DISCLAIMER :

topics in this chapter may contain triggers for some readers. Please read with caution and take care of yourselves first!

This chapter contains : NON-CON & abuse

Song :

Various Storms and Saints - Florence + the Machine

Chapter 16

Bella

"Thanks for meeting with me," I murmured, looking down at the lukewarm cup of coffee I kept my hands wrapped around to gather the last bit of courage I had left. I couldn't look up to meet the eyes that were currently burning into the top of my head.

"Of course, Bella. I'm glad you called me, I was about to drive over to your apartment to see you." Rosalie said, her pretty manicured nails that were the color of lilac were tapping against her own mug. But she never dared to take a sip of the watered down substance that was called coffee. "How are you feeling?"

I didn't try to correct her about my apartment. Couldn't find it in me to admit that I was not only living with my bosses for some time now, bur her brothers too. I also didn't have it in me to mention that I was sleeping with Peter. Or rather I had been sleeping with him. It wouldn't matter now anyways, since I'm not going to see any of them again after this.

I asked Rosalie to meet with me at the diner that was closest to Eclipse just downtown and to my surprise she was quick to agree. Rosalie has always been very kind to me, her beauty seemed to show inside and out I realized now that I've gotten to know her. If it hadn't been for Rosalie then I wouldn't have managed to pay James the money I hadn't been able to gather in time. I wouldn't have met Peter or Jasper...

I was rather glad she didn't complain about the rundown diner or insist on going somewhere else considering I wouldn't have been able to afford anything fancier which I was sure Rosalie was used to. Just like Peter and Jasper were probably used to it too.

My throat was dry as I spoke, "Better. It looks worse than it is." I said, choosing to ignore the cut on my forehead and bruises on my neck that made it hard to speak. I didn't know when it had happened but at one point James must have gotten a hold of my neck last night.

"That's good..." She seemed troubled so I raised my gaze to meet hers and only found a composed, patient expression in her pretty diamond shaped face. Feeling as if her violet-blue eyes could see through my very soul, my cheeks flushed and I looked back down at my coffee.

"I wanted to talk to you about something. I know you're busy so I can keep it short," I stumbled with my words and my heart was beating faster now, "First, I wanted to thank you for everything you've done to help me. Last night must have been embarrassing for you and your brothers and reflected badly on the club. Having you guys see me like...that was mortifying. I can't promise that it won't happen again so I think the best thing I can do is quit."

There was a long pause between us. The only sound traveling around the diner was the waitress who strolled past us with her black sneakers squeaking with each step she took on the black and white tiled floor. She placed a cup of coffee and a plate of stacked pancakes in on a table before leaving hurriedly. An old man was seated in a booth on the far right corner, a cigarette in his hand and a damp newspaper in the other. It must have gotten soaked in the rain before he arrived. He kept struggling to keep it upright and would occasionally shake the paper to force it to stay straight. The man kept muttering his frustrations before taking a drag of his cigarette, ignoring the hot food in front of him. The smoke travelled over to us and it practically suffocated me.

Then again, this silence suffocated me too.

Rosalie's nails stopped tapping against the mug before she spoke again. Her voice calm and melodic, "Why do you feel the need to quit? Why not just tell me this over the phone?"

"What?"

Rosalie leaned back against the red cushion of the booth, the leather groaning from underneath the weight of her slim body. She crossed her arms and raised a perfectly shaped brow.

"I've had many employees in the past, Bella. Those who've never bothered giving me their notice. They just don't show up anymore after a while. But you...you don't truly want to quit, do you?"

I shrugged but she didn't let me brush it off as nothing. She's a lot like Jasper and Peter in this aspect. It made something in my stomach ache at the thought of them. Peter's laugh that filled me up with warmth. Jasper's attentive gaze that left me breathless and blushing. Every thing about them made me...feel.

Too much. It was all too much for me to handle without completely crumbling and I didn't want them to see how truly broken I was anymore. It was embarrassing. Shameful to show them how truly messed up my life has been and how damaged I was because of Charlie and James.

"I just think it's better...if I'm not around for too long." I whispered in a pained tone as I tried to hold in my sadness.

"Where will you go." It sounded like a command rather than a question.

I looked out the window, watching the way pedestrians ran around the sidewalk to escape the rain that hadn't let up since I left this morning. I made it to the diner practically soaked, the ends of my hair still dripped a few droplets onto my lap and my thick sweater stuck to my bare skin. I didn't let myself wonder where I would go after this. I could call Paul...no, I can't do that to him. Not when he was doing so well for himself now. If I went to see him and he put together just how bad things got since he left - he'd immediately drop out or tell me to leave him alone. I didn't want to interrupt the life he was building for himself now. At least one of us could come out better than Charlie had and live an honest life.

I wanted that for my brother.

Letting out a sigh I managed to say, "I'll still be around."

"Well, if you don't want to work at Eclipse anymore I don't blame you. It's definitely not a stable work environment with all the drunks and fights that break out. I don't blame you one bit," It was Rosalie's turn to be lost in thought now as her eyes seemed to dim from some memory that crossed her mind. It disappeared as quickly as it had shown though and she smiled up at me, "I am opening up a restaurant soon. I've been looking for a few employees I can trust to transfer them there. The ones that are driven to work for us in the long run. If I'm being honest I was going to speak to my brothers about transferring you there. Is that something you would be interested in?"

"I haven't been working for you that long. I'm not sure if I can even be of any help. And a job like that...I don't have the experience." The mere thought of having such a job made my heart pound.

"Why not? It's a learning opportunity if anything. I'm not going to lie to you and say that it will be easy but no one is perfect. Besides, I'm sure it will be less stressful for you to work in an environment that suits you."

I took a moment to think about it but being close to Rosalie, working with her...it would mean that I would see Peter and Jasper frequently. And I wasn't sure I could do that after I left the way I did. Which makes it wrong on so many levels if I started working with their sister. I bit my lip to fight off the frustration I felt towards myself.

"Think about it and tell me what you want to do. If you need to work less at Eclipse until you find another job that will pay enough then you can work weeknights when we have closed events." She said in the business like manner she always spoke in. Then her hypnotizing eyes grew softer as her hand reached out and settled onto mine, "Just...think about it okay? For me?"

I couldn't offer her anything other than a smile and a resigned, "Okay."

The rest of the afternoon passed by quicker than I thought it would and I'd spent it with Rosalie, talking about her new business. The love she had for culinary arts and what it truly meant to her to own a business like this without the help of her family. She told me about her plans to marry Emmett soon and that hopefully in the future they could have a baby or two. Rosalie was a very passionate, emotionally driven woman I came to find out, though her serious demeanor might prove otherwise to those around her. I admired how strong Rosalie was. I wondered if I could ever be like that someday.

When I asked her how they came about owning such successful businesses like Eclipse Rosalie was quick to explain that their father had, from a young age, developed an interest in entrepreneurship shortly after graduating from college. "Over the years he eventually decided it was time to retire and be with my mother. He hasn't looked back since and I don't think he misses our line of work one bit." Rosalie gave a rueful smile but before I could ask why she changed the subject to me.

I gave her a short version of my childhood and didn't truly give her too much information on James but a part of me knew that she found out on her own since her expression was unreadable as soon as I mentioned why I owed him money.

Eventually the waitress started hovering over us and we could feel that she wanted us to clear out for other stragglers to come in, hoping for more tips but Rosalie had been generous and left a big tip behind to make up for spending hours sitting at the table. Rosalie offered to drive me to my apartment but I told her it wasn't that long of a walk to get there so she didn't have to. It wasn't completely a lie but-

"Bella?" Rosalie called out to me before I was too far. She seemed to hesitate before walking up to me again. I noticed her hand reaching up as if to grab mine or hug me but she refrained. "I hope we can be friends even if you decide that you don't want to work for us anymore. I also hope that you won't push my brothers away completely."

My stunned expression probed her onward, "I don't know what your relationship is with either of them if it's anything at all but I saw the way they looked at you. Both of them just like I see the way you look at them too. They're good men and even better brothers to me. I'd hate for any of you to be hurt so just...be careful."

I didn't know what to say to that so I just nodded and that seemed to be enough for her since she gave me one last smile and squeezed my hand before walking off to her red convertible across the street.

It started pouring down again as I walked down the sidewalk, not too far away from the place I once called home. Why I even bothered going there, I don't know. It was useless but maybe luck would be on my side somehow. I still had my old key...If anything I'll just negotiate with the landlord to see if he can give me what was inside my apartment before he rented it out to someone else. Unless he threw it out to the dumpsters.

I was completely soaked by the time I slipped inside the building and walked up the stairs to my old apartment door. I noticed the doorknob had been replaced since the last one had been kicked in by James and the smell of fresh paint wafted towards me from the door that looked to be a darker green that before. I looked around to make sure no one would see me trying and failing to enter the apartment to keep an unwanted trouble from coming my way and then I slowly slipped the key into the lock and was somewhat relieved to see that it fit perfectly. And of course it didn't work. The key didn't budge one bit as I turned it over so I gave up and made my way back down the stairs, ignoring the small puddle that had formed around me from where I stood.

I barely had time to stress about where I would sleep tonight as I walked down with my head down low to notice two men standing at the bottom of the stairs, making their way up in casual strides.

My heart dropped into my stomach and I forgot how to breathe.

Jasper looked at me first, "Going out again, Bella?" I nearly cringed at the double meaning behind his unimpressed tone.

"Jasp-"

Peter dangled a set of keys in front of him, his eyes not really meeting mine as he walked past me with a few short steps to get to the top with his long legs, "You forgot your keys."

"What?" I breathed before Jasper followed after Peter and only motioned for me to follow them to witness Peter unlock the door to my old apartment and walk in without another glance towards me. My confused and utterly alarmed expression made Jasper stop and shrug, his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"If you had let me explain this morning I would have told you that we managed to save your apartment before your landlord evicted you."

I wanted to protest or cry or laugh in relief but all I could manage was a beet red blush on my face in response at how much they were willing to do for me so that I wouldn't lose my grandmother's home. They did so much, more than they should have and what did I do in return?

I left them without a word.

I followed and almost felt like I couldn't breathe as I closed the door behind me and saw my apartment for the first time in weeks. All the ruined furniture had been replaced by nicer versions that I never would have been able to afford in my lifetime. The sofa was a creamy white velvet and a small loveseat the color of deep turquoise was situated across from it with the same coffee table we had before. It looked out of place and I wondered if that's how I looked whenever I was with Jasper and Peter.

My heart started pounding in my chest wildly as I forced myself to look up at the two men that stood in my - their - living room. Peter stood by the window in the far left corner and Jasper looked around the small shelves I had installed years ago in an attempt to put up photos and books. He looked at the most recent photo frame with me and Paul in it, we stood in front of his old high school after he graduated. His royal blue graduation cap flying in the air and his smile was so big that I found myself smiling just as much in it. A long time ago. I stole a quick glance and noticed that nothing was ruined or shattered in the kitchen. The living room was intact again, as if it James raiding my apartment had never happened.

"How did you..." I whispered as I grew more and more overwhelmed by seeing my old home again.

Jasper spoke first while Peter looked out the window, his arms crossed against his chest. Something inside me ached that he wouldn't look at me but I guess it was to be expected. I wouldn't want to talk to him either if he had just left me all alone after the first night we'd slept together. I guess it must have felt similar to Peter to only find a note left behind. God, I was such an idiot.

"We wanted to make sure you didn't lose your apartment. At least until you decided what you wanted to do, we managed to pay the landlord for you."

"You...paid my rent?" I could hear the incredulous tone as I hugged my sides, "You didn't have to do that. I was prepared to lose it anyways."

Jasper took a seat on the couch and shrugged, "Then you can get your things and we can tell the landlord the lease is done."

"...I don't know what to say..." Before I could express my gratitude Peter's voice cut through me like a shard of glass.

"Maybe say 'thank you'?" I flinched at his tone as he finally turned his full attention to me. When I looked into his stone colored eyes, I immediately wished he hadn't looked at me with so much contempt. I knew then that I had done something horrible to him by leaving without talking to him first, "Maybe explain why you felt the need to run away after last night. Or better yet tell us to our faces why you thought that leaving a fucking note would have been enough?"

I hugged my sides tighter to keep from backing away from him. Peter took a few steps towards me until he stood in the middle of the living room and Jasper's solemn expression was trained on his brother from the couch. I swallowed, my throat burning and I could have sworn I could still feel James' fingers applying pressure there, "I told you why I left," I whispered, "It was a mistake to stay with you for so long while I still had a debt with James. I never should have...left the way I did. I'm sorry, Peter. But I couldn't stay with you anymore. It's better this way."

Peter walked up to me until he was towering over me but I wasn't scared of him. The warmth of his body called to me and I wanted nothing more than to fall into his arms like I had before. I couldn't bring myself to do so now.

"That's what I was asking, Isabella." My head snapped up to look at his eyes, cold fire fueled them which coincidentally communicated his words to me.

Why do you keep running away from us?

I exhaled as I caught Jasper's eyes on me too, waiting patiently for me to explain myself. I dragged my hand through my hair before saying, "You think that it's easy for me to just forget everything that I've been through? That I can just look past the beatings I got from James...the fear that he could have taken Paul away from me at any given moment? Sure, I could have gotten used to relying on you and Jasper to protect me and to care for me because I know you do...I'm not that ungrateful to not see it, Peter.

"But I know who I am and what I am inside," I held a hand to my chest as if to keep the disgusting secrets inside me from leaking out and sullying these two men in front of me, "You wouldn't be standing in front of me again if you knew just how bad things were before I met you. Seeing James last night was a reminder of that."

"Why don't you let us determine that? Don't decide what we can or can't handle for us, Bella. You have to let someone, anyone in so that they can understand what you're going through. You really think that running away from your problems is anyway to deal with it? You'll never get better if you keep doing that." Peter's words as true as they were, they hurt and even Jasper seemed to grow aware of my pain as he leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees.

"Running? I've never run away from the responsibilities I was forced to take! I always took care of my brother the best I could, even when I could barely stay awake because I was working two jobs all day and night and still took him to school morning. I took care of my drug addicted father until he died on the floor one morning and consoled my grandmother during her grief. But who was there for me?" I felt tears sting my eyes and I hated it so much my anger started seeping through my words as my voice cracked, "Who was there when I needed protecting? When those men did-" I looked away from them as a tear slipped down my face and memories of that hellish night resurfaced.

Peter's voice came out softer this time and I heard the sofa shift under Jasper's weight.

"Bella..."

"You wanted to know why I run away from my own problems? You think you can handle it when I can barely stand to think about it?" A cold laugh came from me and I didn't know how much venom I truly had inside of me. That was left behind by those animals. "Even if you did you know, you think you could look at me the way you do now? Fuck me the way you did a few days ago, Peter? Because that's what it was right? An easy fuck. I was just some girl that was easy and broken enough that she opened her legs for you the second you showed some kindness."

"Bella, that's not..." I turned to face him as Peter's words seemed to get caught in his throat. Jasper was standing behind him and looking at me with such sadness that I couldn't bare it. "You can't think that's the only reason I wanted anything to do with you was solely for that. It's not, I'll tell you now." I could see the hurt and anxiety in his perfect face that should only have a happy smile on like he always did. He didn't need me to take that away from him. Peter deserved so much more than that.

I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand but they didn't stop rolling down my cheeks. Jasper was the one to speak this time. The voice of reason it seemed, "Bella, those men...the ones that hurt you. Were they at the club last night?"

My body becoming stiff at the mention was confirmation enough.

"What happened?" He asked me gently.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"It does. Bella it truly does matter. James can't hurt you anymore, we made sure of that, and as for those men we'll do the same you just have to trust us enough so that we can protect you. So that you don't have to hide in fear anymore. Please let us do this for you."

My head snapped up to look at Jasper's face, sensing pure honesty in his bright blue eyes that showed so many emotions.

I felt my shoulders drop along with my head, "...Fine. You want to know so bad then I'll tell you. And after you see how disgusting it was, I am, you can leave. I'll tell the landlord I'm gathering my things and leave you free without this burden."

Peter opened his mouth to protest but the glance Jasper gave him made him give up on protesting.

I was glad for it.

We sat in the living room couch. Well, the boys did, I sat on the loveseat across from them with my knees to my chest. I kept my eyes down the entire time I began telling them what had happened to me.

"Shortly after my grandmother passed away, I started working more in a restaurant a few blocks away while Paul was either in school or would spend his weekends with his friend Jake. James would show up more often during that time and he would always make sure to collect whatever money I had, didn't matter if it was a week early or not. Eventually he seemed to always know where I was, who was with me, which guy from work hit on me and how that same guy wouldn't talk to me again when he showed up with a black eye.

"I don't know why...but his obsession to own me was becoming worse and worse every day. I gave him nothing but the money Charlie owed him, I barely spoke to him unless I had to and when he touched me I pulled away from him. I did nothing to...warrant what he'd do after that. Nothing."

I could see Jasper and Peter grow stiff, their stress was radiating towards me but I kept going.

"Since the first time he put his hands on me, he never pushed for much other than groping me. Taunting me. He never kissed me or tried to which I was grateful for except when he showed up high on something. I...got out of work late one night because we had to do deep cleaning around the restaurant. It meant more money which I couldn't afford to pick and choose, so I stayed. The busses stopped running after midnight so I walked. None of my coworkers knew me all that well so I didn't bother asking them to walk me home. I made it around the corner of the street that led to my apartment, just a few blocks away, when James called on me.

"He and his friends were all leaning against one of the apartment buildings, smoking and who knows whatever else they were doing. The second James laid his eyes on me, they all turned their attention towards me like dogs sniffing out meat. I knew I would get punished if I ignored him and before I could make a run for it, his hand latched onto my arm and yanked me towards them.

"I was so scared in that moment when I realized I wouldn't be able to get away. When he pushed me in between all those men...I froze. Completely froze as soon as I saw the looks on their faces. They were smiling at me like they were in on a joke and I wasn't. I didn't quite think that I was the joke." I couldn't stop myself from reliving the memories then. And it wasn't Jasper or Peter who were sitting front of me anymore but James and his followers standing over me in that alleyway.

"Oh, you look absolutely sexy in this little uniform of yours." James had said, his fingers grazing the exposed skin of my thigh that showed underneath my long jacket. I jerked away only to run into one of his friends, his ebony skin practically engulfed in the darkness of the night, "Don't you think so too, Laurent?"

Laurent bent his head forward, as if he were sniffing the air around me, "I would agree with you but I can't really tell with this jacket of hers. Maybe you can show us what's so great about your little pet?"

I didn't have time to react between the hands that caressed my back, my arms and legs. Didn't know how to protect myself or from who. The fist that curled around my hair and yanked me back, bringing me flush against someone's chest caused a pain at the base of my neck like I've never felt before. It was all so foreign to me and it frightened me so much because I knew there would be no one to save me from what was going to happen. I yelped when James ripped the zipper of my jacket open and giving them a full view of the dark blue waitress uniform I wore. My skin crawled as one of them breathed down my neck.

No. No. No. No!

I shut my eyes tight, hoping that I could at least block them out of my memory this way but a hard slap to the side of my face stunned me.

"No, no little one. You can't do that, not when we're going to show you such a good time."

They yanked and poked me to stagger further into the alley like I was sheep and they were the ravenous dogs that led me away from the shepherd during the night. In my sheer panic, without thinking, I slammed the back of my head against the man that held me by my hair. I heard a loud crunch before I was shoved onto the cold concrete. My legs scraped against the gravel and I felt blood seeping out from my knees.

"She broke my fucking nose man!"

Then, I ran as fast as my wobbling legs could take me. I could hear them chasing after me from close behind, some cursing and other howling in laughter as they found my trying to escape to be amusing.

"Grab her!"

"Isabella, come back here..." James said in a melodic, taunting voice. Sounding so calm as his friends did all the work for him. I screamed until one of them hit me on the back of the head and I gladly allowed the darkness to take over the haunting night I experienced.

When I finally finished telling Jasper and Peter everything I could barely feel the tears that had rolled down my cheeks continuously, leaving me empty. I still didn't bring myself to look up at them as I said, "When I woke up later that night, I was in the same alley way...curled up against the dumpster. Paul wasn't home so he didn't see what a mess I was when I practically crawled to the bathroom and took a shower until I fell asleep in the bathtub. The rest was just a blur after that."

Peter's chest was moving fast as his nostrils flared in his rage while Jasper simply stood up and walked around the coffee table to kneel down in front of me. His gaze looked at me with such heartbreaking kindness I couldn't look at him for too long. Reliving what had happened to me a few years ago left me feeling almost as empty as I had felt that very night. Now it would be worse because they knew and they would leave me all alone again only this time I didn't think I could withstand the darkness. Jasper's hands were cold as they gently forced my fingers to leg go of the cushion underneath me, my knuckles were a deathly white from how hard I had been clutching at the fabric.

"You've been through so much. I can't tell you how sorry I am that you had to go through something so...inhumane. That you were alone for so long. If I had known you at the time I would have never allowed them to lay their filthy hands on you. I would have killed them myself and relished in it as I ended their miserable existences. I'm so fucking sorry, Bella." His voice broke at the end when he called me said my name and I saw a tear escape from his right eye.

I wiped his tear away with my hand and forced myself to say the words, "I can't...be what you deserve, Jasper. Or for Peter. I'm so messed up but I need help, I can't do this anymore."

A sob released from my chest then and that was all it took before he pulled me down onto the floor and into his strong arms. His hands clutched at the back of my shirt and my hair as he showed me how strongly he felt about my past.

"We'll help you, I promise Bella. We'll help you even if I have to protect you from yourself, I will make sure none of those men ever lay their eyes on you again and then I swear you will be alright because you're stronger than you will ever know. Don't ever doubt that." It sounded like a fierce growl as he made his promise to me and I knew I didn't have to ask him if this was too much for him or Peter to handle. I knew they could. Just like I knew they could help me get better because I wanted to be good enough to be with them. However that may be.

How angry and hurt must they be because of what James did to me to make such a promise. To safe me from my self-loathing and shame. As he held me tight, I realized that Jasper didn't hurt me at all while he held me close to his chest though his grip on me made it hard to breath. I didn't mind though since I needed to feel this comfort that no one had ever provided for me.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and held onto him as I sobbed into his shoulder, never having had the chance to truly grieve for what I had lost so long ago until now. A hand that was surprisingly warm held mine and I opened my eyes, blinking through the tears that filled with them continuously to see Peter sitting down next to us with his own grey eyes glistening under the lamp light. His face looked so pained as he looked at me and then...he placed a kiss on the back of my hand and held it to his chest. Where his heart was.

"I'm sorry." It barely came out in a whisper yet I knew they heard me as both men tightened their grips on me.

"Do not apologize, darlin'. It was not you fault. You understand? What happened was not your fault." Peter said through gritted teeth as if to keep himself from screaming or crying. I didn't know which was worse.

The three of us stayed on the floor of my apartment for a long time before Jasper carried me to my bed and I felt the mattress dip before a pair of arms wrapped around me and held me close. Then I felt a kiss on the other side of face, the sensation on my temple was warm and gentle. When I forced myself to open my heavy lidded eyes I saw Jasper on my right with his hands rubbing soothing circles on my back and Peter was laying down beside me on my left, whispering gentle words of love and understanding in my ear before occasionally placing tentative kisses on the top of my head.

I fell asleep surrounded by love and warmth for the first time because it was the first time I've ever felt such willingness from someone to see me for who I truly was and ultimately, most ardently accepted for all of it. Good or bad, I knew after today that I loved Jasper and Peter with every fiber of my being.

A/N:

Please leave a review and follow/favorite!

Thanks for so many lovely reviews from the previous chapters!

I loved writing Rosalie into this chapter, I wanted to let others see her as more than just a supporting character but as someone who could help Bella in her long road to recovery in the chapters to come. Please be patient with Bella as she is a victim of assault and abuse throughout the majority of her life. It's hard for her to accept anything other than what she was used to.

But the boys will help her don't worry :)

Trauma is a very difficult thing to get past if at all but it's not impossible to manage if you talk to someone trust worthy who you can express yourself freely to. If anyone ever needs help please reach out and there will always be at least one person willing to be there to support you.

I speak from experience and I can admit it wasn't easy for me. I still struggle to put my past behind me sometimes but it's gotten better over the years.

It's not impossible if you truly want help to heal.

xoxo