counter behind me when he placed his hands on top the counter on either side of me. My breathing increased the more I looked at him, his body heat radiated off of him and onto me. I closed my eyes when Jasper's hand went towards my face. I got goosebumps as soon as I felt his fingertips caress my cheek, pushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"What can I do to make you see yourself in a better light? If you don't accept how other's feel about you?"

"H-how do you feel...about me exactly?" This was dangerous and we both knew it but I couldn't push him away.

I didn't want to.

His serious demeanor never left and the air around us felt thick as he spoke in a low tone, "Do you really not know by now, Bella? Or would you prefer if I showed you?"

And then his lips were on mine. I don't remember who initiated it first but neither one of us was going to deny what we felt any longer because we both felt it. The tension, the longing in the air every time we were in a room together.

Rough and demanding, Jasper's lips consumed mine, his teeth tugged on my bottom lip and I moaned. While his tongue explored my mouth, my hands found his silk strands as they raked through his hair almost as roughly as the way he kissed me. There was something primitive in the way we continuously explored each others bodies. It was so different compared to how Peter kissed me, Jasper didn't take his time, he was a man that knew what he wanted and he knew what I needed too with the way his hands massages my hips and outer thighs.

"Jasper." I breathed out as his mouth found my neck and nipped at my skin with his teeth.

His hands circled behind me, lifting me up onto the counter swiftly, bringing himself in between my legs to be even closer that I ever thought was possible. I was practically clutching his shirt in my fists, I could feel his arousal for me as it pressed against my thighs and it made me tremble.

"Bella," He whispers in my ear. I moan in response when his hands trailed down my sides and slightly under the hem of my shirt.

I should have known it was a bad idea to continue when I started trembling. Not only because I was nervous but because of the past I've had with James. And then at the mere thought of his name, all of a sudden Jasper was gone and his gentle caresses against my skin turned to rough hands pulling and pressing against me. I could practically feel the bruises he had left on me in the past resurfacing and it made me feel sick.

"S-stop." I barely managed to get out in a gasp. When I could hear James' voice in the back of my head, it was too late to stop the memories.

Grab her!

Fuck, stay still you bitch.

She fucking bit me!

Isabella, you've been so rude to my friends here. I think you should make it up to them.

I whimpered when I found myself back in that alley. James and his friends were surrounding me, yelling at me, laughing at my pleas and then their rough cold hands were yanking me back and forth. Each one taking their time...

"Stop! Stop, please stop!" I panted when my eyes snapped back open and suddenly I wasn't in the cold with animals anymore. I was in Jasper's kitchen, in the warm dimmed light the bulbs gave off.

"Bella..." My head whipped up to see Jasper standing by the island now, holding his hands out as if to calm an injured deer and he kneels down. I hadn't even realized I was in the corner of the kitchen, hugging my knees to my chest. I felt so small.

Realizing how crazy I must seem I begin panicking.

"I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean to do that!" I stand up with difficulty from my legs shaking so much.

"Hey, it's alright Bella. Stop, look at me and just breathe okay?" I flinched involuntarily when he tried to approach me.

My eyes were filled with tears, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that, it was a mistake."

"Bella, you shouldn't be the one apologizing. I'm sorry for doing that to you."

"No...it's not you. I-I didn't hate it. I just can't r-right now. I'm sorry." As if he knew what I meant Jasper nods and slowly places his hand on my cheek.

"Don't apologize. You shouldn't do anything you don't want to. I'm still here either way. I'm not going anywhere remember?"

And that's how Jasper breaks down my walls. He doesn't pressure me, he doesn't get angry for rejecting him nor does he leave.

That night I broke down again in front of Jasper. My sobs filled the silent kitchen as he pulled me into his arms, my face buried in his chest. I don't know how many times I apologized to him just like I don't know how many times he told me it was okay. He guided me to the living room and we sat on the couch, his arms never let go of me and I curled into him even more until I calmed down, until I couldn't feel his hand running through my hair while the other ran up and down my back in soothing circles.

I fell asleep in Jasper's arms for the first time that night. Maybe it was in that moment when I felt utterly and completely accepted by Jasper that I started feeling more than I ever thought I could for him.

A/N :

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