Hi everyone,
Sorry again for the long overdue update! Thank you so far for your kind reviews.
As I mentioned before, I think I've had the post S5 story in my head for ten or so years now. Reading your reviews fills me with so much joy and I wish I drafted this up and posted it far earlier than I have done. I'll never get over the fact that there were SO many unanswered questions and loose ends from the Rachel, Mel and Eddie triangle… **ugh**.
Anyhow, I hope you like this next instalment. It's tense.
All the best.
4. Turmoil
September 2010
Melissa was struggling. Rachel should have known. When Philip was a year old, Melissa frequently rung up Rachel in tears, erratic and unable to cope, and Rachel would journey to Melissa's place. Nineteen years later, despite the years between then and now, history was repeating itself. Rachel was torn. Frequently soothing the delicate tears of her sister's young child, but then being hit with the sad realisation Sophie was also Eddie's child. She had his gorgeous dark hair and deep brown eyes. Looking at beautiful Sophie brought so much hurt, and as an aunt, the guilt washed over Rachel.
/
The front door opened, and light blonde hair glowed in the dusk light. Melissa's face was red, eyes watering, and her hands held a grizzly Sophie who also had traces of tears on her porcelain cheeks.
"I'm sorry." Melissa pained. Her voice was full of defeat. Not often did her façade slip, but the vulnerability was now etched across her. Scraped red raw into her face, her sleeve wearing blots of tears and smudged mascara. In silence, Rachel reached out to take Sophie, gently bringing her to her chest. Her face nuzzled in the crook of Rachel's neck; thumb delicately in mouth. Drama over. The trees rustled gently in the wind. Rachel was the calm after the storm. The chill of September air teased the ends of her blonde hair.
Rachel didn't ask why Melissa had called her, and not Eddie, for help. In truth, she didn't want to know. The less thought about him the better. A year on, and a marriage later, something deep down still struck the smallest of chords that she had buried within. She loved Adam, and like chalk and cheese, they worked well together. Of course she loved him deeply; he was her husband. It was something special between them. He could read her, and Rachel likewise. Adam utterly adored her – every inch – and would fall at her feet for anything she could ever ask for. But Sophie and Melissa brought baggage – tears, heartbreak, guilt, betrayal, disappointment, despair. They were sisters by blood, but by bond they were fractured.
She followed Melissa over the doorstep. Clutter to the left. Bags strewn on the right. The television was blaring a god-awful children's programme, and baby toys scattered the hallway. The lamp on the console table glowed. Sophie remained soothed in Rachel's hold, reassured by the peace of her aunt in comparison to the emotional chaos of her mother, as Rachel gently stepped through the hallway into the home. The baby's eyelashes began to touch, closing in a loss against the need for sleep. Her precious tiny thumb still remained a comfort. Rachel felt Sophie drifting, and could hear the silent sigh of relief from her sister who had left them both for the kitchen. Balancing child in arms, Rachel turned the living room corner and grabbed the TV remote from the sofa. The noise was cut. Peace.
Turning towards the kitchen, she stroked the soft, mousy hair of the angelic small child asleep on her shoulder. Her mind wondered. Was it Melissa who was a failure as a mother, or was looking after an infant this traumatic and difficult? A small, windy smile crept onto the little girl's features as Rachel's pinky finger smoothed over the baby's cheek. As she took a moment of peace with her little accomplice, Melissa met her at the kitchen island, armed with a bottle of wine. Judging by the empty bottle on the side, this wasn't the first this afternoon. Unbelievably, Melissa still stood straight.
Rachel spotted the Moses basket sitting quietly in the corner of the kitchen, and she gently placed baby Sophie onto the soft white mattress, gently covering her with her muslin blanket. In a quick glance, she could see Eddie in her features. Despite life having moved on significantly, she couldn't help but let her mind wonder momentarily. She noticed the little bit of milk left on her pale green Babygro; her curled up fingers and dinky little fingernails. Clinking wine glasses drew her out, back to reality.
'Thank you,' Melissa started, with genuine sincerity and an undertone of defeat. It wasn't often that Melissa showed true vulnerability; mostly it was all a front for a sympathetic response. Her usual panic soon surfaced, however. 'I didn't know what to do. She just wouldn't stop. My head is killing, I've barely slept, and then I couldn't get hold of Eddie…' Bingo. Melissa had called Rachel because Eddie didn't come running. Classic. Rachel did care for her sister – she was her only remaining blood relative, apart from the absent father she hadn't seen in fifteen years. But she was the back up call. Always. Whenever there was a need for something, Rachel was on the speed dial.
'Anyway, thank you,' she gave a gentle pause. 'Looks like you've got the magic touch,' Melissa gave a light chuckle, gesturing towards Sophie with a nod of the head as she battled the corkscrew and wine bottle.
'It's OK, honestly. As long as you are okay…' Rachel reassured, putting the pains and grief behind her. She gave a smile of reassurance to her sister, a gentle rub on the shoulder, whilst ignoring what her sister had just confirmed. The wine glugged into a glass, before Rachel tensed slightly. The mood changed. Her sister was fine, and she was no longer needed. A plan was required to get out of this one. The fact Rachel was a big wine drinker was nothing new to Melissa and turning down a glass often came with valid reason that usually needed to be disclosed. It didn't help that Melissa had always been far too invested in business that was not her own. Melissa grabbed Rachel's glass, soon to pour.
'No, I'm fine, thanks though.' Rachel paused. 'I need to drive back.' Unconvincing.
'It's allowed, it's only one glass.' Melissa protested, standing firm and beginning to pour. Hurry up.
'No, Mel…' Rachel firmed. The rest of the words – and excuse – were waiting on the tip of the tongue but wouldn't come out. Rachel had protested a little too firmly. A cloud of silence fell, and Rachel couldn't fill it in time. The excuse wasn't coming, and Melissa wasn't stupid. Rachel internally swore at herself. She toyed as to whether to break it with the truth, or stand firm. It was none of her business. Melissa had frozen, placing the corkscrew down, confused. Shit. The cogs were turning, Melissa was playing catch up. Shit. Shit. She could read through her sister, and always could.
'What?' Rachel questioned, pretending nothing was, or had, happened. As a distraction, she got her phone out of her pocket, seemingly occupying herself with busyness and checking whether she had a message from Adam. There was nothing to unveil or discuss.
'I knew it. Since when.' Melissa smiled, a little over excited. She smirked in satisfaction knowing she had teased out a big secret. Rachel's face showed she was contemplating her next move. In smugness, Melissa drew the glass of white wine to her lips. Rachel chuffed, half in reluctant defeat and half in despair, as Melissa was the last person she wanted to discuss the unexpected news with. She had some serious talking to do with Adam first, and speaking with Melissa was not on the cards for the foreseeable. The tension in the air dropped, but Rachel also became acutely aware of the fact she was sat at the kitchen island with her sister, the world's biggest blabber mouth. She loved drama, and this was some. Melissa had the knife, and was now free to twist it.
'Just- shh, just don't.' Rachel firmed, almost as if she was stopping a schoolchild in their tracks, mid-mischief. Melissa knew she had Rachel around her little finger. 'Melissa, I'm serious'. Melissa had ammunition for control, and she relished in it. Where in the past Rachel had such a hold over her as the older sibling, Melissa leaped at any opportunity to turn the tables – whatever the circumstance. Rachel squirmed at the situation she was now in. Loud mouth sister knows, and husband doesn't know. Melissa now held the cards.
'But this is such good news Rachel!' Melissa squealed a little too excitedly, before Rachel had to stop her in her tracks. It was like attempting to control an unruly, excitable toddler, who was about to scream in a place of total silence. She had to snuff it out whilst she had the chance, though she was already struggling. Melissa was a whole sight different to the version Rachel had been greeted with a mere fifteen minutes earlier.
Before Rachel could get a real foot in, the doorbell went. Rachel winced at the sound in worry that it would wake Sophie, although Melissa didn't seem to care. In most cases she'd thank the heavens for being saved by the bell, but today it was a rude interruption to something Rachel was desperately trying to solve and control. She took a deep breath out, composing herself. She prayed to god it wasn't Adam at the door. Rachel had mentioned she was dashing over to Melissa's as she was in a state.
No. The hairs on the back of Rachel's neck soon stood up. Footsteps made their way down the hallway. Rachel had already felt nauseous, but this was now pushing it. 'You didn't need to come, Sophie is fine now,' Melissa's voice echoed down the distance of the hallway. Mutterings occurred in the background. 'Anyway, Rach sorted it,' said the voice, which became louder as Melissa re-entered the kitchen. A figure was in tow, and deep down, Rachel knew without looking. The atmosphere changed, and she braced herself. Time suddenly began to slow and blur. A brown-haired figure only a few yards behind her, standing in the doorway. Rachel could picture it without turning to face him.
/
As Eddie entered the kitchen, he made a bee line straight for Sophie. The backs of his fingers graced her cheek, before he gently tucked her in, placing the smallest of kisses on her forehead. Rachel couldn't tear her eyes away. Melissa stood by the kitchen island, resuming the pouring of wine that cut through the space. It was almost a weird dream, and Rachel felt confused and empty before scalding herself. She had a loving husband and that life had very much moved on. Breathe. In, and-, out. In the peace and panic, Rachel suddenly became very aware of the little life she was carrying; wanting to protect it – for the very first time – from the circumstances she found herself in. Unlike ever before, Rachel wanted to disappear into dust.
'How are you doing?' Eddie asked, with so much care and a gentle smile, turning his attention to Rachel as he held Sophie's delicate hand. The baby slept peacefully in her basket. His comforting voice rallied new feelings in Rachel. Melissa was pretending to ignore the situation, gradually beginning to tidy the mess of the kitchen. Secretly, she was loving watching her sister squirm.
'I am great thank you, how are you?' She responded, a little overwhelmed, wondering if this situation was even real. Rachel could always put on a good act, whenever needed.
'Yeah, I'm good,' he paused, unsure on the ground for friendlies. 'It's been good to focus on Sophie for a while,' he said. It was a kind comment, but Rachel couldn't help but jump to immediate conclusions. There was an elephant in the room. She wondered if he'd go there. 'And I heard your news,.. congratulations. He's a lucky bloke.' Bingo, again. Eddie smiled, genuinely happy for her. But it was there. He was pained, and it was clear that he couldn't fully hide the hurt of discovering Rachel was now married to another man. Eddie was obviously long out of the picture.
'Isn't it such lovely news,' Melissa called, chipping in whilst loading the dishwasher. 'I was starting to think I'd need to sort you out with an arranged marriage,' she laughed, ever inappropriate and unable to read a room, and still high from the secret news she also knew. Melissa always managed to strike at inappropriate moments, unbeknownst to her, and now wasn't the time to delve into the details of Rachel's marriage. Rachel couldn't help but throw Eddie the look he knew and could read so well. Melissa would always be Melissa.
'Thank goodness she's asleep. My head is pounding.' Me, me, me. Melodramatic. Melissa was an expert at also ignoring her own incompetence, forgetting she was in utter despair and meltdown a short while prior. She also brushed over the fact that the two individuals stood before her were reluctantly there at her beck and call.
'Thanks for coming over, Rachel.' Said Eddie, in place of the absent thank you from Melissa. It was sincere, tainted with a brief sigh of relief that Rachel was there to support her frantic – and at times, useless - sister. He watched over Sophie as small talk ensued, a pleasant and welcome distraction from the two women stood before him.
'Yes, she's got the knack for it!' Melissa praised, a little too overzealously. She was still playing god with the situation, and Rachel couldn't bear it. Rachel was almost tense in total fear, sat on a tightrope, nervous that Melissa was about to open the more intricate details of Rachel's personal life. She did not need the details of an unplanned baby blurted out to her ex. In truth, each of them were internally screaming, shouting in silence what they truly wanted to say.
Melissa, you bitch.
Rachel, I love you.
Eddie, ask about her marriage.
It was enough. Snap.
'Anyway,' Rachel paused, almost defeated, though she tried her best to hide it. 'I'm glad you're feeling better, Mel.' She said, as she gradually made her way off the bar stool and grabbing her keys from her pocket. The jangle broke the silence between three adults, who weren't quite sure on the situation they had found themselves in. As it turns out, Melissa wasn't always as smart as she thought. Rachel was still the expert at navigating the room, placing people exactly where she wanted them – often back at arms length. 'Give me a ring if you need anything, otherwise I'll drop you a text later this week, OK?'.
'Yeah, sure.' Responded Mel, who suddenly seemed a little bewildered and flustered that she had lost her hold. Her façade of control and smug joy was slipping. 'Thanks Rach.' She called, in an attempt to keep up the act as grateful sister. Rachel made her way to the door in the distance.
Eddie couldn't help but turn his attention back down to Sophie, dozing peacefully. His finger gently stroked her cheek once more, the peace once again consuming the room. The baby stretched; her hand soon grasping out for her father's finger. He stood there, event over, thinking about what could have been.
'